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•' *» This Week in USC History Feb. 14, 1983 — The Carolina Coliseum housed two lively concerts: singer Pat Benatar and the legendary country group Alabama. I Valentine’s Day comes but once a year, and in honor of this year’s holiday, Spotlight is celebrating the wonderful, joyous act of sex. Everybody does it... or something kinda close. So skip the candy, flowers and stuffed animals—grab The Gamecock, cozy up with your favorite partner, take this quiz and find out... How thrilling is your sex life? DIRECTIONS: Give yourself a point for each question you truthfully answer in the affirmative. Total possible points: 50. E-mail your score to gamecockspotlight@hotmail.com, and we’ll print the average USC student’s score in Friday’s edition. “I don’t mind where people make love, so long as they don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses ...” — Mrs. Patrick Campbell “Memory is like an orgasm — it’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.” — Seymour Gray HAVE YOU EVER: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than to live with that bitch/bastard for the rest of your life.” — D. C. Moore HAVE YOU EVER: _ Given or received oral sex in an automobile? _ Had sex in a building on campus that isn’t a dorm? _ Had sex on USC green space? _ Had sex on the State House grounds? _ Had sex underneath a Confederate flag? _ Had sex in dorm showers? _ Had sex while your roommate was in the room? _ Had sex while riding public transportation? _ Been caught having sex by a roommate or RA? _ Had sex with your socks on? _ Prematurely ejaculated? _ Faked an orgasm? - Faked an orgasm badly? - Participated in S&M? _ Swallowed someone else’s bodily fluids? _ Talked to your parents on the phone during sex? _ Had neighbors file noise complaints against you? _ Broken a limb during sex? S '■1 “ - '' ... “ |-1 I l_ “When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned: Do not have sex with the authorities.” — Matt Groening HAVE YOU EVER: _ Walked in on your parents having sex? _ Been the “other lover”? _ Had a one-night stand? _ Not known or remembered the name of your partner? - Called out someone else’s name during sex? - Done the “walk of shame”? _ Been propositioned outside Waffle House? _ Spontaneously orgasmed? Think this quiz is dirty? That’s because Iht (BamtCOCk is. Visit www.dailygamecock.com to see how some Gamecock staff members scored. “No one is more carnal than a recent virgin.” — John Steinbeck HAVE YOU EVER: _ Had cybersex? _ Been a stalker? _ Fantasized about a Gamecock staff member? - Streaked across part of campus? _ Been convicted of indecent exposure? - Been caught masturbating? _._ 0-5: You’re definitely lying about something. * 6-10: You’re a freak-in-training. ' ' 11 -20: You’re a freak, but within the legal limits. 21-30: You should be ashamed to look your mother in the eye' 31 or higher: You’re so damn dirty, you should run for political office. HAVE YOU EVER: _ Had sex with a USC athlete? _ Had sex with a mascot? _ Had sex with a wannabe rock star? _ Had sex with a professor or administrator? $ _ Had sex with a Student Government member? __ Had sex with your roommate? _ Had sex with a cow? What was the Clemson student’s major? _ Had sex with a minor? _ Been arrested for having sex with a minor? _ Talked on the phone to your gf/bf while receiving oral sex from another person? _ Hooked up with a Zipsheet guy? _ Had sex with a virgin? _ Had sex with a relative? _ Had your roommate make sexual advances toward you? _ Had sex with more than one person at a time? _ Had sex with a television or radio personality? _ Had sex with a married person? _ Slept with someone at least 10 years your senior? :o Valentine’s Day experience? COMPILED BY ZEINA MAKKY The Gamecock For. some people, Valentine’s Day isn’t all roses. There’s at least one holiday when you’ve sat alone ...or one occasion when your dale didn’t show ... or one time that the only flowers you got were from your dad. To celebrate Valentine’s Day for the romantically challenged, we’re, spotlighting some off the worst Valentine’s Day experiences of USC students. That gushy kind of love “[My date] spilled a glass of water [on my crotch],” says a student who refused to give his name or more details. — Anonymous Neither snow nor rain, nor heat nor gloom of night, stays these couriers, as long as she’s awake “It happened eight years ago. There was this girl called Susan that I was seeing casually. [That year) Valentine’s Day happened to be on a Sunday, and I was going out of town that weekend. So I had arranged to have flowers delivered for her.” Unfortunately, when he got back home, “there was no message on my answering machine from her to acknowledge that she had received the ‘How do you know love is gone? If you said that you would be there at 7, and you get there by 9, and he or she has not called the police, it’s gone.’ Marlene Dietrich actress and singer flowers... I spoke with her on the phone Monday and at no point in the conversation did the flowers come up. I was very nervous.” “1 finally got the courage to ask her [about them]. She said, ‘Oh, that’s what it w;is! Somebody knocked on the door, but I was too tired to get up and answer.’ She never got the flowers.” — David Hardee first-year College of Journalism and May Communications student Father knows best “He sent the gift through his cousin,” which turned out to be a teddy bear her boyfriend’s father had bought. . “So I told him to kiss my butt,” Briggs said. His excuse for not giving her the gift himself was, “I couldn’t find you.” “[That’s when] I gave him the finger,” she said. — Antionette Briggs second-yc;ir College of Journalism ;uid Mas Communications student Breaking up is hard to do “(My ex-boyfriend and I] had plans to go somewhere, but he never showed up. I was stood up.” “The next day, he called and said he had no money.” But in fact, he had spent the day with friends. “We broke up. I was very hurt because I didn’t think he could do something like that. You don’t need money to spend the day with someone who is special to you.” — Kanitra Clybum third-year School of Nursing student “Two years ago I had been dating this girl for five months, and she broke up with me a week before Valentine’s day. She decided to get back with her ex.” — Terry Peterson third-year .ichool of Business student