The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, November 18, 1987, Page 5, Image 5
'Take me out
It's oft been said Washington,D.C.,is a political
three-ringed circus with the executive, legislative
and judicial branches. The greatest show on earth
it isn 7. Hut sometimes it looks more like a competition,
and the American people are the ones who
usually lose in the end.
Considering that unique approach and reflecting
on the past few months, Washington looks like a
baseball game, l.et's go to the video tape. . .
It's a fine day in the ballpark today. The White
House Presidents and the Washington Senators are
out on the field warming up. Jimmy Mossburger
and Vin Solly arc doing the play-by-play of this
great match-up.
"Jimmy, the Presidents look pretty good today
after coming off a strong victory over the Middle
Past Terrorguys. You either love the Presidents or
you hate them."
"Sure do,Pete, and they had some heavy inside
pitching that carried them through. The Senators
might just come through,Hell, it's a game."
Top of the third inning:
"The Presidents still look good here. Bill 'The
Pill* Casey sends one in, and it's a low fastball that
just barely misses the batter,and manager Dan 'The
Kane (Hawaiian for man)' Inouye charges the
mound and Casey and utters some bitter words."
Bottom of the third inning:
"The Senators still seem a little steamed about
that pitch, Jimmy."
"Well, here's their chance to make up for it,
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I Garnet & Black 1
to the politics
I Z=r 1 :
Pete. Casey's at the bat. Anil he steps up, the pitch
comes in and it's straight for his head. . . He's hit.
He's down."
"Ooo, that smarts. Poor Casey's not getting up.
Looks like they're yoing to send Ollie 'The Pinch'
North in to run for him, Jimmy."
"Boy he can really shred those bases too, Pete."
"There's a line drive to center hit by John
'Piper' Poindexter. North tears through second
and heads for third. The ball fires in, and he's safe
there."
"Hoy, he can run like a man with a mission."
"Sam 'Spam' Nunn checks the signs. He throws,
and the catcher loses it. North comes in and scores
safely."
Top of the ninth:
"Ron Reagan has coached a pretty good game
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up to this inning. He came in ami cleaned up the
team stressing defense all the way. Right now he
just wants to keep his players in iliac and
healthy."
"Robert 'The Bushman' Bork walks up to the
plate. He's still kind of new since Reagan called
him up from the minors a lew weeks ago. He's still
tryi'ig to fill that ninth slot on the team."
Joe 'Toefoot' Biden has come in ;is ,1 relief pitcher
for the Senators. He has the highest balking
'.ivnraa/* in flu* Ip.'Ioiip
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"And Bork swings and strikes. Stiike two. foul
tip. Crack. It's a conservative shot to the nyht, but
first baseman Pat Leahy says nothing doing, and
he's gone."
"Pete, Reagan's going to call in another
newcomer to the team, Douglas 'Wildman'
Ginsburg. He swings at the tiist pitch, a tricky
screw ball, and it's a smoker up the middle. I he se
cond baseman Paul 'Tieman' Simon leaps up and
nabs Ginsburg. He's out."
"Okay, Jimmy, so it's two outs, and it looks like
Reagan is calling in his pinch bittei Anthony
'Babyface' Kennedy. It's clutch time lor the
Presidents here."
And the game continues as we the people watch
Washington slug it out in a test of will, power and
guts.
Next week, watch for the football match up of
the year. The Presidential Candidates \. The News
Media.
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