The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 23, 1995, Page 4, Image 4
4
?l5a
Serving U
Lee Clontz, Editor in Chief <
Editor
Erin Galloway, Wendy Hudson,
Jimmy DeButts, Ryan Wilson, C
Many peoj
to pull off <
A lot of people will sigh a long
dent Government run-off electic
to a close.
It's a tough time for many pec
gle, bite and flail each other; El<
less complaints, whines and moa
ble for yet another story, editori
The candidates have reason i
to try to get their names, their i
students in hope that they'll vo
and they've printed signs, writt
classes to get that vote.
The Elections Commission is s
ably never want to see another cs
heard complaints on everything
nist plots to overthrow Student
dictatorship. They've spent all n
voting volunteers around to bui
hauled giant metal boxes full of
This newspaper has tried to t
out inadvertently making one c
Two columnists haven't written
a campaign or wanted to write c
paper decided, in the interests o
rials dealing with elections.
On the news side, reporters \
even coverage has gone to all th
nervous about pictures with car
date so-and-so's sign isn't in tt
(Freakers! Is he endorsing a ca
Didn't you get a quote from th
dilemma, a lot of work, a pain ii
It all comes down to today's
general elections increased a lit
body voted. ItH take more wor
runoffs. It's time for the voters 1
If he's my
why did ht
Dogs have always been a part
of the American way of life. From
the old lazy dog that sits on your
front porch and only moves when
he sees another dog doing his business
on the telephone pole in front
of your yard to the dogs with such
wild names as "Serendipity of the
Morning Chrysanthemums of July
7,1975" who do nothing but let
a bunch of old ladies who pinched
your cheeks when you were four
years old judge them, dogs are an
integral part of the American
lifestyle.
For an animal that, in some
cases, has achieved near-human
status (heck, they want one to testify
in the O.J. Simpson case, I
a Jam i r% /?iU n MAnii
near;, a uug 10 unc ui me uasticsi
animals on Earth.
I once saw a book advertised
on television entitled "Pet Recipes:
Food Guaranteed to Make Your
Pet Smile." I'd like to meet the
publisher of this book because 1
am sure he is probably the most
gullible individual on the face oi
the entire earth. I could probablj
sell him this column.
Have you ever seen what a dog
eats? If you want to know withoul
reading a book or calling the loca]
kennel club, take ol' Buck out tc
any cow pasture where Farmei
Brown has let ol' Bossy out of the
barn. He'll be about as happy as
a redneck at a beer-truck wreck
Also, if your dog is thirsty while
he's in your house, where does he
go to drink? And the thing is, he
doesn't care what's in there or hov
long it's been sitting there either
Believe it or not, there are peo
pie who will buy that book wit!
dog recipes. The UPS man is prob
VMM UAAITI
auiy cl3 uuoy ucuvcmig uiuoc uwiu
as the post man is delivering wel
fare checks.
There are some people who trea
their dogs better than they trea
their children. There have beer
many a Christmas where rednecl
kids had Santa Claus pass then
over because ol' Jake just looke<
so good in that diamond stud col
?0aifScock S
Let Clontz Jimmy DtButts
Editor in Chief Ryan Wlbon
Chris Muldrow Sports Editors
Viewpoints Editor Ethan Myerson
Carson Henderson Ryan Sims
Radhlka Talwanl Graphics Editors
Copy Desk Chiefs Kim Truetl
Erin Galloway Photo Editor
Wendy Hudson Gregory Perez
News Editors Design Editor
Susan Goodwin Jason Jeffers
Allison Williams All Ansaar
Features Editors Cartoonists
The Gamecock is the student newspaper of t
University of South Carolina and is published Tuesc
through Friday during the fall and spring semesters, w
the exception of university holidays and exam periods
Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of
editors or author and not those of the University
South Carolina.
Th
ffeodt
SC Since J 908
Chris Muldrow, Viewpoints Editor
lal Board
Susan Goodwin, Allison Williams,
"arson Henderson, Radhika Talwani
)le work
elections
;, "It's about time" today as the Stums
bring the USC elections season
>ple on campus as candidates strugjctions
Commissioners hear countns;
and newspaper reporters scramal
or photo.
to be harried this week. They have
deas and their platforms to 25,000
te. They sincerely want your vote,
en speeches and skipped countless
imilarly taxed this week. They probmdidate
as long as they live. They've
j from misplaced signs to CommuGovernment
and replace it with a
ight counting ballots, they've taxied
ldings all over campus and they've
ballots all over town,
ip-toe through election season withandidate
look better than another,
because they're either involved with
ritically about elections. The newsf
objectivity, to severely limit editolave
desperately tried to make sure
e candidates. The editor has gotten
npaign signs in them (Wait! Candite
picture. Is that fair?), editorials
ndidate?) and news stories (Aighh!
at candidate?) It's been an ethical
1 the...newsroom.
run-off election. Voter turnouts for
tie bit as 10 percent of the student
k to get an even bigger turnout for
;o get to work.
best Mend,
?bite me?
DREW
mm <Pf STEWART
* f Columnist
lar. (The wife looked pretty good
in it too, but the dog won out.)
And it ain't just redne.. excuse
me, Southernly Enhanced (I have
to stick to my guns here). A lot of
rich folks do the same for their
dogs. Jim and Tammy Faye
Bakker's dog had his own air-conditioned
dog house.
And those folks who fly from
state to state with their dogs ain't
exactly letting Uncle Sam foot the
bill. (Thank God above Bill bought
Chelsea a cat.)
I always gave my dogs regular
old dog food and petted them every
once in a while. I always thought
that was how you were supposed
! to treat a dog.
My sister tends to side with the
- folks who give their dogs bigger
gravestones than their deceased
r relatives.
She even gave our dog a Christ;
mas present last year. When she
; asked why I wouldn't contribute
I to the present, I said, Tm not go>
ing to give a Christmas present to
something that doesn't understand
s the concept of Christmas. Besides,
i if I want to spend something that
is going to be slobbered on, chewed
? up and drug through the yard, I'd
i give my picture to one of my ex?
girlfriends." (I'm glad none of them
i go to Carolina, or Fd end up writ.
ing these from the grave.)
I wish dogs were allowed in the
i dorms. Theft would sharply de
crease and those dam meter maids
3 would think twice before coming
- near my truck again.
Heck, I could park in the library
t and Robocop wouldn't go near that
t joker if my dog Maggie was in the
i back.
t If all men were like dogs, our
i car tires would look like crud but
i there wouldn't be a need for toilets.
/ I Chris Carroll
ews: 777-7726 I Director of Student Me
dvertising: 777-4249 Laura Day
AX: 777-6482 Creative Director
Jim Green
Art Director
Tleffa Harper Elizabeth Thoma
Tina Morgan Adv Graduate M,
James Ponce Renee Gibson
Asst. Photo Marketing Directc
Ben Pillow Christopher Woo
Stephanie Sonnenfeld Asst. Advertising
Asstfeatures Manager
Larry mm. Erik Col|ln>
Faculty Advisor
Circulation Editor
Letters Policy
he The Gamecock will try to print all letters receivi
lay Letters should be 200-250 words and must include I
jib name, professional title or year and major if a stuck
Letters must be personally delivered by the author
the The Gamecock newsroom in Russell House room 33'
of The Gamecock reserves the right to edit all letters
style, possible libel or space limitations. Names will i
be withheld under any circumstances.
Gamecock VIE Willi
V
fi
Quote Unquote
"No changes in the structure or membei
this state occurs. Legislators' focus!
Give me liber
The campaigns for Student Government co
elude today with a democratic flourish. At last >
the electorate will enjoy relief from being accos
ed by people we don't know, imploring and ur
ing us to cast our votes for people we have nev
met, seen or even bumped into while drunk
Five Points. And they call this democracy.
By definition, Student Government is one
the greater examples of uselessness in life. I
perched beside "Military Intelligence" and "Fe
eral Balanced Budget" on the Oxymoron Wall
Fame. Not to belittle the outgoing officer's achie>
ments, but they didn't exactly split the atom,
the absence of authority to send troops overse
or veto Congressional welfare reform bills, wh
did they do? Well they did collect 2,500,000 pe
oo o n.ntoaf orrainst narlfin cr fppa arifi t.
1/WiliO CIO CA. VbV0V uguuiwv tvVV) ?
parking remains terrible. They also gatherec
crowd of 500 students, slightly over 2% of the ca
pus enrollment, in vocal protest against propos
tuition increases. Does anyone really believe tl
fees will not increase under Captain Jack Beasli
In sum our Student Government did prel
much what they could against the overwhelmi
firepower of the emperor and his court. In Doc
City the administration would be part town m
shall/part outlaws/part brothel keeper, the arbi
of all conduct, worship and vice. Student G<
ernment plays Pinocchio to the administrate
Gepetto, and there isn't much we can do about
The suits control most of the cash, and desp
contrary appearances of democracy we have
tie say in how they spend it.
If the candidates really wanted to get my
tention and campaign support (not to mentio
fawning editorial), they could have argued to ri
the most glaring injustice on campus. The car
dates could have campaigned to correct the g
ing elitism among the campus power brokers
bringing beer on campus. Oh yeah, bring t
sweet act of bottled kindness to me, and 1}
mow your lawn and clean your car.
Faces in the News
no( " ff|
SITS Thursday, February 23, 1995
/ SOktH PlBOOT TWA
j I WM fitrtlNG AT
^ V^HILlAfW CUMToM.
>
/
'ship of the commission should be made until after a c
should be to secure adequate funding for schools, not
Fred Sheheen,
Head of Commission on Higher Education
ty or give me bet
n- be
ve he
>t. I f._3 I NIGEL RAVENHILL at
g. Columnist di
From its mysterious roots in ancient Sumeria m
of to the oppressive moralizing of prohibitionists, If
t's beer remains goodness incarnate. This elixir re- th
id- freshes the mind after a poor test result, accom- at
of panies with distinction a slab of venison or a hock- pj
re- ey game and should be accessible to all those of e(
In legal age. Clemson, that motley collection of agri- k,
as culturalists, has at least the temerity to offer beer ce
lat on their campus. Notwithstanding their other
iso more parochial habits, they do possess a certain
he sophistication in fighting a censoring paternal- jQ
1 a ism. a]
m- In Columbia, there is a dark secret about which
led our faculty are loathe to even whisper. While stu- ^
lat dents in search of a cold one are left to their inijy?
tiative; a ride to Green's perhaps, or a walk to The
tty Big Bird, members of the Faculty Club have onng
ly a loping trek across the Horseshoe to quench
Ige their parched throats. Not only can they obtain a<
ar- tenure on campus, but more importantly they can 01
ter buy a cold draft for 75 cents. I say this isn't right.
)v- So what are you newly elected Student Govern- .
n's ment officials going to do to correct this? 19
it. If you can't trust me with choosing between a t?
lite Bud or a Genuine Draft, how can you trust me ?
lit- with a child? (Well, it sort of borrows from that
bumper sticker) The administration, in their ar- ^
at- rogance, has carried on too long with their selec- ^
n a tive inequity. My fellow Gamecocks, I believe that t
ght the newly-elected Student Poobahs should take
idi- a stand for fairness, justice and cast off the shack- ?
lar- les of an oppressive force. *
i by Not since the post-war military occupation of (
hat the Horseshoe have so few exercised such great
vill behavioral constraint over so many. Nicholas II
acted with a similar divine arrogance and what ]
Utters to the Editor
Student Govern]
It's Student Government electi
time again, and I'm sure we've
heard a candidate speak at one time
another. It seems that this year m<
candidates than usual are bashi
I Student Government and saying th
I*n Antl rvnlr Thov uiant
lldVC CI llt/dll UUUUUA. llivj nuuv
"overhaul Student Government" a
j "make Student Government work
/ you." Apparently because of this fn
outlook, they have overlooked the f
)that Student Government does work
you. The current administration, led
President Brian Comer, is a compel
l and efficient organization that 1
accomplished many things this p
year.
Immediately following last yea
elections, President Comer went
work on an updated visitation poli
and the fruits of his labor are evid
today. President Comer has a
worked to establish a student be
presidential scholarship. Along u
these programs, President Comer
helped implement a university-w
book exchange using e-mail, laid
foundation for Greek housing, wor
with Marriott to provide better f<
I
T..A
J :
\
x*
'
f
somprehensive study of higher education in
the reorganization of the commission/'
)Y on campus
icame of him? Ultimately, history will show that
! lost everything ? the free kegs, his gold-trimmed
eins, the crested bar towels and all of his social
inking buddies.
Susan Powter yells, "Stop the Insanity." I bejve
that the insanity is our acceptance of the adinistrative
lip service offered the student body,
the university would subtract a few bucks from
le monies heading to an array of unnecessary
hletic facilities, they could open a bar. The new
actice water polo pond, adjacent to the domed
luestrian park right next to the practice basitball
court, together, will serve all of 0.1 perint
of the USC students. Thousands more would
jnefit from a licensed bar on campus.
I don't know of a campus bar anywhere that <r
ses money. If the shadowy money merchants
'e looking for that right deal for USC, opening
bar (I like the name CBGB's) is that right deal,
ght now. It could work because it has been sucissful
at every university I have ever visited.
American patriot Patrick Henry has been ermeously
quoted for years. History has failed to
icurately record his proud retort, "Give me beer
r give me death."
No less than a genuine Revolutionary icon
inds a strong element to my argument that there
i no reason to deny us a right/beverage that cerlinly
satiated the Framers of the Constitution
luring the hot summer of'76.
Oh yes, the issue of beer goes far beyond the
(orders of USC. It can be traced to Jefferson,
^dams and their beer-drinking cohorts. This hisorical
oversight begs for a correction. &
If the new executive has the clarity and energy
to act on my moderate request, then they will
>e able to answer with more demonstrable suc:ess
the inevitable question posed each spring,
Well, what did you accomplish in office?"
Here's a real toast Carolina to the end of camdus
prohibition. Cheers!
i
nent does good job
on service and has lobbied extensively to
all preserve the interests of students within
or the minds of state legislators.
3re Some candidates do not understand
ng how difficult it is to fight an adminisley
tration embedded in bureaucracy. The r
to blame for a lack of call boxes in parked
ing garages or the quality of food on
for campus does not fall in the hands of
2sh Student Government. They can only
act fight for the rights and needs of stufor
dents. That is why Student Government
by is there, and that is what they have
ent done and will continue to do. Student
las Government cannot be held responsible
ast for the things outside its area of influence,
but should be praised for the
it's things it has accomplished and the
to things it will acoomplish. Candidates
icy, should not bash Student Government,
lent they should bash the bureaucracy,
lso Overhauling Student Government will
)dy not, for example, bring a Chic-Fil-A to
dth campus sooner. Electing proven leaderhas
ship with the ability to work with the
ide administration will,
the
ked Jason King
DOd Marine science sophomore