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Fete 13 Here are a few courses to stay away from next semester. They'll do you no good except to create a sense of extreme hostility between you and your professor. BIOLOGY 677 Objectives : To make sure you know less about biology than you do now. Must have passed Biology 101,110, 231, 232, 279, 486 and be ready to work on a master thesis on " I ne complex Living Habitat of Bacterium on Mars." Books: "Biology - Man or Myth" - $9.79, "The Hydra Our Friend" - $15.90 and "The Comolete Hand Manual of Proto-organisms' $8.98. Tests: 19 quizzes on unrelated biology material worth one point each. The final 81 percent will be based on professor discretion. 'Passion "Passion," a one-act ant playwright Edward Bond, wi afternoon in Longstreet Theat A laboratory theater produc government in general, anc ticular," said Director Mich student from England. 14Thn rvlat/ 1 c a nnmin nvr\ln A 1*^ J/H4 J iO U V.VSIAIIV. *;ApiW said. The play centers around t courts - the queen, prime mir how their indulgences lead to bombings. Their activities fii "biggest" bomb, whereupon , the scene. There will only be one perfoi 5000CCCOOCC00000005 $ I flD { Cole 1 FiveTfi : I I One o Ilnclud H M ? Informc | | Brouq j | fl sple woocoooooosococoosc M&tekj Professor: Dr. William A. Jones (Slippery Rock '24). Will talk in monotone for 5C minutes with brief pauses to cough or wheeze. Is 87 years old, has lost his mind and has a 23-yearK)ld imbecile for a teaching assistant, who will grade the tests so that nobody makes over a "C." ARCHFOLOC.Y 343 Objectives: Discover the deep secrets of the past by watching archeology films dated at least 20 years old. Prerequisite: Must have the personality of a dishrag. Books: "Let's Dig Up Old Mummies' .59, "Excavations Can Be Fun" $55.25 < Complete 23-book volume > and "Archeology, Who Rea lly Cares" - $9.00. Tests: Five major examinations will combine to account for 20 percent of the grade. Eighty percent of the grade will he determined on the student's ability to stay awake during the 'today i-nuclear comedy by British ill be presented at 4 p.m. this er. t. ) "Pas^inn" ic "n nr I B. iish government in par acl Dyer, a theater graduate ration of the use of power," he he follies of the British roya lister and court magician - anc social injustice and aggressivt lally cause the dropping of th< Jesus Christ and Buddha entei rmance of the play. CGCCOSCOCOCCOCOOCCO! flYfiT >nial Cup trilling Race rhe $50,000 < A lii 4 A* kaj. wooitelile find Three Flat C f THE events es; transpor xtion and Si .. ,| httoyou by ndidtime is tooocosocoocoocooooe i >1 J III iiyilt . ? . ? showing of films. Professor: None. MATHEMATICS 200 Objectives: No objectives Books: To be determined by the professor after every Math book has been sold from all bookstores. Tests: Many, unannounced and impossible to pass. ..Professor: John Poindexter (Univ. of Guam '80), doesn't speak English, best pri game! Jewelry Blankets BWt Classes and More a a I Jewelry w I 2909 Piatt Springs F mm - uwnwn V.?n^t [ ] Delivery I b Sun -rhurs. iiiii 1-1 I "ri.-ScH ll?ii ! 30C I | DELIVERS ! | one couponp " |115AssemPly jj765-0815 5COCOOOCOCOOOOOOCCCOOC THE Rf Steeplech S: Colonial Cup Intei mortal Steeplech )ut Horse Races of the Seaso tation, parkit 9n Up atTrav Trips & Expe< guaranteed COCCC<KCCOCOOGCOCOCO? Helped create the abacus. ASTRONOMY 119 Objectives: To learn as much as one can before taking a unit test and then forgetting it all after the test is over. To learn how to keep your temper when an astronomy teaching clone marks your test, tells that you failed and laughs, while seated at a mile-high desk, looking down at you from a distance. Books: "I Wrote The Books," by John L. Safko $45.00, "The John L. Safko Story," by John L. Safko $29.99, "The Very Dull John L. Safko Handbook," by John L. Safko - $85.59. ICE5 UNI ^ COCK i License Tags p Belts [; Key Chains ind More.... it arehouse id., west Columbia Wfrovod?n? Artu [* | lours t! m-Midnighi |j n-2iun - \i] ncc m WI I fORDER | er customer | MM J IOCCCGCOCCCCOOOOCOCO ICES; ase Race r national Steeo r as? at n no andadm) (kl CAAtAf PI 0 ^0 ^ i P ^ i ' i Jitions i 11 Tor an 9COOCOOOOCOOOOOCOOO? Tests: Multiple Guess Questions, based loosely on I ? inctrilpti nn C lldllUUUUIV moti Sections of tests and questions will vary greatly. Complex rules on how to pass, when to pass and why, all listed in a new book, "What the Heck is This Course All About?" by John L. Safko - retail $9.50. Professor: John L. Safko (Baltimore Tech '34), a highranking official in the annuls of the Heavens. He is prone to stubborness, dry humor and wearing jackets and packets of different, wierd colors. ART 045 Objectives: Identification """'"r I TOP OF Champag B( Saturda OCOCOOOCCCC0006000COO M/w 1 i 1 W T I ' s, Camden lechase ission 4UU ill >COCOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOO< 4 of paintings, pictures, cartoons, sketches, match book cover drawings and assorted graffiti. Must have no previous art experience. Books: "The Peanuts Coloring Book," by Charles M. Schulz - $0.89. Supplies: 72 color box of Crayola Crayons. Tests: One page of the coloring book per week. One letter grade off for drawing outside the lines. Professor: Harry Picasso (Harry's School of Art '67) Has had experience in drawing on subways in every major city. me Brunch efore the gameV, Nov.15 I0:00am-1:00pm Buttet for two i $8.00 ' includes a glass of champagne et for one $3.50 loes not include j Liidmpdyut; i | ?ampagne$1.50 I Call 777-8198 for I Reservations I ??-V OOOOOCOCOOOOOOOOOOCX V 6th | 1S-C* I }j person j! H hi I k-?? i-g s russell house 5 8 moooooecooooocooooe)