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? ..t rihn" i ' (Wife Proposes to Visjt^Her-Moth ! er, Who ls Victim of Accident SAMUEL HAS HIS OWN WAY. 'T????i?ir?? Mri. Bowsar,? Protests, Ho ' Finishes Self Imposed Task, Forget [ ting Nothing-Cat Is on to Philoao I phor's Genie. J By M. QUAD. ?Copyryrht, 1909. by Associated Literary ^ PresaJ ^-BOWSER, you will have **to*come"home at once. I -h*5%--? ?"A telegram from ; mother saying that she has run a fork through her; foot and wants me tb:come up there at once. 1 want ito get away on the 5 o'clock train, and . ls hail take my trunk along." ; ,ijuch. was the message Mr. Bowser .jrecelved over, the telephone at mid afternobn, and he waited only to reply: r y What in thunder was she tramp ' ling around on forks in her bare feet 'fdr?" Mrs. Bowser had. not been feeling Swell for a week, and the news upset ber. .Bte got Jiome to And her lying t I down as.she waited. "This is a pretty how-de-do, I must say," he blurted out almost as he got ?nside the doon ? '^"But it can't be helped. What makes it worse ls that'this is cook's day out. She went just before the telegram .cetoe." .:.:*<Hang the cook! What's she got to do with/ lt r "She could do my packing." "Not on your life! I am right here to do it myself. I blame the old lady "nus zs A PBBrrr HOW-DB-DO, I MUST SAT." for walking around on forks when she ?.could have just- as well walked on , fncthing of the. kind. -*\T-.-have come home for. ay *goes and -runs,, a pitch r ( ?^er foot and gives you a ju* shocks and i? you." go.to ?ool 'wi^ithV packing you werft-get ,a'"week. 'You are ready to now. I wonder if lt was a three tined pitchfork?" ^dw* caa I^?ur . - i V7*Pr?bably was .and Is sure, to result ... in .'tetanus. Only thing on earth that -ctmJd lock her jaws. I know what you .want; in the trunk, and you ll? right . .tfhf?t? you are." .. ..'?gut.. Mr., Bowser" .^There are no buts to It .1 pack the .trunk or t telegraph that you are too m to come, and your mother must -whisper her last words Into a phono I graph. You'll probably be up there a - .week, and Til. put in. the duds ac I % cordlcgly." I-Mrs. Bowser realized, but j she was .helpless. She turned her face to the ' 'ifrfciv Mr- Bowser went ahead, heard him pulling but bureau and opening boxes and taking .garments off tte hooks, and as he worked he hammed tb? sir, of The. ? e Old Oaken Buckets to himself to show .-. that JIB was enjoying the occasion. Two or three times she. asked him if j he .-vras putting tu this or that, and - 'bis reply was : ~Now, don't you worry. Everything . -iariH be. putin in the best shape. You may be thankful that you've got such . ..a husband as I am." i The trunk was finally filled, and the ' lid was shut down, and Mr. . Bowser ; ?jumped 0n lt until it would close. He \ was warned not to break the binges, but chuckled and said: -:^"^!The hinges are all right, and TH put the key In your purse. I was pack ing trunks before you were born. I1 will now gd out and get a carriage, and we will drive to tae depot. As soon as you get up there you'd better telegraph me what kind of a fork lt . waa. If it was a pitchfork then she must have been loading hay. If she'd conscious yon can give her my love." j Mr. Bowser was just going through the gate when a telegraph boy handed him a telegram which read:, "You needn't come. All a) mistake." , "And now what do you make of this?' be asked as he showed lt to Mrs. Bowser.. "Why-why. it's rather funny.". "By the seven mules, bat I should .ay It was! First, your mother tele Nnnnally's celebrated candy by express. Pennd; Holstein. - Have you- seen Stuart's clipping machines. Call at'our ??tore and ex amine them-just what} you have been wanting. Stewart & B'ernaghan. ?graphs jon that she has stuck a fork Into her foot and to come; second, she telegraphs that it is all a mistake and you needn't come. Doesn't sbe know whether she runs a fork into her foot or not?" ? . "She ought to." "Was it some one else's foot? ?Was ?t a fork or a crowbar or what? I am hurried home to pdck your trunk. I do pack it Now, it proves to be la bor thrown away. By John. I'll talk to that woman if I ever see her again!" "She "will probably write particulars. As the girl is out and I'm not feeling welL couldn't you go to a restaurant for your dinner?" ' "Certainly! But you just hear what I say about'that fork business. Sup pose she had telegraphed that a brick house had fallen on her and then two hours later wired that it was all a mistake? Don't people know when brick houses fall on them? Don't they know when they run forks into their feet?' Overhauled Mr. B.'s Work. As soon as Mr. Bowser was out of ?be house Mrs. Bowser began unpack ing the trunk. He had topped off with two hats, and both were crushed as flat as pancakes. Her bearskin furs came next Two of his nightshirts were a close third. Then was revealed her toothbrush \ad his razor and mug. Then a pair of her old shoes that had been sitting in. the closet for sis months. ' Then one of her stockings and one of his socks rolled lovingly together. Then a pair of his discarded slippers and a fur trimmed skirt Then one of his day shirts and a half used cake of sapolio. Then a calico apron which she gen erally wore on sweeping days. Then a dump of stuff consisting of hairpins, a tapeline, a piece of chalk, a cookbook, an almost toothless back comb and a pair of his soiled cuffs. These were dumped in to fill a certain cavity. Then came a strata of socks and stockings and neckties and woolen gloves, with an abandoned corset for a sort of .keynote. At the bottom, of the trunk were two ragged waists, a pair of Mr, Bowser's trousers, five of his collars, one odd slipper, two ostrich plumes, some arti ficial flowers and a yard of old lace. Mrs. Bowser had the things all out of the trunk and on the floor when he returned from his dinner, and as he sat down he said: "I think I deserve a little bit of credit Mrs. Bowser. There isn't one husband in a thousand that can pack his wife's trunk." "I know it" she replied. "And the few that can want all day to do it in." "Yes." "And I was just thirty-seven minutes by the clock packing a trunk that could have gone around the world." "I know." "Anfl nothing forgotten or out of place." "Yes, you deserve credit J can't imagine how you could have done it" lt Sounded Hopeful. A young man who was not particu larly entertaining was monopolizing the attention of a pretty debutante with a lot of uninteresting conversa tion. "Now, my. brother." he remarked in the course of a dissertation on his fam ily, "is just the opposite of me in every respect. Do you know my broth er?" "No," the debutante replied demure ly, "bat I should like to."-Lippincett's Magazine. Dig rees of Hunger. 'Tm simply starving!" cried the short story writer at the Hungry club. "I wish they'd begin dinner." "I never saw you -when you weren't starving," said the poet "Fm never as hungry as you are, though," the short story writer de clared, "because I writ?? r>roR?? " The Mahogany Tree. There ls uo such thing as a forest of mahogany. The mahogaxry tree lives by and for Itself alone, lt stands solitary of its species surrounded by the smaller trees and dense under growth of the tropical forest, rearing its head above its neighbors. Two trees to the acre is a liberal estimate for mahogany "finds." More frequent ly perhaps only one tree will be found over a larger stretch of territory. True mahogany ls the only species of the Swietenia mahogani, the name Swie tenla having been given to lt in honor of the celebrated Baron von Swieten. physician to Maria Theresa. It ls dis tinctly a native of tropical America and frequently towers to a height of 100 feet the trunk being often twelve feet in diameter. It ls of exceedingly elow growth, and the time of its ar riving at maturity is probably not less than 200 years. Occasionally small specimens have been found in (south ern Florida. British Julius Caesars. Julius Caesar, who on one of the closing days of August in 55 B. C. landed on the Kentish coast has had many British namesakes, including a great cricketer, but the best known is Julius Caesar, master of the rolls un der James L, about whom Lord Clar endon in the first volume of his his tory tells the amusing story, "Remem ber Caesar." The unpopular Earl of Fortland sat up all night in a barri caded house with his friends and re tainers armed to the teeth because he found in his pocket a slip of paper bidding bim "Remember Caesar," -which really bad reference not to the assassination of the Roman statesman, nut to some preferment promised to a son of Sir Julius Caesar. The tomb of Sir Julius Caesar, with n quaint epitaph in legal phraseology, is among the many curious uiouuineiits of St Helen's, Bishopsgate.-l^ondun Family Herald._ Augusta's ?eadin UR assortment of Je ware and fine wt. lu new and original dt manufacturers the LET US SUPPLY ^ WATCH REPAIRE SATISFACTION A>1 R 708 Broad Street :-: LIVERY STABLE I take this means of announcing to the public that I have opened up a first cl?ss livery businr-sB in tb^e -tables at the place formerly occu pied by Mr. E. J. Mims\on Main ?itreet. First-class tear?s -furnished on short notice. . . I will make a specialty of break ing and handling colts. Haveliad considerable experience in this kind cf work. Call in person or order ? teams by telephone. J. E. MIMS Light Saw, Lathe and ?Shin gie Mills, Engines, Boilers, Supplies and repairs^ Porta qle , Steam and Gasoline En gines, Saw Teeth, Files, Belts and Pipes. WOOD SAWS vnd SPLITTERS., Gins and Press Repairs. Try LOMBARD, AUGUSTA, GA. We are justly proud(of our stock of buggies. We carry ? Columbus, Babcock. .Tvson <fc JDrvn^j Rmdc BUILDING MATERIAL. You should remember when buy" ing any one of the dozen following articles that I save you money on Kerosene Oil Gasoline Machine Oil Dry Cell Batteries Shingles ck Lime Cement Lumber - Cotton Seed C. S. Hulls ICS. Meal I solicit your patron age. Send, Come or Phone me. Phone No. 10. .E S. JOHNSON. THE LB. EDGEFIELD, S C. State and County Depository DIRECTORS J, C. SHEPPARD, W. W. ADAMS, J. H. BOUKNKJUT, T. H. RAIXSPOR, J, M. Conn, B. E. NICHOLSON A. S. TOMPKINS. C. C. FULLER W. E. PRESCOTT. OFFICERS. J. C. SHEPPARD, President. W. W. ADAMS. vice-President. E. J. MIMS, Cashier. J. H. ALLEN, Ass't Cashier. Pays interest on deposits by pecial contract. Money to loan on liberal terms. Prompt and polite attention to usiness. YOUR Account Solicited g Jewelry Store weh y, cut g' ss, sil r ? is unsurpa s? d'. M y signs from ?? le lead i g country. . if O UR NEEDS. FINE S?G A SPECIALTY GUARANTEED. Augusta, Ga. j i Tl M MO fl S & COR LEY, /SURGEON DENTISTS, Appointments at Trenton >n Wednesdays. Notice to Stock Raisers. My handsome saddle bred Stallion Dandy Denmark will make the spring: season at my farm near Clark's Hill. Terms 815.00 to in sure living colt; will u*e all care with mares sent, but not responsi ble for accidents. J. H. GARRETT. Clark's Hill, S. C. Hardness of Icebergs. The hardness and strength of Ice In creases with the degrees ot cold, and as Icebergs come from the region ut perpetual cold of an intensity difficult to realize it is readily seeu how they can become "demons of destruction. The hardness of Icebergs is something wonderful, even surpassing that of the "lund ice" reported from St. Peters burg In 1740, wherein it is declared that "in the severe winter of that year a house was built of ice taken from the river Neva which was fifty feet long, sixteen feet wide and twenty feet high, and the walls supported the roof, which was also of ice. Hefore it stood two ice mortars and sis ice eau non made on a turniug lathe, with carriages and wheels also of ice. The cannon were of the caliber of sis Doun de rs. hnt -- thickness!-Pittsburg Press. Helped Him to Hurry. Trince Bismarck once told a story of the battlefield of Koeniggratz. The old emperor, then king of Prussia, had exposed himself and his stair lo the enemy's fire in a very reckless fash ion and would not hear of retreating to a safe distance. At last Prince Bis marck rode up to him, saying: "As a responsible minister I must insist upon your majesty's retreat to a safe dis tance. If your majesty were to be killed the victory would be of no use to us." The king saw the force of this and slowly retreated, but In bis zeal returned again and again to the front. "When I noticed it," Prince Bismarck went on, "I only rose m my saddle and looked at him. He understood it perfectly and called out rather an grily, 'Yes. I am coming.' But we did not get on fast enough, and at last 1 rode close up to the king, took my foot out of the right stirrup and se cretly gave bis horse an energetic kick. Such a tMng had never before hap pened to the fat mare, but the move was successful, for she shot off in a fine canter." Tricks of Short Sight. Not only the inanimate but the ani mate world presents Itself in strange forms to the myopic. Humanity, for Instance, is often revealed in some what ID hu mau guise. Thus, so far as ocular demonstration goes, the world to the shortsighted ls peopled by men and women as faceless, sometimes even as headless, as the horseman of legendary fame Indoor* myopic per sons get quite accustomed to talking with persons who have neither eyes nor nose. Out of doors the phenome non is more striking because oftener repeated. At ijtiite a short distance the face melts into the atmosphere and becomes either a cloud or. like H. G. Wells' Invisible man. a nothingness. "I see the hat and the figure, some times the heard. 1 see the walking stick. If the hand is ungloved this stick is waving miraculously a little way from the sleeve edge, for the band, like the face, has vanished." Strand Magazine. Charming Away Tigers. No woodcutter will go about his task in the Indian forests uuleas he is accompanied by a faker, who is sup posed to exercise power over tigers and wild animals generally. IJefore work is commenced the faker assem bles all the members of his party in a clearance at the edge of the forest and erects a number of huts, in which he places images of certain deities. After offerings have been presented to the images the particular forest is declar ed to be free of tigers, and the wood cutters in virtue of the presents they have made to the deities are supposed to be under their special protection. If ofter all these precautions a tiger seizes one of the party the faker speedily takes his departure without waiting to offer superfluous explana tions,-rnlruffnStnteginan_ rorn, shabby floors, marred, scratched woodwork, dingy, scuffed furniture can all be refinished and made to lock like new. You can do it yourself at a trifling cost. VARNO-LA? stains and varnishes at. one operation, impart ing to all kinds of surfaces the elegant effect and durable, lustrous surface of beautifully finished oak, mahogany, walnut, or other expensive woods. If it's a surface to be painted, enameled, stained, varnished, or finished in any way there's an Acme Quality Kind to fit the purpose? ( 1 W. W. ADAMS & COMPANY a No Alusn No Limo Royal is the onlyba3dis@ powder mafic from Royal Girare Creaaa ci Tartar Jar m Valuable Farm For Sale As I expect to leave Edgefield, I hereby offer my plantation for sale. Will sell as a whole or cut into tracts. Six room cottage, large barn, stables, 15-acre orchard of peaches, apples, cherries, plums pears and grapes, 5 to 7 years old Six acres choice pecan trees, 6 years old. This place in 3 miles of Ed gerick!. All or part cash, to suit buyer. J. H. Cantelou Edgefield, S. C. Dr, F. L. PARKER, Dentist, Johnston, --SC Over Bank of Johnston. J AS. S. BYRD. SURGEON DENTIST, EDGEFIELD, S. C. ^(yofflce over Post-Offlce. Winthrop College SCHOLARSHIP and ENTRANCE EXAMINATION The examination for the award of vacant scholarships in Winthrop College and for the admission of new students will be held at the County Court House on Friday, Ju ly 1, at 9 a. ra. Applicants must be not less than fifteen years of age. When Scholarships are vacant after July 1 they will be awarded to those making the highest average at this examination, provided they meet the conditions governing the award. Applicants for scholar ships should write to President Johnson before the examination for Scholarship examination blanks. Scholarships are worth ?100 and free tuition. The next session will open September 21, 1910. For further information and catalogue, address Pres. D. B. Johnson, Rock Hill, S. C. 'LECY?in THE BEST FOB ?a~JL????? BILIOUSNESS 'BITTERS AND KIDNEYS. Cleaning and Pressiig I respctf idly notify the Ege field public that I have movedmy dying, cleaning and pressing rora to the ground floor of the Coner Store's annex, and solicit a cocin uauce of your patronage. We gar antee satisfaction on every piec- of work we send out. Wallace Harri? James A. I)obey, .DENTAL (SURGEON, Johnston, S."C. Office over Farmers Bank?Buildin?j Surveying. . Having obtained sur veyingjoutfit,I tender my services to the public. J. H. Cantelou, Surveyor.