University of South Carolina Libraries
Gamecock Sports Singleton's top ten sports quotes of the 20th century S|H A WN Singleton Singleton 3:16 WARNING- this work ofhterature has been rated NC-17 by the National Organization for Women. It may contain foul lan guage, strong sexual content and slight sexism. Reader discre tion is advised. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. It is my pleasure to welcome, for the first time this century, the only man at USC who always paints towns red and women white, even if they’re black, Shawn Singleton.” (“Notorious” by Du ran Duran plays in the background.) Thank you, announcer girl, for replacing announcer boy while he is on his trip to New York. Now give me my money and bounce on a trampoline. (Audience erupts in laughter and applause). After a long, biff refreshing holiday, the 21st century fox has returned, more clever than ever, to give the good readers out there my take on the world of sports. With this being the turn of the century, I have seen a pletho ra of top 10 lists of things from the 20th century. Of course, it ain’t no fun unless the 3-1-6 gets some, so on that note, here are the top 10 greatest sports quotes of the 20th century. 10. Tve never shaken hands with a murderer before.’’ - An anonymous woman after getting O.J. Simpson’s auto graph. Hey, give her credit, at least she knew something about sports. 9. “Well, I guess sex is out of the question.” - Charles Barkley, at his retirement press conference. You’re right, Charles. No female groupies for you anymore. Why do you think women come to NBA games anyway? 8. “I ain’t got no quarrel with the Viet Cong. They never called me ‘rigger.’”- Muhammad Ali, when asked why he would not fight in Vietnam. In a social context, Ali might have been the greatest athlete in history, with Jackie Robinson and Jesse Owens fighting for second place. 7. “Women should be in the kitchen cooking and taking care of their babies.”- A blanket statement nonetheless, but this one is attributed to former Wimbledon champion and busi nessman Bobby Riggs in reference to Billie Jean King in a press conference the day before their classic “Battle of the Sexes” tennis match. Are you sure you were actually referring to Bil lie Jean King, Bobby? 6. “It was just a case of temporary insanity.” - Brandi Chas tain’s explanation for taking off her shirt after her game-win ning goal in last year’s Wbmen’s Wbrld Cup final. Jared Kelowitz was right; maybe they should all play topless. My Australian women’s soccer team calendar is in the mail as we speak, which means Brandi is in dire need of implants to compete with these girls. 5. “Imagine having to take the No.7 train to the ballpark, looking like you’re [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out ofjail far the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.” - By now, I don’t have to say who said this. All I will say is that’s At lanta for you. I call “B.S.” on the famous William Hartsfield quote that dubbed Atlanta as “the city too busy to hate.” Rocker should be out of the league, but this is the South, and you redneck Braves fans probably think otherwise. I think he was spotted at that Confederate flag rally last Saturday in Co lumbia. * , 4. “If that crazy offense works, I’ll take all the football I ever learned and throw it into the Pacific Ocean.” - Glenn “Pop” Warner, on Stafford coach Clark Shaugnessy’s T-formaiion. Shaugnessy later taught this offense to George Halas, and the Chicago Bears would go on to rule the NFL in the 1940’s. The T-formation is the ancestor of what is now the Wfest Coast of fense. 3. “Win one far the Gipper.”- Notre Dame legend Knute Rockne, in a pregame speech to his players before the 1927 Rose Bowl. George Gipp was an end for the Irish who died the night before the game, and the Norwegian-born Rockne used that as motivation for his players to win. 2. “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”- Lou Gehrig, during a tearful retirement speech on Ju ly 4,1939, ending his streak of 2,130 consecutive games and leaving him seven home runs short of 500 for his career. The streak began with Wally Pipp’s headache, allowing Gehrig to start at first base, and ended with amyotrophic later al sclerosis, the disease that now bears his name, and the one that took his life two years later at the age of 38. Before I unveil the number one greatest quote in sports history, 1 would like to say a couple of things. I chose this quote not because of the foul language or the shock value. The shock value lies in who said the quote. Now, without further delay, the No. 1 greatest quote in sports history is... 1. “I don’t really care too much for today’s NBA players. To me, they’re just a bunch of faking a**holes.”- Michael Jordan said this in describing that crybaby thug bitch Allen Iver son, and to be honest, he is exactly right. Iverson is everything that is wrong with sports in general, not just basketball. The NBA is nothing more than a bunch of overpaid thugs who would be doing a 20-to-life bid in prison if not for that bouncing leather ball. It is the least fan-friendly of all the pro fessional sports and the one in which you see the most prob lems. The NBA truly does stand for “Nothing But A**holes.” There you have it. Tune in next time, as we’ll see more girls on trampolines and I will attempt to drown myself. You should try this at home. Three Gamecock football players sign with Synergy Sports Sports Roundup Gamecock Sports Football Three USC football players have signed with Synergy Sports International, a full service sports management firm headquartered in Columbia. Linebackers John Abraham and Corey Atkins, who combined to lead the Southeastern Con ference in tackles in 1999, as well as All-American free safety Arturo Freeman recently signed contracts and will begin preparing for the NFL draft on April 15. “These athletes are clearly the top three pro prospects coming out of USC this year, and we’re thrilled they’ve signed with Synergy,” said Brantley Evans, CEO of Synergy Sports. “Now, we’re focusing all of their efforts on physical training in preparation for team tryouts.” Rated as one of the country’s best defensive players in 1999, Abraham, 6-foot-4, 250 pounds, dominated USC’s defense this season with 60 tackles, five for a loss, six sacks, one fumble recovery and five forced fumbles. The Ummonsville, S.C., native was chosen to play Jan. 22 in the Delchamps Senior Bowl in Mobile, Ala., foot ball’s premier pre-draft event featuring the country’s best senior collegiate football players and top NFL prospects. Freeman, also selected for the Senior Bowl, was one of USC’s top defensive players with 34 tackles, two broken up passes and two forced fumbles. The 6-foot-1,196 pound free safety from Orangeburg, S.C., was chosen as a Play boy All-American for his past two seasons. Greenville native Atkins, 6-foot-1,227 pounds, played Christmas Day in the Blue/Gray Bowl in Montgomery, Ala. This season, Atkins recorded one interception, two broken up passes, one fumble recovery and had 104 total tackles. Synergy Sports represents more than 25 collegiate and professional athletes and coaches, including Philadel phia Eagles running back Duce Staley, San Diego Charg ers running back Natrone Means, St. Louis Rams defensive back Dre Bly and Buffalo Bills cornerback Thomas Smith. The USC football program was recently rewarded as being the 13th-best program nationally in home football at tendance. However, longtime rival Clemson University has negated that claim, stating they’re ranked No. 13. USC compiled an 0-11 record while holding the na tion’s longest losing streak and were recognized by Street and Smith’s magazine as being No. 13. Clemson was ranked No. 16. But, the NCAA attendance figures show Clemson, who finished 6-6 after a 3-8 season in 1998, as No. 13 and USC as No. 14. One reason for the two different figures might be how attendance is computed. Both schools count the num ber of tickets sold as the official attendance, not the num ber of seats filled. Also, Clemson supposedly adjusts the capacity of Memorial Stadium after every home game. The University of Michigan finished first in both pub lications, averaging more than 100,000 fans at every home game. Freshman nose tackle Joe Don Jordan is planning to transfer from USC to a Division I-AA school instead of re joining the team this spring. Jordan wants to concentrate on academics and said football didn’t figure in his decision. Jordan joins T. J. Hines as the only two players not re turning to the team. Hines transferred to Florida A&M Uni versity earlier this year. Tennis The USC men’s and women’s tennis teams are both ranked in the preseason Top 25, according to the Intercol legiate Tennis Association. The men’s team is ranked No. 15, while the women’s team is No. 13. Carolina’s men’s singles are led by junior Guillame Legat, in 21st place. Also in the rankings are freshmen Robert Steckley, 31st, senior Jerome Jourdan, 37th, and senior Olof Akesson, 64th. Steckley made an impressive leap going from 98th to 31 st. The women’s doubles had two sets in the rankings. Sophomores Katarina Markovski and Jennifer Radman are in 14th place, while Leigh Eichelbetger and Lynn-Yin Tan are tied for 42nd place. On the singles side, the trio of sophomores resided in the Top 100. Markovski led the USC women in 25th place. Her doubles partner, Radman, made the biggest jump from 82nd to 48th place. The men’s team will play Jan. 21-24 at the SEC Indoor Championships in Alabama. The women’s team will be back in action Feb. 9 against Furman at the Sam Daniel Tennis Center. i 4 # Sign up in the Office of Campus Recreation 202 Blatt PE Center Call 777-5261 for more information www. sa. sc.edu/pecenter/im.htm Entries open Monday, January 10th Entries close Thursday, January 13th Entry fee $ 15/team Play starts on Tuesday, January 18th*