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THE JOKER'S BUDGET. Ti sir?' WHAT WE FIND IN THE I1UIMOROIJS PAPERS. "1 1 The Had foy (iive Hils Father a DynntuIte ' Seare-Thc Modern 111ncile- A lint Fit-Messenger Boye. it. Fo A DAD FIT. - "1 An Austin policeman arrested a tramp sir who, although otherwise hattered and torn, had on a perfectly new pair of nt) pnts, which, however, were entirely too short for him.4I. "I believe you stole those pants from some store. You don't look as if they Tif belonged to you." F "I don't belong to them. They be. its long to me." "I believe I'll arrest you. Those pants don't tit you. You pulled them out of some store;" and so saying the Policeman led off the tramp, who laughed heartily. Ant "What are you grinning at ?" "Nothing, except I was thinking what R ftnny platce Austin is. In other towns ri the police arrest you when they see fit, bmt here they take you up when they D don't. see fit," and pomting to his unmen tionables, that struck him just below the knee, he laughed some more.--Te-as if;11ings. i'EaK's BAD BOY. An "What was the matter with your father ?" asked the grocer of the h'aud boy. "I saw him skipping up the street with his hat off, grabbing at his ('oat tails enrV as though they were on fire ?" "Oh, that was only a Fenian scare. No fhii' serious. You see pa is a sort of half En.lis n'u. Te Well, pa has said a good deal ahout the mall wicked Fenians, and that they ought to sl' he pulled, and all that, and when I read the story in the papers about the explo- ing sion in the British Pi'arliainent pa was ia hot. He said the Irish was ruining the T whole world. He didn't dire say it at the table or our hired girl would have of knocked him silly, 'cause she is a nirish ho girl, and she can lick any Englishman in this town. Pa said thie'e ought to have kl been somebody there to have taken that. bomb up and throwed it in the sewer he fore it exploded. Hie said if he ever (t should see a bomb he would grab it righ t" t1tt tp and throw it away where it w t,ldn't iito hurt anybody. Pa~ has me rea<l mI pa' i- mi pers to him nights, cause hi; eyes Iave I1o11 got splinters in 'em, and aI fie I lmtd read n all there was in the paper 1 natle upi a1101 lot more and pretendel to read it, i1boti how it wasrumored that the l'eniais i'ee t". in Milwaukee were going to place dyna- 1te h mite bombs at every house where an Englishman lived, and at a given signal l blow them all upl. Pia 1ookedh pale but he 1=aid he wasn't scared.('t (l We got iny 1hi; 1lali iniv rul ber i,;lt fotf-hall. and paited ' 1Diinvt,tig;h1' in f big white lettertltol it, amtl t'ied a piece of tn-red rope to it for a ftt:u, and got a big fire cracker, one of I lie (old fourt 1it of July horse-searers, andi ;t ba:sket full of broken glass. We put the fot-Il th'i in front of the stei>, and lit tht t:n dl t t"ope, and got under the ste"(' with the fire oraekers and bas'et, whire they go down into the b asncnt. Pa and Ima come out. the front door, and down the "or] steps, and pa saw the foot -hal11 and the burning fuse, and he said, ' Great Gol gets ianner, we are blowed up,' and he ou started to run, and ma she stopped to 1.1ok at it. Just as pa started to run I fr; touihed off the fireereker, and my frun chum arranged it. to pour out the broken andh glass on the brick patvemilent just as the firecracker went, off. \1Vrll, everythlin:g R went just as we expected, ex1ept ma. ' She had examined thle foot-hatll, and c on. amt eluded it wias not)1 danlgerous, and was il just giving it a kick as the tire ernekher" went off, andl the glass fell, and the fire-hn cracker was so near' her that it seatedl hier', and1( when pa4 looked artoundii ma wias tlyinig across t ho sidewalk, anad pa1 hieardl im niilsA antd lhe t hiought the4 h ouise was lownii to atoems. (Ni, you'12d( a diedl to see himt go a roundi thle cer. ~ ( h1 You ('ould1 play eriiokav~ lin hiis coa(t-.ta:i I. anud imy (llil chu went iiil biowled 14a off or1 I guess he wou4111ldie 1r1iminlg vet. 114 sa4id lie woulhl leave it t4 1m14 if heo ever sidlayting aint flie T"en:is4, and~Otit I told him hie hind ala avts claimed tiitt the Feiansii were' t I i ni'est Iin in i t hie r mutch. Whien lie get hom'i-nd 4 fouIdi h the house therice he0 was' t iekle d, and44 wrhien i tna called himt a 'owit d.1 S :idi sid~ it wat fa onlyt a joke of thte hvya with i4 foo4t-ha141,li4has he laughed right out. and14 '4ith be knew an it all the time.' ti In. wt edli to4 see4 if 111 ma11 wol be si'are,l. Ad iiI ulwn 4he . wanted to hug me, hiut it wasn't my 'pub night to hug." . PIA NTA TiON Pil[[ osoeft . ee Too muchel 'fection is a mightv 'nough "rl 'kind oh 'nrtugh. Too much pieo'makes * u man mnonst'os sick. tlim Ef a mni's inie didn't ripen Ier suit die grewin' (410 oh de body, de feebleness oh oine would mnake de activity obt (1e ud der mighty dissatisfied. A boy's mine A in a ole man's body would heo a odd com-. visit binathon' t-i . e human family is so tilled wid p)ridle t ion in life dlat de dlesire for' show does not aftei stop at deatnh. I's often knowed women - pers fer perfess 'ligion on dari death bed all' and den tell what colored dres dev wantted ter be buried in. 't(peri Ef it tuck a muchl oh a strulggle ter il git drunk as5 it does ter gil sobler, I ne(her' Fut wold hah laid out ill de ralin all night. flow De machinery oh dis life is a mighty meni coutrary ar'ranlgemenit. D)e thing dat erino yen oughtenter do is mighty easy, hut de t.himg yen oughter 'complish is powerful the hard. -A rkanasaw Tra e/cer. 141 y IfEtl4ENOER BOYS. ('(14 Bomne of the pancers are matking a great 1'r' hullabaloo because thte mlessentger boys in4(4 i' the Legislat ure do nlot attend to business. Did messenger boys of any Legislatureth1 ever have such an example set to them lV1 as would show them that it woldl bebet popular to attend to business ? WVe have li' never heard of such a ease, says Pcek't ire Sun. Legislatures that work an hour a e (iit day, and whose members roll ten pins, htov, olay poker, drink whisky and talk poli- will ties the other twenty-three hiours, in the otf ot presence of messenger 1boys, (1o not en- Ati courage the youth to attend strictly to steg1t business. Members of the Legislatuire seri< wh1o devote more time to trying to secr pou a little plunder than they w"ould to bone- se'rv fit their constituents, need not he suri- keta' prised if messenger boys learn to steal Tho old papers to sell to junk dealers. Great iandI daily papers would show more sense in vatir pitohig into'the miemi>a:~ of a Legislau ture fot' 'Leir short comiings.. than in to mn abusuipg fourteen year old boys for iia dlom ting the statesmen. The boys wiht be all right if they have a good example sot 'It them. __ II4ak *--N MODERN( DUULLO).- of n "I demand satisfaction, sir." iligh "Sir, you shall have it." pa "I will fght you, sir. With pistols, vegel oir. And balls. At ten paces, sir," are t4 WerVy well, sir." wali 0eeotid day-"You insulted me gross. dug 17, sir" Ia' e "I had esuse, sir." enoug "Tou did not, sir." In a sWy ir?1" again .ous.sir." hunldi ird day-"But where shall we fight, u Canada, sir." 'oo cold for me, sir." 'hen in South Carolina, sir." 'o0 hot for me, sir." urth day-"I am cooler, sir." 1 am I, sir." ut I am not afraid to fight you, or I you, sir." till, we might see if our honors may a satisfied without bloodshed, sir?' rue, sir." hall we try, sir?" fe will, sir." th day-"I withdraw the remark in ost ofrensive sense, sir." am satisfied, sir." o am I, sir." et us burst some champagne, sir." THE NEW HAT. He bonght a new hat, A higli, glossy hat, I the rain it camlle down the next dayt And the day after that., And the day after that rain it had mauage.l to stay And the day after that, And the day after that tho uintry elenent play: And the day alter that., And the day after that D skies were vet gloomy and gray; So the day after that i4 got lia new lat, I he tear?""" a*... away. EWSPAPEIt LIFE OUT WEST. Eit' a Pnprr in . Little Town and'lav Ing Fun out of It. vck, of the Milwaukce Sun, says: ro is no other hulsiness that mortal ever engaged in, that embraces I a continued round of p leasuro said surprises as atteinds tle establish-" a.ud conducting of a country news 3r in a small town out West. here is always in every city, lie says, e 'young man wio thinks his stock iviim atiatus is too large, more than can possibly hold another minute iout. blowing ol or exploding and ug soeic ono, and it is often such a tg man who wants to get, into the spaphe r business. ie goes to somelo of lie way count ty town, and wchee a fel of tle leading Imlisiness men the ide;i hint ytty need i paper to )n IIn' place, and11 fotr or live himdred 'rs is sub)scr'1'ibel and the fun coim (es. For a few weeks, or p erraps ihs, until the novelty of having a i m the new town wears off, busi is very good, and the man thinks its struck it rich, atuIa he refitses to )it, at ia fabulous price. Bit before it reaction sets in. His stock of ry cotnmmences to tpay ottI., the le don't worry nutch whether th o r1 come1s out or not, sublscribecrs re to pa;y or take the papter, ad(vertis ;ets low, the office hatttils are ohliged cil wood, antid stand the corner gro oil for s( ap for the oflice. v" proprietor finds his bills at. the stures aerounltinlitg. and getting or tuhan tlw alvertisitng accounts pay. The business ten of the send away to other towns for job , nad the editor is laid up on a sick from the effects of a mauling he from some esteec(ed citizen, onl i it of an artielo tla", appeared in the 'r. A draft, from the paper house in tho batik unpaid, and to save it I protest, the editor hustles around borrows money that. he don't know e will ever be able to pay. In his s by day he is constait l Iturassed is ''edlitors nd11111 his dl'eam1s ty night fulhl of till mtamtiets of terr'ior'. Hie ler's from we'ek to week what ho htave fotr I t next w.eek 's issue, or hte will pay the htcther for' the last lie huad for dlinnert. lie imakles a r'ots efforit to 1ho apjpointedl ptot 'er otf tIe town to give himu sotie y' cash, but fails thtroutgh lack (If k, bunt is he:tot by one)1 of theo ol'd L'r' (t at the ('ornersI, whostte wife is and thle ple1 wanit to do( home-~ to helIp lim out. tr a few years of trials tand htutd of this kittd, the poor man01 gives upj spatir' andtt sells ott to som 'flla-rt w~ho never had any ne(wspape r ex nece, andi dont't know ho(w iint'h fuin is in the lmsileess. Anud so1 it goY. Ipart icuilar s, but. ~in (I otes it falls o(f, to pinit taperots int cout ryv town. sot wo stpi s I ther~ loe wvill alway;ts Ite ca en tell of' th1'e hardilships andt airiagin)g ineiden'tts attfttndintg theo it atftr all i. stidI, aniy main who started1iiil a I nespapr innanndi1:11toIwn, (twearli tha tt sot lontg as Ihe couiIld ke'ep yout could1( shake a stick at. Haxd the Stuff Int filmi. well-*known American editorIi lately i'd thte schoot4l lhe had left its a htog y vear's before, "[it wi'ts '('omposi. (lay, '' le writes, ' 'and( atS ottO ('ssa i'i anthe l''was readi(, [ could hiaiirdly, ntade my1selfC inrt ii day had1( passed~(, Il he h.vs read 'the samell st iltedl als tt 'Thte Fall of lItme,' 'Thte Tr'ii 'his of Geltns, ' 'jLbety , ' atnd ''The tro of Amerciica;' an tl I Ia girils over '(d with prc'isely. thet sainie seti t.8 abotit v.iolets, andt faity dolils, and son1 i susets, and1( thIe lost Pleind(." tow,"lwispteredl the old domtiio to 'dlitort, "you11 shall lioar the e'lever of 11he schl(.. 1 iit ic'ipjate a1i great 'i ftt this hl." asil tha it a b oy thirteen or fourll ne(0, (eet thoste whichl lie had I from othters. These wver' pro-' ti withI a flood of high sountdiing ir aint words. ''["Te care'er,"' said thIo 'r,'I woullld prophtilesy for' stuchi a woutild Ito that (of a.n imnitator, wiho mike his tradle (on the brain (aitl he'r men." (er tis btoy ai quiet, round-(Ifacedl lad tion of chiickents. TIhe lad had a r,y yard of htis ownt, and gave his ob. hansli on the habits, food antd mar l10 vala'e of the breeds he knewt.t' little pa~per was full of utseful fticts, 10 showved ia keen capacity for obser. in, andtt a dry huminor. There is thto'lad wh1o has stuff in him ake a imatn of wt.eight.," I said to the flie...- Youth's Ciompanion. L* PITEn'T IjAR.-Thie famous Pitch , in1 Tiniidad, is a mlisnomler in) plinit f sime, inasmutch as it is a concre'te, fly flexibtle, mass of pitch. It is a on which bushes andlt patches of .able formation anld pools of water 8 > e seen. There is no diftieuity in ng or wvading over it. The piteh is ip with pickaxes and breaks of)' in l-.nmps. The digers never go deep ~h to ftnd the p1tcg soft and elaetic.d hort time the cavity' made fills up The lake com riseo about one h ed ar'es and will probably in tinme I, ao exhausted. 1 CLEANSING TIlE CANALS. riB ANNUAL E I NT W1i1IC1 1OVELNS THE CuIOs. IForced Labor In Egypt n it Ealets Under the Khedive. Cleansing the 8,500 miles of fresh water canals that at present exist in ypt is, Ilext to the inundation of the Nile, the annual event upon which hangs he success or failure of the crops. From he Pharaohs to the Khedive, canal redging has been the special and anx ious care of the government and for over five thousand years no igyptiau ruler has yet been able to get thL vital work done without resorting to forced labor. A few philanthropists have re ecently remonstrated with Isirail Pacha and the present Khedive for compelling the reluctatit fellah to work ; bit when ever their pockets are touched Europeans have always been most zealons to urge and encourage the most brnt:al aipplica tion of Egyptian forced labor. For in stance, Ismail Pacha had to pay $8,000, 000 in order to secure M. dle L[ sseps' consent to abolish that Hhilnfll clause in the Suez Canal contract wiihI forced 20,000 fellahteen to be dragged every month in chains from their own tiehlls to toil at M. de Lesseps' canal, which has been the alpha and omega of all the plaguies that have befqillen Egypt duriug the last fifteen years. The present Khedive itl done awvay with forced labor, except for ill-(v.ork I elelning out. the canals ain .,f ren, gi ing the cmhankmenlts of Ilie Nil'' ain the l:1rger canals when tOlwr is ltanier of a (lood, and these ctepilis aret :b solutely llece:ssary to pres1r-ve ti' exist. n ot Egypt.. The Nile b(egins to sul side in October and begins to rise in June. The work of cleaning out l th canals Iegins in Febriiary, whitenl the water is very low. ''he other day I rode out to a point oi the ismailia Canal, aitit fenl miles from Cairo, where about l,t1,0I lahorers were hard at work clean ing the canal. What I saw is a fair sjeeimen of forced labor as it exists to. day in Egypt. Moored near the banlk of the canal-which is 180 wide--a larIge diredging machine was throwing up a colltiinuos stream of vile miud lpo>l the towpath of the canal. About three hini dred fellahccn--both men and women were s<ltatting down on their haiiet-s, and with no other implem:. b)ut, th1"ir hands were scooping up thie m1d ibrowI up by the dredging macline land1 th'ow. ing it into round, two-handed, flexi'Hl1 1 uskets. About Heven hundred yonu", boys and girl:( were caruving th es'' baskets full of mud on their' heias m1iil "'dumpling" downl their con(et bh lind lhe '"aital emhanlculnt, abouit hwo htun. dred yard.4 distant. A Greek engile(r was superintending the whb- .rik, altl ahItt twenty or thirty overseem,;- ex perienced fe'litlis, about fort V vears of age-were walking a iout po'jisueltoiusly, seeing tihat nobody was - lav 'I'lie: overseers wore b rown wtotlei fi"zs and long, hle cotton shirts, 1in ii e:c e )tre foott d. Eaichi oV(rste"r 1it1(1 inl his I1:al i 1 slit it stiek, to the end of whieh was noih-d l long flat leather strap tha:lt miglt I Iv served in better days as ia trulnk strap. These flat straps are a tereiil .i, itite for the famous courbash- -an1 e 1iled strip of hippopotamus hide about eight feet long ind twisted and stitffeined with tinl brass wiire. These flat straps wobtlli occ:sionally cone down with a lo Swlitck '" 11pon11 the back of som11e lu'k lesse b ackslider, but as a rule theitre wa;s n10 undue11 cruelty. Th'1e laborers'V ftem selves were taken from the neighbloing -i illa ges by ree<Iulisit i)1n upon1 ite)' r et i ve Shieiks-el-beled to provid e ao manyI hamis. They' sleepi ini tireir villaige, ati iet satIe rise say thieiri frayers ande eait a lairge t of liaked bteanis, garie andoil i. 'T'in.v afterwtardl ilidt wo trk awxv uint itle ill. b'oys iie girls of tenl ori twelve y'ears ehle wot king away in thle sun quite Iilkeid. Thei East Jilver Bridge. Ctoistruction commllueed Jani. 3, 1 87i. Size of New York eaissoni, 172x 102 feet. Size of Brooklyn eaisson, lt;8x10 (). feeit. Timber aind ironi in) risson, 5,23;1 cubic yards. Concrete in well hioles, chiamblers. etec. 5,6ti9 cubic feet. Weight of New York eaissoen, abunt Wegiht, oef con)lcrete lillinIg, ,00 f tih,ns Newv York tower contains tt;,945 eni yalrdsi tf masonry. lBrooklyni teer'i conltainl :38,2141 eubie ynirdls of masoniry. .ILenigthi of river spai, 1,595 feet L enigthi of enoh land span, 930 fett i,8t;0 feet. 1Length of Brooklyn approach, 97t feet. Len'igthi if Newv Yot rk approl'each, 1 5('e2 Ftttt ti ines. Total length of b ridlge, 5,989 feet. Width of bridlge, 85 feet. Number of cables. -t. 1Diiimeter of each ab tle, I ~15 ( inles. (Cabie mnak ing re'ally't 111 ltmninced Ja11ii 1, 1877. Lengthi of eachl siingle wiret inl cales, ~,r79 feet. LengthI of wire in four; cablesli, exelti 'ie tf wrapini)ig wile, 14t,:0ui mlls. Weight of feour tnles, iniclu.-ive it wraljppmtg ire. :3,5:8( tns. Ultiniite sfienigthi if eachl cabele, 12.. Weight oif u ire, niearly 11 feet pa -Ii se'ly it rapped eto a oid cyitii liuiiei 15~ D e.pth oief to wer ftmlaItiion teo h V Iigh i,eter, Briotk lyii, -15 feet. DetpthI of tower founidation bl ow hiigh vat er, New York, 78 feet. Size of towe'rs at high waiter line, I In (59 feet. Size of towers at roof course, 13(ix53 eet. Total height of towiers ilboet Iii.:b wa-tte'r, 278 feet. .Clear height. of bridge in colei r wver span itbove high water at 90 <h ~rees F'., 135 feet. Height of floor at towers abhove h gi 'iiter, 119 feect :i jilites. Grade of roadway, 8; feet in 100) feet Height of towers iab ove road way, I5: eet. Size of anchorages at lease. I129x it u oct. Size of anchoragesi at topi, ii7 1x ld Hight of anc'horagest, 89 feet frttf 5 feet rear.' Weight of eatch anebor pelate, 23 tolns. i Eugmewer, Col. W. A. Rothling. ."I I mAn smart men say dat thie is! ifferent at different placea. I believe bt at's a foot, fur de time allers seems xi riger ter de hoy what holdla det hoss deni b r de muan what goes inter dio whisk,y A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVEtRY. 4 New 1ud 1104t li,n ortlaltt Tlheorv ott One o' the Mle Mt Vit ad ueston ot' (te t'y. la If any one had informed Quoou Elizaheth n I or ahnutioat dlayt that she coul have boent ;eated in her p1hIce in I mdon and conv'er,iod vith Sir W%al er Raleigh in his North (aro. lina hono; receivingi a r'ply fron him withlint 1'I tn hour's time, she woult h:ive dlct:red it to Li be a miraclo. Awl y et, hatd they lived in the I Ipretent day, this apparent minele' w\ould I, mIost readily Ive been witnes-o I anold not eem at ill stranet or 0muatlura1. 'Tie trut ni is, new I'ritii>les atr Ct milig ili o (i.tetlico, and 1 ho op,erltion of illny tt s :allk owl it the I'll.t is being fully understod in the pn'runt. In 130 way do.itI+his fact Come o1100 forcibly to the mint than in tht.- caro and P trentanett of tho humn body. Millioas of y I eo1'pe hvo died in past ages fromtl soult: inl csigniliettl or easily controlled causun_ whieb in thorolug,"hly und-erstood now atl readhly 6i han(dle .1. lonsumptiondi tirImlt b hat been considot o; an inenrahlt tlisoase. And yet it is demostts;1rated thIat it h:s been t can be cured. even after it hat- had it long rou. Dr. Felhix I swal has( juist 4ont1ribuited b. ia notable artielo on this sub;ct to the I'opi- I) le' ,c"ie,-e .I1nthlI,y. le rt"e,ti < econsumpnh- '1 lion i< h'1llino nvi'y eroful. Tle impu)arities P of the bh.o.l Irodluc - at cnst:nit irritali)i inl the Imgs, thus de.;t roying their tlo'i ate Iis- q mues :l1d causing dealthi. Ilii theory "11owsi. co'nclutsive'Iy ti:td Coasuml.tion is ia 1)11ood tis cas'. It uits its origin pIritinarily in a d ragod " co ndition of the kiioys or liver, t1: only3 t\wo si organ:: of the holdy, aside fromt the taugs that pmrify tho blood. When tl t kidneys or liver are (1i8oased tliro; 3130hey ar'o in) a +.o or lactrratedi b wtai--. wi comtniunic lte's poison .to every tnunc_1 of blood that. pa-,ss4 thro:i.rh them. 'li . I ois('nouls blood rcilatos h1 ml,ghi tho l1' sy,,tent ttwd Coml:t.; to tho lungs, where tle l ptoimlm is dep,o=ittd, causing decollposition1 q in the' liuly! foredie cells of the lItlngs. Any dis'Ia (:tt part of tile Ioy l nis onlt nninlttingj Io:ter, ltid yet the bltld, whic-h is I he If:? of " thr -y,te:, i. harught. into direct volit:aft. of with the-e 1in'ioet organls, thuas e1-1rryilg contain all t r :t ias of t 1ho Ittl. Itishol, JI' . t cli. 1). D)., 13,..1., wvholl d e:ithl Ilt ist l~il- so rt'cet y rere.10 e, is relortetd to hav\u dliedl < f In,elnnonial, w\hicht uno:ieal :nltholi- is tit's altiri intic,tes a tiSel Sutt coln itinl'1 of tt 0' 0 kitht3is. Ti is ve!l k:nown, n44oieovr, li tleat 1'or several year.- he hadti hcen the cietim tt of sevrt'r Id i1o.I rubtlle. andl tihe 1.neato'1in - wvhilb titilnll.y teriniianted his lif' uan4 <mly ihe" h1,t result of thel 1,ro\ionts blool t iisonm1t'. ' Th'ile tldly 11tter which is left iln tihe- l'mi;,s: 1 by' the im3n3ur 1111 eiogs up1 amtl Iilatlly tl ein>,ke., the p,atientl. Whenl this is accom17 plishedl ral'ily it i: cal!ed en ll : eu n:a or 1) p 1I< e (on::1n1tionl. : w l :0lwl.v, Ci( InM11,111-l0iY. be1 ON inl ailly event it i'4 the t u.oalt of im' (14, h i lt, cna'I., by <di-ear-edi kithney:,,I'tl titer. To,1''t ,tit facts o f >iience,;w a 'tll(iht-"I f-,- 1 h.all Vi le<dir::li ph-isiians of theday. T''hey ,he'.tw the diesir:lhilil '---n:1., the 10'ee sily, "f 1 kt"t"pin ; thest'lu u in1 t-rtant or "ans ini I er feet eondlition, not only to inwsne h lth.i, b,.It el aLmoto escalto<leth. it Ila-,bhe-nf1 t 1-'11 n,1 Ill t' SN Itilfa(':1 iln ,If 3 r 'i ot e ';:' I 1 . Ilwi:t mintl, thmt t\ nrner'- 'N::f1" i\4141: :.n11 ai :iti r ('uv' is th' only I(oown I.e a l 1( Ilat ai ('e n eulre ilt( keet' inl I.e 11 b tl -";:r,':1: ',( 1. Iurifyin:u :, rgin'( 't ie- h sy, l:t: tii e1th ''!'on Il e=e m 1n11',- , h:'Il! i .: Al l l . - t hithI ,,; 11n :1 .' I t "l l 1 in1 t h 1"", . :11.1 pla11 :1 11, It, in3 i t ulittt onl t4 - rIII l.\ :n 1 ni.t1 i. Iit, - bho l. This i n Io itille statni' t t,'l.l 0 - Il e la thcory. NIr. W . C. I ' i l Il ' (4 1{ntlal" ' .. \'. , Itlthher T1 l e For,nnary. u:t t:ittn n o nt otiie h.o t-lh phII.\ ieianin 11 rie:l!ds. Fo'r four y :4(4" 1 hatl 1 lt'rribh-e ogh, . - c' n1'a i' 1 h ,t i::ht "ven4, "'!u ,. antiall the w .ll I, u .'. \ to l.:t n . 11 - -Twilnl t i ll-: ,I S,ntIh :ul,l :( I ni~ 4 II' r3 beIte . 11 1 : - - tilnall t on l:h 3 1 I to t r \\ n r's- Stie ('i:re. lulnl inl thret 1' mthIt- I '"-;aint"l twen"rtty '1'uutlts. reet. ( - - t I )" 1 n er. I 'l : n1 (1- ' 'l:h I'n'k. : to r1'Il." '' T e h t 1 nl".1the 1, .i.r ..n 1 in |ei:illilt'ly, bu4t3 11 :1 h L., ' "n4 :l (:( I I r.. . . Illv w :. n i rer l iru'n ; '': w - h . 11:4l t1 . Ih ll'' i" 111 n r (":l''t)t to I, 'i Ilr them 1 la1t, 3and41 tiat heallth can hn re r3to:e 1. WOODEN IEFENSES. What Wl'ue 'Thouglat Muttlicnt for 'orilaunmel Forty 1enry Ago. S1 me of 113r rel''rst will dloublItless re- tl mn be'r the ('ll w\ontden block htouse' that ,I f1' 'rmerly st(od in T"ort Se:nm l ell. W e:' 1 defe'lse81 for' (3ur3 harl 4313, :1(1l know'',ing. Ibal4 Mr. 3ila . 1ibl,nw fBie 1(1(, 13314 ('lmr4g4elof F'ort' S'::mmell' dur1i14g its recon' 4(r)ictione we33 a4'(skedl hIiml forl 'om 1133 iniformation11(' 114'13 cocring 1134 4111 1block.. h3ouse. Hed has.' sent us$ te followm'3g 3n4ote, to4gete ' w141 Iiit a : pla (If i hn block hos and334 o111(f 113e fo rt as$ it was3 or3iginll bu3ilt: 311' "'I prob:thlyv ('an tell Y'ou1 some311thin311 I about03 the4 lock'i houw(41 tin3t 31tood in Foil S('eaun-ll. When('( it was3 lirs.t imliilt I 4'4nm3o1 4-43y4, as3 it wa45- 4ob1l:311n4ul 1(4 lome iit dlilIpidaIted wh1(en my4 fa4ther' thorouhl33~3y r'elm4ired'( it ou1t.ide 3314l 1iid' jin 1I--2 or was0- lIllilt t13 de'fend( th14 h:4hor ((Iroml'3 tillw lenemy's4 shlips1, m134l at tihe timel it 44a1 re-' \"'''l31hdo' t4o be31 ('IIti! 1(o 4'omba1l 'nv- e' in the' year 18'1 1 11ny faIth 1303'hl 31 my lt 41i31 diinensions33l ait i (r M('Clary, at1 1i( Iiri:t '1t4'ry (If 1113' (3ne4 at1 Mch[4(4rv was gnallitl', m3st'emI 4of wood1, a3- lit S'han14Iel Thlle nooner4'3 of con3stru3tion wa(3 V.344 fof. 1(1us: Them (313 It "II'tunn.ll' na4s. 1hui1 1131o tim1l'('rs: about 14 -in,.he4s s1j(-: 3'' ('r, ''ach1 one3 3inned m'l 11 owle44'Ild tol lb' 11(4- lolow14. 'Is un1111e 41 solid1( w4431 11 mehe1l(s ieuk, wh'1i('h wo(ub1t he1 134 1ikI 'thought1 of.~14~-( I w441'ill lan sket1ch the34 ', lllanl of t. I4s11t ilag141 ine t1 thisa e' t:agon,l 43343 4-s the4 up1111-r or main1( story'). On et' 1(inti4' bloc1ks :1341 gun3 4'in'l-e foi moun313t. hI ing~ fou 1( ann:on311. In (134- 'en(tre4 (If tih'e i lower43story', was1 a1 ma1(gazie built of br'ick. ( T-,lo-oe nti trvwr for nutsketry. ' Th'Ie pro'(jection4 41; thel upp)14 for) shoot(0in. 41043nw44I, if 11l1 4enem344 14o3 lai34led an3d unid311 an( ath-mpt11 toI -h4 I 1842 4'very4thin(g w4a3 mad:41: i41.w 341I.1 Ithe old1111 time'r. Around3311 the4 house81 w44 4-34443e (13el 31' nunI ('f eedar, phI1on1 :3boutI B (four inches44- apa14rt. Tin1' 3(pper-4 sten13 Jhis 1bu1ilig was3( 311 4l Mr.i ('' imba110ll1's. plIssta h 1)1 ti: lb'etr 4411 t h inci.,un 3' h (('I.33 io 31 MI 4Nkad3e. 1ort ish1-11. 20114 was 1egn (3lginal1 pho3(, before34 thl 4uur (If 1812. The' i4g t Wa40 to I rui3 h Vehet,la sI 11 lho larta of 1r$nIa43114' loilt lhtiri' il ('h1 maIf 134 (31, 4(n(1 4tol tlet h1i I (t4hin ti he1'13 334 bri 11( l'si',1 am I. f1ler being presd (3' side 4l'1 holi kirml 4nder (4h1 p0h fth 31(1k 'in th i3r e 4' 31 n lr.& of the andw t th 31brist34: '431wnard, and prfesing3 thfir 31 int noa substanc Iof theI evee , then1' tw4Ilist 1 1)d t)'h arm, hand' and1 31411-rus 44o.3 n i 'il hakwar or .fornrd'Te or A ltetlt et tihe iVa. Dr. E. Warren, the eminent ihvsician to Purveyor General, C. S. A., now actitioner in Paris and widely-knott r"oughout the South wrote olieiallk Dr. \\Vorthington's Ciolera and 1)ints Lc ca Metieine has long ago enjoyed ght re,pitation, both in an<l out of tit rmHuy." Other )Ihv)sicians of high stand g recom uend it, and with such endorsc cut it ie recognized as a sovereign curt "Is wEmn a monopoly ?" asks tb oston orminercial Bulletin. That de onds upon who has it. If it is yoOt es ; if it is wo--no. Persons recoverin; from wasting dliseae0 ch as malaria, frvera, etc.. will lie greatl' tnetited by u ilg 1i own's Iron I1itter. TiIt petrified body of a mant, witl t)tli hands on his stomach, has jus ecn found in the ruins of Pompeii hlo deceased was probably one th ompoii Board of Aldermen after a bat ttet. OwNroN, k'v .1J. N. Bieek a,ca [ have )tied lirowi'< i:u litters masd c i1 der it one of the hest tonics sold." How much pleasanter this world woul t to live in were it as easy to go to be night as it is to remaii there in ft iorning, and as easy to get ip in tit torning as it is to tailk of getting It le yot go 4t, bed. Cont>Utts. PA."--tv. J D) Zerhinr, ,ar. was paraliz3d Iin my rivht side. The s Brown's Iron Bitters enabled me to walk. MAD.MQ 1:. called upont the iustrueto the hoarling. school whore her ho' being educated and expressed her a asishtent that the pupil was 15 on til st when only 10 scholars had Competed I hwg your pardon, madam,'' said tlh struotor, " this is xtow the error hap 'nod. As your boy is always last w it, hint down the 15th, forgetting tha sere were live pupils ill or absent." l,adies & children's boots & shops can't rnt '-r if Lyon's Patent Heel Stifl'onera are usc< 'l. diiamtondls 'w<ln byt Nrw Y'or, nrtcetle'rs ttre" I:ad I', he wotli 350,00t1. h'lle (-arh'uttcltes wcttrn >nl th oses of New York lar patros ps lirol>al' :st about . $i,000,nnn. " tIr. Its'. nt' (''clery :nail r'hanmomtjilt' 1",I ro avorlh th'"r wri:,"t in :,ldi in nervonr 'n ek heach;it'-." lir. Lehsichter. litllinot ,lo,7tnl has thirteen Nubinna as cur itirs, the cltiuti heing thitt they htv hoirror of wanter for '"hattlhing ittr '.sea." N-'tw let him ierllt tie N'Ns orkl [oistl of Ah l'i."rn,, under his eitt Ia a 1itt l y% of m--n"rs Ithat I'hitr wate trinking purposes.-- //"/ford J' 'r}tl r ri t 'r. (' -lte!r ? :r "" r 'r' l i.;,-m . :l ). \lr"rri.i ' li'net Hl l, \T t ,.. Jf "r_s i .i ee;' ii. /tp ros n . " ro J, ACi has sI tue h ;,imself train sg for the doublet setul race ?" said [arvard o>y to) his chum on the floal Yes, .f;ck rte vtr was very stro:g. And now," 11hitined in the first speaker now11 he's row-hnt.". See liere, Yonna Ilen, intl cirl of iino is twice as handsono sine w" ronuedtl ii i ;si n (Carholine, the deodot c d te. rnet of l'etroleumn, andt( I would tie I" withlo t it for it fo:t'une. "Wrrut'torr jiokinig, will you toll us hait a 'dude'is?" atskeid it holy' c'ltiorrespor itut. (Certainsly. A "'dtde"' is nthIing t is mell'iy lin :ipology for ia htiuman ht ig, :ti:d is to o weakill to bie hadi; and to un)1 ei iii'h wil.l. I ' h Is';i rtOnl, s' i olidied fromii ii t1Nt'1''55 le i ear best w~hsen t.hseir ev< r's sluit. Forw proof,~ visit any fashiioi A Itemai,rkable~ Tribute. hn.yOclidro,. of Pititsbuirg, Pa., writes nllt$il lir. ' tai . n it,ha t iimost gratifyinug s' .iIl s bei n. IlL sithinee i of it'l'slsa -sit nu to tih;h5ticonght. lssOn diapn ns l I'. 14nt'Isisto ll'sh U:dlan t iststai DSr. Green' tOs ou 'ented S1ittera. Si r .4.-The5 Iitliat cen:sts give is d th Ii'' ots'f thIe Untit''d S'ttahl s, MFNt4iMAN's pie d.Ionized bie{ tosj is'ii ty pire'parnijoni o bheef containiing its e I' ntrWou'jIss ;>ro(j.er'fr. It (.cntin jblo 111 akinsg, fosr(ce genert ing anid -life'ssustssin g psropert'ies;i I valutale for indtieesit 'spess 5, nerv1 ni prostratliin, and al1l51 55551 of g&eteral deiity; a, in aill enfle I'l condtit onil, wahe'ther the result of ex-, lit'u(tin', v ptlirostration, over-work~ or utedisase, artculrlyifresuinsg fromt tlmonsary compjlainta. Caawell, Hazard & ., Proprietors, N. Y. Sold by drtuggist.s. Wni tr is tin- diiflerienie beitweensi at td r.uti aIh:tl bsso'? Noniste; fil'r thas IR.WORTHINIToN's HOLRA RAMP AND ARRHOEAUR USED ovE'R 25 YEA Rs n,i~j ' is,hlen i nn'' sss u's ri -u. .) .'i rh 45 . h (ssi'.s -,f'~s ; 1 ' 'i 11''O . g r s. THE CHARLES A.V00ELESR COMPANY, 13 ach Bitters mleetai ihi CEtUIRATE3 rano)nal medical r'I 'oopy hi'h at ' EW\ preent,prevaina. It is perfctly pureC veget abte remedly, embractng the th'r'ee important prope'rt iis - 0 o. a preventive, a tonic and an attera 2.tiTe. It fortfts I he b 1ody against. diaen se'. invigorates and re iazst.be torpid atomach and lir, and egfacts a salut arl ghange lin the eat,ire ST OM Ci sytem. or"r saad Dyall 99 g4ta adF- a APitoros of the duty on works of art, says a Paris paper, a rich Amet ican calls upon a famouis artist.. " I must get tluit picture of yours over to New York be. - fore the new law comes into operation it'll save mo thirty per cent. Just sign D the picture and I'll have it fluiished ou the other stido." Thb Prot 'nIon a Unit. Mr. O. I. DaA pE of No. 2!3 Alain Streot, L Worcester, Mass., volunteers thu followin: "iliav ing occasion recently to tue a remedy for kidney disease, I ap plied to my druggist, ,%r. D. B. Williams, of Lincoln Square, this city, and requested him to :urnisli nie the best kidney medicine that lie knew of and ho banded meo a bottle of Hunt's Remedy, stat ing that it was considered the best l:ecause ie had sold mnany bottles of it to his cue lootis in Worcester, and they all speak of it in the highest terms, and pronounce it always reliable. I took the bottle home and coin .mienced tttking it, and find that it doet the t work offectually; and I am pleased to recoini .imend to all who have kidney or liver disonso the use of Hun. Remedy, the sure cure." April 11, 1853. We All May so. Mr. GF:oia a A. Buanarr, No. 165 Front Street, Worcester. \lais., has just sent us the .o'lowing, directly to the point: " Being alieotey with ailments to which all ulimantity is snbject sootner or lat or, I to id carefully the advertiseinont regardiig the re - : intnrkable curative powers of liunt's llenictly. F id as it seemed to apply to my case exactly, I purchased a bottle of the iodicino at Jain nory's drug store, in thi city. and having nsed it with most beneficial results in mly on n 1:ae, my wife ant son also, commtenced its tiso, and it hats iost decidedly ilmproto I their health, and we shall continue itj useO iln our famnily under stich favorable results.'' April 17, 153. yDIrugsats Ei:s ioncen. - Gr. .UUAtatt: W . lior,o.tl, tlrtg ist. J _.i anud 1:11 Cong;res Street, Troy. N. \'., write April 7, 1553: nI Ati (onstanttly rellin; ffumnt's li"tnedy fmr disensus of the kidiley:, liver, blatI ic - ndii rituiry or:;ans, to iy trade amid friend 3 i ntl t hint ltt it gites general s.ttisfCtin i1 t nll who l: a it."' Trnrt. hav been many definitions ot 1 a gentleman, but time prettiest aid most I. Itoetic is that given by a lady. "A geu tIlemat," says she, ''is a hum111an1 lwaing (o1mb11ining i wtom.in's tenct'sderntesii it a nai s courag. Roanoke Cotton Pre::s. The liemt and ('lien tie.t l'ress isiutde. n U.tn l ss than sheltr .'s,r "t h"r press. 1 ndrels in actual use at ti,t h rt.a-,. Ail h"ure' power gins. Makes heavy balins bfhuit ta-ter ttan any gin can pick. The new improvemevnts in gin honu.w, di,crit,d in the words of their inventors, free to all. Address, Itoamloke r on orke, Co rnsoo t, N. or ltoanoko 0oton P re " Co. ittcit Scui": : 0. Cured Pa,inlessly. Thei. MIedic,i .'' l- Ior . i imi: am gn A Y. I0..0 "m"i''ning. An s .' t - - t .T , R. S. b COhkon. La Po: ,r:d, OPIHMIn Three Weeks. addrew incont.11 . U .i t h :t. Ntain 0PUM 3fLiIARg IAIT end Staut,, enIs. Dr. Mars,h, Qua ln y Michi.r SxITH A SPAUI iNo, Propr'e l,ife scholarsht. Ladies, 330 .Gentlemien.6 .h. References requird Inoreaing demand for o rator.----ala~ fromn40a . 610per mont.b. For fu I particular. adr,ess, J e mpaaldtng. Buam=a. Manaaer. NLumguT, (N l I iii Ri.y i'c. I uw, Newark N.J. I.rn tnanI I ur i r:nu.rite for circubllica. CHICAGO SCALE co, 1 . S'21~ io GN '.t4,E 940. 3 TON h COTTON BEAM &FRAME 345 100 OTilrit im.I ared ce ri - I,f I 1 Fit, . FOR~GES, TOOLS, &c, A i nFT FontI|EIpiD Folit IIn r nt,gi -so air. A uvt anac I(I nt Irr n t...l , CRE WNRO A WORKE iS. P 0 Box 169o New Orleans, L.a Maufactnirera of Rn mnold.. etehra. ted Pintfom ( CTTI'lN PnENNE8S Stean. lla. & IlerO iPm ir. Stea m Pai~tntl hg eboai. tn,iiu Werk. I5ili Fr"OtI). Itma Ra.li'n ,Bac ILEV AI HOBB WisTE Afe a horou ah trial ofth TRtON TONIC, I tae pleasure0 URl in stating that I have been ' a.reatl~ benefitted b its I us. iisters and .ub JUc Speakers will find it_ of the greatest va lu e where a Topi.o is nocs sary. I recommend it as a reliable remnedtia reatorative properties. Lou4a, K y., A r. 2, 1592. rmazBEDBY 'UlE DR. H ARTER MEDI4 The Westingh -MADAPTFF *SIWEND FOR SPEUJA No Counter Shafting or Pulleys Required, SW $75 to $150O Saved.-as (Jins betltedl direct from Engine, or coup'edl to i', as int this cut, Withiout Belt. Bniler tray be oet. 100) feet from Gin House. l he Most Pei fuc etiu.,t for GiJNNING COTTON in the world.( pgrThiar jur lluAIrateid Cirrular .-8 TFe WESITRHOU8BMAaI DAN1r., A TMrg Us,eleral atate Ag .-11 A N IA fN(INHIiNG (OA'PAMir 83 Man For You, Madam,' Whose Complexion betrays some humiliating imperfec tion, whose mirror tells you that you are Tanned, Sallow and disfigured in counte nance, or have Eruptions, Redness, Roughness or un wholesome tints of Com plex ion we say use Hagan's 1ag nolla Balm. It is a delicate, harmiless and delightful article, pro ducing the most natural and entrancing tints, the artiflci ality of which no observer can detect, and which soon becomes permanent if the Magnolia Balm Is judiciousl: used. tr " NnW IMPROVUD VTPWATIJT ES I,arge-t t+t !i. thi' Tim "ollerI ""t lcla. J. P. STEVENS WATCU CO. I WITr.tAIti. t1i:.i.T. - - A I.\ TA. (:A [FAL KID.BLTN,HS I IV KID,U O IE FITTN BRSSGODA STA *AUES MILLE FASTORSUEPPES OF. AL KIDS ELNG,S""OS aUNd ACKNG OIngLSPUMPS" ALL ElNGINE GOVENSe, &o.g,. ne 4q3 Man tret, OUSVILE n t TATINST IS;M CHEPES. "a NTS WP A NT D__ for___ hn____ t. Clo,rl Ilst lli zl et >~ ij~i tS E l l, ( .. M nmlr AN Pa OU R, for tall wh Tw lor saa .e spaostme OhI tiaani, o I a,P W I I.Atln a a (fn. . S or lurt rateptb<.a Co r '.nt h 2 yeaurA. ra t.it e of;uz . ironA, Peruatn,n n A E'K 2 Aarky a ,n Posphou ine ('t 51 $0 s alatablo frm . orturr. draj eliSty, o.s ort A . C1''l9 . ~1'T)ti, 'rstat nlono Fal'Lir'ain - t aar. JAIt).~ . TOWNE,a I raa I ndust'rla r y, Illtoaala.t, . ys:-a SAHOR.al hos il excee sreme for. the debi pilnitatita.,I l rce. ot Joustle EngMJltAU L.i3ca8.ne - Cate, ornbnthoo Caro ett Sree, tahnia,t for . a.r -FE Indutg, Ir, a: