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o' the warm weath< that clear pavement. I drive a 1985 Toyota Tercel that's pockmarked to the point of looking >L -C i i I South Ch pon Kpp<? VfllVUU UWl^ I 9 By NIGEL RAVENHILL Staff Writer I must have left Kansas awhile back, for, like Dorothy, I find myself in a foreign land. It's February, but where is the snow, the sleet, the hail, the ice that coats any static object. And the slush, that coming together of all things wet and slippery as soon as the weather rises above freezing. I can't say that I really long for it in this winter from hell, which forces many a Northerner to reevaluate the merits or lire in a tour-season climate. f But it's not yet March, I'm already wearing shorts to class, sunglasses encircle my head, there are quasi-official documents affixed to my passport. I must be in grad school in the heart of Dixie. Oh sure, the natives speak a language I learned at school, but it sure isn't the Queen's English. There's a panoply of accents to be heard and enjoyed, but the odd one stands out and demands an interpreter. That's right, someone to let me know exactly what a fellow English-speaker is saying. ' The first time comes to mind when I felt as if I had discovered the Tasadays, and in my rejoicing I was puzzled as to the method of communication to be employed. A month has now passed, and we easily converse after the awkward beginning, but anytime we meet I can't help but think of 1 NASCAR racing and Bill Elliott. The cars? Have you seen their condition in Columbia? Of course, this thought doesn't even spring to mind unless you have driven your car in the wasteland that is commuting in the North. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, or so goes that saying, and I uon i Know wnere salt lies except to underline that in the annual war of winter driving. There is no more scurrilous and craven a fiend than the granular stuff sprayed on roads to melt the ice. Great genius that Nobel Laureate was who first conceived that idea! Simply put a material on the driving surface that, notwithstanding its efficacy, uli timately destroys all cars driven on * . , . . . wWBuiiBHiiimi WmmM UNFORTl PEC TOO MAN! Every year, a lot of pe huge mistake on the don't take advantage of t <1 wind up sending Uncle S ^ could be saving lor retire s Fortunately, that s a m * ^ easily avoid with TIAA-C SRAs not only ease your bite, they offer a remark; * to build retirement incon ^ for the "extras" that youi and Social Security bene cover. Because your cont r made in before-tax dollai taxes now. And since all < your SRA are tax-defern 1 Benefit now fivn 22^3 Ensuring th J for those wh | O CREF certificates are distributed by TIAA-Cb \ eall!m-H42-2733'txt uivv; uic viLiiui 01 numerous unve-Dys. A similar model, driven in Columbia and without even a decent wash, could certainly take Best-of-Show honors at the Tercel Club of Canada's annual party. And what's a car for if not for driving fast and hunting pedestrians? Up North, a crosswalk exists so that people can traverse the road safely without fear of getting crunched. But every time I saunter over to the Coliseum, the crossing by the frat quad reminds me of the chase in "l ive and Let Die"; a lot of chills, thrills and spills. Cars race by in a procession as if they're all going to Oklahoma to stake out a homestead. Just chill, and try to avoid the bowed heads shuffling off to class. Better yet would be the enforcement of a reduced speed limit, or lights indicating that some people in this area aren't participating in Death Race 2000. Maybe it's the stress. What stress? I've driven in Columbia's version of rush hour and enjoyed it. I've also spent many an hour in Toronto's rush hour and not enjoyed it. Driving is a I i I ? ? relaxing cnaeavor amiast tne palmettos. Anyone from the North can attest to that because commuting in any city up there is vehicular hell. To survive requires aggressiveness, a lot of profanity and a foot poised on the brake. You can get there from here by smiling a la Mr. Rogers and being exceedingly courteous, but count on being late for everything. Sure, Los Angeles has more cars, but they do their driving in shorts and Tshirts. Northerners wear bulky sweaters, hats, gloves, funny rubber overshoes, a take-out coffee in one hand and white knuckles on the other. Journalism Professor L. Briedey summed up a fundamental difference by noting, "If you're a Type B personality in the North, down here you qualify as Type A." So, for; the first time in my life, I get Omo&ftfrn?r\i of the Treasury?Hft* U.S. individual Incc For the year Jan, t-Dec, 31, V /Vour fmt nam# and initial somt return, spouse'? INATEIS; THIS I! IPLEARE PUTT! I KJbTIKEMENT J ople make a money you don't :ir taxes. They works even hard ax deferral and road, that can m; lam money they in your quality o ;ment. What else mal istake you can A range of alloca ^REF SRAs. guaranteed secui current tax- diversified invesi ably easy way CREF's variable ie?especially by the nations ni " regular pension system, fits may not Why write off ributions are rewarding retirei ~s, you pay less learn more about I or* A 1 1 rm mugs on oi\./\s can neip y( ed as well, the happy returns. t tax deferral. Call our SRA hotline 180< e future 10 shape it!M 'EF Individual and Institutional Services. For more complete inf. 8016 for a prospectus. Read the prospectus carefully before you t Carol ; borde tr draw North< mm I to olav one of those siiner-stresseH I I? / - ? ? ? ? 1 * wackos who rush off, turn around and rush elsewhere, rushing every- I where but the beer store, stores such < as Green's. At least I call it the beer | store; the province of Ontario regu- , lates sales in government stores, and , no matter what the population of the ; community, God-forbid there isn't a j place to buy a case of Molson Cana- j dian or Labatt's Blue. 2 I have passed through hamlets in j Ontario, places too small to even be referred to as a "hamlet," where the thirst for beer has forced me to seek j out the construction trailer cum beer store, where a bored cashier takes our ( colored dollar bills. And for a case of ^ beer, we grudgingly pass over about $24. ' Whv? Because Canadian heer is sn. a perior to anything down here, and we *= have universal medicare, which Bill c Clinton will shortly give to all Ameri- t{ cans. It's really nice, but it sure costs ^ a lot ? the health care and the beer. c But there's great optimism in the South. I'm not really sure from 8 whence it came, but it's a refreshing r reminder that hope springs eternal. 1 1 have met folks who actually think, no, c believe in their hearts, that the Atlanta c Braves could win the World Series. 0 And when thath^pjpetts, wt can all tl jme Tax ... 992 Of otftet ilirst narm and In&i' #r and street). H you have $11 ,fftce. state, and ZIP code. Il I -***k * n > WHERE NG DOLLARS. send to Washington !er for you. Down the ike a dramatic difference flife. tes SRAs so spec ial? tion choices?from the *ity of TIAA to the tment accounts of annuity?all backed jmoer one retirement the chance for a more ment? Call today and how TIAA-CREF du enjoy many 0-842-2733, ext. 8016. armation, including charges ant) expenses, neesU>rjendjnoneg^^^^^^^^^^^^? lina! % eh? . * irners soutl wKL/L w have a Bud-lite with Santa and Elv: I say Scarlett, it just ain't going happen. Cito Gaston will name a ather seven to eight players amoi his international posse of baseball t; snt to the All-Star Game, the team w draw another 4 million yuppies to tl skv Dnme nnrl mmp Ortr?h#?r n ?ut a note in my day-timer, we'll vi t one of those beer stores and crow i third championship, ultimately pro ng that money ($47.5 million i alaries) does buy happiness. But the weather sure is wonderfi n Columbia, and USC graduates ca mvision the day when they'll be abi o afford a house, something that i roronto is uncomfortably close to th tmerican Dream. Real estate prict re way out of control, the price < ;as (upward of $2.30 a gallon) is 01 >f hand, our navy has been reduce o four frigates and a 14-foot fishin >oat, and we have four solid month >f winter and drive rusting cars. During my upcoming semesters < rad school. I olan to eninv rhi espite from my previous life i "oronto and enjoy the sun, the a< ents, strange colloquialisms, barbt ue, the palm trees and the warmt f South Carolinians. Thanks for all c lat and especially the cheap beei *( Whale Ticket Problem: Wl exam, your term paper a to set You yo Solution: N edge of cam living witn o may think it Whaley's Mi leases to i students. So Whaley's Mil M-r I for Sui I "EE Wednesday, Feb. 23 Self-improvement through self-hypnosis, 2 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Counseling and Human Development Center. Workshop is free to students. 7775223. "What Can I Do With a Major in... Art?" 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m., Sloan Audi lonum. I Panel discussion on "The Migrant Experience in South Carolina," sponsored by the Latin American Studies Program and the Department of Spanish, Italian and Portuguese. 3:30 p.m., Gambrell Hall 151. 777-7611. International Coffee House, 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., Sims lobby. A discussion on "Minority/Majority Issues Around the World." Gourmet coffees and cookies , will be served7Admission is free. Minority Assistance Peer Program, 6 p.m., Capstone Conference Room. ' MAPP will hold an information session. Applications for the program are available at the RH Campus Activities (Information Desk. For more informa- ' tion, call the Office of Minority Stu- ' A -T-7-T T-T 1 f I uppcri 5UI l^> db Wi save time, and money , II where parking tickets tne past. ?w Pre-Leasi mmer and F T [ ^ \ I ?y's MillTo Better hat a day! You didn't dc roomate accidentally di ind now this. The last th ?...a dreaded parking tic i need to nr ur life easi -love to Whaley's Mill. I pus, Whaley's Mill offei n-campus convenience costs more to live clos< II offers low student rat i i r\ r\ v i-/- r> r> ? ? ? B Utllt AU4115 dl /// // iu. ; Gamma Beta Phi, 8:30 p.m., Nurs- j * ing Auditorium. Call Whitney Webb at is 252-2512. to Resume workshop in Bates social room, 7 p.m. n - I 18 j ll: Thursday, Feb. 24 I "Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater. ie $2. . le 1 Pridotr Eoh 91 rn iVU. It J | v. "Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater. 52 n 9 Deadline for Mortar Board National al Honor Society scholarship applica- 1 tions. The society will award four 1 5500 undergraduate scholarships and 1 e four 51,500 graduate fellowships. Ap- | n plications are available at the RH In- j ,e formation Desk, SG office, Campus :s Activities Center and Graduate School Office. 11 Deadline for Women Students' As- I d sociation fourth annual Outstanding < ig Woman of the Year at USC award. Ap- | is plications are available at Campus Ac- j tivities Center and RH Information ?, >f Desk. is Deadline for Portfolio submissions. ' n Nonfiction, fiction, art, poetry and 1 photography are needed. RH 317. j. ' 1 h Saturday, Feb. 26 < >f "Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater. 1 r ?o Mil Wednesday, March 2 : Beta Alpha Psi, 5:30 p.m. : social, 6 p.m. Meeting with Elliot Davis. Topic is recruiting successfully. Profession)al dress. Call Charles Knight at 544)0396. Tbesday, March 15 Applications are due for 1994-95 BA uuucLgiiiuuaic: scuuiaiMiips. Applications are available in the dean's office. For more information, call 777-3176. Friday, March 18 Applications for the Minority Assistance Peer Program are due by 5 p.m. at the RH fnmniK Arriviti#?? Infr>rrm. tion Desk. Weekly Meetings Mondays, Bible Study, 6:50 p.m., Baptist Student Union, 700 Pickens St. Mondays and Wednesdays, free in:ome tax assistance, 12:30 p.m.-2:30 3.m? RH lobby. Call 777-4710 for inbrmation. I Tuesdays, gay, lesbian and bisexud students support group, 4:30 p.m., Counseling Center. | Tuesdays, Chi Alpha Christian Felowship, 8 p.m., Humanities 403I Tuesdays and Thursdays, free tu oring for accounting students, 6 p.m. :o 8 p.m., BA402. 777-4710 I Wednesdays, Student Outreaoh [USC admissions recruitment program), 5:30 p.m., Leiber College. Call Leigh Stoan at 777-4080. | Wednesdays, College Republicans, J p.m., Gambrell 250. Call Eric Dell it 926-7902 or Chip Payne at 750>162. I Thursdays, RHA, 7 p.m., RH 305. 3all Rebekah at 544-2109. | Thursdays, "Heart to Heart," 7 p.m., -JAA n:_l Japiui JIUULII1 UIUUll, /UU riLKCIlS >t. I Thursdays, Inter-Varsity Christian fellowship, 8 p.m., RH 303. rhe deadline for Datebook is two lays before publication date. Subnissions are free and printed acording to available space. four Living > well on your scarded your ling you want :ket(s). lake er! "I ! I? A. 1.1 \igni on me 's off-campus . While some 3 to campus, ?s and special all as grad and move to are a thing of ing afl'94 gl re home isn't far away If Monday - Friday 9:30am - 5:30pm 254-7801 211 Main St.