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On the Job. Small Boy (to doctor about to assist tlderly lady in fainting fit)?Stand aside, please, and don't be alarmed. I'll attend to this. I'm a boy scoutPunch. A Reason. * / TF ) II- 4PW I i Hammond?Why do you take your [wife so often to see the moving pic' tares? | Wayburn?I want to impress on her ! taind that actions speak louder than i .words.?Chicago News. jjL / . Saw the Wagon. "0b' Fm a gSy CJ "Better look ^"2^ "For what?" ^1^ m[V. "The dog catch8fey er. He's just 8|$. mf tjtk around the cor B5Bl The Difference. ! ' Mrs. Borden Lodge?So you've been hoarding with Mrs. Hammond Eggs! Bhe always pretends that she doesn't fc*nn hAamlarv kWwuiuviut The New Boarder?Quite right She takes boarders, but she doesn't keep ? Philadelphia Bulletin. At the Eighteenth. Patient Host (after repeated thumps i ~nm belowl?I say. old chap, the tun- | xtel idea is all right, but I think you'll j find this is the quickest way to the ! clubhouse!?Punch. > i The Reason. V < -If 1 **Why meet yon have a finger In eviwy Pier' | MJust to keep my hand in.** .#* .o t SELECTJ0LLIN8S Oil For Battleships. The last American battleship that will burn coal has been built. The big ones now building have no coal bunkers and no arrangement for burning coal. They are oil burners. "What is the advantage?" I asked a United States naval officer. "There are many advantages in oil," he replied. "First we can steam farther with a given number of tons of oil than with tne same numoer 01 ions 01 cuai. We can also store the oil more advantageously, for it -will fill corners in a ship where coal could not be placed. "A very big advantage, however, is in the reduced number of men required to handle the boilers. One man with oil j can take the place of four men shovel[ iug coal. Usually the oil is sprayed into the furnace, but there are several methods of applying the oil." This officer said that .the United States will have some very valuable oiling stations in Alaska. Arrangements are already making to establish oiling stations in place of coaling stations in various other parts of the world.?Philadelphia Ledger. k;>. cw Roses in the Day's Work. | To the attention of those persons who believe they have done all they should do when they have worked the specified number of hours and performed the duties specified in their bonds the example of W. H. Bancroft, vice president of the Salt Lake road, is respectfully referred. When Mr. Bancroft was a younger man he acted as agent at a way station in a deserted part of the west. One day the president of the road happened to stop and noticed, to his surprise, that instead of the usual bare surroundings the small shack was literally set in a bower of roses. He went inside, took a look at Bancroft, got his name and put him down for promotion. "A man who will take such care of company property would be a good man in a higher place," he said as the train pulled out. And Mr. Bancroft has been going higher ever since. There are a good many ways of planting roses about our everyday work. Anyway, it's an experiment worth the trying.?New York American. Family Baseball. Charley Smith, father of Ben Smith, partner of Hugh Jennings on the vaudeville stage, practically introduced semiprofessional baseball into Newark, N. J. Charley Smith caught for a semiprofessional team, while 3en played right field. This is one of the few cases where a father and son played on the same outfit There are only two other instances we can recall. 0*e is when Jim O'Rourke. the old Giant, played with his son on the Bridgeport team in the Connecticut league. The other is when the father of Kid Carsey, the old Philadelphia and St. Louis pitcher, taught the Kid to pitch when he was a youngster pitching for semipro teams around New York and vicinity. Carsey senior was the Kid's catcher. New Zealand Exposition. Auckland is making vigorous prepa- I ration for an industrial, agricultural and mining exposition, to be opened on Dec. 1 next. Sinee the last exhibition was held, in 1S99. the population of Auckland has doubled, and the city is today the metropolis of New Zealand and one of the most important ports in Australasia. Although the coming exposition is not advertised as "international," every attention will be given to exhibits coming from abroad. The United States has a total aunual trade with New Zealand of about $10,750,000. The value of its exports to this country for 1911 was $8,200,029, which amount will be exceeded by the value of the exports for 1912.?Consular and Trade Iteports. Not Enough Goatskins. The present demand lor goat kid skins exceed* anything of the kind before known, and the remotest places in India, South America and Europe and everywhere else goats are kept are now visited by collectors to obtain them. This demand arises from the recent discovery of new methods of treating the skins, which not only make them a substitute for calf kid as shoe leather, but also render them suitable for us in dress trimming. When specially dyed and finished they find great favor with dressmakers and are used for vests, strappings, pipings, blouses and even for underskirts for country wear. They also play a part in recent millinery.?New York Tribune. Coined "Home Rule." In view of the passage of the home rule bill by the house of commons it is j interesting to recall the beginning of j that movement. According to Barry ' O'Brien, author of "The Life of Charles J Stewart Parnell," it was at a meeting I at the Bilton hotel, Dublin, in 1S70 that j the movement was launched, and it 1 was Isaac Butt counsel for the Fenian j prisoners, who invented the phrase j ' home rule." He thought these words j reasonable and innocent while the old j cry of "Repeal!" would frighten the English.?New York Sup. Japanese Students and Religion. A religious census at the Imperial uni- j versitv in Tokyo has revealed the fact j that more than 4.000 of the students j frankly declared themselves either | atheists or agnostics. Only eight desired j to record their allegiance to Shinto, j Fifty were Buddhists, and sixty were Christians. ????Ii^??1 Piling It Up. Tlie Householder?Can't you do something to kill the echo in this garden? The Landscape Gardener?? think it adds charm to the spot. The Householder?But I spend a great deal of time here with my wife, and it doubles everything she saysChicago News. Of Course. Earlie?Why does the eye have lashes, pa? His Pa?Because it has a pupil, my son.?St Louis Globe-Democrat makes trouble." $t}\{ to keeP drowning Not Necessary. Philanthropist?Now, you boy, why don't you give that man a hand? Boy?Give 'im a 'and! Why, it's going of its own accord.?Punch. His Right of Locality. "The Canadian actor who joined the company this season is bothering the managers to give him the chief role in their new polar play as his right." "What right does he claim?" "Says he is a north star."?Pele Mele. A Bid For Help. *l>on't you love moonlight nights?" "Yes. but I can't love them alone." HONOR OFTHE DAT The Pillow. On a sofa at twilight a wee debutante Ilehl a pillow, a pillow, a pillow. And I said to her: "Little one, what do you want With a pillow, a pillow, a pillow? Is it longing for company makes you adhere To that bundle of cotton and tapestry - queer?" But she spoke not a word as she snuggled up near Her pillow, her pillow, her pillow. I mused to myself as .she sat there alone: 4<TV ? tViot tm 11 mi* that nil low! Why, I surely should have the respect she has shown To a pillow, a pillow, a pillow!" For here was a chance that I never should miss, With the time and the place and the prin cess like this! And my heart went ker-thump! when I thought of the bliss Of the pillow, the pillow, the' pillow. So I cried, "I am sure as I look at your face And the pillow, the pillow, the pillow, That you wouldn't object if I traded my place With your pillow, your pillow, ^our pillow!" Now, although the fair maiden protested some more, 'Twas a dangerous spot for a young bachelor, But I fought for my rights, and I threw on the floor < .. Her pillow, her pillow, her pillow! _ ?Puck. ? ?L-. Classified. One of our best known astronomers was talking about the difficulties and intricacies that astronomy presents to the lay mind. "For instance," he said, "there is the story of the meteorite that fell on an Essex farm a year ago. It was a valuable meteorite, and the landlord claimed it at once. " 'All minerals and metals on the land belong to me,' he said. 'That's in the lease.' "But the tenant demurred. 'This meteorite,' he said, 'wasn't on the farm, you must remember, when the lease was drawn up.' "This was certainly a poser, but the landlord was equal to the occasion, for he promptly retorted, 'Well, then, I claim' it as flying game.' "But the tenant was ready for him. 'It's got neither wings nor feathers,' he said. 'Therefore as ground game it is mine.' "How long they would have contin ued their argument I cannot say, for at that moment a revenue officer came up and proceeded to take possession of the meteorite. 'Because,' said he, it is an article introduced into this country without payment of duty.' "?Weekly Telegraph. Applied Christianity. Because he had been a naughty little boy?a very naughty little boy?he was sent to bed without any pudd'ng. But in the evening, when his brothers and sisters all were fast asleep, he crept downstairs, a tearful little white robed figure, and, going into the library, said to his mother: "Mummy, you told me never to go to sleep till I'd made peace with my enemies, so I've come down to forgive you and daddy for being so rude to me at dinner tonight."?Tit-Bits. The Comeback. A little boy, seeing a gentleman in the street, placed himself in a con / - 1 ~ 1- W V.*,,-, vemeru piace iu v?uu mm. When the gentleman came up the boy pulled off his hat, held it out to the gentleman and begged for a few cents. "Money!" said the gentleman. "You had better ask for manners than money." "I asked," said the boy. "for what I thought you had the most of."?Life. And Then the Deluge. A young Canadian went to London last winter and was making a call upon a very pretty young woman whom he had met there for the first time. "Do you have reindeer in Canada?" asked the young lady. "Xo, darling." he answered. "At this season it always snows."?Answers. Her Mind Made Up. "A horse trainer." says a racing man, ! "should be prepared to meet every contingency and every emergency. He should be like the young lady who said, 'I don't intend to be married till I'm over twenty-three, and I don't intend, either, to be over twenty-three till I'm married.' "?Exchange. Every Moment Counted. Elihu Root was cross examining a young woman in court one day. "IIow old are you?" he asked. The young woman hesitated. "Don't hesitate." said Mr. Root. "The longer you hesitate the older you are."?Ladies' Home Journal. What She Did. "What did you do when he kissed you?holler for help?" "Xo; I hollered for witnesses."? j Cleveland Plain Dealer. Poultry Note. "Did you ever dress a chicken?" "No. My girls are all boys. But I | understand it costs a heap of money." ?Houston Post. Couldn't Oblige. j ITer?I wonder how it feels to have whiskers on one's face. Him?Aw. pshaw, I just had a shave! ?Chaparral. / Of Course. "Big hands are a sign of generosity." says a Chicago physician. Nature's generosity, eh??St. Paul Dispatch. New Afternoon Costume. Illustrated here is one of the advane ed models which the shops are show LACE AND CHARMBUSE GOWN. ing for afternoon wear. The gown i of lace over white charmeuse, wit satin flowers at the waist and a sas of black velvet ribbon. Graceful Sashes. There are many kinds of sashes The watteau sash is attached to th shoulders and hangs straight to withi: six or eight inches of the hem, wher it is looped up. The prelate sash ei] * ' " J-1- ^ " ?? '1 A ? /v ?n A V> Circles cue waist, uuuunem is imtn> over "stock" fashion to haug strnigh There are broad sasbes suggesting th Japanese obi. Other sashes have ; fiat pump bow or buckle to clasp thee in the back. Smart Coats. Side by side with the smart Russia: blouse which is so becoming to th slim, tall figure are the extremel, short cutaway coat and the short be lero fronted, habit basqued Louis X\ coatee. Long coats have slim, straight line.5 with their fronts rounded off and broa shawl collars. LIGHT AND FLEXIBLE SPRING HATS j Mads of Such Materials a Chip and Japanese Straw. of^nn. mon-r th IVi I*ic UJUUJ v/4. lu modish hats this spring and, owing t its lightness of weight and flexible te.\ ture, bids fair to crowd some of th other straws into the background. White chip shapes, velvet trimmed are numerous and often very attrac tive. They are fashioned with close upturned brims and rounds crowns | One French milliner has used thes< shapes with no trimming save artistn ' knots and upstanding loops of velve ribbon. A turban of white chip had the edgi of the rolled brim trimmed with blacl velvet about three-quarters of an incl in width, while at the right side fron | it was ornamented with a knot and higl standing wired loops of the velvet t< I give the proper height. Included in the same display was th< smartest <;f little French hats in whit< chip on turban lines, with the rolle< brim faced with black velvet. Direct ly in front was placed the new dagge ornament of jet. The same milliner also showed a ha of chip much on the line of the rol brim French sailor, with brim rollim slightly upward, but much longer a the back than at the front sides. There was 110 trimming save litth bunches of tiny roses, set closely to get her all around the low round crown No two bunches were the same color but they covered the range of all tin delicate tints, melting into each otlie: without a single jarring note. Thi: model was simple enough so far a: line was concerned, but an infallible color sense was needed for the sue cessful shading of the floral trimming Another hat, narrower of brim am more aggressive, was of chip. It wa: built much on the order of the Englisl walking hat, but the outline was sof tened by a dull blue ostrich feathei which encircled the crown. One larg< feather was poised directly at the fron of the crown. Touches of cerise appear in tin spring millinery, and in some cases tlx entire hat is made of cerise. A jaunty small shape had a full crown of cerise taffeta, and a large bow of cerise taf feta trimmed the back of the hat. Tlx | turned up brim was of cerise straw. Fashionable Colors. j The popular colors are named fron j vegetables?artichoke, radish pink, let tuce green, potato brown, eggplant pur i fomntn renrf enrrot vellnw fire very much in favor. Some of the most charming costumei are fashioned by combining dark blu< with white or silver and adding a flna tonch by pipings of cerise, orange o: | canary. A Hint. f Staylate (11:30 p. m.)?If there is anything I didlike it's catching trains. Miss Sweet?I notice you keep putting it off.?St Louis Globe-Democrat "She's so proud man's race once." k hE- f* fiST f j i >Spenditt?Here's that dollar 1 borrowed of you yesterday. 5 Lenditt?Keep it, old chap, keep it. I c] don't want you to ask me for any more! ?Chicago News. Got Off Easy. Caller?How much for a marriage 11Q cense? * Town Clerk?One dollar. ' Caller?I've only got 50 cents. 1 Town Clerk?You're lucky.?Phila1 delpkia Bulletin. :> e Sufficient Reason. e "Why do you 1 wish to get a di- Ay T vorce?" mUr r "I am so fond of strawberry 1 "What's that j/fy ^ r got to do with Qy t i your married .? "I'lease, your honor, my wife ^r/^insists on giving /v^if (iV me prune pie ev- J jl / I U ? ery day in the A. // \ I r strawberry sea^ "Granted! That lay 3 is cruel and un- ^ usual punish- ragSffij&W'' "5 j The Psychological Moment. r Growler (to distressed harrier)?Keh, | eir??FuucIl