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W:a .?.Ja Im? t**W * ?a*>tH* A \**\ mm W w*n?v t* Wkki let** S58ft*.r3SSK? VOLUME 6. 0? Jl .!??w*>9??*> tafiaa tu* I Oqqu rJrMx5 hrnij ...j ,i tfifllwlyU.(x><^)?it > inn . udo oaoi>.yJ ' *iaq 3??t^ m bam rate Udi oJ ?jflfe"' * orfpl d?oB*of dlttr tjO .J Vrit ttiiirTiiiiifc xnln hntjma 11?4 im? fehJaib lafotbvl ?<<{ **.?? jjoilids-TT?! ,a!da -yj wid jfiujo daum ?m'fe wpif Oil final er. tr?yi j VT jfilarat^r at .Tarrioc^ ifcT W?K A .S7*a ,nr.?iio fcnad a^o MittMerasattif) ti jiwiila'J w jfl a ti Joqad laoirfT-ttO t .?WO? f>o*A ^hin /v^ ?4 J*> aloall ?*t?T /. .taacdii? ->.fl lit r>t sacf %o# ,%i?o*a% > ci qa joL traW aatf Injlhraf A _ Jaari y?to% tftfjafe a faryfl tem\-l 1872 no .Jooir ni *r?'q aavnla* b?Mr r? ?wisq on i i:c>ili -rjy;> ii?dl"m..nl | iWWr f i! ,fsoId ? .'?! >/ bio oa .?maot-w Jon tir~. it '.UT .v;.l? *adn> adJ PUMJSzrsn at : OBANGKBTTBO LJ^^w?WkrKrfvry Saturday Morning. I JttAXGfiB?llO NT!W8 COUP A NT rsfcSfeetj ft?ray?? f*W:oShrJ - ?*?5i <a*ff;RMA OF 8UBBr.KTPTTON* - V . One, Copy for one year. $2.00 JgW%}rf* y ** i'...' " 81* Months.1.00 .tt?>n;r.s\tt.;oa?iandiaK TEN DOLLARS. Ur * fclnb "of N*w Subscribers, will receive an EXTRA COPY for ON'E YEAR. free, of chUrg*. Any ono sending FIVE DOLLAKS. for a "Club of New Subscribers, will receive . 4? EXJtflA COPY Tor SIX MONTHS, free of tfctflftw KO 8/A7?JA > _:o:? RATES OP ADVERTISING. lH@Tll<ib}Hk 'Ist Insertion. $1.60 rot iooa Ssr&i s8*; " rVryrr^H 100 -?? A .Square consists of 10 lines Brevier or "one inch if Advertising space. Administrator's Noticed.......r...$6 00 Notices of Dismissal of Guardlnhs, Ad* ministrotors, Executors, &o.$0 00 - ?Contract Advertisements inserted upon the ?mm?** o:_. ... MARRIAGE nnd FUNERAL NOTICES, Vint exceeding one Square, inserted without :o:? tsa&- Terms Cash in dvance. ^ i In mi i i I i ? 'I' ? Browning & Browning, T*r?* ATTORNEYS AT LAW, 'ORAXGEBlIRti C. II., So. t u. Malcolm j. Bbowniko. q A. F. BnowKtitn. AUGUSTUS B. KNOWLTON fFscmeriX ot me New York Bar.) AT LA JfV, OHA*UKBlJIt<?, ?. C jj uly s_? .. ?< <Wa I*. W. KILKY TRIAL JUSTICE, W<NI?len'ce tti ForU of Kdiftto, ALL BUSINESS ENTIt'lT^t*? will be Jrtoraiptly and ?artfally attended to. July *8. ly DR. T: BERWICK LEGATKE, SURGEON* DENTIST, Cirmluitte HaJliruor? College fjfeatal Surgery-. OFFICE MAflXET-ST. OVER 8T0RE OF J. A. HAMILTON, luW?LLIC CASES. THE WDEKSIGNED HAS ON HAND nil of the various Sites of the above Cases, which can be furnished immediately on ap plication. Also manufacture WOOD COFFINS as usual, and at the shortest notice. Apply fo II, RfGGS, mar 6?6m Carriage Manufacturer. UUEDER & DAVIS, COTTON FACTORS and Oencral Commission Merchants, A<1gtr'? Wharf, CHARLESTON, S. C. 'Oswell Ribdib. Zimmerman Davis oet 16 6m T. F. Brodik. R. R. Hopoins H. C. HrnoiN*. BRODIE ?& CO. CQTTON FACTORS akd COMMISSION H Eilt: 11A NTS. NORTH ATLANTIC WHARF, CflAUESTON. 8. C. Liberal Advances made on Consignment. Refer To Andrew Simonds, Esq., Pres ? 1st National Bank, Cbarlestou, 8. C. may 21 wee U WASHINGTON HOUSii BY Mrs. IL W. Stratton, corner OVSUVaIS fc ASSh.MUl.Y M liEKT COLI MBLV 8. <* Convenient to-?he (trteehvin* ami Charleston Railroads and the Business portion of the'Oity. Rate of Transient Board?Two Dollars per Duy. Regular Boarders received at ReasOnablo Rates. 4e? 16 tf Abraham Lincoln. l'XOITO ff* Nay, here, behold the sad Soul ?f the West Passing behind a rainbow bloodily I Conscience inc*rn*te, steadfast, etrecg, sad free. Changeless thro' change, blessing end over bleeaed. Sad storm-cloud with Qod'e Iris en'hie breast, Acrees the troubled ooean traveled be,? Sad was his* passing I gentle be his rest t God'a Bow eails with him on another e??! At first no larger than a prophet's hand, Against the dense insufferable bide j ? Cloud-like he came; end by a fierce wind fanned. Didst gather'Into greatness ere we knee, Then, flash by flash, most desolately grand. Passed away sadly heavenward, dropping dew! A Singular Adventure. *y o. d.-. m hied e#-i-:*-?>,?. tf . it xi KboleettqohoeoaeV* .v. >j ?' tfe ! j ?.?? : A great uumber of persons who knew the celebrated Dr. Burton, have oflon heard him relate the following anec dote :? One day he had procured the bodies of iwo criminals who hud been hung, tor the purpose of anatntnp ; not being ablo to find the key of the disseoling fooru, ho ordered them to be deposited in an apartment contiguous to his bed room. During the evening he re; d and wrote lute. 'f he clock had just struck one, when all at unco a dull sound proceeded from the room containing tho bodies, and tho doctor went to see what could be the cause of the unexpected noise. What was his ant. uishmeut. or rather his horror, on disouvoriu-r that the suck w'nech contained tho bodies wus turn uMtudt-r, und that one of the n was sitting upright in tho courier! l\-or Dr. Burton, at ihis unexpected o'pp?r?tinn, beeooie transfixed with tor r>?r, which Wus increased by <il?sorviuir the dead nnd sunken eyes rf the corpse fixed' upon Mm. whichever wny he moved. ' 'J in- worthy doctor, more dead than alive, now began to beat a quick retreat "without, however, losing sight of the object of hit* terror. But the spectre bud risen and followed him; his strength, fails, the candle falls from his "hand, und ho is u?.w in complete dark ness. The good doctor has, however, gained his apartment, and thrown himself on bis bed ; belt the fcurlul spectre has still followed him ; it has caught him, and seizes hold of his feet with both hands. At this climax of terror the doctor loudly exclaimed, ?'Whoever your arc, leave me !' At this the spectro let go its hold, and moaned feebly these words :? "Pitty, good hangman ! have pity on toe !" Tho doctor now discovoverod 'the tnyst ry, and regained, little by little, his composure. Ho explained to the criminal, vrho had so narrowly 'escaped .death, who he won, and prepared to call up some of bis family. "Do you, then, ruesn to do troy me'?" ?exclaimed the criminal. "If 1 am dis covered, ray adventure will become pub |Jgj srtr! 1 ?;!;;.;! bv wi./uguli to tne scaffold a second time. In the name of humanity, save mo from death !" The good doctor then rose and pro cured a iight. He muffled bis unex pected visitor In nn old dressing g..wn. and having made him take some re storing cordial, desired to know what crime hud brought him to the scaffold. Ho was hunged lor high treason. Tho good doctjr did not well kpow what mean? to employ to suvo the pout creature. He could not keep him m his house, und tu turn him out would be to expose biui to certain dcttti. J he "iily way, then, wus to gut him into I lie country ; so huviug mude him dress htm hell in Milue old clothe* which the kind doctor selected imtu his wnrurobc, 1m ?eft town early, eWOOHlptiA ed dy his j.roteye, wtlO..< ho represeuied ?h uu . S.?l?|;iul. .When tiny hud got into tho open country j the wretched oreature threw it.ii?i-i-ll' at the lect til his bonefuct .r and .it.. nil v, to Wui'in ho swore an etuitiul ^iiildu'ic ; .mi the gam mus doctor liiiVlHU . n.cveil his Wuitl? DV U H.u.dl ?04)1 III u.uue}, the gru elut creature i >t hiiii, w.th ..i.'tiy bluosings and prav ers n r his huppiuo*s% About twelve years alter this accur idice, Dr. Burton hud uccostou to visit Amsterdam. Having gone, one day, tu tho bank, he was accosted by a well dreseed tnan?one who bad been pointed out to bim as-one of the most opulent merchants of the city. The morchant, aaked him politely if he were not Dr. Burton of London ; and ou his answer ing iu the affirmative, pressed him to dine at his house, ?which invitation the worthy doctor accepted. On arriving at the. merchant's house, he was shown into on elegant apartment, where a oioat charming woman and two lovely children welcomed. htm in the most, friendly, manner, which recoption sur prised him the more, coming from per sons he had never before met. After dinner, the merchant, having taken him into his counting-house, seitcd hia hand, and having pressed it rith friendly warmth, said to him. "Do you not recollect me ?" "No," said the doctor. '?Well, thoo, I remember you well, and your features will never be obliter ated from my memory, for to you I owe my life. Do you not remember the puor fellow who was hanged on a charge of conspiring for the dethronement of the King?for high treason, in fact ? On leaving >ou, I went to Holland, Writing a good hand, und being also a good uccountaut, t soou obtuiucd a situation as olerk in a merchant's office. My good conduct and seal soou gained me the confidence of my etnpoyer, and the affections of his daughter When he retired from business I succeeded him, and became his son-in-law; but without you, without your care, without your generous assistance, I should not hove lived to enjoy so much happiness (Ieuer?'its man ! oonstder, henceforth, my house, my lortuue, and myself, us wholly yours." The kind doctor was off. cted even to tears ; und both those happy beings participated iu the most delightful ex pression of their feelings, which wer.' soon shared by*the u^fcrchant's intere-t iug family, who cuine to join them Preserve this < art fully. _ 'Tn reply to C" W. C, V. 168, I can give some facts which may be of use to somebody, thereby sav'uig life.?The time between the biting of tin animal by a mad d"g and showiug signs of hy drophobia is not less thun nine days, but may bo nine mouths After the animal has become rabid, a bite or scratch with his teeth upon a person, or slobber coming in contact with a sore or u raw place, would produce hydrophobia just as soon as though he had been bitten by a mad-dog. Hydrophobia cun be prevented, and I' will give what is well known to -be an infallible remedy, if properly administered, for man or beast. A dose Ibra horao or cow should be about four times as grent us for a per&on. It is uot too late to givo medi cine any time before theapusms oome on. The first does for a person, is one and i a half ounces elecampane root, bruised, put in a pint of new milk, reduced to one half by boiling, theu taken all at cue doso iu the morning, fasting until after noon, or at least a very light diet after several hours have elapsed The second doso the same us first. nvonnt take two ounces of the root; thir<1 dose j the sume as last, to be takou ever) , other day ?Three doses are all that is needed, and there need be no fear. This I know from my own experience, and know of a number of other cases where it has been entirely successful. This is no guess-work. '1 hose persons I allude to were bitten by their own dogs, thut had been bitten by raHd do^s. and were penned up to see if they would go mad ; tliey did j:o mad, and did bite the per sons. This remedy has been used in and about Philadelphia for forty years and longer with great success, and is known as the Goodman romedy. I am acquainted with a physician who told me he knew ot its use for more than thirty year.*, but never knew a case thut failed where it was properly adminis tered. Among other cases he mentioned was one where a number of cows hud been bitten by u mad dog. To halt ol tho number tl ey administered this rein ed, to the other half uot. The latter all diud with hydrophobia, whilo those iii.it took the eleoaujpaiie aud milk .sli Wed no signs of that disease - ? A'. C' ?Uuc.malur, in Country Gentleman, Mimtj'tmery Co., i\nn. i i?? - - ? ?i" I. ?? A lawyer and a doctor were walking uriu in arm, a wag said to a friend, * Tl esc two are just equal to ono high w-yuian." "Why?" was the reapoo.se. "Because thoy area lawyer and a doc- | t/)f*-yonr money or your life." committee of the Manchester Unity of Odd. FellofMfiet at Lancaster, England - The Oran^ tf|?^oo^ied thWa^^ and gave #Af>Wj <jft^tvfo*:fr* as illoatrat? jo^j^e^^ejth of this bodyv recruited from among tho artisan olasa of English society, jo the course of the inaugural ress, the Grand Master congratulated the Unity ojDi ihe pro*, (tress made since 1853, whejR (the first step toward adopting a graduated scale of contributions was taken. Thou there were 224,400 members, but now 458, 000?mure than double. The average increase had been 12,000 a year, but last year 15.000. Tho capital now amounted to 3,000,000, sterling, and the income !\st year was 700,000, stor ing while tntf-e thun 500,000, was paid for Bick and/funeral benefits and medi cal attendance. Tho directors submitted a report of their proceedings during the past year. They congratulated the Unity on the fact that 35,260 members bad been ad mitted, showing a net ir.crea.se of 15, 584 against 8.476 in 1870. Of the 35,270 initiated last year, 22",391 were under twenty-Bye years of ago. The quinquennial nturus for the period ending December last, showed an in creasing intensity of sickness, sufficient to suggest caution in dealing with sur plus tuuds, and the directors during the year had declined to allow any Lodge to divide surplus capitul among mem bers. Tho Auditor's report showed that the management expenses of the Unity last year had br-en 1,094, 2<j. 3Jd-, being a decrease of 148, 7s. lid., and the pro- | (its from all souroes had been 1,020, Is. 0|d., being an increase of 34, 5s. 3d. - ,4." An Example rem Youxc Men.? Those extra nice young meu who never wish to soil their hands with manual labor, but aspire to profossio? al and lazy gentility," cun learn a good lesson from the course persuod by the nephew of the late Colonel Colt, of Hurtlord Connecti cut, who received from his uncle aa im mense fortune. At the time of Colt's death, the nephew was learning his trade of mac hinist, in his uncle's shop, working diligcutly every day; subject to the same rules us other apprentices. On his death he becane a millionaire: but choosing a guardhiu to manage his property, he continued at his labor and served his ap prmticeship. Now, wheu he walks the rooms of his fine house, or drives a handsome and costly team he has a con sciousness that if his riches takes to themselves wiugs and Qy away, he is posscr. sed with the means uf getting an honest livelihood, aud oau mako u*fortuuc for himself. He was a great mechanic, and is not ashamed ol it. again. Ltbor, with its accompanying dirt, is not dishonor able or degrading; laziness, aud its al most necessary evils, are disgusting and destroying. Dirty hands and sense of independence arc to be preferrc 1 to kid gloves and the consciousness of being a mere dp tie in the human hive. Tools rust of neglect?wear out from use. Negiuui is criminal?ubc is beneficial. So with man's capacities?better wear them out thau let them rust. Fight Between a Doa and a Rattlesnake.?Sunday afternoon a woman, residing in Brooklyn, went to a field near th it suburb to pick blackber ries, nccompaniod by" a lurgo and valu able dog. Whilo engaged in getting berries her attention was attracted by the dog, which was barking furiously not far sway, and going towards the spot she discovered a huge rattlesnake, coiled up on the defensive and keeping the dog at bay. As tho woman op prouched, the snake, withdrawing its at tention from tho dog, suddenly uncoiled and glided towards her, whereupon she turned ond fled ; but the dog, taking udvuutugo of the opportunity thus pre sented, Bprung upon the reptile aud seized it with his teeth?the pnukc ai tho same time burying its fangs in the dog. Tho woman did not stop to watch the fight, but hurried home with ull possible speed, aud not long after her arrival there tho dog dragged himself to the gate, coVerod with blood and terribly swollen, und almost immediately died.?Florida Union. ? in? emu-ii - If thiue enemy wrong titte, bay oaoh of his cbildroo a drum. They say that potato btif^s aro trying tho njuhtivn eyrteoi oyt yt Indiana . following is the experience of n incchuu jjiot (Concfjmqg *.he benefits of a nowspa c?Wi?:r riot a (^oaeoeb lie d^n^iMR^PWe^We^De^tght, fo* 1 j am a carpenter by trade, I saw a little girt;.leave my .door, and I asked fcny trifo wJbjLaia,w?9t d&ftJJAid Mrs. Harris had' sent her niter their newspaper, which my wife had borrowed. As we sat down to tea my wife said to, me by namo : i :< "t tffsh you would^snbscrlbe fe>t*?-~ newspaper ; it is So much comfort to roc when you are away from home." "I would like to do so," Said I, "but I you know I owo a payment on the house and lot. It will be all I can do to meet it." . She replied: "If you will take this paper, I will sew for the tailor to pay ?for it." d ( I subscribed for tbo paper; it came in due time to the shop. While restiug one noou and looking over it, I saw an advertisement of the county commission ers to 1st s bridge that was to be built. I put in a bid for the bridge, und the job wus awarded to me, on which 1 cleared $300, which enabled me to pay for my house and lot easily, and but for tho newspaper I would not have kuow any thing nbout the contract, and could not have met my payment on my house ami lot. A mechanic never loses anything by taking a newspaper. A Pleasant Game.?It can be played by any number of persons. Let all be provided with pencil and paper except one. who is the time-keeper and umpire. Choose some word containing a variety of letters, aa, for instance, New Hampshire, which each cue writes at the heud of his paper. Whan all are ready.-t key write down all the words they can think of beginning with tho letter N, using ooly the letters con tained in tho word New nffOrpnhirc, and no lett or more times in tho same word than is used there. At the end of three or five minutes, as may be agreed upon, the time-keeper gives notice, and they each count the words they have writea. Tho one who has the most reads his, the others looking over their own list:? and erasing any like words that may be found there. Each one reads his un erased words in turn, and, when all have finished, tho number which each has left counts so many ou the game. After N is disposed of take up E, aud so ou through the whole word, except when a letter occurs twice; theu the repeti tion is omitted. At the close each play er counts up his unerusod words, and whoever has got tho. greatest number j wius the game, Tho Postal Record says that during ! the past year there were sent, to the Dead Letter Office nearly three million letters. Sixty-eight thousaud of these letters could tint be forwarded owing to the carelessness of tho wtitcrs omitting to givo the country or State ; four hun dred thousaud failed to bo sent because the writers forgot to put on stamps, and over three thousaud letters wero put in iiie iHwt-umue without .iiiy address wnat evcr. In tho letters above uatned was found over 892,000 in cash,. drafts, checks, etc., etc., to the value of 83,000, OUU. There were ovor thirty-nine thousaud photographs contained in the abovo letters. Of course nearly all the money aud valuables were returned to the owners, but much needless delay, many charges of dishonesty, etc., might hav.e been saved if the writers of the letters could have been a little more careful, and taken the precaution to see that their letters were in mailable condi tion before depositing them in the post office. It is more than probable that uiue-tenths or all the complaints, losses und delays which are laid to the Post office Department, arc in reality duo to the carelessness of their writers. Clap-trap and Cant.?Invalid, if j you are unwise enough to put yourscll outside (>f auy of tho mock touies guar anteed to contain ' no diffusive stimu j laut," you will inevitably come to griof. Afek your physician if any liquid pre paration, destitute of stimulating pro i perties, is woithy of the name of a touio. He will tell you no. Shun all such uauseotib catchpennies. Plantation Hit ters, the most wholesome iuviguraul in tho world, owes (ho rapidity with which it relievos the disordered stomach and the shuttered uoives to the diffusive a^ent which conveys its nifJioiuul in gredients to the tejt of tbo complaint jftlaV aSjodt^la the,, spirit jbV t'.ije epger iane/ the'mw^'ufritioa^ eojr?gree?mjf " Df all too' Verfemet or aicohpl. Wd 1 medicinal ingredients valuable ae they are, would be compare- ' fiveiy useless vHttibttt' ruis^diatfibutiro basis. They would ?eruieat?U*s*Mr} 1 Beware si yodi' flBbeTot na?ltWAit1 d horrible fei^oWlr rdtuft drags in a state of termentatiorj Wbl6rj/hlx?fcoi^?ii, irti tad&vtola^WTo^si ttbofi'tla ptbite ? ~^r. Pleiuw'g eHfldBU flfqfllcal triacotv will not raise the dead, but it will . benefit and cure the living. For all j severe Coughs. Throat and Bronchial diseases it has novsr been equaled. A couple of medical students di? intcrrcd a subject on a cold winter's night, dressed it, and placed rV, sit ting upright, on the seat of a covered wagon, and starteoffof homo. Coming to a tavern, and seeing the bar-room lighted up, they left the wagou and went in for a drink. The ostler observ ing a n:an sitting in the cold wagou, attempted a conversation ; but, rdcoiv ing no answer, he discovered how the affair stood, aud instantly resolved to have a little fun of his own on the occasion. So, taking the corpse to the stable, he-dressed himself an its clothes, and seated himself In -the wagon The students soon returned and took their seats by the side of the.supposed dead man, when one af them iu merriment gave him a slap ou the f'neo. 'How would you like some flip, old fellow ?' then remarked tremulously to his com panion, 'He is warm,' by heavens 1' 'So would you bo,' replied the corpse, 'if you had been stolen from h?1 as I have' Both students bolted, aud never returned to inquire for the horse aud Wagon. Suddenly Delivered.?A man who was a confirmed and hopeleas drunk ard, being about to go out to the fishing banks with a fisherman, prsposod, before they started. ' To take a diink." "No, said the fisherman; ,.I don't drink." "Don't you dtink anything?" "No ; I don't drink anything." '?Why not?" Because I am a Christain." "What!" said the man, "does Christ keep you from drinking ?" The fisherman, at first, confused by the novelty of the question, hesitated a moment, then answered, "Tea! Christ keeps me from drinking !" Tho poor inebriate was struck by the reply. He thought, "Thete is help that I didn't think of." He wont home and iuto his room, and knelt down and said, "O, Lord Jesus Christ, keep mo from drinking." His appetite for liqnor suddenly left him. He was delivered. A suit came off the other day in whioh a printer named Kclvy was a witness. The case was an assault and battery that came off betweou two men named Brown and Henderson. ?'.Mr. Kolvy, did you witnesi tho affair referred to." '?Well what have you to sty about it?" "That it was the best piece of punc tuation I have seen for some time." "What do you mean by that?" "Why, that Brown dotted ono of llonderson's eyes, for which Henderson put a period ou Browu's breathing for half a minute." The court comprehended the matter at once aud fiuod the defeudant fifty I dollars. Easily Pleased.?A Down Easter advertises for a wife in tho following manner : "Any gal what's got a cow, a goo! feothor bed with comfortublo fixing, five hundred dollars in tho hard pewtor ?one that's had tho measles, and uudor standu tendin' children?can find a cus tomer for life by writing a small billy dux, addressed to ?. Z., aud stiokia' it in a crnek of Undo Eboneaer's barn, back side, jioin' tho hog pen." i?an Sir William R., being at the parish meeting, made some proposals which were objeoted to by a furroer. Highly enraged, he said to the farmer : "Sir, do you know that I have been at two uni versities, and at the colleges at each uni versity V* "Well, sir," said the farmer, "what of that? 1 had s calf that sucked two cows, and the observation I made was, tho more ho sucked tho great 1 cr oalf be yrew. ' are They ere butifal beiuft,xr? ?! ??# width* eVfceV When** don* rm\utiAed< o They eyelribjfc#dg b? heTawat ? is not convenient tOrAft-JfcWI with H klub, but spehv??4 IbjtlMjB Use pole the ?orn couvenien|. rd pole be nbout 396 feet especially If wind is in favor of the pok* fcM* f .rhaVkaught aknnkt'tn ?'to** we easier tew git into ? trap than tear gift 9Ut OV It. In ukiug them cnt gr n trap grate judgment must "?# bad Ml ?Wir ehajbn ihcmup; the more yo shake them cp the more ambrosial they am. One pole kst in t township as mf, rapesbily if the wind changes once ft* awhile-.' ? '-1 1 - "* ' A polo kat'a akin is wntn 2 doUaa la rnetbot, afssw? m snieaeeT be* fc * wuth 8 dollars and fifty eenta tew Aim him. Jm? *dl ?i ?frlT This ic one way to make If shillings pn ? wH*>?nil)w P?T ON AlfOTBZ* story is ijold of two farWaajj||wl)?^i * few miles apart. One day one called on the other, happening around at, dinner time. The person called upon by tbo way, was rather a penurious old. fellow. He was seated at the table enjoying bis diancr. The visitor drew up to the store, looking very wisWully towards the table, expecting the old farmer to invite barn to dine. Tbe old rosW4%t$?ieY ea?ng. "What's tbe sew* over yon? ?e?, neighbor?" Still eaUog. **fb newt, eh?" : "No, I beHove not.** Presently a thought strack dseebsieat. *Wm9, fee, feiend, I did bee* et one toe* of neun that'a worth mentions*^** a fcnt J "Ha, what U that r fern iSnas ('Neighbor John bat a.oojs- that bee five calves." ? taiat "Is that so? Good gracious5 What in thunder does the fifth calf do vhon the others are sucking ?" "Stands and looks on just as I d> like a fool." ?'Mary, put on eaothor plate.' An ignorant, oonoeitod leUdw got aboard a steamer on Lake Huron. Af ter standing on deck awhile, among the crowd, and seeing the captain approach, he inquired: "What is the name of this laker* ? Tho Lake Huron," answered the captain. * ' ' *?* "I want to know what lake I'm on. What's Its name f'1 I "Well, sir," said tho captain, "tbe j lake you're on is tho Lake Huron. Dam tnat satisfy you ?" The crowd wore smiling quite audi Bly, and the man walked on muttering low to himself: "The lake I'm on is tbe febsVl'm en I That's a polite captain, that ia." Two eminent members of the Irish bar, Doyle and Yelvertofi, quarrel:done day so violently that from words they earn* to blows. Doyle, the most powerful man, knocked down his adversary twion? exclaiming most vehemently. "Ten scoendrcl, 1 '11 make yoa behave yourself like a gentleman." To which Yelrertota, rising, answered with equal indignation, 'No sir, never; I defy yon 11 defy yen! You cau't do it. Tn Booroe county, Texas, a suit broughtto recover- fifty dollars for i key, whoo the donkey himself was ten dered in 'open court. Re eras saade ea decent and presentable as possible, by a pair of linen pants slipped on bis frore lags, a stove-pipe hat on his bend, and a pair of spectacles on hie vonernbU near. The judgo and jury were eonmriaed wfcW laughter, and tbo suit was wijheW?e. AXYTHING TO BSAT G?ANT-it* inebriated Democrat was diatng et Wes tern hotel the other day "Beef, pork, mutton, real er chick en ?" said the polite waiter. "I don't care * d?e." ?es the *3f>!y? anjth'i'Jj l<* beat Giant."