The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, January 08, 1890, Image 3
L BUDGET OF FUN . |
HHUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM ;
. VARIOUS SOURCES.
The/Cold Day AVlien He Was Left?
AfControliiiK Feature?Full of Enthusiasm?A
Popular R-ostinjj i
Place?Pedestriauism, Etc.
V ,-Ble?> me, tailor!" Hoffy cried:
B "You've nmde these trousers all too wide! j
The wind blows way up the inside."'
g Then replied the tailor bold:
B "TTrtf ma tliiv iJjlV tfMV sflMllf'tll cold:
(You know, your bill is growing old
full of j5jrrnrsiA5M.
' Brow a?"You show a good (leal of
boyish enthusiasm over your coming trip
to Europe. Why, you've crossed several
times before, haven't you?"
Hobinson?"Yes, hut this is my first j
trip without my wife."?Epoch.
CONTROLING FEATURE.
Brown?''The facial features plainly
1 indicate character and disposition. In
selecting your wife were vou governed by
jher chin?"
5$" j Jones?''Xo. but I have been ever j
eince we married."?Om<tha World.
* ' rEDESTRIAXI?5>r.
* Jones (to fat friend)?;iDo you walk i
* much?"
Fat Friend?"Well, I should say so. j
I expect to lose twenty-five pounds." j
Jones?"Good idea. The more you i
lose the more you'll gain, as far as per- |
sonal appearance is concerncd."?Texas
Siftint/s.
[ " . but tiif. young max didn't go.
Old Mau (at the head of the stair* at
a. >r.)?"Susie, what time is it?" I
Susie (with a second look at Reginald, :
^ who loosens his grip)?;1A few minutes
past 10, papa."
I Old Man?'-Don't forget to start the
clock again when you go to bed."?
'Yankee Blade.
a rOPCI.ak RESTING tlace.
She?"Don't you admire Gothic archi- I
^ tecture in churches, John? There is [
i something about it that suggests re- j
pose."
I He?"I dunno. Pretty much any !
style of a church suggests repose to me?
r provided the pews are comfortable."?
'Boston Transcript.
COMPETENT IN iiis LINE.
Seedy Visitor?''Have you any vacancies
on your editorial staff?"
Managing Editor?"Who are you?"
/ S. V.?"I am a doctor by profession."
aamM
: managing XAUIUI?"imuii wuum juu
do on the paper?"
S. V.?"I could edit tlie general news
of the weak."?Voice.
WHERE FRIENDSHIP CEASES.
Emeline?"Mamma wiil give her con- |
Bent only too quick when you ask her, J
but I'm afraid papa will hold off."
Jack?'-"What makes you think that?
He has always been very friendly with
me."
Emeline?"Yes, Jack; but this is a
matter of business."?Time.
TOUCHED A TENDER CHORD.
/ Tramp?"Kind lady, will you give me
lomething to eat?"
Lady?"We have some chops left over
from breakfast. You can have those."
Tramp (with a scornful look)?"Excuse
me* thpv fire a little too suirpestive of the !
?~ i "j ?oe> woodpile.
I couldn't take any comfort
eating 'em.*'?Kearney Enterprise.
JTE "WoTTLD TROVE HIS LOVE.
Amelia (in an insane interval).?<!Oh,
Arthur, I fear you do not truly love me?"
Arthur (struck to the heart)?"Not love
you, my darling! What can I do to prove
my devotion?"
Amelia (frantically)?"I know not!"
Arthur (after a pause)?"Will you?
will you plav something on the piano?"?
Pud.
A TERRIBLE RISK.
Young Wife?"A tramp came to the
door this morning, to get something to
eat. I gave him a pie, and'he asked me
if it was of my manufacture. I said,
'yes,' and then he said he wasn't of much
account anyway, and he'd risk eating it.
The wretch."
i Young Husband?"I guess, my dear,
that that tramp must be a married man."
? Yankee Blade.
"111E. UltA OAV ri .
Customer?:;There's oue drawback to i
a business like yours."
Barber?"What is that?"
4'It is impossible for men of your call- ,
ing to get rid of unpleasant acquaint- j
ances."
^ ~ "I-would like to know why?"
''You can't afford to cut anybody."? j
Boston Courier.
GLOOMY PROSPECTS.
"Wholesale Merchant?"We will give
your boy a chance, sir, to learn the busi- !
nese, but the first year he will not receive i
any salary."
Father of the Boy (dubiously): '-What
will he get the secoud year?"
"Merchant?"Well, if he is faithful
and apt, the second year we will double
Vir? rrpfa thp first " 'Rnnrh
" ~ ? ?"
A TRIFLJE DISCOURAGED. i
]
Captain (outward bound, to passenger) ]
?' Are you feeling any better to-day,
sir?"
Passenger (discouraged)?;'No, worse
if anything."
Captain?"Ob, you'll be all right in a j
day or two, so don't give up the ship!"
Passenger?No, I'll hold on to the ship
if I can, but by George, I've given up
about every thing else!"?Epoch.
OOT THEM MIXED.
''What kind of a bird do you call !
that?" asked ine heavy-voiced guest of a '
. waiter in the hotel dining-rooju.
"That's a canvas-back duck, sir."
' Canvas-back?''
"Yes, sir."
"I guess not. You've been keeping ;
ithe canvas-back ducks and the soleleather-back
ducks in the same refrigerator
and got them mixed."?Merchant
J Traveler.
A PHILANTHROPIST.
Trarnp?'"Thank you very much for
the lunch, mum; but could you spare me ,
twenty-five ccnts?"
Woman?"Mercy! What do you want
with twenty-five cents?"
j Tramp?"Well, I don't want it for
|
m
j myself, mum. I'm just collecting a little j
| money here and there, the same as the I
rest of the profession, ami when we get j
enough we're going to found :t homo for i
| destitute tramps."?
mOFESSIOSAIj CONCENTltATIOX.
' That wa? a terrible thing,*' said |
Jeuks to the family physician.
I ' What was that?" asked the doctor.
"That uprising among the iron foundries.''
' Xo, I haven't heard of it."
' It Wits a general breaking out: an extremely
rash affair."
i4fiut. my dear sir." said the doctor in j
a far-away prc-occupied tone, "there is |
nothing remarkable in that. A breaking j
out is it) t';c natural cruirsc of tilings a j
rash alluir."?Marfiunt Tractltr.
v? m? i#1
A dastardly trump. knowing v'.ic
was entirely unprotected, entered tlie
I liomc of ft frail. meek-eyed little woman ;
in Montana ami ?aid vivagely:
' Now, madam, yon want to jist iiy
'round and ,yit me up a square meal, an'
a mighty good out*, too! Don't let no
grass grow under your feet while you're
'Ijout it, neither, or I'll *'
Half an hour later the frail, meek-eyed
j little woman hailed a passer-by and said
calmly:
"I've got a feller lavin' on my kitchen j
floor tied up with a clothes-line and
gagged with a towel, that I'd like yon to j
help me dump him into my wagon so's I j
kin take him to town. I've an idee .ij
couple of his ribs is broke, an' his head '
needs so win' up in three or four places, j
an' his shoulders 'pears to be out o'j'int. !
lie got kinder sassy an' I had ter let *im '
know who was boss, yer know."? !
JJ.-ide't Masagine. I
The Richest of All Plants.
What is ramie?
T" ' ".-I- !>n?1inlintiinic!?
Jl n il.*> |na*.cu >/* UUV vx'iuiwt..
in the class of Urtica, but it is now called '
Boehnierin, or spearless nettle.
I will call it by no scientific name; I j
will simply call it the richest of plants,
for it possesses wealth of growth, wealth i
of development and wealth of fiber. In
ordinary light ground, with a little water- I
ing now and then by rain or irrigation, j
no plant will grow so rapidly, no root j
will multiply more quickly and produce
more stalks; no vegetable fiber is handsomer,
richer or silky than ramie.
It is a perennial plant, and when once ;
put in the ground it grows for over ]
twenty years without replanting, giv- j
ing, according to the climate, two \
and three crops a year. It is easy |
of cultivation, requiring only a soil clean j
and loose. It is planted in straight j
rows, three feet apart, in a small uphill i
form. The plants must be kept very !
close, in order to shoot forth straight
stalks without any branches. It grows .
about like willow, an average of lifteen
to twenty switches, from six to eight and ,
ten feet high, covered on the upper part :
with large green leaves,white underneath.
Tlirmif/h its leaves ramie takes its !
nourishment from the ozoue of Jhe air. i
This developed part of nojrishinent of j
the plant, added to the large, extensive 1
propensity of the mother-root, from !
which run horizontally and down a lot of J
rhizomes aud small roots, explain the ex
traordinary vitality of the plant and its ,
three or lour crops a year in some coun- '
tries.
The Chinese alone have, for a thousand
years past, extensively cultivated the
ramie plant; before them the Egyptians
were shrouding the dead in magnificent
winding sheets of ramie, which to this
day are found in the bandages of their ;
mummies.?Julei Jeienet.
'
A Lapp Wolf Hunt.
The Swedish Lapps live entirely with, |
by, and upon their reindeer. A Lapp
who owns a thousand deer is a very rich (
man; but as taxes are assessed upon the .
number of deer, he is inclined to under- j
estimate his herd. The most dangerous j
enemy to the herd is the wolf, who, if [
disposed, can kill thirty deer iu a night. [
A band of wolves can make a rich Lap;i j
poor.
"When the snow is deep and soft, and ,
it is announced that wolf-tracks have ,
been seen in the neighborhood of the !
deer, the swiftest runners on snow-shoes |
prepare for an exciting chase.
The wolf may have a start of a mile or j
two, but the track it leave? in the deep, ,
soft snow is so prominent that the !
hunters can follow it at their best speed, j
The wolf, though he may run fast, has
but a slight chance of escaping the short j
men who, on snow-shoes, rush through '
the wood, dart down steep hills, and j
jump from ledges several yards iu height, j
Each hunter does his best to outrun
the others, for the wolf belongs to the
Lapp who strikes the first blow. As soon
as the leading hunter is close enough to
the wolf, he gives it a heavy blow across
the loins with his strong, spiked snowshoe
staff. If there are other wolves to
hf> niifiiK-d hp kills it niitriorht; if not.
he disables it and waits till all the hunt'-rs j
have arrived before giving the deathstroke.
It Worked Both Ways.
Colonel Mosby relates the following j
amusing incident, which occurred in a j
cavalry fight in the Shenandoah Valley j
I in 18G4
44 In the midst of a sharp cavalry en- j
gagement with Sheridan's men in a !
charge near Berryville, there came riding |
into our lines like a whirlwind a Yankee
soldier on a black horse. A score of men |
j tried to stop h.orse and rider, but the old j
'black s blood was up and he went on, !
! clean through our lines before he was
under controL The rider was sent to Libby
| Prison and we mustered the black charger
j into the Confederate service. A few days
| later we charged some of Custer's men,
and that old horse was ridden into the
engagement by one of our soldiers. The
old black evened up thiugs,, too, for he
carried his rider into the Federal lines
and never came back."
Measures and Contents.
A barrel requires a measure 24 inches |
long by 1*5 inches wide and 28 inches !
deep.
'?ai* 1*0ck requires a measure ^ jkcjics !
by S 2-5 inches square and 8 inchesdeep. j
One gallon requires a measure 8 inches i
by 8 inches square and 4 1-5 inches deep, j
Half a bushel requires a measure 1(5
inches byS 2-5 inches wide and 8 inches i
deep.
Half a gallon requires a measure S in- I
chcs by 4 inches square and 1 4-5 inches J
deep. j
Haifa barrel requires a meraure 24 in- J
dies long by 10 inches wide aw* 35 in- j (
chee deep.
One ton of coal requires a measure 4 j j
feet long, 3 feet 5 inches wide, and 2 i .
feet 8 inches deep.
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.
.1ET.L1ED VEAL.
Take .1 good-sized knuckle of veal, cut
up and joint the bones; cover with water,
sr.lt slightly, and simmer slowly until
"done to rags." Take up and remove
the bones, chop the meat fine, season with
salt, pepper, ;;r,d herbs if liked; place in
a mold, soak two or three pinches of gelatine
in a little hot water for twenty minutes
and add to the water the veal was
boiled in; season, let it boil up, then pour
over the veal in the form. When it cools
and begins to stiffen put something on it
to keep it down, and over that a weight:
can use next day.?Detroit Free Press.
OYSTER SO CP.
Put over the oysters all their liquor,
and stew until the edges begin to curl;
then add rich milk slightly thickened with
cracker dust, a generous lump of butter,
pepper and salt. If liked, put some
oyster crackers in the bottom of your soup
tureen and pour over the soup. If liked
highly seasoned, add small bits of red
pepper, which can be removed after cooking,
as they are very strong. To serve
raw, clean some of the best shells, and
place a fine, plump oyster on each one,
six on a plate. Serve with a slice of
lemon.? Yankee Blade.
CHICKEN rOT-PIE.
Cut up the bird and boil in sufficient
boiling water to cover well; when tender,
season with butter, salt and pepper.
Make a crust as for baking powder biscuit:
roll out half of it about half as thick
as you ordinarily would for biscuit;
spread over the surface warm (but not
melted) butter; cut out and place in
your baking tin. Now roll out the remainder
of your dough to half an inch
in thickness; cut out and place on top of
the ones already in the tin. This method
enables one to split them apart without injury.
Thicken the broth on the chicken
with flour, skim out the chicken and
enter the halved biscuit for five minutes.
?New York Ncics.
0LD-FASIII0NKD FKOSTING.
To the white of each egg allow one
scant cupful of pulverized sugar. Have
the eggs as cold as possible in a large
platter. Do not beat them alone, but begin
by beating half the sugar with them,
adding the rest by degrees. Beat about
half an hour in a cold place, or till the I
mixture becomes stiff. Then stir in a
little extract or lemon-juice, the latter is
nicest. As soon as stiff spread over the
cake, which should be previously dredged
with a little flour to prevent the butter in
the cake from discoloring the frosting.
Put a large spoonful of frosting in the
centre of the cake, and spread it smoothly
with a knife dipped in hot water to prevent
its sticking. When all is done set
the cake in a cool place for half an hour
to harden. If the top is not a good shape,
frost the bottom of the cake. Allow the
whites of two eggs to frost one large loaf.
?A merican Cultivalor.
AN EXCELLENT BTIEAD UECirE.
Take four large or five small-sized |
potatoes, boil till tender, drain and mash
fine; into this put one teaspoon fill of salt,
two teaspoonfuls of white sugar and onethird
of a good fresh yeast cake; beat all
well together and mold in two balls;
place each in a saucer and set in a lukewarm
place till several cracks are visible.
In the evening make your sponge as follows
: Scald one cup of flour, stirring
well, leaving no large lumps. "When
cool enough so it will not scald the yeast,
add water till it becomes of the consistency
of cake batter, then take the
potato ball and one teaspoonful of salt
and mix it thoroughly with the batter,
after which set it away in a lukewarm
place to rise till morning. In the morning,
add one cup of flour and one quart of
lukewarm water; set away again until it
begins to rise, which it will do in about
twenty minutes; then knead for about
ten or fifteen minutes, and let rise, after
which mold into five or six loaves, let rise
and bake. The potato ball which was
left in the evening must be rsserved in a
clean, cool, dry place till next baking ,
time. At noon, or in the evening, take |
throe common-sized potatoes, boil, and
proceed as before, except leaving out the i
yeast and putting iu your potato ball
(reserved from last baking), which!
answers the purpose, mix thoroughly,
and mold in two balls, set away in a warm
place till they begin to crack; use the one
for your sponge and the other reserve till '
the next baking.? Yankee BloAe.
nousenolu hints.
Sponge a shiny coat with ammonia and
water.
Soak machine oil stains in cold water
before washing.
Use none other than good soap in the
kitchen, as it saves the hands.
Salt dissolved in alcohol, it is said, will
remove grease spots from cloth.
The surest test of a frozen orange is its
weight. If it is heavy in the hand it has
not been frozen.
uiornes ary out mucn snner wnen powdered
borax is put into the hot starch
just before using.
A teaspoon of wheat charcoal, taken
immediately after a meal, is an excellent
* V- 1U VUJ 1VI muikviiiii.
Cold sliced potatoes fry and taste better
by sprinkling a tcaspoonful of flour
over them while frying.
When a felon Grst begins to make its
appearance, take a leinon, cut of! one
end, put the finger in, and the longer it
is kept there the better.
Chemists say that it takes more than
twice as much sugar to sweeten preserves,
sauce, etc., if put in when they begin to
cook as it does to sweeten after the fruit
is cooked.
Individual peppers and salts, fancy and
cut glass jugs for oil and vinegar, and
quaint rnu6tard pots have usurped the
place of castors on the home tables for a
long time and continue to do so.
ltusty black cashmere should be
sponged with equal parts of alcohol and
ammoniu, diluted with a little warm
water. When pressing use a piece of
alpaca or undressed cambric uext the
warm iroo.
Game of any soi.t which has just be
gun to taint may be made fit for eating
by cleaning and then washing thoroughly
in vinegar and water. Charcoal is excellent
ali?o, and small pieces of it
should be put inside the birds after cleaning.
The hearts of calve.? snd full grown
animals are good, either roasted or ,
braised. Boiled a long fj?c and then j
chopped fine, warmed in a Jittle hot ;
water wid well seasoned with butter, j
popper salt, they make an excellent J
hash.
J
The three hundredth^^^versar^.of j
the invention of the microscope is to life
celebrated in Antwerp in 1890.
Sir John Lubbock has just discovered
that the death rate in London is sixteen
{ and one-half per thousand as against
! sevente( u and one-half in other English
cities.
In a Moscow foundry castings are made
from metals fused in an electric furnace.
| The operators work two hours per day,
' < 1 1 -! J? *1 4V??.
ine glare ucmy <;re;n.ei niau mm ul iuv
sun, and unendurable for a long time.
An incandescent lamp arrangement for
showing the interior of boilers while under
steam has been made by a German
inventor. The device is likely to be of
practical, as well as of scientific,value.
The first astronomical observatory is
said to have been erected on the temple
| of Belus, at Babylon; but one on the
tomb of Osymandyas, in Egypt, with a
golden circle 200 feet in diameter, and
one at Benares, also date from a very
early period.
Of the first turkey in America,the only
records we have are in the recently discovered
fossils of the post-tertiary period.
These prove that the turkey not only
antedated Columbus, and even the Norseman,
but that in all probability he was
the original "oldest inhabitant of America."
An electric balance has been exhibited
in Paris. The placing in the pan of the
object to be weighed closes an electric
circuit, when the current operates a motor
on the weight and carries the weight
out on the beam until an equipoise is established,
breaking the circuit. "With
the emptying of the pan, the weight re|
turns.
The attempt to acclimatize the Swedish
reindeer in the Harz Mountains of Germany
has not been quite so successful as
was anticipated. The heat of the summer
having caused the death of many of
the animals. A new attempt is to be
made next spring in the Algau, which,
it is expected, will give better ana last- i
iog results.
It has been shown very satisfactorily
I that the banana plant coutains a greater
I quantity of pure fibre thau any other of
! the numerous vegetable products used in
the manufacture of paper. The udapta*
tion of the plant to commercial purposes
will, it is anticipated, revolutionize ths
paper material market and largely a3ect
the industry.
It is not a fact generally known that
the real inventor of the powder used for
the "Lebel" rifles is not the Colonel of
[ that name, but M.Vieille, a young French
engineer. M. Vieille will be the fortunate
recipient ere long of a prize of $ 10,000
awarded every three years, under the
j auspices of the Academy of Science, to
the author of the most important discovery
made within that period.
The French Professor of Chemistry, De
Millefleurs, recently exhibited before a
i -e
meeting 01 jrarisjiiu siicmwis buvci.u
bricks of petroleum, which he has discovered
how to solidify by an original process.
The petroleum bricks were hard
enough to be handled without inconvenience,
yet soft enough to be cut with a
stout knife. They burned slowly when
touched with a lighted match. Millefleurs
says they are non-explosive and inexpensive.
j, A Honolulu paper thus describes a
curious substance thrown off by the molten
lava and found close to the lakes of
fire at the volcano: "It clings to the adjoining
rocks in fiber-like threads of a
flaxen color, and has the appearance of
human hair; but mixed with it are sharp
particles of black lava. Considering that
this substance is a mineral production, it
is wonderful flexible and tough?bending
easily, but not ductile in its present state
or capable of being lengthened. It is
peculiar to this volcano, and is certainly
a singular production."
According to Dr. S. S. Kilvington, the
Mississippi River received during the
year 152.675 tons of garbage and of all,
108,250 tons of night-soil, and 3765,
dead animals, from only eight cities; the
Ohio, 46,700 tons of garbage, 21,157
tons of night-soil, and 5100 dead animals,
from five cities; and the Missouri,
3t5,UOO tODS or garbage, zz,*uv was 01
night-soil, and 31,600 dead animals,from
four cities. Dr. Kilvington urges the
cremation of most of the refuge, and
twenty-three out of thirty-five health
officials consulted by him favored the
plan.
Uncle Sam's Timepieces.
It costs Uncle Sam thousands of dollars
a year to have his clocks wound. Every
Monday morning you see men in Washington
going about the departments carrying
little ladders, like those used by
the lamplighters. Their business is to
wind and keep in order the clocks in the
departments. Each man has his own
department or a section of the department
to look after the clocks, and this is
his sole business. In some places men
are employed by the month for this purpose,
while in other cases the contract is
let by the month or year to some enterprising
clock repairer, whosendsa "journeyman"
around to wind the clocks and
see whether they are in order, and then
goes himself to make such repairs us arc
necessary.
The cost of windmg and caring for the
clocks in the departments runs at the rate
of $75 to $100 u month in each department.
There are in the Treasury Department
nearly four hundred clocks. Some
of these are expensive ones, and cost
away up in the hundreds of dollars',
though the average value of departmental
clocks is not more than perhaps $15 or
$20 apiece. A good many of the clocks
in the halls of the public buildings, and
also those in the rooms occupicd by the
heads of departments are very valuable,
costing away up in the huLdrcds.? Omaha
World-Herald.
A Second Edition of Paris.
Society in Buenos Ayres, Argentine
Republic, is gradually becoming more
and more European. One walking" the
streets just now observes that we have become
almost a second edition of Pans,
| says a correspondent of the Export and
Fiututrur. The fashions of that gay city
i i... ... - -.1 . i:i. Ti
are rjpicu uy women auu men mute, ;mu
the fact that we lia?'e 200,000 Frenchmen
in the Republic, in round numbers,
has made a decided impression on the
social customs of the people. A man
landing here, from Paris finds himself
perfectly at home, and would hardly
dream that he was so ftr away from his
[ native land. The same applies equally
to a Frenchwoman. She hardly misses
the g^v life of the gayest capital of all
;the world. The Englishman, too, finds
himself, in a certain measure, among his
(own kindred her*, but to the Americaua
[certain lonely feclingjis ever present.
" _ - ; ;"r' * *-' *
The 44 Speech-Box."
The Loudon JV?f? describes the effect
of the phonograph on Nasr Ed-din, the
Shah of Persia. The scer.c and dialogue
make a characteristic interview of the
western with the eastern mind. Colonel
Gouraud, who represents Mr. Edison and
his phonograph in Europe, had a "good
time" with the Shah at Earl Brownlow's
pretty place, Ashridge, where the dusky
monarch protested he had spent one of
his happiest days in England.
The Shah had never seen the phonograph,
and Colonel Gouraud fancied he
might regard it as an attempted scientific
fraud or a clever conjuring trick. The
Colonel, therefore, addressed the Shah,^"
saying that if his Majesty prolonged his
travels to America lie would be afforded
as magnificent a welcome there as had
Deen extenaea to mm iu uus tuuutij. j
This, with more Or less import, the Colonel
said, all of which was translated to
the Shah by Prince Malcom Khan, and
indented upon the phonograph. Then
the speech was wound off .as pronounced
in Persian by the Prince, whereat the
Shah smote his palms together and cried:
"Oh! oh!" and "Won-der-ful!" with a
prolonged accent, on the Won.
Anxious for more, Ms Imperial Majesty
bade the poet of the suite recite some
verses from the Persian Hafiz into the receiver.
In the Persian court and suite it
is not only the professors of ancient and
occult sciences who have a position, but
those of modern sciences, art and literature
are included in the retinue.
Out came in due course from the phonograph
the verses of Hafiz, with the exact
intonation of the speaker, which caused
the Shah anew to clap his hands and express
the utmost surprise. One thing
led to another. He spoke into the instrument
himself, Priijce Albert Victor
did the same, and Lady Brownlow followed.
Then the Duke of Abercorn uttered a
few sentences; there was laughing, crying
and whistling: and, finally, the band
pluycd a tune at it; all of which in due ,
succession were afterward reeled off, to |
the? astonishment of the Persians. A I
pause ensued, aud his >Ia!csty laid his
hand u,.on the macliine, and Prince
Malcom Chan, speaking for his sovereign,
said:
"The Shall would like to have that instrument,
or one like it."
"It is at his service," said Colonel
Gouraud.
"But," said the Prince, "he believesit
to be a new one, and the only one you
have of its kind in Europe."
"It is his Majesty's as though there
were many more," said the astute and
courtly American.
"Then the Shah will take it at once to
Teheran, and he would like to have some
one accompany him to work it," further
interpreted the Prince.
The "speech-box," as the phonograph
was called by the Persians, impressed the
Shah greatly. He made incessant references
to it during the evening, and as
Colonel Gouraud was one of the party at
Earl Brownlow's,he had opportunities of
explaining the details of this marvelous
invention.
Tnc Baboon n9 an Epicure.
The baboon, writes the Graaff-Reinet
(South Africa) Advertiser, seems to be
changing its nature with the changing
climatic conditions. In former years he
was a vegetarian, his worst offence being
stealing mealies in the' gardens when he
got a chance. Now he has taken to other
ways of getting a livelihood. Said a
farmer the other day to a brother farmer:
"Have you lots of honey on your farm?"
Answer: "No, the baboons rob all the
nests."
"How do they do it? The bees would
sting them to death."
The answer was that probably the
baboons did the work in the night when
the bees were drowsy, sleepy and dull.
Any way, he believed the baboons got off
with the swag of honey, whenever they
could get a nest. Then, Mr. Peter Booysen,
of Mooifontein, has his story to tell
of the new development of the baboon.
It attacks the wild aloe, pulls it down
and tears out the pith for food. Mr.
Booysen, Sr., does not object to this, as
he would be glad if all the wild aloes on
his farm were cleaned out by any means
whatsoever. The special wish of the
on/1 e/\n ic fViof tlid hnl?nn:is wnnlll
take to some food-providing operation
which would get rid of the prickly pear.
But as the substance of the leaf and the
trunk of the prickly pear is nothing but
water the wish is not likely to be gratified.
Any way the poisoning clubs have
classcd the baboon with the wild carnivore,
and the rifle and arsenic are now
busy <o destroy him.
I Farmers give interesting instances of
the difficulty of poisoning the baboon,
the fellow being about as"slim'; as a human
being. One farmer believes the fellow
can taste the poison as prepared and
disguised for him, and if he finds it is
not a good thing for his stomach, spits it
out. The farmer, however, has succeeeded
in giving the arsenic such palatable surroundings
that the shrewdness of the
baboon i% not proof against the palatable
fomnfofinn and rli^c
Talking 1500 Miles Through a Wire.
The longest distance over which teleI
phoning can be maintained is uncertain.
Seven hundred and fifty miles is a common
daily occurrence, but two gentlemen
are reported to have quite recently carried
on a protracted conversation between
Charleston, S. C., and Omaha, Neb., a
distance of nhnut loOO miles.
Didn't Suit Iiim.
'Waiter, what is this?" .
"Beef stew, sir."
"Beeves, two, eh? "Well, I should
think by the bones there are in it, it
was at least a dozen. I say, waiter
they needn't put in the hom? Tiext
iim ?> "
Is it tconomy to save a few cents tmyine a
cheap soap or strong washing powder, and lost
dollar* in ruined rotted clothes? If not, use
Dobbins's Electric Soap, w hite as enow, and
as pure. Ask your grocer for it.
The Chinese Government is buying heavy
Krupp guus for the northern forts.
Last Winter
:wns troubled so badly wish rheumatism In my ]
right shoulder and Joints of my leg as uot to be ablo j
to walk. I took Hood's SarsaparlLla, and now- j
don't feol any aches or pains anywhere, and It not |
only Mopped the soreness In my shoulder and !
joints, but makes me feel as lively as a teu-year- 1
old boy. 1 sell newspapers right in
ran kiddle of the street
every day In the year, and hnvo boon doln; so for |
five years, and standing on tho cold stones ain't no !
plcnlo, Icau tell you. I enn bo seen every day In j
the year at corner Tompkins and De Kalb Avenues.
?V. W. Howard, Brooklyn, X. Y.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Bold by ail druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only
.by C. I, HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mas*.
_.J00 De.se s One Dollar _
. * >Ji _ * ,*; " * ' J^" J-?- * '.'^Jis,' Vv
' " -?> " '.-- 7 V-v
Some Foolinb People
Allow a cough to run until it gets beyond the
reach of medicine. They often say: "Oh, it
will wear away," but in most cases it wears
them away. Could they be induced to try the
tuccessful. medicine called Kemp's Balsam,
which is sold on a positive guarantee to cure
they would immediately see the excellent effect
after taking the first dose. Price 50c. and j
SI. Trial *izc free. At all druggists.
TriE demand for small coins is so great that
the Mint at Philadelphia is working night and
day to supply it.
How'8 This!
We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for !
any caso of catarra that canuot be cured by
taking Hall's Catarrh Cure.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Prop?., Toledo, 0.
We, the undersigned, have known F. J. |
Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe him
^perfectly honorable in all business transac|rions.
and financially able to carry out any ob
ligations made bv their firm.
\\ est & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
| Ohio.
Walding, Kfcnan & Marvin, Wholesale Druggists,
ToIN]p, Ohio.
E. H. Van Hoetjgn, Cashier Toledo NoJonal
Bank, Tolt^o, Ohio.
Hall's Catarrh is taken internally, acting
directly upon thtNjlood and mucfcus surfaces
of the system. TCTtimonials sent free.
Price 75c. per bottle. gold>nall Druggists.
Mormon agents in Canada rephttjwrably
upon the Canadian northwest as S'refugvfor |
the saints. i
A Core of Catarrh
In the bead, as well as all bronchia\ throat |
and lung diseases, if taken in time, is effected
by using Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery,
or money paid for it will be promptly returned.
A more pleasant physic
You never will find
Than Pierce's small "Pellets,"
The Purgative kind
A house has been known to live to the age
of sixty two, but averages from twenty to
thirty.
Oregon, the Paradise at Farmers.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock country
in the world. Full information free. Address
Oregon Im'tgrat'n Board. Portland. Ore.
If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomnton's
Eye-water. Druggists Eell at2oc.per bottle
A Chicago drugaist retailed over 100,000
"Tansill's Punch" 5c. Cigars in four months.
or^B BJVjoys
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is tak en; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and ^Bowels, cleanses the system
effectually, dispels colds, headaches
and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only, remedy of its kind ever produced,
pleasing to the taste ana acceptable
to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in Its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities commend
it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50o
and $1 bottles by all leading druggists.
Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will procure
it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
8AN FRANCISCO, CAL.
tBWSVILLE, KY HEW YORK. Ht.
MI IN
HIS
1J1!
By J. Hamilton A j ers, A. 31., .>1. D.
This Ii a most valuable book for the household,
teaching as It does the easily-dlsrin,'ulshsd symptoms
of different diseases, the causes and means of
preventing such diseases, and the simplest remedies
which will alleviate or cure. 398 pages profusely
Illustrated. The book Is written In plain every-day
English, and Is free from ths technical terms which
render most doctor books so valueless to the generality
of readers. Only postpaid. Gives a complete
analysis of everything pertaining to courtship,
I marriage and tne prouucuou ami rearing ui utum/
families; together with valuable recipes and prescriptions.
explanation of botanical practice, correct
use of ordinary herbs. With tbls book In the
I house there is n > excuse for not 'knowing what to
| do In an emergency. Send postal notes or postage
stamps of any denomination not larger thin 5 cents.
BOOK Pin. IIOl'SK. 134 Leonard St.. S. T. C.lr.
A KK|||H am ai'd WHISKEY HASf]
8 3 l| IHS ITS cured at homo witnSi
B9 B" B 9 | HI out pain. Hook of piir8^|f|Ucnlari
aent FREE.
H WA m ^ , ~ U. -M. U OULLEY, .M. U*
ATLANTA, GaT Office 05% Whitehall at.
D^WQinSJQ "ZtiZ
l rCilOIUiiOr,a:
! of JUSUJ'il M. HtNT?U, ATTOKNEY,
j WAaiM IXtiTOX, I), l!.
I nnn nnn Persons want our DREAM
i || || | Book and Foriuiie Teller. 12U
ill III IIIII11"4 3vo' u-" mall for H.V. In
i|UUU|UvU money or stumps. Barclayi C'j.,
II X. Seventh St., Huila.lelijhla. Akeiits Wanted.
The Stenograph CUnSTUAMfl -Machine. The
bent system of ""l/Il I nftllU ]n every way
can oe learned from Manual, If not near a School,
i Seud for circular. U. 3. STriNQim.iHi Co., St. I.ou.s.
ariIUI HABIT, Only Certain ami
IIMl I B Ml easy CUKE In iho World. Or.
| UrlUlTl J. STKFHKXi*. Lebanon.u
! CXDUC an'l Houses for Sale. Send stamp for list
! ranmo k. SI'OOXEK. K. Anrorii, N. Y.
vrSa^Ber-^ 1 Co)l K:r.p, % Band Rlr.p, 1 Sion? Kiup, I Pin,
I Vii tur*. \ ,r??. FliruUoi.iA Klin Csrdi
' MPiio glapfetlOe. a'LSII.N' CO., N?w Haven, Ct. J
dWwJiyyggqBFsr
Ea Best Cough Medicine. Ri
SmS Cures where all else fails. P
Ell taste. Children take it with<
^pBEBSEBB
^=55,^ " ' j)lT KOEITI.Et
for all domectlc animals, wl
/ 'ifflfpaHft)' stlpati*, rattier acts as a luxa
/ in mofo than .W.) eases our
/ trented promptly. Hxpe
M;when needed, ami perliap
U enclose SO ccnU for sample I
jjjpfP^ i/?? bitt colli- ihcdiciiWjj ijitv
Sr |3ji ifTP DOUSLS-AC i
_ WJ r T AUTOMAT
5* UNEQUALLED
u> _i for Sytmne>2
try, Z/eaufy.
I - Material and Workmanship. V3p
g < AS PERFECT A PISTOL AS \
> * CAN? POSSIBLY BE MADE. ^
^ < if your dtnlcr dors not hare it, ice trill s
z . postpaid on rereipt of price.
> t Send Be. In ntiimpx Tor our 100-pape
= ? t rated Catalogue "of Gunfi, ltitles, R
? w ve'rt>, Police Goods, Sporting Goods <
- uJ This Catalogue is so large the postage or,
8* JOHNP?LOVELlARMSCCkTManiJl
NEW PATENT. THF. ONLY'PI
SUACOBSOSI
CAUTION.
No other Liniment made to resemble
ST. JACOBS OIL
COMPARE WITH IT.
St. Jacobs Oil is
THE BEST,
and that 18 why its cures abb
PROMPT AND PERMANEMT.
At Druggists and Deaters.
THE CHARLES A. VOGELEB CO.. Baltimore, Hd.
X V S U?5vi
Ely's Cream
CATARRH.!^!!
I Price 5Q Cents.J
Apply Balm Into each nostrlL ELY
BROS., 5 Warren St., N. Y.W^yjwl
STRONGEST* 11|% I |?| STRINGS
Inthe World. If 1111 I RJ HOWE'S 0*1- '
elated No. 19 f lULIIv B1BINO
^ *7 FOR $1.00.
Full set 4 Strings, 60c. Beat Italian Strings, SOe.
each. 1,235 Old Violin) and 600 varieties violins,
Violas, Cellos and Bas4s, 7.V. to#3.50J. Violin Casea,
Bows, Necks, Tops, Backs, Varnlin and all flttingc.
Music Books for all instruments. Best assortment,
lowest prices In America. Send for catalogue.
EJJAS HOWE, (H Court Street, Boston, Mass.
DO YOU WANT MONEY?
1. Payable to yourself, 10,13, i) years froai now
if living?
?. Payable In your family to your estate, t?
charitable Institution, to any person or voject??
you should die within the period selected.
YOU CAN PROVIDE SUCH MONEY
1. MORS CERTAINLY.
2. MORE EASILY,
3. FOIt A SMALLER OUTLAY,
By means of a Policy or Bond, t* the
New York Life Insurance Uo.^
(Aductn about 8100,000,000) X
than in any other way. Write to the HOMiSOFFIOi^ \
340 and 348 Brondway, New York, statist \'~
your age at nearest birthday, your wishes, and the \
amount you can Jnrest annually, and figures will
be sent for your TCnsideratlon. Please mention this
advertisement.
MANY MEN FIND THAT
Storms, tnows, drenching rains, and furious winds
are a part of the regular routine of life. Two-thirds
of the sickness through life is caused by colds; yoo f
cannot be too well protected in stormy weather to
avoid them. A man having a "Fish Brand Slick,
er" may be exposed to a storm for twenty-four
hours at a stretch, and still be protected from every
drop of rain, besides being shielded from the
Dicing winas. no nuuicr wuai w.vU^.Hvu,
if you arc liable to be caught in a rain or snow . <
storm, you should have on hand a "Fish Brand ,
Slicker.' It will surely save your health, and
perhaps your life. Beware of worthless imitations.
every garment stamped with the "Fish Brand"
Trade Mark. Don't accept any inferior coat when
you can have the "Fish Brand Slicker "delivered
without extra cost. Particulars and illustrated
catalogue free.
A. J. TOWER, - Boston, Masfe^
JONES
?Hra rm Iron Levers. Steel Hcarlair>, Brmja
JRBfMjTare Beam and Beam Bar far
860?
&LCBLWMHK >? Every size Seals. For free pr,?>e jJat
Wr \ mention this paper and addrest '
JONES OF BINGHAMTON.
BINGHAMTOK, K. ?.
OPIUM HABIT, i
A Vahiuble Treatise Giving
full Information of an Easy and Speedy cure free tp
the afflicted. Dr. J. C. Hoftmax,Jefferson,Wisconsin.
Dinuc STUDY. Boot-keeping, Business Formi"
HUME Penmanship, Arithmetic, Short-hand, eto
11 thorougUy taught by MAIL. Circulars (re*. , ;
liryaDt'M College, Ail Main St., Buffalo, if. Y?
detectives i
Wanted shrewd men to act under Inductions la Secret 8?rri?t
trot1. Bepre?cnUlire? rccelre the International Detect! r*.
g ran nan's Warnlnf Against Fraud. Gnuoto'i Packet Gallery ?
Noted Crlmlnils. Tbosc interested In detecUro basinass, ardadjt
log lo be detectives, tend sump for particulars. Kroplorment fee
til. OB A N N AS DETECTIVE BIBEAl CO. Areaie, CUtUiutl. ft
F~IENSiON?S%ro^?
^Successfully Prosecutes C(3lni9?.
Late Principal Examiner U. S. Pension Bureau.
3 jts in last war, 15 fuljudlcatiug claims, atty siuoct'
FRAZER^hf
BEST IN THE WORLD U It LHO fc
CS" Got the Genuine. Eold Erenrwberfc !
:?? :
CHICHESTEK'tJ iiNG'.ISH
PENNYROYAL PILLS
_iCTv "to CROSS DIAMOND BRAND. j
X v\ Safeiud reliable. Ladle*. A
f. (I PLvyj uk DruKsist for Diamond Brand, la
S rfd. metallic boxes, scaled ?itb blue /ft\
ribbon. Take ?o other. All ptllt \\Jur
,Q PMtdx^^rd boze?. pin* wrapper*, are \*r
i / ? nr danfcroti* coanterftlU. S?d 4e. v
I L. Jm (rumpt) for particular^ testimonial! ud
l ~ B "Hellef for Ladle*," in Utter, by retan
VP mail. Same Pafrr.
1'hlcbxtcr Chfm'l Co., BiibM 8<j., Pkila^ Vfe
AFTER ALL OTHERS flii CONSULT v.
OR. LOBB
3Uit North Kilteeuth St., Philadelphia, Pa., for
tne treatment of Blood Poisons, Sidn iiruptlom, _
Nervous Complaints, Bright'.! DUeaae, Stricture^
Impotency and nindred disexsei, no matter or how
long standlnj or from what cause originating
pffeu days' medicines furnlsueJ by mall gage
Send tor Boole on Sl'f?(Ji.VI* Diseases. IllCu
A l prcscrloo ana fully en.
done Big U as the only
^B^r<Carte la specific for the certain can
?2SF 1 TO t> daT8.^B of this di 'ease.
?80Q<iaiazitoc4 net ? q, u. IKURAHAM.M. D-,
JgW oaieBtriattr*. .iraaterdam, N. Y,
SjSM Mr4 only by tfc* V.'s have sold Big GJot
Cincinnati JMp* ;0rtion.
D' * COjJt
Sold by Druggists
jOamrdl
M H HI fTTr1 IWI iH I IHllMWW
eeommended by Physicians, fc* J
leasant and agreeable to the
>ut objection. By druggists.
fS FAVORITE COLIC MIXTCKE j
It curc !W out of every 10U cases of colic, whether flatmore
than 1 or 2 doses necessary. It does not oonitlve
and Is entirely harmless Aftor 2'J years of trial]
guarantee Is worth something. Colic must b?|
nd a few cents and you have a cure ou hand, ready
is save a valuable horse. If not at your drugglsfi,/
jottle, sent prepaid. v
OlCHl.KK Jt CO.. Bethlehem. l'a. I
orite Colic We cnecr/vllp recommend Dr. A'o*ftW
ivcess. It tr'a "favorite Co.'fc Mixture." M'ouUt
c ever seen, not'be without it aj lotvjai ire /iatw
Dealer, horses. ISAAC HOSES 4b BRO., :
Vic York. Sale and I'Xchun-je Stable*. Eastoii,
ebh? lve s
SsSfr-'viH* * Barn)!
Impossible to threw the I
|,lurvJLJ For Sal?
.evol- ^s*=s^ $10 fSBgSffl , ? 1
jf all kinds, etc. ny Ji ,
lUnlonrcoMSc. J !
-acturers, Boston, Mass. De:i!-rs-'
fRFECTLY SAFE PISTOL MADE: ,|'