University of South Carolina Libraries
Viewpoint I Monday, December 7, 1987 THE GAMECOCK 3 jl?| AMY DELPO Editor in Chief j STEPHEN GUILFOYLE Copy Desk Chief 1 DC BRENDA BLYTH News Editor | BRAD FARRAR Viewpoint Editor <* ' bamecock TAMARA WILLIS Features Editor ! ; WAYNE WASHINGTON Sports Editor KEITH JONES Photography Editor ROBB LANE Graphics Editor ; PAULA WOJTOWICZ Beat Editor j I I Streak Columbia University's losses show good rule: academics first i Columbia University recently lost its final football game of the season. That's not so unusual. Even USC, with its outstanding year, lost its final regular season game to an exceedingly classless University of Miami team. But for Columbia, it was their 35th straight loss, a major-college record breaking the old mark held by Northwestern University. But, contrary to many reports, the world did not fall apart for the school. "I think deep down everybody wants to see them win, just for the sake of the graduating seniors who've gone out there every game, week after week, and worked very hard, but haven't won a single game," said Ron Gualario, a junior general studies major. "But it's not a tragic incident that our football team stinks." A The Chronicle of Higher Education report by Douglas Lederman says the students, faculty and staff have broken into three camps over the misfortunes of the football team. First, there are those who desperately want to see things change for the better and are looking forward to happier days. Next, there is a small faction of people who derive a great thrill out of the losing streak and would like to see it continue. In fact, these "fans" actively attend home games to cheer their team to defeat. And, finally, there is the large majority of people at the university who just don't care if their team wins or loses. Their decision to attend Columbia was based on the school's welldeserved academic reputation, not on the success or failure of the football team. The majority of people at Columbia University have their priorities straight. Performance in the classroom comes first. But when you have a solid academic environment combined with excellence on the playing fields, then you have the makings of a well-rounded, nationally known school ? a school that has it all. Notre Dame, Michigan, Stanford universities and many others come to mind. And this year more than ever, USC is ^ moving closer and closer to this category. Our football team, unlike the Columbia Lions, is having its most complete season and could win its first bowl game. This year will, in all likelihood, produce solid recruiting years in the future. Along with the outstanding soccer team and the fast start by the Gamecock basketball team, USC can make a legitimate claim to having one of the most complete athletic programs in the country ? a program everyone can be proud of. Most people at USC, like at Columbia University, place their education first. But we also are building an athletic tradition that provides spirit and a tangible sense of accomplishment missing from an otherwise excellent school such as Columbia. *NCW FOR THE HARP PART* > 1 ^ ?i 987 > > The Staffs BaMHMHBHHnHNHBHHnMHMHHnaMHMnBHBHHWHMn Assistant Copy Desk Chief Comics Fdilor Andy Bechtel Tracy Mixson Assistant News F.ditors Historian Todd Hines Hobby Jones j Jeff Shrewsbury Adviser Assistant Features Editor Hill Rogers f'irdous Bamji Acting Student Media Assistant Sports Editor Director/Advertising Manager Rae Leigh Margaret Michels Assistant Photography Editor Production Jonathan Williams Chuck Norris Datebook Editor Son Ha m Jenny Sharpe Assistant Advertising Manager Dawn Miller l*ltrr* Policy: ih* (wwwt will y lo print IctlfM rrc*l?rd. I ?tl?r? ihould be, al miilmim, 150 to 300 word* long (??< * editorial* ?houW not eir??d 54>0 *tx4t W# rmrtf lb? rigkf lo rdll kiltrt tof MyU or poulbfc Nttl. Th/ O*m*<o<k ?MI ao\ wltkhold win f (W(viitMa?rf. i ' UBf^ ^ru m Wait, the Gai OK, OK, I know USC lost to Miami Saturday night. And I know the Gamecocks will probably slip to the very bottom of the Top 10 if not below it. But have heart, because USC can still win the national championship. No, really. 1 mean it. We may not be able to win it on the football field, because USC is only 8-3 and Oklahoma and the rest of that motley bunch arc 11-0, but we can win it if a little misfortune comes their wav. OK, here's the scenario: Oklahoma beats Miami in the Orange Bowl. Florida State beats Nebraska, and Syracuse also wins. Then, it would look very grim for the Gamecocks, even though they'll win their bowl game by 17 touchdowns. It would look as if there were no way for them to win the national title, but wait. In a sudden and unprecendented announcement, the NCAA disqualifies every team ranked higher than USC in the polls for illegal drug use ? steroids, cocaine, crack, Nyquil and just about anything else they can find. The enforcement division under section 123.5 of the National Collegiate Manual of Good Behavior rules these teams are ineligible for their bowl games and are restricted from capturing a title. USC would win by default. And then the riots would begin. Helping Shah I was rereading Hamlet the other day, and 1 noticed that William Shakespeare, usually a master of developing good, thought-out characters, didn't make Hamlet realistic. So I decided to help the immortal Bard out and add a few things here and there to fill out Hamlet's character. The Problem: Hamlet was a college student, but nothing really proves that in the play. The Solution: Clip this column and insert it into the play. The first comes lute in the play. Hamlet: Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio, a man of infinite jest, able to skank on the babes like unto no other man mine eyes hath seen, and mine eyes hath seen some of the best. . . . And, better yet, we'll rework one of Hamlet's soliloquies. The one I'm thinking of wasn't very important to the play anyway. Hamlet: To be, or not to be, that is the question. Verily, my head doth pound, pound and pound yet again, as if there were a warrior with Satan's own hammer, pounding away inside my very skull. And, for all this pounding, there is no wisdom ripe to spring from my brow, like unto Athena from the Letters to thi ?| n -m subject. T Guilfoyle is ?1 wrong again Xtrie tant to w him to gi\ To the editor: an issue o Yes, once again someone is writing in angry protest to one of Stephen Guilfovle's editorials. Guilfovle was unhappy about the fact that Sen. Hob Dole, R-Kan., and Vice President George Bush, the two leading can- ?*VI didates for the Republican Party V'.ll nomination, came to Carolina foot- ? ball games. He seems to think neither ^ ^f ] i of these candidates came to Columbia to talk and exchange ideas. Docs Guilfoyle honestly think To the ct these two men flew to South Carolina The wi to see a football game? Docs he has been f honestly think that while these two States fo men were here they didn't speak on succeedei any politicial matters? If Guilfoyle national was truly aware of these candidates' supremel agendas, he would know they did to "pei have public engagements and they mailperst did speak to the people of Columbia ing count on important matters. I feel it was an jobs and honor that two nationally known this colu figures made time to attend one of female jc Carolina's football games. With t I find it rather ironic that Guilfoyle market e condemns the leaders of this univcrsi- these dii tv as heinu nartial to the Rcnublican assured i Party, especially considering he sang optimisti the praises of the Democratic Party fields wil throughout his article. But, for The worst part of Guilfoylc's arti- droves c clc was not the fact he came across as three-pie the pot calling the kettle black. Nor nieone is was it the fact he showed irresponsi- their ex ble journalism by not researching his them to 1 necocks could Joe Morrison would be carried around USC's locker room, deep in (he bowels of the Gator Bowl, and many a player with giant birds on their helmets would throw Gatorade on him and sing the alma mater. Todd Ellis would hug Sterling Sharpc. Kevin White would hug Danny Smith. And Roy Hart, the valiant noseguard who looks like a Coke machine with a head, would hug the offensive line. nri i ,i j : t? t i licit wuuiu paiiuciiiuiiium in v^oia i own, The entire country would be in a state of shock with the news that their beloved teams, some of which have players doing anti-drug commercials, have been found out to be drooling, sniveling substance abusers. Oh, the humanity of it all. Lespeare impro Stephen Guilfoyle * ? '*4 head of Zeus, as wise as she was terrible. And again doth the pounding come, and so do I wonder, whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of my outrageous headache, or take action and by opposing, end it. Verily, 1 doth have a headache this big, and it doth scream for a panacea. To be in pain, or not to be in pain, that is the question. How doth 1 spell relief? R-O-L-A-N-D, the doctor and his magic potions that doth heal. Ah. I do snv now mv old friend Horatio. He shall have kind words and a curc for this head of mine. Horatio: Hamlet. Mow doth thee do? ? editor he worst part was that he Or worse yet, so: :d about something so chauvinistic man migl why candidates should not (gasp!) open a door 01 ISC football games. If chair for them, has nothing more impor- But the biggest beef rite about, then 1 implore women's libbers seems t ic up his editorial space for sexist monster The Med r two to a guest editorialist. degrade every last femal by having a beautifu Tiffany Hoefer blonde sell them a diet i hnglish sophomore It seems to me that fei are behaving more out . than out of response ISIS9 sexual discrimination. l| As for the beautifu H ClOWn blondes, if she's willing for three hours a day grapefruit and carrot i litor: can maintain her mode mipn'i 11 hi-r :i t in n nnu/<?r tn lw?r I nrpf<?r i alive and well in the United chocolate cake, r a good long time. We've 1 in placing women in the And as for the diet c legislature, changing that bably buy it whether it 1 y offensive suffix of "man" bv Miss Perfection or son" (i.e. chairperson, some gullible guy out tl >n, foreperson) and supply- stock up on the stuff ju less women with prestigious likes the girl in the ad, w opportunities (Notice that too. He's not a loathes mn has been written by a watching sexist, he's ju mrnalist). So what's the proble hesc giant steps toward job- are claiming that if quality, you'd think women decides to degrade her lys would be pretty self- whether it be tasteful i ii their talents and potential, distasteful pornograf tally pursuing their chosen degrading womankind ; th confidence and charisma. Personally, I'd hate some reason, we've not inv imaae could be i )f women shaking in their anyone else but myseli ce suits, terrified that so- bad. The woman wh< ? going to kick them out of degrade herself does ecutive chair and demote degrade herself. The receptionist. debasement that might still be No. 1 I The teams would have to have an emergency ex- I : ccutivc session with their respective universities and discuss this terrible event. L^.: Barry Swit/.er of Oklahoma would have to retire pzi in disgrace. He and Nebraska head coach Tom ^ Osborne would move in together in a flophouse in pS Tulsa to avoid publicity, drinking cheap wine, singing the songs of old and telling all who would listen about the days when they were on top of the college \?.. football arena. Meanwhile back in Columbia, Joe Morrison would run lor governor, and the entire county jjlfi would be required to have garnet and black cars and sing the Low Brass Cheer before every working j And in a sad note, Danny l;ord would leave f l/.nuv.n ->.wl ...ill. U , fJ I . , fe\?;? v,iv.jinwii ?iivj imi^i tuv. iu v wiumi/iu v? 11 11 no ititiuijr and lawn furniture to beg Joe to give him a job ? any job. And out of the goodness of his heart, Gov. Morrison would let the country boy be the assistant to the director of the state Fertilizer Removal Department. And he'd even let him stay at his house, in the back, behind the garage, next to the lawn mower. As a wise man probably never said, "There's always hope." So as you can see, USC is still in it. There is always hope. But would USC really want to win that badly? ? ? ? Hell yeah! * XX 1 _ A* Hamlet: Ah, why dost thou scream and make my head pound all the more? I ; Horatio: Verily, I doth speak softly, old friend. p Hamlet: Truly, thou doth scream yet again. p Horatio: Didst thou go carousing once again last !' night, friend Hamlet? | Hamlet: And if I didst? Horatio: Let us go see the doctor. ? Hamlet .'Ungrateful varlet, thou dost yell again. B Get thee to a monastery. Horatio: And what need have I of a monk's habit. Thou shalt ne'er avenge the murder of thy father the king, in this sorry state. Hamlet: Verily, I ain't that bad. Horatio: Try to lie to someone who doth not know thee as well as 1 doth know thee. But until then, keep still thy tongue, and we shalt see what the doctor shalt say. Hamlet: Make sure, friend Horatio that we take a route so 1 shall not be seen by any courtier. If any alarums doth sound, it shall verily be the end of me, I doth fear. Horatio: Come then. Verily, friend Hamlet, thou art a wackv kid. Exeunt. No need to thank me Shakes, I'd do it for anybody. mmKmrnmrnammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmammmm inc terribly situation would involve patrons of tit oi ler to such obscene or degenerate material. r mi ill mil ri Anrl in ihp rate nf nnrnnor:inliu tli:il . )/%... WW. ? , ...V- ... IWV Vi. .v W, would be men, wouldn't it? of today's Womankind is safe. 0 be that the Hut the greatest danger in the poor ia is going to representation of women by the e in America media, libbers claim, lies in the 1 bikini-clad potential damage to the image of the cola on TV. career women. The ideal superminists today woman of the '80s can balance ..... 1 ,.u ;i.i a . ~ U1 {MltlNlMtl L(ll III , IIUMMIIU ctllU v, 111 111 I V. 11 , (11IU IU to legitimate expect any less of her would be blasphemous. When this image was just beginn,1 bikini-clad ing to take shape, pioneers of to work out women's liberation wanted to expand and live off on the traditional role of housewife sticks so she and mother and to let the world I body, more know that brilliant and capable cc cream and minds could exist behind pretty faces. But the emphasis lately has been almost to reduce the maternal ola, I'd pro- role to a position almost secondary to was endorsed that of career women. Just as they not. Now, if claim advertisers stereotype them as lerc wants to senseless sex objects, some feminists st because lie tend to stereotype the housewife as ell that's fine undignified and less important, ome, female- This need not be. A woman today st stupid. should be able to hold her head as she m? F eminists pursues a career or chooses to stav at one woman home with her children ? or both self on film, So loosen up a bit, girls! The world idvertising or is not out to gel you. Anti-feminine )hy, she is propaganda is not hidden between as a whole. every line printed by the mas media, to think that so stop looking so hard for it. The nfluenced by portrayal of any woman on TV has f ? good or no more to do with you as an in;> chooses to dividual than the person in the moon, exactly that, only other Caryn J. t'rahb occur in this Sophomore