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__ -- . : ~ . *- - * te--, . .., - *.. - -.. . . - -- - * - - -*-- - - - ~ - A IFamily Companiom, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets &c. Vol. IX. WEDNESDAY MORNING, OCTOBER '29, 1873. No. 4. THE HERALD IS PUBLISnED EVElY WXDNESD.kY MolINING, It Newberry C. U., B~Y M(HO. K 6BMEKER, dfifa I H0i9P6oiird Ternu, 9.5O per anu Iuv2ri2b'y in Aaivance. f7'- The Aper is stopped at the expiration C 0me fur which itis paid. t 4he;ma d4notes eutiem t Ofb TfEl IRih WIDOIW' VE~ S.AGE TO HEER SON. emember; Dennleg irde you SO: Tell him we're v.eli aud happy, thank th< ~Lord. ]Daenimr troublAM since.be weax w ton'll mind. aviek, and never say a word Of cires and- trouh!cs, sure, we've all om I he fairest %um iner is not always fair. relI him the slowtd efer calved in May, S-he died poor thing; but that you needn't nind, Mor tilwhe constant -ruin destroy'd the Ust Vbied G wai ever kind, And when the fever spread the eoantry o'er, Ii I; kcjt the icness from our g -t the "- him how A& aeighbors %amUe And cut the c -rn and s:ort d it in the barn; ArW0Wql *WN &-rawentdon.tebanie -, .d -NaIbZ and -JaIMes Cam, Andbfg Tom D)aily; Fsom behind the hll. And say, agra-Oh, say I miss him- still ~4Iy -same- Wit Tiady hands oar toil to '.Vas then I mid bitv as my own right hand, I felt, a!though 'ind 'heart# wre round me there . The kindest heart beat in a forvi,n land. 4tring hahd and heart. now seered far from .me -My mang a weary league of shore and ser. "And tell him she was with us,. he'll know who MavkaMM, hasa't shc a winsome eye? The darkest. deepest. bonniest blue, fever saw except in surimer skie-: And such black hale! It is the blaekct Jair That ever ripp!ed over neck :o flhir. "Tell him 'old ncher' freted maWy a day, And moped, poor dog! 'twas well he didn's die, Crouched by the road side, he watched the, An sniffed at travellers as they passed him .Enit raia, or sanshine, sure 'twas alt the same, 'He listened for the foot that never came. ~Tell him The' house is ronesomelike and cod.~ The fire itself seems robbedl of' half its ~ tis my eye.a.re gpowing old. *And things look dim bet'ore my failiz-g - sight. For.All tha4.tell him 't sav myself that s4un' 1aimes:yoaing,and stitched them every one. "Give-him my beeslag,. morning,. aooa, and -nishr, . . - TFell him my prayers are offered for his good, *'iet be may keep-hh Makecr till in sight, And firmly stand as his brave father stood True tohis name, his country ared his God: Faithrahl at hi o m e , and a teadfast still ab)road.'' -Dablin Freeman. MARY CANAVAN. b'eeti~ame7part ofmy lot in life ~e'lp the Irish Governiment du the eventfuhl period of the Irish ' ine of 1.846-7. was a poor law Inspector, and a ilarge distriot in my charge. .ln(eessarily to go about a good I an~wd visit workhouses, hospitals and relief stations~in the discharge of'mny duties. My mode of convey ance, as a rule,. was an outside Irish janing car, ad with onte horse, or rather indeed with a pony, I used of a day sometimes to get over fifty long Irish miles.. I started one mornisng in thme ear y~ Spring from my headquarters to ista station in a very remote and wild part of my district. My man servan-coachmlan, groom, butler, vlet, all comprisedl in one very oinal- and funny individual call d ."Miek"---acomipanied me. The 'iht before ? left on this particu . lar journey, in which occurred an iicident which I tam about to relate, .Ptold3Mik to be sure to stock the * w~el" of the car with rye bread, .,,hich I usedl to bako iti my owD house, and above all not to forget to finmy lak wthbrandy, which, as wshlpresently~ see, was not al toge .her used f'or selfish purposes. Many a time when I have been driv ng-along the wild roads. I have seen eope who, to my official knowl edge, avere in the respect of the ful1 looking starved. The avidity witi which they seized and devoured th< yes of rye bread I used to give from -the "wvell" satisfied mn< . he .man-shich we,s sent t< rfrom al IVLS om oto ex 8Zt1 6br o at of bake - "J.e-o which 11 e time sa4 even mort n'-vors cu e ofbenting EecuLor. ever ou -\than tha of i5avid B- ne coul , ' \were nc pr V. bout th) mhieh ran hills clad with vernld beauty, I drove some ten miles, and then turned off by a long descent to a wild and barren bog, stretch ing unbrokenly for many miles to ward the sea eoast. As we got on the bog. there was indication that: there had been a turf road, but gradually its trac-es became moie and more indistinct, and we had to. make the best way acrosa tho. "blasted heath." At last we came to a road again, and I was able to shape my course for the relief sta tion, which I was about to inspect. The path, or road, or what3ver else one might chose to call it. was straight, and so there was nothing to interrupt the view right be fore us. ick; who was never much in clined to wrap himself up in him self, and had been diseauar;ing clo quently on the value of go s,;und rogd, giving me his private opiuion as to the charaer cf that on wlicil we were then travelling, suddenly called out: oWhat on earth, ir ? is that be fore us !' "Whoro ?" aaid I. "Don't von aee sir ?" The Lord save us !-a body stretehod across the road." On looLing before me, at about a hundred yards' distanee, I sAw that to which Mick directed my at t mtion. - ,said I, -no donbt it is some poor areatne who has died on the way to the station at-: but we shall soon know." On coming tip we foud it was the corpse of a woman apparently forty years of age. Acenstomed as I was to see the effects of famine, I was horrifiod 4t she the ghastly appearances which presented. Her face was literally so attenuated that I could see all its venous %4d -Arterie - oy well as if the skin had been re move. IN bile looking at this horrid sight, it seemed to lo tit she could not have been very . long dead. "Possibly," I said. life is not qite.extinet." and, recol.ecting the little smattoriu4 Qf dotoring which learned in ealy life, I thought it worth while to see what effect a stimuLnt might have. "Bring me my brandy flask at once, Mick," said I, "and help re to raise her head." "For' what, sir ?" said he. "Bedad. it would take moro than your lhon or could do, to bring her back~ again." '-Well," I added, "do what I tell you, Mick, and let us hope for the best." We lifted the body and placed it against a little hillock whieh was die~ close to where we found the I cman, and I at once proceeded to open her mouth. a proceeding at tended with considerable difficulty. holding her head back I managed to pour nearly half of the contents Iof my flask (a pretty large one. by the -way)~- down .her throat; when suddenly lIelt a. sort of convulsion at the backCof her neck' which rest .ed on my hanid. . This convulsion wa~s to my delight speed.ily follow 'd by a faint hiccup, and I at once made up mind that if I only perse vered, I might have the intense .satisfaction of reator'ing ia fellow ereature to life. Mick and I then set to work, and taking the cnshions of the car we stretched our poor patient in a re umbent position. We then -comn menced to rub the extremities. which were like ice, and with a good will we rubbed and rubbed until! we were rewarded by seeing the head moye, the !Ups twitch. andt '.a I iou.s indications of returning vital Iity. But to succeed must be the work f some time, and heirp we were nearly fifteen miles away from the station. We worked on, howeve~r, for a little time longer, and I then determinelo get as fasta Tc d to my destination. We placed her on the car inl a sitting position, and stared far---z. We hg i not gone more than four' or five hnded yards when we en - oqui~ered a ny os t a1-ominable ~tenh, which was so sickly that I determinea to stop and ascertain what it waa, L~oeking to thc. right, our attention was directed to a thin mnof Iluish'smoke, whiich carmo out of the bog. -Walking over to the place fr'om whence the smoke 'Iissued. and srarcely able to breathe m)je gAe)s oggr, vgh b.e e8~ worse an4d w~or'e, I fouInd to y horror that the smoke was LIfrom a human habitation, if such it could be called, an-old gravel pit, t in which I very soon found the Scause of the stench. Here were lay e in two bodies in an advanced 1 iad-' o~indn. ''s saidernow'1 whiei think of the sight I sarw. It wa orrible beyond description. It oc a ,,,,,.d tn me at once that the wo man we found on the road had crept out of this hovel on seeing the car coming across the bog, and had sunk in the lifeless state of ex haustion in which we found her. And so it turned out to be when I made subsequent inquiry. We iow resumed our journey, and at last arrived at the station, where I lost no time in getting medical relief for my poor patient, and, in sending to the gravel pit to have the bodies removed and buried. The next I returned to headquar ters and from tif-e to tinie after ward had letters from the doctor reporting to me that the woman very speedily recovered, and out of moneys placed at my disposal for charitable purposes I was enablec to contribute to her comfort in the siape of clothing. A couple of months or more pass ed away and the severity of the. fa mine was mitigated by the abun 4eei qf food which came into the country. The people began to look better, and every one was in better spirits. My visits to the remoter statiois of my district were necessarily few o., for I had important duties to discharge qt the towin il wlich I lived, and where the union work house was situated. They were: now principtlly directed to the pre. ention of abuse in the administra ion of relief. Though the distress; was still great, yet it was an un doubted fact with the experience of all those engaged in the -Poor La; sirvice,that abuse crept in to a very ware tent, and it was no easy matter to control them. On another lovely morning, now; far advanced in the summer, I again ftirted for the station at near which occurred the incident which I have endeavored to tell. As, I passed by the spot where our progress-Qn tli road was arrested by the body of the poor woman, Mck sajd; "Ah, your honor, glory be to G(od and thanks to you, do you recol lect the crayture we saw here ?" "Yes. Mick," said I, "and I hope we shall never see such a sight agaim. pony a gentle ieminder that he was to get along as quickly as he could. We drove on for a couple of miles. when we met a gronp of the peas antry of the 4strict goirig to theL relief station for their rations of In dian meal stirabo1f I stopped to nake sony in qui.ies, when suddtnly I felt my knees embraced, ani I saw a girl about eightee*n years of age kissing my feet. "What do you wart, my good "Ahb! your honor,'' sai:1 she, look ing at me with an expres,ion I can never forget, "don't you recollect Mary Cainavan?" "Mary Canavan! surely you ca not be the woman I- --. " "Ah ! yes, sir," she cried. And there she was, the sixriveled hag of forty transformed intaa girl of eighteen, 3ad all by the simple a ininistration of wholesome food for a few Wea3ks. To those who saw sneh as I lid,j this will not appear strange. ButI even now, at this lapse of this titie, when the great tamiine of Irelard, with all its horrible circumstance;. is well-nigh forgotten, I venture b tell this story about poor Mm: Canavan. I.NTIERE.sT fl iE.- For finding he in terest on 'a n y' Principai tor any' numrber of day's. Th'e answ%er' in each 00.'se bcN'2 ;p Fis sparate the two ~rght hanid fig' ures of anfswer' to expreCss it in dol lars and ccn.s. Vour IFor 3ent.-MiltipIly the prncipal by the numbier' of' days to irun; separate right hand figure from prodnet, and di -ide by 9. Five Per' Ce'nt.-Muhtiply by nmber of' days, and divide by 72. Si.x 1i er enat:--. gitip- by' nan'1 ei o4 asys, sopae r'ig.ht hanid figure, atnd divide by G. E;ight Per' Cent.-\lultiply by number of days, and div'ide by' 45. Nine Per Cent.-Multiply by number of dys; epargte 3:iirit Tcn Per' Cent.-Multiply by' number of days, and divide by 30. Twevlve For Cent.-Multiply by number of' day's; se par'ate righ t han d figure, and div'idg b'. R. t~1cc' .he Ccnt.-Multiply by rurnbe1 of~4ays, and liv'ie by 2b .Righteen Per Uent.--Mltiply by number of days ; separate right hand figure, and divide by 2. T wenty Per Cent.-Multiply by number of days, and divide by 18. Twenty-foLur Per (Cnt.-Mult ply by~ number 'of days, a di' vide fy 15. Monog'ranms on note paper are .now nfshionable. the snake clear from the grond ma as John stole a hasty glanet )ver his shoulder. he was horrifi. l 'o find the rcptile securely fastned o the extremity of his garient. vhile the speed with which he rusI d forward kept the serpent at an VIgle of ninety degrees with his >ody. Here was a quandary. If lic ;topped, the snake would coil about iis body and squeeze him to death: f he continued the race, he must ;oon1 fall from' sheer exhau-tion. On 1e New, scarc daring to think how is dreadful race was to end. In tinctively he had taken the direc ion of home, and as. he emergd rom the forest a feeling of security ame over him. Suddenly flashed .cross his mind the true ;t:lt(; of fairs-his father gone-the quilt. nrg-and worst of all-Vic girls. rhis new horror sent the blood )aek, curdling about his heart, and to came to a dead halt. The next noment he felt the body of the old, clammy nionster in contact vith his bare hgs, as though his nakeship only meditated a little Un, by way of tickling John upon he knee. This was too much for mman endurance. With a yell uch a a mian never utters save vhcn in mortal terror. poor John ,gain set forward at breakneck ,peed and on-e more had the plea ure of seeing the snake in his p.Ai ion, somewhat after the fashion of he tail ef a comet. On. on they ew ,'John forgot the quilting, for ot the girls, forgot everything but he snake. His tirst wild shriek had starthd he quilters, and forth they rushed, rondering if sone wild Indian Was >rowling about. By this time he was rithin a few rods of the bx.n; still unning at the top of his speed. his Lead turned so that he might keep me eye on the snake, and with the ither ol)merve what course he must ake. The barn now concealed him rom the sight of the girls. He :new they Were in the yard. having aught a glimpse of them as they ashed from the honse. For a mo ient modesty ove-came fear, and he ieetn hitaed. The snake, evi lently pleased with his rapid trans >orration. manifested his gratihude iv attempting to infold the legs of ur hero withia his embrace. With an 6N-plosive C'och!;" and vged forward by "e'rcumstances iver which he had no control," poor Fohn bounded on The next mo aient he was inl view of the girls, *nd as lie turned the corner of the >arn, the snake came round with a rhiz somewhat after the fashi~on of coach whip, Having reached the arn-yard, to hisa dismay, he found he bara up. But time was too pro ious to be wasted in letting down he bars. He gathered all his trength, bounded into the air, uake ditto, andi gs he alighted on he othgv his aniakeship's tail crack. dL across the upper bar. The house now became the centre .ttraction. and around it lhe revolv d with the sp)eed of thboi1l. Foutr imles in each revohution, as he turn d the corner, his snakeship canme ound with a whiz that was qjuite ofreshinug. While desen~bing the hird circlm. a~ he ee ntear the rioupl or wonder. struck girls, with ut removing his gaze fronm the nake. he managed to cry out -CALL A MAN. The next~ mopqedj. j a whiak dL &ut or sight, and quick as bought lie reapp)eared upon the >ther side of the house-"CALL A And a way he whirled again, turn ng the corner so rapidly that the chiz of the snake sounded about dfway betwec~ g. hrW wltle and hi( rg.aegl pronunciation of dou. eo. And bofore either of the ~irls had stirred from her tra.cks, te had' performed another revolu ion---CAL AMAN I Awa h1 in'~ opio more, but his rees.ph waa fa 1iling. Nancy Clark s the nirst to recover her pres. ncee of ind, and seizing a hoop, he took station near the corner of he house, and as Juha reappeared 17e brxgha it down upon the nake with a force that broke is~ >aeck and his hold upon John's gar nent at the same time. Johl. rushed into the house, and o his room. and at tea time- nppea ad in his best Sundgy ?.x1, lgchI~ng h4Iig ihe wor,tse for t,he race. nd W C1 appeoarances entirely cur .a of bashfulness. That night he w-alked home with Nancy Clark. The next New Year's they were narried, and n~ow, whenever Jolm s inclined to laugh at Igi wig; 2OOPS. 'mc. y only to say "Call a nan' when he instantly sobers diown. Difficulties are God's erra~d mnd when we ar' gon i ggn iWeg - ,hii'd esteemr~ i a proof of his corh A QUEEi SNAKE S'iY. Any one who is disposed to laugh will do well. to read this, John Jackson was a very industrious: hard-working young man, of twen. ty-three years. Being the ildest child and the only son, he had al ways remained at home, assisting his father upon the farm. John was very much respected by every one in the neighborhood, and many a brglit-eyed girl had thought she woild like to change her name to Mrs. John Jackvon. But John was not a "Lady's iaan." The fact was, John was very bashful. He wouldi rather hoe (orn all -Lay than ntider go the ceremony of an introduction to a young lady. Not that John disliked the deir c.:eatures, far from it. We believe that he, in comm1on with all bashful, well-mean ing men, eaterisined the very high Sit respect and admiration for them. Ani-l this was n- doubt the cause of his bashfulness. He felt that they were superior beings. and that he Mas uworthv to associa:e with Ciei upon terms of equality. But we cannot stop to moralize. Nancy Clark was the daugiter of a respectablefarmer, whose lands Ojoined the Jackson farm. Nancy t was a pretty, sa'iey lit tle witch, and ;ho liked John Jackson. When they were children they attended ;he same school, and he was a few yeis her senior, was. usually her 3hunpion in the childish disputes hat arose, and her companion in foing and retninig. At last, John jec4ne so m-uch of a voung man as Lo be kept from school, as she had >een in past years. John discover ld, too. that he had been growing 4ut of fh.aitp. Hig feet and legs ap )eared very awkward- he did not ,now what to do with his hands, lis face pained him, and taking all .1 all he was inielied to think that le was not more than half put to ether. Now the truth was, John rce w .01ll a a >hn 'oig ig, tgd ;h~i4ng Lat .hia Ldmiration of Nany would have hen suggested any such foolish lioughts about himself. As a novelist says, it. as a beauti nl day in Augst. The heavens o-re clear, aene and be:ntiful, I ~he trees were laden with golden ruit, and the be:iitifmil birds twit er'ed their songs of love in the ranches. We were about to say ~hat "earth had yieled her bounti. al harvest of a year's grass .and1 lover, and honeysid~es, which thme ~chle yeomanry of Clieterville had pthIered within their storehouses ut upon a second thought have ~oncuded to write it thus; "The armers of Chesterville were done d'hon a 'su! siter had a giting par'ty that afternoon: his 'athdrhad gone to get some whieat round, and John was left to re >air somec tools to be ready on ite narrow to commncenmowinig the cjadow grass. Suddenly it occur ed tg Jghn tha.t if he remained iout the houise in the afternoon. ie would be called ini at tea time,t nd la requirud wo do the honors of Ae table. To avoid this, he quiet .y shouldered his scythe and stole tway to the meadow, half a mile listant, fully resolved that he wgubd at lege tc-ro unili it was so diark :hat he could not see to mow at all, eud thus aboid seeing the girl. -'es by a ilic,I; jorgt ithah ef ft talfy shut out what little breeze thre might be stirring. The san ptred its rays as though the little me,adow was thew foegs igi ivbere thc1eat was concenitrated. John movtd amnd sweat-sweat and iow. ed, u-i il he was obliged to sit down and CJOl on'. Then it occurred to John hait if he took uI' his panuts r. ( . kuht g brol,ri.-Ay in it. for he ias entirol,y conicealed from observaton, and there was, not the sightetreason to suppose that lie could beseen by any person. So. John strpped of andj wii,h no grig d-e big. linen-ceimmonly aled a alet-he resumed his work. He was jut. congratulating himself~ on the go1 time he wais haig when he ch.nced to disturb a huge black snakca genuine twiter. 1-'I .lgeit ri4, arogna. his neck. 1 tion" -wa the first "passage" that hashed -pon John's mind-"eg tae a of the body. was tue. next. .)ropping his scythe, and. spinnig~ round like. a tg he was Kcad.y 5 strild il 940~gait, when at a~ :.ment his snakeship was near gnough to hook his crocked teetbyn John's shirt just above the> hem With -trenitmau. grinm hie taried otff wnth the speed of a *-BOYS. TIS TIING )OX'T PAY. A company of young inn had sp.elt Imost of the night driinkin" freely of the intxit.cating cup, anl in other sor-ial indulgences whiel accompany it ant ma01k up a "good tinie." The ne-: day. Saulav. they were1 sitting inl the bar rooI1 of a ru-teil. jaal . used u). half (lcad. stomch-a Ilumnd sIt.k, heart-sick. ner%,ous, enw-s, prohoic. .nisitrably, payil pa t, of the price of thu night's rvy 1 in the .iible re action wh,iich! follows suih Violation of nature's laws. They tried, at times. to rally their jadeI spirits. (rack jokes and folCe aI ppear alice of good feeling: but disgraced and outraged nature would scourge them back again, and again ii. to that Imaudllin, id,iotic tupor wiiel follows a drunken spree. and and presages death. The leader, stout built. noble in bearing. well-developed, fitted by nature to be a m and for a more respectable company, sat the while. moody, troubled, ashaued of the nighis debauch, of himtself. his coIpany and the place lie was in: half-penitent. half-desponding, pass ing througif a terrible mental strug gle, under the lash of an a iakened conseience.paying a fca-ful price for the "fui" of the previous night. H i s pot-companions gathered around him to "poke fun," break his reverie, and drive off "the blues." le rallied. gazed upon them a moment. and with a start ling energy of expression, uttered this short, graphic, truthful speech: '-Boys, tie thiny doW' pay. It i fan enough tehile it lasts.hut it is hdl He uttered a most thrilling truth. He had "been there." He was a competent witness. He was deadly in earnest when lie said it. He fet all he said. Nature forced him to an honest confession. He was "paying the bills." and he knew he was "paying too dear for the whis tie." There is poetic brevity, foice and fervor in the confession, and there is more truth than poetry in it. It is-an honest confession, after the -fun" is past. It is a warning from behind the scenes. It "d't pay" to give tinje, non ev, repu,1tAir. Glaroetel, social sti1ding, business prospets, com fort, health, peace of mind, an ap proving conscience, manhood, self respect, the approbation of God and the prospect of heaven, for a few hours of -'fun," to be followed by such prostration, consjcien de grach~tion and1 se.lf reproach. "Boys, this thing don't pay." It is selling your "birthright for a mess3 of pot tage," with "death at the pot "It is hell a fterwards.' T he terrible, prostrating, humiliating reaction which follgwg; ilegor Igin~g wih sie violated laws of na ture inflict on the poor body. pier cing it through and through with "aches and pain," premonitory of dissolution: the stj4raiaing.~ the g.4A.pron stings of awakened con science, presaging the "worm that never dies:" the overwhelminperise of shame zt thp priri'ei{n qf his rnanlhoAh the rgiuttering tlimndur and forked. lightning all along the sky. which forebodes the coming storm of diviue wrath, may well be called *'hell." They are. the ample room' hIat og h it IKey tend toward i i the end it: for "no dr'unkard shall inherit the* kingdom of God." A double' tratht is in the last sentence g thafjcu ':he o.# er(exporancvuing the one ~he other is waiting an eternal de inonstration. To9ing men. stuLdy that confes. uC*1; coinunit it to memory ; pinit it aiid frame it in illuminated letters. and hang it in your sleeping-rooms. in your places of business. Write it on the fly-leaf of the Bible your dying mother gave you. Never for. Ig<ai this laconic confession: "Boys. this thing don't pay. It is fun enough while it lasts. but it is ht'// afterwards." I-I.ary .tay DA.-Sidney Smiitl: cut the fellowing from a newvspapei and preserved it for hinself: 'When y~ou rise in the morning form a resolution to make the day a happy one to a folioiw-creature. Ii is casily done; a left off garment t tJhe- c'om-e'~ful, oncenaging c pireasion to the striving--trifles ir themselves light as air-will do il at least for the twenty-four hor's And if you are young, depend upoi it, it will tell wvhen you are old; ani if you are old. rest assured, it send you getJy and happily dowr hesu-eam of time to eternity. B the most simple arithmetieEl surm look at result. If you send one per son, only one, happily through each. day, there are three hundred and si\. ty five in the cotnrao cf 'thq yo-. AndI supposing- you live forty year's onh after you commnence that cou'rse 0: Imedioine, you have made 14.G0C Ibeings happy: at all events for THE BOV rAiEr. Boys ! WhIiat. a worlld of badness is su-g-e-sted by the world --boys. There are no ood bovs. Som. buys ave wvor-se thani other boys, but tihey are all Lad. There arC miiale-wristler-. h:orse-breakers, li on anaehi.r=, sna ke-lhar mers, pilenlty of, themil. The wold Is Full o!' such plole. Ilut the Man o1r VO 11l:111 Will) call tr;aill a boy, anld CoIuer him with kindness, the unli waLy it can be done, is a first eOass natulral curiosity. Somule have even believed that a boy cannot be taied or traiied, but this is a mi-take. TOhere is an old policeman culled "Bijah" in Detroit who is an infallible bov trainer. The old man must have a good heart. A late tough case that came into his hands shows there is a heap of -human nature" ill him. Ile is a janitor at the po liec staition, and a part Uf his business is to pacify and entertain nervous children that are brought inl lost or strayed, or otherwise abused by this pretty r.>Igh world oi children. They come to him howling with terror or- paiii, and i.e has a,1reglar system of pacification. Candy and peanuts generally do it but there ai-e many cases that these simple r-eme0dies will not reaIC. Then he tries throwing thiem up and1 Catchinlig them if h ey are ver- small, or riding them on the Foot il they have arrived at * good jolting age ; whistling and sin iging will mollify some dispo sitions, aid so on. "Bijalh" had never been known to fail. Bat the other da) lie got hold of' a lit tLie chap that taxed all his resour1ces and - was very Ilear proving thaL some boys would not manage. This is the way he (lid it: le was brought in howling aid kicking, and lie iiurnied fromi the sight of a stick of pepperment can dy with a whoop and a yell. Bi. jah then tried whistl ing but t he young reprobat3 spit on him, then whooped the louder. Ofr.l of pop and soda water was responded to by well-aimed kicks and he wasn't to be taken in by the di.-play of a bi! jack-knife or a biocih of i;ey. Wheni al these Itlo thins fs aiiod, and the boy continued to dace up and down, and howl and spit, Bi jah kindly put the hzose on the pen-stock, and offered him the pipe. IIe threw it down, and4 was so mad that he tcat white aroiind the mnouthi. Thien lie was offered the city di rectory, an insuranco picture of Washington ~crossing the Dele ware, and a onc-w h e e I e d eart which had been brought in firm the alley, but he lay flat den- on the goo0 andl his shrieks set every body's hir on end. For moure than one straight bour Bijah rack ed his brains to find means t~o make that littl.ep abant up, and . hy. g.a no hit the thing. Pouring a pailful of water into the guttor he inade a fish-pond, ard theu he bent a pgn j90 h look, got a stick an P pic of string, and seatted t,he boy on theL curb-stone The young rat had begun to ihld in a little as he saw the pr parations goimg forward,a~nd when he took the poio and sat down he Iwas qul0ot as a laimb. For- tw~o long hours lhe '"bobbed" away in that p)ond for trout, heaving a sg now and then. bujt, fecdiing a-a a:Id gerku un p thS pule regularly Iovery ten seconds, aiid at last he fell asleep, loppeCd over, andl xas earr id in: and placed on two ebcairs, to lie there until called for. As Bijah remarked whlen the job was ended : "lIe who Overcomes a boy is greater than lie who slaig s teni thousand meni." MlURMURIUNG. I wa tired of washing disheis: I w~as tired of drudgery. It hadi alwa~ys been so, and I was dissatis tied. I neveLr sat dlown- a imomnent. to read, that Jamie diidn't wanta cake. or a piece of piaper to scrib ble oin, or a hit of soap to make bubbles. '-I'd rather be in priis on"Isid one day, "than to have mly life te'asedl out," as Jlami knocked my elbow. whenu I was w riinig to a friend. But a moi-ning" came when 1 had one pl!ate less to wash. one cbai less to set away by the wall in the dining-room; when Jamiie's little erib was putaa nth art and it has nlovor come down .Since. I had been usually fr-etful and discontented with hi ifm t hi a t damp May mor-ning that lhe took the crouip. Gloomy woithot' gave m the hieadache, and 1 had less p)atienlce bthea n other time. By-and bhewas singing in an other room, "I want to be an angel ; and presently r-ang out that metal [lie co~,... I --m.e.- a thymn Since that it don't cut mie to the heart. r 1. the Croup cough ring out wit.h it. lIe grew worse to Wards night,aid when Imly husbani came luic he went for the doctor. At first he seemed to be helped, but afterwards it morged into in Rllmmatury Croil. and all1 wa soon over. -1oug'iht to have ben (alled s0oner," Said the doctor. I have a servant to -wash the, dishes now ; and when a visitor tOmlles I can sit down :nnd vnii-ta: her without having to wor. IIl the Lime. There k no little boy worrying rme to Open his jack knife, and there are no sha1vings on the floor. The magazines have no finger marks on them. bu,, reminl on tle reading suiud ji.:t as I have them. "Your carpet never looks dirty." said a weary-woman nothei to Me. "Oh! 1,1 I imUttered to myse.1 there are no little boots to dirty it now." But I am very weary with sit Ling in my lonely parlor at twilight Ireary, missing thesoft arms that used to twine around my neck, ror the curls that brushed agaOist my check, fOr the laugh that rar, >ut, as we watihed the firelight. >r made rabbits wit ht the shadow on he wall, waiting for papa's com ng home. I have the wealth arid 3ase I longed for, bitt at what orie? And when I sce other moth ,rs with growing up sons, and my lair silvered over with gray I wish Ahat I hul,l Murnimred less. [I?atimore~ Episcoju' ..lleth oi.. A RACY EXA.MINATION. The following iacy examination )f candidates for admission to, the bar is taken from th a '.ste4rn Law Atwrual. The examination com ruenced with:1 "Do vou smoke --I dIo. 6ir." .Haveou a spare (igar / "Yes, sir." (Extenids a short six.) Now. sir. what is the first duty >f a lawyer,' "To collect fees." "i'liht. What is the second I -To increase the number of "ient s. d "When does the positionl toward alients change: "Whnimaking. .at a bill of 30sts." "Explain." "W'\e then occupy the antaigonis die position. I become the plain biff and he becomes the defendant." "A suit decided. how do you stand v'ith the lawyer on the other sido ? "Cheek, by jon." "Eloh sir. You promsie to accomIe an ornament to your pro session, and I wish you succes. sow, are you awarc ot the dnty you owe~ a ' "Describe it."' "It is to invita vou to drink." -Bu~t suppo.se I decline ?"* Candidate scratches his head. "There is no instance of the kind >nl record in the books. I cannot mnswer the question." "You ar right. And the confi lence with which you make the as sertioni shows conclusively that you read the law attentively. Let's tak i drink, and I will sign the eer:.ifi eate at enes ':" Ca:rvrriA .l PuI Exrnio'sI. Every word that falls from the lips of mothers and sisters especially should be pure, and concise, and simple ;not peals. such as falls from the lips of the princess, but sweet. ,good: words. that little cii dren can gatheri withiout fears of soil. or after shame or lamei. 01 any regrets to pain through :d] the'r life. Children should be taught tle freq1uenit use- of good, strong, ex. pressive words--words that mnean etly what they should express iin ther rop)er places. If aL child, or young p)ersonl, hasa loose flung- together way of string ing wormids wihen endeavoring tc say somecth ing, lie shiould be iladc( to "try again" and see if he canloi do better It is painful to listen to mami girls talk. They begin with a "Mi "oduess!" and interlard it wiW -o' "and "sakes alive !" and "se a::et'."an "so queenly,~ and se. mLuy' silly phtr.tts that one iC temnptedl to believe they have ho] na trai.ning at all, or elso theii mothers were very fooldish womenL There is nothinig 'more disgusting than the twaddle of ill-bred girls; one is- provoked often into taking uip a paper and reading, and letting themif ripple and gurglo on, like brooks that flow the know not whither. My hear't warms with love for sensible girls and pure boys; and. after all, if our1 girls and boys are not this, I fear it is own fault that this great tr'ust rests in the heart and hands of the women of our land. If wve have a noble, nsef'tl purpose in life, we will infuse the right spirit into those around us. L Artha ar's lLome .Uoaanne. ADVERTISINC RATES. e hi -r sthe tic rat of Oe snar. a ),q ricii r, rs msertion, ai i.chunnr edveri sl~eqri9 it eertion. Doub.c entten ver cent on above. of m e rtin$ obi unri;, and rilu u s ie r er 171T re aer Olinuy .eri' al co1;n1 :i cens A not I>er of inrt ions wil be with the num and eilar.cd accord:ngly. :tw forbw Specia contrcts male With tucrs, w iral d 0ducious on a eI-PRU.W, .O Done with Neatuess mi DispatcL. Trerms ca. AN EINTEXPRIING CORO l}uter. wheln Ve knew him. was Cor1ner up in \\ lliamsport. BUS1ess that Winter vas dread fit! dIJ. -Nobody .1ied suddenly or wa. ' rowned or urdered. awad 13utchet nut only : nothing to do, but e no es. and wIs poor as Wan W - hit:nIaii's poetry. ud lely a mania or committing sui,:dc by poison seemed to bre.k out :u ng t h e p i e*. Owni.fed hereLf with strychni":;; both the Sni,t giris stuffed them selves with arei ; Aleck Jones tock a dose of laudan ,In: John Son's colorcal gir swallowedsome bug PoiSon, -ind Mrs. M"Lu-)hyN 's little son ato fbir boxes of phos phorous matches. These tragic events occurred at intervals of a few days, and in each case no sooner were the fLs dicoVered than Dr. Buiin was at once on handl with his stomach pump. Ile emptied Mrs. Brown al! of a sud den; he pumpetd out the Smith girls; he tore the laudanm out of Jones; he separated the i;oison from the colored girl, and he .r 1y turned Mrs. Mu rph'ys boy wrong side out. A!,: of them re covered. The coroner viewed these proceedings with regret. le went to Bumm and suggested that he would give 8100 if the doctor would cluse out his pump. i (l 0 dollars more it he would go out of town ior four weeks. The coro ner said he did ot wish to b:e ob trusive, but was tired of having doctors medd!e with his business. Then Drt. B3uimm afirmed that he would iot only not seli and not lev tw but whenCI the next posonn case occurred hie would buy a te-un enughie. attach it to theC mlach:e an up the patient througho1~ut the 'uicnding ages of all etern ity if he wan ted to. That night Butcher b:ribed the doctor's boy to briug himn the pump; fer a few min utes. IThen he rubbed .somei itro '"lyuerine around the end of the piston and .'ent it back. The next da Miar Jane Ml(uire took ox:llc aci. T he doctor came; rt ed the apparatus down herTNintag-plungeil' Iis ton down. A; np, a sh rick, a loud oxylosioni, and ~l ey. Jane, 'oh ! where was shet ? Forty-seven pieces of her were I>uud, a:ti they picked up twelve fragmnts of the d.ctor, so the c:ooer lad a chanc forfiftynineinge, tile 'fees of which enabled ima to buy a barrel of flour, get h is wagon fixed, anid give his wife a pink silk dress. lie was the most en terprisinlg coroner they had in Williamsport.-Philad':! ,<ia Sat urday E'rening Post. "How's T'::ss ?"-There isa doe tor in this eiPy who has a speaking tube leading from the main en trance of his building to his ofiice, Fwhich is up just a few ilights. For several days past, a smart y-oung wag, named Swartz. has amused himself by calling for the doctor through the pipe, and then profane. ly ordering him to set out on an ex cursion to Tartar-us. For some time, this fun was taken in good part, unil the flue humor of the joke ]2o longer b eamae apparent. Accordingly. one afternoon, the dis ciple of Esculapius provided him self with a tea-kettle of watr-r.heated to about 210 degreces Fahr-enheit, and waited alongside the pipe. Pretty soonl the old, familliar sound .camne up throutgh the pi.. "Sav. doe.. how's Tricks K' '-Tricks is better nwIguess hell gtwell.' resp)onde the oe tor, reachng ot after the tea--ket tie-. jetiemtr -What's be th mterwith hin 2' Hle's grot bunt. -I'll tell you in2 a ni:ti. -Oh. you go to--. The doctor had tilihd his last sentence. and then let a g~uart of scalding water dLown the pipe. .Sw~artz hiad his mouth over it. and when the water struckc it. he was somewh:at surprised. Water was apt to surprise him. bxt het water wa an uue)JxpecCted novelty. The mlan :tbove proure-d in the wa r' for abtoat4 a? minte, and then 0n th'id-i' a pretty lively gat. haing" 2'i lenly just got up from' " stting~ po'tre. HIe was trying to yel! --oic." but couldn't Aboueat ha an hour'' af:erw.ard. he <intin . -Di that bol: ;'.plosion hurt n ody n /'r.imj. oCend rnia nan tidoned