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The Lett Hand LT2 by Lehman Stiles I A PEEK AT THE SENATE j The door opens slightly, just a crack. A face peers through. "Stop or I'll shoot!" a voice screams. "Wait, Greg, it's me! Garry, the President!" "What's the password?" \ "Who cares?" "Eight, come on in." THE HARRIED young politico enters the room, weighted down by a huge annotated copy of Robert's Rules. He walks to the front and greets his sergeant-at-arms, who holsters the rubber-band gun and queries the new arrival. "What are you doing here? " he asks. "Well, I talked a quorum of senators into coming this afternoon for a session." "TALKED them Into coming?" "Um ... well, it did deplete the coffers a little.I had promised Bill free tickets to the UNC game ticket line. And Sandy wanted a secure future in return for her presence, so I fixed her up with a law student. This job isn't exactly what I had expected it to be." "I'm surprised you were able to get anybody to come," Greg said, "the weather being as nice as it is." "It took some convincing. John had planned to re-evaluate his career plans for the fourth straight year this afternoon. Susan was going to spend the day giving out discount couonna fnr hor _ ^ r ? m-mrm HWV? UV11 clinic. Dan was planning a pre-weekend intoxication, but I promised him the depressant of his choice if he'd come." SOON THE session begins. 'This meeting of the USC student Senate is hereby called to order. Now cut that out!" Garry yells at a couple in the back corner. "Absolutely no sexual activity during Senate meetings!" A stray Frisbee whizzes by his nose. A mustachioed presidential aspirant stands regally, commanding the attention of the four or five people in his immediate vicinity. "I'd like to make a motion!" he screams. He is barely heard over the T--. jacKson Browne on tne stereo. "Oh, what the heck, go ahead," Garry sighs, slumping into a nearby chair and signaling the peanut vendor. "I move that we all wear paper bags over our heads at Senate meetings. That way nobody will know who is degrading and slandering them, and we'll all be able to speak more openly." The motioner sits back down, obviously pleased with himself, and resumes his card game. "We have ... I said, we have a motion on the floor ..." Garry pulls out the bullhorn. "ALL RIGHT, FREEZE! THIS IS THE CAMPUS POLICE!" This desperate bid for attention nets him only a raucous 1M,.wU t(AU -1 A * * * " laugii. v/ii, ?iiui up, you power-nungry Macniavellian!" this from a small child who has wandered into the Senate chambers. SUDDENLY a wiry, bespectacled Honors student grabs the bullhorn. "The impactional rationalizations," he begins in| comprehensibly, "oversummate the formalized securities systematicallizations, evoking a mega-negavitory supraeffect on the hoveless stationeries." He is quietly shot. Just when, through threats of reprisals, Garry has managed to get most of the dancing stopped, a stocky football star stands and yells, "I MOVE WE ADJOURN TO THE BEACH!" Garry and his everfaithful o<** <*"-- * ?1 ? *'? 3 * uvi 5vau1.-a1.-a1 ma me uampicu as uie aoors spring open and a riot of sage lawmakers spills onto the quiet campus. A passerby remarks to his companion, "Those crazy frats! Another toga party." They proceed to the theatre to see "All the , President's Men." , IIIMim?irnntiMMni III ! imuimi IHHIW ! Ill Ill III! 11 III | ,,,, | 11111111 \WfMKt~ McGEORGE SCHOOL. OP LAW T TlXJ1',%717*?3CaTnn^L7' rWTU'IT* ^ ^ JHL jm. JLA-ul JL X IL^/JL*. Ji^ Accredited: American Bar Association j Member ? Association of / I American Law Schools L / SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA f \ May 1, 1979 is application deadline \ \ for first year students seeking L \ Juris Doctor degree in 3-year Day \ \ and 4-year Evening Program beginning \ \ in September 1979. Pre-Law Discussion FOR PROSPECTIVE STUDENTS DATE: TIME: PLACE: 10/25/78, 10:00-2:00, * FOR APPOINTMENT OR FURTHER INFORMATION tionsta but noi By Robert Patterson Oam*cock Staff Writer In 1975, Linda Ronstadt was hardly known as a great performer. Eighteen million albums and three years later, she is the reigning queen of rock. Ronstadt's songs are a collection of heartbreaks and tears which she passes on to her listeners. "Heart Like a Wheel" was a lovelorn masterpiece. Each album since thpn hoc Kcon n Kirt ? ?/ * ?1V%U MVV11 Q UXg OCUCi "SIMPLE DREAMS" was merely a try at expanding her music. The album, however, came nowhere near her others in quality. But great performers are allowed one foul-up. With "Living in the U.S.A.," Ronstadt is back on track. The album has some of the best vocals Dnnoto/li U ? ' ivuuomui. iias ever penormea ana also a couple of the weakest. "Back in the U.S.A." is the opening cut and gives the initial impression of a changed Linda r Ronstadt. Where are the tears? A 1 raunchy cut has come to her | heavenly vocal chords. Could it be that our queen has gone tomboy? Put those worries out of your head. The voice that fills the fantasies of many a young man returns with the second cut. "When I Grow Too Old to Dream" is one of the strongest songs on the album. Ronstadt's range and power are brought forth with a fury. Side one continues to amaze the listener with "Just One Look," in which Ronstadt shows again that she has a sexy voice. Something interesting happens near the end of the song ? if you listen closely, you See RONSTADT, page 12 % <? \ V ^ < "-P< y Co *1 IWool Hats J*&j Wool Shirts nil Wool Pants i Wool Gloves idt's latestgood, real masterpiece \ t, Sat. ' Monday ? All Beer 2 for 1 all nite ?p ?. - - luesaay ? Loaies Nife - Tree Champagne Wednesday ? All Mixed Drinks $1.50 all nite Thursday ? College Nite -10' Draft from 8:30 Until Friday ? We have All nite Disco to 5:00 AM Disco 6 Mites A Week m am ? ? ? nflmomunfl or. Airport Blvd.| \ J/}^) y?u can't Bear 1 1 another cold winter, \ f] JvM \ visit THE \ | J3\) 1 BACKPACKER for a | - V^r^rl look at snmp YA/arm I H \^clothes^ ^ ^ X ' I South Carolina's implete Wilderness Outfitter lie Down Jackets I viirrar^ff Down vests ft HI ikf Al BL F I r\r\r * WTTOBM VI l-^''? uu'"K rnmnMiiMiM.. Down Booties | ^ ^ ? Polarguard Garments ' >(4; \ s r ^ f; COiUMOlA S C .WOS 803 79Q 7S?> [ |