The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, June 17, 1992, Page 3, Image 3
CAR
Wednesday, June 17, 1992
Changing times expanc
the important role
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of today's bustling
and diapering ...
pva p p e r
LAds
By OCTAVIA WRIGHT
Carolina Life Editor
Father's Day is on the way. And, another array of odd ties are begin
ning to flood the closet as a way to celebrate that parental Figure ol
male origin.
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out, now uu must pcopie aenne uie iauier s rote/
In the '50s, the father was the primary breadwinner and he ofter
came in after work, ate his dinner and paid the bills. Today, he's los
his role as sole breadwinner and has become a commodity in lamazc
classes, diaper changing and discipline enforcement.
Dr. Thomas Smith, USC Sociology professor said, "(The father's
role) is changing. There's been an increase in men's emotional involvement
with their wives and children in the past 20 to 30 years."
Because of this change, ".. the father's role is more important thar
it ever was. There's probably been an increase in the past couple ol
years as far as the father rearing children, then they used to do in the
past," he said.
USC Psychology professor, Dr. Randall Engle, agrees. "As females
work more outside (of the household), the father's role has increased
greatly."
However, the increase in the amount of women working outside ol
the home has welcomed an increase in the amount of young women
who have decided to raise a baby on their own. The number of single
mothers has increased in the past 25 years, according to Smith.
Research has proven that children who grow up without their fathers
often experience disciplinary problems. "There is a significant difference
between fathers present and those who are not. Studies, for the
most part, indicate that children (who grow up with only their mother,
on the average) have more behavioral problems than those in two parent
homes ? both in and out of school."
Engle agrees that children are generally better off in a two parent
home. "But, I also think that a loving single parent can do the job."
"The women I know made the choice (to become a single mother),
but most women don't make that choice. It's harder for ambitious wo
men to meet men who are not going to make them change their lifestyle,
(rather than vice versa)."
On the other hand, approximately 10 percent of children are curratify
being rased by a single father, Smith said. "(In these cases),
there has been some research that indicates that fathers do have some
rua wSfSalt?m0ther'y r?le)' eVe" lh0U?h fato is
But Engle, himself a father, feels that this is changing and fathers are
Things to Think About...
It is estimated that 15 million
, adults holding jobs are
functionally illiterate.
STREETS
WANTED:
1 Staff Writers who are interested in
writing human interest stories for the
Carolina Life section, including movie
and concert reviews, professor profiles,
summer activity stories and much, much
more.
For more information, please call Octavia Wright at (W):
777-3913 or (H): 544-0073. Thanks in advance.
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I Jay King/The GanecocK
; Cindy Yezzi, a USC-Sumter student, looks for the perfect tie for
; her dad.
. becoming more and more affectionate with their children as they form
I their emotional bonds with them.
"I changed the diapers of my kids and got up in the middle of the
night with them probably more than their mother," he said.
And while comparing the differences between single fathers and
mothers he noted that, "Fathers are probably better with maintaining
discipline. Single mothers are not good with maintaining discipline.
Children must learn this in order to have self-discipline."
Why the difference? "In our culture, the father is frequently seen as
the disciplinarian," he said. "I think it is easier for men to get outside
emotional support than it is for single women. Thus, the woman often
depends on her children for her support while the men have other male
friends for theirs."
But in today's changing times, Engle believes that men are losing
their tough disciplinary edge as they become more of a social provider.
"It's forced us to get in touch with our feminine side. It allows me to
be more nurturant and affectionate with my children. I'm glad of it," he
said.
As for men who don't act in their role as fathers, Smith feels that,
"there is something lacking in the men for not participating in those
families."
But as the times continue to change, there grows a continuous hope
for the future of fathering. "I'd like to see them be more even in being
the parent role, with the fathers becoming more of an emotional provider
and stable force in the family network."
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5
,IFE
Do you
fi ,hin8ss
1. As long as you live in this ho
you'll live by our rules.
2. We'e not lost! I'm just not sui
where we are.
3. A little work never hurt anyo
4. I'm gonna stop the car and nc
an inch until you two stop fight
and shut up!
5. How many times do I have tc
6. If you act like a baby, I'll trez
a baby.
7. When I was your age, we did
any (or we did ).
8. Who said life was fair?
9. When I say no, I mean no!
10. You're going to sit there anc
dinner. I don't care if you sit the
Taken from Dads Say The Dumbest Things! B;
Meadowbrook Press
D umh m
discussed
By OCTAVIA WRIGHT
Carolina Life Editor
Yeah, so Dads Say the Dumbest
Things, what else is new?
Well, this statement may seem
true, but it often is(n't) .. at least
to Bruce Lansky, co-author, of the
book.
He received his inspiration after
he noticed his wife, Vicki, a columnist
for Family Circle, "use colorful,
verbal motherly
expressions."
"My dad used a lot of expressions
on me and I started noticing
the difference between what Mom
said and what my wife said."
For example, he noticed most
dads wash their hands when Mom
told them to. "Moms seem to remind
us about table etiquette
whereas dads remind us about the
value of buck."
Sadly, despite all of the "dumb"
sayings, they seem to be unendessly
recyclable from generation
to generation.
"Every kid swears he won't use
idiomatic expressions, but he usually
winds up saying the same
dumb things as a parent or an
older individual as your parents
said, which may be dumb to a
teen-ager at that moment, "he said.
Another inspiration for Lansky's
may have been to write his book
stems from his children's behavior.
"I remember going to the movies
with my children when they
were younger and they (wouldn't
sit near me). They would embarf
assingly monitor me."
He even noted this behavior at
; the recent college graduation of his
22-year old son, Doug. But,
Lansky expects it to wane as his
son becomes more independent as
he enters the "real" world.
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say the same dumb
our dad did?
Your dad You
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have J
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1 Bruce Lansky and K.L. Jones,
yings
in book
"As you grow up, you become
more independent and more of a
reflection of being yourself rather
than being under dad's shadow,"
he said.
On the other hand, Lansky has a
relative who he says has graduated
to "father emeritus", since his
children don't take money or consult
him anymore.
However, Lansky personally
thinks it's "fun to be the advisor".
But at the same time, "parents
must recognize their goal, which is
to have children let go. Most of
the time, it's a push-pull dynamic
and parents can't let go."
One of the chapters of the bode
called 'Empty Nest' discusses
dad's role with children in their
college years. It consists of some
of the following sayings that are
said by parents when they talk
with their college kids, "Seriously,
is everything o.k.?", "Your mother
tried to call you last night", "How
come you never call?".
According to Lansky, these sayings
prove that parents are still
holding on. And, in most cases, the
dad is asking about the child's future
when the mom is concerned
about sending care packages.
Other fatherly sayings are also
examined by Lansky within his
book.
"If vou huv the book, for a uifL
you can laugh at the silly things
and/or disagree at some things or
you can talk about some things
that are really hurtful and be aware
of expressions that you won't
repeat"
His book Dads Say the Dumbest
Thingsis $6 and is currently available
in bodes tores.
Lansky's next book? How to
Embarass Your Kids Without even
Trying, due out soon.
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