University of South Carolina Libraries
IT The Left , Hand j Satire by V 1 | Lenmai 1 Willi 1MB I IICBWMBaW?aM?BBgMWB?SHBB BULLETIN: Egyptian President Holder Anwar Sadat will visit the how w< University of South Carolina in look lil May, possibly to speak at "Ah, graduation ceremonies. He will be, muses, conducted on a tour of the campus there, by USC President James B. about y Holderman ... it'sawi student The pipe-smoking Middle like thf Eastern potentate extends a "Er cordial hand. "So nice to be here on Holder your lovely campus, Doctor," he ACC .. smiles. "Wh Sadat'! Holderman, beaming with pride, "Oh says, "The honor is all ours, Mr. acquisi President. I hope you, your lovely It's a < wife, your press corps and the "Wlv three major networks ? especially from t; the three major networks ? will "Oh, feel at home." s," Ho , for a g "Well, the camels roaming about ; "The in the streets do add an air of ! do the; familiarity." what I college "We stop at no lengths to be are 4cr hospitable, Mr. President." The I Wade Hampton shouts, WILD AND CRAZY GIT "What?" asks an a Sadat. "They're imitating a comedian." Holderman i B E j "He wears bunny ears J gL .a i y*\ arrow through his head.' air jm "I see," says Sadat. 4 .*- % M person is an idol of , Whatever happened to Be Ljrjp Shakespeare? Or me, ev nkd ^\\ "Well, the kids have i - jflfr j t Anwar," Holderman si L wouldn't mind being BL myself, but ..." The limousine passes seshoe. "Ah, this is my part of the campus," He gloats. "The Horseshoe 1 back to Civil War times. "Yes, it's very beautifu concedes. "Tell me, i Wll lOC mortar fire?" I Jl "Oh, that's just the he trying to get their rooms t gasHBMRmawaiauw?i South Carolina College are invading, fightinf . . , defensible homelan* man points to his left. "Note pseudointellectuals." J ve fixed up the coliseum to ke a pyramid." "Asituation I am all too VPQ r?/\l icm im " Cn/4ni u?l f V* " C o /4o f ni rtU o J , V..V vuiiouuiii, oaual wim, tiauai oigna. 1 cl1" "You hold athletic events offer a solution. Why d don't you? I was reading meet with the leaders of our basketball team. I think posing factions in a onderful idea, teaching your setting, miraculously sol 5 how to cope with failure conflict and ensuring youi it." second term?" ... yes, well," mumbles ?Yes yes that migh man, If we were in the Holdernftan envisions. "T L .... n? Bell Summit Conference! at is that building ? queries t idea, what a great 5 lovely wife. stunt!" that's our newest ition, the Wade Hampton. Sadat returns to the < dormitory." and gives the shortei y are those people hanging mencement address in th< he windows?" of USC: you know college studentlderman laughs. "Anything "Thank you, P ;ood time." Holderman, but after se iy enjoy multiple fractures, secluded, isolationist atn y?" Sadat says. "I suppose of your school, I've decide they say about American up politics and enroll here. ! students is true; they truly j to major in Physical E< azy and wild guys.'" Where do I go to join a f entire population of the The graduates give standing ovation. OB! nffivf* :>:'^| >^^ShSI^3BBB8^^^3 PPP|SBPP^P Get yourself in jonuai y M.M., 11 "THAT'S ^Sl!" stonished Rundgreil popular explains. and an promotional campaign, but I don't sc winning Rundgren a new following. I 'And this capture the energy they can't create theirs? with Rundgren, as his studio versi lethoven? immaculate. Rundgren is effective i en?" that his technical perfection is offset I changed, j have one finai minor complaint t< , star versions of songs that are clear an idol stevie Nicks or Hall and Oates. Th' clutter the compositions. "Hello It's the Hor- as close as the album comes to a boo-l favorite to cut out the big names and give the I )lderman , dating If you like Todd Rundgren, go out you already have. If you don't lik? hii The always-busy Toddler is curre 1, Sadat projects, including putting together ? .vhy the four albums by other artists (Patti Tom Robinson). He's also finished a 1)-raisers also a Utopia tour scheduled for the >ack. The Todd from becoming a household n students I for a & for I * familiar 4^ aps I can ^ \ ^ secluded ving the coliseum ^t^e-Lxxicm F* b history <^L?tauxa.nt W. c^cwinq ( > resident n n c Q\.. V 1 eing the JLunch ?r JlinncxV J nosphere i mon.- ri. m I expect fi also* sat*. m\ Jucation. dinner 6:00-8:00 'him a ^221 pickens st. it .Tirr. ii ii a ansnnnygrj Fitness & aerobic clinic For fTlen and Women ? -3MHB^':^HB&:n?>?* u*6*W. :'^?t^:::i>;::::^;:-> shape for the New Year and ip a complimentary workout ? St. (next to Old Sears) Di 15 mmmmmmmmmmammmmmuaaammmmmammammmmmmamm 77 ? v?Mnncv.uv.N ? rage y i i I age 7 >e the album as having a chance of Some artists use the live album to ! in the studio. Such is not the case ons are all crisp and technically n creating a mood in the studio so by a fresh spontaneity. ~ it1 *?:? ?n \j an . oiuc i vjin Luuiaina suiuc duly inferior. Hundgren doesn't need ey only serve as figureheads and Me," with all its all-star hoopla, is boo. Rundgren should have seen fit fans a better quality product. and buy Back to the Bars, unless m, don't buy it and prove me right, ntly engaged in a multitude of i new Utopia album and producing Smith, Meatloaf. The Tubes, and soundtrack to a cartoon. There is spring. Let's all unite and prevent ame. 1 mT ^ <zAfatu\aC ? I VooJ <?to\L , ' ) & \ rt . CT> ? ^ucce. JDax i MON.-SAT. I | 771-9353 J j ! I !. t HGHhI ittfl ;-" jj H ilt nlUtlltf?WP TM Spring, NOW. Please - only takes 30 min. itch Square Blvd. 772-2607 i