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LXVIL , POLIC A TRAGEDY Lfly E W WW Wy At that time the four greatest c in the Roman empire were Ant Rome, Alexandria, and Tr?ves on Moselle, Tr?ves, which was the tr? wheuce were governed Bri ???l, Spain, the Alpine districts, the Rhih? frontier; was the resid< Of the Prefect ?f the Rhine p luces; He was ? very exalt?d sohag? and commanded th? a which w?s forever repelling the temps of ide Germanic tribes cross the Rhine, At Tr?ves als? the adminetration of these legions * ired; There was not a month of s mer br of winter wifes th?y had s?ine fighting to do, much of wi Was fierce and some desperate. i^br ten years, the Rhine l?gion?i Hau won ail their battles tinder same prefect, and never had ?ny rx t?ry order bf his miscarried: ih L tie and in siege, in attack and in jf?nc?; the confidence of his men him was absolute. Yet there was i in all thc empire a more unpopu man than his Excellency the Pref* of the Rhine Marches. He more th counteracted the effect of his militl prestige by an unsympathetic, un spiring, and chilly demeanor. His si cesses roused no en'husiasm for hi j self. In camp he was a relcntle martinet. Outside the army, in t municipal administration of Tr?ves? the government of the province, ai in all things small and great, throug out even Britain and Spaia, his unco ciliatory manner and his stubborn ft mality won him fear and hatred. ? It was a hot and dusty summer, wii bad crops. The parade ground I Tr?ves was, If possible, hotter at dustier than the country about, .was a white floor of dazzling, impa pable clay powder, un one side of ran one rampart of the camp, tm which showed the roofs Of the iov dull-brown brick barracks. The othc three sides were lined with crazy hut or shanties, dens of the camp follow ers and houses of tho si>t?Cr?. ?boU half an hour after sunrise the two le gions then quartered at Tr?ves wen under review. Roman garrison reviev began at the first glow of dawn, Tnt inspection of the formation Was over The Prefect, with th8 staff, was at on< end of the ground, the Fourteenth Le . gion on his left, and the Thirty-thirt on his right. The quaester read out the g??rd ??: signments, the watch Word - that a centurion bf the Ft gion waa tb *>e depnved and forwarded to the c. . : swer the charge of cor: ^^^The accused was by far V ular man in the legion, aau . third among its sixty centurions. Tue irrefecl had long disliked him? and would have preferred ?von more sum mary measures? Almost before the order had been read the Fourteenth changed fr?nt "a serried machine to a Seething swarm of human figures, weltering m the dense envelope of dust which rose from Under them. The centurions whom the rank and file distrusted were pinioned, tfvery sword was out, and with weapons and shields aloft the men yelled themselves hoarse, i The Prefect ordered the first mani lle of the Thirty-third to arrest the ringleaders. The Thirty-third stood IIKC images, peering as well a? they could against the sunlight, ir. their ?eyes towards Ul? to?b across thc parade-grounds The orderly did nd take the trouble to ride back to report how tne command was received. The Prefect called out: "Is there no man here who respects Iiis oath? As well salute your centu 1 rion Emperor! n The Clamor was so loud that thc ?taff could hardly hear each other The centurion who was the cause ol the outbreak seemed to be trying tc quiet his fellows. The Prefect raged mutely. Even hi? staff were against him and longed tc see him humiliated. When comparative silence was re Stored, not losing an iistant, he chose toe most dangerous and most promis lng coarse possible. For he was really? gre*t commander and a bold one. He rode three horse-lengths, alone, to wards the mutineers, and asked them if they reblled against the Emperor against himself, or against that par ticular order alone. Diverse shoutings answered. A young centuriou, who had taken nc part in fomenting or quieting the tu mult, stepped out The men held their peace, and he said, very slowij and conciliatingly, that they did nol rebel against t?e Emperor, that tbej ? did not mutiny against their command er, but that they did ask him to reco.i Bider an order which had not yet re ceived his official approval. Groan; and cheers greeted all three state ments. His Excellency was reassured. Th< men had no fixed plans, they wen divided, and they had no determiner leaders. The mutiny was very rea and terribly near a revolt that woulc ruin him utterly. But, while the in fringement of discipline was irrepara ble, and his nold on the men and hi! officers appallingly weakened, ye there was a chance of regaining th< reality of subordination ?nd power bj holding to the semblance of both. Mu linies, revolts and revolutions wer? none so rare in those days, and whil< the smallest beginning might lead U the world's end, on the other hand th< frequency of insubordination made re accepted obedience less a mocker, and more a valuable possession thai it could be under other circumstances The effort of tue speaker to save hi: official dignity he saw, and while hi perceived that it gave him the ver; opportunity he wanted, he none thi less hated the speaker for the conde i - m fn^Ifvp nf it Torn by pride and anger, but in hil calmest voice, he ordered the legion t< reform. They obeyed. Taking hil place at the head of the staff, he spok< a few ringing words to the men, re minding them of their oath and dut: VBRSO. A ROMAN ARENA. i IV H 11? E ; o? utter db?dience, ?nd co?ciliating them. With a form?i disclaimer bf ?ny possibi? Injustice tb th? defenders of the empire: Then h? spoke inaudibly t? the quaester, and that officiai r?d? for ward and proclaimed that the. afore said centurions bf th? Fourteenth were to suffer ? fine; and th?t the ieaders of the disorder' during the review were to be pdnish?d with rations pt harley instead bf wheat fdr a month. There was ho further breaking bf ranks; fdr the legion knew that their favorite was as wholly in their power tb d? fend and protect while ynder arrest among them as. when free: The Prefect, fuming ar vindictive, reached his palace.td doh his .toga of state. In his anteroom he found an uri: washed, greasy fellow, with a fashion of fingering his battered felt hat iii th? presence of great folks. In. our days such a one would be known as a private detective. Homans called such professional spies. , ine Prefect had many grievances against the world. But chief among these was one which he felt as a household shame and reproach. His elder son was a sickly, dissipated, in competent dandy. To comp?nsate? him for this, he had a younger boy who was a fine a specimen of mental and physical manhood as th? ?rapird could show throughout its length and oreadth; But this youth-, who should I have been, he felt, his p>ide and ally"; I had rebelled against his authority. H? had even openly quarrelled with him. and.woret Of all, he had left his fath?r's house, Which was ah ?nh?ard-bf act for a hobie Roman, the lad had dis appeared utterly and cbuid nbt be found. Me was supposed tb have gone into the East, where bis mother had ( kinsmen in high command.against the" | c Parthians, and to be serving the state there under a false hame. . All this had angered his rather quit? enough. His rage and chagrin redou bled when the spy asserted th?t li? had positive information that thc boy was iii TravbS, and that he would be able to find him in a day Or two with a little extra money to spend on the search. The Prefect gave the money with a bitter heart. This news; If true, boded disgrace a? weil as scandal te h^c hame, me world looked even more hateful to him. His hound | 5, ? ii * .- 'g** J-?OI.(V?. rees.. a???; be hil i hi '. S \M-?- | ;: " irnac&?fin iVhlch .- - irina iit.tc.- bt-fcr niacs hau ?el . litter-poles, a foamm" him dispatch*?; fi-om the" war-w?ic> He tip?ne'd them as the litter was borne onward, and the first that ho read was a curt reprimand on his trans-Rhenal policy, and a hrUtailv commanding hint ?hat he must cease favoring t.h'? German chieftain whose ihtt?r?sf? lie ?.ad been furthering and r?mehow transfer his influence to tho other side, as his favorite was an enemy of valuable and uncertain al lies of Rome who dwelt across thft head-waters of thP Pa*?lb*:; Thin ft'JC?'?i?iation of checks, re buffs, and insults put his Excellency into a humor which was more than spiteful and vindictive. He was ready to wreak his wrath on anythli)*. . would have enjoyed treating the Em peror &8 he had treated his hound, and most of all did he hate this popu lace and soldiery which jeered at him openly, and which was rejoicing at having thwarted him. They had mad? him do as they pleased in a matter where he felt he had a right to do nia will, and he longed for an opportunity of compelling th??i t? (io their best. He reached the circus in a fine mood for asserting his authority aoggedly at every opportunity. Tr?ves, the fourth city of the em pire, possessed a circus which was outranked in size and splendor by those of a good score. The climate soil, and the political conditions gave the people much work and compara tively little time or m?ney fdr amuse ment. Yet the amphitheatre held six ty thousand persons. The games were to be magnificent that day. The Pre fect was giving them out oi his private income and he himself waa to b? editor. Conspicuous among th? ladies in their seats at the Prefect's left was his wife. Some years before she had been with her husband in a small garrison town on the Rhine when he was sur prised and surrounded by a vast horde of Germans. Throughout the seige that followed she had shown such skill and courage in aiding the wounded, in directing relief sallies at critical mo ments, and even in exhorting the men on the walls that the Emperor had conferred on her the right to wear the purple cloak of a cavalry officer. Con sequently, she shone among the women, for light pale hues were that year the fashion in feminine dress. The procession of all the partici pants commenced. A British and a Scythian chariot, which were to race against each other without more com petitors, attracted much attention, with their contrasted teams and driv ers from the utmost West and East. None of those entered for any other event excited so much interest as did the 32 gladiators whose combat was to close the day's show. They ! were to fight in pairs, sixteen on each side of the arena, and the victor of each pair was to face the victor nearest him, and the victors were thus to pair off and fight again till only one remained. All were armed and hel meted with hidden faces. The favor ite in the betting was a professional from Rome, a Roman by race, and a tighter whose fame had spread through the empire. He now appeared ht Tr?ves for the first time. The only man seriously backed to win against him was a big Gaul, also well known, and one who had beaten many an ad vers?ry: ?t the very fi rsi sight of tiii 32; thes? favorites fr?r? well liked; bdt m?st bf all was interest c?nter?d in a graceful, well-knit youngster, one of the last pair, as they marched along in the procession; It was whispered that h? was ? Greek: Greek giadiat ors w?re r?r? in any part of the em pire; and it was years since one had fought, at Tr?ves; this man had that b??rlhg which wins sympathy, and in ? few moments half the meti and all th? wom ?'ri were talking of him and wishing him good liick. Not much betting was done in his* favor,- toft f.v^n. t&? b?ckers of other contestants inwardly hoped or openiy wished that hemiglit get off easily if defeated: _,.Th.e ?how passed off much' like other shows: Onq animai fight which was wholly hovel at Tr?ves was. that of ? herd of some-fifty dog-faced baboons against successive single large beasts, bf whicll they' disposed witli surpris: ihg celerity. A bediitifui leopard, chi vied all about the sand by these grin ning manlike devils, made desperate efforts to escape: She essayed a pro digious lea?> bdt bi the arena and clutched the' parapet from which site sprang into the seats of the German chieftains: This created some excite ment, and a hurricane of cheers when one blonde, pink-skinned young giant of them, his blood spattering his fel lows, deliberately strangicd her to death in spite of her clawings and hurled the carcass back into the en closure. At last came the thirty-two of whom thirty-one might die. The Roman was imong tho sixteen on tho side beneath hr) ladles' b&nch?Bi Th? ybung Greek ind the Catii were ?n the bther side, )?ic\y th? scats of th? Germans. In ne first r?iind the Galil was over-con ideht; and suffered ? flesh-wound in he knee. He won his bout, and so lid the Greek ahd the Roman. It be eil so that for the last round save one he Roman survived, cool and un rounded; and the yoting Greek faced he Gaul: bf tn? defeated men who >"?r? merely wounded, some had been pared, and some dispatched, accord rig1 to the favor ot disfavor of the pectatbrs hearest them. . The Roman's adversary grappled irri; and was hacked to pieces a.t half rm's lengtn after a long,fight. The au! hp.d fallen tb a third wound al 105.1 before the Roman had shortened is sw-jrd grip to begin dealing with I is man. Each set of victors had ad a oriof breathing-time helmets on. he audience rustled and buzzed hile the Roman got his breath, lt a* Hot arid dilsfy' mi?-?ftern?bh; but 3 one left. Even the gaudily painted tvning-poles afar and aloft were hid f agile Enthusiasts hf the mob; who 'i'ii?> uu . . ound brought he Romau K?t Bi's tuoi _ --Hen I jest, raised his sword and shield over is head and saluted the editor and i iO spectators. Then, blinded by .veat, he j.itched oi? his big helmet, Hilted his grip of his sword.and began j roll his eyes along the benches to oe what he must do with his fallpn i*k Every woman, child, and man ras standing, every thumb pointed own. The fainting boy might have card the cries of tne friendly folk, 'he gladiator looked first towards the orth. Bfiforp li? tttrhe?l towards the dltur's stand half the theatre saw his Jxcellency, his face perfectly expres ionless, his hand resting on the vel et-covered rail before him, the thumb tolidly pointing up. Tne gladiator vas a slave, hired by him under an >ath and penalties of fire and steel. rVhves Of Inarticulate- remonstrance ;a'n fr&ttt liSr tO tier. Some half Irunken men of the Fourteenth, loung ng in the doorway where the dead >odies had been dragged out, saw the numb also. Full of their success of ;he morning, they thought, it would be i fine thing to rescue the young fel low, and started at s tips? double* Ittlck acrt>f?fi' the sand. Tne Roman KtW them, looked round, and saw the ?ditor. He dared not h&?it?t?. Hil life w?i At stake. He gave the pros trate lad a kick, and tne boy tried to loosen the helmet. His hands fell Lrom weakness. The Roman cHlt lh3 chin strop. AU this took place in six breaths. Tho audience, with an electric mutual understanding, sat down, every rignt thumb outstretched earthward. Not a soul made any noise, not even to cheer the half-dozen running drunk ards. The Roman kicked off the helmet, raised his blade for the fini shidngfifln and raised his blade for the finishing stroke. As it fell against the back^ ground of hushed and seated gazers a purple-clad figure arose from among the ladies and another from the Pre fect's ivory throne, and a man's and woman's voice screamed: "My son!" The next moment the Prefect's wife had fainted; the Roman, biB shield cast away, was kneeling beside the dy ing lad, trying in vain to check the blood with his naked left hand: the whole audience, women and men alike, were on their feet; and thc Prefect sank in his chair, dazed and tremb ling, and to his ears thc universe seemed filled with the incisive howl of rebuke and derision which arose from sixty thousand throats-New York Post. Friday Fnvorri'. Evidently Friday is to be the great day for stale events. Tho fn^t court was held on Friday. The king's birth day is to be celebrated on Friday, and the coronation procession is to be on Friday.-Birmingham (Eng.) Gaz ette. Th? rat. Church-Did you hear the yarn about the Manx cat? Gotham-No: is it a long story? Church-No; short tail.-Yonkeri Statesman, T HE following is ?rx- advance copy of tlie Official Program' of the Coronation of Klrig;Ed ward VII. and Queen Allan ?la. The program shows exactlrabow a king is made. Tho program is quaintly prinU old English style, and gives in c every niovelneiit proscribed for-L,, majesties during the impressive fere monies that marie the coronation, ;: The kiiig is {0 iii crowned' byfthe il?Ip? ^'.>;^^%^= ",.-?Y iwasaar Slier teal f ?A. .7ij, -??S^S^m i^'"^pM -?-ismnai V- CORONATION ?MAIR ' .. 1 ALTAR |S| _ * 33^"?* POYAL B?y "ii" into the church.. , . ... . The king and queen enter by the west Joor. As soon as they appear the great choir o' Westminster receives them with an anthem. During the singiDg of the anthem thc king and queen pass up through the body of the church into and through the body, nf the church into and through the choir and tip* th? stairs to the theatre, where their thrones are placed. Passing by their thrones they make their humble adora tions, and then, kneeling nt the fald f?toolK sSt fm- tbetd before their chairs, they pray silently. After their private prayers they seat ' themselves, not In their thrones, but in 1 chairs before the thrones. The arch- ( bishop then turns to .the east part of the theatre, and next, together with the 1 Lord Chancellor, the Lord Great Cham- ( beriaih; the Lord High Constable odd i tHe ?dri Marshal, with tit? G??f?f 1 THE CORONATI IST.EDWA?VtySiTtt? ?fri fcKGL?NPi TM 15 MA? EVEfcV B?VEftEIGM $ ,/A /Nif THE O??, AMPULLA^ .j5r>C3 SST COMTAIMS SACREP GrtEA* FOR ANbiMTIN QU EE M 3 SCEPTRE WIT? COVE COI USED BY MP HIS TM King at Arms preceding them, all robed magnificently, goes to the other three sid"s of the theatre, at each of the four sides speaking loudly to the people, while the king, standing, alte'naiely, faces each of the lour sides. Tie arch bishop says: --/ ."Sirs;.I here pr?sent tirito you' King Edward, the ?ndonbte? king St this j realm.1 Wherefore,- ali you wiro' rtre| come this day i8 (lo y?'irr homage,- are you willing to do the sanie?" The acclamations of thc people foi-" low this proclamation. The king and queen then go to chairs set for them on tho south side of the great altar of tho Abbey Church, where they are to kneel when the litany begins. Two bishops vested in capes, sing the litany, the cil?it singing the responses to the 5i;g;tii: The c'?t? inunion service follows; Dili'' ng the singing bf the litany riliit tii? communion service the king -win rc- j nain uncovered, sitting with tho queen u their chairs on the south side of the litar; 6V?t Against the pulpit. At the dose' bf the coihirJiihioii .service, with he beginhirig 6f the serhibii.- tii? king mts on iiis cap of c'ririisdii velvet; rimmed with ermine. On his right j land during the sermon stands the ?ishop of Durham, and behind him, on lie Sanie1 Silk; tile l?fda that carry the iwords -wiiic'ii fire? td be' iir?se'ritkl to Lim: On .his. left stand the Bishop's bf J?'tli and .Wells and the fjord" Gr?ai ihamberla?n: The sermon will bc brief and fiffef.it | be coronation oath will be adminis 31'ed by the Archbishop of Canterbury, 'he archbishop asks: 1'Rtii. Irl yx.1.1 -ifrtinnt. TFR 30aONATION CHAIR. 'ollowing questions are asked and an gered: The Archbishop-"Will you solemnly iromise and swear to govern the people )f this United Kingdom of> Great Bri tain and Ireland mid the dominions th?r?td b?iOhginping ilcwnliDg to the ON REGALIA 105k SCEPTRE V/IW EfABLE/A OP POM1NATION Op CHRISTIANITY - g&HBBBSBMag > ?ONATION SPOON QUEENS THE ARCHBISHOP TO SCEPTRE FINGERS ?N FOR ^'It?,* E AM05rMTINCi QKQSS _ statutes in Parliament agreed upon an respective laws and customs of th same?" The Kin,;-"I solemnly promise so t do." The Archbishop-"Will you to the u most of your power maintain the law of God, thc rMte p?'e?ossfon of tho Gos pel nn? the Protestant Reformed reli gi?n established hf law? And will you maintain and preierw? inviolate the settlement, ot- the Chure?f of England ?na thc doctrine', worship1,, discipline and government thereof as by law es tablished in Eng?it&?i And will yov, preserve unto the bishops and clergy The king then arises, assisted by thc fjord Great Chamberlain and proceeds fo' flic.altar, the Sword" bf State boin? carried before him. The .croat Bible ?H brought from tlte. altar by the arch bishop. Laying litt hand n'pori the Holy Gospel the king kneels upo'tr th? steps, saying: "The things which I have bore before promised I will perform and koop, so tiolp1 in? God." His Majesty kis^'R ,tiif? book, signs the .written oath and returns' Ui_ \iifi chair to be anointed. Both he and tin queen kneel at their faldstools, and tho archbishop begins thc hymn, "Veni Creator Spiritus';", the choir taking it up. A prayer foll?'w'? tiro" hymn und the choir siugs an anttf?mV Oitriilg which thc king arises from his devo tions and is divested of his crimson robes and his cap of State before pro reeding again to tho altar, attended as bef?r'?;. In the midst hf tim arena? over against the altar, King Edward's chair is placed, with a faldstool before it: Thc king sits in the great chair, and four Knights of the Garter, summoned by the Garter King of Arms, hold Over him a rich pall of silk, or cloth of gold; handed tu thvm by the Lord Bhtinib?iiaim Tho Denn of W'nPtmins ter; taking tli? ?ffipdl?li and" spoon front the altar, anoints the king id tli?? f?rid KOBE OF ARCHBISHOP. of a cross on tho crown ol' his hoad, on the breast and on the palms of both hands. Then tho king kneels and tho archbishop, standing, says a prayer of blessing over him. The king resumes his seat in the chair at tho end of the prayer, to arise again when the Dean of Westminster ap proaches to place upon His Majesty tlio Colobium Smdonis and the Super tunela, or cloth of gold, with a girdle of the same. Thc presenting of the spurs and sword and the girding and oblation of the sword follow. The spurs are bought from the altar by the dean and delivered to the Lord Great Cbam berlain, who, kneeling, touches tin king's heels with them and return them to the altar. The lord who carries the sword o State delivers it to the Lord Chamber kiln and it is thereupon placed in thc Traverse in St. Edward's Chapel. The lord receives in lieu thereof another sword, In a scabbard of purple velvet, with which the king is girt. After prayers the king, standing, the sword Is girt about him by the Lord Great Chamberlain. Then follows the investure. The king's ring is placed on the fourth ringer of bis right hand by the arch bishop, who receives-it from an oiiiccr 5f the jewel house. The glove Is pre sented by the Lord of the Manor of , Worksop, and being put on, the dean .. uuve, Which ? king receives in his left hand. Theii coin?s the putting on of the own. IT but thc Atmosphere is Mrtrfe Of. The first rude shock to the prevail lg Idons concerning the atmosphere /is given in 1774, when Priestley dis ivered in it the1 very active element, cy'geh. Two years later he added to lis the pa?'?jva element, nitrogen, and lie two main eons'ti thrifts of thc ill isible air became captives of sci#itee< o these now elements the old ideas' lung for a time. Oxygen was named y It? discoverer dephlogisticatod air. t iaekfri /'hJoffiHton, the fancied fire lenient, and ??njrfit with eager appe l? In whatever it to?cif?d.- Nitrogen as called phlogisticated air. ii -S'a? olieved to bo saturated with phlogls id abd therefore fatal to flame. While xygCh combined briskly with almost ll the eioinon'tfc'.- nitrogen refused t i : ombine in all except tfi?der great rovocation. Though intimately ttiin? :led in the atmosphere, these elements vero as unlike in character as two ubstance? well could be. ?? long time {Kissed before a third ?b'st?hce" was found in tho ntmos ihere, this ?iirie hot a chemical elo nent, but the compotihd gas, carbonic cid. While not grer?t in quantity, it .roved to be indispensable in quality, ince all tho world of living things is lepeudoiit upon it for existence. Inini Gal as It is. when In large quantity, o dfiiiririi life", without it there could ie no life at nil, ami the earth would ie a dead and barren expanse. For be plant world gains from this gds its foundation clement of carbon, and is [litis enabled to lay up those stores of rood iipdfi which the animal world de fends.-Charles Morris, In Lippiucott. Hlprb-Prlced Service. The death of the famous Paris res taurateur, Bignon, recalls some stories jf interest. He was among the first to see that the enormously high-priced cafes had seea their day-, and selling the famous house in the avenue to the opera, he entered into private life. An amusing story of his revenge is told. One night after au opera ball a gay party trooped in and persisted in being served by Bignon himself. The old gentleman was in bed, but he got up and threw the traditional serviette < i the waiter across his arm. When the bill was sent up there was a grief that could have been photographed among the party. At thc end of a financially much-spiced note appeared: "For being served by Bignon, 1000 francs." Ile got the money after many protests and banded it over to a charity-Chicago Chronicle. Pl?enn and Chauffeur. The real carrier pigeon, as distin guished from the common homing pigeon, is the originator of the mask and mossies worn by chauffeurs -who drive automobiles at seventy-five miles an hour, more or less. On this bird's bill is a large, fleshy caruncle, and a similar one is around each eye. Thc general appearance is similar to that of HU? fortified face and head of thc automobilist. Nature gave the pigeor this protection from the wind in ?ti rapid- 'dight-New York Press. In 1871 Germany had only eigh cities with over 100.001? inhabitants Now abe has thirty-three. UNCLE SAM IS RICH ENOUGH. Never mind what stocks they buy Or how they rise an' fall, ibis old country, brethren, Ia Wgenough for all! Bili enough from land to aea In this year of jubilee. With the old flag llyla' free Big enough for all ! iNever mind the dollars bright Holdin' mou in thrall, Ibis old country, brethren, Has cash enough for all f Big enough from land to sea *?f the biggest men to be, with the old nag flyin' free Big enough for all ! -Atlanta Constitution, HUMOROUS. Wigg- Gracious! You are getting perfectly bald. How did it happen? ?Vagg i was born that way. "Beauty," remarked the hippopotar mus," is only skin deep." "Then why don't you turn yourself inside our?" asked the peacock. "This will is like iron," assured the lawyer. "Then it won't do," objected the millionaire. "Iron can be broken after it has been filed." "Matrimony and' golf," says the cynical bachelor, "have pretty well thinned out the ranks of the good fellows." Bizzy-No, I never read fiction at all Life is too short, and fiction too" long." Giggy-But th- weather predic tions are too long. "Don't kick," said Uncle Eben, "on less you is in a position to have yob own way. An' if dat'a de case dar airy no 'scuse fob kickinV First Dentist-Do you have any trouble in collecting your bills? Sec ond Dentist-Yes, ifs like pulling teeth to get money out of some peo ple. "I want to get a wedding present; .something striking," said the female shopper. "Yes, madam," replied the affable salesman. "How would a clock do?" Hook-Scribbler is a positive gen ius. Nye-I don't think the sort of poetry he writes requires much gen ius. Hook-No, but it takes a genius to sell it. Blobbs-That girl's hair looks as though she hadn't ?ouched it for two weeks. Slobbs-And yet I dare nay sile has worked for hours with it to get that effect. "I have followed the sea for 30 years," said the man with the weather beaten face. "And have you never caught up with it?" asked the silly, pale youne man 3 .: ai :... . v as ; war* . ' ' ' <; . . ?ie 30ft .doily . ...;0*; tu?t you never hear a. mad admit having found one?" "My! that dog's mad!" exclaimed) the intelligent horse; "I wonder what made him that way?" "Perhaps," sug gested the wise house-cat. "he's the dog they try all the new plays on." "That's the time I got you," cried the worni on the hook, as the trout bit. "Gracious'" exclaimed the poor trout; "you looked like such an ob tuse angle worm I ?ievmt suspected! you were acute one." Snuff Taker?. The Ifttft cenutry was the age of snuff taking par excellence. The cus tom was general and among all classes of people. It was an act of politeness for well-bred men to offer their snuff boxes to well-bred women. Women themselves carried their own boxes and interchanged pinches with the gentlemen.| At fashionable dinner parties after the cloth was removed snuff boxes were passed around. Pope and Bllingbroke. Swift and Congreve, Addison and Steele, all indulged in the pleasiirtis of snuff. Dr. Johnson car ried his snuff in the capacious pockets o? his waistcoat and would convey it to his nose without stint. He could not abide the narrow confines of a box. Frederick the Great resembled him In this respect. Both Napoleon and Wellington were prodigious snuff takers,.but Washington indulged only moderately. Jefferson was fond of snuff, as his waistcoat and shirt bosom often showed. Hamilton and Burr both "snuffed," and were extremely grace ful in giving and taking a pinch. Henry Clay was another of our fa mous snuff takers, and often needed the stimulus of a pinch when making a speech. Senator Thurman was per haps one of the last of the senatorial users of what was once called "the grand cordial of nature/'-Chicago Journal. Lord Methuen's I'rrmonltlon. To-Day tells a somewhat remarkable story with refenco to the capture of Lord Methuen, which seems to indi cate that the gallant but unfortunate general had a presentiment of his own late. A brother officer was returning to England, and in bidding good-bye to Methuen asked him why he did not apply for leave, seeing that he bad been out longer than any other general. "You forget," said Methuer rather sadly, "I have something to wipe out before I can return. You, lucky man, have not." This reference to the unfortunate fight at Magersfontein much impressed those who heard it, for it was obvious that Methuen was laboring under a blow from which it would take him some time to recover. "Well, well." said his companion, cheerily, "you will soon make that all right. One of these days you will be capturing Delarey." "Possibly Delarey will capture me," was Methuen's reply, as he turned away. Typewriting In Natal. The South African Gazette says that shorthand and typewriting are now rogular subjects of instruction In all the public schools of Natal. It's the unexpected that is usually expected to happen.