University of South Carolina Libraries
THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA L. C. HAYNK, Pres't F. G. FORD, Cashier. Capital, $250,000. Undivided Truflla } ?110,000. . Facilillos of oar magnificent New Vanlt Isontalulng 410 iafetv-Loelc Boxes. Differ l*nt Sizes are offored to our patron* and the public at ?3.00 to ?10.00 per annum. THE PLANTERS LOAN AND SAVINGS BANK, AUGUSTA, GA, Pays Interest on Deposits. Accounts Solicited L. C. Hayne, President. Chas, C. Howard, Cashier. VOL. LXVII EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY. MAY 7. 1902 NO.-19. A TALE OF A E IBr ABTHUB I The master diver was toralng over some of his old helmets. Long and corrupting acquaintance wiih salt wa ter had lelt ' the tinned-? ver copper bulbs a rusty, greenish gray. "Wh/- don't I keep them polished up?' he said. "Because they're a great deal better the way they are. A shiny new helmet is one eternal nuisance; you never get any peace till it's coated over. When I'm wearing ono, I al way* feel as li ray head was a sort of telling spoon; anyhow, most fish re gard it thit way. A Ad 1 must say they do certainly seem to be trying their level best to be caught. "I often think that with the ma jority of seal-casts life must be ona long strudle between a natural wari ness and a more than natural curios ity. They've all been brought up to give a wide oiling to things they don't understand; but it's bred in 'their bone to want to see and keep up with everytiwng tn at's new. And when it's something mat's got a glitter or polish to it, all that their parents and guar dians have taught mern from the be ginning of time isn't going to hold them back. "And no one has such opportunities to find that out as the diver. At first, when you're being lowered, there's nothing but a flicker of tails disap pearing in every direction; but after a while, and very soon if you're wear ing a new headpiece, you begin to make out big pairs of goggle eyes staring at you from the under-sea twilight, and they gradually move in closer and closer. In a few minutes probably they'll bc making little darts at your fingers and swishing their tails across your face. "And yet in some cases they may not be at all hesitating about introduc ing themselves. Down in the West Indies there's a fish of the forward sort That's the booby. Did you ever see a skate when a iishman's tied a cord around his neck, bent his silly face forward, and set him up on a table to keep things gay and humor ous in the market? Well, a booby looks something like that. "But wich all his amazing ugliness, it isn't the booby's look1; so much as his overwhelming suddenness that makes him unpopular with deep sea men. A diver goes down, and along with the other fish the booby hears of it. But is he shy and timid about coming forward? The minute he hears of a miraculous stranger in his midst, my, but he does more than 'want to know!' He's not even content to 'walt for the extrys,' as you might say; he's got to rush straight down town to see tie bulletins! * "The first thing the unsuspecting ."-- .* i . ? . y * ._?. forward" face-plate; and between his being jarred like a ship ia a bow-on collision, and his being given the firm belief that he's had a visit from the very old grinning demon of the under sea himself, he's ready to put for the surface like a stampeded derrlck holst, and do his recovering slow and at leisure. He's lucky if the booby hasn't tried the thickness of both his side-plates, too, before he's safe over the gunwale! "There's another sea beast that has his own peculiar curiosity, and that's the giant squid; but there's nothing so very humorous about their little prying inquisitiveness. Once in the Mediterranean one gave mc a half hour which I thought,would leave me gray-headed. Just h orv near lt was to being my last ?ive I'll never know. "It happened in the end of the sum mer, wbin I'd been on that job near Shanghai, and I was coming home by way of Suez when I got a wire at Port Said from headquarters direct ing me to take my gear and side track myself direct to Palermo, Sicily. When I got there-and I didn't lose any time making connections-I found that a badly moored liner had pinched a big lighter between herself and the mole-the long stone wharf and break water the Palermese are so proud of ano, smashing it abtam, had sent it to the bottom. It was a government lighter, and its cargo was an unusually valuable one-would run $40,000 or $50,000 in our monr-y-and I was to do what I couid toward hoisting a good fat salvage out of it. "It was simple, easy work. There were two or three hundred medium sized cases to derrick up, and for me it wasn't much more than snap-to the chain-hooks and give the word to haul away. "In fact, there was only one thing which kept thc job from being exactly the kind I like; I couldn't seem to make good tenders of the Italian sea men they'd given me to work with. They would pump steadily enough, but had no head at all for signal tak ing; and before long I was practically regulating my air supply, and timing ny descent?; for myself. "I never got too little wind, and when I got too much I simply opened a wristband and flabbied out in no time. Then, too, I had a leaded ca ble ladder dropped from the side of the mole to the deck of the lighter and I climbed up and down that with out any useless telegraphing. After the first week I told them not to bother looking for any signals but those to let down and haul up the hoisting tackle. "For all the Italians were stupid about a diving 'hose and line,' they were mighty goott fellows; and in the evenings, when they could get off, I had great times with them and their friends. Queerly enough, too, most of my fun was in going fishing for the squid. They way of catching it was a new idea to me. They take 20-foot cane poles and fasten bunches of stur geon hooks to tne ends of them, like a lot of very short lashes on very long whip-stocks; and they manage to get / 'Signor Pulpu'-as the polite Paler? mese call the beast-tangled up in them pretty badly. "They do their fishing on nights when there's a moon, for squid make it their habit to spend their day out it sea and to come back inshore late in the evening. When it is moonlight t?u y can be spotted very casay. for IF A GIANT SQUID. )EEP-SEA DIVER. D. MCFARLANE. they swim just below the surface, and their pinwheel motion roughens up the water above them till the bright sil ver is in oxidized whorls. As soon as a pulpu has circled himself into strik ing distance a bunch of hooks ls slid under him, and one fine Italian twist ana jerk does his business before bc knows what's killed him. "And they're not slaughtered wan tonly, either, but the pot and oven, like any otner fish. Although I was naturally rather stand-offish about them at first, after I'd tasted them boiled in oil and caraway seed, and lathered over with eggplant sauce, I couldn't help owning that Americans aren't the only people who know what's good. "I suppose, too, my eating them changed my way of looking at squid a lot; anyhow, even vhile we caught most of them off the very mole that I was working beside, I don't think I gave two anxious thoughts to them when I was in the water. More than likely that was because those Td seen caught never weighed more than 25 i pounds, and because I took it for granted that they were al' out at sea in my working hours. Well, they weren't all under 25 pounds, or* all out at sea at daylight, cither! "I learned this one afternoon when something went wrong with the jerry rigged derrick we were using. For half an hour no tackle had come down to me, and at last I got tired of doing nothing. I d never been between decks at all, for as the boat was a common lighter, everything I'd had to handle was piled up above; but now that I had the time, I thought I'd like to see how the Sicilian lighterman had his living quarters furnished. So I climbed down the hatchway ladder. "You often hear people speaking of 'black darkness,' and, as I've had . cause to know, it's possible for some caves and mine cuttings to be pretty pitchy; but they're nothing to what the hold of a wreck can show. When you're down any depth to speak of, there's almost no such thing as re fracted light; if you don't get it in the form of direct rays, you don't get it at all. "When I stepped out of the shaft of hatchway twilight ir.i o the 'tween decks shadow ic was like passing through a curtain; and as I felt my way toward where the cook's galley ought to be, it was like thrusting my arms and legs inio a new element one thicker than water and not even liquid; it was kind of furry and seemed to slide and creep. "It had its eiiect on me, and the gloom and 'lonesome horrors' that no uiver ? Tking in darkness is: ever nie,wt iu??d?niy somethi^^^'J^S and r. i about my wrist. It was like a ig roll of cold, slippery elastic. "lt held me only a moment, but it left me water-kneed, goose-fleshed and swallowing. I don't Know where my blood went to, but I know it dropped out of my heart as if an exhaust had teen opened in the DOitom of it; and on my feet were the pigs of lead that hold you down in nightmares. "I stayed right there; listening to my pulse beating in my ears and feel ing myself grow sick; and when I did pull myself together enough to reach for the signal line, my arm was clutched like a flash. The next mo ment my other was a prisoner, too. Then the tentacles began to nose about all over me nae eels. "I did not need my eyes to know what it was. Pd heard of the curiosi ty of the giant rock squid, and I'd often watched the little ones in the Palermo aquarium. They'll lay hold of sometning nev.' to them, and paw it over deliberately by the hour, squeezing and pulling it, and never letting go for a minute. "All this came back to me, and I could judge the size of the squid that hau got hold of me by t.?e length of its arms. Its eyes told its DUIK, too; for when Td got my strength again, and my struggling began to turn its curiosity into anger, they came out phosphorescent in the darkness. They were hideous anough danger signals, and as I wrenched and heaved they lighted up uglier and uglier. For all I could do the grip on* me only tight ened. "But it wasn't the tightness of thc grip that was sending me crawling shudders through me; it was the kind of grip it was. For the suckers-and there were two rows of tnem on every arm-began to 'set' and 'draw.' They glued thembelves to mc all over, but I felt their mouth worst on my bare hands and wrists. . Sometimes I would get hold of the end of an arm, and twist it off me; but it only gave and stretched like the elastic it was. I knew that as soon as I had to relax the tension it would spring back again. And every minute or two the brute spat its sepia; I could smell it even through my rubber suit. I fought and yelled like a crazy man, for my nerves had gone; but the thick 'hough! hough!' the beast makes when its blood is up was all the answer and heed it gave me. "Yet In that first terror it hadn't rightly come over me what my real danger was. It was only when I had struggled and screamed myself tired and had gasping leisure for clear thinking that 1 realized what thc end of it was likely lo be. My first thought was, that, after all, I couldn't be choked to death nor my air supply shut off. and it would only bc a mat ter of time till I and the brute would be hauled up together. "Then of a suauen my mind went back to the aquarium again, and I- re membered that whenuver thc little squids in it caught a fish, or anything else soft enough, they never failed to finish handling it by pushing out tnat chisel-edged, parrot beak of theirs, and ripping it up just as a child might an old rag doll. Its head had only to let go whatever it was holding to in the galley, the beak had only to reach the breast of ray suit or even to slit up one of my sleeves to drown me as sure as if there weren't a diving pump with in a thousand miles of Palermo. "I think I went into a kind o' de lirium then, filling my helmet full ol senseless screeching till it rang like a Chinese gong, jerking and writhing i the brute's arms, and Anging my head back and forward in the crazy hope of sending up a signal that way; but I had too much slack, and I knew they'd probably not heed it, anyway. "All thc time the. suckers were draw ing steadily stronger; from the first nip and sting, I felt now a long burn ing ache. One arm was coiling itself more and moro around my neck. I could hear it rub squeaking about my copper collar, and as it tightened I knew it was bringing the head grad ually closer, "The sepia was now as vile as two year bilge. As I foamed and fought, the eyes stood out like great apols with candles behind them, and the lights in them turned crueler and crueler at every heave I gave. I couldn't think or pray. I could only rave at thc Ital ians up above for letting me bo done to death like this. "Suddenly I felt the hose and lino growing taut. Thc next minute I was off my feet, and there was a terrific tug as the squid's anchorage in the galley was broken. But we were lifted steadily up, he still gripping to me, and so in one big clump we came to the hatchway. He tried to get a pur chase on it as we squeezed through, but he didn't I was in luck that he had such other things to think of, for they kept his beak off me. "No, I didn't end up by fainting or anything like that. When they'd un screwed my face plate, I just sat on the side of the mole and did a little laugh ing and crying both at onc-e. I can remember y~i the outlandish sound I made; it was for all the world like thc squawking of an old rooster when you've laid his poor neck across the chopping block. "It was two days before I could key myself up to putting the armor on again. Even then you could still Fee thc red marks all over my hands and wrists; you can make them for your self by touching your skin with a pneumatic nozzle for a second, or even by sucking hard with your lips. "My tenders said they had hauled mc up because they'd felt a queer, steady pulling on the hose. Probably the brute had got. hold of it with one of his arms, and had reefed in the slack to see what it was; its curiosity may have been my salvation after all. However, my grng took all the credit for it. and they prepared to boil and eat two of Signor Pulp-i's legr, by way ot cclcbratirg thc event. But first they put him whole on the scales. He weighed only 7!) pounds-but. as the celcbialion showed, it was all pretty solid muscle. "That least petered out before it was really well started. Even 'fore-the mastjaws couldn't manage it; they cast anchor in the first chop. As for mc, that was no great disappointment, for I'd been content to look on. Some how, I still felt stand-offish towa that squirt. Eating your conquer enemy is kind of un-American, an J^ay.':-Youth's_Companion.__.?? GUAINT ANO CURIOUS. A shoe firm in Toledo, Ohio, haj traced to the depredations of mice, lossv -. in greenbacks and ether paper money which have amounted to $20, OOO in four years. Hon. Lilah Constance Cavendish, the 17-year-old daughter of Lord Ches ham, is the owner and manager of a black farm near her father's estate, in Buckinghamshire. Here she keeps black cattle, black horses, black sheep, black goats, black clog, black cat, black rabbit-black everything that is to bo seen on a farm. The type of horseshoe uitimon in tho Orient is a plate fitter so as to rover the entire bottom of the hoof, - Jt a perforation in the centre. Thc v. 'ght of the average horseshoe is three-fourths of a pound. The native smiths usually cut these plates from sheets of wrought iron and rudely shape them for the purpose in view. Evanston, 111., boasts the oldest "co ed" of any educational institution in the country- Mrs. Virginia Waterman is a student in the Northwestern acad emy at the agc of GO, and she expects to take a full college course. Mrs. Waterman will bp graduated from the academy this year and will then go to Cornell university, where she expecU to take up her residence with " the other girls" in Sage hall. A Tuscan noble who flourished dur ing the seventeenth rcniury had the ceilings of his palace lined with ex quisite mirrors ol the finest quality of glass, while a cont en: pena ry of his adopted a similar device, the mirrors, however, being fiecked with gorgeous flowers of al hues of the rainbow. The effect presented by the latter decora tion was reputed to be exceedingly picturesque, and one may well con ceive that such was indeed the case. A single cocoon of the ordinary silk worm wili frequently give a double thread 1100 feet in length. The an cestors of that caterpillar, when the Chinese first domesticated them, about 45?0 years ago, could not spin half as much web as would make for them selves a comfortable blanket. Plenf; of good food and warmth have done much to raise the domestic silkworm above its wild relations, but what has chiefly helped them is that the poor specimens have always been killed off and only the biggest and strongest kept. So?? i mr from Mountain Top?. Standing on the highest mountain say at a height of 26.t?Q8 'eet, which ii slightly over five mile^ above sea leve -on a clear day a man can see to ,i distance of 200 miles. To sec object! at a distance of 100 miles the observe! must be standinr; at a height of GGIM feet above the level of thc sea. Thc rule is that ibu distance in miles al which an object, on the earth's sur face may be seen is equal to the square root cf ono and one half times thc height of tho observer in feet above the sea level, allowance being made for the effect of atmospheric refrac tion. One's ow? words arc very i$?*et un tl! one is fc/? -1 S.'.S Yr:-.'. fi Refining Ijold and Silver 1 in tile [ T ls au interesting process that ls used nt the United States Assay Office in New York City in refin ing gold nnd sil ver bullion. After the assayer has (Stamped his bars . the owner cnn either take away these bars, which have now been officially certified as to their purity, or the Government will purchase them according to its need. The work of refining and melting is carried on In thc rear building, and ls under the charge of Mr. B. T. Martin, PRESSING PRECIPITATED ? who became Melter and Refiner in 1SS3, having been connected with the Mint service since 3S50. The bars now purchased by the Government are classified, as far ns possible, into h groups which represent approximately the same degree of fineness. They are first melted in crucibles aud furnaces heated by gas or coal. Then they are poured into molds which are so ar ranged as to permit a large surface be ing exposed to thc acid. The bullion is mixed in such proportion that the gold or silver which is mixed, or has been added to assist in the process, shall not exceed one-third or one twelfth, respectively, of its entire weight. About 200 pounds of these granulations are plaeed in each of +he large kettles on the upper floor, shown in our en erm vin? -"? ', sulphuric acid. This is termed the "separating room," for here tho, silver is separated from thc gold. About 200 pounds of sulphuric acid are added gradually during approximately three hours' bolling. The silver Is also dis solved and the resulting solution is siphoned off into reducing vats on the floor below. Another charge of 150 pounds Is added and heated for one and one-half hours, when it is also run off. The fire having been with drawn, a third change of acid is add?>d and the gold is taken out with n per forated iron ladle and put in small kettles. Here it is heated iu three successive charges of acid for about six hours. The gold is emptied Into the washing tub where it is treated with one charge of cold and two of warm water. The^c colutlons are poured Into thc washing jar, from which, on settling, tile solution is run into large tanks on the floor below. The gold is emptied into one of the filters, SEPARATING TH li GOLD FROM ' SULPHUR] , ! then roughly washed with warm water I j and drained. This process is repeated , and the gold is pressed into a cake . i or cheese with the aid of a hydraulic '. j press. These cheeses are then dried In - an oven and melted and cast into j bars of from IWT1^ to OOS'/j thousandths I flne , \ The silver was entirely dissolved by , j the acid, and the next process is to re I cover lt from its liquid state. In the ; i silver reducing vats, ingots or bars , ! of copper are placed on end around the 1 sides next to the heating coils and subjected to ten or twelve hours' boil ' fng. The resulting copper solution is . / run off through a Hiter into a educen ! troting vat. The silver remaining OB ' }Jie copper bars is scrap -d off ;>nd thc ?averniput Assay Office j| .whole of it is token out and put in a filter, copper hoes and shovels being used. After washing it is pressed into cakes, dried and melted with sodium nitrate as a flux. It is then cast into bars of a fineness of 909 to 1000 fine. The whole process depends upon the fact that sulphuric acid has more of an affinity for copper than for silver. The solution of copper sul phate which has been formed is strengthened by boiling about ten hours. It is then run off into the crys tallizing vats. In from two to three days the mother liquor is run off into the large tank on tin: floor below; from SILVER INTO -CHEESES. whence It is run off into the carboys or tanks of its purchasers. The crys tals of copper sulphate (blue vitriol?) are taken from the sides and bottom of the vats, drained and .subsequently redissolved in water and run off into the crystallizing vats agaiu. The crys tals form on load trips and are very handsome. Th? proceeds of the blue vitriol and mother liquor nearly cover the entire cost of the acid and copper. The acid is conveyed by gravity about the building. Each bar is stamped with its fineness and weight, and these marks arc accepted all over the world. Bars are of various sizes, those of a value.of ?S00? being preferred. Bars are made all sizes to accommodate even the small manufacturer, small bars Of S100 TvnvH. hnlnw mnrln r One of our engravings represents bars of various sizes with the value stamped upon them. The smallest bar at the left is worth about $103. Then the bars run up in size to SS000. Two silver bars are shown at the back. A "gold brick" has come into our lan guage as thc ;n?ome of fraud, and that they are a grim reality is shown by the four samples which were placed upon the truck. They are of all sizes and shapes to meet thc varying fancy of their victims and aro rarely of the shape of the Mint bars. Two of them would have been worth $1 S.0D0 had they been actually of gold instead of base metal. Those who arc in need of gold bricks should be willing to pur chase them at the regular rates, and all sizes may be had at the Mint office. -Scientific American. Vocal Talents or thc Coyote. The coyote's vocal talents arc his first to command notice. Every one who has had even the least experience on the plains of the Southwest has heard it. He never raises his voice THE SILVER BY BOILING WITH [C ACID. between sunrise and sunset. The In dians call him a ventriloquist, for he can so place his voice that even the oldest plainsman cannot tell whether thc howls come from casi, west, north or south. Truly, there can be no sound so weird, Startling, and baining as thal from the throat of one ol' these health] and hungry brutes, li is an iudeserib able medley of wail, shriek, bark whine, and groan, anil Hie rapidity ol the sounds .ind the glibness ol' the al teratious in key are well-nigh jncred ible. His howl cannot in any way b< compared with the long, rasping cr: of the wolf, or thc bronchial bark o thc <log. Then. too. no other anima] i in this cotmtry at lea.-.-, eau be heart ? so far.-New York L'est. flORN July, 5, 1853, in thc village of Bi Died March'26,1902, in a cabin in Ca] Landed in Durban in June, 1870, a pe Died the autocrat of South Africa, wit Cecil John Rhodes will always hold self-made men. Ile owed his prosper! to his capacity for seeing an opportun tenacity in retaining any advantage c self. He was the fourth son of a counti powers which he once held, Cecil Jolie South Africa." The great dream of Kl lug his hand over a map of thc scatt the British colonies were colored red, red." Rhodes's fortune was estimatec 000,000. He never married. DtiRtpun mid Sprinkler. The invention Illustrated below is a combination dust pan and floor sprink ler for household use, and has been patented by Camille St. Hilaire. It provides a utensil which may be used alternately for sprinkling the floor and taking up the sweepings, without either function interfering with tho action of the other. The dust pan is provided with a binged cover, by which the dirt and litter may be re MClttftiUg wtci bu IVUbU ?% ?. ??M ...4*.... The rear portion is taken up with the COMBINATION HOUSEKEEPING UTENSILS reservoir, and a screw cap is provided, to be removed for Ailing. When used as a sprinkler tho pan is grasped as shown, with the lid closed, a swinging motion of the air driving the water through the finely-perforated head in a fine spray. To Improve tho rio. Even New England pies do not taste as fine with the juice cooked out and burned up ou the bottom of tin; oven, and perhaps this deterioration from loss of the juice has induced Frank E. Keyes to design the pie-juice saver here shown. The cup may be of alum inum or other metal, and has a tube extending downv, rd from the centre lo be forced into thc crust in the mid dle of the pie. To prevent th? hole thus made in the crust from expand ing and allowing tho juice to escape outside an annular Hange surrounds tho cup a "id is pressed into the crust when tho cup is applied. During thc process of baking ?hp juico inside is forced up through The tube into the cup by the action of tho steam, but as soon as the pie is removed from thc oven and permitted to cool Hie juice will dow from thc cup nae!: into ibo pie, ?'nus preserving all Hie goodness of the fruit flavor, without which the pie HETLT.NS THE JUICE AETEB JJAS.ING. would be comparatively dry and not so pleasant to the palate. Possibly the cook who is provided with one of these juice savers might undertake to fur ther improve the flavor of the pie by pouring into it through the cup liquids which did not originate beneath the upper crust. Soudanese Ciirrcm-.v. In a handbook for travelers in the Soudan, issued by ?he Egyptian Gov ernment, referring to the currency, it is quaintly observed that "lu the more undressed parts of thc country" beads and bracelets are current. In rho sec tion on shooting there is a pleasant reference to .he spurting tourist, whe is warned that only crocodiles may bc shot ar from steamers, and even this practice is deprecated as being "more dangerous to the riverain population than the crocodile." Supply <?f FJnhnpplnuM Inexhaustible. It is queer that no matter how rici you are you can't buy happiness, bu no matter how poor you are. you cai ge! all the unhappiness you want fo; nothing.-New York Press. Impire Builder. [shop's Stafford, Hertfordshire, England, pe Town. nniless consumptive lad. ii a reputed foriuue of $100,000,000. a prominent place in the front rank of ty partly to good fortune, but mainly ity, his boldness in seizing it. and his if which he had once possessed h'm ry parson. Although shorn of the great i Rhodes died the "uncrowned klug of icdes's life was expressed when, draw led States of South Africa on which he said: "That is my dream-that all 1 anywhere from $00,000,000 to S100, Irrigation at Loir COBT. The solution of the problem of irri gation rests largely in the quantity of water available and ability to direct lt about the land at low cost. David the plant, which ls in itself inexpen sive. In the illustration is shown a machine in operation. It consists of a frame resting on the bank of the stream, supported either by its own weight or anchored to piles driven in the earth, with a shaft poised at an an glo of forty-five degrees to support a series of buckets revolving between the stream and thc discharge trough on the frame. The buckets are mount ed cn arms radiating from the shaft, and besides each bucket is a broad paddle blade which dips into the water as tho lowest point is neared, the action of the current revolving the shaft and elevating the buckets in turu to the highest point of revolution, where they are tilted automatically to discharge their contents into the trough. Though the strength of the current may be small, the quantity of water elevated will yet be large, as the flow is regular and unceasing. For Uso on tlio Railroad. A prominent French firm of automo bile manufacturers has constructed a machine designed for railroad use. It is fitted with a motor of three and one. FOB RAILROAD USE._ half horse power. The frame is tubu lar throughout, and the transmission of power is by bevel' gears. The Hanged wheels are of aluminum, with steel tires. The two brakes are very powerful, and it is possible to stop all four wheels instantly, no matter at what speed the machine may be trav eling. The operator sits behind, on a regular bicycle saddle, and in front lhere is room for two persons on the cushioned sear. The total weight ia about GOO pounds. This machine ls being used for a variety of purposes in connection with railroad work. Mere Opinion. Many a mau who is calling for jus tice would run if he thought he were iu danger of getting il. Every minute a mau spends regret ting whai he neglected to do as a boy doubles the waste. The man who is willing to take things as they come doesn't get many of them. It is hard for a woman to remember while seeing the postman going past that no news is good news.-Chicago Record-Herald. Famous Horsoi.uili?li. The Utile town of Malin, in Bo 1 hernia, would (lou lit less never have ' been heard of outside of local districti. ' were il not for the fact that it pro ' duces the finest horseradish in thc 1 world. Malin horseradish is known all over Europe, and one of tho de partment experts. Mr. Fairchild, has i been successful in obtaining a large t number of cuttings of the best variety j i of this famous plant, which are to be r I distributed among the growers io I this country.-Washington Star. THE WINNER. He eats potatoes with his knife, He speaks of "the old womau" whea He makes a reference to his wife, But he receives salutes from mon Who have no time to notice me; His speech is rude and rough, he's cat From coarse material, and ho Hos dene tho world no service-but He's making money. Art is to him an empty word, To him the bar I is but a jest; No graceful sonnet ever stirred Responsive chords within, his breast; With elbows .?quared he crowds along, All ignorant of culture's lawn, And gentle people in the throng Stand back and bow to him-because Ho's making money. -S. E. Klser, in Chicago Becord-Herald. HUMOROUS. Nell-I don't believe the is really in love, telle-Why do you say that? Nell-Oh, he never seems to act fool ishly. Sillicus-Why do women kiss each other so much? Cynicus-It's simply an indication of the natural wasteful ness of the sex. "The higher one's political ambi tion is-" began the orator. "The higher it costs," interrupted the dis appointed candidate. He-Did you say he was a million aire? She-No; a milliner. He-Well, that should be the same thing if he collects his bills regularly. "What's the matter?" asked the rooster; "more absent-mindedness?" "Yes," replied the hen; "I can never find things where I lay them." "Eeauty is only skin deep," re marked the Wise Guy. "Yes, and some people are pretty thin skinned at that," murmured the Simple Mug. "Are you sure you love me for my self alone," asked the romantic young woman. "Well," replied the practical young man, "I don't think I love you for any one else." Wigg-That messenger boy is the slowest thing alive. I wonder what will become of him when he.grows up. Wagg-Maybe he will develop into a great chess player. "I am at the door," said the Wolf, in a loud voice, "and I am coming in." "All right," responded the meek man, "but you had better wipe your feet on the mat before my wife catches you." "Why are you crying, little boy?" "One of t-them artists paid me a dime to sit on the fence while he sketched me." "Well, is there any harm in that?" "Yes, s-sii?; it was a barb wire fence." Nurse (who had been many hours on duty-to patient's mother)-When do you think I shall be abie to go to bed? Patient's Mother-Go to bed? I thought you were a trained nurse.' - Punch. str .:. .... :.? :t *\\ up *.ryinff"to tell her friends what's the matter with her." New York Street Traffic. New York suffers greatly from the overcrowded conditions of her streets, and especially of those .great arteries which run north and south. So heavy is thc traffic that a slight congestion at once produces confusion and delay. Yet the simple road rule of always driving to thc right, rigidly carried out, would obviously facilitate travel and diminish the danger of accidents. In European cities the road rule is impartially and even implacably en forced. Enrope has been longer in the business of handling crowded streets than we have and can give us valuable pointers. The strict enforcement of the road rule is one of these. At corners where great arterial streets cross each other there is room for vast improvement in the police management. The American system is largely a go as you please one, and j cariages and pedistrains generally I cross these junctions as best they may. it would be wiser, safer and quicker, if the police would allow first one street's traffic and then thc other's to cross alternately. In European cities, too, half way across the streets are placed safety reservations on which those on foot can pause for breath and bide their time in getting across. In New York, once loose from the curb on a crowded street, no vantage spot short of thc other curb exists, and to reach that goal frequently calls for athletic feats that would put a profes sional gymnast on his mettle. These safety oasis serve another good turn, for they divide traffic and do much to keep vehicles on the right side of the street, and thus prevent colisions. New York Tribune. Greek Husbands RS Housekeepers. In Greece it is the custom for the man of the house to go out early in th'e morning and not only to order the day's food but to send along with the boy who delivers it explicit orders how he wishes the various dishes prepared, writes Milton Marks, in Good House keeping. In this connection it should be remarked that any man of Greece j can cook any Greek dish. The women j are never seen at market, and often j do not know how to cook as well as . their husbands. These people eat very lightly in the I morning; usually coffes ana a little fruit. At noon comes the first real i meal, the breakfast. From noon un ! til 4 o'clock they sleep. This is the mid-day siesta. To call upon a Greek at this time were quite as rude as to call upon an American at o corre sponding hour in the morning. At 4" o'clock another light luncheon is er* en. The dinner, or hearty meal, is not eaten until late in the evening-some times as late as 9 or 10 o'clock. Decrees of Hnpplness. "Algy, dear," she murmured, "I should be hapy if I could walk through life hand In hand with you but-" .M3ut what, dearest?" he anxiously asked. "But I should be happier if I could rid?."-Tit-Bits.