University of South Carolina Libraries
[Wednesday, February 3, 199 The real ] What if we could tell the dark tales behind the sunny pictures of the Horseshoe? ?Our proud oasis of beauty, the Horseshoe ganda?But columnist r of, beneath that glossy exterior, there is a rumbling. Literally Every recruitment brochure inevitably includes a photo of a professor conducting class on the Horseshoe. He stands framed by trees in front of a halfmoon of students seated in the grass. Thus inspired, one sunny day, my first semesters idealistic, romantic English class convinced my professor to relocate to the Horseshoe. It was not as easy as it looks. My poor professor was trying so hard to actually impart some wisdom about "My Fair Mistress," but his thoughtfiil words were drowned out by the roar of leaf blowers and lawn mowers. We shift ed to a few different Horseshoe locales, Columnist isn't fair to state To the Editor: I am writing this letter for two reasons: to denounce The Gamecock columnist Guerman Abaev and The Gamecock itself. The Gamecock should increase its standards for articles that make it to the press. Abaev's column on 1/25 contained nothing comparable to journalistic value. I will tell you what it did contain, and I will tell you from my unique perspective. My situation is unique because I am a militaiy brat transplant who was born in tne Miawest, wnose iamny is irom the North, and who was raised in the 1^ South ? Charleston, S.C., to be exact, and, by the way, the city which has been named "the most hospitable city in America" for the umpteenth year. Obviously, Guerman, it seems no one is hospitable to you because no one likes you. It is all veiy clear by the whimpering and whining that is your article. First off, you're an atheist. Being a Catholic in the Bible Belt, Southern Baptist traditions wear on me sometimes, but obviously being an atheist is not going to get you anywhere anytime fast. The mystery of faith is the greatest virtue God has bestowed upon us. Where I was reading your column, I thought maybe it was because you are a Russian expatriate and communism hindered your ability to believe in God. mmm lively class discussion but a gardeningequipment-inspired shouting match. The brochure would be time-sensitive so they could check the changes in noise at various times of the day. This way, they could share with Horseshoe residents the joys of waking at 7 a.m. to the grating groans of the yearround gardening equipment. The interactive brochure could include the other Horseshoe perks the university is currently unable to ad vertise. Like scratch V sniiF feces. Lady Carolina and her canine pals often leave such gifts. Although nary a lovely leaf is allowed to he on the Horseshoe, dog waste can sit there as long as it likes. Submissions fo 333. or call 77 ^jersjrmstjnducte 9 brochure but it was impossible to avoid the omnipresent cacophony of equipment. Dr. Shifflett's explanations were cut off mid-sentence eveiy time one of these machines passed, which was about every 23 seconds. In those brief moments when the machinery was not clamoring beside him, he would shout fleeting bits of wisdom over the dull roar in the background. That was the last time I had a class on the Horseshoe. What if we sent prospective students an interactive brochure, one not just of pictures but through which they could experience the Horseshoe with all their senses? So they could press a little button beside the photo of the grinning class basking in the Horseshoe's sunshine and discover it is not a The G for the H But while excrement is tolerated, bikes locked in front of buildings and "inappropriate" furniture placed on Horseshoe back porches are not. And here is where we begin to discover that living in the centerfold of the university's recruitment brochures is not all it's cracked up to be. The new Horseshoe brochure would include photos of the Horseshoe buildings with bikes parked in front of them, currently a forbidden arrange ment. The captions would read, "Although these bikes are not historical, they are quite useful for getting around campus. They are sometimes locked in front of a building so a student can make a quick stop. Amazingly, people still enjoy the Horseshoe." Along with the machinery sound button, the new interactive brochure would include the voice of a housing official: "See how beautiful and pristine these buildings are? They are historic! And you know what that means, boys and girls? That's right, leave your inflatable chairs at home." It's unlikely that extra chairs would fit inside your wee apartment, and their occupancy on your porch is forbidden. Housing bans the presence of anything other than tasteful outdoor furniture on your porch. A Horseshoe area adviser told me this rule was made to try to keep up the historic Horseshoe's image, but he also verified that its phrasing does mean >r columns are welcome from all members of the Carolina G 7-7726. The Gamecock will try to print all letters. Letters should be 25 the author's telephone number. The Gamecock reserves the right to edil But you do not believe in that, either. All you believe in is yourself. And that is not much. It is not hard to conclude that-you are a pitiful Russian excuse for a man who has been burned by one too many Southern belles. If I had not mistaken you for a coward, I would have taken your column to be a suicide note. Your "difficulties" in trying to assimilate to the Southern-American culture have failed because you believe they have failed. It is psychological. So if you do not like the South, you can get the hell out! And if vou do not like South Car olina, the best damn state in the Union , because of her assertion of her constitutionally-given rights, you can go back i to your ex-serfdom, ex-communist, capitalist-failing, hedonistic wasteland of amecock orseshoe plastic furniture might be OK, but antique living room sets would not be. Leave the antique furniture at home, but not your earplugs. Yes, there are more sound buttons in our interactive brochure. One will blare cheesy rendi tions of "YMUA," "Boot-Scootin boogie" and "Going to the Chapel" so loudly that the band seems to be playing in the room. The brochure will encourage making plans for Saturday evenings to avoid the music blaring from the wedding receptions that occur nearly every weekend outside of the Faculty House. Dueling receptions on the other side of the Horseshoe ensue at the President's House. The interactive brochure would include a re-enactment of the president's violation of fall exam period's mandated quiet hours. The re-enactment would have a split screen of the gleeful Oktoberfest-like happenings at the pres ident s mansion next to tne woerui student trying to tune out the oom-pah-pah and time in the studying. But the student can't really complain. She signed a housing contract permitting endless Horseshoe receptions. If only the contract had resembled our new interactive brochure, perhaps she would have known what she was getting into. immunity. They must be between 650 and 750 words in length. 0-300 words and must indude full name, phone number, professional title or 1 all letter for style, libel or space. Names will never be withheld. have-nots and never-have-beens ? Mother Russia. : < Nathan A, White ! Political Science Sophomore < Reader defends 'Dixie,' flag ! To the Editor; i Shocked, appalled and disgusted, i These are the only words that come I close to describing my reaction to the i Wednesday, Jan. %7, editorial about the flag controversy coming to The Citadel. 1 Yes, the Confederate battle flag and \ "Dixie" are very volatile issues in this j state, but in no way should these terms be at all associated with Nazism and < "Deutschland Uber Alles." l IU N 1 V 1 SOUIT I But rem* GUARANTEE! you dor Questions? or e-rna^ IMPEACHMB 1&H999 and guest columnists can only be printed twice a semes year and major if a student. Handwritten letters mast be personally The Citadel has a proud tradition ind a rich history. On Jan. 9, 1861, :adets under command of Major P. F. Stevens opened fire on a Union vessel called the Star of The West. It was a ship trying to bring supplies to Fort Sumter. These cadets fought for their ivelihood, not slavery. They didn't even )wn slaves. The Confederate battle flag, one of many Confederate flags, has been etched in our minds as racist and oppressive aecause of its misuse by stupid, ignorant groups, such as the Ku Klux Klan. If you are infuriated at the sight of die flag or the playing of "Dixie," then they have already accomplished their iob. One can't simply ignore history because it doesn't fit their ideals or isn't politically correct. Slavery was a dark T- ; t smber, you can't b D your top room cl i't wear the button department of Hous a\ housing @gwm.Sc Page 5 MT FARApE | i e i ? * ler. Please deliver all submissions lo Russell House room delivered by (he author lo the Russell House loom 333- E-mail letage in our history, but was in no way, shape or form meant to eradicate from the earth a whole entire race of people. Native Americans were first enslaved, but then the focus shifted to Africa, and then to other places around the world. Do not ignore this past history; instead, use it as a springboard to maKe sure me same mistake is iievei made again. We are all Americans, and our history is as unique as the people that inhabit this great land. As for me, I say let The Citadel honor its heritage because if that right is takerv away, so is your freedom. Dave Segers History Junior >e I I ' af 777-4283 30 y***'/ ^0 F