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BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. No Joke?Jonnny Know Pop?InQuiring Friends?Two Lively Fish ? Not For Her?He Felt Reassured, Etc. "Doctor, can you tell me what will prevent my food from hurting me;" "Nothing easier. Don't eat it." "Ila! ha! very good joke." "Xot at all. Three dollars, please. If you have any further trouble come again and we'll try some oilier course."?Boston Transcript. Johnny Knew Pop. Teacher?"Now, Johnnie, I suppose your father has an income of $5,000 a year from his business. lie spends $2,000 for your mamma's clothes; $30 for his own clothing, and $1,000 in miscellaneous expenses. IIow much will he have at the end of the year?" Johnnie (after mature deliberation)? " 'Leven thousand dollars." Teacher?"Eleven thousand dollars! You don't seem to know your arithmetic." Jonnie?"Well, I know pop. He's a nalderman,he is!'"?Life. Inquiring Friends. Dumley had been away from home for a couple of months, and on his return met Robinson. "Yes," said Dutnley, after the greeting was over, "I am honestly glad to get back. After all, there is no place like home. I s'pose the boys were asking after me?" "Oh, yes," replied Robinson. "There's Brown, the gas collector, inquired only this morning if you ever expected to comeback; and Tom Sawyer, the tailor, wanted to know where a letter would reach you; and 'Billy,' over at the Hole-in-the-Wall, s:>id he was very anxious to see you, and?what, going? Well, so long, old boy. I s'pose you're anxious to sec the wife aud babies."? New York Sun. Too Lively Fish. There was a certain character in one of our countrv towns who was noted more for the various means to which he resorted to earn a living than for his veracity. At one time it happened that he was peddling fi-ih, and his cry summoned a very particular old lady to the side of the wagon. L "Are these fish fresh ?" she asked, viewing the tinny representatives with suspicion. "Yes, 'm; caught this very morninV' was the reply. "Are you sure?" she contined, giviug the load sundry pokes. "They all seem to be dead." "Dead?" echoed the vender?"dead? Yes, 'm, they are dead. They wuz so lively when I left home that I had te'r kill 'em to keep 'em from jumpin' outer ther wagon."?Earlier'1s Bazar. Not for Her. "Madame," he began as the door opened, "I am selling a new book on Etiquette aud Deportment." "Oh. you arc?" she responded. "Go down there and clean the mud off your feet." "Yes'ra. As I was saying, ma'am, I am sel " "Take off your hat! Never address a strange lady at her door without removing your hat." "Yes'ra. Now, then, as I was saying >> "Take your hands out of your pockets ! No gentleman ever carries his hands there." "Yes'ra. Now, ma'am, this work on Eti " "Throw out your cud. If a gentlem n uses tobacco he; is careful not to di gust others by the habit." * Yes'm. Now, r.ia'm, in calling your attention to this valuable " "Wait! Put that dirty handkerchief; out of sight and use less grease to your hair. JSow you look half way decent. You have a book ou etiquette and Deportment. Very well. I don't want it. Iam only the hired girl. You can come in, however, aud talk with the lady of the house. She called me a liar this j morning and I think she needs some- j thiDg of the kind."?Detroit Free Press. ! He Felt Reassured. "Have you seen papa's new dog, 'Carlo?'" she asked, as they sat in the parlor. ] "Yes," he replied uneasily, "1 have! had the pleasure of meeting the dog." j "Isn't he splendid? He is so affectionate." "I noticed that he was very demonstrative," returned he; as he moved uneasily in his chair. " He is very playful too. I never saw a more playful animal in my life." "I am glad to hear you say that." "Why*" " Because I was a little bit afraid when he bit that piece out of me the ! other evening he was in earnest. But if he was only in play of course it's all right. I can take fun as well as anybody. "?Merchant 1'ra vrft r. It AVas not a Firefly. a laciy oi um cny, wnose uttic leci are always daintly shod, is a!so the unfortuuate possessor of an obstinate and' burning corn upon the smallest toe of her left foot. Chiropodists lmd dug | tunnels through that corn, yanked at it with nippers, smeared it with stinging ointments, and, in despair, suggested amputation. The corn held the fort and successively resisted the assaults of the best razor the lady's husband possessed ?used, of course, without his knowledge. Finally, a kind fiiend suggested that if phosphorus was rubbed on the afflicted toe the corn would succumb. The lady determined to try the remedy, and did bo just before retiring the other night, and forgot to tell her liege lord what she had done. The hour of mignighthad struck when the husband suddenly awoke and was somewhat startled to see the llash of a firefly at the foot of the bed. Sleep was again asserting its mastery, when oncc more tiie sheen of that firefly caused the ; 1 1 1 ?. ..... M. I.:. TT.. I uuMjnuu iu upcu wiuu ins cjrva. m; could not rccoliect ever having seen a firefly in California, but he could not disbelieve his senses. Again and again that firefly flashed its baleful gleam, effectually banishing all thought of s!e(p from the now thoroughly-aroused and j wrathy husband. He determined to end his own misery and firefly's existence simultaneously. He reached out in the dark, groped with his hand about the carpet until he felt his own heavy shoe. He seized the weapon, slowly and cautiously raised himself in bed, and, lifting high the sturdy brogan, brought it down with a vigorous whack on the innocent firely. A wild shriek, an avalanche of bedclothes, and the husband lay sprawling ?n fK* mSrl^la nf fV*a fl/xn*. V.'n At* vta caiv; iiuurf wuuc ma | wife rolled around the bed, clasping her | foot and moaning in anguish. It was I not a firefly. It was the phosphorus-an- ! nointcd toe.?Sun Francisco Alta. Tramp vs. Ycgctaiian. A tramp culled at a house in a Chicago j suburb a lew mornings ago, and csked ! for some cold victuals, ile was given a plate of oatmeal mush, some raw dried prunes, a tomato and a saucer of hominy, the whole without seasoning of any kind. "I?I?can't you let me have some milk, and some sugar, salt and pepper?" inquired the embarrassed tourist as he surveyed the spread. "-Milk is not wholesome," replied the lady of the house, sweetly, "and we never use condiments. I can let you have some cracked wheat if you like." "Haven't yon any meat?" "Oh, no; we never u<c meat. It is not fit for the human stomach. Would you like some gruel r" "Is this the kind of stuff you live on?" "Certainly, my friend. Meats, seasonings, gravies, condiments of all kinds and heating foods have a tendency to injure tnc coating 01 tnn siomacu, impart an unnatural condition to the system and?why, here! let me read a chapter of this book to you. I can show you in half an hour? With a yell of consternation the tramp fled. As "he weut out through the front gate he paused long enough to write on the gate post with chalk these words: "Krauksl Keep away I"?Chicago 1'riWne. More Than He Bargained For. John R. McLean is very fond of ajokvi and has the good sense to appreciate one at his own expense. One day he was walking rapidly with a friend along a street. At the corner he saw a very hardup-looking old man on the opposite cor- | ner gazing listlessly into vacancy. 44 Watch me surprise this old fellow," said lie to his friend; "look right into his face and see if he won't be a study." A second later they were abreast tho old chap, when John pulled a silver coin out of his pockctand said, as he thrust it into the old man's hand: "Here's that quarter I owed you. ( Now, don't go around any more telling people I don't pay my debts. I always speak well of you, and you have no reason to do otherwise by me." For a second the old man's face was a ofiirltr Ho wns nmn/prl nt. the Ulllookcd for kindness and then, as its purport ; dawned upon him he touched his tattered hat and said: i , " God bless pour anncr, I'll never say another word ngin ye, but" (and here his eyes twinkled merrily) "are ye sure it wasn't two quarters yc7, owed me ?" The friend roared, and as McLean red- j dened to the roots of his hair cxclaimcd : "Oh, pay the man in full. Don't try , to beat him out of a quarter." The Irishman got another quarter in 1 ! addition to the first.?Cincinnati Commercial. i 1 Her First Shoos. The first baby when she needs her first I pair of shoes lu-ars this from her proud j and happy father: j, And docs it want some 'ittle shocs-ums ! for its 'ittle fect-unis' Well, p:ipa shall ' get it .ill tlie 'ittle shoc-ums it wants, so i he shall." When the order for the second pair comcs he seems a little surprised, and says: "What! Has papt's little girl worn out its pretty new shoes so soon* She is ! a little rogue, so she is, to kick out her j shoes so." i Before the child is a month older her toes arc to be seen through her third pair of shoes. ! "What!" cries papa when lie is inj formed of the fact. "Well, I wonld just | like to know how the deuce that youngj ster kicks out her shoes so fast? She i wears out more shoes than I do. She'd | J : break up a bank president at this rate." j And when tiic order for the lifili pair ; \ ! comes, papa observes: "Woll if tliis (lnn't l?Mfc nil! I'd like to know if I've got to get that young one ( a new pair of shoes every day of her life. I'm tired to death of this thing, Clara. If she wants another pair of shoes this ' month she can take the pennies out of her j bank and buy 'em. I won't." Poor papa!?Tid-Bits. ( ? j , The Babes in the Wood. The story of the "Babes in the Wood," ' whose bodies the robins covcred with j 1 leaves, has been to the children a pa- j ' thetic story lor many a long year. The ' covering of graves by robins is an old j < and tender tradition. It was believed s that the wren assisted in the suggestive ceremony. A very old couplet says: 1 " Cov'ring with moss the dead's unclosed eye, j j Th-j little redbreast teaches charitie." ' Webster says, in his tragedy of "Vit- ; ' toria Corombona," published in 1012: " Call for the robin redbreast and the wren, i 1 Since o'er shady groves th>y hover And with loaves and flowers do cover ! . The friendless bodies of unburie 1 men." f Itobins and wrens are frequently named t in conjunction by old piets. Whether ' f the two species of birds dwell nolably iu s unison an ornithologist alone can tell. ! r even old folk lore puts it: ' i 44 Robins and wrens ! s Are (iod's cooks an 1 hens; s Martins and swallows Aro God's i>est scholars." x Killiiiy Four Smiirrols lit lino <hnt a Probably never before in any part of r the country where game so little abounds ? has there been a shot fired with the same j eilcct, under similar circumstances, as the a one which Andy Dixon, of Glascock c County, made a few days ago. Dixon r killed four squirrels at one shot and f wounded a fifth. The squirrels were out j n on the limbs of a tree, :>nd not in a nest ! r or hollow. A negro/ named Warren 1 c Davis a day or two agd killed foursquir- ' rels at one shot. Three of them were I young ones, and they were trying to take j a hickory nut from the mouth of an old j "frisky tail." In these days when a i hunter kills even one squirrel at a shot it is counted a good many.?Savannah ' News. ; Watch ('Imins "There will not bo so many watch | f chains worn this winter as last," said a | s Chestnut street jeweler to a Philadelphia j ^ Cull man. "Why? Because they are | going out of fashion with carefully j \ dressed men. Do you remember when i ? the fobs were worn some years ago? j J Pretty, were they not? In my opinion 1 t they will come in populrr favor again ! n this winter. We are slowly coming ! ( back to the habits and cu-toms of our j j, daddies, and right good habits and cus- ; c toms they were. Neither you nor I will j c live to see it, but there will come a time j 0 when Philadelphians will wear knicker- J j bockcrs and silver buckles, and affect , 8 powdered wigs and the dress of one ! < hundred years ago. A Show of Hands. w c wisn it were as near spring as it is >~ winter. All in favor of the motion 1 manifest it by the uplifted hand, c and many others.?Danville Breeze. <3 THE HUMAN SKIN. CONVERTING MAN'S crTrCLT INTO GHASTLY SOUVENIHS. Card Cases Made Prom an K.vecu ted Murderer's Skin ? Human Hides Turned Into Various Articles by Medical Students. The tanning of human skin is a com mon practicc. It is carried on to a muc! greater extent than most persons sup pose, not only in Europe, but in thi: country. All sorts of articles are mad< of it, and it is said to be lasting and ele gant. The fact has lately come proraiuentlj to the surface and attracted widespreac attention in consequence of the scanda created in Paris by the Pranzini business This man, as everybody has read, committed three brutal murders and was be headed. His body went to the dissecting, table of the College of Medicine, and i man named Godinet, who was an attendant in the laboratory, secured some o: the skin from the legs and presented it t< adetcctivc named Kossignol. lie had it tanned and converted into card-cases Pranzini's skin was remarkably white and it is said, the eases were the mosi beautiful that had been seen for a long time. Kossignol, prou;l of his mementoes o: the notorious criminal, gave them to twe of his superior officers, Taylor and Gorou The}', of course, showed the card-cases and explained where they had com< from. Many were shocked and the mat tergot to the ears of the authorities. Dr. Brouardel, Dean of the Faculty of tin College of Medicine, caused an inquiry t( be made, and Godinet was discharged. The ghastly and absorbing subjeel having been broached at a reception a the house of the famous Dr. "\V. A Ham mond, in Fifty-fourth street,that gentleman was asked for information. In th< course of his remarks I)r. llammonc stated that the tanning of human skit began with the curing of other skin: of every description. lie said: "In early times the victors in a ligh tanned the skins of the vanquished anc hung them out- ou the tents as trophies Later they made gourds of them to carrj Ia Ki'nrl fnrrrrnfa niul rnrpiv iuvu|j..w for shields,as well as ornaments. Womei hung trinkets on strings made of humar skin, and in some tribes tied the bal>ie: on the backboards with sinews anc muscles. "The human cuticle is fine, supple tough and durable. It is easily tannec in the usual way and keeps out water cold and heat. Medical students are ir the habit of tanning it or having ittanncc Mid getting useful and ornamental article made of it. They send it to their friend: as purses, pocketbooks, card-cases, slip pers and covers of books, music, foot stools and hand-bags. " Gloves of most beautiful texture liav< been made from the hide of women, and indeed, there arc ladies who wear noth ing else. A celebrated actress uses glove: of this description half way up her arms and people often wonder where she ob tains gloves of such rare and exquisiti fineness and finish. "There is a physician well knowi among the faculty in a certain city out Bide of New York whose shoes an always made of negro hide. He has dis j n. a. - .i ? 1. ~ covcrcu Ulill U CUlUlttU muu a fclvui uiaiw: the best shoes, and lie lias given thi preference to that kind of leather. 1I< hasslippers made of it, too. and tobacci pouches and instrument cases. 411 have never been in his oflice or mc the gentleman myself, but I have hearc that lie has a larye chair covered will it." Dr. Hammond stated that there is i rich Creole in New Orleans who is saic to have hundreds of articles made o human skin, and who will pay hand somely at any time for something of thai nature. fShe began with a passion foi rat's skin, but when that became commoi she went over to her own speck's. Indeed, we need not go so far a; Louisiana for an instance of that kind,' said the Doctor. "There is right licit on Murray ilill a fashionable and wellknown young lady who has quite a largt collection of articles made of human ?kin, aud net a colored one among them. [ was very much amused, and I must say somewhat startled, when a young fellow, by being brought face to face with i case of this kiud. "I saw a fellow-student take the skin^ 1 A/?n /?f r? ouKiAnf i r* /lie. JIL IUV UI a OUMjWUb IU tlIV> VUOsecting room and?well?tan them. I wondered what he was at, but I said lothing. A few weeks alter that hia sweetheart came to town, and I wa.5 in:rodueed to her. What was my amazenent. as I took my hat off to her to seu landing on her arm a silver-clasped bag iiacie out of the skin of the sub ject. I ilmost fainted. I knew it in an instant, rhey asked me to dinner, but I couldn't jo. The young lady was very much ickled with her bag, it was so peculiar. lo it was. That night I dreainel of iubjects' legs, and before moruing I nust have seen millions of them turned nto ladles' reticules and wearing the amc stiff red hair they had iu the disiccting room. "Coming down to recent times," coninued Dr. Hammond, "there are many lutlicntic example* in French history or he strange fancy for human skin. Many greater persons than the I'aris police ttliccrs have shown a predilection for hat leather. Carnot, Kc-bespicrre, Jiiliaut md many others?mind you, many ithcrs, dressed themselves with garments nade out of human skin. They had Uppers, boots, hats, gloves, ro!>es, vests ind breeches made of this stuff, and they lot only wore them openly, but boasted >f them.-'?2\eio York Journal. Turtle Liver Oil. At the Colonial and Indian exhibition urtle liver oil was shown among tl.e lovel medical commodities, together vith several preparations of that famous eptue presumauiy vam.iDie ior mvaiui lict, and in particular turtle egg*, the utter consisting entirely of yolk. In heir mature state the eggs have a tough kin and contain a white albumen which Iocs not become opaque when the eggs ire boiled; to obtain the eggs without he albumen the plan is resorted to, it ap>ears,of extracting them from the interior >f the animal, in which state these immaure eggs are about one inch in diainter, ,nd, independent of any special efiVct in the system, arc considered a very pal itablc article of food. The turtle liver >il is given in consumption instead of :od liver oil, and is said to be more igreeablo than the latter when fresh. The lose commonly administered is a tcapoonful three times a day.?Public )j.i in ion. A French gardener, Latour Marliac, las produced a new and beautiful waterily. The flowers arc six inches in Immeter, and their color is the soft binary of the Mareohal Niel rose. Only wo other water-liliea are known?a >retty North American species, and a lull-colored species of Brazil. : Queer Boat for Seal Hunters j A craft, the description of which equals anything to be found in the pages 3 of Jules Verne's eccentric writings is at (present under construction in this city, j The craft may be described as a "cataI maran," or steam launch built of steel, ' with two cigar-.-haped hulls, each about j 05 feet in length, with a deck binding j the two hulls together. Each hull is i built in two compartments, one of which j is to be used for water ballast and the other a* a reservoir of coal oil?the latter " | being used for fuel. The motive power 1 I is obtained from two vertical cnginesand " | two propellers, the shafts of the latter 3 | being so arranged as to lift themselves 3 | out of the way on striking floating ice or any oiner ousiacie. mu uuui is intended for whale, walrus and seal huntf ing in the Arctic, and will be furnished ' with a Guttling gun as well as a powerful ' i electric battery, suflicicntly strong to paralyze any aquatic mammal extant. The boat is said to be a copy of a Ger" | man invention. It wi 1 be taken apart > j when finished and parked for transporta4 | tion on board the whaler to which it is ' I an accessory.?Montreal Witness. f i > The Fowl in India. ' There he stands, a ragged, dingy, brown bird, but game to the backbone. ' He is an important bird, as, but for him, ' I the Anglo Indian would have poor times. > I Beef and mutton are not be had every day in the Mofussil, and when procurable only two or three times a week. But ' fowl is to be h:id. He is the mainstay of the Indian khansamah (head servant 1 or steward >, especially the dak-bungalow 5 khansamah. There is a form always gone through on arriving at one of these bungalows, something after this fashion : 3 "What can you give for dinner, ' khansamah?" asks the traveller. "Whatever the sahib likes," replies the ^ inn-keeper in a grand tone, as if boiled elej hant could be had on short notice. "Well give me some beef."' The* kahnsnir.ah is vcrv sorrv?no beef to be had. j | "Mut'on, then?"' Xo mutton, cither. 1 | You feel you have done, everything in 1 j your power and leave it to the kahnsa5 I m?h and he gives you fowl?fowl soup, j foul cutlets, fowl curried, and fowl done I I up in a do.:en different ways. ? Qhaiuber't 1 Journal. i A Remarkable Fossil. s Profe sor II. G. Seeley exhibited the i most remarkable fossil which has ever i been found to the geologists. This fos5 sil showed the development of the young I of plesiosaurus. Until this fossil had been found and forwarded to him he had , sought throughout the collections of 1 Europe for ei- denee on that dcvclop, ment, but wilhout success. No incident i, in the history of fossilizat'on was more I singular than that which this specimen j displayed. The fossil was a series of j mummies of minute plesiosaurs. loss than - I five inches in length, wlrch had the sub - stanccof their flesh perfectly pre-erved and their bones preserved within the 2 flesh. The remains showed different , conditions of development. This was - the only ease that had ever occurred of i the mineralization of the muscular sub, stance and the preservnt:on of the exter nal form of these animals: and so perfect i was the preservation that the circle of the eye was preserved, and the const it1 ueut bones could be distinguished.?Pall Mall Gazette. J A Dying Language. ) j In spite of the efforts of Mr. Leland 3 and others, it would seem that the use of j j the old Romany language is dying out > j among the gypsies who still wander about j our island. It is row the rule for these t ! Bohemian tribes to speak Knglish among I 1 themselves, and even in the cases in j which the Romany is still talked it is so mixed up with modern slang as to have lost nearly all its linguistic significance. [ ! This being so, it is not to be supposed f j that the gypsic* will be anxious, as some I of their champions have said, to insure k instruction in Romany for their children j ! when the latter comc under the control ,1 j of the School Board authorities.?Figaro. j Sick Headache 11 I I.? one of the moit distressing affections; and people ! | who aro Its rlotlms deserre sympathy. But the great success Hood's Sarsaparilla has had In curing sick > ' headache makes It seem almost foolish to allow the t trouble to continue. By Its toning and Inrlgoratlng effect upon the digestive organs, Hood's Sarsaparilla readily glvos relief when heaaacna arises irom mai' coition; and In neuralgic condition* by building up the debilitated systom, Flood's Sanmparillu removes . the cau.io and hence overcomes the difficulty. "Hy wife suffered from slclc headache nnd neu ralgla. After taking Hood's Sarsaparllla she rvxt much rellored." W. R. Bibb, Wilmington, Ohio. Hood's Sarsaparilia Sold by all druggists. (1; six for $5. Prepared only I ; by C. I. HOOD * CO., Apothecarlos, Lowell, Mass. j 100 Po8Q3 One Dollar j JPP- loSS it ilay. Samples worth $1.50, FREE I {ft Muos not under the horse's feet. Writ? 1 " Brewster Safety Rein Holder Co.. Holly, Mich. , j to Soldiers* Heirs. Sendstamp ' PnSlllllS I?r *',rcul'lrs- COL. I,. BIN(5 IWIwlH nAM, Att'y, Washington, I), c. GOLD Is worth <5UU per lb. Pettlt's Ey? Salv# Is worth |1,OJO, but is sold at 25c. a box uy dealers [fjlljl jl, j Art needle-work and valuable e or their beauty much impairc soap, which is too rank for such the proper method is to make sui and allow to cool till lukewarm. ' is perfectly harmless. A WORD OF There are many white soaps, each repres they ARE NOT, but like all counterfeits, lai the genuine. Ask for "Ivory" Soap and Copyrirht 1SW. br Buried Treasure. Lawyer?"Your uncle makes you hia ; sole heir, but the will stipulates that the ; sum of one hundred dollars must be ' bi:ri< cl -with him." Heir (feelingly)?"The old man was I eccenlrif, but his wishes must be re- j spccled, of coure. I'll write a check for i the amount."?New York Hun. An Important Arrest. The arrest of a suspicious character upon his general appearance, movements or companionship, without waiting until lie has robbed a traveler, tired a house, or murdered a fcllowman, is an important function of a shrewd detective. Even more important is the arrest of disease which, if not checked, will blight and j destroy a human life. The frequent cough,loss i of appetite, general languor or debility, pallid | skin, and bodily aches and pains, announce the approach of pulmonary consumption, which is promptly arrested and permanently cured by Dr. Pierce's "Golden Medical Discovery." Sold hv When respiration ceases our education is finished, and not a moment sooner. "I Don't Wnnt Relief. But Cure," is the exclamation of thousands suffering from catarrh. To all such we say: Catarrh can be cured by Dr. Sage's C.itarrli Remedy. It has been done in thousands of eases; why not in yours? Your danger is in del iy. Enclose a stamp to World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y., for pamphlet on this disease. Thk disappointment of manhood succeeds to the delusion of youth. Weak lungs, spitting of blood, consumntion and kindred affections cured without physician. Address for treatise, with 10 cents in stamps. World's Dispensary Medical Association, 003 Main Street. Buffalo, N. Y. What prevents us from being natural is the desire to appear so. "I Cure Fit*." This heading is a familiar sight to most newspaper rejulers, us it has appeared regularly in the best publications for many years past. Dr. H. (j. Root, of 183 Pearl .St., New York, has a world wide reputation as a successful specialist in this distressing disease, and has, no doubt, cured more cases than all other doctors combined. As an evidence of good faith j the doctor sends a free sample bottle of his rem- | edy to all sufferers who write for it if they give : tlinir Kvnrpss and Postotlice address. If you are bothered with "hard times" and want to learn how to turn your time into money quickly and pleasantly, write to B. F. Johnson <fc Co.. Richmond, Va. They have a plan on foot that you ought carefully to consider. Connuiiiptlou Surely Cured. To the Editor:?Please inform your readers that 1 have a positive remedy for the above named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been permanently cured, i shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FKEB to any of your readers who have consumption it they will send me their Express and P. O. address. Respectfully, T. A. S LOCUM. M.C..181 Pearl St.. N. Y. 'Royal Glue' mends anything! Broken Chi. na. Glass, Wood. Free Vials at Drugs & Gro KBDDER'S A SIR EC' UIIE FOR INDIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA. Over "i.ftlO Physicians have sent its their approval of DIGESTYLIN, saylnc that It is the best preparation for Indigestion that they have ever used. We have never heard of a case of Dyspepsia wher* DIGESTYLIN taken that was not <'ilre<i. FOR CHOLERA INFANTUM. IT WILL CUUE TUB MOST AGGRAVATED CASES. IT WILL STOl' VOMITING IN I'KEGNANCY. IT WILL RELIEVE CONSTIPATION. For Slimmer Complaints and Chronic Diarrhoea, which are the direct results of Imperfect digestion, IirilPCTVt IV will /.fTwcf nil lmmril!9l< mlra Take DYGKSTYJ.IN for all pains and disorders ot the stomach ; they all come from Indigestion. Ask your druggist for DIGESTYI.IN (price $1 per largo bottle). If he does not have It eend one dollar to us and we will nend a bottle to you, express prepaid. Do not hesitate to send your money. Our nouse ij reliable. Established twenty-five years. WMi F. Kini)?R ?Sr CO.. Manufacturing Chemisty 8,? .folni Ht.? N. Y. ELVS Catarrh CREAM BALKgs^^f.^ Cleanses ' ? Nnsal Passas.es Uc-.tlJ Allays Pain an<lgfWj Inflam mation FuAYFEVERJ)^ Heals the Sores gtj' Restores t licm*' / Senses of TastcElL^^/ and Smell. TRY THFCVRE. A particle Is app lei WmtKML-?V ' '' Into each nostril and iUAYaPEVER agrceub e. Hrlee SOwnL * * m-M>* w fc" u % at druggists: by mall, reglsfe ? I. ft) c-eut?. ELY BROTHERS, VS< Greenwich St., New York. One A iront (Merchant onlrl wanted In ererr town for It Is the unanimous opinion of y customers that j your" anslil'i Punch" Is the est 5c. cigar they liavo ever smoked. Jinny c'aim that It Is as goo I at the majority of those at 10c. Jons a. Dado, Druggl t, Milwaukee, Wh Address It. XV. TANSII.Ij CO.. CUIengo. FRAZER^f BEST IN THE WORLD UllLnvL tif Get the Genuine. - Sold Everywhere. MPli WANTED to handle the emu: In g fl I C | A I" EH Money-saving work, complete UuvU "llor>e UuoU iV Slock-IJoetsir." ! l.t Departments. 7.fO fciuKravlngs. Sulci sure and fast, j .'JO days time. N. I>. Thompson PCB.Co., New Vork. UlAflS/ KOR AI.L, $:?) ;i week "ml expenses j K?3t B si n paid. Valuable outfit and particular* WW 3J 91 B\ free. P. O. VICKKUY, AURUSta._Me. n * T CNTC Obtained. Send stamp for I UH I Cll I O Inventors' Guide. L. Llno- | B ham, Patent Attorney, Washington, 1>. C. I 11 mi ? II y iilf ' f mbroideries are frequently ruined, I d by washing them with ordinary delicate articles. A simple, and ds of hot water and Ivory Soap, I This solution, while very effective, j ' WARNING. ented to be "just as good as the' Ivory' ck the peouliar and remarkable qualities of insist upon getting it. Procter A Gemblo. MARVELOUS MEMORY . DISCOVERY. Wholly unlike artificial nritrmii. p Any book lenrnetl Id one reading. Fundamental Principles of the Lolsettlan system. L Wholly unlike Mnemonics In Conception, 1'ro J cess, Development aud Results. II. The Natural Memory Restored to its right ust < and made powerful. Precisely as the Microscope and / Telescope constitute a Scientific extension of the Nat ural Eyesight, so Is the Scientifically trained Memory A an extension of the Natural Memory. j III. The power of Continuous Attention growing apace with the Memory. J IV. Memory and Attention being strengthened to ? the highest decree by the five lessons, the System It no longer used, except in rare cases at first and afterwards In none at all. "Prof. Lolsette gave me a new memory"?Hon. Judah P. Benjamin?"It has greatly strengthened 1 my natural memory"~Hoii. \V. W. Astor, late U. S. Minister to Italy?"Prof. Lolsette's system appears J to me to warrant the strongest endorsement"?John j C. Minor, M. D. "I regret that It did not form a part of the curriculum of our schools"--Stephen J Rand, Esq., Paymaster of the U. S. Navy?"There U not one institution of learnlug In the land that would be without Its aid If Its worth were known"? Rev. A. J. Mclnerney, Rector of St. Mary's Church, Annapo T 1 Is? "T huvo fnrmoH nno ?>luna liv If and have decided that hereafter I sha'l try to induct o all my students to master this system before tliey I o enrage In the linguistic studies under my direction" ?Hev. Francis B. Denlo, Professor of Hebrew In the ti Bangor Theological Seminary "Prof. Lclsette'S ? system Is a great boom not only to the student of b shorthand, out to the veteran reporter"?W. W. WU- E son, Stenographer. "Since learning your System. I And I can soon learn HI to play any piece of music without notes, a feat Impossible to me formerly'*?Eliza Cawthorne "No man has a memory so poor that this method will not greatly aid It: uor nas aiiy one a memory so good as v. not to stand In need of the help which It can fur- 13 nlsh"?Prof. Wm. R. Harper, of Vale?"By his Sys- 1 tem I have already learned one book In one reading, j. and I Intend to learn many more In the same way"? Sir Kdward H. Meredyth, Bart. "I confidently rec- i, onimend your system to all who desire to strengthen " their memory and cure their mind wandering"? ,, Bernard Ellis, Esq. "It Is a perfect memory sys- * tem"?Weekly Budget "I do not say that I made myself a walking Hume or Macau lay, but 1 do say that what I had learned, I knew perfectly, g thanks to your system. The result was full marks (13))"?Reginald E. Murray, Esq.?''I have Just come off top In a Bursary examination, and 1 owe my sue- | cess in great measure to the general Improvement 1 which your system had effected in my retentlvcne.<s and acumen ?Thomas Talt, Esu.?"I have no hesitation in thoroughly recommending the system to all i who aro In earnest in wishing to train their memo- j rles effectively, and are therefore willing to take rea- c sonable pains to obtain so useful a result"?Mr. Rich- ti ard A. Proctor, the Astronomer?"Prof. Lolsette did jj notcrciito a memory for me; no, nothing of the n kind. And yet he did for me what amounted to the ^ same thing, for he proved to me that I already had amemory, a thing which I was not aware of till then. [ I had before beeu able, like most people, to store up and lose things in the dark cellar of my memory, but P he showed me how tj light up the cellar. It Is the difference?to change the figure?between having , money where you can't collect it. and having It lu vnup The ItifncDi'irinn r?n?t mn hilt lift!** V#?t r \ value It at a prodigious rtRiire"?S. L. Clemens, I a (Mark Twain) "There Is this all-Important differ I r enee between other systems and that of Prof. I.oi ! f sette, that while the former are arbitrary and artl i ; ficlal the latter la entirely based upon Physiological <j and Psychological principles"?The I'eoples Friend j. "I tlvus saved twenty hours out of twenty four In . , learning the two sermons"?ltev. S. II. I.ee. v Class of 100 Columbia Law students: Jul at Meriden; < 250 at Norwich: two classes of 2oU each at Vale; 4<H) at X Wellexlev College and-100 at University ofPeunsyl- ^ vania; :ix) at Oberlin College and three large classes * at Chautauqua. i Prospectuses sent POST FREE, with opinions In r full of eminent people In both continents. j Great Inducements to Correspondence Classes. t Address PItOF. I.OISETTE, atr i-'ifrh Avi"tn<>. v-??t. ! " i The treatment of many thousands of cases of those chronic weaknesses and distressing ailments peculiar to females, at the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N. Y., has afforded a vast experience in nicely adapting and thoroughly testing remedies for the cure of woman's peculiar maladies. Dr. Piorce's Favorite Prescription is tho outgrowth, or result, of this great and valuable experience. Thousands of testimonials, received from patients and from physicians who have tested it in the more aggravated and obstinate cases which bad banied their skill, prove it to bo the most wonderful remedy ever devised for the relief and cure of suffering women. It is not recommended as a "cure-all," but as a most perfect Specific for woman's peculiar ailments. As a powerful, invigorating tonic, it imparts strength to the whole 83'stein, and to tho womb and its appendages in particular. For overworked, ''worn-out," ' run-down," debilitated teachers, milliners, dressmakers, seamstresses, "shop-girls," housekeepers, nursing mothers, and feeble women generally, Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the greatest earthly boon, being unequaled as an appetizing cordial and restorative tonic. Aa a soothing and strengthening nervine, "Favorite Prescription" is unequaled and is Invaluable in allaying and sub- i auing nervous excitability, irritability, ex- J haustion, prostration, hysteria, spasms and other distressing, nervous symptoms commonly attendaut upon functional and organic disease of the womb. It induces refreshing < sleep and relieves mental anxiety and despondency. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is a legitimate medicine, carefully compounded by an experienced and skillful physician, and adapted to woman's delicate organization. It is purely vegetable in its composition and perfectlv harmless in its effects in any condition or the system. For morning sickness, or nausea, from whatever cause arising, weak stomach, indigestion, dysSepsia. and kindred symptoms, its use, in small oses, will provo very beneficial. "Favorite Prescription" Is a post tivc curs for the most complicated and obstinate cases of leucorrhea, excessive flowing-, ' painful menstruation, unnatural suppressions, prolapsus, or falling of the womb, weak back, female weakness, onteversion, retroversion, bearing-down sensations, chronic congestion, inflammation and ulceration of the womb, inflammation, pain and tenderness in ovaries, accompanied with "internal heat." As a regulator and promoter of functional action, at that critical period of change from girlhood to womanhood, " Favorite Prescription "is a perfectly safe remedial agent, l acd can produce only good results. It ia equally cfflcacious and valuable in its effects when taken for those disorders and derange- , " ments incident to that later and most critical I rj period, known as " The Change of Life." . d "Favorite PrcBcription," when taken ?! In connection with the use or Dr. Pierce's ~ Golden Mi.'dioal Discovery, and small laxative ? doses of Dr. Pierce's Purgative Pellets (Little s Liver Pills), cures Liver, Kidney and Bladder T diseases. Their combined use also removes blood taints, and abolishes cancerous and 9 scrofulous humors from the system. ' i "Favorite Prescription" is the only * medicine for women, sold by druggists, under a positive iruarniitee, from the manufacturers, that it will give satisfaction in every case, or money will be refunded. This guarantee has been printed on the bottle-wrapper, and faithfully carricd out for many years. Large bottles (100 doses) $1.00, or six bottles for $5.o0. For largo, illustrated Treatise on Diseases of Women (100 pages, paper-covered), send ten cents in stamps. Address, World's Dispensary Medical Association, 6C3 main SL, BUFFALO, N. Y. I" CORE FITS ! I When / Bay cure I do not mean merely to stop them I': for* time and then have them return affain. I mean a 1 adical euro. 1 have muds the riisec.se of FITS. KPIL* in SPSY or FALLING SICKNESS a lifatong Btudy. I r.i nrrant my remedy to cure tile wore* caws. Because (there have failed is no reason for not now receirine a !!: :ure. Semi at once for a treatise and a Tree Bottle >:i if my infallible remedy. Give Express and Post Office. i . H. (?, HOOT. .11, C., 183 Pearl ht. New York. i nnn AAA I-ndles Wanted to uso our B I |UUU|UUU "Magnetic Hairpins." They I lellcve N'ervoils Headache aiul the discomfort often I uusoil liv all other hairpins. Snmplo I!ox 1 (Jr. I l'Miv? E. >1. OH., Vitidtiml. N't*? Jersey. K IIais'a DSIU Great English Gout an J I SeuBi S B IllSa Rheumatic Hcmedy. ? Ovul iiox, 34; round, IJ l'illn. >v PeSS?!?* By return mall.' Full Description }? ki 3? 9* Moody'* New Tailor System of l?rr?? . rlTaE>& Outline. 5I00DY & CO.. Cincinnati. 0 ij* AS Ai ASI rt ah increase may txiiite. ai an jA'lressMiu. U.SrnvK.ss* <" >.. i Jo h'HrlwIIWUroverlkl*g.Washlagt*n,D.C j V( r msium pipth lioirr, l-atest lSiiiMV I th< ciconAiiu ririn wnttL, and Carriage I ful iiprovemuat. IlKKHItAM) CO.. Kremont. O. alT " "" *"* >AIiM8' Burnett College* Phlla., Pa. Situs by . i.oiia luruuncu. dcuiMai'aiii!>, 9'iOi W'rito vcj Morphine Cuird In 10 P? sMibBKH 10 20 day*. iNo pay till cured. JS GUafl Dr. J.Sicpliena,Lebanon,Ohio. 15 The ulitn who has invested from three to five dollars in a Kubber Coat, and m\ at liis ilrst half hour * experience In a a n a storm Amis to hil sorrow that it is 1IM L hardly a better protection than a mos- Rf E qulto netting, not only feels chagrined w w at bcinp so badly taken in, but alio feels if he doe* not look exactly Ilka BB iik tor the MFISH BKAND" Sucikk i ! are th^ru H^gtuNT>^?tnd^for (tescript!Ire c*tal - I ?? I y n HadiayT .R. "vi Mb rafcfflsrt BMM In from oue to twenty minutes never fail* to nlove Pain with one thorough application. No mater how violent or excruciating the pain, the Rhealatic. Bedrlddeu, Infirm, Crippled, Nervous, NeuralIc or prostrated with disease may suffer. Had way* Lcaily Relief will afford instant ease. It Instantly ellcves and soon cures IheumatiMin, Neural gin, . 7oughs, Colds. ?old in the Head, Sore Throat, * I si hum, Bronchitis, "neumonia, Sciatica, 'lead ache, Inflammations, Toothache, Congestions, DIFFICULT BREA THING. ladicav's Ready Relief is a Cttre V# r/VCf y JL r?j#f wir>0| M3 rU(l?CO| in the Bark, (hent or MAtnbm. 't iras the First and in the Only PAIN REMEDY lint Instantly stops the mos". excruciating pains, ally Inflammations, and cures Congestion*, whether f the Lungs, stomach. Bowels or other glanda or reruns by one application. , INTERN ALL x, a lialf to a teaspoonful In half a ;tmbler of water will In a few minutes cure Cramps (pasms, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Vnmltlnif, Hearturn, Nervousness, Sleeplessness, Sick Headachy Harrbcea, Colic, Flatulency and all Internal pains. 1ALARIA IN ITS VARIOUS FORMS CUREO AND PREVENTED. There Is not a remedial agent In the world that rill cure Fever and Ague and all other Malarious, llions and other fevors. aided by RAD WAY'S ILLS, so quickly as It A1) WAY'S READY tKLlEF. R. R. R. not only cures the patient seized wlth.Mairia, but if people expose.i to the Xalarial POtoOA rill every morning take 20 ' r 30 drops of Ready icllef In water, ana eat, say a cracker, before going nt. they will prevent attacks. Price ;*) cents per bottle. Sold by druggists. RADWAY'S PILLS The Great Liver and Stomach Reitud/ 'or the enre of all disorders of tho Stomach, Liver, lowels. Kidneys, Bladder, Nervous Diseases, Fenial# omplalntn. Loss of Appetite, Headache, Constlp*. Ion, Costiveness, Iudigestion, BllIouane?L Farm, nflatnmation of the Bowels, Pile* and all aerang*lentsof theIuternalViscera. Purflrregetable,oooilnlng no mercury, mineral) or deloterious drux*. 'ERFECT DIGESTION by taking RaS way's SICK HEADACHE, (yspepsia, Foul Stomach, Biliousness will be avoided, lid the food that Is eaten contributes Its nourishing iropertles for the support of the natural wan to of hel>ody. tif Observe the following symptoms r. suiting fron* lseaseof the Digestive Organs: Constipation. Inward 'lies. Fullness of the Blood in the Head, Acidity of he Stomach. Nausea, Heartburn, Disgust of Food, 'ulineas or Weight in the Stomach, Sour ErueUdlocs, Inking or Fluttering of the Heart, Choklntr or softonting serftations when In a lying posture, Dimness of 'Won. Dots or Webs before the Sight. Fever and Dull >aln in the Head. Deficiency of Perspiration, Yellowiess of the Skin and Eyes.Paln In the Side,Ches t.Llnft* nd Sudden Flushes of Heat. Burning in the F esh. A few dos'-i of RA IIWAY'S Pllil.W wll fre* he svetem of all the above named disorders. Prleo'25 cents per bo*. Sold by all drag?!its. WSend a letter stamp to DR. RAD WAY* 70.. No. 3'2 Warren Street. New York, foe v )ur Boole of Advice. V11K SljtKjrt) GET RAD WAY'S. SYS U?43 Pf&PI a*\\ U PIE IN THE unti%W Gone where the Woodbine Twineth. Hats are smart, but "Rough cn Rats" beat* them. Clears out Rats, Mice, Roaches, Wate* Bugs, Flies, Beetles, Moths, Ants, Mosquitoes, Bert-bugs, Insects. Potato Bugs, Sparrows, Skunks, weasel, Gophers, Chipmunks, Molea, Musk Rats, Jack Rabbits, Squirrels. ICc. & 25c. ROUGHE'DIRT Washing and Starching Powder. A revelation in housekeeping. A new discovery, beats the world. How to Wash and Iron* Dishes, Glassware, Windows. made clear as crystal with Rough on Dirt. Vfiliyr* 111 DI C The most inezperiencYUUrlU UlllLOedcan, with Rough on Dirt, do as nice washing and ironing as can be done in any laundry. Boiling not necessary ; unlike any other It can be used In both WASHINQ and STARCHING vouneedbav? no fear in using thl3 article: being free from* vile alkali it does not rot, yellow nor injure tlieflnest fabric; clears, bleaches, whitens. Theouly article that can be added to starch (hot or cold) to jrive a good body and beautiful gloss; Insist on your Druggist or Grocer getting it for you. 10 & 2i5c. E. S.Wells, Jersey City.. ROUGHsSCORNS 15c. At Druggists. A GRAND OFFER! Solid Rolled Gold Rings almost &IVEN AWAY! Engiicaent RlQf, 10?. I0*rluted Band ?at TTtth twa F1ut*4 B?nd wltfc orw?lorclv Iiluc Turqu*l>o mputal cap, Anuria* da lirllllaiit, l&c. Dlumoud iiIIIdi, 16# ' polar Flat Rani Rhlao Hand?oac Cum vlnaond ictllBeiSuc, 20 c?ot?. The *bore cnti represeui air ?f the latit and mr?it popular tanufariar*<l in the ring !!;ie. Tb* h Vm we ;ut:ne h*re ari ?peJai?. nioly to lotroduco our n?iadi. Wf Kwrantci oarli of thtaboteD?i t'j ba marie of Soj: i 1$k\ Roiifd 'Jnld Plate. O'.her fiar<o from $1.00 to $l.*0 fur nut half aa food. V/mili Itearfelly refund iha n??ncy to any dissatisfied euntorner. Wllb it-L rior v.e i?::d our l.*rjfe Illustrated Cats!,of Watcher balre, Cbarma and other Jewttry. We take p??Ugo sUtnaa lb? im? ai euh. Ring* test po*tp*M to any postrffr.-?> 13 the United lnte? bat not b>C*nad*. Me*:t!"n th'?r.v*-. Send y.'nr sddrwi i/> Domestic Mf;. Oo. Wallingford.Oonn. IXHAaSTEO V'jTAUTf A Grsal f^ad.'cal Wor.'t for Youn* and flfliddla-A^e j M?n. KM THYSELF.^???? Jl'lll.hllEi) l>v ilit,* I'tAKOIIY .item. CAi. INSTITn E, Xo. i i; illliiii li Sr., ohron. .Wh*h. \\M. It. I'AKKEIC, >.s*u ri ij; rii>*lc!an M'tro than one mil ton > mm M. It tr.-ata upon J>Vr*o:i? an I Vhvsi.'&l Debility, 0 nature Dcrllne. Evli::i;s*< d Vitality, Iuip:i(reJ tor. an I Impurtc of ih.' i:loo !. aud the uutoM iseries consequent tirr;oa. UuntAins :w i>avov !>*tantial cm .oss d Iiln !iu r. full Kilt. Warrantcl i: bps: popular cuii'il ireat'se pablis'ied In 1 tiiih lan? ia?C. Pile* only SI I y mail. nou^xU. ,'t concra e.l In a plain wranpT. Jlfustnitiiv i?;i> frtt if yo t ?e:id now. Ad'lros a abrv.\ ><{#-ir thit ffiper. * jROPSY |n ^TREATED FREE. Jh Jliiv.. treated biopsy an t Its complicate >t 3y with most w onderful f-ucoe-s; use ve^ t-tblt rcmeli'-H. entirely harm.ess. Kemive at n,l' oms of Dr.ipsy In JS to 'ill days. Curo patients -'""iiuced hopeless by the beat p n'siclans. Kron? st < use symptoms rapidly disippea'-. and In ion >' * nt i< a-t two thirds 0.' all s> mptoms ar> ro>v, d. Some ay cry humbug without knowing V'h ns about it. He'meinbcr it co^ts you nothing realize rne ? ent of o.ir treatment for yourself. * n?-e constantly curing eases of lonjj stniidin;? >i a thuthave be'-'tl lappaJ a number of t in -s A'ld ; patient declared sina^c to IIv- a week, (five I1 history of case. name. aire. sex. how Ion? lifted, etc. 8"ml for frc- pamphlet containing tlmonials. Ten (lays' treatment furnished fro? mall. If you order trial you must return thli actrtlsemcnt to us with 10 cents la s'amps to pay state. Epilepsy (Fits) po-dtively cured. if ii n\i?i?i.'N A- SONS. >1. D?.? 'ulr*al"'oiei7*i3i" <k '233 Canul St., X Y. A J* ^ l we offer the man who wants scrvlco i (not style) a garment that will keep m him dry In the hardest storm. It i? . T called rOWKH'3 FISH BIUXO . I "SLICKEK/'anamcfamUUrtoevcry Cow-boy all over the land. With then* IBB the only perfect Wind and Waterproof I nl Coat U " Tower's Fl>h Brand Slicker." I w and take no other. If your storekeeper lojjue. A. J. Totter, 20 Simmons St., Boston. Mas*.