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Parental By SERENA HOLMES Staff Writer Roses are often red, violets frequently blue. A lover is usually your valentine, but parents can be too. Often on Valentine's Day, the brain cells dock in for overtime when processing^romantic thoughts. Using some of that energy to evaluate one's relationship with parents is the advice of Dr. Russell Haber, coordinator of training at USC's Counseling and Human Development Center. "Now that students have left the home, they can see the home in a different way, and perhaps see that the parents did the best job that they knew how to do," he said. Haber suggested even abusive parents cope the best way they know how to, and that, although students may not be able to forget wrongs done to them, they can take steps towards forgiveness. Negative aspects of a student's relationship with his parents can affect his relationship with the opposite sex. "I think that when we feel that we've come from 'bad seed,' then we feel that we need someone else to fill us up . . .to make us feel better," Haber said. If students can learn to love themselves and their parents, they can then experience healthy relationships. Otherwise, they can fall Designer Fragrances [ j: For Men & Women ? ? "personalized service ~ ~ "perfumes "colognes Z "lotions "eud de toilette Z ~j ?eud de parfume Z 31 "glass miniatures Z H "atomizers Z ! ' ** -I; over 90 designer lines represented Z ^ we order and stock your special requirements ] Dehon Designer Fragrances ? ] 717 Saluda Ave. (5 Points) ? 2 252-2307 E Pf ifY i r i i- i i-1 v i t t t i r l i frj imhbhh ? The Boulevard Hair & *j Tanning Salon's | VALENTINE SPECIAL!! I 7 Visits for $20 *1 (no fee per visit) 4 Men's Haircut and * $ style, $10 ? jj Women's haircut and Jj ? ~ style, $15 af < ! ^ 646 Sunset Blvd. ^ ? j W. Columbia Jj J 791-9931 3:,%, J love gr< in love in a much more dependent way, he said. ^ Coping with peer relationships a can be one of the many demands f on students as they make the transition from home life to college life. F Often, the roles which students played in their families determines how both they and their parents 1 cope with the transition, he said. e "The one which the family de- 1 pended on most, who might be r called a 'junior parent' can be hard ? to let go of and do without," he said. 11 An only child can also experi- e ence both negative and positive * consequences trom nis new status as a college student. v As they grow older, students F tend to deal with life using many of the coping strategies that their ^ parents used, Haber said. v A 1fkrtn/*U n nrt "i z1!' r\r* ri F rviuiuu^n a wuiuaii v^aii anu choose qualities found in both of her parents, Haber said it is the mother whose personality and vaules she emulates most Journalism junior Lisa Wheeler . credits her mother with being the greatest influence on her life. "She is the strongest person I . have ever met She has seen more, c done more and lived through more than anyone else I know," she said. u Haber said men are taught to se- h parate themselves from their fami- h lies and adopt values that focus on d self-reliance and self-confidence. 11 lad! vnu RE THI , 33= NO Bl V ABO' r 1 iHl i nqqnpi rfiLPwnoc jffl is The hc ' of the You're In For An EVENT-f BUIMS N' ROS JV Starting Febrt \ Finals Marc Jt J Each and Every Thui March at Saint* in 1-20 & Bush River I '^rx Sponsored by Laroux Schnapps, World. Gold's Gym, dws am Students from single-parent lomes use the parent as a model to i greater extent, regardless of the >arent's gender, he said. As students become more inde>endent, they need their parents' ove less, Haber said. Accounting senior Tammi rucker said she was independent even as a child. She said she is hankful her parents have always espected and encouraged her prowth. Sometimes, students can depend oo heavily on parents and become emotionally underdeveloped, laber said. ?T? 4.11 1 !4L -4 1 4. i ve laiKeu wiui some siuuenis vhose parents give them daily ihone calls," he said. Haber contrasted this example vith one in which he has spoken vith students who deny they have larents. He explained that these inlividuals are also emotionally leedy, often denying they have ny needs at all. The goal for both parents and tudents, Haber said, is to love hemselves and each other and inderstand respective faults. Stulents could also try remembering hat their parents were children >nce. "I think it's not enough to walk a someone's shoes to have a good nderstandine of them. You reallv ave to walk through their childood. My experience ... is that tieir present behaviors make a lot tore sense to me," he said. esl etu e judges!^ jtts ?= rit... buns 01 I COMPETITIOIM | J jttest-j Mttr J YEAR! Of -ULL Experience I \ iES NIGHT tary 14th h 28th sday In Feb. & ~T _ .1 Al * ine dneraion rw7 Rd. 731-0300 *HSPT Sarah Ann's Undercover and Saints long students II . 'm\ Lff'Mjrw w wt b w^m I X fSyE f jjmL - p - nBiH II 1 'TMIIP" Mmlwfflm^W8$ '- i i i j \ m *J ^^m mm ' ?m I 11 f liLifra^p a i Biology junior Diana Hayes (left) and her mother, who is a librarian at the South Caroliniana Library, talk by the bookshelves. ? FREE Volonfinp'e Dinner tAX V/XX VXXXV/ on Balfour. College Rings Order Your USC Ring from Balfour February 13th & 14th 10:00 - 4:00 University Bookstore and receive a $25.00 Gift Certificate when you place a $20.00 Deposit Balfour 1226 Pickens St. 254-5330 WW Deposit required