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'Take me out It's oft been said Washington,D.C.,is a political three-ringed circus with the executive, legislative and judicial branches. The greatest show on earth it isn 7. Hut sometimes it looks more like a competition, and the American people are the ones who usually lose in the end. Considering that unique approach and reflecting on the past few months, Washington looks like a baseball game, l.et's go to the video tape. . . It's a fine day in the ballpark today. The White House Presidents and the Washington Senators are out on the field warming up. Jimmy Mossburger and Vin Solly arc doing the play-by-play of this great match-up. "Jimmy, the Presidents look pretty good today after coming off a strong victory over the Middle Past Terrorguys. You either love the Presidents or you hate them." "Sure do,Pete, and they had some heavy inside pitching that carried them through. The Senators might just come through,Hell, it's a game." Top of the third inning: "The Presidents still look good here. Bill 'The Pill* Casey sends one in, and it's a low fastball that just barely misses the batter,and manager Dan 'The Kane (Hawaiian for man)' Inouye charges the mound and Casey and utters some bitter words." Bottom of the third inning: "The Senators still seem a little steamed about that pitch, Jimmy." "Well, here's their chance to make up for it, mk\ u i Toyota presents "Sex on Cam pus." HAS SEX DROPPI OF COULEGI C.olk'ge Satellite Network takes a look under tire cove changing attitudes and concern over AIDS haw affect ^ sex life \oice your views in an interactive, live-via-sat discussion with celebrities and experts including actr Paul (Dragnet, Anx'rkan Flyers). l)r C Kvereti Koop, General and others. Wednesday IvllSScII 1 loi Nov. 18 3'"Floor Lo"'"; _ i 3 i f FREE 1^22 ;v V^ 7 V ^ f < V VkJ Uf (iAMKCOCK. The Student Media Depart- I I me lit is the parent organization of THK H ?| (iAMKCOCK. | j Change of address forms, subscription 1 requests and other correspondence should H he sent to THK (iAMKCOCK, Box 85131. g| VV Iniversitv of South Carolina. Columbia. | s.c. 29208. n nai Subscription rates are #18.00 for (1) H r year, # 10.00 per fali or spring semester and H ^ $4.00 for both summer sessions. Third H r~ class postage paid at Columbia, S.C. : THK (iAMKCOCK is a licensed student > j organization of the University of South [ ] Carolina and receives funding from stu- j ' dent activity fees. s- j ? I Garnet & Black 1 to the politics I Z=r 1 : Pete. Casey's at the bat. Anil he steps up, the pitch comes in and it's straight for his head. . . He's hit. He's down." "Ooo, that smarts. Poor Casey's not getting up. Looks like they're yoing to send Ollie 'The Pinch' North in to run for him, Jimmy." "Boy he can really shred those bases too, Pete." "There's a line drive to center hit by John 'Piper' Poindexter. North tears through second and heads for third. The ball fires in, and he's safe there." "Hoy, he can run like a man with a mission." "Sam 'Spam' Nunn checks the signs. He throws, and the catcher loses it. North comes in and scores safely." Top of the ninth: "Ron Reagan has coached a pretty good game I7> ?A A?7T~7\ 1? Monday-Thi O Friday ? M O Coupi Biscuits, Chicken, S r \ n PS n n r U? XL V ^ I THINK YO PREGIMAN cnnirr FIND 0UT Si# yy H A confidential pn M only minutes. Pla also provides cou rs to find out how GYN exams, lowfd tiK' stink'ni body's supplies and earl (ilitr panel ess Alexandra ffi? services. I S Surgeon CSN GIVE US A CA toyota _ Planned Par L'^L ESS IM of Central So, e ?? ?-? ? 2712 Middlobim j jgahgi Columbia. Souti > fiSQMB OCC A '.iilOuM MO<ViAM w?wC?? W a ? i GAMEC0)< A)D>VMTli? 777-424 gg ApilloN pRESENTb Eiviboss Art Tor nai 'e'll paint the drawing you choose on yc I, for fun or for an occasion, and it will >r weeks! We'll even do a painting of ocky for the Clemson/Carolina Game. Prices rancj e From $1.00 to S10.0C |.dependinq on drawinq. WiW 799,023 FOR HAIR W- r% T 4 LiA 'ortraits. Get you il ball game' up to this inning. He came in ami cleaned up the team stressing defense all the way. Right now he just wants to keep his players in iliac and healthy." "Robert 'The Bushman' Bork walks up to the plate. He's still kind of new since Reagan called him up from the minors a lew weeks ago. He's still tryi'ig to fill that ninth slot on the team." Joe 'Toefoot' Biden has come in ;is ,1 relief pitcher for the Senators. He has the highest balking '.ivnraa/* in flu* Ip.'Ioiip ?f,V III HIV "And Bork swings and strikes. Stiike two. foul tip. Crack. It's a conservative shot to the nyht, but first baseman Pat Leahy says nothing doing, and he's gone." "Pete, Reagan's going to call in another newcomer to the team, Douglas 'Wildman' Ginsburg. He swings at the tiist pitch, a tricky screw ball, and it's a smoker up the middle. I he se cond baseman Paul 'Tieman' Simon leaps up and nabs Ginsburg. He's out." "Okay, Jimmy, so it's two outs, and it looks like Reagan is calling in his pinch bittei Anthony 'Babyface' Kennedy. It's clutch time lor the Presidents here." And the game continues as we the people watch Washington slug it out in a test of will, power and guts. Next week, watch for the football match up of the year. The Presidential Candidates \. The News Media. OOP 0~5~ Q Q Q Q Q O LIVERS ! ro CAMPUS ~ u LL 765-9851 o irsday... 5:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. | 5:00 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. 10% Delivery Charge ! 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