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VIEWPOINTS AMECOCK EDITORIAL BOARD Editor \ STEVEN VAN HAREN News Editor \ JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor j JACKIE ALEXANDER The Mix Editor \ ALEXIS ARNONE Design Director CHAS MCCARTHY Sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU AssistantViewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER Viewpoints Editor BRINDY McNAIR IN OUR OPINION Implosion represents step forwardfor USC At 8 ajn. Sunday, Carolina Plaza — USC’s former Visitor Center and hotel — will be blown to bits with 500 pounds of dynamite. Aside from likely being a grade-A 'fireworks display, the implosion at the corner of Assembly and Pendleton streets will signify the importance of looking ahead by clearing away the past. The new, improved USC | s slowly emerging, making way for the research beacon Innovista and the new Arnold School of Public Health. After months of skipping over the mind-numbing __» —_ Let’s not go crazy and pull down Melton Observatory to make way for a tiny research nook. ■L/uxiumg cam viucw wn Gamecock Cable channel 20, you’ll finally have a reason to watch. It will be a riveting few seconds. Kudos to those in charge for imploding a building that many of us have never been in and scarcely care about. It’s been an ugly — dare we say fugly — eyesore for quite a while. Columbia’s skyline should reflect that this is, actually, 11 college town — and that that college has much to ao ".vith the city’s identity. The University of Texas Tower stretches 30 stories into the Austin sky, according to UT’s Web site. When tourists point and ask questions, the answers always point to the university. We need that kind of instant recognition — maybe not with sheer height, but with a certain futuristic panache. Williams-Brice Stadium almost works; the Coker Life Sciences Building comes close. But it’s buildings such as the Strom — state-of-the-art facilities with a flair for the future — that will show passers-by we’re growing into a major educational powerhouse. Almost no one will be able to touch our undergraduate research program, and shiny new buildings must come with the territory. And there’s nothing wrong with older, historic ^buildings and our campus’ bucolic charm. Let’s not go "crazy and pull down Melton Observatory to make way for a tiny research nook. USC should — and almost always has — keep its eye on an ambitious future while remembering its humble past. IT’S YOUR RIGHT Voice your opinion on message boards at www.dailygamecock.com or send letters to the editor at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc. edu CORRECTIONS ^ If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know about Pt. E-mail us at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu ABOUT THE GAMECOCK tuutor STEVEN VAN HAREN Design Director chas McCarthy Copy Desk Chief AARON KIDD News Editor JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor JACKIE ALEXANDER Viewpoints Editor BRINDY McNAIR Assistant Viewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER The Mix Editor ALEXIS ARNONE Assistant Mix Editor ■ USTEN TRUESOALE sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU Assistant Sports Editor ALEX RILEY Photo Editor NICK ESARES Assistant Photo Editor KATY BLALOCK Page Designers MIKE CONWAY, KATE FENWICK, MEGAN SINCLAIR StajfWriters A.J. BEMBRY, TOM BENNING JESS DAVIS, TIM McMANUS, MARJORIE RIDDLE, GINA VASSELLI Copy Editors PATRICK MASTERSON, BETHANY NICHOLS, ELIZABETH PARHAM, KATIE THOMPSON, JAMISON TINS'tEY, KRYSTAL -JMCDDCD I 17 U/UITP CONTACT INFORMATION Offices located on the third floor ofthe Russell House Editor’s office hours are from 2-3 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays Editor: gamecockeditorQgum.sc.edu News: gamecocknewsQgwm.sc.edu Viewpoints: gamecockopinionsQgwm. sc. edu The Mix: gamecockfeaturesQgwm.sc.edu Sports: gamecocksportsQgwm.sc.edu Public Affairs: gamecockPRQyahoo.com Online: www.dailygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 ; Sports: 777-7182 Editor’s Office: 777-3914 STUDENT MEDIA Director SCOn LINDENBERG Faculty Adviser ERIK COUINS Creative Director SUSAN KING Business Manager CAROLYN GRIFFIN Advertising Manager SARAH SCARBOROUGH Classifieds Manager SHERRY F. HOLMES Production Manager c. neil scon i THE GAMECOCK is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in THE GAMECOCK are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher 0/THE GAMECOCK. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper’s parent organization. THE GAMECOCK is supported in part by student-activity fees. One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for Si each from the Department of Student Media. 3% UNION ^ K)wnn BOWNftW tutuvw*. -Yi? Courtesy KRT Campus Sarcasm: offensive form of communication? Don’t take everything literally — some irony makes things better Many things happen over the course of a week. There’s stuff like news, opinions, sports and people buying stuff. Most of it filters in through our minds. And then it filters out more quickly than an unwanted question in the president’s mind. Some stuff actually lodges in our brains, though. Perhaps you saw a gorgeous person. Perhaps you had an awesome workout session. Maybe some idiot behind you made a comment about hives being contracted from bees. I don’t know. And frankly, I don’t care, because what happened to me was a whole lot more funny. Now, let me give some background. Sarcasm is a form of irony used for comedic purposes. If I say, “Wow, that Democrat seems like he has good plans for the economy” you should know that I’m being bitterly sarcastic. After all, everyone knows Republicans and Democrats are as capable of governing as my non existent pet rabbit. Given this context, a phone call was made to The Gamecock about one of our articles. The sarcasm in this article was obvious and heavy. It was so heavy that I could barely lift my desktop to read it. Well, that was probably because desktops are heavy, but you see my point. Sometimes we column writers use humor, such as a pun or play on words, to convey a point. Is rap music like politics? No! Despite any of our columnist’s opinions, they’re totally different. One features violent, opinionated folk putting on a facade of strength to intimidate other people, and the other is rap music. So this comment (which cannot be printed because of its sheer stupidity) forced me into uncomfortable waters. The battle in my soul, the metaphysical divide of my heart, was ARROA BRRZIER Fourth-year philosophy student whether I hated or pitied the person. It was that stupid. The Apocalypse was canceled because, as Satan said, “It’s just not worth it right now.” It was the kind of comment that destroyed worlds. And this world destroying complaint was based on a misunderstanding of sarcasm. Not subtle sarcasm like the kind I get away with all the time (it’s cool having a southern/ English accent). I’m talking about hammer-in-the head sarcasm. The victim of this story is you — the common student. You got burned. Right now, someone out there hates all that is funny and intelligent and decent in the world. This person probably thinks Monty Python is bourgeoisie and “Chappelle’s Show” is tacky. We think terrorism is bad, but this nightmare strikes at the heart and soul of everyone in the world. Somebody has got to put a stop to the pain. But does anybody have the emotional strength to fight such immense crappiness? Buffoons aside, students want 'Real World9 Carolina Productions inhibited by policies, most popular choices I had planned for this week a column highlighting my gross domestic incompetence and my trials and tribulations as a young man attempting to successfully navigate a kitchen for the first time without the help of his mother. Alas, recent events have prompted me to ditch that column at the last minute and write this one instead. Monday’s staff editorial in The Gamecock was probably the best one I’ve seen as a student here. I am one of those people who has gone to see “Brokeback Mountain.” And, as of yet, I have not started propositioning every guy I see to leave his wife, hop in my truck and head off to the scenic and conveniently secluded hills of Wyoming. Wednesday morning, I cracked open The Gamecock to find yet another editorial that I’ve taken a special interest in. In case you weren’t aware, five members of “The Real World: Austin” cast were welcomed on campus last night by Carolina Productions for a lecture and Q&A session about their experiences on the show. The editorial points out — quite legitimately in my opinion — that “The Real World” stars carry about the same merit as lecturers that giraffes carry as convenient household pets. I was a member of the 10-student executive board that voted to bring this group to campus. Allow me to explain why we did. We were aiming to bring a recognizable personality to campus early in February. We actually considered A1 Franken, but that idea was quickly shot down simply because he doesn’t quite have enough sex appeal to attract the audience we were shooting for. We then considered former President Bill Clinton, but quickly CHASE STOUDCnmiRE Second-year history student dropped that idea upon realizing that he carries far too much sex appeal for our target audience. • We were stuck. Luckily, an idea we had looked into earlier in the year resurfaced at the perfect moment, inspiring us to decide on the “The Real World” — a petting zoo. How cool would it be if Carolina Productions could bring exotic creatures such as llamas, orangutans and penguins to tbe Russell House and give them free roam so that students could interact with them? Pretty frickin’ cool! Remembering how many rules and policies that would violate, we settled on the next best thing: “The Real World” cast. Equally novelistic, relatively animalistic behavior, yet potty-trained. Of course, I made all that up. But this I swear is true: MTV sucks. These shows, to a certain degree, make me lose all faith in humanity. Either way, year after year, people watch them. Students will continue to enjoy seeing them, and Carolina Productions will continue to justifiably bring them. Online Poll Do you think Porn Sunday and other pornography deference programs are necessary at USC? Total votes: 199 High-heeled shackers can - • forget grungy walk of shame Late-night study breaks don’t have to end with embarrassing trip home Imagine, if you will, a beautiful morning at USC — birds are chirping, leaf 1 1 uiuwcia die screaming and a girl . wearing high heels and last night’s makeup is sneaking back into her dorm. She’s an interesting specimen I like to call “The Shacker.” JOSEPH REESE Third-year fashion mer chandising student lhese ladies or the night are so concerned about their studies that they end up falling asleep at a classmate’s apartment. Just for the sake of fun we’ll go ahead and believe that story. What these shackers are doing the night before their walk home is not the root of my point. My concern is that these poor scholastic-driven girls are given a bad reputation. For example, if you pass a girl on the way to your 8 a.m. class who is wearing a very small skirt and even smaller tube top, you have to wonder if she really thinks she’s fooling anyone. She’s not. This is terribly unfair. Guys can go out at night and wear what they wore to class that day and just happen to “forget to change” the next day. There needs to be a change, some help for these poor girls in distress when they wake up and realize they have to go home in the same outfit as the night before. The university puts a lot of money into a lot of very useful things — like large maps to help those who are unfamiliar with campus find every female dorm within a two block radius — so why not put some into a fund for shackers? Sounds crazy, I know, but hear me out. What if, while getting a tour of our beautiful campus, a prospective student’s mother saw one of these ladies stumble up the steps to Moore dorm? I only have the university’s best interests in mind here, honestly. With a shaker fund we can do great things for these ladies who forget to bring their own shack-pack with them the night before. It would be like one of those glass cases with a hammer next to it that would read, “BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY SHACK.” Inside would be a bag full of items necessary to make the commute back home a pleasant one. There would be a hair-tie, makeup remover, a T-shirt with “I slept over in McBryde and all I got was this lousy shirt” printed on it — hey you aren’t getting out of it that easy — flip-flops and some soffe shorts. Granted, it’s not the most glamorous outfit in the world, but we’re low on funding as it is, and it’s a hell of a lot better than a twisted ankle and smeared makeup. Submission policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, profes sional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to game cockopinions@gwm.sc.edu. Let ters will be edited. Anonymous letters will not be published. Call the newsroom at 777-7726 for '