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CAR Wednesday, June 17, 1992 Changing times expanc the important role JL of today's bustling and diapering ... pva p p e r LAds By OCTAVIA WRIGHT Carolina Life Editor Father's Day is on the way. And, another array of odd ties are begin ning to flood the closet as a way to celebrate that parental Figure ol male origin. n... 1 J ? ? " out, now uu must pcopie aenne uie iauier s rote/ In the '50s, the father was the primary breadwinner and he ofter came in after work, ate his dinner and paid the bills. Today, he's los his role as sole breadwinner and has become a commodity in lamazc classes, diaper changing and discipline enforcement. Dr. Thomas Smith, USC Sociology professor said, "(The father's role) is changing. There's been an increase in men's emotional involvement with their wives and children in the past 20 to 30 years." Because of this change, ".. the father's role is more important thar it ever was. There's probably been an increase in the past couple ol years as far as the father rearing children, then they used to do in the past," he said. USC Psychology professor, Dr. Randall Engle, agrees. "As females work more outside (of the household), the father's role has increased greatly." However, the increase in the amount of women working outside ol the home has welcomed an increase in the amount of young women who have decided to raise a baby on their own. The number of single mothers has increased in the past 25 years, according to Smith. Research has proven that children who grow up without their fathers often experience disciplinary problems. "There is a significant difference between fathers present and those who are not. Studies, for the most part, indicate that children (who grow up with only their mother, on the average) have more behavioral problems than those in two parent homes ? both in and out of school." Engle agrees that children are generally better off in a two parent home. "But, I also think that a loving single parent can do the job." "The women I know made the choice (to become a single mother), but most women don't make that choice. It's harder for ambitious wo men to meet men who are not going to make them change their lifestyle, (rather than vice versa)." On the other hand, approximately 10 percent of children are curratify being rased by a single father, Smith said. "(In these cases), there has been some research that indicates that fathers do have some rua wSfSalt?m0ther'y r?le)' eVe" lh0U?h fato is But Engle, himself a father, feels that this is changing and fathers are Things to Think About... It is estimated that 15 million , adults holding jobs are functionally illiterate. STREETS WANTED: 1 Staff Writers who are interested in writing human interest stories for the Carolina Life section, including movie and concert reviews, professor profiles, summer activity stories and much, much more. For more information, please call Octavia Wright at (W): 777-3913 or (H): 544-0073. Thanks in advance. i OLINA I ffM 111 &m | ^ - |jj| fwllMli l^^HBS wMwmmm MS? B iMr' : IJ ; J j- II & j J % ^ HgR^mSM^B^KCMI.i^Shm s MwM M ?& & JB J? iv J IS I S S | I Jay King/The GanecocK ; Cindy Yezzi, a USC-Sumter student, looks for the perfect tie for ; her dad. . becoming more and more affectionate with their children as they form I their emotional bonds with them. "I changed the diapers of my kids and got up in the middle of the night with them probably more than their mother," he said. And while comparing the differences between single fathers and mothers he noted that, "Fathers are probably better with maintaining discipline. Single mothers are not good with maintaining discipline. Children must learn this in order to have self-discipline." Why the difference? "In our culture, the father is frequently seen as the disciplinarian," he said. "I think it is easier for men to get outside emotional support than it is for single women. Thus, the woman often depends on her children for her support while the men have other male friends for theirs." But in today's changing times, Engle believes that men are losing their tough disciplinary edge as they become more of a social provider. "It's forced us to get in touch with our feminine side. It allows me to be more nurturant and affectionate with my children. I'm glad of it," he said. As for men who don't act in their role as fathers, Smith feels that, "there is something lacking in the men for not participating in those families." But as the times continue to change, there grows a continuous hope for the future of fathering. "I'd like to see them be more even in being the parent role, with the fathers becoming more of an emotional provider and stable force in the family network." >jy >> '4V ** * *^? 15* Wings All Day Sun & Mon. Until 10 pm Tues. Fri Open Mon. Fri. 4pm 4am Sat 4pm - 2am Sun. 6pm 2am Every Thursday-Free Acoustic -No Cover 724 Harden St. (behind China Garden) 256-1390 5 ,IFE Do you fi ,hin8ss 1. As long as you live in this ho you'll live by our rules. 2. We'e not lost! I'm just not sui where we are. 3. A little work never hurt anyo 4. I'm gonna stop the car and nc an inch until you two stop fight and shut up! 5. How many times do I have tc 6. If you act like a baby, I'll trez a baby. 7. When I was your age, we did any (or we did ). 8. Who said life was fair? 9. When I say no, I mean no! 10. You're going to sit there anc dinner. I don't care if you sit the Taken from Dads Say The Dumbest Things! B; Meadowbrook Press D umh m discussed By OCTAVIA WRIGHT Carolina Life Editor Yeah, so Dads Say the Dumbest Things, what else is new? Well, this statement may seem true, but it often is(n't) .. at least to Bruce Lansky, co-author, of the book. He received his inspiration after he noticed his wife, Vicki, a columnist for Family Circle, "use colorful, verbal motherly expressions." "My dad used a lot of expressions on me and I started noticing the difference between what Mom said and what my wife said." For example, he noticed most dads wash their hands when Mom told them to. "Moms seem to remind us about table etiquette whereas dads remind us about the value of buck." Sadly, despite all of the "dumb" sayings, they seem to be unendessly recyclable from generation to generation. "Every kid swears he won't use idiomatic expressions, but he usually winds up saying the same dumb things as a parent or an older individual as your parents said, which may be dumb to a teen-ager at that moment, "he said. Another inspiration for Lansky's may have been to write his book stems from his children's behavior. "I remember going to the movies with my children when they were younger and they (wouldn't sit near me). They would embarf assingly monitor me." He even noted this behavior at ; the recent college graduation of his 22-year old son, Doug. But, Lansky expects it to wane as his son becomes more independent as he enters the "real" world. MCKlf Wl studen* ^ Warehouse 0eat the He with Studei \ every MONDA H SPAGHETTI W Students, facul wno bring USC ID will receive $ We're local Corner of Gadsdei /^T 256-5 / HAMfTOH r i r~7\ * LU uor g j s- / \ ciivAjs sum Serving Fast Lunches, Delicious Dinner an 3_ say the same dumb our dad did? Your dad You use, e ne! )t drive ing ) tell you? it you like In't have J 1 Ant tinur ^ a vat j uui g jre all night 1 1 Bruce Lansky and K.L. Jones, yings in book "As you grow up, you become more independent and more of a reflection of being yourself rather than being under dad's shadow," he said. On the other hand, Lansky has a relative who he says has graduated to "father emeritus", since his children don't take money or consult him anymore. However, Lansky personally thinks it's "fun to be the advisor". But at the same time, "parents must recognize their goal, which is to have children let go. Most of the time, it's a push-pull dynamic and parents can't let go." One of the chapters of the bode called 'Empty Nest' discusses dad's role with children in their college years. It consists of some of the following sayings that are said by parents when they talk with their college kids, "Seriously, is everything o.k.?", "Your mother tried to call you last night", "How come you never call?". According to Lansky, these sayings prove that parents are still holding on. And, in most cases, the dad is asking about the child's future when the mom is concerned about sending care packages. Other fatherly sayings are also examined by Lansky within his book. "If vou huv the book, for a uifL you can laugh at the silly things and/or disagree at some things or you can talk about some things that are really hurtful and be aware of expressions that you won't repeat" His book Dads Say the Dumbest Thingsis $6 and is currently available in bodes tores. Lansky's next book? How to Embarass Your Kids Without even Trying, due out soon. raw" r NIGHT ^at of Summer nt Night, ,Y NIGHT at AREHOUSE. ty and staff in their 1.00 OFF their meal ed on the i & Lady Streets 252 i^\ d Memorable Parties Daily. Free Parking.