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.... ~ " ~.f 'r : C7 T - - v The Beaufort Tribune. ' f ^ r ? ?? t ?' J . ? ' ? : > VOL. II.?NO. 50. BEAUFORT, S. C., NOVEMBER 1, 1876. $1.50 PER ANNUM. Our Autumn. Wo, too, have autumns, wben orr leaves Drop loosoly through the dampened air, When all our gool suim* bound in sheaves, And wo t tand reaped and bare. Oar soa*oiis have no Bxod retnrna. Without onr a ill tboy como and go ; At noon our suddon summer burns, Ere sunset all is snow. But oach day brings less summer cheer, Crimp* more our effectual spring ; And some, bing earlier every year Onr singing birds take wing. ?JjQWell. THE VILLAGE BANKER, " Whatever is, is right," said Sir Philip Wentworth, emiling, as he toyed with a peaoh after dinner, and watched a bevy of delicious children rnmninor in 1 o --his park, which stretched for many an acre in view through the open windows. The speaker was a pleasant, mellow gentleman, still on the sunny side of middle age. He had twenty or thirty thousand a year, not much as times go, bnt enough for him nud his, because he lived in the country and his tastes were simplo. The only expensive habit he cherished was a custom of keeping open house, as his father aud grandfather had done before him. Wentworth was the favorite rueot of the country hounds. It was a place much beloved also by bishops during their visitation, and by judges on circuit. It was famous full twenty mile. round for its homo grown veal, aud (or cream cheeses, butter aud ducklings. Its nectarines and its pears, too, were the pride of the neighborhood. All about Sir Philip was agreeable and eveu dignified. Hi- wife was as fresh and sweet as a full blown rose. It did hollow eyod Londoners good to look at her, and sent them away to their coun try cousins full of matrimouial projects. Lady Wentworth was one of those comfortable housewives who keep birthdays and holidays. There was nearly always somo little festival going ou at the hall, and the merry making there was not done in slovenly, disdainful way. New Year's day, or Christmas, at Wentworth was a refreshment for the soul aud body of every one present at it. The Wentworths did not only pass a few weeks of the year among their Buckinghamshire woods and meadows; they lived there. They spent their money on their neighbors, and took their joys and sorrows with them. Sir Philip and his wife could both carve at a harvest home or a rent day lunch, rtnd did so. " Your ladyship will spoil your sleeves," said the roctor of the parish to his patron's wife at snoh a time, when he saw some of her modest braveries in danger of destruction from the gravy of a baron of beef. " Wo can afford a new dress on such oooasions as these," replied my lady, simply; yet, as I have said, the Wentworths were not rich, and they might have easily spent the gross total of their income during a London season. Nothing but rural ways and admirable management would have enabled them trt liDO ?? * " ?" - w ?.W w ^ivuvttuiij, JfCfc DU WWII W1 till LI their means ; for they had not only themselves to think about, bat a family 'which came into bloom regularly at the rate of one or two blossoms every year. " Whatever is, is rigb,t" then remarked Sir Philip, taking a not unreasonable view of the world around him? that is to say, bis own scraps of timo and space in it. After all, the wisest of us can only speak sincerely from our personal experience; all other speech is made meroly of breath and speculations. " Humph 1 I dare say you think so, Sir Philip," replied Mr. Alontmain, one of the prino s of Lincoln's inn, who bad oome to see the country gentleman respecting a minor's estate of which they were co-trustees. "To bo suro I think so," resumed * Bir Philip, heartily, as he gazed with all the happiness of ownership on tho landscape, dotted with deer and children, stately trees, and a lake which shone in a twilight softened by a summer moon like molten silver, all aglow with beauty. " Ha 1" said Mr. Montmain, in a musing tone. "Don't you think sot" asked Sir Philip, somewhat slyly, for ho loved to smile with his guests over a royal joke p without any point in it. Like most dull folk he thought a jest decent enough when it was unintelligible, for then it frightened nobody. ' " Oh, yes, I think so. I think that whatever if. is riffht inst now fur m? T can't go further than that," replied Mr. Montmain. "I have, an you humorously imply, a very good business. So have yon. No better trade still exists than the earliest known among moo, which was that of the gruzier. Abel seems to have kept a grass farm after the fall, and Adam must liive tanglit him to handle his laud. The patriarchs generally lived in clover, as you do, and wero frequently pleased with their property. You are a sort of modern t Job before he was bothered by Beelzebub. I am?well, I am a kind of Protestant cardinal. Attorneys are the priesthood of Great and Little Britain." " Truly," declared Sir Philip, who had often seen with awe the height and magnitude of bills of costs. * Now the golden fleece comes from the ass rather than from the shoep, and parchment yields a bigger revenuo than wool and mutton." " Perhaps tlioy do," assented the prosperous lawyer, nodding oomplaoent, *' Then wo agree in thinking that whatever is, is right," repeated Sir Philip, with emphasis, because he liked to show that ho never mado a mistake iu laying down a moral law in such strictly conventional language that it could not possibly bo disputed by right thinking people. " We agree," observed the lawyer, taking a despairing fly out of his finger glass with a prong of his dessert fork, - " and we can afford to agree, about the unfailing excellence of afl those sublunary arrangements which I am glad to see were made for convenience; but if this fly?smarting with lemon juice, stupefied with rose water, wet, bodraggled, disconsolate, sick and half smothered?could speak, it is just possible that the fly might not express precisely the same opinion of Providence as that which wo have uttered with entire sincerity. The fly is not so well off as wo are. If even a moderate iucomo could be got out of it, many of the finest gentlemen In England would devote themselves entirely to the fly's service and glorification. But nothing is to be got out of the fly, and, therefore, I only saved its life to illustrate my argument in a neat manner. Already the wretched creature, too weak to use its legs or wings, has staggered into trouble again, and writhes in torments under the husk of a hothouse grape." " The sufferings of the lower part of creation have always seemed inexplicable to me," said Sir Philip Wentwoith; "still, as we know nothing of the motives which influence Infinite wisdom, we are bound to believe that they are in all cases benefioont." " Are we?" said Mr. Montmain, cool ly. "I should hardly have gone so far as that. When we know nothing, perhaps it is as well to presume nothing. Providenoe seems to be notably indifferent to the happiness of all created things?that is to say, with the ciceptirn of ourselves. We are happy. We have good health, plenty of money, m-my friends, and few cares. I do not know a"y one else whose circumstances aro so satisfactory. Obsorve, however, th.?t our advantages may be all summed up n cne. We are rich. If anything goes wrong with us, wo have the mo t judicious medical advice of the agj. Wo are not neglected and quacked by turns as the poor are. We have mu.iy friends and few cares, only became wo have enough money to enable us to do kind acts which cost us no sacrifiues. We give much and want nothing. We have few cares because money permits us to do very nearly what we please, and surrounds us with love and wi'b honor." " I hope you do not mean to teach me that money is the chief good?" said Si Philip, prosily; "I should be sorry, my old friend, to take up such a do trine.'* The lawyer was silent. - xiuveriiutuenB, continued air l'tniip, who loved his library, and had something of the oountry gentleman's fondness for casuistry, " money may perhaps be the outward and visible sign of the Divino favor. At all events it reEresents realized labor, and all work is lessod." " I would rather not go too closely into that subject," returned Mr. Montmain. " My father made most of his money, you inherited yours, and Lady Wontworth, if I remember rightly, v>..s sole heiress of the last Earl of Annandale through her mother, who also married property. I do not know that either of their ladyships, or that you or I ever realized any labor. My work is done by my clerks, yours by farmers and voemen." "At all events," said Sir Philip, " we have what we want. Let ns be oontent with it." "By all means. Let us be content," eohoed Mr. Montmain. " And own that whatever is "? " Why, no," interrupted the lawyer ; "I dil not say that. I merely indorsed your opiuion, that this is the best of all possible worlds for people like ourselves. The number of my olerks and your acres increases yearly. My clerks make out large bills, your hay and oorn sell at high pr.oes. This proves that law is expensive and agricultural produce dear. 80 muob the better for us, so much the worse for our customers." " I will neve r acknowledge that money is the chief good," said 8ir Philip, vouaiii fnl t* " Nil one with such a well managed estuto as yours need ever acknowledge anything or anybody," observed the lawyer, with conviction. " One oi my clients, who has not moro than halt of your fortune, repudiates his own children ; and I have nover beon able to persuade him that twice two are four unless his interests lean that way. I notice, moreover, that the world invariably surports him in his worst selfishntss and unbelief. The present age has no conscience, either public or private. All its triumphs are the spoil of trick and deception. Money is its god?a very old god by the way. The creed of the golden calf was simply money worship. I do not say that money always confers happiness, but I do say that there is no happiness without it. I am fifty years old. i have never had so steadfa-1 a irionu as my purse, i need scarcely add that I keep accounts only with the Bank of England. A private banking firm would take away my sleep and appetite." " Well, Montmain," pleaded 8ir Philip, " I like still to think that whatever is, is right?you must leave me my , illusions." An lon? as yon confess they are illusions I will not disturb them," answeri ed Mr. Montmain, who wan too rich to toady a client, and who knew that the surest way to a proud man's respect is ; frankly to oppose his most sentimental crotchets. "By the way, you knew old Daviti, of Wakefield-in-the-M<irsh, didn't t you f" e " Knew *>ld Davis ?" answered the fi baronet ; "what, Banker Davis, do you 'v mean? I should think I did. He was d my father's tenant for twenty years, till I they quarreled about some Methodist a parsons who infested the neighborhood. But ho was a hale and hearty fellow when d I saw him last market day, after a sitting h of the petty sessions at Dronington." s " He isn't hale and hearty now," said the lawyer. " He hanged himself yes- to terday at an old inn in Leadenhall I street." h " Heaven and earth !" exclaimed Sir a Philip, "what shocking news! I re member Banker Davis when he was 8 quite u child. He was an obstinate old to fellow, Baid to be rich for his rank in 8 life, and he was one of my father's show to peasants till they quarreled." 8 "I daresay, I daresay," mused tho ? lawyer, absently. " Now, I will tell you a what happened to him only last week. a It will amuse you, and perhaps give you b new views of terrestrial happiness. Job d Davis was, as you are aware, an honest, saving character. All his life ho had 8 been heaping up halfpence, and occasionally managed to put by a shilling r' among them. He knew the value of ' money even in his small way, and he was P quite proud of his little hoard. Many a ? winter's night Job ? ould lie down in a 1' farmer's cowhouse and go to sleep ^ among the warm animals to save firing, and I have seen him carry a bundle of h sticks ho had picked up in hedges and ' ditches to sell for firewood at Droning- r' ton, though ho could have only got a c few pence for it. He was a cheerful c and sensible old man, with no evil propensities, very honest and very good na- n tured; but ho had probably a fear of <3 poverty, and no gain was too small for J nim. His only food was a mess of gruel tt and potatoes, which he made himself at the blacksmith's fire, or, on baking 6 days, at Mrs. Jinks' oven. PerliapB his c light diet accounted for his high spirits, c The people around here called him Banker Davip, because ho liked well d enough to chuckle over his money, and v he would always lend the whole or any b pint <>f it on moderate terms when he knew tho applicant was solvent and 8 would pny him back again. I myself b borrowed a hundred pounds of him one P day, during tho assizes, to settle a b troublesome business of young Cadway's with n billiard marker. c " I laughed when my agent down hero " called Job out of the market, where he . wi e selling four now laid eggs, and introduced him to me as a capitalist. But Job himself was mightily pleased, and promised to bring him the money, if it had been twice as much, in half an hour, and then ho scudded oil ns fast as his nimble old legs could carry him. From j1 what hiding pla e he took the bank " notes he brought back with him I do not " know. I only remember that they smelt .1 moldy, and I was glad when the billiard 11 marker had them. I do not know which * was the dirtiest, Cadway's case or the J1 money that got him out of its oonse- j( quenoes. I am afraid that it was this 1 simple, open-handed way of dealing with the money he had taved so penuri- j3 ously which brought Banker Davis to f" ruin and to self-murder. One day, dur- J? ing the race week, Cadways got hold of j1 him, and conjured every penny tho old " man bad away from him by somo cook- c and-bnll story. There was no doubt ? that the young rascal had committed a " misdemeanor, aud Job Davis came on ? foot to London to ask me to prosecute. 33 Of course I declined to do so, because ? my firm never touches criminal busi- " ness. * " We are oonveyancers, and the linos 33 which separate tho different branches of n our profession are very rigidly drawn, jj A solicitor who keeps a shop of all sorts 33 loses caste. Nevertheless, I took so . much interest in Job?whose_face under 13 misfortune looked like a winter apple " which hud been dropped in ashes, so ' smeared and red was it?that I recommended him to tho gentleman usually employed by my lirm in such cases; and I have no reason to doubt that the best wan uuuu 1U[ J11LU tuui COUKl DO UOU6. Unhappily, however, for Banker Davis, f, thero was a comic element in bis mis- a fortuno, and his very appearance was f, laughable in the eyes of the law report- j{ era. Ho was his provincial accent of a n peasant s language. Cartways, too, hart p really robbed him in a funny way, and f( there was something said about a night- a cap and an old stocking in which Job had kept his savings that quite overcame the gravity of tho bench. Cad- n ways, of course, was splendidly defend- a ed by Gizzard, Q. 0., and Serjeant r, Bumptious, so that in the end, Job'o M misery was treated as the merriest bnsi- e ness imaginaole. He had no legal proof p even that he had been robbed, or that t] he had over possessed anything worth y stealing. The court, which dined with p the defendant, afterward finally dismissed the complaint amidst roars of laugh- c ter, in which the worthy magistrate join- p ed; and all the high class Liberal newspapers that most adored the aristocracy gave tho very drollest possible report of the proceedings. I myself smiled over it, and as I did so, I read in another part of the paper a short paragraph, v evidently written by a penny a-liner, re- p lating how one Davis had hangod him- o self at an obscure inn near Leadenhall o street, and that ho was supposed to have c oommitted suicide while in a state of f< tor porary insanity. By-the-bye," added w Mr. Montmain, in a dry way he had, a " I brought the paper down with me, o and here it in." Ho Haying, tho eminent r professional gentleman pointed smiling- ' h ly to a paragraph in the news sheet, and h handed it to Sir Philip Wentworth, who o i was chairman of the qnarter sessions in b his district." c " I notice," obeerved tbo country gon leman, feeling a benevolent interest al nost feudal in tho untimely end of hi ather's tenant, " that the magistral cry proporly remarked he felt it hii luty to say, before the case closed, tha jord Cadways left the court withon stain upon his reputation." " Yes, the magistrate could not hav< lined with him at Richmond unless h? lad said that," argued the lawyer, rea onably enough. " I am afraid old Job Davis was rathei oo fond of his money," murmured Si: 'liilip, as though he grieved, as per taps lie did, over the selfishness ant varice of the deceased peasant. "Ah I I never thought of that," an wored Mr. Montmain, who seemed t< iave fallen into a brown study. "Pos ibly Providence wanted to give him i asson. We want no teaching of tha ort. And now I think of it. Sir Phillip ir. Starling has given notice that ho ii bout to pay off the twenty-five thou and pounds which you advanced t< im some years ago on mortgage. Hot 0 you wish that sum to be invested ?' "In real estate," replied Sir Philip, imply. "Your half-brother mentioned to me," esumed the lawyer, with a short cough 1 that he had some claim in equity on i art of this money, though ho could not r would not, substantiate it before i ?w murk, iut mLuiiy conBiaerauoni rhich he held sacred." " Ah !" sighed Sir Philip, shaking is head full of virtue almost mourn ally, " I have long since ceased all oor esponilence with my brother, and ] annot in justice to my own family re ognizc his claim." "Of course not," replied Mr. Mont lain, as one relieved of a depressing oubt. " And so you really think tha ob Davis was too fond of his money nd that whatever is, is right?" "Yep, I do," exclaimed the conntrj entleman. fervently ; and thero was i ertain warmth of sincerity in his ac ents most winning and agreeable. " Well," replied the lawyer, with i rv smile, " it is a serviceable faith ery convenient for select society. Yoi avo almost persuaded me to adopt it.' "Ithink," said the rector, who no\ poko for the first time, "that we ha< letter not pass judgment on the incom irehensible. We cannot measure tin xraament exactly with a plumbline." "That is certainly another view of th< ase," remarked Mr. Montmain, yawn Qg slightly over an unuttered thought and between you and me, parson, hink you are right." A Bright Horse. The Boston Journal relates the follow ig : Among the many horses ownei y a street railroad company is one win sed to give the hostlers a deal o rouble by slipping his halter and roam ig at will about tho stable. The lialte ras on each occasion buckled on a igiitly as possible, but to no purpose ir the horse would invariably be foun< alf an hour afterward making a digni td tour of the stable. This bocami lonotonous to tho hostler, aud ho dc jrmined to as certain the modus operand y which his equine friend secured hi borty. Agaiu the halter was tiglith uckled on, and taking a seat where hi ould watch his troublesome charge, hi wa ted developments. Pretty soon i orse who stood beside the troublesomi ne was observed to poko hie nose int< is neighbor's stall, and catching thi nd of the halter strap between hii aeth, he pulled at it. His first, seconi ud third attempts to unlooso th< ucklo were unavailing, but with re larkablo perseverance tho horse re Limed to his work repeatedly, an? ually out dropped the buckle tongue lie throat strap fell, and the horse o iqnisitive mind was soon st-Uking abou tie stable again. A change of locatioi ias of course u necessity. Taking Care of Tlieni. That is a noble charity which the Bap ists of Euglaud have just inaugurate! :>r their wornout ministers. As a ruh liorso which has served his maste: lithfully for twenty or twenty-five yeari i better cared for in his old ago than i liuister who has served the church foi irty or fifty years. He is left to scratcl ir himself, aud beg or dio is often tin ltoruative. The English Baptists havi 1st provide four semi-detached housei i one of the healthiest districts of tin letropolis where eight aged minister re accommodated with comfortabli Doms and an allowanco of $250 a yea rune mey live. ine jnow York coufer nee of the Methodist Episcopal churcl rovidod three or fonr snch homes ii lie country for its old membeis a fo\ ears ago, but the depression of tin inies stopped the completion of this en orprise. It is something that all th< hutches and denominations ought U jok out for. Faithful to Troth. The Richmond Whig soys : In a fev reeks a young lady of great wealth ant orsonal attractions who lives in tbii ity will bo led to tho altar by the mai f her choice, who is an ex-penitcntiar onvict, he having served for nine year or ron^ery. ino young man, since hi ran released from confinomont, has lei model life, and boa worked iiulustri usly at his trade. Tkero in a tingo o omanco about tho affair. Tho younf idy remained true to her lover during is long confinement. There ia no littli ^position on the part of her relativea >ut aho will marry tho man of he hoice, all obataclea notwithstanding. Women and Wire. Of tlie worst foes that woman has 9 ever had to enoonnter wine stands at 3 the head. The appetite for strong drink 9 in man has spoiled the lives of more ' women?mined moro hopes for them, scattered more, fortunes for them, ? brought them more sorrow, shame and 3 hardship?than any other evil that lives, 3 The country numbers tens of thousands, nay, hundreds of thousands of women who are widows to-day and sit in hope- a r less weeds because their husbands have 8 r been slain by stroDg drink. There are j hundreds of thousands of homes seat- n tered all over the laud in which women a live lives of torture, going through all the changes of suffering that lie be- ? 3 tween the extremes of fear and despair, ? because those whom they love like wine c 9 better than they do the women they jj have Bworu to love. There are women ' by thousands who dread to hear at the . 9 door the ster> that one1* thriller! them . with pleasure, for that step has learned 5 to reel under the influence of seductive v, poison. There are women groaning with pain, while we write these words, from bruises and brutalities inflicted by J1 , husbands made mad by strong drink. " There can be no exaggeration oi any P statement made in regard to this mat- r 1 ter, because no human imagination can create anything worse than the truth, p 1 and no pen is capable of portraying the li 3 truth. The sorrows and the horrors of A a wife with a drunken husband, of a g 1 mother with a drunken son, are as near the realization of hell as can be reached ?j " in this world at least. The shame, the a indignation, the sorrow, the sense of g dit-grace for herself and her children, t! the poverty (und not infrequently the beggary), the fear and the violence, the lingering, life long struggle and despair " of countless women with drunken bus- * ' ban Is ore enough to make all women ^ curso wine, and engage unitedly to op- * f pose it everywhere as tho worst enemy B 1 of their sex. Women, there are some things yotr v can do, and this is one : You may make o 1 drinking unpopular and disgraoeful a among the young. You can utterly dis- n ^ countenance all drinking in your own fc house, and you can hold in suspicion ? every young man who touches the cup. fo You know that no young man who 0 drinks can safely be trusted with the d 0 happiness of any woman, and he is as n unfit as a man can bo for a woman's so- 0 0 ciety. Have it understood tbat every young man who drinks is socially pro- c J scribed. Bring up your children to re- % gaai drinking as not only dangerous t but disgraceful. Place temptation in a no man's way. If men will make beasts n of themselves, let them do it in other society than yours. If your mercenary uiinuuuua ireai iiieir customers irom pri- n " vate stores kept in their counting- a 1 rooms shame them into decency bv your y 0 regard for the honor of your home, n ' Recognize the living, terrible fact that 1 wiuo has always been, and is to-day, the r curse of your sex; that it dries up your 9 prosperity; that it endangers your safe- n ? ty; that it can only bring yon evil. If 3 social customs compel you to present wiuo at your feists, rebol against it, and ^ 3 make a social custom in the interest of & " virtue and purity. The matter is very 1 much in your hands. The women of 9 the country, in what is called polite so- ! V cioty, can do more to make the nation J a temperate than all tho legislators and ? 3 tumultuous reformers that are strng- ' 1 gling and blundering in their efforts to r 0 this end. 0 3 1 idu't Make a Cent. b 9 l 1 An unknown man entered a hosiery Q store in Detroit, says the Free Press, and . asked to be shown "a few sockB." When j, . ho learned the price per pair of woolen t: 1 ones, he put them aside and said : "1 guess I'll keep on weariug cotton f or.es. They say if you wear 'em right Tf t along through the winter your feet don't *! gei cold." Some cotton socks were handed out, " and ho persuaded the dealer to drop *' from twenty to tlfteen cents per pair. 8 Then he said : "I can buy the same kind in Toledo a - for ten cents." o I "It doesn't seem possible," replied t! ? the dealer. " Will you swear to it?" a r "I will. I'll make affidavit to the tl * fact." u "i The dealer told bim *o go around to g t? a justice, make tbe affidavit, und tbeii i bo should bavo four pairs at ten cents j, 3 per pair. Tbe stranger was as good as p 3 bis word, and he chucklod and cackled p s over his shrewdness until the document 0 3 was made out and be had been sworn, p 9 Then the justice remarked : 3 " A dollar is the fee." n r {Something camo over tbe stranger - about that date. Qis kuees wobbled a 3 little, and bo swallowed ns if something E 3 choked him. Ho banded over tbe dol- ti " lar, walked out, and tho four pairs of tl 8 rocks are still left on the shelf. If the ^ - shrewd chap made any remarks to him- b 9 self, ho probably whispered : 3 "Virtueis its own reward, and you a are 150 pounds of fool." f< i iic xuuux x iiAi it.?? uimmu Borne- ? thing to euro a boil," exclaimed a oiti- P v zen an be dashed into a drug storo. "Ah, u i bo you have got one of thoRo things, a s now, have you ?" smiled the clerk. 1' j " Yes, sir, and it's just in tbo right I , place." " Just in the right place?" re- o H peated the clerk ; " why, why, whore is h a that?" "On my hired man, came the I sweet reply, and the clerk saw the point. a ti f If your kitchen floor squeaks, don't ii 5 put oil in the crevices; just engago a 1 j cook whoso sweetheart visits her on the ii a sly and stays till the small hours. Yon b , will never hear another squeak from d r kitchen floor or basement door hinge as d long as they remain unmarriod. a Items of Interest. The farmer's best vest?harvest. What is the worst kind of an omen t 'o owe men. Character is the diamond that cratches every other stone. What is that which is lengthened by eing cnt at both ends ? A ditch. Remember the poor, and while yon re about it remember that they need omething. A good watch, in yonr wakeful moaents, will always be on its guard gainst you. The ohief glory of American liberty is he impartiality with whioh it guaranBes to every public man at least one hauce to deny that he is a burglar or a orse thief. The committee of the Will oounty (DL) , aby show limited the entries to thirty abies, the chairman declaring that he ould not stand the abuse of more than wenty-nine women. A -1 UU dULi 1 xx luuMuaauio ui^un ui OWHllB, m 1IUOK ally a mile and a half long, and numbering not less than 10,000, was seen to asa over La Salle, along the Illinois iver valley, recently. A spectator with an affectionate disposition undertook to caress a Nubian ion at a railway station in Franoe, lately. l crowd rallied to his assistance, and he ot away with the loss of an arm. Conrad Dearing bragged, while drunk a Columbus, Ohio, that twelve years go ho killed a colored man. When he ot sober he found himself in jail, with ho chances in favor of his being hanged. The school board of Davenport, Iowa, as adopted a rule prohibiting formal eligions exercises in the publio schools. ?hiB is the first 6uooessful attempt in owa to take the Bible from the publio ohools. A traveler in the Cast onoe saw a man rho had lost his logs by leprosy, mounted n the shoulders of one who had lost his rms by the same disease?the first lentioned sowing grain, while the later did the looomotion. Judge Lindeman, of Cincinnati, senen ced a little boy to two years' imprisnmont for stealing a newspaper from a loorstep. The lad s mother was thereby aado insane, and the magistrate Is ths bject of public indignation. Man," says Victor Hugo, "was the onnndrum of the eighteenth century ; rom tn is the oonundrum of the nineecu tli century." An American editor << U 1 A Sit UUP. ?t O mui V 5UCDO UW, UUI Will ieyer give her up. No, never." Cincinnati has become a great shoe aanufacturer, the industry having been ugmented to such an extent of late ears that it is now the oenter of shoe innufacture by machinery in the West. Mie business was first begun in 1863. Col. B , who was very fat, being Boosted by a man to whom he owed loney, with a "How d'ye do?" anwcred : " Pretty well, I* thank you: ou find I hold my own." " Yes, sir, ejcined the man, "and mine too, to my orrow." The ancient kingdom of Poland is now or all purposes an integral part of the Im-sian empire, the last remaining veeigo of its semi-autonomioal character taving been swept away through the eccnt abolition ot the offioe of secretary >f state for Poland. Why is it that a man always defers nocking the ashes off his cigar until they tave fallen inside his vest, and a woman 1 lways tearfully declares, the morning , iter the first white frost, that she had a tended to bring those house plants in be next morning. The mother-in-law problem has been educed to its lowest terms in Maine. )ne man had four daughters and one on: his neighbor four sons and one anghter ; these were enamored of hose; net result?five weddings, aggregating only two mother-in-laws. Estimate the sum of mental endeavor nd anxiety, of physioal effort, of time ccupied and money spent throughout he country in a Presidential oampaign, nd then name the undertaking in which bo percentage of wasted energy as oomored with the total foroe exerted is as Teat. At Monaco, a frequenter of the gamling saloon was refused admission. [<s asked why, but received no answer, io then, being Frenoh, nought the aid f his oonsul, but with no better result, ie bas consequently filed a petition in le superior court, praying that his adlission be oompelled under a heavy fine. A fight between the cannibals and the iritisb is reported from Fiji. The nav< a fortified themselves in caverns after le attack, in which a number of whites ere killed and wounded. The strongold was blockaded and the cannibals Larved out; seventy prisoners were intrnfld and oonfined. nwaiiino an >r their execution. The total number of Christians in the orld, as given in " Chambers' Encyoloedia," is 863,000,000?an immense umber. The non-Christian population mounts to 918,000,000, which inoludes 20,000,000 Mohammedans, 190,000,000 Irahminioal Hindoos, 1,000,000 Parsees r Ore worshipers, 488,000,000 Buddifcts, and 189,000,000 heathens. At a London inquest on the death of cab driver, who had fallen through a -Eudoor in his stable, the remarkable itclligenoo of a horse was described, 'he beast was heard pawing and neighife, and a man offered it water and oats; ut it continued its strange actions, eneavoring to attract attention to the oor. The man comprehended at last, nd diucovered the body.