The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 03, 1999, Page Page 5, Image 5
[Wednesday, February 3, 199
The real ]
What if we could tell the dark
tales behind the sunny pictures
of the Horseshoe?
?Our proud
oasis of
beauty, the
Horseshoe
ganda?But
columnist r of,
beneath
that glossy
exterior, there is a rumbling. Literally
Every recruitment brochure inevitably
includes a photo of a professor
conducting class on the Horseshoe. He
stands framed by trees in front of a halfmoon
of students seated in the grass.
Thus inspired, one sunny day, my first
semesters idealistic, romantic English
class convinced my professor to relocate
to the Horseshoe.
It was not as easy as it looks. My
poor professor was trying so hard to actually
impart some wisdom about
"My Fair Mistress," but his thoughtfiil
words were drowned out by the roar of
leaf blowers and lawn mowers. We shift
ed to a few different Horseshoe locales,
Columnist isn't
fair to state
To the Editor:
I am writing this letter for two reasons:
to denounce The Gamecock columnist
Guerman Abaev and The Gamecock
itself. The Gamecock should
increase its standards for articles
that make it to the press.
Abaev's column on 1/25 contained
nothing comparable to journalistic value.
I will tell you what it did contain,
and I will tell you from my unique perspective.
My situation is unique because I am
a militaiy brat transplant who was born
in tne Miawest, wnose iamny is irom
the North, and who was raised in the
1^
South ? Charleston, S.C., to be exact,
and, by the way, the city which has been
named "the most hospitable city in
America" for the umpteenth year.
Obviously, Guerman, it seems no
one is hospitable to you because no one
likes you. It is all veiy clear by the whimpering
and whining that is your article.
First off, you're an atheist. Being
a Catholic in the Bible Belt, Southern
Baptist traditions wear on me sometimes,
but obviously being an atheist
is not going to get you anywhere anytime
fast. The mystery of faith is the
greatest virtue God has bestowed upon
us.
Where I was reading your column,
I thought maybe it was because you are
a Russian expatriate and communism
hindered your ability to believe in God.
mmm
lively class discussion but a gardeningequipment-inspired
shouting match.
The brochure would be time-sensitive
so they could check the changes
in noise at various times of the day.
This way, they could share with Horseshoe
residents the joys of waking at 7
a.m. to the grating groans of the yearround
gardening equipment.
The interactive brochure could include
the other Horseshoe perks the
university is currently unable to ad
vertise. Like scratch V sniiF feces. Lady
Carolina and her canine pals often
leave such gifts. Although nary a
lovely leaf is allowed to he on the Horseshoe,
dog waste can sit there as long as
it likes.
Submissions fo
333. or call 77
^jersjrmstjnducte
9
brochure
but it was impossible to avoid the omnipresent
cacophony of equipment.
Dr. Shifflett's explanations were cut
off mid-sentence eveiy time one of these
machines passed, which was about every
23 seconds. In those brief moments
when the machinery was not clamoring
beside him, he would shout fleeting
bits of wisdom over the dull roar in
the background.
That was the last time I had a class
on the Horseshoe.
What if we sent prospective students
an interactive brochure, one not
just of pictures but through which they
could experience the Horseshoe with
all their senses? So they could press
a little button beside the photo of the
grinning class basking in the Horseshoe's
sunshine and discover it is not a
The G
for the H
But while excrement is tolerated,
bikes locked in front of buildings and
"inappropriate" furniture placed on
Horseshoe back porches are not. And
here is where we begin to discover that
living in the centerfold of the university's
recruitment brochures is not all it's
cracked up to be.
The new Horseshoe brochure would
include photos of the Horseshoe
buildings with bikes parked in front of
them, currently a forbidden arrange
ment. The captions would read, "Although
these bikes are not historical,
they are quite useful for getting around
campus. They are sometimes locked in
front of a building so a student can make
a quick stop. Amazingly, people still enjoy
the Horseshoe."
Along with the machinery sound
button, the new interactive brochure
would include the voice of a housing official:
"See how beautiful and pristine
these buildings are? They are historic!
And you know what that means, boys
and girls? That's right, leave your inflatable
chairs at home."
It's unlikely that extra chairs would
fit inside your wee apartment, and their
occupancy on your porch is forbidden.
Housing bans the presence of anything
other than tasteful outdoor furniture
on your porch.
A Horseshoe area adviser told me
this rule was made to try to keep up
the historic Horseshoe's image, but he
also verified that its phrasing does mean
>r columns are welcome from all members of the Carolina G
7-7726. The Gamecock will try to print all letters. Letters should be 25
the author's telephone number. The Gamecock reserves the right to edil
But you do not believe in that, either.
All you believe in is yourself. And
that is not much.
It is not hard to conclude that-you
are a pitiful Russian excuse for a man
who has been burned by one too many
Southern belles. If I had not mistaken
you for a coward, I would have taken
your column to be a suicide note.
Your "difficulties" in trying to assimilate
to the Southern-American culture
have failed because you believe
they have failed. It is psychological.
So if you do not like the South,
you can get the hell out!
And if vou do not like South Car
olina, the best damn state in the Union
, because of her assertion of her constitutionally-given
rights, you can go back
i to your ex-serfdom, ex-communist, capitalist-failing,
hedonistic wasteland of
amecock
orseshoe
plastic furniture might be OK, but
antique living room sets would not be.
Leave the antique furniture at home,
but not your earplugs. Yes, there are
more sound buttons in our interactive
brochure. One will blare cheesy rendi
tions of "YMUA," "Boot-Scootin boogie"
and "Going to the Chapel" so loudly
that the band seems to be playing in
the room.
The brochure will encourage making
plans for Saturday evenings to avoid
the music blaring from the wedding receptions
that occur nearly every weekend
outside of the Faculty House. Dueling
receptions on the other side of the
Horseshoe ensue at the President's
House.
The interactive brochure would include
a re-enactment of the president's
violation of fall exam period's mandated
quiet hours. The re-enactment would
have a split screen of the gleeful Oktoberfest-like
happenings at the pres
ident s mansion next to tne woerui student
trying to tune out the oom-pah-pah
and time in the studying.
But the student can't really complain.
She signed a housing contract
permitting endless Horseshoe receptions.
If only the contract had resembled
our new interactive brochure, perhaps
she would have known what she
was getting into.
immunity. They must be between 650 and 750 words in length.
0-300 words and must indude full name, phone number, professional title or
1 all letter for style, libel or space. Names will never be withheld.
have-nots and never-have-beens ?
Mother Russia. :
<
Nathan A, White !
Political Science Sophomore <
Reader defends
'Dixie,' flag !
To the Editor; i
Shocked, appalled and disgusted, i
These are the only words that come I
close to describing my reaction to the i
Wednesday, Jan. %7, editorial about the
flag controversy coming to The Citadel. 1
Yes, the Confederate battle flag and \
"Dixie" are very volatile issues in this j
state, but in no way should these terms
be at all associated with Nazism and <
"Deutschland Uber Alles." l
IU N 1 V 1
SOUIT
I But rem*
GUARANTEE!
you dor
Questions?
or e-rna^
IMPEACHMB
1&H999
and guest columnists can only be printed twice a semes
year and major if a student. Handwritten letters mast be personally
The Citadel has a proud tradition
ind a rich history. On Jan. 9, 1861,
:adets under command of Major P. F.
Stevens opened fire on a Union vessel
called the Star of The West. It was a
ship trying to bring supplies to Fort
Sumter. These cadets fought for their
ivelihood, not slavery. They didn't even
)wn slaves.
The Confederate battle flag, one of
many Confederate flags, has been etched
in our minds as racist and oppressive
aecause of its misuse by stupid, ignorant
groups, such as the Ku Klux Klan.
If you are infuriated at the sight of
die flag or the playing of "Dixie," then
they have already accomplished their
iob.
One can't simply ignore history because
it doesn't fit their ideals or isn't
politically correct. Slavery was a dark
T- ; t
smber, you can't b
D your top room cl
i't wear the button
department of Hous
a\ housing @gwm.Sc
Page 5
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ler. Please deliver all submissions lo Russell House room
delivered by (he author lo the Russell House loom 333- E-mail letage
in our history, but was in no way,
shape or form meant to eradicate from
the earth a whole entire race of people.
Native Americans were first enslaved,
but then the focus shifted to
Africa, and then to other places around
the world. Do not ignore this past history;
instead, use it as a springboard to
maKe sure me same mistake is iievei
made again.
We are all Americans, and our
history is as unique as the people that
inhabit this great land. As for me, I say
let The Citadel honor its heritage because
if that right is takerv away, so is
your freedom.
Dave Segers
History Junior
>e I
I
' af 777-4283
30 y***'/
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