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Fool continued from page 10 Aikrnan can't. Eagles chances ? a knee and a prayer, or a prayer and a knee. Warren Moon: too bad you won't ever get to a Super Bowl. You deserve to. Best defense in the AFC ? the Orange Crush. Go Broncos! Oops! Did I forget to talk about the rest of the AFC Central? What AFC Central? H<*v M;trfv Schottenheimer. how does it feel to know you could sell your soul and still not be able to beat Denver in a big game? Wouldn't it be nice if the Raiders team plane crashed? Of course not, but I sure wouldn't mind. Hey Nose Candy, I mean Todd Marinovich, need a lawyer? Division winners: Denver, Houston, Buffalo, Philadelphia, Detroit and New Orleans. Wild cards: Kansas City, New York Giants (Wrong!) Jets, Miami, Dallas, San Francisco and Minnesota. AFC Championship Game: Denver 20, Houston 17. NFC Championship Game: Philadelphia 6, New Orleans 3. Super Bowl: Denver 17, Philadelphia 14. Hey Charlotte, when can I order my playoff tickets. Larry Johnson, Kendall Gill and Alonzo Mourning ? the future is here for the Hornets. Shaq, get used to losing. You too Laettner. I can't wait to see Charles Barkley playing for Phoenix. Another year, another choke for the Blazers. Now that Larry Bird is gone, maybe Chris Mullin will get the credit he deserves. Shawn Kemp ? Sonic boom! Terry Catledge wouldn't let Shaq wear number 33. Does Disneyland need one slightly big-headed exbasketball player to run the spinning teacups? Eastern Conference Playoffs: 1) Chicago, 2) New York, 3) Cleveland, 4) Boston, 5) Atlanta, 6) New Jersey, 7) Charlotte, 8) Detroit. /"> 1 \ WCSICIII v^unicicucc riajwiio. 1/ Phoenix, 2) Utah, 3) Golden State, use I on Where: KROGE When: Thursday Time: 4pm - 10p Show your USC \ 250 Cokes \ 250 Hot Dogs (S* . our deli \ Register f?r Pr'z to be given awt every 30 min FREE SAMPLES lit Meet Me ai F 4) Portland, 5) Seattle, 6)San Antonio, 7) Los Angeles Clippers, ^YX/11 8) Los Angeles Lakers. k3 WAJ NBA Finals: Phoenix 4, Chicago 3- By ROB R On a totally serious note, Assistant S[ September 5 is going to be a ser momentous occasion for the USC , , , . , - _ career-best toolball team. I can wait, and I Swimmi am going to cheer like hell tor in Auousl Carolina from five hours before yh(f ^ra kickoff until I get back to my captajn piac apartment later the next morning. 1 [i<mc of ^ ( might not be able to get out there behind secc and kick any Bulldog rear. But the wjn) least I or any of you reading this Qlvmnic bi can do is give the guys your total ^ finishe support. Carolina 27, Georgia 23. PNNOUNCEMEN1 ^>uld I ^Riploye at A n /\DT7A* V/jTLLVUHK m )s Night 0 at {ROGER Forest Drive R on Forest Drive /, September 3rd )im ID and racGiv? a FREE c< T?e?ister to ^ .. ^ Cases of Coke fried chicken ^ -e Balloons \ Kroger on Forest I or a Fun Time! nmer places foui ODUSKY ports Editor lior Anne Marie Wozniak turned in a performance at the U.S. Senior National Championships in Mission Viejo, Calif., nd Island, N.Y., native and USC team :ed fourth in the 50-meter freestyle with a 31 seconds. Wozniak finished .06 seconds >nd place, which was tied, ler of the event was 100-meter summer onze medalist Angel Martino. Wozniak d 14th in the 100-meter butterfly. r? put un no in 1 All regi HH a illwv as a reW who in. Jill k \ An ex compU *F uf SE I l LE A C arnation l\/l PE SSj/ wc SteaL., ] USBa y dUL Choice / E vioeye \ lbi \ \^ FREE t> SAMPLES v Drive ^ rth in national m Wozniak defeated all opponents as a jur competing in dual meets in the 50-meter The 1992 Olympic Trials participant in freestyle was also named South Carolin valuable swimmer. "* Wozniak believes the team will be suc< accomplishing their goals this fall. "I think we wilf really .have a good team, very talented people on the team," she said. South Carolina's women's swimmin Kelly Parker-Medlin, also received the dist: being named to the National Coaches List is a pool of coaches from which the U.S. coaches are selected. FUECPMECOCI 11 llliij. Mandatory W< gistered Studen stered student organization ] >udget and renewal worksho ;istered organization and to 1 y funds in the 1992-93 scho attend a Treasurer's Worksh purchasing source docume >rkshops will be held Ballroom on the f< Thursday, September 3 Tuesday, September 8 Wednesday, September 9 Monday, September 14 Wednesday, September 16 :ecutive officer must attent *te a registration form by F *For more information on re or more information on treasure PE CEN LOCKER iRVICES( DOW T'S MA HANGE! Center Locker ni tm?' /n t t Lne ft center s aam mid like to invite all I staff to participate i ffectiveness Survey in improving the qu room ser Vhere: Sol E. B Ahen: August 1 Get football tickets now cct By TIM THORSEN Sports Editor Any student wishing to attend ieest> e. ^ Qeorgja f00tball game must . meter pick their ticket up in Room 203 of the Russell House today . . between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. Today is the final day that the . free student tickets will be distribWe have uted, and distribution for the first two days has been lower than last S?>ach- year. ' The Georgia game has been sold N c lsl out, and the only way to get a ticket is to pick up your student ticket. Drkshops For t Organizations presidents & treasurers must >p to continue to be recognized be eligible to receive student ol year. Only those officers op will be eligible to sign nts for their student in the Russell House blowing dates: 4-5p.m. Greek Groups Only! 3:30-5p.m. 3:30-5p.m. 3:30-5p.m. J* 3:30-5p.m. d a renewal workshop and riday, September 18, 1992 gistration, call 777-5780 ir's workshops, call 777-2654 i [TER ROOM 30TCHA m. t 0* ^L fim ^r" | Mm Room Survey: ^ inistrative staff students, faculty, n a Locker Room 11 Vi^l TV VV 11XV11 VV XXX XXV^XJ^ ality _ itt PE Center 27 - September 18