The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, October 10, 1980, Page Page 11, Image 11
Boosters
Something which has USC
students hooked like eager
fish is called "Inflation
Boosters," a number of ripoff
coupons which cost
students $20 and presumably
save them $850.
Here ,the true story details
accounts of some of these
"savings." One coupon
allows for a free steak dinner
at one of Columbia's fine
local restaurants. The only
catch is that the dinner,
which consists of a
scrumptious sirloin steak
1 V / 1
uiimer vun uun;, mree
mashed potatoes and a plate
of fried squash, must be
eaten in less than three
minutes. Further, the steak
must be consumed while the
customer does a tap dance
on his table. The mashed
notatnf"? must hp cirwvftrl
I "V "'ft"-"
through a straw, and the
squash eaten off the floor.
Everybody who uses these
coupons must have some
special personal characteristics.
They have to stand
between 5*8" and 5'9" tall if
thev hannen tn hp malp anH
between 6'10" and 7'2" if
I j| i,
ino/?
JLV/ /U
(offer
i Fri. &Sat.)vs
Student I D. on
fill 1 r"? ^
1 1111 1^
Caroline
Hoi
Lunch Mon. - hri. 1
Supper Mon.Thui
Fri. - Sat. 5 [
HH
Thi
Ladie
Free'
Daily Hap
5
25CI
I Coming
| "zassof
I 2H2Pevlne
wdvia h
(
female. The customer must
be an Irish negro with
German ancestory. In addition,
the customer's
grandfather should have
served at least 17 years in
the Spanish-American War
and have been the company
cook.
Another of the "free"
values is a no-cost lube job.
Once the mechanic gets
under your hood, however,
he'll probably tear out every
gauge, wire and belt he can
get his hand on. What will
your saving be then?
Nothing. You'll be $600 in the
hole,and might have to dish
out snmp mnrp oash u/h?n
you discover your brakes are
gone as you car flies down
Barnwell Street and into the
Blossom Street tennis
courts.
It's ironic that the pet
rocks one can receive, along
with the toothbrushes, the
hair ribbons, the shoelaces,
the erasers and the ceramic
ashtrays, would not make
good prizes in a cheap
bazaar grab-bag. Even
worse, every value has a
string attached, and that
string is thread-bare,
r^r7 ]
apri s V
talian w
i r<Umi Si 7!?!t 77I
OFF
good
'ith Validated
all menu prices
.m. after the
a Game
urs I
l:30a.m.-2 p.m. ]
rs. 5 p.m.-io p.m. |j
3.m.-n p.m. j-j
t no extra charge 3
Devine
jrs. I
s Nite I
Wine I
PV Hour
8
waft
116 & 17
TBoys"
formally Michael
H numb pfaifo
waiting to drop a weight on
any unsuspecting fool.
When one of these "Inflation
Booster" agents
came to my door one night, I
knew I should be wary of
deals with a man in a
polyester suit and a beige
tie. He had on a pair of
penny-loafers (pennies intact)
and on his lapel he
wore a smile button. I
"I'm Marvin," he drooled, <
"and have I a deal for you." ?
I immediately slammed the
door in his face while he <
proceeded to crawl outside ]
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up to my window.
I knew I had problems the
next day when he appeared
in six of my classes and
talked of "huge savings at
bargain prices." I really
started to sweat when I saw
"
mill a weeK later, same
clothes, same smile button,
driving an Edsel and waving
at me. This time he had a
speech about "free, free,
free limited supply of extravagant
gifts." Instead of
giving in to the jerk, I
directed him over to two of
my friends, both of whose
minds combine to make one.
Many of the morons who
bought the coupons used
several approaches to
solving their problem. Some
commuted suicide, others
carved obscenities on the
free material. Still others
If vou thi
four Deer v
nere
%
i
/
Probably just one b
in 3 can pass tl
y, ^ Wl '
All three major prerr
|^| distinctly different in taste
1|| made by different brewei
#P ingredients and different I
j processes.Still.it takes a
I] tongue to tell them apart
8
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I You may not win, but ]
I
I
I This test requires a b
so your eyes won't influer
i Because taste is all that c<
l test, and in a beer. Here's
works You pour Schlitz.Bi
. into identical glasses. Hav
I them 1.2 and 3 and switc
Now, taste. The one you p
| your beer, but it's the beei
l you want
I Sec? You can't lose.
a
What is that taste yoti
I Maybe beer tastes sc
' you're really tasting each
once. First, the lively, refre;
of beer comes from the ai
flavor of the hops. Next, as
swallow, you sense the ric
ness ? the body ? that bar
malt adds. Finally, the finis
Now the balance of tastes
I becomes clear. No one ta:
i should intrude on your to
beer enjoyment
gave them to members of
their family for Christmas.
All in all, the only thing
one can save is the coupons
themselves after the
customer throws them in a
closet with the other junk.
Meanwhile, the "Inflation
Boosters" agents are just
about getting ready to start
their trip around the world
with the money they've
earned
Homecoming
Does anybody really know ,
who's on the selection ,
committee for Homecoming
Beast? The correct guess is |
a total of twelve people. |
Three are egghead j
chemistry professors, two ,
are sadistic astronomy ,
inkyoticoul
ylthyoureY
syotirchan
eer drinker
lis test.
How d
and Mil
That's fc
Bay 8?B^L\ each beer frc
r characteristic
W&* fini<;hc>H trv/
Pj Vc fev
Does the ti
- years. One <
lium beers are a?? a rnasU
- /x ? . . C~lf:
. Alter all. they re ociiuiger cai
s using different president. A
arewing smoother tfr
oretty educated beer for you
all about.
"5 ^
roil can't lose.
lindfold. That's g H
ice your mouth ?
>unts ? in this 2
how the test I
jd and Miller : i i
i a friend label
h them around. _ w
ick may not be ? ^8 e
with the taste
Place beers r
're tasting? Beer ,s?
, . Beer #2 is
good because bcc,?3,s_
sip more than
assistants, one is an aged
librarian, and two are
Siamese twins who promote
discos on the Russell House
Patio.
As far as the competition
is concerned, the actual
contestants range from
demented sorority Sues to
frustrated outcast actresses
from the theater department.
None have class, style
or intelligence, but have one
thing in common ? they are
outstandingly mediocre.
I don't really care which
hog wins, as long as there's
no jeering when the announcement
is made. Instead,
I expect broken
bottles and explosives to be
hurled at the winner. If this
is not done, how can one
expect to enjoy a fair
competition?
dpick
es closed,
ce.
o Schlitz, Budweiser
[er compare on taste?
)r you to decide Simply rate
)m 1 to 10 on the flavor
:s below When you re
o guess the brands by name
n people can do this
tste of a beer ever change?
beers have chanded over the
example is Schlitz. Two years
?r brewer named Frank
me to Schlitz He came to be
nd to brew a Schlitz that was
lan any other beer. Taste that
irself. Because taste is what it's
?er is #
t> ? V
= 5 g 5 S =s?
?| I I s 2|
O CO -C 5
i I 8 ? f! I
$ CO " v, o-i 00 j
8
numbers on each scale from 1 to 10
brand
brand
brand
Schlitz
uo/or it:
ompany Milwaukee Wi