The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, March 12, 1913, Image 3
On the Job.
Small Boy (to doctor about to assist
tlderly lady in fainting fit)?Stand
aside, please, and don't be alarmed.
I'll attend to this. I'm a boy scoutPunch.
A Reason.
* / TF )
II- 4PW
I
i Hammond?Why do you take your
[wife so often to see the moving pic'
tares?
| Wayburn?I want to impress on her
! taind that actions speak louder than
i .words.?Chicago News.
jjL / . Saw the Wagon.
"0b' Fm a gSy
CJ "Better look
^"2^ "For what?"
^1^ m[V. "The dog catch8fey
er. He's just
8|$. mf tjtk around the cor B5Bl
The Difference.
!
' Mrs. Borden Lodge?So you've been
hoarding with Mrs. Hammond Eggs!
Bhe always pretends that she doesn't
fc*nn hAamlarv
kWwuiuviut
The New Boarder?Quite right She
takes boarders, but she doesn't keep
? Philadelphia Bulletin.
At the Eighteenth.
Patient Host (after repeated thumps i
~nm belowl?I say. old chap, the tun- |
xtel idea is all right, but I think you'll j
find this is the quickest way to the !
clubhouse!?Punch.
>
i
The Reason.
V <
-If 1
**Why meet yon have a finger In eviwy
Pier' |
MJust to keep my hand in.** .#* .o
t
SELECTJ0LLIN8S
Oil For Battleships.
The last American battleship that
will burn coal has been built. The big
ones now building have no coal bunkers
and no arrangement for burning
coal. They are oil burners.
"What is the advantage?" I asked a
United States naval officer.
"There are many advantages in oil,"
he replied. "First we can steam farther
with a given number of tons of oil than
with tne same numoer 01 ions 01 cuai.
We can also store the oil more advantageously,
for it -will fill corners in a
ship where coal could not be placed.
"A very big advantage, however, is in
the reduced number of men required to
handle the boilers. One man with oil
j can take the place of four men shovel[
iug coal. Usually the oil is sprayed
into the furnace, but there are several
methods of applying the oil."
This officer said that .the United
States will have some very valuable
oiling stations in Alaska. Arrangements
are already making to establish
oiling stations in place of coaling stations
in various other parts of the
world.?Philadelphia Ledger.
k;>.
cw
Roses in the Day's Work.
| To the attention of those persons who
believe they have done all they should
do when they have worked the specified
number of hours and performed
the duties specified in their bonds the
example of W. H. Bancroft, vice president
of the Salt Lake road, is respectfully
referred.
When Mr. Bancroft was a younger
man he acted as agent at a way station
in a deserted part of the west. One
day the president of the road happened
to stop and noticed, to his surprise, that
instead of the usual bare surroundings
the small shack was literally set in a
bower of roses. He went inside, took a
look at Bancroft, got his name and put
him down for promotion.
"A man who will take such care of
company property would be a good
man in a higher place," he said as the
train pulled out. And Mr. Bancroft
has been going higher ever since.
There are a good many ways of planting
roses about our everyday work.
Anyway, it's an experiment worth the
trying.?New York American.
Family Baseball.
Charley Smith, father of Ben Smith,
partner of Hugh Jennings on the vaudeville
stage, practically introduced semiprofessional
baseball into Newark, N. J.
Charley Smith caught for a semiprofessional
team, while 3en played right
field. This is one of the few cases
where a father and son played on the
same outfit There are only two other
instances we can recall. 0*e is when
Jim O'Rourke. the old Giant, played
with his son on the Bridgeport team in
the Connecticut league. The other is
when the father of Kid Carsey, the old
Philadelphia and St. Louis pitcher,
taught the Kid to pitch when he was a
youngster pitching for semipro teams
around New York and vicinity. Carsey
senior was the Kid's catcher.
New Zealand Exposition.
Auckland is making vigorous prepa- I
ration for an industrial, agricultural
and mining exposition, to be opened on
Dec. 1 next. Sinee the last exhibition
was held, in 1S99. the population of
Auckland has doubled, and the city is
today the metropolis of New Zealand
and one of the most important ports in
Australasia. Although the coming exposition
is not advertised as "international,"
every attention will be given
to exhibits coming from abroad. The
United States has a total aunual trade
with New Zealand of about $10,750,000.
The value of its exports to this country
for 1911 was $8,200,029, which
amount will be exceeded by the value
of the exports for 1912.?Consular and
Trade Iteports.
Not Enough Goatskins.
The present demand lor goat kid
skins exceed* anything of the kind before
known, and the remotest places
in India, South America and Europe
and everywhere else goats are kept are
now visited by collectors to obtain
them. This demand arises from the
recent discovery of new methods of
treating the skins, which not only
make them a substitute for calf kid
as shoe leather, but also render them
suitable for us in dress trimming.
When specially dyed and finished they
find great favor with dressmakers and
are used for vests, strappings, pipings,
blouses and even for underskirts for
country wear. They also play a part
in recent millinery.?New York Tribune.
Coined "Home Rule."
In view of the passage of the home
rule bill by the house of commons it is j
interesting to recall the beginning of j
that movement. According to Barry '
O'Brien, author of "The Life of Charles J
Stewart Parnell," it was at a meeting I
at the Bilton hotel, Dublin, in 1S70 that j
the movement was launched, and it 1
was Isaac Butt counsel for the Fenian j
prisoners, who invented the phrase j
' home rule." He thought these words j
reasonable and innocent while the old j
cry of "Repeal!" would frighten the
English.?New York Sup.
Japanese Students and Religion.
A religious census at the Imperial uni- j
versitv in Tokyo has revealed the fact j
that more than 4.000 of the students j
frankly declared themselves either |
atheists or agnostics. Only eight desired j
to record their allegiance to Shinto, j
Fifty were Buddhists, and sixty were
Christians.
????Ii^??1
Piling It Up.
Tlie Householder?Can't you do something
to kill the echo in this garden?
The Landscape Gardener?? think it
adds charm to the spot.
The Householder?But I spend a
great deal of time here with my wife,
and it doubles everything she saysChicago
News.
Of Course.
Earlie?Why does the eye have lashes,
pa?
His Pa?Because it has a pupil, my
son.?St Louis Globe-Democrat
makes trouble."
$t}\{ to keeP drowning
Not Necessary.
Philanthropist?Now, you boy, why
don't you give that man a hand?
Boy?Give 'im a 'and! Why, it's
going of its own accord.?Punch.
His Right of Locality.
"The Canadian actor who joined the
company this season is bothering the
managers to give him the chief role in
their new polar play as his right."
"What right does he claim?"
"Says he is a north star."?Pele Mele.
A Bid For Help.
*l>on't you love moonlight nights?"
"Yes. but I can't love them alone."
HONOR OFTHE DAT
The Pillow.
On a sofa at twilight a wee debutante
Ilehl a pillow, a pillow, a pillow.
And I said to her: "Little one, what do
you want
With a pillow, a pillow, a pillow?
Is it longing for company makes you adhere
To that bundle of cotton and tapestry
- queer?"
But she spoke not a word as she snuggled
up near
Her pillow, her pillow, her pillow.
I mused to myself as .she sat there alone:
4<TV ? tViot tm 11 mi* that nil
low!
Why, I surely should have the respect she
has shown
To a pillow, a pillow, a pillow!"
For here was a chance that I never should
miss,
With the time and the place and the prin
cess like this!
And my heart went ker-thump! when I
thought of the bliss
Of the pillow, the pillow, the' pillow.
So I cried, "I am sure as I look at your
face
And the pillow, the pillow, the pillow,
That you wouldn't object if I traded my
place
With your pillow, your pillow, ^our pillow!"
Now, although the fair maiden protested
some more,
'Twas a dangerous spot for a young bachelor,
But I fought for my rights, and I threw
on the floor < ..
Her pillow, her pillow, her pillow!
_ ?Puck.
? ?L-.
Classified.
One of our best known astronomers
was talking about the difficulties and
intricacies that astronomy presents to
the lay mind.
"For instance," he said, "there is the
story of the meteorite that fell on an
Essex farm a year ago. It was a valuable
meteorite, and the landlord claimed
it at once.
" 'All minerals and metals on the
land belong to me,' he said. 'That's in
the lease.'
"But the tenant demurred. 'This meteorite,'
he said, 'wasn't on the farm,
you must remember, when the lease
was drawn up.'
"This was certainly a poser, but the
landlord was equal to the occasion, for
he promptly retorted, 'Well, then, I
claim' it as flying game.'
"But the tenant was ready for him.
'It's got neither wings nor feathers,' he
said. 'Therefore as ground game it is
mine.'
"How long they would have contin
ued their argument I cannot say, for at
that moment a revenue officer came up
and proceeded to take possession of
the meteorite. 'Because,' said he, it is
an article introduced into this country
without payment of duty.' "?Weekly
Telegraph.
Applied Christianity.
Because he had been a naughty little
boy?a very naughty little boy?he was
sent to bed without any pudd'ng. But
in the evening, when his brothers and
sisters all were fast asleep, he crept
downstairs, a tearful little white robed
figure, and, going into the library, said
to his mother:
"Mummy, you told me never to go to
sleep till I'd made peace with my enemies,
so I've come down to forgive
you and daddy for being so rude to me
at dinner tonight."?Tit-Bits.
The Comeback.
A little boy, seeing a gentleman in
the street, placed himself in a con
/ - 1 ~ 1- W V.*,,-,
vemeru piace iu v?uu mm.
When the gentleman came up the boy
pulled off his hat, held it out to the
gentleman and begged for a few cents.
"Money!" said the gentleman. "You
had better ask for manners than money."
"I asked," said the boy. "for what I
thought you had the most of."?Life.
And Then the Deluge.
A young Canadian went to London
last winter and was making a call
upon a very pretty young woman
whom he had met there for the first
time.
"Do you have reindeer in Canada?"
asked the young lady.
"Xo, darling." he answered. "At this
season it always snows."?Answers.
Her Mind Made Up.
"A horse trainer." says a racing man,
! "should be prepared to meet every contingency
and every emergency. He
should be like the young lady who
said, 'I don't intend to be married till
I'm over twenty-three, and I don't intend,
either, to be over twenty-three
till I'm married.' "?Exchange.
Every Moment Counted.
Elihu Root was cross examining a
young woman in court one day. "IIow
old are you?" he asked. The young
woman hesitated. "Don't hesitate."
said Mr. Root. "The longer you hesitate
the older you are."?Ladies' Home
Journal.
What She Did.
"What did you do when he kissed
you?holler for help?"
"Xo; I hollered for witnesses."?
j Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Poultry Note.
"Did you ever dress a chicken?"
"No. My girls are all boys. But I
| understand it costs a heap of money."
?Houston Post.
Couldn't Oblige.
j ITer?I wonder how it feels to have
whiskers on one's face.
Him?Aw. pshaw, I just had a shave!
?Chaparral.
/
Of Course.
"Big hands are a sign of generosity."
says a Chicago physician.
Nature's generosity, eh??St. Paul
Dispatch.
New Afternoon Costume.
Illustrated here is one of the advane
ed models which the shops are show
LACE AND CHARMBUSE GOWN.
ing for afternoon wear. The gown i
of lace over white charmeuse, wit
satin flowers at the waist and a sas
of black velvet ribbon.
Graceful Sashes.
There are many kinds of sashes
The watteau sash is attached to th
shoulders and hangs straight to withi:
six or eight inches of the hem, wher
it is looped up. The prelate sash ei]
* ' " J-1- ^ " ?? '1 A ? /v ?n A V>
Circles cue waist, uuuunem is imtn>
over "stock" fashion to haug strnigh
There are broad sasbes suggesting th
Japanese obi. Other sashes have ;
fiat pump bow or buckle to clasp thee
in the back.
Smart Coats.
Side by side with the smart Russia:
blouse which is so becoming to th
slim, tall figure are the extremel,
short cutaway coat and the short be
lero fronted, habit basqued Louis X\
coatee.
Long coats have slim, straight line.5
with their fronts rounded off and broa
shawl collars.
LIGHT AND FLEXIBLE
SPRING HATS
j Mads of Such Materials a
Chip and Japanese Straw.
of^nn. mon-r th
IVi I*ic UJUUJ v/4. lu
modish hats this spring and, owing t
its lightness of weight and flexible te.\
ture, bids fair to crowd some of th
other straws into the background.
White chip shapes, velvet trimmed
are numerous and often very attrac
tive. They are fashioned with close
upturned brims and rounds crowns
| One French milliner has used thes<
shapes with no trimming save artistn
' knots and upstanding loops of velve
ribbon.
A turban of white chip had the edgi
of the rolled brim trimmed with blacl
velvet about three-quarters of an incl
in width, while at the right side fron
| it was ornamented with a knot and higl
standing wired loops of the velvet t<
I give the proper height.
Included in the same display was th<
smartest <;f little French hats in whit<
chip on turban lines, with the rolle<
brim faced with black velvet. Direct
ly in front was placed the new dagge
ornament of jet.
The same milliner also showed a ha
of chip much on the line of the rol
brim French sailor, with brim rollim
slightly upward, but much longer a
the back than at the front sides.
There was 110 trimming save litth
bunches of tiny roses, set closely to
get her all around the low round crown
No two bunches were the same color
but they covered the range of all tin
delicate tints, melting into each otlie:
without a single jarring note. Thi:
model was simple enough so far a:
line was concerned, but an infallible
color sense was needed for the sue
cessful shading of the floral trimming
Another hat, narrower of brim am
more aggressive, was of chip. It wa:
built much on the order of the Englisl
walking hat, but the outline was sof
tened by a dull blue ostrich feathei
which encircled the crown. One larg<
feather was poised directly at the fron
of the crown.
Touches of cerise appear in tin
spring millinery, and in some cases tlx
entire hat is made of cerise. A jaunty
small shape had a full crown of cerise
taffeta, and a large bow of cerise taf
feta trimmed the back of the hat. Tlx
| turned up brim was of cerise straw.
Fashionable Colors.
j The popular colors are named fron
j vegetables?artichoke, radish pink, let
tuce green, potato brown, eggplant pur
i fomntn renrf enrrot vellnw fire
very much in favor.
Some of the most charming costumei
are fashioned by combining dark blu<
with white or silver and adding a flna
tonch by pipings of cerise, orange o:
| canary.
A Hint.
f
Staylate (11:30 p. m.)?If there is anything
I didlike it's catching trains.
Miss Sweet?I notice you keep putting
it off.?St Louis Globe-Democrat
"She's so proud
man's race once."
k hE- f*
fiST f j i
>Spenditt?Here's
that dollar 1 borrowed
of you yesterday.
5 Lenditt?Keep it, old chap, keep it. I
c] don't want you to ask me for any more!
?Chicago News.
Got Off Easy.
Caller?How much for a marriage 11Q
cense?
* Town Clerk?One dollar.
' Caller?I've only got 50 cents.
1 Town Clerk?You're lucky.?Phila1
delpkia Bulletin.
:>
e Sufficient Reason.
e "Why do you
1 wish to get a di- Ay T
vorce?" mUr
r "I am so fond
of strawberry
1 "What's that j/fy ^
r got to do with Qy
t i your married
.? "I'lease, your
honor, my wife ^r/^insists
on giving /v^if (iV
me prune pie ev- J jl / I U
? ery day in the A. // \ I
r strawberry sea^
"Granted! That lay
3 is cruel and un- ^
usual punish- ragSffij&W''
"5
j The Psychological Moment.
r Growler (to distressed harrier)?Keh,
| eir??FuucIl