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?Wife Proposes to Visjt+ler Moth ! er, Who ls Victim of Accident SAMUEL HAS HIS OWN .VAY. "^.t3fi'??'5? "'MrY.TSbwsoFi' Protests, ho IX Finishes Se!.: Imposed Task, Forget i ting Nothing-Cat ls on to Philoso 1 pher'a Game. J By M. QUAD. iCopyrlffht. 1901?. by Associated Literary - Press.] "^j^^Bt?- BOWSER, you will have ' *|WBT t0 come borne at once. 1 A A' bav-e" a telegram from il'.' I J. .. mother saying that she has run a fork through her) foot and wants me tb:come up "there at once. 1 want zo get away on the 5 O'clock train, and 1 shall take my trunk along." : Such was the message Mr. Bowser .received over the telephone at mid vaft?rhoon, and he waited only to reply: ' "What In thunder was she tramp ling around on forks in her bare feet for?" Mrs. Bowser had. not .been feeling ?well for a week, and the news upset .ber. He got home to And her lying ' down as she waited. "This is a pretty how-de-do. I must say," he blurted out almost as he got inside the door. "But it can't be helped. What makes it.worse is'that'this ls cook's day out. ?She went Just before the telegram caine." . ? i^ang the cook! What's she got to do with- it?" "She could do my packing." 1 "Not on your life! I am right here to do lt myself. I blame the old lady "IU1S ZS A PBBITT HOW-DE-DO, I MUST SAT." for walking around ou forks when she could*Jhave .just as well walked on .. rnothlng vox" the. kind. ^y. -* t'ttiave; come home for. av " .?dis and runs,; a .pitch r , /(wt, and gives you a \:?r??t^??&a&. and it'.you.'go.to'fool **h _ffie packing you won't get ,a week. ' You are ready to now. I wonder if it was a three tined pitchfork?' ^H?tf can ?hiW % . *Tn>bably -was : and. Is suire to result ... .: in tetanus. Only thing on earth that .could lock her ja vs. I know what you jurant; in the trunk, and you Ile right where you are." '"3ut, Mr., Bowser" "There are no buts to it I pack the *? ;trtmk or I telegraph that you are too JO to come,' and your mother must -whisper her last words into a phono graph. You'll probably be np there a week, and 111. put in. the duds ac ;<ordingly." .... I Mrs. Bowser realized, but she was .helpless. She tm Tied her face.to the : 'wall,' and Mr. Bowser went ahead. She heard him pulling out bureau drawers and opening boxes and taking t garments off the hooks, and as he ! work 3d he hummed the air; of "The E Old Oaken Bucket" to himself to show .that he was enjoying thj occasion. Two or three times she asked him .if he .was putting in this or that, and bis reply was: . "Now, don't yon worry. Everything -.?wilL be put in in the best shape. Yon Way be thankful that you've got such .... .ft husband as I am.". j The trunk was finally filled, and the ild was shut down, and Mr.. Bowser ,. jumped on lt until it would close. He I was warned not to break the hinges, tint chuckled and said: -r^f?Tbe binges are all right, and I'll put the key in your purse. I was pack ing trunks before you were born. I . will now gd out and, get a carriage, and we will drive to the depot. As ??on as you get up there you'd better telegraph me what kind of a fork it . was. If it was a pitchfork then she must have been loading hay. If she'a conscious you can give her my love." , Mr. Bowser was Just going through the gate when a telegraph boy handed him a telegram which read:; "You needn't come. AH a: mistake.'' . "And now what do you make of this?' be asked as he showed lt to Hrs. Bowser.. "Why-why. lt's rather funny.''. ; "By the seven mules, but I should .ay it was! First, your mother tele Nnnnally's celebrated candy by j .z press. Penn& Holstein. Have you- seen Stuart's clipping machines. Call at our store and ex amine them-just what? you have been wanting. Stewart & Eernaghan. j.grapns you that she has stuck a fork Into her foot and to come; second, she telegraphs that it is all a mistake arid you needn't come. Doesn't sbe know whether she runs a fork iuto her foot or not?" . "She ought to." / "Was it some one else's foot? -Was lt a fork or a crowbar or what? I am hurried home to pack your trunk. I do pack lt Now. it proves to be la bor thrown away. By John. I'll talk to that woman if I ever see her agam?" "She -will probably write particulars. As the girl is out and I'm not feeling welL ccddn't you go to a restaurant for your dinner?' . "Certainly! But you just hear what j I say about that fork business. Sup pose she had telegraphed that a brick house had fallen on her and then two I hours later wired that it was all a mistake? Don't people know when brick houses fall on them? Don't they [ know when they run forks into their feet?' Overhauled Mr. B.'s Work. As soon as Mr. Bowser was out of me house Mrs. Bowser began unpack ing the trunk. He had topped off with two hats, and both were crushed as flat as pancakes. Her bearskin furs came next Two of his nightshirts were a close third. Then was revealed her toothbrush md his razor and mug. Then a pair of her old shoes that bad been sitting in. the closet for sis months. Then one of her stockings and one of his socks rolled lovingly together. Then a pair of his discarded slippers and a fur trimmed skirt Then one of his day shirts and a half used cake of sapolio. Then a calico apron which she gen erally wore on sweeping days. Then a dump of stun! consisting of hairpins, a tapeline, a piece of chalk, a cookbook, an almost toothless back comb and a pair of his soiled cuffs. These were dumped in to fill a certain cavity. Then came a strata of socks and stockings and neckties and woolen gloves, with an abandoned corset for a sort of keynote. At the bottom of the trunk were two ragged waists, a pair of Mr. Bowser's trousers, five of his collars, one odd slipper, two ostrich plumes, some arti ficial flowers and a yard of old lace. Mrs. Bowser had the things all out of the trunk and on the floor wheu he returned from his dinner, and as be sat down he said: "I think I deserve a little bit of credit, Mrs. Bowser. There isn't one husband in a thousand that can pack his wife's trunk." "I know it" she replied. "And the few that can want all day to do it in.r' "Yes." "And I was just thirty-seven minutes by the clock packing a trunk that could have gone around the world." 4T know." "And nothing forgotten or out of place." "Yes, you deserve credit I can't imagine how you could' have done it." lt Sounded Hopeful. A young man who was not particu larly entertaining was monopolizing the attention of a pretty debutante with a lot of uninteresting conversa tion. "Now, my. brother." he remarked in the course of a dissertation on his fam ily, "is just the opposite of me in every respect Do you know my broth er?' "No," the debutante replied demure ly, "but I should like to."-LippincirtJ's Magazine. Degrees of Hunger. .Tm simply starving!" cried the short story writer at the Hungry club. "I wish they'd begin dinner." "I never saw you when you weren't starving," said the poet "I'm never as hungry as you are, though," the short story writer de clared, "because I writp rtrnR? " The Mahogany Tree. There is no such thing a? & forest of mahogany. The mabogax<y' tree lives by and for Itself alone, lt stands solitary of its species surrounded by the smaller trees and dense under growth of the tropical foresr. rearing Its head above its neighbors. Two trees to the acre is a liberal estimate for mahogany "finds." More frequent ly perhaps only one tree will be found over a larger stretch of territory. True mahogany is the only species of the S wie te nia mahogant the name Swie tenia having been given to it in honor of the celebrated Baron von S wie ten. physician to Maria Theresa. It is dis tinctly a native of tropical America and frequently towers to a height of 100 feet the trunk being often twelve feet in diameter. It is of exceedingly Blow growth, and the time of its ar riving at maturity is probably not less than 200 years. Occasionally small specimens have been found in < south ern Florida. British Julius Caesars. Julius Caesar, who on one of the closing days of August in 55 B. C. landed on the Kentish coast bas had many British namesakes, including a great cricketer, but the best known is Julius Caesar, master of the rolls un der James L, about whom Lord Clar endon in the first volume, of his his tory tells the amusing story, "Remem ber Caesar." The unpopular Earl of Portland sat up all night in a barri caded bouse with his friends and re tainers armed to the teeth because he found la his pocket a slip of paper bidding him "Remember Caesar," 'which really bad reference not to the assassination of the Roman statesman, "but to some preferment promised to a sou of Sir Julius Caesar. The tomb of Sir Julius Caesar, with a quaint epitaph in legal phraseology, ls among the many curious monuments uf St. Helen's, Bishopsgate.-landon Family Herald. Augusta's Leadiii UR assortment of Je ware and fine vvvt. ln new. and original dt manufacturers the LET US SUPPLY ^ WATCH REPAIRli SATISFACTION 708 Brond Street :-: itassansBBBSBi LIVERY STABLE I take this means of announcing I to the public that I. have opened up a first class livery business in tb^e cables at the place formerly occu pied by Mr. E. J. Miras Son Main .itreet. First-class teams furnished on short notice. I will make a specialty of break ing and handling colts. Have "had. considerable experience in this kind of work. Call in person or order j teams by telephone. J. E. MIMS Light Saw, Lathe and 8hin gie Mills, Engines, Boilers, Supplies and repairsj Porra qle , Steam and Gasoline En gines, Saw Teeth, Files, Belts and Pipes. WOOD SAWS ;ind SPLITTERS. Gins and Press Repairs. Try LOMBARD, AUGUSTA, GA. We are justly proud .of our stock of buggies. We carry; Columbus, Babcock. _IxiinTi <&: JDraw?a RncJc BUILDING MATERIAL. You should remember when buy" ing anv one of the dozen following articles that I save you money on Kerosene Oil Gasoline Machine Oil , Dry Cell Batteries Shingles ck Lime Cement Lumber - Cotton Seed C.S. Hulls :C.S.Meal I solicit your patron age. Send, Come or Phone me. Phone No. 10. .E S. JOHNSON. THE EDGEFIELD, S C. State and County Depository DIRECTORS J, C. SHEPPARD, W. W. ADAMS, J. H. BOUKNIGIIT, T. H. RAIXSPOR, J, M. Conn, B. E. NICHOLSON A. S. TOMPKINS. C. C. FULLER W. E. PRESCOTT. OFFICERS. J. C. SHEPPARD, President. W. W. ADAMS. vice-President. E. J. MIMS, Cashier. J. H. ALLEN, Ass't Cashier. Pays interest on deposits by special contract. Money to loan on liberal terms. Prompt and polite attention to business. YOUR Account Solicited g Jewelry Store. vi ?*..--'..? t we'?'y, cut g' ss, sil r .s is unsurpad. M ny signs from ; l e lead i g 'country; fOUR NEEDS. FINE vi G A SPECIALTY GUARANTEED. Augusta, Ga. I TIM MOfIS & COR LEY, / SURGEON DENTISTS, Appointments at Trenton >n Wednesdays. ' <.v >: : I . (ridge VVurk a hj?iia Notice to Stock Raisers. My handsome saddle bred Stallion Dandy Denmark will make the spring season at my farm near Clark's Hill. Terms 815.00 to in sure living colt; will n?e all care with mares sent, but not responsi ble for accidents. J. H. GARRETT. Clark's Hil!, S. C. Hardness of Icebergs. The hardness and strength of Ice In creases with the decrees of pulu, ?md as Icebergs come from the region ol perpetual cold of an Intensity difficult to realize it is readily seeu how they can become "demons of destruction. The hardness of Icebergs is somethiuu wonderful, even surpassing thai of the "lund ice" reported from St. Peters-' burg In 1740. whereiu it ls declared that "in the severe winter of that year a house was built of ice taken from the river Neva which was Hf ty feet long, sixteen feet wide and t wea ty feet high, and the walls supported the roof, which was also of ice. Before lt stood two ice mortars and six ice cuu non made on a turning lathe, with carriages and wheels also of ice. The cannon were of the caliber of sis Dounders. hnr tt.- - thickness!-Pittsburg Press. H el pod Him to Hurry. Prince Bismarck once told a story of the battlefield of Koeniggratz. The old emperor, then king of Prussia, had exposed himself and his staff to the enemy's fire in a very reckless fash ion and would not hear of retreating to a s?fe distance. At last Prince Bis marck rode up to him. saying: "As a responsible minister I must insist upon your majesty's retreat to a safe dis tance. If your majesty were to be killed the victory would be of no use to us." The king saw the force of this and slowly retreated, but In bis zeal returned again and again to the front. "When I noticed it," Prince Bismarck went on, "I only rose in my saddle and looked at him. He understood it perfectly and called out rather an grily, 'Yes, I am coming.'.- But we did not get on fast enough, and at last 1 rode close up to the king, took my foot out of the right stirrup and se cretly gave his horse an energetic kick. Such a thing had never before hap pened to the fat mare, but the move was successful, for she shot off in a fine canter." Tricks of Short Sight. Not only the inanimate but the anl mate world presents itself in strange forms to the myopic. Humanity, for instance, is often revealed in some what inhuman guise. Thus, so far as ocular demonstration goes, the world to the shortsighted ls peopled by men and women us faceless, sometimes even as headless, as the horseman of legendary fame. Indoors myopic per sons get quite accustomed to talking with persous wbo have neither eyes nor nose. Out of doors the phenome non is more striking because oftener repeated. At quite a short distance the face melts into the atmosphere and becomes either a cloud or. like H. G. Wells' invisible man. a nothingness. "1 see the hat and the figure, some times the beard. 1 see the walking stick. If the hand is ungloved this stick is waving miraculously a little way from the sleeve edge, for the hand, like the face, has vanished." Strand Magazine. Charming Away Tigers. No woodcutter will go about bis task in the ludlnu forests unless he is accompanied by a faker, who ls sup posed to exercise power over tigers and wild animals generally. Before work ls commenced the faker assem bles all the members of his party in a clearance at the edge of the forest and erects a number of huts, In which he places images of certain deities. After offerings have been presented to the images the particular forest is declar ed to be free of tigers, and the wood cutters in virtue of the presents they have made to the deities are supposed to be under their special protection. If after all these precautions a tiger seizes one of the party the faker speedily takes his departure without waiting to offer superfluous explana tlonw.-Cntpqrtn Statesman_ Worn, shabby floors, marred, scratched woodwork, dingy, scuffed furniture can all be refinished and made to look like new. You can do it yourself at a trifling cost. VARNO-LA? stains and varnishes at one operation, impart ing to all kinds of surfaces the elegant effect and durable, lustrous surface of beautifully finished oak, mahogany, walnut, or other expensive woods. If it's a surface to be painted, enameled, stained, varnished, or finished in any way there's an Acme Quality Kind to flt the purpose* ' W. W. ADAMS & COMPANY Valuable Farm For Sale As I expect to leave Edgefield, I hereby offer my plantation for sale. Will sell as a whole or cut into tracts. Six room cottage, large barn, stables, 15-acre orchard of peaches, apples, cherries, plums pears and grapes, 5 to 7 years old Six acres choice pecan trees, 6 years old. This place in 3 miles of Edgefield. All or part cash, to suit buyer. J. H. Cantelou Edgefield, S. C. Dr. F. L. PARKER, Dentist, Johnston, --SC Over Bank of Johnston. J AS. S. BYRD. SURGEON DENTIST, EDGEFIELD, S. C. gHOTO??ce over Post-Offlce. Winthrop College SCHOLARSHIP and ENTRANCE EXAMINATION The examination for the award of vacant scholarships in Winthrop College and for the admission of new students will be held at the County Court House on Friday, Ju ly 1, at 9 a. m. Applicants must be not less than fifteen years of age. j When Scholarships are vacant after July 1 they will be awarded to those making the highest average at this examination, provided they meet the conditions governing the award. Applicants for scholar ships should write to President Johnson before the examination for Scholarship examination blanks. Scholarships are worth $100 and free tuition. The next session will open September 21, 1910. For further information and catalogue, address Pres. D. B. Johnson, Rock Hill, S. C. LECTRIC BITTERS THE BEST FOB BILIOUSNESS AND KIDNEYS. Cleaning and Pressiig I respctfully notify the Ege field public that I have movedmy dying, cleaning and pressing rom to the ground floor of the Coner Store's annex, and solicit a corin uauce of your patronage. We gar antee satisfaction on every piec of work we send out. Wallace Harris Janies A. Dobey, .DENTAL BURGEON, Johnston, S."C. \ Office over Farmers Bank^Buildinj Surveying. . Having obtained sur veyingjoutfit,I tender my services to the public. J. H. Cantelou, Surveyor,