University of South Carolina Libraries
Boosters Something which has USC students hooked like eager fish is called "Inflation Boosters," a number of ripoff coupons which cost students $20 and presumably save them $850. Here ,the true story details accounts of some of these "savings." One coupon allows for a free steak dinner at one of Columbia's fine local restaurants. The only catch is that the dinner, which consists of a scrumptious sirloin steak 1 V / 1 uiimer vun uun;, mree mashed potatoes and a plate of fried squash, must be eaten in less than three minutes. Further, the steak must be consumed while the customer does a tap dance on his table. The mashed notatnf"? must hp cirwvftrl I "V "'ft"-" through a straw, and the squash eaten off the floor. Everybody who uses these coupons must have some special personal characteristics. They have to stand between 5*8" and 5'9" tall if thev hannen tn hp malp anH between 6'10" and 7'2" if I j| i, ino/? JLV/ /U (offer i Fri. &Sat.)vs Student I D. on fill 1 r"? ^ 1 1111 1^ Caroline Hoi Lunch Mon. - hri. 1 Supper Mon.Thui Fri. - Sat. 5 [ HH Thi Ladie Free' Daily Hap 5 25CI I Coming | "zassof I 2H2Pevlne wdvia h ( female. The customer must be an Irish negro with German ancestory. In addition, the customer's grandfather should have served at least 17 years in the Spanish-American War and have been the company cook. Another of the "free" values is a no-cost lube job. Once the mechanic gets under your hood, however, he'll probably tear out every gauge, wire and belt he can get his hand on. What will your saving be then? Nothing. You'll be $600 in the hole,and might have to dish out snmp mnrp oash u/h?n you discover your brakes are gone as you car flies down Barnwell Street and into the Blossom Street tennis courts. It's ironic that the pet rocks one can receive, along with the toothbrushes, the hair ribbons, the shoelaces, the erasers and the ceramic ashtrays, would not make good prizes in a cheap bazaar grab-bag. Even worse, every value has a string attached, and that string is thread-bare, r^r7 ] apri s V talian w i r<Umi Si 7!?!t 77I OFF good 'ith Validated all menu prices .m. after the a Game urs I l:30a.m.-2 p.m. ] rs. 5 p.m.-io p.m. |j 3.m.-n p.m. j-j t no extra charge 3 Devine jrs. I s Nite I Wine I PV Hour 8 waft 116 & 17 TBoys" formally Michael H numb pfaifo waiting to drop a weight on any unsuspecting fool. When one of these "Inflation Booster" agents came to my door one night, I knew I should be wary of deals with a man in a polyester suit and a beige tie. He had on a pair of penny-loafers (pennies intact) and on his lapel he wore a smile button. I "I'm Marvin," he drooled, < "and have I a deal for you." ? I immediately slammed the door in his face while he < proceeded to crawl outside ] 1 ^~mmm. mm mm mm mm mm ? mm m, mm mm ~ ^ I I / I I I I r % i % i i i a i a a a a a J \ 1 wk ; s 'S ! * ? I <1) 8 *? > o 0) w o I : I I ro ; I i *8 !; -^Jj T3 I CD i C 5 CO <. 1 "5 ? O I -:V i a i a i i i i # i # i ? i ? i % t , V* B 1 up to my window. I knew I had problems the next day when he appeared in six of my classes and talked of "huge savings at bargain prices." I really started to sweat when I saw " mill a weeK later, same clothes, same smile button, driving an Edsel and waving at me. This time he had a speech about "free, free, free limited supply of extravagant gifts." Instead of giving in to the jerk, I directed him over to two of my friends, both of whose minds combine to make one. Many of the morons who bought the coupons used several approaches to solving their problem. Some commuted suicide, others carved obscenities on the free material. Still others If vou thi four Deer v nere % i / Probably just one b in 3 can pass tl y, ^ Wl ' All three major prerr |^| distinctly different in taste 1|| made by different brewei #P ingredients and different I j processes.Still.it takes a I] tongue to tell them apart 8 I I I I I I I I I You may not win, but ] I I I This test requires a b so your eyes won't influer i Because taste is all that c< l test, and in a beer. Here's works You pour Schlitz.Bi . into identical glasses. Hav I them 1.2 and 3 and switc Now, taste. The one you p | your beer, but it's the beei l you want I Sec? You can't lose. a What is that taste yoti I Maybe beer tastes sc ' you're really tasting each once. First, the lively, refre; of beer comes from the ai flavor of the hops. Next, as swallow, you sense the ric ness ? the body ? that bar malt adds. Finally, the finis Now the balance of tastes I becomes clear. No one ta: i should intrude on your to beer enjoyment gave them to members of their family for Christmas. All in all, the only thing one can save is the coupons themselves after the customer throws them in a closet with the other junk. Meanwhile, the "Inflation Boosters" agents are just about getting ready to start their trip around the world with the money they've earned Homecoming Does anybody really know , who's on the selection , committee for Homecoming Beast? The correct guess is | a total of twelve people. | Three are egghead j chemistry professors, two , are sadistic astronomy , inkyoticoul ylthyoureY syotirchan eer drinker lis test. How d and Mil That's fc Bay 8?B^L\ each beer frc r characteristic W&* fini<;hc>H trv/ Pj Vc fev Does the ti - years. One < lium beers are a?? a rnasU - /x ? . . C~lf: . Alter all. they re ociiuiger cai s using different president. A arewing smoother tfr oretty educated beer for you all about. "5 ^ roil can't lose. lindfold. That's g H ice your mouth ? >unts ? in this 2 how the test I jd and Miller : i i i a friend label h them around. _ w ick may not be ? ^8 e with the taste Place beers r 're tasting? Beer ,s? , . Beer #2 is good because bcc,?3,s_ sip more than assistants, one is an aged librarian, and two are Siamese twins who promote discos on the Russell House Patio. As far as the competition is concerned, the actual contestants range from demented sorority Sues to frustrated outcast actresses from the theater department. None have class, style or intelligence, but have one thing in common ? they are outstandingly mediocre. I don't really care which hog wins, as long as there's no jeering when the announcement is made. Instead, I expect broken bottles and explosives to be hurled at the winner. If this is not done, how can one expect to enjoy a fair competition? dpick es closed, ce. o Schlitz, Budweiser [er compare on taste? )r you to decide Simply rate )m 1 to 10 on the flavor :s below When you re o guess the brands by name n people can do this tste of a beer ever change? beers have chanded over the example is Schlitz. Two years ?r brewer named Frank me to Schlitz He came to be nd to brew a Schlitz that was lan any other beer. Taste that irself. Because taste is what it's ?er is # t> ? V = 5 g 5 S =s? ?| I I s 2| O CO -C 5 i I 8 ? f! I $ CO " v, o-i 00 j 8 numbers on each scale from 1 to 10 brand brand brand Schlitz uo/or it: ompany Milwaukee Wi