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4 ?l5a Serving U Lee Clontz, Editor in Chief < Editor Erin Galloway, Wendy Hudson, Jimmy DeButts, Ryan Wilson, C Many peoj to pull off < A lot of people will sigh a long dent Government run-off electic to a close. It's a tough time for many pec gle, bite and flail each other; El< less complaints, whines and moa ble for yet another story, editori The candidates have reason i to try to get their names, their i students in hope that they'll vo and they've printed signs, writt classes to get that vote. The Elections Commission is s ably never want to see another cs heard complaints on everything nist plots to overthrow Student dictatorship. They've spent all n voting volunteers around to bui hauled giant metal boxes full of This newspaper has tried to t out inadvertently making one c Two columnists haven't written a campaign or wanted to write c paper decided, in the interests o rials dealing with elections. On the news side, reporters \ even coverage has gone to all th nervous about pictures with car date so-and-so's sign isn't in tt (Freakers! Is he endorsing a ca Didn't you get a quote from th dilemma, a lot of work, a pain ii It all comes down to today's general elections increased a lit body voted. ItH take more wor runoffs. It's time for the voters 1 If he's my why did ht Dogs have always been a part of the American way of life. From the old lazy dog that sits on your front porch and only moves when he sees another dog doing his business on the telephone pole in front of your yard to the dogs with such wild names as "Serendipity of the Morning Chrysanthemums of July 7,1975" who do nothing but let a bunch of old ladies who pinched your cheeks when you were four years old judge them, dogs are an integral part of the American lifestyle. For an animal that, in some cases, has achieved near-human status (heck, they want one to testify in the O.J. Simpson case, I a Jam i r% /?iU n MAnii near;, a uug 10 unc ui me uasticsi animals on Earth. I once saw a book advertised on television entitled "Pet Recipes: Food Guaranteed to Make Your Pet Smile." I'd like to meet the publisher of this book because 1 am sure he is probably the most gullible individual on the face oi the entire earth. I could probablj sell him this column. Have you ever seen what a dog eats? If you want to know withoul reading a book or calling the loca] kennel club, take ol' Buck out tc any cow pasture where Farmei Brown has let ol' Bossy out of the barn. He'll be about as happy as a redneck at a beer-truck wreck Also, if your dog is thirsty while he's in your house, where does he go to drink? And the thing is, he doesn't care what's in there or hov long it's been sitting there either Believe it or not, there are peo pie who will buy that book wit! dog recipes. The UPS man is prob VMM UAAITI auiy cl3 uuoy ucuvcmig uiuoc uwiu as the post man is delivering wel fare checks. There are some people who trea their dogs better than they trea their children. There have beer many a Christmas where rednecl kids had Santa Claus pass then over because ol' Jake just looke< so good in that diamond stud col ?0aifScock S Let Clontz Jimmy DtButts Editor in Chief Ryan Wlbon Chris Muldrow Sports Editors Viewpoints Editor Ethan Myerson Carson Henderson Ryan Sims Radhlka Talwanl Graphics Editors Copy Desk Chiefs Kim Truetl Erin Galloway Photo Editor Wendy Hudson Gregory Perez News Editors Design Editor Susan Goodwin Jason Jeffers Allison Williams All Ansaar Features Editors Cartoonists The Gamecock is the student newspaper of t University of South Carolina and is published Tuesc through Friday during the fall and spring semesters, w the exception of university holidays and exam periods Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of editors or author and not those of the University South Carolina. Th ffeodt SC Since J 908 Chris Muldrow, Viewpoints Editor lal Board Susan Goodwin, Allison Williams, "arson Henderson, Radhika Talwani )le work elections ;, "It's about time" today as the Stums bring the USC elections season >ple on campus as candidates strugjctions Commissioners hear countns; and newspaper reporters scramal or photo. to be harried this week. They have deas and their platforms to 25,000 te. They sincerely want your vote, en speeches and skipped countless imilarly taxed this week. They probmdidate as long as they live. They've j from misplaced signs to CommuGovernment and replace it with a ight counting ballots, they've taxied ldings all over campus and they've ballots all over town, ip-toe through election season withandidate look better than another, because they're either involved with ritically about elections. The newsf objectivity, to severely limit editolave desperately tried to make sure e candidates. The editor has gotten npaign signs in them (Wait! Candite picture. Is that fair?), editorials ndidate?) and news stories (Aighh! at candidate?) It's been an ethical 1 the...newsroom. run-off election. Voter turnouts for tie bit as 10 percent of the student k to get an even bigger turnout for ;o get to work. best Mend, ?bite me? DREW mm <Pf STEWART * f Columnist lar. (The wife looked pretty good in it too, but the dog won out.) And it ain't just redne.. excuse me, Southernly Enhanced (I have to stick to my guns here). A lot of rich folks do the same for their dogs. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's dog had his own air-conditioned dog house. And those folks who fly from state to state with their dogs ain't exactly letting Uncle Sam foot the bill. (Thank God above Bill bought Chelsea a cat.) I always gave my dogs regular old dog food and petted them every once in a while. I always thought that was how you were supposed ! to treat a dog. My sister tends to side with the - folks who give their dogs bigger gravestones than their deceased r relatives. She even gave our dog a Christ; mas present last year. When she ; asked why I wouldn't contribute I to the present, I said, Tm not go> ing to give a Christmas present to something that doesn't understand s the concept of Christmas. Besides, i if I want to spend something that is going to be slobbered on, chewed ? up and drug through the yard, I'd i give my picture to one of my ex? girlfriends." (I'm glad none of them i go to Carolina, or Fd end up writ. ing these from the grave.) I wish dogs were allowed in the i dorms. Theft would sharply de crease and those dam meter maids 3 would think twice before coming - near my truck again. Heck, I could park in the library t and Robocop wouldn't go near that t joker if my dog Maggie was in the i back. t If all men were like dogs, our i car tires would look like crud but i there wouldn't be a need for toilets. / I Chris Carroll ews: 777-7726 I Director of Student Me dvertising: 777-4249 Laura Day AX: 777-6482 Creative Director Jim Green Art Director Tleffa Harper Elizabeth Thoma Tina Morgan Adv Graduate M, James Ponce Renee Gibson Asst. Photo Marketing Directc Ben Pillow Christopher Woo Stephanie Sonnenfeld Asst. Advertising Asstfeatures Manager Larry mm. Erik Col|ln> Faculty Advisor Circulation Editor Letters Policy he The Gamecock will try to print all letters receivi lay Letters should be 200-250 words and must include I jib name, professional title or year and major if a stuck Letters must be personally delivered by the author the The Gamecock newsroom in Russell House room 33' of The Gamecock reserves the right to edit all letters style, possible libel or space limitations. Names will i be withheld under any circumstances. Gamecock VIE Willi V fi Quote Unquote "No changes in the structure or membei this state occurs. Legislators' focus! Give me liber The campaigns for Student Government co elude today with a democratic flourish. At last > the electorate will enjoy relief from being accos ed by people we don't know, imploring and ur ing us to cast our votes for people we have nev met, seen or even bumped into while drunk Five Points. And they call this democracy. By definition, Student Government is one the greater examples of uselessness in life. I perched beside "Military Intelligence" and "Fe eral Balanced Budget" on the Oxymoron Wall Fame. Not to belittle the outgoing officer's achie> ments, but they didn't exactly split the atom, the absence of authority to send troops overse or veto Congressional welfare reform bills, wh did they do? Well they did collect 2,500,000 pe oo o n.ntoaf orrainst narlfin cr fppa arifi t. 1/WiliO CIO CA. VbV0V uguuiwv tvVV) ? parking remains terrible. They also gatherec crowd of 500 students, slightly over 2% of the ca pus enrollment, in vocal protest against propos tuition increases. Does anyone really believe tl fees will not increase under Captain Jack Beasli In sum our Student Government did prel much what they could against the overwhelmi firepower of the emperor and his court. In Doc City the administration would be part town m shall/part outlaws/part brothel keeper, the arbi of all conduct, worship and vice. Student G< ernment plays Pinocchio to the administrate Gepetto, and there isn't much we can do about The suits control most of the cash, and desp contrary appearances of democracy we have tie say in how they spend it. If the candidates really wanted to get my tention and campaign support (not to mentio fawning editorial), they could have argued to ri the most glaring injustice on campus. The car dates could have campaigned to correct the g ing elitism among the campus power brokers bringing beer on campus. Oh yeah, bring t sweet act of bottled kindness to me, and 1} mow your lawn and clean your car. Faces in the News no( " ff| SITS Thursday, February 23, 1995 / SOktH PlBOOT TWA j I WM fitrtlNG AT ^ V^HILlAfW CUMToM. > / 'ship of the commission should be made until after a c should be to secure adequate funding for schools, not Fred Sheheen, Head of Commission on Higher Education ty or give me bet n- be ve he >t. I f._3 I NIGEL RAVENHILL at g. Columnist di From its mysterious roots in ancient Sumeria m of to the oppressive moralizing of prohibitionists, If t's beer remains goodness incarnate. This elixir re- th id- freshes the mind after a poor test result, accom- at of panies with distinction a slab of venison or a hock- pj re- ey game and should be accessible to all those of e( In legal age. Clemson, that motley collection of agri- k, as culturalists, has at least the temerity to offer beer ce lat on their campus. Notwithstanding their other iso more parochial habits, they do possess a certain he sophistication in fighting a censoring paternal- jQ 1 a ism. a] m- In Columbia, there is a dark secret about which led our faculty are loathe to even whisper. While stu- ^ lat dents in search of a cold one are left to their inijy? tiative; a ride to Green's perhaps, or a walk to The tty Big Bird, members of the Faculty Club have onng ly a loping trek across the Horseshoe to quench Ige their parched throats. Not only can they obtain a< ar- tenure on campus, but more importantly they can 01 ter buy a cold draft for 75 cents. I say this isn't right. )v- So what are you newly elected Student Govern- . n's ment officials going to do to correct this? 19 it. If you can't trust me with choosing between a t? lite Bud or a Genuine Draft, how can you trust me ? lit- with a child? (Well, it sort of borrows from that bumper sticker) The administration, in their ar- ^ at- rogance, has carried on too long with their selec- ^ n a tive inequity. My fellow Gamecocks, I believe that t ght the newly-elected Student Poobahs should take idi- a stand for fairness, justice and cast off the shack- ? lar- les of an oppressive force. * i by Not since the post-war military occupation of ( hat the Horseshoe have so few exercised such great vill behavioral constraint over so many. Nicholas II acted with a similar divine arrogance and what ] Utters to the Editor Student Govern] It's Student Government electi time again, and I'm sure we've heard a candidate speak at one time another. It seems that this year m< candidates than usual are bashi I Student Government and saying th I*n Antl rvnlr Thov uiant lldVC CI llt/dll UUUUUA. llivj nuuv "overhaul Student Government" a j "make Student Government work / you." Apparently because of this fn outlook, they have overlooked the f )that Student Government does work you. The current administration, led President Brian Comer, is a compel l and efficient organization that 1 accomplished many things this p year. Immediately following last yea elections, President Comer went work on an updated visitation poli and the fruits of his labor are evid today. President Comer has a worked to establish a student be presidential scholarship. Along u these programs, President Comer helped implement a university-w book exchange using e-mail, laid foundation for Greek housing, wor with Marriott to provide better f< I T..A J : \ x* ' f somprehensive study of higher education in the reorganization of the commission/' )Y on campus icame of him? Ultimately, history will show that ! lost everything ? the free kegs, his gold-trimmed eins, the crested bar towels and all of his social inking buddies. Susan Powter yells, "Stop the Insanity." I bejve that the insanity is our acceptance of the adinistrative lip service offered the student body, the university would subtract a few bucks from le monies heading to an array of unnecessary hletic facilities, they could open a bar. The new actice water polo pond, adjacent to the domed luestrian park right next to the practice basitball court, together, will serve all of 0.1 perint of the USC students. Thousands more would jnefit from a licensed bar on campus. I don't know of a campus bar anywhere that <r ses money. If the shadowy money merchants 'e looking for that right deal for USC, opening bar (I like the name CBGB's) is that right deal, ght now. It could work because it has been sucissful at every university I have ever visited. American patriot Patrick Henry has been ermeously quoted for years. History has failed to icurately record his proud retort, "Give me beer r give me death." No less than a genuine Revolutionary icon inds a strong element to my argument that there i no reason to deny us a right/beverage that cerlinly satiated the Framers of the Constitution luring the hot summer of'76. Oh yes, the issue of beer goes far beyond the (orders of USC. It can be traced to Jefferson, ^dams and their beer-drinking cohorts. This hisorical oversight begs for a correction. & If the new executive has the clarity and energy to act on my moderate request, then they will >e able to answer with more demonstrable suc:ess the inevitable question posed each spring, Well, what did you accomplish in office?" Here's a real toast Carolina to the end of camdus prohibition. Cheers! i nent does good job on service and has lobbied extensively to all preserve the interests of students within or the minds of state legislators. 3re Some candidates do not understand ng how difficult it is to fight an adminisley tration embedded in bureaucracy. The r to blame for a lack of call boxes in parked ing garages or the quality of food on for campus does not fall in the hands of 2sh Student Government. They can only act fight for the rights and needs of stufor dents. That is why Student Government by is there, and that is what they have ent done and will continue to do. Student las Government cannot be held responsible ast for the things outside its area of influence, but should be praised for the it's things it has accomplished and the to things it will acoomplish. Candidates icy, should not bash Student Government, lent they should bash the bureaucracy, lso Overhauling Student Government will )dy not, for example, bring a Chic-Fil-A to dth campus sooner. Electing proven leaderhas ship with the ability to work with the ide administration will, the ked Jason King DOd Marine science sophomore