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HumMOttJS fJfpMtlMttt. TOM SHANDLER'S SMARTNESS. . Many years ago a physician advertised that he could cure all 'diseases to which humanity is heir. Tom Shandler, one of those wouldbe-smart chaps sometimes met with, happened to see the notice in the paper, and resolved to have some fun at the doctor's expense, and make a few dollars in the bargain. Tom called on him. "What can I do for you ?" asked the physician. "You advertise that you can cure all kinds of disorders." "So I can, I believe." "Well, I've got two complaints that trouble me sorely. I've a great habit of telling falsehoods, without there being the slightest' excuse for my so doing." "A very bad disorder, but not incurable," saia tne pnysician, siowiy ana graveiy, Keeping his eye upon Tom. "The other is a worse complaint?entire ! loss of memory. Now, doctor, I'll bet you I five dollars you can't cure either." "Well, sir, I'll bet I can. Please deposit the money with me; I'll give you a receipt for it, and also a paper stating that in case I fail I'm to refund you five dollars, with the addition of a like amount of my own." Tom agreed, placed the money in the physician's hands, received in return a receipt and agreement, and then departed, but promising to call the next day to take the first step toward being cured of his great afflictions. The following morning Tom was shown into the physician's study. The doctor produced a box of pills, looking black and sticky, saying as he did so: "These are perfectly harmless, my young friend. You must take two of them at ouce, and if they don't cure you, you'll have to come to me again in a few days. Now open your mouth, and I'll drop them in for you." Tom obeyed, and the doctor placed two pills in Tom's capacious mouth. He, like many others when taking pills, bit into them, they stuck to his teeth, and he made a very wry face. "They taste fearfully nasty, doctor," .he cried; and quickly added, "I'm darned if they ain't made of cobbler's wax." "You are cured," said the M. D. "I never in ray life witnessed such a quick recovery. You are certainly cured of lying, for you told the truth at ouce about the composition of the pills; and of bad memory also, for if you ever forget the manner in which I've treated you, call on me, and I'll refund you five dollars. I guess your memory, in future, will not be so bad but that you'll remember it.'* "Doctor, you're a trump. You've played your game well. Shake hands ; for I can't help admiring your smartness, though it has cost me a five-note." "Yes, my friend, you've burnt your fingers. Stay away from the fire in future," said the M. D., sententiously. Tom did as he was advised. He never again tried to play "smart" on any body. THE BEST COW. A pretty rich thing occurred at the establishment of Simpson not long since. Simpson used to be our milkman, and we attribute to him, in a great measure, our loss of confidence in humanity generally, and milkmen in particular. Mike Welsh had been recommended to Simpson as a fit man to assist in taking care of horses and cows ; so Mike was hired and placed in charge of this department. One morning, after Mike had been a month at the place, Simpson, who had made ready to start off with his milk-cart, said to him: "Mike, you may give the cows some oat meal this morning; and be sure you give my best milker an extra quantity." "The best milker, is it, sir ?" "Yes; you know the old cow that gives the most milk ?" "Bedad, I think I do, sir." "Well, you give her four quarts of the mash." "All right, sir, I'll do that same." On the evening of that day Simpson had occasion to go to the old wooden pump in the yard. He tried the handle, but it wouldn't work. The pump seemed to be entirely choked up. Finally he discovered that all the upper part was loaded witn sometmng very nearly resembling oat-meal mash. He called his man-servant. "Mike," said he, "what is the matter with this pump "The pump, is it, sir?" "Yes. How came this oat-meal mash in here?" "Sure, sir, I put it in meself." "Stupid blockhead! Why did you do that?" "It was yerself that told me, sir." "I?I told you to put it iu here ?" "Indade ye did, sir." "Why, you thick-headed rascal! what do you mean?" "Dou't be in a passion, master. Did ye not tell me to give yer best milker an extra quantity of the mash? and where, in all the world, I'd like to know, is the crathur that gives so much milk to yer cans as does this old pump?" The story leaked out, and added greatly to the distrust already entertained by Simpson's customers. A Pretty Good Story.?A boatman on the Mississippi river tells the following story : A poor chap was going down the river in a dug-out, aud had been informed of a certain locality called Rick's Bend, which was eighteen miles around, and in one place about a hundred yards across. He was advised to land at the narrow point and drag his craft over, but he passed the spot going down, without observing it, and padling on eighteen miles around, he struck it on the other side. Landing at once, he dragged his boat across, and went gliding along down with a light heart, till he came along within a few paces of the spot where he dragged across before. Thinking it was a new cut-off, he went ashore and tugged his boat over again. When he got back to the bend a second time, he sauntered around a little to stretch himself, and soon discovered an old newspaper, out of which he had taken his breakfast that morning. It was now about sundown, and as he I had paddled thirty-six miles without any flat- J tering progress, he scuttled his dug-out with a hatchet, buit a camp, and waited till next j day for a steamboat. /'nnootvf -nut.- T-? m Sir a ?Tliprp was n I JLllli AVlii/ 'Jli.il >.w ,? , bishop in Dublin who engaged a painter to I , make a large picture for the cathedral. The j subject chosen was the crossing of the Sea by j the Israelites. After a time the picture was j completed and hung in the cathedral, covered j by a heavy curtain, and a great crowd of peo- j pie assembled to see it unveiled. All faces were turned in expectation to the curtain. But lo! when it was drawn aside nothing could be seen but a vast expanse of water. In a rage, the bishop turned to the artist, and exclaimed: "I thought I asked you to paint a picture ! of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea!" "True for you; that's just it," said the painter. "But where are the Israelites ?" asked the indignant bishop. "They're gone over," said the painter. "Well, but where are the Egyptians ?" "They're gone under !" ? ? Fifty Cents on the Dollar.?During j the great collapse of 1857 a gentleman of j color kept a bank in a Western city. His in stitution was apparently in a sound condition, j but to be in fashion with the white folks, he I concluded to fail. One morning a man came and shook the door, but a voice inside re- j sponded "de bank is closed." But the man | replied that he had left a new pair of boots there the day before, and wanted them. The I sable financier opened the door softly, and throwing out one boot, remarked, "We is only | paying fifty cents on de dollar." tSF Stricken down in the prime of life is what a Missouri paper has to say of a man who died at the age of eighty. I MAmi's gcjrattmcnt. JOHNNIE'S REVENGE. Johnnie Clinton was a boy of about four i teen, whom every one loved and respected foi : his many ennobling qualities. His fathei | was once very wealthy, and Johnnie had ai indistinct recollection of large rooms, beau tiful furniture, and lovely, rare flowers, araoiq which his little golden-haired, gentle sister who had gone to be with God and the angels had wandered chasing the butterfly and hum ming bird, with childish delight. But Mr Clinton was dead now, and their riches hac taken to themselves wings and flown away and Johnnie and his pious mother went tc live in a pretty, but exceedingly small cottage in a plesaut village situated in the Valley ol Virginia. Here Mrs. Cliutou suppbrted herself and child by sewing, and managed to keep John nie pretty regularly at school. He loved hu mother and felt it was his duty to her and his Heavenlv Father to study hard to try and ? / y ? learn fast; and so he almost always stood at the head of his class. His teacher loved him, and he was a favorite with almost all o) his schoolmates. One evening, Johnnie came from schooi with flushed cheeks and brimming eyes, and seating himself at his mother's feet, laid hi: head, with its wealth of curls, upon her lap. "What is the matter with my boy !" Mrs Clinton said, as she passed her hand geutly over his bowed head. "Oh, mother, Alfred Winter overturned the ink on Mr. Crawford's bible and then told him I did it; and Mr. Crawford was sc angry, and told me he did not think I would do a thing and then deny it. But I will be avenged on Alfred?that I will. And Johnnie raised his head and looked al his mother with fierce, burning eyes. His mother laid her hand ou the Bible and said sadly and quietly: "'Vengeance is mine ; I will repay, saitb the Lord.' Remember that, my son." "Yes, mother, I will remember." There was a yearning for revenge in his dark eyes as he rose and kissed his mother And late that evening, Johnnie sat on the little stool and listened to her telling of his little sister, May, who was so meek and mild, "She was so patient during her long illness,' the mother said, as she brushed the tears from her eyes; "never complaining when the pain was so acute; but always said, 'God is verj good to take me to Himself iu heaven." "Oh, mother, how good she must have beeu." "Yes, my son, she was truly a child ir whom the love of Christ abounded." And Mrs. Cliuton folded up her work and laid it aside, saying as she did so : "' The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketl: away ; blessed be the name of the Lord for ever." With a good-night kiss and a "God bless you, my boy," Mrs. Clinton left Johnnie t( retire. His sleep was sweet that night, and in his dreams, little May came to him witfc angelic form on golden wings gleaming ir the moon-light. And as she brushed his head with one glittering wing, sang, "Dc good for evil, for it is the golden rule," and then soared away into earthly bliss. For several weeks, Johnnie attended school but Alfred was absent. The boys said his father had taken him home to assist on the farm. Mr Crawford was cold and distant tc Johnnie, Alfred having affirmed so positively he saw him overturn the ink. "Mother, I am avenged!" and Johnnie sprang in at the cottage door, throwing his cap into the air as he spoke. Mrs. Clinton looked up with a startled expression at his sudden entrance, while he went on talking raoidlv. "When I was coming from school I mel Alfred and he confessed the wrong he did me, for which I forgave him, in obedience tc the golden rule, as taught by little May in my dream. Alfred was so sorry he had told a falseheod, and I feel so glad that my revenge was better than if I had called him bad names or struck him. It is so much better to do good for evil!" The mother kissed her darling boy, and was happy in the possession of a child, whc amid teraptatiou, could so implicitly and -1 r..ll? _l ciieeriunjr uuvy uic guiucu iuic. ESCAPE FROM WOLVES. The Moravian Missionary Reporter relates the following interesting case : "Oue evening a little girl, eight years old was lying near the door of bor father's dwelling, when four wolves rushed in upon her, One seized her by the heaa, another by the shoulders, and two others by the legs, and carried her off. Her screams were heard, and the wolves were overtaken and forced to release the poor child, who was dreadfuly hurl by the teeth of the hungry beasts. The parents nursed the little sufferer, but could not heal her wounds. As they thought the child would die, they wished to get her out of the hut before she expired, for the Kaffirs feai to touch a dead body. Her father carried her to a great distance from her home, and laid her down near some trees, where no one could hear her groans, and left her to die. "As the poor little girl lay in this place she thought of the missionary, and knowing were he lived, said, T will try to creep to the house for he is kind ; he will not cast me out, She slowly moved with great pain over the rough places, and at length reached his dwelling. When he saw the bleeding child his heart was filled with pity. He heard her story, and counted fourteen wounds made by the teeth of the wolves. Laying the child upon his bed, he washed her wounds, put ointment upon and bound them up with linen. Day after day he watched her till she got well, While he nursed her he told her of that Saviour who had done more for her than he could do. When the marks were almost gone he asked her if she wished to go back to her parents. '0 no,' she said ; 'they cast me out; you took me in; I will stay with you.' "One day, as the missionary was walking near his home, he heard the voice of a chile engaged in prayer. He looked, aud soonsan the little stranger among some tall weeds praying to her Father in heaven. From this time he bad hopes that she was one of the lambs of Christ. How much had this little Kaffir girl to thank God for. If she had not fallen into the power of the wolves she mighl never have listened to the preaching of the gospel, and would have died iu her sins. The Camel and the M*ller.?Did you I ever hear the fable of the camel aud the mil ler? One night a miller was waked up by his camel trying to get his nose into the tent in rtftDl <Mif Unva " oqi/1 tlin r>nmol "I only want to put in ray nose." The miller made no objection. After awhile the camel asked leave to have his neck in, then hit fore feet; and so, little by little, it crowded in its whole body. This, as you may well think, was very disagreeable to the miller, and he bitterly complained to the forth-putting beast. "If you don't like it you may go," answered the camel. "As for me, I've got possession and I shall stay. You can't get rid of me now." Do you know what that camel is like j Bad habits; little sins. Guard against the first approaches, the most plausible excuses ; only the nose of sin. If you do not you are overpowered before you know it. False Shame.?Don't be ashamed, mj lad, if you have a patch on your elbow ; it is no mark of disgrace. It speaks well for youi industrious mother. For our part we would rather see a dozen patches on your clothes than to have you do a bad or mean action, oi to hear a profane or vulgar word proceed from your lips. No good boy will shun you because you do not dress as well as he does And if any one laughs at your appearance never mind it. Go right on doing your duty Fear God rather than man; love Him earlj and serve Him faithfully; and there shall b< laid up for you in Heaven treasures that fad( not away.?Little Watchman IftcMittjj ffl* the Jfabbatft. OONDUCTKD BY ItEV. ROHEIIT LATHAN. r ~ [Original. J r DARKNESS. _ j [t sometimes happens that Christians fall , into a dark and gloomy state of mind. Some , are brought near to the regions of despair. , They conclude either that they never have * been converted, or that if they ever were con: i verted, God has forsaken them, and all the ! grace they once possessed is gone. Either j | of these conclusions is calculated to fill the j mind with most distressing feelings. Those f; who have not passed through these valleys of spiritual darkuess, or seen others passing ' | through them, can form no conception of the * | agony which they, who do pass through them, I j suffer. It makes, in the expressive language I i of the Psalmist, all their bones to tell. It | j consumes the marrow of the bones, and quick1 ! ly turns the beauties of youth into the withf; erings of old age. | Why does God suffer any of' his people to I j fall into this state ? Doubtless, God has many , | an object in view in thus dealing with any of I his people, some of which we can discover, . j and others which are concealed from us poor ' j short-sighted creatures. We take it for ! granted that the conclusions to which these ' | individuals come, respecting their conversion, ) | and God's forsaking them, are both incorrect. I ; God never forsakes any of his people. A > j mother may forget her suckling child; but God never will forsake any of his people, t The conclusion that they never were couvert5 I *.A Jf. A/omllir iiin.-,rrnol "Vn /1/lllllf-. niflllV CU| 13 Cijuau y iiivunvvvi aiv/ v. w v? ^ w ....... j persons make a profession of religion that [ have no feligion at the time of making the profession, and never do have any religion ; but these hypocrites and self-deceived persous i rarely ever are troubled much about the sal vation of their souls. Some of this class, no ! doubt, are brought to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ; but the larger amount of them ? are never undeceived until they leave this i world and appear before the judgment seat of i God. Sometimes the coudition of the health and natural temperament of the individual has ' much to do in bringing on these gloomy states ( of the mind. Sickuess, in some persons, produces mental derangement; bad health pro[ duces a kind of partial derangement of the mind. The temperament of some is so pecu1 liar that they are liable to fall into a desponding state of the mind at almost any time. i The celebrated poet, Cowper, is an example, j He fell into a state of mind bordering on des| pair. For a long time he thought that he . was forsaken of God. and that there was no i hope of his salvation. He even went so far ' as to conclude that it was no use for him to | pray. Notwithstanding this, Cowper is the author of some of the most devotional lyrics written by any uninspired man. There is i nothing outside of the Bible that is more dei votional than the hymn commencing with the 1 words, "There is a fountain filled with blood." Another reason why God permits his peo, pie to fall into despairing states of mind, is i their sins. We may assume that sin is the cause of all our troubles. God's love for his people never falters, but the faith of good ; people often becomes very weak. They either conclude that they have strength enough to stand alone, or that God is not faithful to his , promises. Either of these conclusions is very i dishonoring to God, and to show his people I that they must live by faith, he suffers them to commence to sink beneath the waves of anxiety as he permitted Peter to commence to sink beneath the waves of Gallilee. The best evidence in the world of a good Chris, tian, is a heart conviction of sin, love for Jesus aud a desire to serve him. No doubt the Devil has much to do in producing these dark places through which good ( people are called to pass. Misery loves company. Satan is miserable, and he desires to , render the existence of every other creature miserable. Satan does everything he can to weaken our faith and produce despondency. I He uses every available means to produce j doubts and fears. He can effect nothing so . long as faith is strong and vigorous exercise ; remains. Faith weakened, and he has made a breach in the walls. If it be asked why does God permit Satan | to tempt his people, and thus grievously tor! ment them, we reply we do not kuow. Many _?. - things transpire in tne nisiory 01 every gwuu man that we cannot see for what they were s designed. Sometimes giving lis up into the hands of Satan are judgments ; at other times 1 they are only trials of our faith ; and some| times judgment and trial are combined. Whatever may be the orgin of these gloomy i states of mind, the duty of the individual, who is the subject of them, is clear. The Bible - must be read and studied, that light may be ? obtained, and God must be asked in prayer ! for guidance and direction, and especially for ! faith. Generally speaking, professed Christians have less of faith than of anything else, , and they need more of faith than of any other ; thing. Faith is a grace; that is, it is a gift of ! God. The power to accept Jesus as a Sa' viour, is a gift of God, and the power to rest ' upon Jesus, as the only Saviour, is the gift of > God. If our faith is weak, we must ask God r to strengthen it. As faith grows and strengI theus, gloom and sorrow and sadness flee ' away. Our Saviour said to the Jews of old, > "Ye will uot come to me that ye may have ' life." So it is with desponding souls. They will not come to Jesus, that they may have joy ^ and comfort. There is joy in the religion of t our Lord Jesus Christ. There is nothing but ! joy in it. Sin is a gloomy thing. The believer docs God dishonor when he makes hini, self sad. The unbelieving sinner should be . sad?he should be gloomy, yes, horribly afraid ; but the man whose sins are pardoned > iu the peace-speaking blood of the Lamb of God, should rejoice always. There is light, I ' life and liberty in believing ; but there is only J darkness, death and bondage in unbelief, i Let all who are sad trust in the Lord. Trials.?How many have been coached to i ,! hell in the chariots of earthly pleasures, while j ! others have been whipped to heaven by the j ' j rod of affliction ! ; If all men were to bring their misfortunes ! ;; together in one place, most would be glad to I | take his own home again, rather than take a 11 portion out of the common stock, i He who is made vain and covetous by j ; ! money, however honestly gotten, renders that j a curse to one, which was designed as a blessI ing to many, and drowns himself in the spring j which should have watered all around him. j r | "I have learned," said an aged mother in i > Israel, "to go directly to God with every1 trouble and every joy. He has invited me I to cast ray care upon Him, and why should I, 5 then, try to bear it all myself?" * j Tertullian saith : "If thou endurest wrong i I for Christ's sake, He is a revenger ; if sorrow, j 1 He is a comforter; if sickness, He is a physi- j ; cian ; if loss, He is a restorer; if life, He is a J > reviver." r! SOr If some men would only bear their own j i burdens without taking a part of others, they j ?: would come nearer fulfilling the law of Christ ( ! than they do. fpsccUaiwflits fUading, HOW SMIKES STOPPED CHEWING. Sraikes made up his mind to stop chewing ! He never was much of a chewer, anyhow, hi 1 said. He hadn't used tobacco but a few years 1 and rarely consumed more than an ounce pa j per in a day. But he feared the habit raigh ' get hold of him and become fixed, and if then i was anything that he abhorred it was to sei ! a man become u slave to a bad habit. Hi i had used the weed some, to be sure, but then ! had never been a time during the last tei I years when he could not stop at any moment ; But so long as he did not become habituatec to its use. did not care to stop. He coulc : break off at any minute, and it was a greai | satisfaction to feel so. Thomson, he thought was an abject slave to his pipe. He pitiec I lin/J oaan Thnmann t.rxj tf stop smoking several times, and fail ignomin iously every time he undertook it. Bui Smikes wanted to show his wife how easily h< could quit. So Monday morning he remarked carelessly to Samantha that he guessed he would stoj using tobacco. Samantha said she was glac of it, and added, impetuously, what she hac never said before, that it was a vile habit Smikesappeared a little nervous and confused when Samantha said this, and mumbled oul something about being glad he had never gol into it himself. In his agitation he pulled out his tobacco box, and was about to take a chew when he recollected himself, and plunged out of the front door, forgetting his umbrella, About half way to the office he met Jones, with whom he was having some business transactions. While they were taking the thing over, Smikes got a little enthusiastic, and he almost reached the ofiice before he noticed that he was rolling an uncommonly plump quid around his mouth like a sweet morsel. How it got there Smikes did not know. He puzzled over that little thing all the rest of the forenoon, aud at last he took it out of his mouth and threw it away, satisfied 'that he must have taken it while talking with Jones. Twice that afternoon Smikes took out his tobacco box and looked at it. Once he took off the cover and studied of the tobacco. It smelt so good that Sraikes felt impelled to remark to himself that it was the easiest thing in the world to stop chewing. He congratulated himself again and again that day thai he did not become entangled in the meshes ol the filthy vice, and he alluded to the matter three or four times that evening at the teatable, till Samautha marveled greatly at the firmness of Smikes. She had always heard she said, that it was a hard thing to leave off But Smikes had told her, and kept telling her, that it was "just as easy," and her rever ence for the virile strength and independence of character of Smikes giew like a gourd. That night Smikes had the nightmare. He thought that a legion of foul fiends had go1 him up in a corner of the backyard, and had rolled upon him a monstrous quid of "fine cut," as large around as a cart-wheel, and that they were trying to force it into hie mouth. Smikes struggled vigorously, and when Samautha shook him and asked what was the matter, his only reply was that "an) body could stop chewing, if he only made up his mind to." The next day Smikes was a little nervous He told every body who came in what a sirm pie thing it was to stop chewing. The third day he harped about it all day long. He told one man about it three different times, and when that much-informed individual ventured the opinion that he would be chewing again in less than a week, Smikes indignantly ejaa ulated: "Mr. Jenkins, when I make up my mind to a thing that is the last of it." TKo fnnrtb rlnv Smilras hparr? that nanin mile blossoms were sometimes used as a substitute for tobacco, and just out of curiosity he devoured a couple of ounces of them. He said to the druggist when he bought them that it was easy euough to stop the use of tobacco. On the fifth day, Smikes got sick. His nerves gave out. He snapped something at Samantha at the breakfast table, upset his inkstand, burnt his fingers poking some cinders out of the grate, and had no appetite foi dinner. That day the devil whispered to Smikes that tobacco was really beneficial to some temperaments. Smikes had a temperament ol the kind. The sixth day, Smikes felt like 8 murderer. He seemed to himself to have become transformed into a Modoc. His mouth was dry and parched. A stout, healthy-lookiug old gentleman came into Smikes' office that day. He was a great friend of Smikes', and as he drew forth his silver tobacco box and daintily shook out a small morsel of the pungent weed, Sraikee felt his mouth water. He remarked to Mr, Johnson that he had not chewed any for six days, and that he had refrained so long jusl to satisfy himself that any body could chew or leave it alone. He was fully satisfied that it could be done, but he rather thought that his was one of those temperaments that are really acted upon in a beneficial way by the temperate use of tobacco. Mr. Johnson said he thought so, too, and as he handed Sraikes his box, remarked that he had chewed regularly for thirty years, and didn't know as it had damaged him any. As Smikes rolled a large quid back into his left cheek, he said he thought there was a difference in men. He was satisfied that he could stop chewing al any time, but there were some temperamentf to which a gentle narcotic or opiate was really a blessing. A SCENE UNPARALLELED. Last week, as the mammoth fleet of steamers employed to transport old John Robinson's Great World's Exposition, approached the landing at Wyandotte, situated on the bank of the Ohio river, in West Virginia, an unusual commotion was observed to take place on board the flagship, "Erie, No. 9." Men, women and children were wildly running to and fro, frantically shouting to the other steamers, while at the same time there arose a series of shrieks, screeches, yells and howls, as if the inmates of pandemonium were let loose. The good people on shore were unable to make out the meaning and strange behavior of those on the steamers, but surmising that everything was not right among the animals in the meuagerie, they very quickly concluded that the open levee was no place for them, should any of the ferocious monsters make their way to the land, and quickly fled to their homes. In the .meantime, Commodore ; John F. Robinson hoisted signals of distress, which were quickly responded to by the steamer Champion, Captain G. N. Robinson, also the steamer Argosy, Captain James Robinson, who ranged along-side of the Erie, and were informed that an awful battle was raging between the huge doubled horned rhinosceros and the monster war elephant Old Emperor. The ladies and children were quickly transf'ered to the steamers Champion and Argosy, unfi ftion tlif> entire nrews of the three steamers armed themselves and went below to endeavor to separate the combatants. As they reached that portion of the main deck just off the boilers, a horribly sickening sight met their view. Wounded, bleeding and horribly lacerated men were lying where they had been stricken down by the terrible brutes ; dead, wounded and dying horses and ponies strewed the deck in every direction ; cages, destroyed and literally smashed into fragments, were scattered among the dead, wounded and dying, and the terrible din, shrieks, grunts and groans plainly told them that the battle was still fiercely raging. A total destruction of almost every cage on the boat seemed imminent. All efforts proved uuvailing to separate the savage denizens of the forest. At this juncture a loud crash was heard, and the two cages containing the monster sea lions and Labrador seals were driven overboard. The veteran showman was as cool and collected as it was possible for man to be under these circumstances, when his property was going to destruction every moment by thous? : ands of dollars. Not so, however, with man ' ager John F. Robinson, Jr., for when he sav : 1 his favorite sea lions and seals being dashet ' overboard without mercy, he said : "Boys, J , | can't stand this, and we might as well atterap j | to kill one of these brutes before they ruir every cage on the boat." He then gave or '; ders to fire upon them, and a heavy vollej t was discharged, which had no more effect or a the now thoroughly aroused and frightenec I monsters than to cause them to fight witl I more fury' than before. The situation was * getting each moment more dangerous for al ' on board, and the proprietors were in despaii j of all hope, when it occurred to manager, Join j | F. Robinson, to open the steam pipes and del I ; uge them with steam. t! The engineer quickly turned on the steam, I and as it suddenly escaDed from the boiler! | b y *# # , with a terrific roar, a shrill trumpeting screed ; was heard from the elephant, such as they-al | ways utter in crying for mercy when conquer : ed in their native wilds. Whether the ani | mal had received its death-blow from the rhinoceros, or was frightened into submissior by the steam, could not be ascertained until il ; had cleared away, which it did in a few mo i meuts, disclosing to the astonished gaze ol ] the showmen a curious, and at the same time 1 gratifying sight. There lay the huge elephanl j upon the deck cowering, trembling, down, ut j tering moans of pain and fright, while a little j beyond was the rhinoceros snugly ensconced ! in his cage, quaking aud shivering with fear j where he had retreated the instant the steam 1 was opened upon him. The attendants sprang J quickly forward and closed and bolted the | door of his cage, thus securing themselves | from further molestation from him. ' ! Five horses were found killed, as also were '! three ponies, and four more were so badty ' I maimed and wounded that they were killed ' j in mercy, to end their suffering.?Indianapo , j lis Herald. ' . Aversion to Manual Lahok.?'The practice of educating boys for the professions ; which are already overstocked, or for the I mercantile business, in which statistics show that ninety-five in a hundred fail of success is fearfully on the increase in this country, i Americans are annually becoming more and : more averse to manual labor; and to get 8 ; living by one's wits, even at the cost of inde pendence and self-respect, and a fearful weai f and tear of conscience, is the ambition of a large proportion of our young men. The re ; suit is that the mechanical professions are be 7 coming a monopoly of foreigners, and the ' ownership of the finest farms, even in New England, is passing from Americans to Irishs men and Germans. Fifty years ago a fathei , was not ashamed to put his children to the ^ plow or to a mechanical trade ; but now thej ; are "too feeble" for bodily labor ; one has a pain in his side, another a slight cough 5 another "a very delicate bodily constitution,' another is nervous; and so poor Bobby oi i J "Billy or Tommy is sent off to the city to meas t ure tape, weigh coffee, or draw molasses. Il I seems never to occur to their foolish parents i that moderate mauual labor in the pure and I bracing air of the country, is just what these ) puuy, wasp-waisted lads need, and that tc I send them to the crowded and unhealthy city i is to send them to their graves. Let them r follow the plow, swing the sledge, or shovf ' the foreplane, and their pinched chests will be expanded, their sunken cheeks plumped . out, and their lungs, now "cabined, cribbed and confined," will have room to play. Theii I nerves will beinvigorated with their muscles; and when they shall have cast off their jackets 1 instead of being thin, pale, vapid coxcombs, 1 they shall have spread out to the size and i configuration of men. A lawyer's office, s counting-room, or a grocery, is about the las! place to which a sickly youth should be sent One Dog Communicates Good News tc . Another.?In the fall of 1801, my son, Sid . ney G , entered the Federal Army, leav - ing behind him two favorite dogs, both ol . whom greatly lamented his absence. He was i soon captured by the enemy and held a pris' , oner until the spring of 1862, when he was exchanged, and on returning to his command . came past the old homestead in the country ! in Rnllinaer countv. Mo. Both the does haD . pened to be about 300 yards from the house barking up a tree at a squirrel. After some time, however, the smaller one became tired i and eame to the house, the large one remain. ing at the tree. The little fellow came bound ing in the room where his young master, whc t had been so long absent, was sitting, and re. cognized him, and of course, had quite a tai king on over him. The pleasure of once more meeting his kind master was too great to be , enjoyed all alone, so he quickly turned his i course in the direction of his companion in , the woods, and in all speed made his way to ; the tree, and communicated to the large dog i the fact of his young master's arrival home; when, in an instant, both the dogs were making for the house with all their might, the ; larger one, who had remained at the tree, tar king the lead, and not slacking his speed until ; he bounded in the room where Sidney was, The strange part of this story consists in the , fact that the small dog not only coramunica. ted to the large one the fact that Sidney had [ come home, but in some way told him, the i identical room in which he would find him, . as he ran around the house and in at the very ; door where Sidney was sitting, without ever halting or even turning his head toward sev i eral other doors which he had to pass in ma i king the circuit.?St. Louis Globe. ' How to Detect Lying.?Dr. Williams of Chenango county, New York, has found out how to detect a juvenile prevaricator, The other evening several mischievous boys broke into the school-house in that place, built a fire in the same, and were preparing for a hilarious time, when they discovered | that the board of education was after them. Although the school-house was surrounded before they got wind of the danger, they managed to slip out of the building unobserved. Some of them had been recognized in the building, however, and were brought up before the physician mentioned for examination. ; The first boy put upon the stand "knew nothing | about the affair," and asserted his innocence j with all the manifestations of veracity in his ' countenance. The doctor was not satisfied. ; He took hold of the boy's wrist and felt his ! pulse. The pulsations were unnaturally fast. | Looking into the boy's unwavering eye and , imperturbable face, he said: "Young man, I you are lying! You have not uttered one 1 1. _1 L Jl 1 V??.. woru 01 iruiliuuuub bills monci ; jl uui (JUICU i is now running as high as 140, and no person ! enjoying good health, and telling the truth, would have as rapid pulsation as that!" The problem of centuries was solved ; the boy acknowledged that he had broken into ! the school-house. Although the heart sent no tell-tale blood to the face, it throbbed its I confession to the tiny pulse ; and science had i again triumphed where human ingenuity had been at fault.? Utica Herald. B?~ The way to quarrel with a wife is to wait till she is at her toilet preparatory to goi ing out. She will be sure to ask you if her bonnet is straight. Remark that the lives of I nine-tenths of the women are passed in thinking whether their bonnets are straight and ; Q ** * _ " " O | wind up with the remark that you never kuew j but one woman who had common sense about ! her. Wife will ask you who that was. You will, with a sigh, reply, "Ah! never mind." ( Wife will ask you, I "Why didn't you marry her?" You say, abstractedly, "Ah ! why, indeed." j The climax is reached by this time, and a regular row is sure to follow. aST" The New York Herald's Paris letter ' | contains a description of a steam singer and declamator, said to have been invented by Elias Winkil, an American, for the use of i which in Europe, ten years, he was paid 500,000 francs by M. Halanzier, of the Paris opera. Winkil claims that the instrument has a range of seven octaves, and will do all the work required from both male and female singers. , i?L___ Jr ' i "VTEARLY all diseases originate from Indige: ! J3I tion and Torpidity of the Liver, and relief always anxiously sought after. If the Liver 1 I Regulated in its action, health is almost invarii 3 i bly secured. Want of action in the Liver caus< . IT.i.wlrwil.n P?i,?Hnolirai Tnnmlim. Pilin in tl . I Shoulders, Cough, Chills, Dizziness, Sour Ston j aeh, bad taste in the mouth, bilious attacks, palp " ! tation of the heart, depression of spirits, or tl blues, and a hundred other symptoms, for whic , I SIMMONS' LIVER REGULATOR is the be ' I remedy that has ever been discovered. It ac 1 I mildly, effectually, and being a simple vegetab t j compound, can Jo no injury in , any quantitii . that it may betaken. It is harmless in every wa; - It has been used for 40 vears, and hundreds of tl ' good and great from all parts of the country wi i vouch for its being the purest and best. t Simmons' Lirer Regulator, or Medicine, Is harmless, j Is no drastic violent medicine, I Is sure to cure if taken regularly, 1 Is no intoxicating beverage, , Is a faultless family medicine, i Is the cheapest medicine in the world, p Is given with safety and the happiest results t the most delicate infant. ! Does not interfere with business, j Does not disarrange the system, Takes the place of Quinine and Bitters of ever kind, ! Contains the simplest and best remedies, r For sale by all Druggists. [ March 26 13 ly? MUSIC HATH CHARMS, &C. WITH pleasure I inform all who desire to gh their children a chance for a musical edi cation, "but whose means are very limited, that have made arrangements with* the celebraU ' "Mason <fc Hamlin Organ Co.," to supply persoi ? with their unrivaled instrument, either at lowe r nvl/iflu 4av imuh of on t?ionfhlv nr mm I UH-KJljr P'V.^1 < " v....... . ? terly payments, upon what is called the lease pro ' cipfe. Thus any one by paying only a modern ' sum for the use of tlie instrument, can, at an I time,give it up or become purchaser; the amoui t already paid being applied to the purchase. Or person having paid the rent for four years, bi comes the owner of the Organ without furtln ' payment. Call and enquire for particulars an t see the now styles, at my Photo gallery, in tl Adickes'building, where I may be found durin all business hours, either to show you a sample t to wait upon you if you want anything in tl > Photographic line as heretofore. , J. R. SCHORB. P. S.?Notwithstanding all the misrepresent! ' tions and "gab" of .smart agents of the "Ring companies, I still insist that I have the best an , cheapest Sewing Machine (the American) to oflfe ' iind I am ready to prove my words to all wli ' ypnlr fnr the truth in the matter. J. R. S. I :. Jy ^MB|PBW3?^y|cB&6^i^ ? ' . ' ^B^utHHr^ vB E8gj^h|E|^^^BH^HHfl|^^hEM^^ | THE BROWNCOTTON GIN. THE attention of planters and others is agai called to the above old and reliable make ? Cotton Gins. They are furnished this year grea ly improved, and nothing which an experience < ' thirty years in their manufacture could sugge has been left undone to make them the most rclii | ble and perfect Cotton Gin in market. As the n suit of our efforts we need only refer to their ei tablished reputation and wide-spread popularity t For Perfection of Workmanship, Strength, Duri , bility, Light Running, and quantity and qualit of lint produced, we challenge competition. W > are prepared to warrant to any reasonable extei perfect satisfaction to every planter or operato ' The Gins are sold at the lowest possible prices ft good machines, and on reasonable terms. We ii ? vite examination of the samples in the hands < our local agents who will give all desired info 5 mation and furnish applicants with circulars an copiesof commendatory letters from parties usic , the Gins in all sections of the cotton plantic country. Circulars, Price Lists, and other info mation, may be obtained of our agents or by a< , dressing THE BROWN COTTON GIN CO., New London, Conn. ? ALLEN it BARBER, Agents, i Rock Hill, S. C. | May 14 20 ' 27t in the"district court of the u. i For the District of South Carolina. IN TIIK MATTER OF JEREMIAH MOSS.?In Bankruptcy. At Yorkville, in the said District, on the 16th day < July, 1874. MOTIC E is hereby given that a Petition has bee filo.l iti tlm aai/1 fYmrt liv .TEREMIA1 1 MOSS, of York county, in the said District, dui declared a Bankrupt, under the Act of Congres , entitled "An Act to Establish a Uniform System* Bankruptcy throughout the United States," At i proved 2d March, 1867, for a discharge andcertif cate thereof, from all his debts and other elairr , provable under the said Act; and the 1st day * August, 1874, at 12 o'clock, M., is assigned ft 1 the hearingof the same, before W. I. Clawson, or of the Registers in Bankruptcy of said Court, ath office, in Yorkville, South Carolina, when an where the Creditors/nav attend, and shew causi if any they have, why the prayer of the said Pi ! tition should not be granted. . R. M. WALLACE, U.S. Marshalas Messenge i Bv T. W. Clawson, Deputy Messenger. 1 July 16 2!) 3t Iron in the Blood #TITE PERUVIAN SYRUP Vitalizes and Enriches the Blood, Tones up tlio System,Builds up the Broken-down, C ures Fenialo Complaints, Dropsy, Debility, 11 umors. Dyspepsia, AcThousands have been changed by tho use of this remedy from weak, sickly, suffering creatures, to strong, healthy, and happy men and women; and , Invalids cannot reasonably hesitate togivo it a trial, Caution.?Bo sure you get tho right article. See that "Peruvian Syrup" is blown in tho glass. Pamphlets free. Sendforone. SETII W.FOWLE <fc SONS, Proprietors, Boston, Mass. For sale by druggists generally. October 2 40 ly CHER AW AND DARLINGTON R. ROAI PRESIDENT'S OFFICE,' Cjikraw it Darlix6ton Railroad Co., Society Hill, S. C., October 10,1873. CHANGE OF SCHEDULE. ON and after MONDAY, 13th of October, th passenger train will run as follows: Down Train. Up Train. LeaveClientw 6.00, a. M. Leave Florence.. ..3.00, P. B Leave Cash's 8.20, A. M. Leave Palmetto,....3.20, P. J Leave Society Hill.8.4a, A. M. Leave Darlington...3.40,P. It Leave Dove's 9.15, A. M. Leave Dove's 4.15, P. B Leave Darlington. .9.50, A. M. Leave Society Hill.4.45, P. B Leave Palmetto...10.10, A. M. Leave Cash's 5.10, P. B Arrive at Florence. 10.30, A. M. Arrive at Clieraw..5.30, P. B ine rreignt irain win cuunnuu u?r incptcaoj tojrun as heretofore, except to adapt its rupnin and stoppages to the changed schedule of tlio pas senger trains. |RYANl|rRAirON=SADLEj THE LEADING INSTITUTION IN THE U. S THERE are no Vacations. Send for Catalogu and College Documents. For Splendid Spec imensof Penmanship, enclose two P. 0. Stamps Address W. H. SADLER, President, Nos. G <fc 8 N. Charles St., Baltimore, Md. January 1 1 tf STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia, April 24th, 1873. T' HE YORKVILLE ENQUIRER is hereb; designated as the newspaper for the publica I "I' T "....I XTr.fij.na atlH OfHr'ial AflVflrtiSC I LI 1711 171 Oil HUblUW HUM <wr??*v?? ; ineuts for the county of York, under the Act ap 1 proved February 22nd, 1870, entitled "An Act t ; regulate the publication of all Legal and publi 1 Notices, and the order heretofore issued designs j ting the "Carolina New Era" as the official pape for the county of York is hereby rescinded, j Bv order'of the Board. H. E. HAYNE, j Secretary of State, and Secretary of the Board. j I. HENRY E. HAYNE, Secretary of Statf ' and Secretary of the Board, do hereby certif; ! that the foregoing is a true copy of the Original oi j tile in my office. H. E. HAYNE, Secretary of State. RAGS WANTED. A /~k POUNDS of clean cotton and lin en wanted, for which 2 cent per pound will be paid, at the "ENQUIRER" OFFICE. "| SPECIFIC MEDICINES. PREPARED expressly for and adapted to the Southern Climate, t "COMPOUND EXTRACT CORYDALIS" Is the most powerful and efficient alterative and j blood-purifier known. Prepared expressly for Sero/ula, Eruptions of the Skin and all diseases which are produced by bad or unhealthy blood, "DR. GREENE'S FIT CURE" | Cures all kinds of Fits, Spasms and Convulsions ; which arise from irritation of the nerve centres, j In Epilepsy, it often stops the tits from the tirst 1 dav's use even when they lmveexisted for years. "MEDICATED HONEY," The great remedy lor hxi/iiiiu, nroncnuis, wugit.i, j Colds, Croup, Sore-Throat and all diseases of the air passages and lungs. It does not sicken the patient, is pleasant to take, prompt in its action . and does not injure the appetite or impair digesjg tion, as most Expectorants do. is OUR "NEURALGIA SPECIFIC" i- Is a perfect specitic for Neuralgia, Sciaticu, ;s Rheumatism and all muscular or nervous pains, le wherever situated. l- These medicines are prepared with great care i- from perfectly reliable drugs, and for the especial le classes of diseases named on each bottle. No one h of them is claimed as a "cure all." They are st identically the same that we have used in our ts private practice for years, and in thus presenting le them to the public we know whereof we affirm, js They are safe, reliable and efficient, acting quickf. ly and thoroughly. Try them, and you will want ic no others. Ask your Druggist for tnem. 11 For sale by J. C. KUYKENDAL, Yorkville, ? 1;. .rrepareu omy ?y Drs. GREENE, LINDLEY & BENTLEY, Charlotte, N. C. N. B.?Cancers, Tumors and Ulcers treated as heretofore by "Kline's Great Cancer Antidote*," at Charlotte, Goldsboro and Asheyille, N. C. December 18 33 ly m j. mHE COOKING STOVES manufactured at our JL works in Greensboro, N. 0., give universal d satisfaction wherever introduced. They are made r of tho BEST SCOTCH PIG METAL, with heav- 1 10 ier and thicker plate than any other Stove in tho market, and consequently will the longer witli? stand heat and hard usage. They are of hand some pattern and neat finish, and warranted equal . in every other respect to any Cooking Stove sold in the United States, while it is confidently claimed that they are the CHEAPEST. All tho usual pieces of ware and cooking utensils are furnished with each Stove. An important consideration with purchasers is the fact that onr patterns and sizes are never changed. Should a piece get accidentally broken at any time, we can replace it at the mere cost of casting. Not simply because it is a home production, buton accountof its intrinsic merits as an article of household economy, do we ask the patronage of home pumisusers. More than ONE THOUSAND of these Stoves are now in use, and amor j many others having them we respectfully refer to the following: R. E. Guthrie, D. M. Campbell, M. H. Currence, York county; Mrs. Elizabeth J. Wylie, Chester; D. A. Gordon, Guthriesville; John A. Brown, Rock Hill; B. P. Boyd, Joseph Herudon, L. M. Grist, Yorkville. "I You can save the freight from the northern cities , and the dealer's profit, which is no small item, \ by buying of us, and at the same time get a STOVE THAT IS MORE DURABLE than those st of northern make. The following are our prices, delivered at depot in Greensboro: B" No. 8, with 10 pieces ware and 8 feet pipe, $30 00 9- ?? 7 u u tt ti it tt tt 26 00 V' Address, SERGEANT tfe McCAULEY, Greensboro, N. C. f T. C. DUNLAP, Agent, Yorkville, S. C. ? JOHN R. LONDON, Agent, Rock Hill, S. C. i ml 5 GRAND, SQUARE, AND UPRIGHT 5: PIANOS HAVE received upwards of FIFTY FIRST PREMIUMS, and are among the best now made. Every instrument is fully warranted for five years. Prices as low as the exclusive use of the very best materials and the most thorough ? workmanship will permit. The principal pianists S. and composers and the piano-purchasing public, of the South especially, unite in the unanimous verdict of the superiority of the STIEFF PIANO. The DURABILITY of our instruments is fully established by over of SIXTY SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES, in the South, using over 300 of our Pianos. 2 Sole Wholesale Agents for several of the principal manufacturers of Cabinet and Parlor Organs. y P.inoa frr>m fed t/i SfiOO A t? ?l. Clergymen and Sabbath Schools. ' A large assortment of second-hand Pianos, at ?" prices ranging from ?75 to $300, always on hand. Send for Illustrated Catalogue, containing the '3. names of over 2000 Southerners who have bought and are using the Stieff Piano. ie CHAS. M. STIEFF, i? Warerooms, No. 9 North Liberty Street, g BALTIMORE, MD. 3- Factories, 84 and 86 Camden St., and 45 and 47 Perry St. r. May 21 21 ly THE SHORT LINE SCHEDULE. ^ (u, tw>~ Wg* Charlotte, Columbia and Augusta R. R. Co., riArfwrn. Q n IT 1Q7A u. v., iuajr xi9 auii* ' fllHE following Passenger Schedule will be opcrated on and after this date: going north. Tiaiu No. 2. Train No. 4. Leave Augusta, 6.30 a.m. 4.15 p. ni. Graniteville, *7.33 a. m. 5.11 p. m. Col'bia Junct-'n,.. 11.38 a. m. f?.05 p. m. Arrive Columbia, 11.48 a. m. 9.17 p. m. Leave Columbia, 11.58 a. m. Wiunsboro, 2.0fip.m. Chester, J4.0G p. m. Arrive Charlotte, f0.45 p.m. No. 2 Train makes close connection, via Charlotte and Richmond, to all points North, arriving : at New York at 6.05 a. in. No. 4 Train makes close connection, via Wilj mington and Richmond to all points North, arriving at New York at 5.15 p. m. going south. Train No. 1. Train No. 3. Leave Charlotte, 7.00 a. in. Chester, 9.58 a. m. Winiisboro, 11.43 a. m. 1 Arrivoat Colombia 2.03 D. m. f Leave Columbia, 2.13 p. m. 3.40 a. m. ) Col'bia Junction, J2.48 p. m. 4.15 a. m. Graniteville, f7.15 p. m. *7.48 a. m. ^ e Arrive at Augusta, 8.05 p. m. 8.45 a. in. Breakfast. J Dinner, f Supper. South bound Trains connect at Augusta f&rall f. points South and West. Through tickets sold ! and baggage checked to all principal points. pisr Sleeping cars on all Night-Trains. ] JAMES ANDERSON, General Sup't. I. A. Poi*K,Gen. Passenger and Ticket Agent. rT^HHHBUHERlTVTl g I J XRVRfVTE3T|i Iri J ] June 4 23 tf , Wht fotltuilk TERMS?IN ADVANCE : e - . a n r one copy, one year. 9 o w One copy, six months, 150 One copy, three months, 100 Single copy, 10 Two copies, one year, 5 00 Ten copies, one year, 25 00 To persons who make up clubs of ten or 1 more names, an extra copy of the paper will l>e furnished one year, free of charge. I ADVERTI8KMENT8 !" Will be inserted at fifteen cents per line (this size tvpe) for the lirst, and seven-and-a-half cents 0 per lino for each subsequent insertion?less than c three months. No advertisement considered less " than five lines. r Semi-Monthly, Monthly, or Quarterly Advertisements, will be charged twenty cents per line for each insertion. Quarterly, Semi-Annual or Yearly contracts will be made on liberal terms?the contract, however, must, in al' ,ases, be confined to the im'? mediate business of the firm or individual cony trading. a Obituary Notices and Tributes of Respect, rated as advertisements. Announcements of Marriages and Deaths, and notices of a Religious character, inserted gratis, and solicited. ft&r Personal Communications, when admissa bile; Communications of limited or individual s interest, of-recommendations of Candidates for offices of honor, profit or trust, will be charged for as advertisements.