The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, December 07, 1987, Page 3, Image 3
Viewpoint I
Monday, December 7, 1987 THE GAMECOCK 3 jl?|
AMY DELPO Editor in Chief j
STEPHEN GUILFOYLE Copy Desk Chief
1 DC BRENDA BLYTH News Editor
| BRAD FARRAR Viewpoint Editor
<* ' bamecock TAMARA WILLIS Features Editor !
; WAYNE WASHINGTON Sports Editor
KEITH JONES Photography Editor
ROBB LANE Graphics Editor ;
PAULA WOJTOWICZ Beat Editor j
I I
Streak
Columbia University's losses
show good rule: academics first
i
Columbia University recently lost its final football game of
the season. That's not so unusual. Even USC, with its outstanding
year, lost its final regular season game to an exceedingly
classless University of Miami team. But for Columbia, it was
their 35th straight loss, a major-college record breaking the old
mark held by Northwestern University. But, contrary to many
reports, the world did not fall apart for the school.
"I think deep down everybody wants to see them win, just for
the sake of the graduating seniors who've gone out there every
game, week after week, and worked very hard, but haven't won
a single game," said Ron Gualario, a junior general studies major.
"But it's not a tragic incident that our football team
stinks."
A The Chronicle of Higher Education report by Douglas
Lederman says the students, faculty and staff have broken into
three camps over the misfortunes of the football team. First,
there are those who desperately want to see things change for the
better and are looking forward to happier days.
Next, there is a small faction of people who derive a great
thrill out of the losing streak and would like to see it continue. In
fact, these "fans" actively attend home games to cheer their
team to defeat.
And, finally, there is the large majority of people at the
university who just don't care if their team wins or loses. Their
decision to attend Columbia was based on the school's welldeserved
academic reputation, not on the success or failure of
the football team.
The majority of people at Columbia University have their
priorities straight. Performance in the classroom comes first.
But when you have a solid academic environment combined
with excellence on the playing fields, then you have the makings
of a well-rounded, nationally known school ? a school that has
it all. Notre Dame, Michigan, Stanford universities and many
others come to mind. And this year more than ever, USC is
^ moving closer and closer to this category.
Our football team, unlike the Columbia Lions, is having its
most complete season and could win its first bowl game. This
year will, in all likelihood, produce solid recruiting years in the
future. Along with the outstanding soccer team and the fast start
by the Gamecock basketball team, USC can make a legitimate
claim to having one of the most complete athletic programs in
the country ? a program everyone can be proud of.
Most people at USC, like at Columbia University, place their
education first. But we also are building an athletic tradition
that provides spirit and a tangible sense of accomplishment
missing from an otherwise excellent school such as Columbia.
*NCW FOR THE HARP PART*
> 1 ^
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> > The Staffs
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Assistant Copy Desk Chief Comics Fdilor
Andy Bechtel Tracy Mixson
Assistant News F.ditors Historian
Todd Hines Hobby Jones
j Jeff Shrewsbury Adviser
Assistant Features Editor Hill Rogers
f'irdous Bamji Acting Student Media
Assistant Sports Editor Director/Advertising Manager
Rae Leigh Margaret Michels
Assistant Photography Editor Production
Jonathan Williams Chuck Norris
Datebook Editor Son Ha
m Jenny Sharpe Assistant Advertising Manager
Dawn Miller
l*ltrr* Policy: ih* (wwwt will y lo print IctlfM rrc*l?rd. I ?tl?r? ihould be, al miilmim, 150 to 300 word* long (??< *
editorial* ?houW not eir??d 54>0 *tx4t W# rmrtf lb? rigkf lo rdll kiltrt tof MyU or poulbfc Nttl. Th/ O*m*<o<k ?MI ao\ wltkhold
win f (W(viitMa?rf.
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Wait, the Gai
OK, OK, I know USC lost to Miami Saturday
night. And I know the Gamecocks will probably
slip to the very bottom of the Top 10 if not below
it.
But have heart, because USC can still win the national
championship.
No, really. 1 mean it.
We may not be able to win it on the football
field, because USC is only 8-3 and Oklahoma and
the rest of that motley bunch arc 11-0, but we can
win it if a little misfortune comes their wav.
OK, here's the scenario:
Oklahoma beats Miami in the Orange Bowl.
Florida State beats Nebraska, and Syracuse also
wins.
Then, it would look very grim for the
Gamecocks, even though they'll win their bowl
game by 17 touchdowns. It would look as if there
were no way for them to win the national title, but
wait.
In a sudden and unprecendented announcement,
the NCAA disqualifies every team ranked higher
than USC in the polls for illegal drug use ?
steroids, cocaine, crack, Nyquil and just about
anything else they can find.
The enforcement division under section 123.5 of
the National Collegiate Manual of Good Behavior
rules these teams are ineligible for their bowl games
and are restricted from capturing a title.
USC would win by default.
And then the riots would begin.
Helping Shah
I was rereading Hamlet the other day, and 1
noticed that William Shakespeare, usually a master
of developing good, thought-out characters, didn't
make Hamlet realistic.
So I decided to help the immortal Bard out and
add a few things here and there to fill out Hamlet's
character.
The Problem: Hamlet was a college student, but
nothing really proves that in the play.
The Solution: Clip this column and insert it into
the play. The first comes lute in the play.
Hamlet: Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him,
Horatio, a man of infinite jest, able to skank on
the babes like unto no other man mine eyes hath
seen, and mine eyes hath seen some of the
best. . . .
And, better yet, we'll rework one of Hamlet's
soliloquies. The one I'm thinking of wasn't very
important to the play anyway.
Hamlet: To be, or not to be, that is the question.
Verily, my head doth pound, pound and pound
yet again, as if there were a warrior with Satan's
own hammer, pounding away inside my very skull.
And, for all this pounding, there is no wisdom ripe
to spring from my brow, like unto Athena from the
Letters to thi
?| n -m subject. T
Guilfoyle is ?1
wrong again Xtrie
tant to w
him to gi\
To the editor: an issue o
Yes, once again someone is writing
in angry protest to one of Stephen
Guilfovle's editorials. Guilfovle was
unhappy about the fact that Sen. Hob
Dole, R-Kan., and Vice President
George Bush, the two leading can- ?*VI
didates for the Republican Party V'.ll
nomination, came to Carolina foot- ?
ball games. He seems to think neither ^ ^f ] i
of these candidates came to Columbia
to talk and exchange ideas.
Docs Guilfoyle honestly think To the ct
these two men flew to South Carolina The wi
to see a football game? Docs he has been
f honestly think that while these two States fo
men were here they didn't speak on succeedei
any politicial matters? If Guilfoyle national
was truly aware of these candidates' supremel
agendas, he would know they did to "pei
have public engagements and they mailperst
did speak to the people of Columbia ing count
on important matters. I feel it was an jobs and
honor that two nationally known this colu
figures made time to attend one of female jc
Carolina's football games. With t
I find it rather ironic that Guilfoyle market e
condemns the leaders of this univcrsi- these dii
tv as heinu nartial to the Rcnublican assured i
Party, especially considering he sang optimisti
the praises of the Democratic Party fields wil
throughout his article. But, for
The worst part of Guilfoylc's arti- droves c
clc was not the fact he came across as three-pie
the pot calling the kettle black. Nor nieone is
was it the fact he showed irresponsi- their ex
ble journalism by not researching his them to
1
necocks could
Joe Morrison would be carried around USC's
locker room, deep in (he bowels of the Gator Bowl,
and many a player with giant birds on their helmets
would throw Gatorade on him and sing the alma
mater.
Todd Ellis would hug Sterling Sharpc.
Kevin White would hug Danny Smith.
And Roy Hart, the valiant noseguard who looks
like a Coke machine with a head, would hug the offensive
line.
nri i ,i j : t? t
i licit wuuiu paiiuciiiuiiium in v^oia i own,
The entire country would be in a state of shock
with the news that their beloved teams, some of
which have players doing anti-drug commercials,
have been found out to be drooling, sniveling
substance abusers.
Oh, the humanity of it all.
Lespeare impro
Stephen
Guilfoyle * ?
'*4
head of Zeus, as wise as she was terrible.
And again doth the pounding come, and so do I
wonder, whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and
arrows of my outrageous headache, or take action
and by opposing, end it.
Verily, 1 doth have a headache this big, and it
doth scream for a panacea.
To be in pain, or not to be in pain, that is the
question. How doth 1 spell relief? R-O-L-A-N-D,
the doctor and his magic potions that doth heal.
Ah. I do snv now mv old friend Horatio. He
shall have kind words and a curc for this head of
mine.
Horatio: Hamlet. Mow doth thee do?
? editor
he worst part was that he Or worse yet, so:
:d about something so chauvinistic man migl
why candidates should not (gasp!) open a door 01
ISC football games. If chair for them,
has nothing more impor- But the biggest beef
rite about, then 1 implore women's libbers seems t
ic up his editorial space for sexist monster The Med
r two to a guest editorialist. degrade every last femal
by having a beautifu
Tiffany Hoefer blonde sell them a diet i
hnglish sophomore It seems to me that fei
are behaving more out
. than out of response
ISIS9 sexual discrimination.
l| As for the beautifu
H ClOWn blondes, if she's willing
for three hours a day
grapefruit and carrot i
litor: can maintain her mode
mipn'i 11 hi-r :i t in n nnu/<?r tn lw?r I nrpf<?r i
alive and well in the United chocolate cake,
r a good long time. We've
1 in placing women in the And as for the diet c
legislature, changing that bably buy it whether it 1
y offensive suffix of "man" bv Miss Perfection or
son" (i.e. chairperson, some gullible guy out tl
>n, foreperson) and supply- stock up on the stuff ju
less women with prestigious likes the girl in the ad, w
opportunities (Notice that too. He's not a loathes
mn has been written by a watching sexist, he's ju
mrnalist). So what's the proble
hesc giant steps toward job- are claiming that if
quality, you'd think women decides to degrade her
lys would be pretty self- whether it be tasteful i
ii their talents and potential, distasteful pornograf
tally pursuing their chosen degrading womankind ;
th confidence and charisma. Personally, I'd hate
some reason, we've not inv imaae could be i
)f women shaking in their anyone else but myseli
ce suits, terrified that so- bad. The woman wh<
? going to kick them out of degrade herself does
ecutive chair and demote degrade herself. The
receptionist. debasement that might
still be No. 1 I
The teams would have to have an emergency ex- I :
ccutivc session with their respective universities and
discuss this terrible event. L^.:
Barry Swit/.er of Oklahoma would have to retire pzi
in disgrace. He and Nebraska head coach Tom ^ Osborne
would move in together in a flophouse in pS
Tulsa to avoid publicity, drinking cheap wine, singing
the songs of old and telling all who would listen
about the days when they were on top of the college \?..
football arena.
Meanwhile back in Columbia, Joe Morrison
would run lor governor, and the entire county jjlfi
would be required to have garnet and black cars
and sing the Low Brass Cheer before every working j
And in a sad note, Danny l;ord would leave
f l/.nuv.n ->.wl ...ill. U , fJ I . , fe\?;?
v,iv.jinwii ?iivj imi^i tuv. iu v wiumi/iu v? 11 11 no ititiuijr
and lawn furniture to beg Joe to give him a job ?
any job.
And out of the goodness of his heart, Gov. Morrison
would let the country boy be the assistant to
the director of the state Fertilizer Removal Department.
And he'd even let him stay at his house, in
the back, behind the garage, next to the lawn
mower.
As a wise man probably never said, "There's
always hope."
So as you can see, USC is still in it. There is
always hope. But would USC really want to win
that badly? ? ? ?
Hell yeah!
* XX 1 _ A*
Hamlet: Ah, why dost thou scream and make my
head pound all the more? I ;
Horatio: Verily, I doth speak softly, old friend. p
Hamlet: Truly, thou doth scream yet again. p
Horatio: Didst thou go carousing once again last !'
night, friend Hamlet? |
Hamlet: And if I didst?
Horatio: Let us go see the doctor. ?
Hamlet .'Ungrateful varlet, thou dost yell again. B
Get thee to a monastery.
Horatio: And what need have I of a monk's habit.
Thou shalt ne'er avenge the murder of thy father
the king, in this sorry state.
Hamlet: Verily, I ain't that bad.
Horatio: Try to lie to someone who doth not know
thee as well as 1 doth know thee. But until then,
keep still thy tongue, and we shalt see what the doctor
shalt say.
Hamlet: Make sure, friend Horatio that we take a
route so 1 shall not be seen by any courtier. If any
alarums doth sound, it shall verily be the end of
me, I doth fear.
Horatio: Come then. Verily, friend Hamlet, thou
art a wackv kid.
Exeunt.
No need to thank me Shakes, I'd do it for
anybody.
mmKmrnmrnammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmammmm
inc terribly situation would involve patrons of
tit oi ler to such obscene or degenerate material.
r mi ill mil ri Anrl in ihp rate nf nnrnnor:inliu tli:il
. )/%... WW. ? , ...V- ... IWV Vi. .v W,
would be men, wouldn't it?
of today's Womankind is safe.
0 be that the Hut the greatest danger in the poor
ia is going to representation of women by the
e in America media, libbers claim, lies in the
1 bikini-clad potential damage to the image of the
cola on TV. career women. The ideal superminists
today woman of the '80s can balance
..... 1 ,.u ;i.i a . ~
U1 {MltlNlMtl L(ll III , IIUMMIIU ctllU v, 111 111 I V. 11 , (11IU IU
to legitimate expect any less of her would be
blasphemous.
When this image was just beginn,1
bikini-clad ing to take shape, pioneers of
to work out women's liberation wanted to expand
and live off on the traditional role of housewife
sticks so she and mother and to let the world
I body, more know that brilliant and capable
cc cream and minds could exist behind pretty
faces. But the emphasis lately has
been almost to reduce the maternal
ola, I'd pro- role to a position almost secondary to
was endorsed that of career women. Just as they
not. Now, if claim advertisers stereotype them as
lerc wants to senseless sex objects, some feminists
st because lie tend to stereotype the housewife as
ell that's fine undignified and less important,
ome, female- This need not be. A woman today
st stupid. should be able to hold her head as she
m? F eminists pursues a career or chooses to stav at
one woman home with her children ? or both
self on film, So loosen up a bit, girls! The world
idvertising or is not out to gel you. Anti-feminine
)hy, she is propaganda is not hidden between
as a whole. every line printed by the mas media,
to think that so stop looking so hard for it. The
nfluenced by portrayal of any woman on TV has
f ? good or no more to do with you as an in;>
chooses to dividual than the person in the moon,
exactly that,
only other Caryn J. t'rahb
occur in this Sophomore