The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 23, 1994, Page 5, Image 5
o' the
warm weath<
that clear pavement.
I drive a 1985 Toyota Tercel that's
pockmarked to the point of looking
>L -C i i
I
South
Ch pon Kpp<?
VfllVUU UWl^
I
9 By NIGEL RAVENHILL
Staff Writer
I must have left Kansas awhile back,
for, like Dorothy, I find myself in a
foreign land. It's February, but where
is the snow, the sleet, the hail, the ice
that coats any static object. And the
slush, that coming together of all
things wet and slippery as soon as the
weather rises above freezing.
I can't say that I really long for it in
this winter from hell, which forces
many a Northerner to reevaluate the
merits or lire in a tour-season climate.
f But it's not yet March, I'm already
wearing shorts to class, sunglasses encircle
my head, there are quasi-official
documents affixed to my passport. I
must be in grad school in the heart of
Dixie.
Oh sure, the natives speak a language
I learned at school, but it sure
isn't the Queen's English. There's a
panoply of accents to be heard and
enjoyed, but the odd one stands out
and demands an interpreter. That's
right, someone to let me know exactly
what a fellow English-speaker is saying.
' The first time comes to mind when
I felt as if I had discovered the Tasadays,
and in my rejoicing I was puzzled
as to the method of communication
to be employed. A month has
now passed, and we easily converse
after the awkward beginning, but anytime
we meet I can't help but think of
1 NASCAR racing and Bill Elliott.
The cars? Have you seen their condition
in Columbia? Of course, this
thought doesn't even spring to mind
unless you have driven your car in the
wasteland that is commuting in the
North. The enemy of my enemy is my
friend, or so goes that saying, and I
uon i Know wnere salt lies except to
underline that in the annual war of
winter driving.
There is no more scurrilous and
craven a fiend than the granular stuff
sprayed on roads to melt the ice.
Great genius that Nobel Laureate was
who first conceived that idea! Simply
put a material on the driving surface
that, notwithstanding its efficacy, uli
timately destroys all cars driven on
* . , . .
. wWBuiiBHiiimi
WmmM
UNFORTl
PEC
TOO MAN!
Every year, a lot of pe
huge mistake on the
don't take advantage of t
<1 wind up sending Uncle S
^ could be saving lor retire
s Fortunately, that s a m
* ^ easily avoid with TIAA-C
SRAs not only ease your
bite, they offer a remark;
* to build retirement incon
^ for the "extras" that youi
and Social Security bene
cover. Because your cont
r made in before-tax dollai
taxes now. And since all <
your SRA are tax-defern
1
Benefit now fivn
22^3 Ensuring th
J for those wh
|
O CREF certificates are distributed by TIAA-Cb
\ eall!m-H42-2733'txt
uivv; uic viLiiui 01 numerous unve-Dys.
A similar model, driven in Columbia
and without even a decent wash,
could certainly take Best-of-Show honors
at the Tercel Club of Canada's annual
party.
And what's a car for if not for driving
fast and hunting pedestrians? Up
North, a crosswalk exists so that people
can traverse the road safely without
fear of getting crunched. But
every time I saunter over to the Coliseum,
the crossing by the frat quad reminds
me of the chase in "l ive and
Let Die"; a lot of chills, thrills and
spills.
Cars race by in a procession as if
they're all going to Oklahoma to stake
out a homestead. Just chill, and try to
avoid the bowed heads shuffling off
to class. Better yet would be the enforcement
of a reduced speed limit,
or lights indicating that some people
in this area aren't participating in
Death Race 2000.
Maybe it's the stress. What stress?
I've driven in Columbia's version of
rush hour and enjoyed it. I've also
spent many an hour in Toronto's rush
hour and not enjoyed it. Driving is a
I i I ? ?
relaxing cnaeavor amiast tne palmettos.
Anyone from the North can attest
to that because commuting in any city
up there is vehicular hell.
To survive requires aggressiveness,
a lot of profanity and a foot poised on
the brake. You can get there from
here by smiling a la Mr. Rogers and
being exceedingly courteous, but
count on being late for everything.
Sure, Los Angeles has more cars, but
they do their driving in shorts and Tshirts.
Northerners wear bulky sweaters,
hats, gloves, funny rubber overshoes,
a take-out coffee in one hand and
white knuckles on the other. Journalism
Professor L. Briedey summed
up a fundamental difference by noting,
"If you're a Type B personality in
the North, down here you qualify as
Type A."
So, for; the first time in my life, I get
Omo&ftfrn?r\i of the Treasury?Hft*
U.S. individual Incc
For the year Jan, t-Dec, 31, V
/Vour fmt nam# and initial
somt return, spouse'?
INATEIS; THIS I!
IPLEARE PUTT!
I KJbTIKEMENT J
ople make a money you don't
:ir taxes. They works even hard
ax deferral and road, that can m;
lam money they in your quality o
;ment. What else mal
istake you can A range of alloca
^REF SRAs. guaranteed secui
current tax- diversified invesi
ably easy way CREF's variable
ie?especially by the nations ni
" regular pension system,
fits may not Why write off
ributions are rewarding retirei
~s, you pay less learn more about
I or* A 1 1
rm mugs on oi\./\s can neip y(
ed as well, the happy returns.
t tax deferral. Call our SRA hotline 180<
e future
10 shape it!M
'EF Individual and Institutional Services. For more complete inf.
8016 for a prospectus. Read the prospectus carefully before you t
Carol
; borde
tr draw North<
mm
I
to olav one of those siiner-stresseH I
I? / - ? ? ? ? 1 *
wackos who rush off, turn around
and rush elsewhere, rushing every- I
where but the beer store, stores such <
as Green's. At least I call it the beer |
store; the province of Ontario regu- ,
lates sales in government stores, and ,
no matter what the population of the ;
community, God-forbid there isn't a j
place to buy a case of Molson Cana- j
dian or Labatt's Blue. 2
I have passed through hamlets in j
Ontario, places too small to even be
referred to as a "hamlet," where the
thirst for beer has forced me to seek j
out the construction trailer cum beer
store, where a bored cashier takes our (
colored dollar bills. And for a case of ^
beer, we grudgingly pass over about
$24. '
Whv? Because Canadian heer is sn. a
perior to anything down here, and we *=
have universal medicare, which Bill c
Clinton will shortly give to all Ameri- t{
cans. It's really nice, but it sure costs ^
a lot ? the health care and the beer. c
But there's great optimism in the
South. I'm not really sure from 8
whence it came, but it's a refreshing r
reminder that hope springs eternal. 1 1
have met folks who actually think, no, c
believe in their hearts, that the Atlanta c
Braves could win the World Series. 0
And when thath^pjpetts, wt can all tl
jme Tax ...
992 Of otftet
ilirst narm and In&i'
#r and street). H you have $11
,fftce. state, and ZIP code. Il
I
-***k * n
> WHERE
NG
DOLLARS.
send to Washington
!er for you. Down the
ike a dramatic difference
flife.
tes SRAs so spec ial?
tion choices?from the
*ity of TIAA to the
tment accounts of
annuity?all backed
jmoer one retirement
the chance for a more
ment? Call today and
how TIAA-CREF
du enjoy many
0-842-2733, ext. 8016.
armation, including charges ant) expenses,
neesU>rjendjnoneg^^^^^^^^^^^^?
lina!
% eh?
. *
irners soutl
wKL/L
w
have a Bud-lite with Santa and Elv:
I say Scarlett, it just ain't going
happen. Cito Gaston will name a
ather seven to eight players amoi
his international posse of baseball t;
snt to the All-Star Game, the team w
draw another 4 million yuppies to tl
skv Dnme nnrl mmp Ortr?h#?r n
?ut a note in my day-timer, we'll vi
t one of those beer stores and crow
i third championship, ultimately pro
ng that money ($47.5 million i
alaries) does buy happiness.
But the weather sure is wonderfi
n Columbia, and USC graduates ca
mvision the day when they'll be abi
o afford a house, something that i
roronto is uncomfortably close to th
tmerican Dream. Real estate prict
re way out of control, the price <
;as (upward of $2.30 a gallon) is 01
>f hand, our navy has been reduce
o four frigates and a 14-foot fishin
>oat, and we have four solid month
>f winter and drive rusting cars.
During my upcoming semesters <
rad school. I olan to eninv rhi
espite from my previous life i
"oronto and enjoy the sun, the a<
ents, strange colloquialisms, barbt
ue, the palm trees and the warmt
f South Carolinians. Thanks for all c
lat and especially the cheap beei
*(
Whale
Ticket
Problem: Wl
exam, your
term paper a
to set
You
yo
Solution: N
edge of cam
living witn o
may think it
Whaley's Mi
leases to i
students. So
Whaley's Mil
M-r
I
for Sui
I "EE
Wednesday, Feb. 23
Self-improvement through self-hypnosis,
2 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Counseling
and Human Development Center.
Workshop is free to students. 7775223.
"What Can I Do With a Major in...
Art?" 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m., Sloan Audi
lonum.
I Panel discussion on "The Migrant
Experience in South Carolina," sponsored
by the Latin American Studies
Program and the Department of Spanish,
Italian and Portuguese. 3:30 p.m.,
Gambrell Hall 151. 777-7611.
International Coffee House, 6 p.m.
to 8 p.m., Sims lobby. A discussion on
"Minority/Majority Issues Around the
World." Gourmet coffees and cookies ,
will be served7Admission is free.
Minority Assistance Peer Program,
6 p.m., Capstone Conference Room. '
MAPP will hold an information session.
Applications for the program are
available at the RH Campus Activities
(Information Desk. For more informa- '
tion, call the Office of Minority Stu- '
A -T-7-T T-T 1 f I
uppcri 5UI l^> db Wi
save time, and money ,
II where parking tickets
tne past.
?w Pre-Leasi
mmer and F
T [
^ \
I
?y's MillTo
Better
hat a day! You didn't dc
roomate accidentally di
ind now this. The last th
?...a dreaded parking tic
i need to nr
ur life easi
-love to Whaley's Mill. I
pus, Whaley's Mill offei
n-campus convenience
costs more to live clos<
II offers low student rat
i i r\ r\ v i-/- r> r> ? ? ?
B Utllt AU4115 dl /// // iu. ;
Gamma Beta Phi, 8:30 p.m., Nurs- j
* ing Auditorium. Call Whitney Webb at
is 252-2512.
to Resume workshop in Bates social
room, 7 p.m.
n - I
18 j
ll: Thursday, Feb. 24 I
"Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater.
ie $2. .
le 1
Pridotr Eoh 91
rn iVU. It J |
v. "Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater.
52
n 9
Deadline for Mortar Board National
al Honor Society scholarship applica- 1
tions. The society will award four 1
5500 undergraduate scholarships and 1
e four 51,500 graduate fellowships. Ap- |
n plications are available at the RH In- j
,e formation Desk, SG office, Campus
:s Activities Center and Graduate School
Office.
11 Deadline for Women Students' As- I
d sociation fourth annual Outstanding <
ig Woman of the Year at USC award. Ap- |
is plications are available at Campus Ac- j
tivities Center and RH Information ?,
>f Desk.
is Deadline for Portfolio submissions. '
n Nonfiction, fiction, art, poetry and 1
photography are needed. RH 317.
j. ' 1
h Saturday, Feb. 26 <
>f "Carlito's Way," 9 p.m., RH Theater. 1
r ?o
Mil
Wednesday, March 2 :
Beta Alpha Psi, 5:30 p.m. : social, 6
p.m. Meeting with Elliot Davis. Topic
is recruiting successfully. Profession)al
dress. Call Charles Knight at 544)0396.
Tbesday, March 15
Applications are due for 1994-95 BA
uuucLgiiiuuaic: scuuiaiMiips. Applications
are available in the dean's office.
For more information, call 777-3176.
Friday, March 18
Applications for the Minority Assistance
Peer Program are due by 5 p.m.
at the RH fnmniK Arriviti#?? Infr>rrm.
tion Desk.
Weekly Meetings
Mondays, Bible Study, 6:50 p.m.,
Baptist Student Union, 700 Pickens
St.
Mondays and Wednesdays, free in:ome
tax assistance, 12:30 p.m.-2:30
3.m? RH lobby. Call 777-4710 for inbrmation.
I Tuesdays, gay, lesbian and bisexud
students support group, 4:30 p.m.,
Counseling Center.
| Tuesdays, Chi Alpha Christian Felowship,
8 p.m., Humanities 403I
Tuesdays and Thursdays, free tu
oring for accounting students, 6 p.m.
:o 8 p.m., BA402. 777-4710
I Wednesdays, Student Outreaoh
[USC admissions recruitment program),
5:30 p.m., Leiber College. Call
Leigh Stoan at 777-4080.
| Wednesdays, College Republicans,
J p.m., Gambrell 250. Call Eric Dell
it 926-7902 or Chip Payne at 750>162.
I Thursdays, RHA, 7 p.m., RH 305.
3all Rebekah at 544-2109.
| Thursdays, "Heart to Heart," 7 p.m.,
-JAA n:_l
Japiui JIUULII1 UIUUll, /UU riLKCIlS
>t.
I Thursdays, Inter-Varsity Christian
fellowship, 8 p.m., RH 303.
rhe deadline for Datebook is two
lays before publication date. Subnissions
are free and printed acording
to available space.
four
Living
> well on your
scarded your
ling you want
:ket(s).
lake
er!
"I ! I? A. 1.1
\igni on me
's off-campus
. While some
3 to campus,
?s and special
all as grad
and move to
are a thing of
ing
afl'94
gl
re home isn't far away
If Monday - Friday
9:30am - 5:30pm
254-7801
211 Main St.