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~Mexico: Chuckle BY HARRY HOPE Dear Diary, Well, here we are in good old Acapulco, and Tom and I have just settled down in our hotel room at the beautiful Hotel de La Conquistador de los Virgins (whatever that. means). Tom decided that he wanted to go for a swim, but the minute he got his trunks on, there was a furious knocking at the door and I didn't believe it, and neither did Tom, but Jim Dickey walked in wearing an ermine swimsuit, Ho Chi Min sandals and that stupid black hat. He was carrying a bottle of Tequila and sucking a lemon through his overgrown throat. "Hey, Tom, good buddy, what y'all doin' down here? Huh?" Tom really looked disgusted, but Jim told him looka here. I just left the hallowed halls of USC. You know those archaeologists? Well, they found a set of false teeth which they swear up and down belong to Wade Hampton. Really." Tom just looked at him. Then he went into the john and came back out a little later wearing his bermuda shorts, flowered shirt and bowtie. He was really giving Jim the cold shoulder. so I decided to be sociable and asked him how he found us. "Well, funny thing, you know. I was hanging around the Pendleton Building yesterday just shootin' the breeze with Chuckles Witten, and he told me that you all were coming down here. Well, we decided that since it was a good afternoon for sailing, why old Commodore Witten and me would just jump in the old sailboat and take off. So here we are." Danforth I Scholarshi Dan for th Fellowship nominations, designed to give financial and personal suppor t to college seniors and graduate who plan to become college teachers, are now being made. Fellowships are open to all qualified persons under 35 years of age who have not undertaken any graduate work. The award is for o ne year and renewable un til degree completion or a maximum of four years' graduate study. Stipends are based on individual need but they may not exceed $2,025 per year for a single person or $2,200 for married students. The Graduate Record E xamination Aptitude Test in verbal and quantitative abilities are required. It is advisable that the applicant plan to take the GRE on Oct. 27 since candidate selection is assisted by having scores available. Candidates for appointments to the scholarships are restricted to those nominated by Liason Sun, Fun, and Tom Tom was aghast. "Do you mean to tell me that Chuckles Witten is here? Right here, with you and the Mexicans and everything?" Jim gave us the old grin and said "Yeah, but he's all right. I told him not to drink the water or smoke anything funny. Matter of fact, I left him a few blocks ago. He said he was going to buy a few trinkets to take back to the wife and kids." Tom gave me a wild-eyed look and said "We gotta go find him quick." So we all wandered out into the street and spent an hour look ing up and down every alleyway and honky-tonk we could find. At last Jim found Chuckles by the water sitting serenely by the beach eating a watermelon. Well1, when we got closer, we were flabbergasted. Because there was the vice-president for studen1 affairs at the University of South Carolina eating a watermelon, his toes planted firmly in the sand, anc his feet shackled in police chains "Hi. How y'all? Don't worry about me. I just got into the fiestae little too much." "How much?" asked Tom. "Well, they tell me that I was transporting peyote across the border. Hell, it was nothing bul Red Man chewing tobacco. Can' tell these people nothing Absolutely nothing." Tom whispered to me "ComE on" and told Jim and Chuckles tha we would be back in a minute. W( hurried back to the motel, packet our bags, and we are just about tc catch a plane for Morocco. I hopE Dickey doesn't find us there. All for now, Mary. Educationa pAval abI Officers (faculty member appointed by college presidents) ii accredited undergraduate college in the United States. E ach college may nominati from two to four candidates fron among its seniors and recen graduates who meet thi qualifications. Nominations clos4 Nov. 20. Liason Officer at USCi Vice-President C.H. Witten, Roonr 107, Pendleton Building, USC Columbia. - SALE 25% OFF INNER CITY GLA DRAQS 2016 GREEN STrREETI AT FIVE POINTS) Mitzi Repe Mitzi Repe Dear Mitzi Vivaldi, Is there any other way to get rid of a roach other than by eating it? Bernie Tung Dear Bernie, Have you called Orkin? Mitzi. Dear Mitzi Vivaldi, I have not had agirl friend for at least three months. Now my German Shepherd is really beginning to look good. What can I do? Yeast Infected. Dear Yeast, GAME Although The Gameco< students of the Universi is not an official publicati opinions expressed herei resent those of the univ or all the staff members Editor ................ Managing Editor ...... Advertising Manager Circulation Manager Staff Contributors St ats Hersel ats Hersell Have you called Orkin? Mitzi. Confidential to "FS" Who put the boom in the boo m-she-boom-she-boom;. who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong? Mitzi. Have a problem? Write Mitzi VivIdi c/o the Gamecock, Drawer A, USC. (And be sure to put the whole address--if you don't, Judging from former experience with campus mail, your problem may be heard by anyone in the Athletic Department, and that's not one of Mitzi's favorite hangouts.) COCK k is a publication of the ty of South Carolina, it on of the university. The m do not necessarily rep ersity, the sudent body of The Gamecock. Thomas Ansei Price II ......Betty Woodruff ..........Ed Terrio .......Larry Edmond ..........Bob Craft Terry Dugas Harry Hope David Simpson Marshall Swanson londay Nig] udent Spec *2.99 U.S. Choice Sirloin Choice of Potato Salad Bar / . 741 SA LUDA AVE.-- Fl Letters Assail Gutenberg, Hope Dear Editor: In reference to last Thursday's Gutenberg Experiment, I must confess that I was standing in the hall as Mr. Hope wrote the article which took shots at orientation counselors, the SGA, the Union and others. With me was an elderly woman who told me she was a great admirer of Hope's and adored his work. I then noticed Harry finish typing, get up and come into the hall. The senior citizen immediately asked Mr. Hope for his autograph. The reply she received was "Bug off, lady. I don't need you." She then struck Mr. Hope firmly between the eyes with a walking stick she was carrying. $o, for the first time in history, the fan hitthe shit. Sincerely, Scott Padgett To the Editor: Well! Look who can dish it out but can't take it! I always thought it a great quality of a satirist (or any other writer, for that matter) to be able to take criticism in stride. But, then again, maybe I've misjudged Mr. Hope's qualifications as a satirist. Oh, well. . .live and learn. Robert W. Ives 6t Reservations Please VE POINTS AROINiAA 29205n