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^tumorous flcpartmrnt. Why He Was Bashful. A Hutchinson girl declares this story is true. She was visiting at a small Kansas town recently and while there her hostess gave a party in her honor and invited the pick of the whole countryside. Among the guests was a boy who had been to Topeka, so she i had heard. She had some acquaintances in Topeka and tried to draw him ovt, inquiring: "How did you like Topelu.?" The young fellow blushed and looked down before he murmured, "Oh, pretty well." "Do you know many people there " ? >? /lnntlnnoH ?rvlnir tn oret him in terested, and attributing his reticence to bashfulness. "Why, not many," he said, tugging at his collar as If it were strangling him. "I suppose you went to the park when you were there?" she asked. "No," he :*eplied, "I did not attend any of the affairs at the park." She talked about other things, and later, when an opportunity came, ask ed the hostess why that boy had been so reticent about talking about Topeka. The hostess threw up her hands. "We simply had to Invite him," she replied. "He belongs to a good family. As a matter of fact, he had just returned from Topeka, where he has been In the reform school."?Kansas City Journal. English Solemnity. Marshall Wilder has returned to New York from a trip to England. "The difference between English and American humor," he says, "is about fourteen days. Joking with the English is like taking liberties with the church. I pulled one of my best ones on them and it was twenty-Jour hours before I learned what was the matter. "1 told one of my audiences that the busiest man I ever knew was a friend of mine who had only one arm and the prickly heat. A pained expression passed over the faces of the audience and I didn't get a smile. The next day I learned they never have prickly heat in England. "But don't think for a minute the Englishman cannot understand a joke. His humor is more stolid than ours, but you hand him something he understands and you get him with you to the finish. But it's a queer country. Everything is run by rule. The rules their grandfathers laid out for them fit them now. "I dropped Into the 'Waldorf one evening for dinner. You never saw such a quiet and solemn looking dinner party in your left. I called the waiter and asked: " 'Does anybody ever laugh in here?' " 'Well, sometimes we 'as complaints, sir,' he replied, 'but not hotter, sir.' "?Cleveland Les.der. No Help For It.?The young benedict was experiencing his first trouble. "My wife," he said, "is so exceedingly nervous at night She scarcely sleeps." "Burglars?" queried the old married man. "Yes." "Well, you have to expect that. My wife was that way. Every time she heard a noise downstairs she'd rout me out and chase me down to investigate. After a time, however, I convinced her that if a burglar ever did get into the house he wouldn't make any noise at all." "Clever," exciaimea me young one, "I'll try that." "Don't do It," pleaded the old one, "for If your wife's anything like mine she'll turn right about and worry every time she doesn't hear a noise downstairs."? Catholic Standard and Times. Sentiment By the Sea.?They were sitting by the sad sea waves, Just he and she. After a long silence he ventured to say something sentimental. She looked at him and said in a scornful voice: "If there is anything I hate it is sentiment. I think it is so nonsensical." "You surely can't think that is sentimental," he said. That was Just t. remark passed for the want of something to say. I will tell you of a person who was sentimental. I knew a young lady who was so sentimental that every day she took a half hour off to go down to the morgue to see if any of her admirers had committed suicide."?Philadelphia Times. The Motive.?Mrs. Julia Ward Howe Is no friend to the new suffragette slogan, "No vote, no husband." She says the plan is old?she says it was tried unsuccessfully in the days of Aristophanes. Mv Hiiffmpetto friends have dlsan pointed me," the famous poet declared in a recent Interview. "I expected their slogan to be some new, startling thing, and lo, it is old, old and familiar. "They remind me, my suffragette . friends, of a witness at a Boston Inquest. " 'Witness,' said the coroner, 'do you know what motive the deceased had in committing suicide?' " 'Yes, judge, your honor,' said the witness, pompously. 'Deceased told me Ms motive, sir." "The coroner, the court officers, everybody, looked interested. " 'What was then, deceased's motive?' said the coroner. " 'Why, your Honor, he said he wanted to kill himself,' was the reply."?Detroit Free Press. One on the American.?A native born American member of a party of four business men who often lunched together. took great delight in joking the others on their foreign birth. "It's all very well for you fellows to talk about what we need In this country," he said, but when you come to think of it you're really only intruders. Not one of you was born here. You're welcome to this country, of course, but you really oughtn't to forget what you owe us natives who open our doors to you." "Maybe," said an Irishman In the party thoughtfully. "Maybe. But there's one thing you seem to forget; I came into this country' wid me fare paid an' me clothes on me back. Can you say the same?"?Tlt-blts. Peevish Expert Witness.? "You'll have to send for another doctor," said the one who had been called, after a glance at the patient. "Am I so ill as that?" gasped the sufferer. "I don't know Just how ill you are," replied tho man of medicine; "but I know you're the lawyer who cross-examined me when I appeared as an expert witness. My conscience won't let me kilt you, and I'll be hangod if I want to cure you. Good-day."? Philadelphia Inquirer. <?hc Story Seller. HELD AT BAY. An Incident of Life In the Navy. BY H. D. SMITH. Captain U. S. Rjvenue Cutter Service. The elegant parlors of the Manhattan club were crowded with the elite and celebrities of New York, and; statesmen, diplomats, politicians, army and navy officers, with a number of distinguished foreigners, pronenaded througa the noble corridors of that model institution. It was the fashionable club hour, when the entire intricate machinery was in full swing, with lights gleaming. cut-glass sparkling, decanters circulating, with keen wit and piquant repartee rippling backwards and forwards like the subtle thrusts of polished Toledo blades. One of New York's leading celebrities, noted alike for his flights of oratory and biting sarcasm, for his wonderful executive ability, and finesse In the management of men, was surrounded by a circle of friends listening to a scathing denunciation from his lips regarding the all-absorbing subject of the day?the shooting of Barundia. Stroking his long, luxuriant blonde mustache nervously, while his keen eyes flashed with suppressed excitement, he continued his remarks, posing gracefully, with one hand resting on the carved mantel, which dark background brought out in bold relief his distingue form clothed in accurate full-dress costume. "Look at the Barundia case, gentlemen, view it in any light you please, and contrast it with the naval spirit of fifty?yes, thirty years ago. Then our flag was respected, and our men-of-war Invincible; now the world laughs at us. Why, the revenue cutter Grant, or even one of the vessels stationed at the battery, would have done better, and their commanders, I am confident, entertain too much love and respect for the flag to quietly pocket even an implied Insult offered to the colors they serve under. Look at Ingraham when he took Martin Kostza out of Smyrna, in the face of overwhelming odds. But when did your true American blue Jacket ever hesitate or stop to consider that point. It increased our prestige abroad, and Ingraham received the thanks of congress and a gold medal, while his spirited action was the comment of all Europe. Then compare Theoderus Bailey's action with the Barundla humiliation. It was in '56, that he had the old St. Mary, and went into Valparaiso, Chile. On his arrival he found that the Chileans had refused a just demand on the authorities made by our minister. Bailey sent on shore, and Informed the governor that unless the demand was complied with in twelve hours he would bombard the town, and proceeded at once to warp his vessel into position. Within six hours the demand was complied with. On the other hand, glance at the trenchant intervention of this country with Chile, Just after the inauguration of President Garfield, its audacious advance and humiliating retreat. It must be remembered by you all. Our magnetic leading spirit of diplomacy made a ludicrous pyrotechnic display on that occasion at the expense of the country's honor and dignity. Peace is too clearly our policy, and is especially a wise one when we -nn a roanortnhtp fnntlne to sustain a war. What guarantee has an American citizen that his person is safe, once he departs from the shores of his native land? The very name of America has become a byword and a reproach. We are a nation of money grabbers, and as such are degenerating every day?" "Excuse me, senors, for interrupting you;" and a tall, finely formed, dark complexioned gentleman, with a military and distinguished bearing, bowed to the group, who courteously bade him welcome to their circle. The speaker was a Cuban, there was no r. '.^taking that fact, and that he was a gentleman was assured from his being a guest within the exclusive parlors of the aristocratic club. "Pardon me, gentlemen, but having heard a portion of the conversation, I would like to crave the privilege of relating an Incident involving the flag of your country, which I can vouch for. And then, if you do not agree with me that the Wrtlal ardor and old-time spirit wnicn nas enabled this wonderful country to electrify the world with her victories, exists as strong as ever, requiring but an affront or an emergency to call forth the latent power, then, gentlemen, I will acknowledge myself beaten, but not convinced. While I talk, try these cigars. You cannot duplicate them in this great city." He used excellent English, with a barely perceptible but pleasant type of accent, while his agreeable, courtly manner won for him the bonhomie of the gentlemen, who politely accorded him the seat of honor within their midst. "The collapse of the Cuban struggle for independence left that fair Isle in a state bordering on chaos, while a veritable reign of terror was inaugurated by the representatives of the Spanish government. Refugees of all classes were anxiously seeking opportunities to leave the unhappy country where life and property were constantly in leopardy. "Among the fugitives who were specially sought for was one who had borne a prominent part In the struggle as a general In the patriot army. Through trusty friends in Havana, he had managed to elude the vigilance of various scouting parties who were constantly scouring the country, until, rendered desperate by anxiety and exposure, the soldier risked all, entered the city in disguise, taking refuge with an old and trusted friend. But the trail was becoming warm, secret agents and police spies were constantly on the qui vive, rendering it morally certain that discover and ruin, with the penalty of death, and a short shift at that, wouiu De meieu ?ui u> buth the general and his friends. "But how to leave the island was a problem that the hunted man and those interested in his welfare strove In vain to solve. Every outlet was guarded, constant watch kept upon all out-going vessels, and escape from the fate slowly but surely hemming him in seemed all but hopeless. "The arrival of a large American passenger and mail steamer awakened fresh hopes in the breasts of the general's friends, sharpening their resources, and encouraging hopes that had well nigh perished. "The steamer had reached her moorings safe beyond the fro^vnlng walls and sloping ramparts of the dreaded Moro Castle, the modern Bastlle of the new world. From the huge escape-pipe steam was hissing, an excited, animated throng were bustling to and fro, with boxes, bales, trunks and packages being hoisted in and out at both forward and after hatchways. "In the midst of the confusion and seeming disorder reigning on the broad deck of the steamer, a pecullarahnnoH ho* wnr Rwune on board, and at once lowered down the hatchway to the between decks. "Sailors are a strange combination of the grave and gay, the superstitious mixed with an irrepressible vein of recklessness pervading their nature and moods. "The sight of that box had Its effect upon the working gang at once?the news quickly circulating that a corpse had been received for transportation to New York, creating In Jack's mind a strong feeling of repugnance. They at once determined to wait upon the captain, for the purpose of noting a respectful protest against taking the uncanny freight. "The opportunity for the general's friends to free their long-suffering, half-suffocating comrade from his cramped and narrow quarters was not all that could have been desired, for gentlemen, you have perhaps surmised that the inmate of the metallic coffin, enclosed In the cumbersome box, was the Cuban refugee. "Yes, It had required fully that amount of covering, in addition to forged certificates and sworn statements, to circumvent the officials and elude the sharpness of their arguseyed agents. All breathed freer when the lumbering burden was safely deposited beneath the rustling folds of the American flag; but ere It was all accomplished the thunder of the sunset gun aroused the echoes of the harbor, announcing the close of day, and darkness follows closely In that low latitude. "The air was stifling, hot to suffocation, and Inside the box, sparsely but deftly bored with small breathing holes, it must have been something horrible for the Inmate to endure, realizing as he did that a hitch had occurred somewhere. "The gleam from a few hanging lanterns suspended from the deck beams threw out a dim, uncertain light, but sufficient to reveal to the few sailors and hangers on all that was transpiring. "A hasty whispered consultation, the cracking of splitting timber, a few resounding blows, and the longsuffering general, wet through with perspiration, faint and exhausted, was assisted to leave his friendly but somewhat grotesque hiding-place. "A s-.nothered exclamation, the echo of retreating footsteps In the surrounding gloom, was sufficient to announce to the general and his friends that his Identity had been discovered. "A consultation was at once sought with the master of the steamer, to whom tne situation was ontsny uui energetically explained. He was a bluff and typical American sailor, one who had seen service under your Incomparable Farragut, and knew well the odor of burned gunpowder. He was jealous of the honor of his flag, the rights and protection Its broad folds represented, and his answer was what might have been expected from a man of his stamp. Protection was asked for and granted, the master concluding the Interview by stating: 'As long as I remain alive and am able to defend you, you may rely upon my best efforts.' "The general, accompanied by two' of his friends, were now turned over to the care of the chief mate, who had been summoned to the private cabin of the master of the mall steamer.. It was impossible for the Cubans to return on shore; all were now Implicated, and nought but a change of abode to the shores of Columbia would save them from the doom of an ignominious death, meted out by the baffled and irate bloodhounds of the law. "That trouble would ensue ere the steamer was permitted to leave the harbor was more than probable, and no time was lost In placing the! Cubans In as secure a retreat as could well be devised. "The after part of the lower hold contained a number of solid, compact boxes filled with sugar, requiring all the strength and skill of trained stevedores to move and arrange them. A space was broken out sufficiently large to hold the three refugees, while above and on each side they were securely barricaded by solid tiers of the hnvou Tn frnnt lnv n nnrrnw open space, that would admit of the passage of but one man at a time. Three Winchester breeehloading rifles with plenty of ammunition were placed in the hands of the Cubans, who were bade to be of good cheer. "But a short time elapsed ere a large, heavy boat filled with soldiers pulled alongside. An officer, booted and spurred, confronted the master, and the Jnstant surrender of the general and party was demanded in no gentle terms. He was told in much the same manner by the square-shoul uereu seaman inai me uemuuu tuuiu not be entertained for a moment. The persons in question were passengers on board, had paid a stipulated sum to be landed in New York, and the company whom he represented would not sanction the breaking of a compact on his part. "Threats and expostulations availed nothing; the oiiicer hesitated to proceed to extreme lengths, gazed about him with perplexity, twirled his mustache, and withdrew to report and receive further instructions. "In the meantime, the officers of the American steamer were by no means line. i nc |iui .ti , ? 1111 u. uuic >i um the master, hastened on shore, routing out the American consul, to whom the situation was explained. The chief officer had cast off the freight lighters, closed the. cargo ports, triced up the gangway ladders, doubled the watch, and screwed on three lines of hose to the boilers. Scarcely had that energetic officer completed his arrangements when the rattle and rasping of a chain was heard astern, and the huge proportions of a Spanish ironclad, was plainly discernible. " 'We have two little four-pounders for sienal nurnoses.' remarked the master to his chief mate, as they watched the man-of-war 011 their quarter, 'but that fellow is too many guns for us. Ha! there is the splash of oars; a force from the land is approaching. It begins to look serious for all hands. Hoist our ensign, sir, and let every man stand firm to his station.' "The stars and stripes flapped and rustled lazily in the languid midnight air of the tropics, but the sight of the I _. ... ... . bunting flying aiort, even at tnat unusual hour, added to the enthusiasm of the men, who had manned the side, peering down at three boats which were but a short distance from the mooring buoys. "The captain of the port, his assistant, and a platoon of soldiers, were closing In on the vessel, when they were hailed by the chief officer, and ordered to lay on their oars. A parley ensued, and a formal demand was made for the Immediate surrender of the rebel soldier and his sympathizers, ?all of which was curtly refused. " 'Deliver the rebels to us peaceably, captain, or we'll come on board and take them,' was the angry re Joinder. " 'Come at your peril. This is an American ship, the American flag: Is flying: over her, and, by the Lord Harry, I'll defend It against every Spanlard you can muster!' roared the master. losing his temper. 'Stand by your hot water cocks below there, and let them have It full tilt at the word. Get lumps of coal and old grate-bars, another squad of you. and knock the bottom out of the first boat that attempts to come alongside.' "The authorities were evidently nonplussed, and were soon In a heated consultation. The officers of the Ironclad, hearing the excited voices, quietly hove short, lessening the distance from the steamer very percept1L'" ?U"A nf. hor hntrA lUiy, W111IC 11IC 1I1UUU.U V/? ..W. ..Mgv guns, and glitter of small arms as the sentries paced to and fro, came out sharply distinct In the brilliant moonlight "The outlook for the unarmed steamer was anything but reassuring. There were many anxious glances exchanged, but no such thought as submitting to the demands of the armed force was for a moment entertained. "A boat from the Ironclad dashed alongside the lumbering barge containing the captain of the port, who accompanied the naval officer on board, probably for the purpose of holding a council of war. "The guard boats pulled slowly around the American steamer, keeping a sharp lookout, while rumors of what was transpiring on the water had spread rapidly through the city, resulting In lining the harbor front with a noisy, excited, jostling throng, shouting, 'Death to the Yankees!' and anxious for hostilities to commence. "Time passed on; the Cubans in their hot, stifling stronghold were kept apprized of what was passing without, but it was not deemed prudent for them to leave their cramped and dls agreeable quarters. "Daybreak began to redden the eastern horizon, and with the first glimmer of daylight the master of the American steamer was seen standing In the maln-rigglng, his long glass levelled, scanning closely the blue expanse seaward. Long and anxiously he looked, while the tired and sleepy crew stood to their quarters, wondering what new move was afoot, and how it would all end. "The glistening rays of the sun flashed out a good morning, reflecting merrily from the polished accoutrements and gleaming muskets of the soldiery, and as the smoke of the sunrise gun from the ramparts of the castle floated slowly to leeward, signs of activity were discernible on the deck of the Spanlsn ironc. .a. *rne notes 01 a bugle and a hoarse hall cam? floating across the water: 'Give up those prisoners upon the next demand of the the proper officer, or we'll blow a hole through you!' and with the word down clashed a half-port, the muzzle of a rifled gun was brought to bear on the quarter of the steamer, while the movements of the gun's crew as they fell Into their places at quarters were not lost upon the defiant handful of men who lined the rail of the merchant ship. "Back came the captain of the port, I Win Knsvfl U-Klln fViCk Mil nf o rtrjuiiuus "10 uaigc, muiv n?w * second bugle call from the frigate swung all boats outward from the davits. The rattle of arms and gleam of cutlasses were apparent along her otherwise silent decks. " 'They are going to press us hard this time, sir,' exclaimed the mate, as he watched every move. 'Shall we give them the hot water first?' "The American master shut up the joints of his glass with a vicious snap, while a faint trace of a grim smile flickered for a moment around the corner of his well-shaped mouth. " 'Do anything?parley, fool, or fight 'em for twenty minutes longer, and Uncle Sam will relieve us of all further responsibility by taking a hand in this matter. Look there.' "And pointing seaward, a steamer was made out heading for the harbor. A torrent of black smoke rolled from her double and raking smokestacks; a small cataract of foam rolled oft from either side of the sharp cutwater, while aloft, the taunt spars, square yards, and fluttering penant stamped the strantrer as a vessel of war. A ball of bunting- ran rapidly aloft, and as the folds flew out clear on the morning breeze, the weary watchers on board the mall steamer could not repress a hoarse cheer of triumph and delight. "The Spaniards had discovered the near approach of the United States vessel, which had the efTect of staying proceedings, although the sailors and marines of the ironclad were already filing into their respective boats. "Into port came the cruiser, with ports down, guns run out, men at quarters, and boarding nettings triced up. The hail of the Moro was answered, but the speed of the ship was not slackened until she ranged along the side of the Spanish vessel, the two crews glaring at each other along the muzzles of their respective batteries, while the officers saluted by raising their caps. The Cuban general and his friends, gentlemen, were safe, and ten minutes later, on the quarter-deck of the mall steamer, they met and were introduced to the commanding officer of the American man-of-war, Commander William B. Cushing, one of the most gallant spirits that ever held a naval commission. "When the purser went on shore to seek the consul, that official at once sent a cipher dispatch to Washington; it was repeated at Key West, and ten minutes later Commander Cushing was using all the steam he could raise to reach Havana in time. It was the kind of work he delighted in, for the man was absolutely withc*t fear, and would not, in my opinion, have hesitated one moment as to the necessity of engaging the Spanish vessel in the harbor of Havana had necessity required. But the huge, unwieldy craft found it convenient to shift her anchorage before piping her crew to breakfast; the captain of the port and his escort pulled rapidly on shore; the rabble slunk nimbly out of sight: while the Americans, with the consul, a number of officers from the cruiser, and the three Cubans, sat down to a ' sumptuous repast, specially ordered by the plucky master. "Now, gentlemen, inasmuch as I was the Cuban general, and I owe my life to the courage and determination of my American friends, you will pardon me for differing with the sentiment that, as a race, you. are degenerating or lacking the spirit of your forefath prs. Proud as I am to have Cuba for my home, I would fflve all I possess to claim this beautiful land as that of my birth, as I already do by adoption." Jttiacrttancous Reading. DEBT OF THE CONVICT. i _____ What Ha Owed to Society, and His View of It. A man who had committed a crime dome years ago, and who had escaped from prison, was rearrested in Kansas i City the other day and taken back to I serve his unexpiated sentence, says the I Kansas City Journal. He had lived an exemplary life here and elsewhere for years, and on the eve of his departure for the scene of his offense he remarked, "It's tough to have to go back to Jail after living a decent life for years." The man was only half right In his view of the matter, but his view Is that of a great many persons, both In and out of Jail. Very frequently we hear of prisoners complaining of Jail fare and the lack of conveniences in connection with their imprisonment. Yet there Is something of the Impudent, if not of the ludicrous in a man who has offended against society complaining of treatment which is much more considerate than his own treatment of that same society. Modern criminology represents an incalculable advance upon the old Mosaic law, and yet there was a profound psychology In the exaction of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. The Mosaic is simply the Golden Rule in another form. The Golden Rule bids us do as we would be done by. The Mosaic law did to people as they did to others. It embodied the elemental law of compensation, retribution and restitution. and no new dispensation* can enureiy abrogate the principle in theory or even in practice. So that it was not entirely "tough" in the sense that it was unjust for this man to be compelled to pay his debt to society. We have not very materially improved, in theory, upon the so-called barbaric tribes which exact reparation and restitution, whereever possible, from those who offend against the rights of person or property. Civilization locks up a thief for a certain length of time, but the person who has been despoiled of his property rarely recovers it, and the idea of restitution does not enter into our theory of punishment. In punishing the guilty we punish the innocent family of the culprit, and appropriate all his labor for the benefit of the state. Neither the victim of the crime nor the family of the guilty one gets any benefit from our system of punishing offenders. But there is a glimmering of justice In Insisting upon the full payment of the obligation to society, and with this explanation all concerned must be satisfied. Certainly the guilty party has no valid complaint to make, for if there is any lesson in good citizenship it is that of present loyalty to all the claims which society has upon tne cuizen, plus the payment of all back debts. The moral statute of limitations never runs in favor of a criminal, and not until the last farthingr of obligation has been discharged may he dare to look society in the face, and say that any treatment is "tough" which compels him to expiate his sin. Even then the honest man, who has not yet yielded to temptation, and who has done his duty toward his fellow men, has an immensely stronger claim to their consideration. Pushed to Mosaic extremities, this would discount sincere repentance, If not entirely disregard it, and this la where the modern dispensation Is an improvement on inexorable exaction of equivalents. The Mosaic law was justice, but It was justice unbandaged. Modern justice has her eyes shut, theoretically, but tempers her decrees with mercy. So long as men commit crimes there must be expiation. The old way failed to stop crime and the new way has not prevented the multiplication of criminals, but the new way is infinite^T* Atw /\n Via oi/Vo nf ltlnH. iy ucucr. ii wo en v/u ui? omv v?*. ??..?? ness, if we feed and house our prisoners better than they are fed and housed when at liberty, in the majority of instances the mistake does credit to our hearts, if not to our heads. When men were hanged for scores of offenses the gibbet was never idle, but the palatial prisons of today must not be considered in any sense palliations of crimes. Society demands its own today Just as in the days of Moses, though in a different way. No man has any right to call the enforcement of the demand "tough." It is for society to complain when payment is evaded. That is the only "tough" feature of the case. THE WICKEDEST MAN. Most Successful Villains Are Generally Most Plausible. The successful villain commonly depends for his success upon some charm of manner, some trick of making himself agreeable to others. Titus Oates' body was as Ill-favored as his mind. God had marked Titus Oates In very truth, and nobody was wise enough to beware. He had already been prosecuted for perjury, the first necessity of his being, before he came forth as the champion of the Protestant truth. Once upon a time he was chaplain In the navy. He had been expelled from that office, In those rough days not an easy thing to be done. But, besmirched as he was, he was still thought good enough to send honorable men to the scaffold. In truth, it is Impossible to read his evidence in thfese trials without admiring his pertinacity. When he had once made a charge nothing said or done by others could persuade him to surrender it. Prisoner after prisoner declared that he had never set eyes upon Oates. Oates cared not a Jot. If the prisoner knew not him, he knew the prisoner, and could swear to him without hesitation or uncertainty. Moreover, the dog had a sense of the picturesque. He would tell you where he had met his victims, whom in truth he had never seen, what taverns they frequented and what they liked to drink. When he was compassing the ruin of Marshall, who swore that he knew him not, he played upon the court with a lively fancy. "I now recollect something more," says he. "I remember Mr. Marshall was present when Father Hitchcock and Father Howard and Conyers, the Benedictine monk, were mere present anout tne laying or a wager whether or not the king should eat any more Christmas pies, and this Benedictine monk, Conyers, did say he should not, and another gentleman said that he would and this gentleman, Marshall, did go halves with Conyers that he would not." What could an innocent man say in refutation of such a story that would carry conviction to a hostile court? Thus Oates triumphed; and as he triumphed for the moment, so he triumphed in the end. He laughed loudest, because he laughed last. He carried the burden of his legs and his murders as lightly as a flower, or, If a flower could not come Into the presence of Titus Oates, as lightly (shall we say?) as a cabbage. The fine of ?100,000 levied upon him could not be paid, and If It were meant to keep him under lock and key for life it availed not He was presently enlarged, married a ricn widow, was pensioned?neaven knows for what services!?by Dutcn William, and died as he was born a pestilent fellow, driven out by the Baptists, whose sect he would fain have Joined. He was perhaps the wickedest man who has ever walked upon the earth.?Blackwood's Mazazine. Gave Him One Gueae.?He was a fine type of the old southern colonel, the fiery scion of a race of cavaliers. Also, he was exceedingly wrathy. He had Just received a letter from a man, 'a low soht of puhson, suh, I assuah you," which displeased him Immensely, and he was debating inwardly hov best to convey to his vulgar correa pondent an adequate expression of his (the colonel's) opinion of him. But his stenographer was a lady. The colonel snorted, made two or three false starts, and finally dictated: "Sir: My stenographer, being a lady, cannot transcribe what I think of you. I, being a gentleman, cannot think it. But you, being neither, will readily understand what I mean."? Pittsburg Press. i i j Just as $ | Good as | \ The Stieff j t i 2 * Is getting to be one of the * n great talking points for y 4 many dealers and agents. 9 It's a great advertisement a l for the artistic Stleff v 1 Piano, but we feel sorry 5 V for the fellow who thinks I # he Is getting Just as good ? when he buys the other ^ I piano. A V Buyer, don't be fooled into taking the piano said * A to be Just as good as the a Stleff. Get the artistic 5 C Stleflt and you will have y 9 the Best piano made with Sout running any risk. A WRITE TODAY i I ? i c 7 j Chas. M. Stieff ? Manufacturer of the c Artistic Stieff, Shaw, and ? jj Stieff Self-player Pianos j ? 80UTHERN WAREROOM. ^ ft 5 W. Trade St. ? Charlotte, N. C. j f C. H. WILMOTH, X C Manager. f Mention this paper. j Checks for Cotton Will Be Gashed By This Bank FREE OF CHARGE For Its Friends and Customers No Matter On What Point ... Drawn ... The Bank of Clover, OIjOVER, s. o. W. Brown Wylie, John E. Carroll, President Sec. A Tress. VnDTOTTI? UnWTTMTWT WflRITS i uim r muti uiun uuijju i h unuu YORKVILLE, 8. C. Anything In Marble or Granite LET US HAVE YOUR ORDERS NOW FOR ANY KIND OF WORK IN MARBLE OR GRANITE. WE CAN PROBA-BLY FILL YOUR REQUIREMENTS FROM OUR LARGE STOCK OF DESIGNS. IF NOT WE WILL BE PLEASED TO SHOW YOU OTHER DESIGNS THAT WE CAN FURNISH OR WILL MAKE WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR DESIGN. A Letter or Postal Card will bring you Information by the first mall. A better way Is for you to visit our yard and let us show you what we have. YORKVILLE MONUMENT WORKS. iW Anything in Marble or Granite. M. L. Carroll. C. W. Carroll. CARROLL BROS. "Buggy Tops" Just received some new Buggy Tops ?both Leather-Quarter and all Rub ber, mat we can nt your eu^y wiui. Winter time is coming, and you will need one on your open buggy, or may be your old top is about worn out. Come in and see us about one. If you want to see some Buggies that are up to date, come in and look at our stock. We have just received some dandles. CARROLL BROS. iW Your business correspondents judge you by your Stationery. Use The Enquirer kind. 35QQQQS6MS 11 THE NATIONAL IINII STARTED 6 fnlnmhia Mabinn a uuiuiiiuiu irauniiitj u Per Cent Rock Hill Record. The Columbia S made a big: stir abou in that city offering money at 6 per cenl house receipts. Tha printed a Ion? local dilated editorially on lumbla Record did t Of course Rock Hi in many other ways, Union Bank of this cent money out to everybody else mor ago. It was the fir State to do this, l, which other banks hi to adopt. The National Unl money at 6 per cen others hankers in 1 could not be done, ai and most progresslv ever took, for Its commenced to gro bounds?and It is st The people of thli predated the libera institution. WIRELESS 7FOR SEPTEMBER NOW READY PARTIAL LIST OF CONTENT8. Wireless for Railway Service; constant communication with a moving train successfully demonstrated. ILr rrorrn a mT7?T\ UUOl IW\ X MUXJ, Vessels' 2,000 Mile Wireless Message. Latest Wireless Equipment Wireless quicker than the Telephone. Another Long Distance Record. Rapid Growth of the Telephone Business. Governments using Wireless. Wireless Praised for Efficiency. Wireless Plants for China's Army. Wireless a Convenience. Another Proof of Success for Wireless. Wireless Forest Protection. Wireless In Inmost China The Wireless Spark., (Poem) The Wireless North of Arctic Circle. Wireless Station for Capital Roof. Facts from a New York Broker's Letter. Six months Development of the Wireless Telegraph. Mans Ship's wireless at Age of 15. Wireless Healthful; the experience of a Pioneer. Wireless Operator contradicts the Rumors that Wireless is Injurious to Health. Wireless has come to stay; the Wireless telegraph business is rapidly developing, and wireless Is the llvest wire In the Investment field today; wireless stock has advanced 200 per cent and more In the past year. A copy of the September issue of Wireless will be sent free as a sample to any adult upon request Address WIRELESS, P. O. BOX 606, CHARLESTON, S. C. Wf Send your orders for all kinds of \ Job Printing to The Enquirer. No. 9533. 1 TREA8URY DEPARTMENT. | Office of Comptroller of the Currency. Washington, D. C., Sept 7, 1909. Whereas, by satisfactory evidence presented to the undersigned, it has been made to appear that "THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF SHARON," 1 In the Town of Sharon, In the County ' of York, and the State of South Carolina, has compiled with all of the ' provisions of the Statutes of the < United States, required to be complied with before an association shall be authorized to commence the bust- 1 ness of Banking: Now therefore, I, Willis J. Fowler, j Deputy and Acting Comptroller of the ' Currency, do hereby certify that "THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF SHA- 1 RON," in the Town of Sharon, in the County of York, and State of South , Carolina is authorized to commence the business of Banking as provided in Section Fifty-one hundred and sixty-nine of the Revised Statutes of the United States. In testimony whereof, witness my hand and seal of office, this seventh day of September, 1909. i [Seal] WILLIS J. FOWLER, 1 Deputy and Acting Comptroller of i the Currency. i Sept 10 f.t Nov. 10. < W. O. W. Receipt Books at The Enquirer Office at 30 cents each. 4. p-^-r 5^. j p A -5 REBl | TYPEW_ J ALL M 5 WE BEG TO ANNOUNCE TO ? BUYERS THAT WE ARE NOW I S REBUILT TYPEWRITERS OF A: V ARE MOST ATTRACTIVE. AMC ? NISH ANY OF THE FOLLOWING f Nos. 2, 6, 7 and 8 REMINGTO Nos. I, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 SMTT A miers Nos. 2 and 4, we can furnis 2 Trl-chrome Ribbon Attachments. Nos. 2, 3 and 5 OLIVERS?Vis 9 Nos. 1, 2 and 3 UNDERWOOD ? Nos. 1 and 2 L. C. SMITH'S? f Nos. 1 and 2 MONARCHS?Vis Nos. 1, 2, 4 and 5 DENSMORE ( Nos. 3, 4, 10. 23 and 24 FOX?' m writing with either solid or bl-chrc Also any of the following: P WILLIAMS, NEW CENTURY, HAJ L CAGO, PITTSBURG VISIBLE, B^ y These machines we offer In twc f CLASS AA?For Direct Com pet A ?The machines In this class are i X spect, every worn piece is renewed, V platen roll, newly nickeled and ena are made as goods as a NEW ma S equal to NEW machines in Durablli will save you $20 to $30. Rubber metal cases. J CLASS A?The machines In th I L dealers throughout the country offei 2 are the product of honest workma V pearance and most excellent in poll ed to meet the demand for high-gri ? ers. They are reflnished, renickele X new roller, new ribbon, adjusted an V bottom. Rubber covers with all ma S* If you want to buy a TYPEW and tell us what you want. We ci order and Our Prices will please you Besides REBUILT TYPEWRIT ? Elt PAPERS in various weights, J PAPERS, TYPEWRITER RIBBON I L. M. Gri TrTYTT V )N BANK l PER GENT MONEY Big Fuss Over Six Money tate on Tuesday t one of the banks r to lend farmers . I on cotton wareit paper not only article on It, but ii. Ana me <-uhe same thing. 11 loads in this as a , lot the National city started 6 per the farmers aod e than two years * bank in the lo it set a pact- g ave gradually had 4 Ion Bank offered t at a time when the State said it id it was the best e step this bank business at once w by leaps and :1U growing, i region have aplity of this fine J. C. WILBORN ... RB AT a BMTATXi LIST YOUR PROPERTY WITH MB IF YOU WANT TO SELL? ? FOR SALE ? J. W. Boyd Property?106 acres; joins William Blggere. M. 8. Carroll?113 3-4 acres; at ^ Beersheba church 12.100. 1 1031-2 acres. Eoenezer township; level land; 4-room residence; one tenant house; 2 miles Newport station; a beautiful farm. ~ W. E. Land?60 acres; 6 miles of Yorkvllle. 8. w: MoKnight Home?93J acres; 6 miles Yorkvllle; a beautiful residence of 7 rooms; new, large barn; good land. I want a quick offer. 4 The Store Room and Residence of Geo. W. Sharer, Yorkvllle. The residence of Mrs. Drakeford. 100 Acres?Property of R. E. Melton, near C. C. Hughes; a level farm. 113 Acres?M. 8. Carroll home, near 4 Beersheba; good dwelling; land In 1 high state of cultivation. Cheap. 200 Acres?C. V. Milles land, 1 mile Yorkvllle limits; X story dwelling. Land lies well on Plnckney Ferry road. Fine wood land. Prioe $6,300. 130 Acres?Property of Mrs. 8. J. Barry; 2 good dwellings; 46 acres of fresh land; 100 acres In cultivation?< miles Yorkvllle. 125 Acres?At Newport, on Southern, R. R., near Roek Hill. A nice residence?good land?at depot, school, etc. A nloe location and good farm. 740 acres?J. E. Lowry plantation; 8 miles Rock Hill; 6 of York villa Land lies level?very fine farm. , 187 acres?Adjoin lands of 8. L. Miller. Price $10 per acre. 200 Acres?Marshall CampbeT place In Bethel; a beautiful home and farm. Price $6,600.00. The beautiful cottage and 1) acres of land; property of W. H. Whlsonant . In Hickory Grove. -w 585 Acres Beautiful, level land. In Clay Hill section. 445 Acres?Nearly 200 acres In fine bottoms. In Bullock's Creek township; very cheap. Property of E. M. and Jas. E. Bankhead. W. B. Keller Place?Two miles of Yorkvllle on King's Mountain road. | 201$ Acres. It Is a beautiful home and a fine farm. Look at It and make me an offer. Walter McElwee Lot?Near Graded School, Yorkvllle, 100x826 feet A. fine lot M 270 acres, $2,700. 286 acres, ^ 16,000, 5 miles from Rock Hill. 61| 1 acres, W. J. Ingle property. 276 a/tPAs nnor P P UllffhAfl 141 KAfM. near C. C. Hughes. 100 acres, J. M. 3eagle place. I will sell 520 acres, in town of Uriah. 171 acres, J. J. Scoggins place. COME AND TELL ME YOUR WANTS?IT WILL PAY YOU. I HAVE BARGAINS FOR ALL. J. C. WILBORN. FOR SALE. THE Hurt house, Lincoln St Newly built painted, 8 rooms, 2-story, large lot barn, cow shed, on city water line. Price reasonable and will make liberal terms to suit purchaser, 3ne to fifteen years. Will rent for 112.50 month. See me. W. R. CARROLL 61 f tf. f 4.^.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.^ JIL T =- | ^ RITERS | . PROSPECTIVE TYPEWRITER X N POSITION TO SELL THEM NY MAKE AT PRICES THAT ? >NG OTHERS WE CAN PUR- * IN REBUILT MACHINES: f NS. jj H PREMIERS. In Smith Pre- * % ih you either the Bl-chrome or * ible Writing. S. Visible Writing. 4 Ible Writing. N S. J rhe last two numbers are visible > >me ribbon attachments. m IEM. SHOLES, FAY SHOLES, VfMONDS, MANHATTAN, CHI- 3 lRLOCK, royal standard. ' > classes, as follows: Ition With Brand New Machines m m thoroughly rebuilt In every re- y ^ new key tops are put on, new meled, restrlped. In short they A chine In every respect and are ? ty and Appearance. Our Prices J Covers with all machines. No # I I lis class are such as typewriter 4 as "thoroughly rebuilt." They y nship, highly attractive In ap it of service. They are design- j iue, reasuriaoie pricea ijrjiewrii d, new transfers, new key-tops, y d aligned. The prices are rock ,< ' lnes. No metal cases. A RITER of any make, write us J in get what you want in short V ERS, we also sell TYPEWRIT cut to sizes desired; CARBON y S, Etc. st's Sons ! X, s. c. $ * J* 4* at* "J* "f* *1* 4* 4*