The Orangeburg news. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, June 22, 1872, Image 1
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1872
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PUMJSzrsn at :
OBANGKBTTBO
LJ^^w?WkrKrfvry Saturday Morning. I
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^ i In mi i i I i ? 'I' ?
Browning & Browning,
T*r?* ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
'ORAXGEBlIRti C. II., So. t u.
Malcolm j. Bbowniko. q
A. F. BnowKtitn.
AUGUSTUS B. KNOWLTON
fFscmeriX ot me New York Bar.)
AT LA JfV,
OHA*UKBlJIt<?, ?. C
jj uly s_? .. ?<
<Wa I*. W. KILKY
TRIAL JUSTICE,
W<NI?len'ce tti ForU of Kdiftto,
ALL BUSINESS ENTIt'lT^t*? will be
Jrtoraiptly and ?artfally attended to.
July *8. ly
DR. T: BERWICK LEGATKE,
SURGEON* DENTIST,
Cirmluitte HaJliruor? College
fjfeatal Surgery-.
OFFICE MAflXET-ST. OVER 8T0RE OF
J. A. HAMILTON,
luW?LLIC CASES.
THE WDEKSIGNED HAS ON HAND
nil of the various Sites of the above Cases,
which can be furnished immediately on ap
plication.
Also manufacture WOOD COFFINS as
usual, and at the shortest notice.
Apply fo II, RfGGS,
mar 6?6m Carriage Manufacturer.
UUEDER & DAVIS,
COTTON FACTORS
and
Oencral Commission Merchants,
A<1gtr'? Wharf,
CHARLESTON, S. C.
'Oswell Ribdib. Zimmerman Davis
oet 16 6m
T. F. Brodik. R. R. Hopoins
H. C. HrnoiN*.
BRODIE ?& CO.
CQTTON FACTORS
akd
COMMISSION H Eilt: 11A NTS.
NORTH ATLANTIC WHARF,
CflAUESTON. 8. C.
Liberal Advances made on Consignment.
Refer To Andrew Simonds, Esq., Pres ?
1st National Bank, Cbarlestou, 8. C.
may 21 wee U
WASHINGTON HOUSii
BY
Mrs. IL W. Stratton,
corner
OVSUVaIS fc ASSh.MUl.Y M liEKT
COLI MBLV 8. <*
Convenient to-?he (trteehvin* ami Charleston
Railroads and the Business portion of
the'Oity. Rate of Transient
Board?Two Dollars
per Duy.
Regular Boarders received at ReasOnablo
Rates.
4e? 16 tf
Abraham Lincoln.
l'XOITO ff*
Nay, here, behold the sad Soul ?f the West
Passing behind a rainbow bloodily I
Conscience inc*rn*te, steadfast, etrecg, sad
free.
Changeless thro' change, blessing end over
bleeaed.
Sad storm-cloud with Qod'e Iris en'hie
breast,
Acrees the troubled ooean traveled be,?
Sad was his* passing I gentle be his rest t
God'a Bow eails with him on another e??!
At first no larger than a prophet's hand,
Against the dense insufferable bide j ?
Cloud-like he came; end by a fierce wind
fanned.
Didst gather'Into greatness ere we knee,
Then, flash by flash, most desolately grand.
Passed away sadly heavenward, dropping
dew!
A Singular Adventure.
*y o. d.-.
m hied e#-i-:*-?>,?. tf . it xi
KboleettqohoeoaeV* .v. >j ?' tfe ! j ?.?? :
A great uumber of persons who knew
the celebrated Dr. Burton, have oflon
heard him relate the following anec
dote :?
One day he had procured the bodies
of iwo criminals who hud been hung,
tor the purpose of anatntnp ; not being
ablo to find the key of the disseoling
fooru, ho ordered them to be deposited
in an apartment contiguous to his bed
room. During the evening he re; d and
wrote lute. 'f he clock had just struck
one, when all at unco a dull sound
proceeded from the room containing tho
bodies, and tho doctor went to see what
could be the cause of the unexpected
noise. What was his ant. uishmeut. or
rather his horror, on disouvoriu-r that
the suck w'nech contained tho bodies
wus turn uMtudt-r, und that one of the n
was sitting upright in tho courier!
l\-or Dr. Burton, at ihis unexpected
o'pp?r?tinn, beeooie transfixed with tor
r>?r, which Wus increased by <il?sorviuir
the dead nnd sunken eyes rf the corpse
fixed' upon Mm. whichever wny he
moved. ' 'J in- worthy doctor, more dead
than alive, now began to beat a quick
retreat "without, however, losing sight
of the object of hit* terror. But the
spectre bud risen and followed him; his
strength, fails, the candle falls from his
"hand, und ho is u?.w in complete dark
ness.
The good doctor has, however, gained
his apartment, and thrown himself on
bis bed ; belt the fcurlul spectre has still
followed him ; it has caught him, and
seizes hold of his feet with both hands.
At this climax of terror the doctor
loudly exclaimed,
?'Whoever your arc, leave me !'
At this the spectro let go its hold,
and moaned feebly these words :?
"Pitty, good hangman ! have pity on
toe !"
Tho doctor now discovoverod 'the
tnyst ry, and regained, little by little,
his composure. Ho explained to the
criminal, vrho had so narrowly 'escaped
.death, who he won, and prepared to call
up some of bis family.
"Do you, then, ruesn to do troy me'?"
?exclaimed the criminal. "If 1 am dis
covered, ray adventure will become pub
|Jgj srtr! 1 ?;!;;.;! bv wi./uguli to tne
scaffold a second time. In the name of
humanity, save mo from death !"
The good doctor then rose and pro
cured a iight. He muffled bis unex
pected visitor In nn old dressing g..wn.
and having made him take some re
storing cordial, desired to know what
crime hud brought him to the scaffold.
Ho was hunged lor high treason.
Tho good doctjr did not well kpow
what mean? to employ to suvo the pout
creature. He could not keep him m
his house, und tu turn him out would
be to expose biui to certain dcttti. J he
"iily way, then, wus to gut him into I lie
country ; so huviug mude him dress htm
hell in Milue old clothe* which the kind
doctor selected imtu his wnrurobc, 1m
?eft town early, eWOOHlptiA ed dy his
j.roteye, wtlO..< ho represeuied ?h uu
. S.?l?|;iul.
.When tiny hud got into tho open
country j the wretched oreature threw
it.ii?i-i-ll' at the lect til his bonefuct .r and
.it.. nil v, to Wui'in ho swore an etuitiul
^iiildu'ic ; .mi the gam mus doctor
liiiVlHU . n.cveil his Wuitl? DV U H.u.dl
?04)1 III u.uue}, the gru elut creature
i >t hiiii, w.th ..i.'tiy bluosings and prav
ers n r his huppiuo*s%
About twelve years alter this accur
idice, Dr. Burton hud uccostou to visit
Amsterdam. Having gone, one day, tu
tho bank, he was accosted by a well
dreseed tnan?one who bad been pointed
out to bim as-one of the most opulent
merchants of the city. The morchant,
aaked him politely if he were not Dr.
Burton of London ; and ou his answer
ing iu the affirmative, pressed him to
dine at his house, ?which invitation the
worthy doctor accepted. On arriving
at the. merchant's house, he was shown
into on elegant apartment, where a
oioat charming woman and two lovely
children welcomed. htm in the most,
friendly, manner, which recoption sur
prised him the more, coming from per
sons he had never before met.
After dinner, the merchant, having
taken him into his counting-house,
seitcd hia hand, and having pressed it
rith friendly warmth, said to him.
"Do you not recollect me ?"
"No," said the doctor.
'?Well, thoo, I remember you well,
and your features will never be obliter
ated from my memory, for to you I owe
my life. Do you not remember the
puor fellow who was hanged on a charge
of conspiring for the dethronement of
the King?for high treason, in fact ?
On leaving >ou, I went to Holland,
Writing a good hand, und being also a
good uccountaut, t soou obtuiucd a
situation as olerk in a merchant's office.
My good conduct and seal soou gained
me the confidence of my etnpoyer, and
the affections of his daughter When
he retired from business I succeeded
him, and became his son-in-law; but
without you, without your care, without
your generous assistance, I should not
hove lived to enjoy so much happiness
(Ieuer?'its man ! oonstder, henceforth,
my house, my lortuue, and myself, us
wholly yours."
The kind doctor was off. cted even to
tears ; und both those happy beings
participated iu the most delightful ex
pression of their feelings, which wer.'
soon shared by*the u^fcrchant's intere-t
iug family, who cuine to join them
Preserve this < art fully.
_
'Tn reply to C" W. C, V. 168, I can
give some facts which may be of use to
somebody, thereby sav'uig life.?The
time between the biting of tin animal by
a mad d"g and showiug signs of hy
drophobia is not less thun nine days,
but may bo nine mouths After the
animal has become rabid, a bite or
scratch with his teeth upon a person, or
slobber coming in contact with a sore or
u raw place, would produce hydrophobia
just as soon as though he had been
bitten by a mad-dog. Hydrophobia cun
be prevented, and I' will give what is
well known to -be an infallible remedy,
if properly administered, for man or
beast. A dose Ibra horao or cow should
be about four times as grent us for a
per&on. It is uot too late to givo medi
cine any time before theapusms oome
on.
The first does for a person, is one and i
a half ounces elecampane root, bruised,
put in a pint of new milk, reduced to
one half by boiling, theu taken all at
cue doso iu the morning, fasting until
after noon, or at least a very light diet
after several hours have elapsed The
second doso the same us first. nvonnt
take two ounces of the root; thir<1 dose j
the sume as last, to be takou ever) ,
other day ?Three doses are all that is
needed, and there need be no fear. This
I know from my own experience, and
know of a number of other cases where
it has been entirely successful. This is
no guess-work. '1 hose persons I allude
to were bitten by their own dogs, thut
had been bitten by raHd do^s. and were
penned up to see if they would go mad ;
tliey did j:o mad, and did bite the per
sons. This remedy has been used in
and about Philadelphia for forty years
and longer with great success, and is
known as the Goodman romedy. I am
acquainted with a physician who told
me he knew ot its use for more than
thirty year.*, but never knew a case thut
failed where it was properly adminis
tered. Among other cases he mentioned
was one where a number of cows hud
been bitten by u mad dog. To halt ol
tho number tl ey administered this rein
ed, to the other half uot. The latter
all diud with hydrophobia, whilo those
iii.it took the eleoaujpaiie aud milk
.sli Wed no signs of that disease - ? A'. C'
?Uuc.malur, in Country Gentleman,
Mimtj'tmery Co., i\nn.
i i?? - - ? ?i" I. ??
A lawyer and a doctor were walking
uriu in arm, a wag said to a friend,
* Tl esc two are just equal to ono high
w-yuian." "Why?" was the reapoo.se.
"Because thoy area lawyer and a doc- |
t/)f*-yonr money or your life."
committee of the Manchester Unity of
Odd. FellofMfiet at Lancaster, England -
The Oran^ tf|?^oo^ied thWa^^
and gave #Af>Wj <jft^tvfo*:fr*
as illoatrat? jo^j^e^^ejth of this bodyv
recruited from among tho artisan olasa
of English society, jo the course of the
inaugural ress, the Grand Master
congratulated the Unity ojDi ihe pro*,
(tress made since 1853, whejR (the first
step toward adopting a graduated scale
of contributions was taken. Thou there
were 224,400 members, but now 458,
000?mure than double. The average
increase had been 12,000 a year, but
last year 15.000. Tho capital now
amounted to 3,000,000, sterling, and
the income !\st year was 700,000, stor
ing while tntf-e thun 500,000, was paid
for Bick and/funeral benefits and medi
cal attendance.
Tho directors submitted a report of
their proceedings during the past year.
They congratulated the Unity on the
fact that 35,260 members bad been ad
mitted, showing a net ir.crea.se of 15,
584 against 8.476 in 1870. Of the
35,270 initiated last year, 22",391 were
under twenty-Bye years of ago. The
quinquennial nturus for the period
ending December last, showed an in
creasing intensity of sickness, sufficient
to suggest caution in dealing with sur
plus tuuds, and the directors during the
year had declined to allow any Lodge
to divide surplus capitul among mem
bers. Tho Auditor's report showed that
the management expenses of the Unity
last year had br-en 1,094, 2<j. 3Jd-, being
a decrease of 148, 7s. lid., and the pro- |
(its from all souroes had been 1,020, Is.
0|d., being an increase of 34, 5s. 3d.
- ,4."
An Example rem Youxc Men.?
Those extra nice young meu who never
wish to soil their hands with manual
labor, but aspire to profossio? al and lazy
gentility," cun learn a good lesson from
the course persuod by the nephew of the
late Colonel Colt, of Hurtlord Connecti
cut, who received from his uncle aa im
mense fortune. At the time of Colt's
death, the nephew was learning his trade
of mac hinist, in his uncle's shop, working
diligcutly every day; subject to the same
rules us other apprentices. On his death
he becane a millionaire: but choosing a
guardhiu to manage his property, he
continued at his labor and served his ap
prmticeship. Now, wheu he walks the
rooms of his fine house, or drives a
handsome and costly team he has a con
sciousness that if his riches takes to
themselves wiugs and Qy away, he is posscr.
sed with the means uf getting an honest
livelihood, aud oau mako u*fortuuc for
himself. He was a great mechanic, and
is not ashamed ol it. again. Ltbor, with
its accompanying dirt, is not dishonor
able or degrading; laziness, aud its al
most necessary evils, are disgusting and
destroying. Dirty hands and sense of
independence arc to be preferrc 1 to kid
gloves and the consciousness of being a
mere dp tie in the human hive. Tools
rust of neglect?wear out from use.
Negiuui is criminal?ubc is beneficial.
So with man's capacities?better wear
them out thau let them rust.
Fight Between a Doa and a
Rattlesnake.?Sunday afternoon a
woman, residing in Brooklyn, went to a
field near th it suburb to pick blackber
ries, nccompaniod by" a lurgo and valu
able dog. Whilo engaged in getting
berries her attention was attracted by
the dog, which was barking furiously
not far sway, and going towards the
spot she discovered a huge rattlesnake,
coiled up on the defensive and keeping
the dog at bay. As tho woman op
prouched, the snake, withdrawing its at
tention from tho dog, suddenly uncoiled
and glided towards her, whereupon she
turned ond fled ; but the dog, taking
udvuutugo of the opportunity thus pre
sented, Bprung upon the reptile aud
seized it with his teeth?the pnukc ai
tho same time burying its fangs in the
dog. Tho woman did not stop to watch
the fight, but hurried home with ull
possible speed, aud not long after her
arrival there tho dog dragged himself
to the gate, coVerod with blood and
terribly swollen, und almost immediately
died.?Florida Union.
? in? emu-ii -
If thiue enemy wrong titte, bay oaoh
of his cbildroo a drum.
They say that potato btif^s aro trying
tho njuhtivn eyrteoi oyt yt Indiana
. following is the experience of n incchuu
jjiot (Concfjmqg *.he benefits of a nowspa
c?Wi?:r riot a (^oaeoeb lie
d^n^iMR^PWe^We^De^tght, fo* 1
j am a carpenter by trade, I saw a little
girt;.leave my .door, and I asked fcny trifo
wJbjLaia,w?9t d&ftJJAid Mrs. Harris had'
sent her niter their newspaper, which my
wife had borrowed. As we sat down to
tea my wife said to, me by namo : i
:< "t tffsh you would^snbscrlbe fe>t*?-~
newspaper ; it is So much comfort to roc
when you are away from home."
"I would like to do so," Said I, "but I
you know I owo a payment on the house
and lot. It will be all I can do to meet
it."
. She replied: "If you will take this
paper, I will sew for the tailor to pay
?for it." d (
I subscribed for tbo paper; it came
in due time to the shop. While restiug
one noou and looking over it, I saw an
advertisement of the county commission
ers to 1st s bridge that was to be built.
I put in a bid for the bridge, und the
job wus awarded to me, on which 1
cleared $300, which enabled me to pay
for my house and lot easily, and but for tho
newspaper I would not have kuow any
thing nbout the contract, and could not
have met my payment on my house ami
lot. A mechanic never loses anything
by taking a newspaper.
A Pleasant Game.?It can be
played by any number of persons. Let
all be provided with pencil and paper
except one. who is the time-keeper and
umpire. Choose some word containing
a variety of letters, aa, for instance,
New Hampshire, which each cue writes
at the heud of his paper. Whan all are
ready.-t key write down all the words
they can think of beginning with tho
letter N, using ooly the letters con
tained in tho word New nffOrpnhirc, and
no lett or more times in tho same word
than is used there. At the end of three
or five minutes, as may be agreed upon,
the time-keeper gives notice, and they each
count the words they have writea. Tho
one who has the most reads his, the
others looking over their own list:? and
erasing any like words that may be
found there. Each one reads his un
erased words in turn, and, when all have
finished, tho number which each has
left counts so many ou the game. After
N is disposed of take up E, aud so ou
through the whole word, except when
a letter occurs twice; theu the repeti
tion is omitted. At the close each play
er counts up his unerusod words, and
whoever has got tho. greatest number
j wius the game,
Tho Postal Record says that during
! the past year there were sent, to the
Dead Letter Office nearly three million
letters. Sixty-eight thousaud of these
letters could tint be forwarded owing to
the carelessness of tho wtitcrs omitting
to givo the country or State ; four hun
dred thousaud failed to bo sent because
the writers forgot to put on stamps, and
over three thousaud letters wero put in
iiie iHwt-umue without .iiiy address wnat
evcr. In tho letters above uatned was
found over 892,000 in cash,. drafts,
checks, etc., etc., to the value of 83,000,
OUU. There were ovor thirty-nine
thousaud photographs contained in the
abovo letters. Of course nearly all the
money aud valuables were returned to
the owners, but much needless delay,
many charges of dishonesty, etc., might
hav.e been saved if the writers of the
letters could have been a little more
careful, and taken the precaution to see
that their letters were in mailable condi
tion before depositing them in the post
office. It is more than probable that
uiue-tenths or all the complaints, losses
und delays which are laid to the Post
office Department, arc in reality duo to
the carelessness of their writers.
Clap-trap and Cant.?Invalid, if
j you are unwise enough to put yourscll
outside (>f auy of tho mock touies guar
anteed to contain ' no diffusive stimu
j laut," you will inevitably come to griof.
Afek your physician if any liquid pre
paration, destitute of stimulating pro
i perties, is woithy of the name of a touio.
He will tell you no. Shun all such
uauseotib catchpennies. Plantation Hit
ters, the most wholesome iuviguraul in
tho world, owes (ho rapidity with which
it relievos the disordered stomach and
the shuttered uoives to the diffusive
a^ent which conveys its nifJioiuul in
gredients to the tejt of tbo complaint
jftlaV aSjodt^la the,, spirit jbV t'.ije epger
iane/ the'mw^'ufritioa^ eojr?gree?mjf "
Df all too' Verfemet or aicohpl. Wd 1
medicinal ingredients
valuable ae they are, would be compare- '
fiveiy useless vHttibttt' ruis^diatfibutiro
basis. They would ?eruieat?U*s*Mr} 1
Beware si yodi' flBbeTot na?ltWAit1 d
horrible fei^oWlr rdtuft drags in a
state of termentatiorj Wbl6rj/hlx?fcoi^?ii,
irti tad&vtola^WTo^si ttbofi'tla ptbite ?
~^r. Pleiuw'g eHfldBU flfqfllcal triacotv
will not raise the dead, but it will .
benefit and cure the living. For all j
severe Coughs. Throat and Bronchial
diseases it has novsr been equaled.
A couple of medical students di?
intcrrcd a subject on a cold winter's
night, dressed it, and placed rV, sit
ting upright, on the seat of a covered
wagon, and starteoffof homo. Coming
to a tavern, and seeing the bar-room
lighted up, they left the wagou and
went in for a drink. The ostler observ
ing a n:an sitting in the cold wagou,
attempted a conversation ; but, rdcoiv
ing no answer, he discovered how the
affair stood, aud instantly resolved to
have a little fun of his own on the
occasion. So, taking the corpse to the
stable, he-dressed himself an its clothes,
and seated himself In -the wagon The
students soon returned and took their
seats by the side of the.supposed dead
man, when one af them iu merriment
gave him a slap ou the f'neo. 'How
would you like some flip, old fellow ?'
then remarked tremulously to his com
panion, 'He is warm,' by heavens 1' 'So
would you bo,' replied the corpse, 'if
you had been stolen from h?1 as I
have' Both students bolted, aud never
returned to inquire for the horse aud
Wagon.
Suddenly Delivered.?A man
who was a confirmed and hopeleas drunk
ard, being about to go out to the fishing
banks with a fisherman, prsposod, before
they started. ' To take a diink."
"No, said the fisherman; ,.I don't
drink."
"Don't you dtink anything?"
"No ; I don't drink anything."
'?Why not?"
Because I am a Christain."
"What!" said the man, "does Christ
keep you from drinking ?"
The fisherman, at first, confused by
the novelty of the question, hesitated a
moment, then answered, "Tea! Christ
keeps me from drinking !"
Tho poor inebriate was struck by the
reply. He thought, "Thete is help
that I didn't think of." He wont home
and iuto his room, and knelt down and
said, "O, Lord Jesus Christ, keep mo
from drinking." His appetite for liqnor
suddenly left him. He was delivered.
A suit came off the other day in whioh
a printer named Kclvy was a witness.
The case was an assault and battery that
came off betweou two men named Brown
and Henderson.
?'.Mr. Kolvy, did you witnesi tho affair
referred to."
'?Well what have you to sty about
it?"
"That it was the best piece of punc
tuation I have seen for some time."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Why, that Brown dotted ono of
llonderson's eyes, for which Henderson
put a period ou Browu's breathing for
half a minute."
The court comprehended the matter
at once aud fiuod the defeudant fifty
I dollars.
Easily Pleased.?A Down Easter
advertises for a wife in tho following
manner : "Any gal what's got a cow, a
goo! feothor bed with comfortublo fixing,
five hundred dollars in tho hard pewtor
?one that's had tho measles, and uudor
standu tendin' children?can find a cus
tomer for life by writing a small billy
dux, addressed to ?. Z., aud stiokia' it
in a crnek of Undo Eboneaer's barn,
back side, jioin' tho hog pen."
i?an
Sir William R., being at the parish
meeting, made some proposals which
were objeoted to by a furroer. Highly
enraged, he said to the farmer : "Sir, do
you know that I have been at two uni
versities, and at the colleges at each uni
versity V* "Well, sir," said the farmer,
"what of that? 1 had s calf that
sucked two cows, and the observation I
made was, tho more ho sucked tho great
1 cr oalf be yrew. '
are
They ere butifal beiuft,xr? ?! ??#
width*
eVfceV
When**
don* rm\utiAed<
o They eyelribjfc#dg b? heTawat ?
is not convenient tOrAft-JfcWI with H
klub, but spehv??4 IbjtlMjB Use pole
the ?orn couvenien|. rd
pole be nbout 396 feet especially If
wind is in favor of the pok* fcM*
f .rhaVkaught aknnkt'tn ?'to**
we easier tew git into ? trap than tear gift
9Ut OV It.
In ukiug them cnt gr n trap grate
judgment must "?# bad Ml ?Wir ehajbn
ihcmup; the more yo shake them cp
the more ambrosial they am.
One pole kst in t township as mf,
rapesbily if the wind changes once ft*
awhile-.' ? '-1 1 - "* '
A polo kat'a akin is wntn 2 doUaa la
rnetbot, afssw? m snieaeeT be* fc *
wuth 8 dollars and fifty eenta tew Aim
him. Jm? *dl ?i ?frlT
This ic one way to make If shillings
pn ? wH*>?nil)w
P?T ON AlfOTBZ*
story is ijold of two farWaajj||wl)?^i *
few miles apart. One day one called on
the other, happening around at, dinner
time. The person called upon by tbo
way, was rather a penurious old. fellow.
He was seated at the table enjoying bis
diancr. The visitor drew up to the store,
looking very wisWully towards the table,
expecting the old farmer to invite barn
to dine. Tbe old rosW4%t$?ieY ea?ng.
"What's tbe sew* over yon? ?e?,
neighbor?" Still eaUog. **fb newt,
eh?" :
"No, I beHove not.** Presently a
thought strack dseebsieat. *Wm9, fee,
feiend, I did bee* et one toe* of neun
that'a worth mentions*^** a fcnt J
"Ha, what U that r fern iSnas
('Neighbor John bat a.oojs- that bee
five calves." ? taiat
"Is that so? Good gracious5 What
in thunder does the fifth calf do vhon
the others are sucking ?"
"Stands and looks on just as I d>
like a fool."
?'Mary, put on eaothor plate.'
An ignorant, oonoeitod leUdw got
aboard a steamer on Lake Huron. Af
ter standing on deck awhile, among the
crowd, and seeing the captain approach,
he inquired:
"What is the name of this laker*
? Tho Lake Huron," answered the
captain. * ' ' *?*
"I want to know what lake I'm on.
What's Its name f'1
I "Well, sir," said tho captain, "tbe
j lake you're on is tho Lake Huron. Dam
tnat satisfy you ?"
The crowd wore smiling quite audi
Bly, and the man walked on muttering
low to himself:
"The lake I'm on is tbe febsVl'm en I
That's a polite captain, that ia."
Two eminent members of the Irish bar,
Doyle and Yelvertofi, quarrel:done day
so violently that from words they earn*
to blows. Doyle, the most powerful
man, knocked down his adversary twion?
exclaiming most vehemently. "Ten
scoendrcl, 1 '11 make yoa behave yourself
like a gentleman." To which Yelrertota,
rising, answered with equal indignation,
'No sir, never; I defy yon 11 defy yen!
You cau't do it.
Tn Booroe county, Texas, a suit
broughtto recover- fifty dollars for i
key, whoo the donkey himself was ten
dered in 'open court. Re eras saade ea
decent and presentable as possible, by a
pair of linen pants slipped on bis frore
lags, a stove-pipe hat on his bend, and a
pair of spectacles on hie vonernbU near.
The judgo and jury were eonmriaed wfcW
laughter, and tbo suit was wijheW?e.
AXYTHING TO BSAT G?ANT-it*
inebriated Democrat was diatng et Wes
tern hotel the other day
"Beef, pork, mutton, real er chick
en ?" said the polite waiter.
"I don't care * d?e." ?es the *3f>!y?
anjth'i'Jj l<* beat Giant."