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^ Humor K I' 1 if 'i ^ HER LENTEN SACRIFICES. I Hi* Daughter Wa* Certainly a Re- j.-?n markably Earnest Girl. "My wife Is having r hard time of It tor daring Lent," says the man with the rambling whiskers. "She Is trying to # go without candy, and it is really a j?^1 a ' great trial to her." "Well," says the man with the wllt ed eyebrows, "my daughter Is certain- For 1 iy making n record. She isn't eating i S|t 1 * a bit of.meat?not even ttslt and eggs." I m r "Yon don't say!" Kor f "Fi.et. And she doesn't eut any can- 1 J dy, nor does she go to the theater." ? I ? "Well, well!" "And. more than that, she hnsn't w played u single hand of bridge." i "You don't tell mel How about 5 danaiugr * V "She hasn't danced a step during h Lent. t "Shotjcertalnly Is a remarkably ear- / neat giru You aeUlotu see one. who Is M ho tlnu In her resolutions. How old iff is shelf? "Three months and ten days old."? ?L Wilbur D. Nesldt in Chicago Post. V* 'V > ,<1 J ?. Lucky Atlas! Teu'-hefci-Now, Johnnie, can you tell tne who.Atlas was? f Johnhte (tiged nine)?Yes, teacher, f. * He was the man believed to supilorl the earth on his shoulders. TeaVher? He supported the earth, did he ?| J oh utile?Yes, sir. *> ToAeher?Well. then, who supitorted "1 him? not I Johnnie (after thinkiug a little while) and ?I suppose he married a rich woman. "I ?New York Tluies. any * Kan In the Heavyweight Class. Tenderfoot (watching a funeral procession )Do you always have "<: horses to,the hearse? ha in v Alkali ILe? Not always. The passea- way seer in there came out to this country ery a bragging that he was the champion you lightweight of the worhl, and one 'T * , night when ho got too pert One Eyed eartl Bill pumped him so full of lend that It "V 13g) took the extra team of horses to pull "II the hoarse.?Harper's Weekly. nwa $2 * tellli ? Not Overanxious. i pr JfgB 1 An old Kansas citizen who had been rest: ryB henpecked all Ills life was about to ? \j die* His wife felt It her duty to offer ' r A[ hlnj suqIi consolation as she uiiglit. a and stld.fi'.John. you are about to go, wen i but 1 will follow you." and "I suppose so, Mauda," said the old her. man weakly; "but, so far as I am con- steel I cerned.'you don't need to be In any per. t 4$ -'Dittoed hurry about it." * rivei V 1 ^?- his ' Little In Comparison. "Ala J I "It's a fuel," said Towne, "that my hap] t fi wife Is able to dstss on copiparatfvely ^ v little UH>n<\v."a? ?| * 4 * "Whnt^ exclaimed glairy at. "Oh A < \ i ?ome n<m! What da *you moan by ed t ' % ' 'comparatively littleJF* 0f ? / "I mean on Aitfle compared with mug what she thinks,,she ought to hgve/'? astri \j Catholic Sbunlfird and Times. > -jj J *0| Mar, His Occupation. ?- -j "Yes, lie was puce a professional l>o)?ii baseball player." * ? * i "What's he doing n?w?" " . ^ "He puts in most of his lime hunting <, for people who arc willing to listen while he tells them what a great man nnv ' V used to be."?Chicago Hceord Her- zet', Hopeless Case. *'Y L k" ?* "Why, Lushley, I am astonished te "I'm ' \K aee you out! The Inst thing 1 heard ehnn about you was tliat ttie dnctoY bad '5,r a fcfven yon up." -"had / \'Well, he has. He?or-told me l he hutli other day be had charged up my uc- Woh. ? count to.proflt and toss." mk rwmr v His ftofs. VTho actor of the stranded troupe "i"*1 at the prospect of footing 1,0 11 > l|ea. i '-.your kicking," said the man ne*?s lr^*p4UC"tly. "You signed as Tgentlemau, didn't yon?" ? \ . Ledger If Ths Prime Necessity. Ktun (1 "No 'matter whether inventors use salla or motors on their airships, there is one thing all will havo to do." ' JVbot is that?" *n a Jt "} llsc the wind."?Baltimore Anier* '' V y > \ 5_ ""K K Circus. . 8W01 I ber d. I I An Hi 5? ? kmV JI i IM >* /V I 1 / V v V^v^r T,,v? _. . " \/ got lil* back ?i? at _ph ( ^ j ' Jon a millionaire "j] J ^ \ yysptgyH THE LANCASTER ne ted Yonag Wornu. Q? Narrowly Escapes :hing Near Day- U nriur Following Ordars. o?," said tin* magistrate. ".voir VH t testify ouly to what you know;! earsny evidence. Understand ?" I es. sir," replied the female wit ! our name Is Mary 1'.right, i l?eNow, what's your age?" % won't tell you. I have only hear-' 31 evidence on that point."?CatholicI tlard and Times. Do I fire t Then He Shut Up. hot w say, captain," said a smart youth > U?< n ocean vessel, "when you board Flaini ?ssel. where do you get the tlni- oomfc Wi rom the ship's log, of course," an- , ed the captain. j V1.. ' id the smart youth kept his face j ? T. si during the remainder of the " *' ige.? I>etroft Tribune. I ! above His Idea of Moderation. in the liuwlio is determined not to be[? a slave to the clgawet habit,' . t you know." j k low mntiv does he smoke, deah I \?i !? -* confining nimseir to one everj It wpck, don't you kuow."?Cleve-, I'ln In I toiler. ^ Effective. ou are certain it wan not your j / that, sent thin man to the hot* !?- | / lire thing, your honor." replied the i ifTeur airily. "If my mnehine ha'* ilin he'd hnve gone to the tnorgti liadelphia ledger. ' i / The Versatile Growl. / ^ ^ i'hat-8 that dog d../ te la, eai' his ? ' ' gPTF ma0^m love n mnu who is not truly brave heroic." see. And yon have never found one brave and heroic enough."? ?as city Times. York T ha W. Luminous Idea. rlRshy/1 sit>*8 ilie friend, 'Til he of the ted If 1 can see how it Is you al- Demons * get the best there Is to eat in evrestaurant you patronize, and yet C&roIlU never tip the waiters n cent." pg {be ve got the greatest scheme on . It." says Grigsby proudly. bl1 riiat Is itV* up wort r you'll promise not to give it :nni4 v,"" replies Grigsby, "I don't mind " ng yon that when I give my order See put etend to bo the owner of a rival Pian uirant."?Chicago L'ost. , out soil Showing His Mettle. pogsibh man with a bronze complexion i t tip to a girl with a silvery voice ' had the brass to attempt to kiss pOUiids sue Blvl,,E him . of hi . ly glance, xalled loudly lor a cop- " "One of the tlnest" quickly ar* acre. I on the neeno and, with irony in buck*} voice, made the man his prisoner, is,'' cried the unfortunate, "my J Ul n I dues* ts ore!"?Yale Record. full bio A Sure Sign. aiul 550 Wilmington woman recently roach* vht a'. lie conclusion that the attachment j i certain nolieeman for iter . im?l- 1 l' i l?e investigated ie?t it prove dis- than Lt >us to domestic discipline. det'tll c >o you think lie means business, y't" she asked. With a think ho. mum.*' said Mary. "He's (,r whei in to complain about my cookin', i."? TlariH-r's Weekly. Plan cast 2 I A Sportsman Draws the Line. farmer lias to take chances lik< O other business man," said tlie clli ijushei* who Is interested in the uplift, es." answered Mr. Corutossel. 1 u,n ul willin' to take all kinds of in lull ees. I answer most every circu . iiiyhoily sends mo. Hut I never yet the nerve to depend on free distrl Follow ui seeds for my summer vegetu- : (l] "?Washington Star. ^ WHEN KITTY SINGS. Assanl When Kitty aing*. by Jlngv. 'Tia then the welkin tings! never heard it ring. but welt I know A/Tor, uld ring It Kitty's voice had half a Uow- Lvrw When Kitty King*, by Jocks, I a-ijrm The very woods unci rocks touuds prolong add wild eltin echoes to her long! When Kitty sIiirs the lark Daytfl Stop.-s singing in the park. . well lie knows no one would hear or *V Spot him when Kitty a voice la ringing Ailtl Wlti there. o| i1(?r When Kitty sings, you know, Ul ucl Kven the stately crow DlVttV H ears to caw? from respect, the rogue, for har- j yyq yen mony's law! When Kitty sings 1 swear lO'day And dink down In despair, shen her voice my heartstrings smite IliirUH ag entranced; I cannot write. 1 sometimes wish she'd stop, 1 08 a But hint I dare not drop . . !ear she'll go? 1,1 Kitty is our cook, you know! > Will S. Cildley in New York Times. WOO ru ^ brought, a 61 r HV t tv and Ta ftf/lil flamed tin ni l/ wU % most oUl 7I.1 ^ m H sist upon Jfyj. A Ak ey and 'l'ti have never inarriinl because I can ton, Ohio. Lee, >?, 0.,May 5.?In alone- atte just outside this city hgh hiu a quarter of a mile k()t4, home, an excepioually ? tic narried woman, twenty- ?ot ] rs old, was assaulted late 1Qen by a mail who gave his Dcp i Jt-hu Norris. chat Ufisfd crime took place lie of a number of children, and >i?ed an alarm, which was ?? j 1^111 ider (he buckwheat when tar blootu and the cow peas sav irst pods bejiiu to ripen, he ? with a cover crop ol put i clover. to t ?????????????a > VOHMiBMHHI \ Plan for 1 immer Comfort J n*t add the heat of a kitchen^-m o tlie sufficient discomfort of gi rather. <M 5 a New Perfection Wick Blue 'ijH ; Oil Cook-Stove and cook in FS th a "Mew Perfection" f/\ Stove the pre|iaration of [/ J meals, or the hi$ weekly jl ^ injf," is done without ic temperature j?erceptihly that of any other room : house. Another freat advantage MFW PFH1 111JVV JL MJJLtLI Vick Blue Flame k is its handsome CABINF/ frrfv(*S iiu'iur of the mode \elf for warming plat shelves for holdiii| \fitted with racks f | ean be had with t your dealer's .ddr \**T4 ) -is tharafora I your d??l < ' STAI man v ' v several larmers to the the >Dcl the man was captured the i alter a thrilling chase The two miles, in which the scoe e aud the assailant swaru utv ii and exchanged pistol tjro. Deputy Sheriff Loo res-' ? e mau from the infuriated .. and he is now in jail, i been identified by wit- Fai less, bronchitis and other throat ^ re quickly cured l?y Foley's Hon- j y v t as it soothes unit heals the inroat and bronohinl tubes and the and inate coughs dissup pears. In- t| having the genuine Foley's Hon- r 11111 ir. b underburk Pharoiacy, E. by 1 lond X Co, lloith 8prings. s. . smc to Build Up Wort?? tlia win Out Soil. bv , ville Enquirer :?Prof. Williams, superintendent Farmers' Co-operative ^ Be itratiou work in South Fol'e; a,has 6ent Mr. C. J Hughcounty agent, the follow- h?" . , ..... beall ggesiiotis lor building run \ out soil, which suggestWilliams would like to Heat inlo effect in this county: 1. Select a tract ol worn , as much as five acres, if V \ Break to a depth ol 8 | and sow broadcast 100; , il (6 ol lime? or 400 pounds , grade acid phosphate per i,ea Harrow well and tow in ^00 leaf, 1 V bushels per ncr . d >n his crop under when in ero| cm to a depth of S inches vv another crop of buck- vill Turn thi9 crop under! pen i full bloom, but not later mat i ore the firet fro6t,to a ( if o or 4 inches. Follow 1 is e , winter cover crop of rye , (his i*t. j are 2. Tf desired, sow broad un< lUrbels ol cow peas and 1 I f sorghum seed, of 1j- saw , r.? K,,r.b W8, M4V 8 '909 wjsxiz-" " the funderbu Ibany, (is., M<v 0.?Ely Becomes / mes, a desperate negro pris- ? ftflAITp A VTTW in the Lee County j .it at h A Ml II X A |\ 11T iburg, was shot to death this E r*iTl\/U*J 1\ Ml/L rnoon in a hand-to-hand t with Deputy Sheriff 11 D. * i T7i__i. i..?d?rk ce'i u, i?,i. Notable Enterprn ht iu which .he il8er c. uid caster's Progre eave the c**l? alive Both ? i realized this according to Large Stoc uty Logan and woen his ? ice came he killed the i egro. !VL0Clicill0? had entered Holmes' cell the uegro attacked him, it Ha sa'd, with a stool, beating -i ii t . The announcement that tlie Funde oilicer unmercifully betore ... i , , . ,? - selected as the local distributing agenc latter could draw his pistol, mgtoi), Ky., Manufacturers of Andes' 11 u tight began tor its pos Andes' Salve and Andes' Kiuulsion w ion, which ended when Dep. c&3ter w,th >ntereet. . It is an important announcement, Logan i?ped aud the negro ?repv;ivene8* of a leading concern of tl >ped to the cell floor dead, that the tremendous demand for these officer was exonerated. parts of the south will lie tqua! demand. ~ I y E. Wright, a member of the mer and Wife Die! tireat Andes, the noted advertise} wfcc Fighting Fire caster personally a few days ago and t ? ? ' ileiburk Phermacy with a view to spp io.?he, Iud, May 5.?The bod- Andes' medicines. A Samuel Hoover, a faimtr. Thw,e medicines, particularly An.? ! I .1 It -li - ? . . .r , , | ?nu-iire an over me 8OUU1, every sale wfe, "ere fouud in (be | ,lle m>I,uer of lbe vnllle,B chsin BUC| 18 of their 'ourotd barn to-'Jay I s. on signed between the factory repre neighbors. Coroner Siaufft r : burk Pharmacy. I he would return a verdict I e Gre?e '?'? '*??>?? man ? r, | distribution of these curatives, was ur t Mr. mid Mrs, Hoover died J Spartanburg, but as lie had already m le fighting the fire, caused , where lie i- now, at the St. John llote spontaneous combustion. However the hundreds of stories published in the daily press of South " " Preserif tion liave not been one-whit 6V. J. W. Williamsons Letter. thousands of others also, true, starting it* ! W. Williamson, Huntington, W, of any part of the body, stomach troub writes: "this is certity that I used dor trouble, you would do well to pur &?srz?rss&?rcr<? ? y that it wili do all tbut yon claim tor ???????????????? Folev'g Kidney Kemedy ban rostorod h anu strength totbousaands ot weak, town people. Contains no harmful B p F s and is pleasant to tako. Funder- I ? ? Pharmacy, E. W. Llammond .V Co., IB ? *' fit a h Springs. I I 1J Unity Items. Ir. Editor: Please alu?w tno i CUT PRI ce in vour valuable pape' for ' a dots from this 9ec?ion. The; ?? lib of the cotnmuniiy i-> d. The farmers are about I IT order to mov< ie planting. The small grain /-vTTir? tr 1 , . OUICK we maki p 1 <oks favorab e ~ lr. James HaTman of Lyles- dllCed DriCeS for F e, N. C.. is visiting his pa- H * ts. Mr. and Mrs. N. II. Mallo, of ihe Unity secliou. fl ^ 5 ?? shoes redll )ur friend Mr. J. H. Caskey ' | ^ shoes redU tuck on a merry widow in!l t section, fcnring chickens ! m 2.00 shoes redll plentiful, ... come again, ! , shoes re(]u le John. j J >v the way we liavean expert I ^*^5 shoes redll< m.U man who run- hi, ?. $ redu e, saws', bears oil lumber,; 1 n* logs and rolls sawdust and ; 4.OO pants I'edll ra JO logs a dav, but we think 1 , . could beat that it he .lid not j 2"5? Pants redu in so much time talking I .OO pants redll< he girls. New* Reader. | 1 5000 yards 7 12c Ging E 1 11 2000 yards yard wide i jjjMHHHMSURH 50 doz. 50, 65 and 75c I 'Wwl fw m 2 $ dozen 5?cents j?b V Kt** jm 25 dozen ladies' 25c v< gr p^l Goods, Linens, Ms T meet same fate. If 1/ omize get our pri u \ purchases. You of the 1 ' FECHON Funderburl Oil Cook-Stove i I' TOP, which Rives every irn steel range. Has an ample | . tea and keeping cooked food hot. ' ... r*\ r a ? small cooking utensils, and ! Woman OonfCSSCS tO otcalor towels. Made in three sizes, j ing Pair TrOUSCrS and >r without Cabinet Top. If not I rj our ,.e,re,t .Keu,-r. j Burning Barn. T -TU -i?a j*l givci p?rfsss 1 Kncxville. Tenn., M^v 5 ? J combuttioa According to ihe confesftioi. oi f,~from d^.r?bl.Uura L"t",h- ? y?'?>R wh?? ivenknt, ornamental?tk?idealHght woman einplo\e<I A* a dotQCStiC r'? address our nrarMt trmcy. rt ? . <daid oil company ia tno ,s*m,ly of 0. <) Kpowder, (iaiiijiiiiit) reading near 8-veet water, she HBBBONBflBMBHBk ?et? yo a barn am^/ie't Vod \ 7 RK PHARMACY Vgentfor S_ REMEDIES. je Shown by Lan ssive Druggist ik of Famous 3 Now on ndrbtirk Pharmacy, of tl?i? city, has beea y for the Payne Medicine <'o., of LexGreat Prescription, Andes' Great Oil, ill be received by the people of Lan* ^ significant of the enterprise and prods city, and there is but little doubt Justly celebrated remedies in other led, it' not rnrpassed, by the loca! corps of eo-workers accompany ing The > is now in r*partnaburg, came to Lanntered iuto negot iat ions with the Funointing the local house agents lor the fes' threat Pre.-cription, bave sold like bt inging about two or three others in i is its great merit, and a contract was .rented by Mr. Wright and the Kunderwhose life work is the promotion and ged to visit Lancaster while he was in iade engagements to go to" Charleston, I, he was forced to decline of remarkable cures which have beea Carolina as being due to Andes' Great exaggerated : They are e*?try one, and fly so. and if you suffer from catarrh le of any kind, liver, kid&y and bind < base Andes' Great Prescription from tored to good health. [ ' AYS?,' CE SALE " * some surplus stock e the following reifteen Days Only. 1 * ced to $ 3.98 ced to 2.98 ced to 1.48 ced to ^ 1.18 ced to :?8 ced to $ 3.75 ced to 3.00 ced to 1.98 ced to j .88 | hams 4 i-2c. Shirting 4 i-2c. , ^ Shirts cut to 39 cents. Shirts cut to 23 cents. > ists cut to 10 cents. ' \ Kite Goods, Wash idras, etc., all must you want to econces before making rc r#*c i u i uj) H k Comp'y. I I 41,500 w^rth of property. Sh* had stolen a uair of trouserx from the hoir ? containing $3.50 which > . had been found minus the money, and in order to gire her ?n opportunity to restore the mone^ she started the fire to dist' the attention of the family Wkw 7?a w~ mb4 it to *"