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L BUDGET OF FUN . | HHUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM ; . VARIOUS SOURCES. The/Cold Day AVlien He Was Left? AfControliiiK Feature?Full of Enthusiasm?A Popular R-ostinjj i Place?Pedestriauism, Etc. V ,-Ble?> me, tailor!" Hoffy cried: B "You've nmde these trousers all too wide! j The wind blows way up the inside."' g Then replied the tailor bold: B "TTrtf ma tliiv iJjlV tfMV sflMllf'tll cold: (You know, your bill is growing old full of j5jrrnrsiA5M. ' Brow a?"You show a good (leal of boyish enthusiasm over your coming trip to Europe. Why, you've crossed several times before, haven't you?" Hobinson?"Yes, hut this is my first j trip without my wife."?Epoch. CONTROLING FEATURE. Brown?''The facial features plainly 1 indicate character and disposition. In selecting your wife were vou governed by jher chin?" 5$" j Jones?''Xo. but I have been ever j eince we married."?Om<tha World. * ' rEDESTRIAXI?5>r. * Jones (to fat friend)?;iDo you walk i * much?" Fat Friend?"Well, I should say so. j I expect to lose twenty-five pounds." j Jones?"Good idea. The more you i lose the more you'll gain, as far as per- | sonal appearance is concerncd."?Texas Siftint/s. [ " . but tiif. young max didn't go. Old Mau (at the head of the stair* at a. >r.)?"Susie, what time is it?" I Susie (with a second look at Reginald, : ^ who loosens his grip)?;1A few minutes past 10, papa." I Old Man?'-Don't forget to start the clock again when you go to bed."? 'Yankee Blade. a rOPCI.ak RESTING tlace. She?"Don't you admire Gothic archi- I ^ tecture in churches, John? There is [ i something about it that suggests re- j pose." I He?"I dunno. Pretty much any ! style of a church suggests repose to me? r provided the pews are comfortable."? 'Boston Transcript. COMPETENT IN iiis LINE. Seedy Visitor?''Have you any vacancies on your editorial staff?" Managing Editor?"Who are you?" / S. V.?"I am a doctor by profession." aamM : managing XAUIUI?"imuii wuum juu do on the paper?" S. V.?"I could edit tlie general news of the weak."?Voice. WHERE FRIENDSHIP CEASES. Emeline?"Mamma wiil give her con- | Bent only too quick when you ask her, J but I'm afraid papa will hold off." Jack?'-"What makes you think that? He has always been very friendly with me." Emeline?"Yes, Jack; but this is a matter of business."?Time. TOUCHED A TENDER CHORD. / Tramp?"Kind lady, will you give me lomething to eat?" Lady?"We have some chops left over from breakfast. You can have those." Tramp (with a scornful look)?"Excuse me* thpv fire a little too suirpestive of the ! ?~ i "j ?oe> woodpile. I couldn't take any comfort eating 'em.*'?Kearney Enterprise. JTE "WoTTLD TROVE HIS LOVE. Amelia (in an insane interval).?<!Oh, Arthur, I fear you do not truly love me?" Arthur (struck to the heart)?"Not love you, my darling! What can I do to prove my devotion?" Amelia (frantically)?"I know not!" Arthur (after a pause)?"Will you? will you plav something on the piano?"? Pud. A TERRIBLE RISK. Young Wife?"A tramp came to the door this morning, to get something to eat. I gave him a pie, and'he asked me if it was of my manufacture. I said, 'yes,' and then he said he wasn't of much account anyway, and he'd risk eating it. The wretch." i Young Husband?"I guess, my dear, that that tramp must be a married man." ? Yankee Blade. "111E. UltA OAV ri . Customer?:;There's oue drawback to i a business like yours." Barber?"What is that?" 4'It is impossible for men of your call- , ing to get rid of unpleasant acquaint- j ances." ^ ~ "I-would like to know why?" ''You can't afford to cut anybody."? j Boston Courier. GLOOMY PROSPECTS. "Wholesale Merchant?"We will give your boy a chance, sir, to learn the busi- ! nese, but the first year he will not receive i any salary." Father of the Boy (dubiously): '-What will he get the secoud year?" "Merchant?"Well, if he is faithful and apt, the second year we will double Vir? rrpfa thp first " 'Rnnrh " ~ ? ?" A TRIFLJE DISCOURAGED. i ] Captain (outward bound, to passenger) ] ?' Are you feeling any better to-day, sir?" Passenger (discouraged)?;'No, worse if anything." Captain?"Ob, you'll be all right in a j day or two, so don't give up the ship!" Passenger?No, I'll hold on to the ship if I can, but by George, I've given up about every thing else!"?Epoch. OOT THEM MIXED. ''What kind of a bird do you call ! that?" asked ine heavy-voiced guest of a ' . waiter in the hotel dining-rooju. "That's a canvas-back duck, sir." ' Canvas-back?'' "Yes, sir." "I guess not. You've been keeping ; ithe canvas-back ducks and the soleleather-back ducks in the same refrigerator and got them mixed."?Merchant J Traveler. A PHILANTHROPIST. Trarnp?'"Thank you very much for the lunch, mum; but could you spare me , twenty-five ccnts?" Woman?"Mercy! What do you want with twenty-five cents?" j Tramp?"Well, I don't want it for | m j myself, mum. I'm just collecting a little j | money here and there, the same as the I rest of the profession, ami when we get j enough we're going to found :t homo for i | destitute tramps."? mOFESSIOSAIj CONCENTltATIOX. ' That wa? a terrible thing,*' said | Jeuks to the family physician. I ' What was that?" asked the doctor. "That uprising among the iron foundries.'' ' Xo, I haven't heard of it." ' It Wits a general breaking out: an extremely rash affair." i4fiut. my dear sir." said the doctor in j a far-away prc-occupied tone, "there is | nothing remarkable in that. A breaking j out is it) t';c natural cruirsc of tilings a j rash alluir."?Marfiunt Tractltr. v? m? i#1 A dastardly trump. knowing v'.ic was entirely unprotected, entered tlie I liomc of ft frail. meek-eyed little woman ; in Montana ami ?aid vivagely: ' Now, madam, yon want to jist iiy 'round and ,yit me up a square meal, an' a mighty good out*, too! Don't let no grass grow under your feet while you're 'Ijout it, neither, or I'll *' Half an hour later the frail, meek-eyed j little woman hailed a passer-by and said calmly: "I've got a feller lavin' on my kitchen j floor tied up with a clothes-line and gagged with a towel, that I'd like yon to j help me dump him into my wagon so's I j kin take him to town. I've an idee .ij couple of his ribs is broke, an' his head ' needs so win' up in three or four places, j an' his shoulders 'pears to be out o'j'int. ! lie got kinder sassy an' I had ter let *im ' know who was boss, yer know."? ! JJ.-ide't Masagine. I The Richest of All Plants. What is ramie? T" ' ".-I- !>n?1inlintiinic!? Jl n il.*> |na*.cu >/* UUV vx'iuiwt.. in the class of Urtica, but it is now called ' Boehnierin, or spearless nettle. I will call it by no scientific name; I j will simply call it the richest of plants, for it possesses wealth of growth, wealth i of development and wealth of fiber. In ordinary light ground, with a little water- I ing now and then by rain or irrigation, j no plant will grow so rapidly, no root j will multiply more quickly and produce more stalks; no vegetable fiber is handsomer, richer or silky than ramie. It is a perennial plant, and when once ; put in the ground it grows for over ] twenty years without replanting, giv- j ing, according to the climate, two \ and three crops a year. It is easy | of cultivation, requiring only a soil clean j and loose. It is planted in straight j rows, three feet apart, in a small uphill i form. The plants must be kept very ! close, in order to shoot forth straight stalks without any branches. It grows . about like willow, an average of lifteen to twenty switches, from six to eight and , ten feet high, covered on the upper part : with large green leaves,white underneath. Tlirmif/h its leaves ramie takes its ! nourishment from the ozoue of Jhe air. i This developed part of nojrishinent of j the plant, added to the large, extensive 1 propensity of the mother-root, from ! which run horizontally and down a lot of J rhizomes aud small roots, explain the ex traordinary vitality of the plant and its , three or lour crops a year in some coun- ' tries. The Chinese alone have, for a thousand years past, extensively cultivated the ramie plant; before them the Egyptians were shrouding the dead in magnificent winding sheets of ramie, which to this day are found in the bandages of their ; mummies.?Julei Jeienet. ' A Lapp Wolf Hunt. The Swedish Lapps live entirely with, | by, and upon their reindeer. A Lapp who owns a thousand deer is a very rich ( man; but as taxes are assessed upon the . number of deer, he is inclined to under- j estimate his herd. The most dangerous j enemy to the herd is the wolf, who, if [ disposed, can kill thirty deer iu a night. [ A band of wolves can make a rich Lap;i j poor. "When the snow is deep and soft, and , it is announced that wolf-tracks have , been seen in the neighborhood of the ! deer, the swiftest runners on snow-shoes | prepare for an exciting chase. The wolf may have a start of a mile or j two, but the track it leave? in the deep, , soft snow is so prominent that the ! hunters can follow it at their best speed, j The wolf, though he may run fast, has but a slight chance of escaping the short j men who, on snow-shoes, rush through ' the wood, dart down steep hills, and j jump from ledges several yards iu height, j Each hunter does his best to outrun the others, for the wolf belongs to the Lapp who strikes the first blow. As soon as the leading hunter is close enough to the wolf, he gives it a heavy blow across the loins with his strong, spiked snowshoe staff. If there are other wolves to hf> niifiiK-d hp kills it niitriorht; if not. he disables it and waits till all the hunt'-rs j have arrived before giving the deathstroke. It Worked Both Ways. Colonel Mosby relates the following j amusing incident, which occurred in a j cavalry fight in the Shenandoah Valley j I in 18G4 44 In the midst of a sharp cavalry en- j gagement with Sheridan's men in a ! charge near Berryville, there came riding | into our lines like a whirlwind a Yankee soldier on a black horse. A score of men | j tried to stop h.orse and rider, but the old j 'black s blood was up and he went on, ! ! clean through our lines before he was under controL The rider was sent to Libby | Prison and we mustered the black charger j into the Confederate service. A few days | later we charged some of Custer's men, and that old horse was ridden into the engagement by one of our soldiers. The old black evened up thiugs,, too, for he carried his rider into the Federal lines and never came back." Measures and Contents. A barrel requires a measure 24 inches | long by 1*5 inches wide and 28 inches ! deep. '?ai* 1*0ck requires a measure ^ jkcjics ! by S 2-5 inches square and 8 inchesdeep. j One gallon requires a measure 8 inches i by 8 inches square and 4 1-5 inches deep, j Half a bushel requires a measure 1(5 inches byS 2-5 inches wide and 8 inches i deep. Half a gallon requires a measure S in- I chcs by 4 inches square and 1 4-5 inches J deep. j Haifa barrel requires a meraure 24 in- J dies long by 10 inches wide aw* 35 in- j ( chee deep. One ton of coal requires a measure 4 j j feet long, 3 feet 5 inches wide, and 2 i . feet 8 inches deep. HOUSEHOLD MATTERS. .1ET.L1ED VEAL. Take .1 good-sized knuckle of veal, cut up and joint the bones; cover with water, sr.lt slightly, and simmer slowly until "done to rags." Take up and remove the bones, chop the meat fine, season with salt, pepper, ;;r,d herbs if liked; place in a mold, soak two or three pinches of gelatine in a little hot water for twenty minutes and add to the water the veal was boiled in; season, let it boil up, then pour over the veal in the form. When it cools and begins to stiffen put something on it to keep it down, and over that a weight: can use next day.?Detroit Free Press. OYSTER SO CP. Put over the oysters all their liquor, and stew until the edges begin to curl; then add rich milk slightly thickened with cracker dust, a generous lump of butter, pepper and salt. If liked, put some oyster crackers in the bottom of your soup tureen and pour over the soup. If liked highly seasoned, add small bits of red pepper, which can be removed after cooking, as they are very strong. To serve raw, clean some of the best shells, and place a fine, plump oyster on each one, six on a plate. Serve with a slice of lemon.? Yankee Blade. CHICKEN rOT-PIE. Cut up the bird and boil in sufficient boiling water to cover well; when tender, season with butter, salt and pepper. Make a crust as for baking powder biscuit: roll out half of it about half as thick as you ordinarily would for biscuit; spread over the surface warm (but not melted) butter; cut out and place in your baking tin. Now roll out the remainder of your dough to half an inch in thickness; cut out and place on top of the ones already in the tin. This method enables one to split them apart without injury. Thicken the broth on the chicken with flour, skim out the chicken and enter the halved biscuit for five minutes. ?New York Ncics. 0LD-FASIII0NKD FKOSTING. To the white of each egg allow one scant cupful of pulverized sugar. Have the eggs as cold as possible in a large platter. Do not beat them alone, but begin by beating half the sugar with them, adding the rest by degrees. Beat about half an hour in a cold place, or till the I mixture becomes stiff. Then stir in a little extract or lemon-juice, the latter is nicest. As soon as stiff spread over the cake, which should be previously dredged with a little flour to prevent the butter in the cake from discoloring the frosting. Put a large spoonful of frosting in the centre of the cake, and spread it smoothly with a knife dipped in hot water to prevent its sticking. When all is done set the cake in a cool place for half an hour to harden. If the top is not a good shape, frost the bottom of the cake. Allow the whites of two eggs to frost one large loaf. ?A merican Cultivalor. AN EXCELLENT BTIEAD UECirE. Take four large or five small-sized | potatoes, boil till tender, drain and mash fine; into this put one teaspoon fill of salt, two teaspoonfuls of white sugar and onethird of a good fresh yeast cake; beat all well together and mold in two balls; place each in a saucer and set in a lukewarm place till several cracks are visible. In the evening make your sponge as follows : Scald one cup of flour, stirring well, leaving no large lumps. "When cool enough so it will not scald the yeast, add water till it becomes of the consistency of cake batter, then take the potato ball and one teaspoonful of salt and mix it thoroughly with the batter, after which set it away in a lukewarm place to rise till morning. In the morning, add one cup of flour and one quart of lukewarm water; set away again until it begins to rise, which it will do in about twenty minutes; then knead for about ten or fifteen minutes, and let rise, after which mold into five or six loaves, let rise and bake. The potato ball which was left in the evening must be rsserved in a clean, cool, dry place till next baking , time. At noon, or in the evening, take | throe common-sized potatoes, boil, and proceed as before, except leaving out the i yeast and putting iu your potato ball (reserved from last baking), which! answers the purpose, mix thoroughly, and mold in two balls, set away in a warm place till they begin to crack; use the one for your sponge and the other reserve till ' the next baking.? Yankee BloAe. nousenolu hints. Sponge a shiny coat with ammonia and water. Soak machine oil stains in cold water before washing. Use none other than good soap in the kitchen, as it saves the hands. Salt dissolved in alcohol, it is said, will remove grease spots from cloth. The surest test of a frozen orange is its weight. If it is heavy in the hand it has not been frozen. uiornes ary out mucn snner wnen powdered borax is put into the hot starch just before using. A teaspoon of wheat charcoal, taken immediately after a meal, is an excellent * V- 1U VUJ 1VI muikviiiii. Cold sliced potatoes fry and taste better by sprinkling a tcaspoonful of flour over them while frying. When a felon Grst begins to make its appearance, take a leinon, cut of! one end, put the finger in, and the longer it is kept there the better. Chemists say that it takes more than twice as much sugar to sweeten preserves, sauce, etc., if put in when they begin to cook as it does to sweeten after the fruit is cooked. Individual peppers and salts, fancy and cut glass jugs for oil and vinegar, and quaint rnu6tard pots have usurped the place of castors on the home tables for a long time and continue to do so. ltusty black cashmere should be sponged with equal parts of alcohol and ammoniu, diluted with a little warm water. When pressing use a piece of alpaca or undressed cambric uext the warm iroo. Game of any soi.t which has just be gun to taint may be made fit for eating by cleaning and then washing thoroughly in vinegar and water. Charcoal is excellent ali?o, and small pieces of it should be put inside the birds after cleaning. The hearts of calve.? snd full grown animals are good, either roasted or , braised. Boiled a long fj?c and then j chopped fine, warmed in a Jittle hot ; water wid well seasoned with butter, j popper salt, they make an excellent J hash. J The three hundredth^^^versar^.of j the invention of the microscope is to life celebrated in Antwerp in 1890. Sir John Lubbock has just discovered that the death rate in London is sixteen { and one-half per thousand as against ! sevente( u and one-half in other English cities. In a Moscow foundry castings are made from metals fused in an electric furnace. | The operators work two hours per day, ' < 1 1 -! J? *1 4V??. ine glare ucmy <;re;n.ei niau mm ul iuv sun, and unendurable for a long time. An incandescent lamp arrangement for showing the interior of boilers while under steam has been made by a German inventor. The device is likely to be of practical, as well as of scientific,value. The first astronomical observatory is said to have been erected on the temple | of Belus, at Babylon; but one on the tomb of Osymandyas, in Egypt, with a golden circle 200 feet in diameter, and one at Benares, also date from a very early period. Of the first turkey in America,the only records we have are in the recently discovered fossils of the post-tertiary period. These prove that the turkey not only antedated Columbus, and even the Norseman, but that in all probability he was the original "oldest inhabitant of America." An electric balance has been exhibited in Paris. The placing in the pan of the object to be weighed closes an electric circuit, when the current operates a motor on the weight and carries the weight out on the beam until an equipoise is established, breaking the circuit. "With the emptying of the pan, the weight re| turns. The attempt to acclimatize the Swedish reindeer in the Harz Mountains of Germany has not been quite so successful as was anticipated. The heat of the summer having caused the death of many of the animals. A new attempt is to be made next spring in the Algau, which, it is expected, will give better ana last- i iog results. It has been shown very satisfactorily I that the banana plant coutains a greater I quantity of pure fibre thau any other of ! the numerous vegetable products used in the manufacture of paper. The udapta* tion of the plant to commercial purposes will, it is anticipated, revolutionize ths paper material market and largely a3ect the industry. It is not a fact generally known that the real inventor of the powder used for the "Lebel" rifles is not the Colonel of [ that name, but M.Vieille, a young French engineer. M. Vieille will be the fortunate recipient ere long of a prize of $ 10,000 awarded every three years, under the j auspices of the Academy of Science, to the author of the most important discovery made within that period. The French Professor of Chemistry, De Millefleurs, recently exhibited before a i -e meeting 01 jrarisjiiu siicmwis buvci.u bricks of petroleum, which he has discovered how to solidify by an original process. The petroleum bricks were hard enough to be handled without inconvenience, yet soft enough to be cut with a stout knife. They burned slowly when touched with a lighted match. Millefleurs says they are non-explosive and inexpensive. j, A Honolulu paper thus describes a curious substance thrown off by the molten lava and found close to the lakes of fire at the volcano: "It clings to the adjoining rocks in fiber-like threads of a flaxen color, and has the appearance of human hair; but mixed with it are sharp particles of black lava. Considering that this substance is a mineral production, it is wonderful flexible and tough?bending easily, but not ductile in its present state or capable of being lengthened. It is peculiar to this volcano, and is certainly a singular production." According to Dr. S. S. Kilvington, the Mississippi River received during the year 152.675 tons of garbage and of all, 108,250 tons of night-soil, and 3765, dead animals, from only eight cities; the Ohio, 46,700 tons of garbage, 21,157 tons of night-soil, and 5100 dead animals, from five cities; and the Missouri, 3t5,UOO tODS or garbage, zz,*uv was 01 night-soil, and 31,600 dead animals,from four cities. Dr. Kilvington urges the cremation of most of the refuge, and twenty-three out of thirty-five health officials consulted by him favored the plan. Uncle Sam's Timepieces. It costs Uncle Sam thousands of dollars a year to have his clocks wound. Every Monday morning you see men in Washington going about the departments carrying little ladders, like those used by the lamplighters. Their business is to wind and keep in order the clocks in the departments. Each man has his own department or a section of the department to look after the clocks, and this is his sole business. In some places men are employed by the month for this purpose, while in other cases the contract is let by the month or year to some enterprising clock repairer, whosendsa "journeyman" around to wind the clocks and see whether they are in order, and then goes himself to make such repairs us arc necessary. The cost of windmg and caring for the clocks in the departments runs at the rate of $75 to $100 u month in each department. There are in the Treasury Department nearly four hundred clocks. Some of these are expensive ones, and cost away up in the hundreds of dollars', though the average value of departmental clocks is not more than perhaps $15 or $20 apiece. A good many of the clocks in the halls of the public buildings, and also those in the rooms occupicd by the heads of departments are very valuable, costing away up in the huLdrcds.? Omaha World-Herald. A Second Edition of Paris. Society in Buenos Ayres, Argentine Republic, is gradually becoming more and more European. One walking" the streets just now observes that we have become almost a second edition of Pans, | says a correspondent of the Export and Fiututrur. The fashions of that gay city i i... ... - -.1 . i:i. Ti are rjpicu uy women auu men mute, ;mu the fact that we lia?'e 200,000 Frenchmen in the Republic, in round numbers, has made a decided impression on the social customs of the people. A man landing here, from Paris finds himself perfectly at home, and would hardly dream that he was so ftr away from his [ native land. The same applies equally to a Frenchwoman. She hardly misses the g^v life of the gayest capital of all ;the world. The Englishman, too, finds himself, in a certain measure, among his (own kindred her*, but to the Americaua [certain lonely feclingjis ever present. " _ - ; ;"r' * *-' * The 44 Speech-Box." The Loudon JV?f? describes the effect of the phonograph on Nasr Ed-din, the Shah of Persia. The scer.c and dialogue make a characteristic interview of the western with the eastern mind. Colonel Gouraud, who represents Mr. Edison and his phonograph in Europe, had a "good time" with the Shah at Earl Brownlow's pretty place, Ashridge, where the dusky monarch protested he had spent one of his happiest days in England. The Shah had never seen the phonograph, and Colonel Gouraud fancied he might regard it as an attempted scientific fraud or a clever conjuring trick. The Colonel, therefore, addressed the Shah,^" saying that if his Majesty prolonged his travels to America lie would be afforded as magnificent a welcome there as had Deen extenaea to mm iu uus tuuutij. j This, with more Or less import, the Colonel said, all of which was translated to the Shah by Prince Malcom Khan, and indented upon the phonograph. Then the speech was wound off .as pronounced in Persian by the Prince, whereat the Shah smote his palms together and cried: "Oh! oh!" and "Won-der-ful!" with a prolonged accent, on the Won. Anxious for more, Ms Imperial Majesty bade the poet of the suite recite some verses from the Persian Hafiz into the receiver. In the Persian court and suite it is not only the professors of ancient and occult sciences who have a position, but those of modern sciences, art and literature are included in the retinue. Out came in due course from the phonograph the verses of Hafiz, with the exact intonation of the speaker, which caused the Shah anew to clap his hands and express the utmost surprise. One thing led to another. He spoke into the instrument himself, Priijce Albert Victor did the same, and Lady Brownlow followed. Then the Duke of Abercorn uttered a few sentences; there was laughing, crying and whistling: and, finally, the band pluycd a tune at it; all of which in due , succession were afterward reeled off, to | the? astonishment of the Persians. A I pause ensued, aud his >Ia!csty laid his hand u,.on the macliine, and Prince Malcom Chan, speaking for his sovereign, said: "The Shall would like to have that instrument, or one like it." "It is at his service," said Colonel Gouraud. "But," said the Prince, "he believesit to be a new one, and the only one you have of its kind in Europe." "It is his Majesty's as though there were many more," said the astute and courtly American. "Then the Shah will take it at once to Teheran, and he would like to have some one accompany him to work it," further interpreted the Prince. The "speech-box," as the phonograph was called by the Persians, impressed the Shah greatly. He made incessant references to it during the evening, and as Colonel Gouraud was one of the party at Earl Brownlow's,he had opportunities of explaining the details of this marvelous invention. Tnc Baboon n9 an Epicure. The baboon, writes the Graaff-Reinet (South Africa) Advertiser, seems to be changing its nature with the changing climatic conditions. In former years he was a vegetarian, his worst offence being stealing mealies in the' gardens when he got a chance. Now he has taken to other ways of getting a livelihood. Said a farmer the other day to a brother farmer: "Have you lots of honey on your farm?" Answer: "No, the baboons rob all the nests." "How do they do it? The bees would sting them to death." The answer was that probably the baboons did the work in the night when the bees were drowsy, sleepy and dull. Any way, he believed the baboons got off with the swag of honey, whenever they could get a nest. Then, Mr. Peter Booysen, of Mooifontein, has his story to tell of the new development of the baboon. It attacks the wild aloe, pulls it down and tears out the pith for food. Mr. Booysen, Sr., does not object to this, as he would be glad if all the wild aloes on his farm were cleaned out by any means whatsoever. The special wish of the on/1 e/\n ic fViof tlid hnl?nn:is wnnlll take to some food-providing operation which would get rid of the prickly pear. But as the substance of the leaf and the trunk of the prickly pear is nothing but water the wish is not likely to be gratified. Any way the poisoning clubs have classcd the baboon with the wild carnivore, and the rifle and arsenic are now busy <o destroy him. I Farmers give interesting instances of the difficulty of poisoning the baboon, the fellow being about as"slim'; as a human being. One farmer believes the fellow can taste the poison as prepared and disguised for him, and if he finds it is not a good thing for his stomach, spits it out. The farmer, however, has succeeeded in giving the arsenic such palatable surroundings that the shrewdness of the baboon i% not proof against the palatable fomnfofinn and rli^c Talking 1500 Miles Through a Wire. The longest distance over which teleI phoning can be maintained is uncertain. Seven hundred and fifty miles is a common daily occurrence, but two gentlemen are reported to have quite recently carried on a protracted conversation between Charleston, S. C., and Omaha, Neb., a distance of nhnut loOO miles. Didn't Suit Iiim. 'Waiter, what is this?" . "Beef stew, sir." "Beeves, two, eh? "Well, I should think by the bones there are in it, it was at least a dozen. I say, waiter they needn't put in the hom? Tiext iim ?> " Is it tconomy to save a few cents tmyine a cheap soap or strong washing powder, and lost dollar* in ruined rotted clothes? If not, use Dobbins's Electric Soap, w hite as enow, and as pure. Ask your grocer for it. The Chinese Government is buying heavy Krupp guus for the northern forts. Last Winter :wns troubled so badly wish rheumatism In my ] right shoulder and Joints of my leg as uot to be ablo j to walk. I took Hood's SarsaparlLla, and now- j don't feol any aches or pains anywhere, and It not | only Mopped the soreness In my shoulder and ! joints, but makes me feel as lively as a teu-year- 1 old boy. 1 sell newspapers right in ran kiddle of the street every day In the year, and hnvo boon doln; so for | five years, and standing on tho cold stones ain't no ! plcnlo, Icau tell you. I enn bo seen every day In j the year at corner Tompkins and De Kalb Avenues. ?V. W. Howard, Brooklyn, X. Y. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by ail druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only .by C. I, HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mas*. _.J00 De.se s One Dollar _ . * >Ji _ * ,*; " * ' J^" J-?- * '.'^Jis,' Vv ' " -?> " '.-- 7 V-v Some Foolinb People Allow a cough to run until it gets beyond the reach of medicine. They often say: "Oh, it will wear away," but in most cases it wears them away. Could they be induced to try the tuccessful. medicine called Kemp's Balsam, which is sold on a positive guarantee to cure they would immediately see the excellent effect after taking the first dose. Price 50c. and j SI. Trial *izc free. At all druggists. TriE demand for small coins is so great that the Mint at Philadelphia is working night and day to supply it. How'8 This! We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for ! any caso of catarra that canuot be cured by taking Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. Cheney & Co., Prop?., Toledo, 0. We, the undersigned, have known F. J. | Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe him ^perfectly honorable in all business transac|rions. and financially able to carry out any ob ligations made bv their firm. \\ est & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, | Ohio. Walding, Kfcnan & Marvin, Wholesale Druggists, ToIN]p, Ohio. E. H. Van Hoetjgn, Cashier Toledo NoJonal Bank, Tolt^o, Ohio. Hall's Catarrh is taken internally, acting directly upon thtNjlood and mucfcus surfaces of the system. TCTtimonials sent free. Price 75c. per bottle. gold>nall Druggists. Mormon agents in Canada rephttjwrably upon the Canadian northwest as S'refugvfor | the saints. i A Core of Catarrh In the bead, as well as all bronchia\ throat | and lung diseases, if taken in time, is effected by using Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, or money paid for it will be promptly returned. A more pleasant physic You never will find Than Pierce's small "Pellets," The Purgative kind A house has been known to live to the age of sixty two, but averages from twenty to thirty. Oregon, the Paradise at Farmers. Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant crops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock country in the world. Full information free. Address Oregon Im'tgrat'n Board. Portland. Ore. If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomnton's Eye-water. Druggists Eell at2oc.per bottle A Chicago drugaist retailed over 100,000 "Tansill's Punch" 5c. Cigars in four months. or^B BJVjoys Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is tak en; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and ^Bowels, cleanses the system effectually, dispels colds, headaches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only, remedy of its kind ever produced, pleasing to the taste ana acceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in Its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50o and $1 bottles by all leading druggists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will procure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. 8AN FRANCISCO, CAL. tBWSVILLE, KY HEW YORK. Ht. MI IN HIS 1J1! By J. Hamilton A j ers, A. 31., .>1. D. This Ii a most valuable book for the household, teaching as It does the easily-dlsrin,'ulshsd symptoms of different diseases, the causes and means of preventing such diseases, and the simplest remedies which will alleviate or cure. 398 pages profusely Illustrated. The book Is written In plain every-day English, and Is free from ths technical terms which render most doctor books so valueless to the generality of readers. Only postpaid. Gives a complete analysis of everything pertaining to courtship, I marriage and tne prouucuou ami rearing ui utum/ families; together with valuable recipes and prescriptions. explanation of botanical practice, correct use of ordinary herbs. With tbls book In the I house there is n > excuse for not 'knowing what to | do In an emergency. Send postal notes or postage stamps of any denomination not larger thin 5 cents. BOOK Pin. IIOl'SK. 134 Leonard St.. S. T. C.lr. A KK|||H am ai'd WHISKEY HASf] 8 3 l| IHS ITS cured at homo witnSi B9 B" B 9 | HI out pain. Hook of piir8^|f|Ucnlari aent FREE. H WA m ^ , ~ U. -M. U OULLEY, .M. U* ATLANTA, GaT Office 05% Whitehall at. D^WQinSJQ "ZtiZ l rCilOIUiiOr,a: ! of JUSUJ'il M. HtNT?U, ATTOKNEY, j WAaiM IXtiTOX, I), l!. I nnn nnn Persons want our DREAM i || || | Book and Foriuiie Teller. 12U ill III IIIII11"4 3vo' u-" mall for H.V. In i|UUU|UvU money or stumps. Barclayi C'j., II X. Seventh St., Huila.lelijhla. Akeiits Wanted. The Stenograph CUnSTUAMfl -Machine. The bent system of ""l/Il I nftllU ]n every way can oe learned from Manual, If not near a School, i Seud for circular. U. 3. STriNQim.iHi Co., St. I.ou.s. ariIUI HABIT, Only Certain ami IIMl I B Ml easy CUKE In iho World. Or. | UrlUlTl J. STKFHKXi*. Lebanon.u ! CXDUC an'l Houses for Sale. Send stamp for list ! ranmo k. SI'OOXEK. K. Anrorii, N. Y. vrSa^Ber-^ 1 Co)l K:r.p, % Band Rlr.p, 1 Sion? Kiup, I Pin, I Vii tur*. \ ,r??. FliruUoi.iA Klin Csrdi ' MPiio glapfetlOe. a'LSII.N' CO., N?w Haven, Ct. J dWwJiyyggqBFsr Ea Best Cough Medicine. Ri SmS Cures where all else fails. P Ell taste. Children take it with< ^pBEBSEBB ^=55,^ " ' j)lT KOEITI.Et for all domectlc animals, wl / 'ifflfpaHft)' stlpati*, rattier acts as a luxa / in mofo than .W.) eases our / trented promptly. Hxpe M;when needed, ami perliap U enclose SO ccnU for sample I jjjpfP^ i/?? bitt colli- ihcdiciiWjj ijitv Sr |3ji ifTP DOUSLS-AC i _ WJ r T AUTOMAT 5* UNEQUALLED u> _i for Sytmne>2 try, Z/eaufy. I - Material and Workmanship. V3p g < AS PERFECT A PISTOL AS \ > * CAN? POSSIBLY BE MADE. ^ ^ < if your dtnlcr dors not hare it, ice trill s z . postpaid on rereipt of price. > t Send Be. In ntiimpx Tor our 100-pape = ? t rated Catalogue "of Gunfi, ltitles, R ? w ve'rt>, Police Goods, Sporting Goods < - uJ This Catalogue is so large the postage or, 8* JOHNP?LOVELlARMSCCkTManiJl NEW PATENT. THF. ONLY'PI SUACOBSOSI CAUTION. No other Liniment made to resemble ST. JACOBS OIL COMPARE WITH IT. St. Jacobs Oil is THE BEST, and that 18 why its cures abb PROMPT AND PERMANEMT. At Druggists and Deaters. THE CHARLES A. VOGELEB CO.. Baltimore, Hd. X V S U?5vi Ely's Cream CATARRH.!^!! I Price 5Q Cents.J Apply Balm Into each nostrlL ELY BROS., 5 Warren St., N. Y.W^yjwl STRONGEST* 11|% I |?| STRINGS Inthe World. If 1111 I RJ HOWE'S 0*1- ' elated No. 19 f lULIIv B1BINO ^ *7 FOR $1.00. Full set 4 Strings, 60c. Beat Italian Strings, SOe. each. 1,235 Old Violin) and 600 varieties violins, Violas, Cellos and Bas4s, 7.V. to#3.50J. Violin Casea, Bows, Necks, Tops, Backs, Varnlin and all flttingc. Music Books for all instruments. Best assortment, lowest prices In America. Send for catalogue. EJJAS HOWE, (H Court Street, Boston, Mass. DO YOU WANT MONEY? 1. Payable to yourself, 10,13, i) years froai now if living? ?. Payable In your family to your estate, t? charitable Institution, to any person or voject?? you should die within the period selected. YOU CAN PROVIDE SUCH MONEY 1. MORS CERTAINLY. 2. MORE EASILY, 3. FOIt A SMALLER OUTLAY, By means of a Policy or Bond, t* the New York Life Insurance Uo.^ (Aductn about 8100,000,000) X than in any other way. Write to the HOMiSOFFIOi^ \ 340 and 348 Brondway, New York, statist \'~ your age at nearest birthday, your wishes, and the \ amount you can Jnrest annually, and figures will be sent for your TCnsideratlon. Please mention this advertisement. MANY MEN FIND THAT Storms, tnows, drenching rains, and furious winds are a part of the regular routine of life. Two-thirds of the sickness through life is caused by colds; yoo f cannot be too well protected in stormy weather to avoid them. A man having a "Fish Brand Slick, er" may be exposed to a storm for twenty-four hours at a stretch, and still be protected from every drop of rain, besides being shielded from the Dicing winas. no nuuicr wuai w.vU^.Hvu, if you arc liable to be caught in a rain or snow . < storm, you should have on hand a "Fish Brand , Slicker.' It will surely save your health, and perhaps your life. Beware of worthless imitations. every garment stamped with the "Fish Brand" Trade Mark. Don't accept any inferior coat when you can have the "Fish Brand Slicker "delivered without extra cost. Particulars and illustrated catalogue free. A. J. TOWER, - Boston, Masfe^ JONES ?Hra rm Iron Levers. Steel Hcarlair>, Brmja JRBfMjTare Beam and Beam Bar far 860? &LCBLWMHK >? Every size Seals. For free pr,?>e jJat Wr \ mention this paper and addrest ' JONES OF BINGHAMTON. BINGHAMTOK, K. ?. OPIUM HABIT, i A Vahiuble Treatise Giving full Information of an Easy and Speedy cure free tp the afflicted. Dr. J. C. Hoftmax,Jefferson,Wisconsin. Dinuc STUDY. Boot-keeping, Business Formi" HUME Penmanship, Arithmetic, Short-hand, eto 11 thorougUy taught by MAIL. Circulars (re*. , ; liryaDt'M College, Ail Main St., Buffalo, if. Y? detectives i Wanted shrewd men to act under Inductions la Secret 8?rri?t trot1. Bepre?cnUlire? rccelre the International Detect! r*. g ran nan's Warnlnf Against Fraud. Gnuoto'i Packet Gallery ? Noted Crlmlnils. Tbosc interested In detecUro basinass, ardadjt log lo be detectives, tend sump for particulars. Kroplorment fee til. OB A N N AS DETECTIVE BIBEAl CO. Areaie, CUtUiutl. ft F~IENSiON?S%ro^? ^Successfully Prosecutes C(3lni9?. Late Principal Examiner U. S. Pension Bureau. 3 jts in last war, 15 fuljudlcatiug claims, atty siuoct' FRAZER^hf BEST IN THE WORLD U It LHO fc CS" Got the Genuine. Eold Erenrwberfc ! :?? : CHICHESTEK'tJ iiNG'.ISH PENNYROYAL PILLS _iCTv "to CROSS DIAMOND BRAND. j X v\ Safeiud reliable. Ladle*. A f. (I PLvyj uk DruKsist for Diamond Brand, la S rfd. metallic boxes, scaled ?itb blue /ft\ ribbon. Take ?o other. All ptllt \\Jur ,Q PMtdx^^rd boze?. pin* wrapper*, are \*r i / ? nr danfcroti* coanterftlU. S?d 4e. v I L. Jm (rumpt) for particular^ testimonial! ud l ~ B "Hellef for Ladle*," in Utter, by retan VP mail. Same Pafrr. 1'hlcbxtcr Chfm'l Co., BiibM 8<j., Pkila^ Vfe AFTER ALL OTHERS flii CONSULT v. OR. LOBB 3Uit North Kilteeuth St., Philadelphia, Pa., for tne treatment of Blood Poisons, Sidn iiruptlom, _ Nervous Complaints, Bright'.! DUeaae, Stricture^ Impotency and nindred disexsei, no matter or how long standlnj or from what cause originating pffeu days' medicines furnlsueJ by mall gage Send tor Boole on Sl'f?(Ji.VI* Diseases. IllCu A l prcscrloo ana fully en. done Big U as the only ^B^r<Carte la specific for the certain can ?2SF 1 TO t> daT8.^B of this di 'ease. ?80Q<iaiazitoc4 net ? q, u. IKURAHAM.M. D-, JgW oaieBtriattr*. .iraaterdam, N. Y, SjSM Mr4 only by tfc* V.'s have sold Big GJot Cincinnati JMp* ;0rtion. D' * COjJt Sold by Druggists jOamrdl M H HI fTTr1 IWI iH I IHllMWW eeommended by Physicians, fc* J leasant and agreeable to the >ut objection. By druggists. fS FAVORITE COLIC MIXTCKE j It curc !W out of every 10U cases of colic, whether flatmore than 1 or 2 doses necessary. It does not oonitlve and Is entirely harmless Aftor 2'J years of trial] guarantee Is worth something. Colic must b?| nd a few cents and you have a cure ou hand, ready is save a valuable horse. If not at your drugglsfi,/ jottle, sent prepaid. v OlCHl.KK Jt CO.. Bethlehem. l'a. I orite Colic We cnecr/vllp recommend Dr. A'o*ftW ivcess. It tr'a "favorite Co.'fc Mixture." M'ouUt c ever seen, not'be without it aj lotvjai ire /iatw Dealer, horses. ISAAC HOSES 4b BRO., : Vic York. Sale and I'Xchun-je Stable*. Eastoii, ebh? lve s SsSfr-'viH* * Barn)! Impossible to threw the I |,lurvJLJ For Sal? .evol- ^s*=s^ $10 fSBgSffl , ? 1 jf all kinds, etc. ny Ji , lUnlonrcoMSc. J ! -acturers, Boston, Mass. De:i!-rs-' fRFECTLY SAFE PISTOL MADE: ,|'