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1 Thursday, October 12, 1995 ^XSaiflcock Serving (JSC Since 1908 WflnHu HnHcnn Fditnr in Oiie.f Matt Pniitt Viewnoints Editor Editorial Board Lucy Arnold, Jamie Clark, Gregory Perez, Stephanie Sonnenfeld, Allison Williams, Larry Williams, Ryan Wilson, Chris Winston Bridge closing raises questions about future Those of you who live at Bates, frequent the P.E. center, or use the athletic fields have noticed a slight inconvenience over the past month or so. A portion of the bridge running from the Russell House to Bates has been blocked off due to construction on the new parking facility on Blossom Street. The closing of the bridge forces students to walk through McBryde Quad to reach the middle portions of the bridge. Granted, the portion of the bridge that is blocked off is not excep tionally large. Granted, walking through the quad isn't incredibly time consuming in comparison to walking along the bridge. However, a few disturbing questions do arise from this incident. Most importantly, is this the type of inconvenience that we are to expect over the next five years? The heat is on to complete the projects outlined in the Master Plan, and it appears that the university is going to pull out all the stops to reach their goal. This apparently includes sacrificing student conveniences and welfare in order to complete projects. What's more, did you know that the Blossom Street garage is ultimately going to be used for more faculty parking? Most don't. The university has shrouded that fact. Why is our parking being moved to the extremities of campus while faculty parking is placed dead in the center? And the students are supposed to be the important ones, right? Summertonians need +r\ rt\\rci r\r\Cf l^ccrvnc IW ^living Man, I've had it. I have finally gone off my rocker, folks. This traf- DREW STEWART fic problem in Columbia has me go- Columnist ing crazy. Is it so hard to at least attempt I also hate the traffic lights of Coto travel above ten miles an hour lumbia. Nations have risen and felldown Huger Street? Is it that diffi- en jn jess time than I spent at the cult to drive with the flow of traffic light, at Assembly and Blossom Streets, so I won't have to wait until I'm dy- The first time I tried to go through, ing of old age before I get home? j wag worried I would be late for class. In Summerton (pop. 975), we don t By the time I did get through, I was have that kind of problem. That s be- wondering if I could still make gradcause Summertonians practically uatfen. wrote the book on how to drive. Now here's one thing that missed Summerton's driving techniques the South that Yankees ire more are not hard to master by any means, than welcome to have to themselves: For instance, when you are confronted toll booths by a deer in the road, do you The day toll roads show up in 10 South Carolina is the day I pack up, CLL nn LUOUJ ,,, . . ., give my Keys to me Iamcees ana say, (b) swerve out of the way, hoping the Hereyougo. Tall can have it." deer will turn and run the other way r / ... ,,, .. , , i j , i They once entertained the notion (c) keep going, hit the deer, and take f , n v.u 11 r- j of putting them in Clarendon Counhim home to show all your friends. . A/r jo ^ , j The answer depends on the sit- ^ ^ Summerton voted nation. If you are in a Memedrs-Benz, "ot to 5? one;*>"' Ae R^m fotoBMW or one of those wimpy cam like ^ln|Jbe revohitionar.es they are a Geo Stonn the answer is (a). If yon decided 10 P"'?ne "J ??1)6 R"nnn are in any American car, the answer ^d^ay (the road between Sum(b) because yon never know what mG. .n an , , , your brakes are gonna do. If yon have . ?lasted atout three days nntd a pre-1975 automobile, a pickup with f?lks noticed that the moonshine roll bars, or a four-wheeler and if you trade ui Rimini had taken a sharp have had a bad hunting season, the nosedive The Rimmians then deanswer is, or course, (c). cided just to burn it down and forget We also have different interpre- a1""1 ll (same 88 we 4d mthout Yan' tations of traffic laws. For instance, ^ee Suggestion Box in downtown the speed limit is the speed one trav- Summerton, but all tnat was mere els when there is a patrolman near ^or was c?Hect paper to line our by, otherwise, it means how fast you ^og P6118 with anyway), vehicle can go. But, how, Mr. Stewart, do you All of these Columbia folks don't plan to remedy the situation? Well, know driving from riding a skate- first off; I think the state exam should board. Whoever heard of stopping be written by a group of Summertofor a yellow light. Heck, where I come nians, consultants from the driving from, a yellow light, is a signal for you team of The Dukes of Hazzard, and to test how quickly your car go from all of the NASCAR drivers. Then for 35 to 60 before the light turns red. every traffic violation, punishment And what's this about Yield. A would be setting the violator's car yield sign where I come from serves radio on a state supported all-Menudo the same purpose as the green flag station for a certain time, at a stock car race. The winner gets I'll see j^all next Thursday, unthe satisfaction of knowing his car is less you see a blue flash going about the superior vehicle, while the loser 80 miles an hour down Gervais rundoesn't get to where he's going as fast ning all of the yellow lights. Then as he wants to. you'll know it's me. write now Reader responses are welcome. delivered personally to The Letters should be between 200 Gamecock, Room 333 of the and 250 words and should be Russell House ?T FSmHlrnrb News: 777-7725 ""SSLEr* \i3onitUJLR Advertising: 777-4249 Ryan Sims FAX: 777-6482 Online Editor Student Media Russell House-USO Columbia, SC 29208 r,Chrisf cC?rrul! Director of Student Media i*/?j.. i i nr?f a rnniH i Martha Hotnn Laura Day TTCIIUJ liuuawil I i ?? ?.v?? ? r Editor in Chief Stephanie Cece von Kolnitz Creative Director Matt Pruitt Sonnenfeld Asst. News Jeff A. Breaux Viewpoints Editor Features Editors gen pj||ow Art Director Chris Winston Ke,th Boudreaux Chris Dixon Marilyn Edwards Copy Desk Chief Circulation Manager Asst. Features Taylor Allison Williams ^'arK Robbie Meek Marketing Director News Editor Ethan'' Mverson Asst Sports Erik Collins Larry Williams ^ Jason Jeffers Faculty Advisor Ryan Wilson Robert'Walton Cartoonist Sports Editors Asst Photo Editor Letters Policy The Gamecock is the student newspaper of the University of The Gamecock will try to print all letters received. South Carolina and is published Monday through Friday dur- Letters should be 200-250 words and must include full ing the fall and spring semesters, with the exception of univer- f?- , . ;f ,... , sity holidays and exaAt periods. name' Professlonal ",le or year and maJor <f a studenl Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors must ** Pe^onally delivered by the author to or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. * Gamecock newsroom in Russell House room 333. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the The Gamecock reserves the right to edit all letters for publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media sty)ei possible libel or space limitations. Names will nol is its parent organization. ^ wjtbheld under any circumstances'. VTEWP THt VEWit f ^ ( PL \ VO1 yi yi 6101 Biol * rj $om <\ ^ \ ^ / ^JO , HjW a w QUOTE, UNQUOTE "We had originally h Ed Bas3, assistant dii Traum prese Note: This is the first in a multi-part series. See future issues for continuance. Everyone has had relationships, some good, some bad. Some relationships can control, direct and often manipulate 1 every aspect of our lives, sometimes ben- i eficially and sometimes detrimentally. Since we spend much of our lives around others, many relationships are friendship-oriented or job-related. As TTTrt mAnl1 m /?1QOO_ tuucgc siuuc11u9, yvc iiiccb pcypxc ux uuxr es, in social settings and/or bars. Of course, some relationships are purely sexual; hence, the "one night stand," the critical tradition that always ends with the "walk of shame," or, some would boast, the "walk of fame." Nevertheless, relationships are exceedingly important for human growth. So much so that many current authors are explaining gender differences in rather simplistic terms, thus attempting to assure us that relationships can flourish in a healthy and non-threatening manner. In fact, some books have reached such popularity that they appear atop the best-seller lists. Although you may agree or disagree with the methodology of such dispersive tactics of some "helping relationship methods," I have compiled my own research and have concluded the following: romantic relationships have specific stages of development. As well, relationships can be successful, but only under certain guidelines. In this article, I explain Traum's Theory of Romantic Relationships. Simplistically, how to recognize, achieve and end a romantic relationship through the understanding of how a relationship works. There are three distinctive stages: ? i Smokers, tak( I chew gum, but when I can't I enjoy pure smoking satisfaction. This is a habit I picked up about six years ago due to subliminal advertisements directed specifically at adolescents and other people with little or no rational thought. This may come as a shock, but it has recently come to my attention that - get this - smoking is bad for you. (I have also leaned that water is wet and the earth is round.) I feel rather silly for not having realized this before, especially since packs of cigarettes have warnings clearly emblazoned on them. They quote famous people like the Surgeon General as saying, "Smoking may cause pregnancy, give you a desire to operate heavy machinery, and is overall pretty cool." Honestly, I have known smoking is unhealthy since I started and I have tried several times and several methods to quit. None of these have been terribly effective, as evidenced by my continuing to smoke. However, some people claim that these methods can be and have been very effective, and therefore warrant sufficient discussion and analysis. The first and most common method is usually referred to as the 'cold turkey method. There are a couple of theories as to why it is called this. _l Most people think that it is a refer PENT? Pies ano ^eNTLgvwe A^?(vic Seie^'s 11 To MA?<g A fOtt*' ofii A M?*CY KU oped to have it open by Oct. prevented us frc rector of facilities management for :nts original KEN TRAUM Columnist the superficial stage, the adjustment stage and the desistance stage. The acronym SAD is helpful and also ironic. As with all theories, there is much need for improvement. However, this theory is an attempt to make relationships more sound and less threatening. The word "commitment" comes to mind. The flexibility for heterosexual, as well as homosexual, relationships makes this theory extremely noteworthy and credible. The superficial stage is the first stage *vf nil M/vlnf-mnakina ATnnfmrr onmoKAriu U1 Oil 1 Ciauuiioxiipo. m^cvuig oviiAvuuuj unfamiliar is the most influential criteria for the beginning of this stage. As mentioned, meeting somebody new depends on where, how and under what specific circumstances allow for the initial encounter. The stage is marked by shallow and feeble, yet creative and exciting, attempts to establish either verbal or nonverbal conversation. We can approach someone and use highly ineffective one-liners or we can just stare in hopes of receiving the impulsive, but all material, eye contact. Although these inventive methods do not always work and often embarrass us, they can create a sense of emotion which is both pleasing and stimulating. This explains why we continue our efforts even though we're ignored and laughed at. However, there is more specificity and structure needed in some instances. I call this the three-step rule. This means ? up new mo I ^ 1 DAVID HARTMAN Guest Columnist ence to the increased appetite of the poor fool trying to quit smoking. This person will have a constant desire to raid the fridge, which, of course, eveiy red-blooded American keeps stocked with plenty of cold turkey. Hence the name the 'cold turkey method. There is, however, another faction who believes that this name comes form an old Canadian custom of hitting smokers in the head with a frozen turkey if they reliise to extinguish their cigarette. Example: Nice Canadian lady: "Excuse me, would you mind putting that out?" Smoker: "Step off, eh." Loud smashing noise. In any case, the 'cold turkey' method is when the smoker simply stops smoking. As simple as it sounds, it isn't. I compare a smoker who puts out his cigarette and says "There, I quit," to the overweight person who puts down his sandwich and says "There, I'm thin." There are many nicotine withdrawal symptoms to look for as either a smoker or a friend of a smoker who is trying to quit. First, that person will be very hungry, very often. He or she will also > c 0^/L CAS( A rJ, i an\ >Sid \ r: THIS ) .ifHG! ./ 1/^^ I 1, but some unforeseen cond >m proceeding." construction, on the delayed openi theory on r< that successful relationships need timing, trust and spontaneity. For all partners involved, timing is imperative and crucial. For example, if I had recently broken up with a partner in which our relationship lasted four years, the likelihood that I would immediately seek another long-term commitment is doubtful. In other words, like physical healing, emotional healing takes time, and after a four-year obligation, I would not instantly redirect my intentions for instigating a new commitment. The people who make this fatal error are only on the rebound and are fooling themselves out of the necessary grieving process. Moreover, trusting that some one is telling the truth regarding their past baggage (past relationships, sexual partners or mental disorders) is difficult. Thus, learning to trust somebody during the superficial stage is laborious but mandatory. Ibis assumes that achieving absolute honesty is a priority between partners. Defining what trust actually means depends on the relationship; more specifically, how, what and by whom the relationship is directed toward. Most of the time, trust means complete assurance and certainty about the character, ability, strength or truth about someone or something. Nevertheless, trust is not a tangible thing. You can't just reach out and grab it. Thus trust is illusory and must be earned during the development and maturation of the relationship. Since the superficial stage doesn't permit long-term duration of maturation, trust can only be used loosely. But i-j ? ~ 1? ? J 1 ' no: nouuuy u be very listless. As usually happens, stuffing your face and sitting on your butt can lead to weight gain, and you can expect to see an additional 10-300 pounds jump onto your body. In addition, the smoker will be EXTREMELY irritable for approximately six to eight years. For the first few days I would avoid this person, and under no circumstances would I make this person angry. Bad things have been known to happen. Example: Any Moron: "Could I bum a cigarette?" Loud smashing noise. Another method of kicking the habit is taking up smokeless tobacco. Now I can certainly see how smokeless tobacco is better for your lungs, but the nico tine addiction is still present and the risk of mouth and throat cancer are increased. So, instead of cutting myself with a razor blade I'll just use a steak knife. In other words, it just doesn't make sense. Which brings us to the patch. The patch is designed to wean you body off of nicotine while saving your lungs from harmful smoke; however, what is intended and what actually happens are often two very different things. Some people continue to smoke while wearing the patch, making that person s eotv wove... V t I I V ?p % . & ? 5 vb \u ? \a i itions in the plans ng of the crosswalk dationships I would recommend to all partners who are involved to establish a criteria through which trust is understood. Setting guidelines that are suitable, yet individually accessible and agreeable, about dating, seeing or being sexually active with anyone else is highly recommended and can only build trust, not employ skepticism.The most important and well-liked characteristic of the three-step rule is spontaneity. Everyone enjoys acting on impulse; therefore, any actions, events or opportunities that allow for unplanned creativity is advisable. In a social context, if we meet our partner unexpectedly, we can feel comfortable, available and under no obligation for further conversation or night ly commitment. We might feel fortunate that someone we're involved with is neai and watching. This temporarily satis fies our need for security. However, because we haven't reachec a level of concerned awareness (watch ing and listening to your partners ac tions and language to the extent of car ing and formative content analysis), anj jealous action taken by the other doesri matter to us. In fact, some people just ignore thei partner altogether and subtly expres internal lust just because the involve is acting interested. This is a clear ex ample of playing the game and can b considered romantic but unhealthy When you eventually experience j feeling, emotion belief or behavior tha warrants concerned awareness and fe< it necessary to communicate with you partner about those feelings, then you'v reached the second stage, the adjust ment stage. (To be continued tomorrou kes a quitter violently ill, and possibly dead. Mo intelligent people take off their pate smoke a cigarette, then reapply the pate Others find it terribly difficult to ke< the end of the patch lit. Other marketable methods inclu< hypnosis, wherein you subconcious cluck like a chicken every time you wa to smoke; smokeless cigarettes, whii need no explanation to explain their f tility; and the frozen-turkey metho which involves ordering a pre-froz< turkey from Canada. There is another method, very po ular among college students, which, theory, weans you from cigarettes. I called the I-only-smoke-when-I-drii method. I know several people who we driven to alcoholism by their refusal break this rule. In fact, I rarely smoke unless I' drinking; however, I drink like I vot early and often. You can probably s the weaknesses in this method witho my pointing them out. If it weren't so enjoyable then qu ting smoking wouldn't be so hard. Ma Twain once said, "Quitting smoking easy. I've done it thousands of time I have, too. Maybe one day I'll get the motivation to quit, but hey, nobo likes a quitter.