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Vice President foi Dead ByCHARLESBEE Editor-in-chlef "Dr. Jones dislikes any pleasantness," remarked a s "that is why we have so mt around here - he doesn't anyone." The only suggestion we hav of some of that "deadwood, cellent place to start would b the Student Affairs Division According to the CARC MUNITY the Vice Presiden Affairs Is responsible for C coordinating all of the studen the University. One of his p tions is the development oi governing student affairs. - the student union, student go% intramural activities. Volun Residence Life, Counseling Relations, Dean for Student ) with non-academic phases of Charles H. Witten, vice pr q,Vnistrator in a very sensitiv dealing with the very way in w the emotional and physical we freedom and civil rights of stu styles of each and every Car The division as a whole has ministration-student relatior restructuring of personnel, a have been made to help sol students. Charles H. Witten is an adn many units of work under a Charles H. Witten is insensitiv Hor By ARTHUR HOPPE Columnist Monday - Anti--war protestors began lying down in front *of commute traffic today in an effort to keep Government workers from getting t- thi ffices i Washington. The seeming flaw in their plans to throw a monkey wrench into the bureaucratic machinery was immediately pointed out by the distinguished columnist, -James Reston. Writing from the scene, he noted - Efficiency Increases here in direct proportion to -the rate of absenteeism . .. Halving the work force doubles the~ work." Militant -Leader Abbie (Che) Hayden remained unperturbed, however. "I pledge that our tactics will bring the Government grIn ding to a halt," he said confidently. Tluesday - Demonstrators again uuianaged to block some routes Into Wd*iangton temporarily, but most Goverinn~ent workers managed to reach theif desks on time. In this hour of crisis, the Nation's civil servants -were obviously 'etermined to -show that no one :ould close down the Govetrment on which so many people - par Ilcudarly they and their families - depended. Mlnutiae. for excample. reported Stu~entAffirs wood" :BE personal un taff member, ich deadwood like to fire 'e is to get rid and an ex sat the top of LINA COM t for Student lirecting and t activities of Vice President fo rimary func E all policies le deals with Fernment, student welfare, stu teer Services, Health Servic Bureau, Assistant Dean kctivities and other offices diri student life report to him. esident for student affairs, I e area -- an area which formu hich students live. Policy that i being of students. Policy tha idents. Policy that has bearing olina student. done an excellent job in hun is, especially over the pa. sensitizing of staff and an h ve many of the problems wl inistrator who is capable of p given set of conditions. Un e to students. On the surface ti 0e ope: Se that 98.4 per cent of its -132,979 employees were on the job. The previous high for a nice day in May was e;. I per cent. Wednesday - As the demon strations continued, a new spirit of dedication swept thog Washington offices. Government workers, shouting, "We'll show them!" renounced coffee breaks, smashed water coolers and cut their lunch hours to -90 minutes. TIhe I)epartment *of Minutiae reported protidly that it had doubled its daily output of memos, st udies, reports, recommendations and evaluations. The White House was heartened by the arrival on the scene of several thousand clean-cut youths who ran car pools to get Govern ment workers to -their jobs, provided them with'- vitamin C tablets to ward off colds and of tered tree baby sitting to working mothers. Thursday - For the first time in history, job attendance hit 100 per cent. Moreover, determined workers in every department put in a full eight-hour day. Tlypical was the scene at the I)eaprtment of Minutiae. Mimeograph machines overheated. Staplers grew too hot to touch. At thousands of desks, .civi.srvaInts ;1labvoed ,franicaily, to xhinl the towering piles of paper Md stu direct contr giving and The very almost dem martial styli , conducting I the core ani Student Aff, As one adi from below conductive relations, bi diversified I 1. WITTEN If he Is ign r Student Affairs (as the case a tendency t year to Mik( do it this ye dent aid and "You ougi e, Dean for you. He wal for Campus Spears to go ?ctly.dealing recently. Mike Spez s a key ad. is to be con lates policy Presently determines GAMECOCI I effects the will appeor on the life- municatiotc recommend two Issues I anizing ad- student gov ot year. A Dnest effort i1ch plague As he stu the students our duty to p roducing so fortunately, It Is also c is may be a rights. ven da from their In baskets to their Out baskets. A somewhat garbled press releaise from the White House read: "President Mixon expressed complete etaoin shrdlu in the Governmint's- ability* to* whether this crocus." IFriday - No word has been received in :4 hours from the I)epartment or Minutiae. ~8The Div IIAIIItY IIOPE Prisoners of War are special people--to the government. Who else is such a valuable piece of propaganda? Who else can say Well, those dirty commies held me a prisoner for years." Etc; etc. Now, the president, the vice president, the various cabinet members, right on down the line to the little Young Republicans and the Young Americans for Freedom, are yelling that they are upset because the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese have taken these men prisoners. No what? We take prisoners too, don't we? Gee, we should. It beats My Lai. , JQ,Ippk , qqiptWql,f 1 powers that be 'andr those wishing dents i adiction, but he is a retired N carrying out orders. being of Charles H. Witten is I agogic. If he is crossed, he re L. He demands respect without < ersonal vendettas. Charles H. I the one job he should not be sirs. ninistrator in his division said, or parallel, only from above. nor is it contributive to g ?cause it is rigid, unyielding a >ersonalities and problems of ored (as the case has been with has been with this writer), Witt D discredit, pervert or underm it Spears, president of the studc ar to the GAMECOCK. it to be complimented when W ked around all last year sayl out of office," a member of t irs didn't put up with Witten dui iplimented for it. Charles H. Witten is attempti publicly censured or some a before the Student Board this afternoon to help initia ing that the funds of the paper )er week next fall. Just as he ernment, he wishes to manipu dent newspaper we will represi we will not be subject to contrc rotect and advance the welfare ur duty to inform students of i ys inil Newsmen attempting to -force entry said the doors appeared jammed by huge mounds of paper. T'he .scene was the same at all ot her Government agencies. At the White House, a worried -President attempted to call a meeting of the National Security Council. Unfortunately, the White House switchboard, overloaded by calls from busy subordinates, had long since blown a fuse. Gutenberg experini to b)e patted on the head by the powers that .be--like YAF) really get upset when the "enemy" does something that they're not sup posed to like attack our boys when t hev are smoking dope, or send a few rockets into some nice military dump full or unused boots and socks. Gee. Uncle Spiro, ir we are going to -wage war, why can't they? ft's only logical, racially speaking, that the South Viet namese would accept the North Vietnamese more readily than the line white guys from Big Brother America. I 'm not talking about the b)lack soldiers. What are they doing there, anyway? Just fighting . wor.aoutvy which.hasheld them - in second class--and lower 'ights avy Captain who is used to nherently authoritarian and tallates in a military court Jeserving it and is capable of Witten is a military man to in is the Vice President for 'Witten does not take orders " The military mind is not ood student-administration nd unable to cope with the students. this writer) or he is crossed en, with a warm feeling, has 1e. Witten tried to do this last ,nt body, and he has tried to itten puts the bad-mouth on nig the he couldn't wait for ie Student Affairs staff said ing his term of office and he Ing to have the editor of the ppropriate action taken. He of Publications and Com ite such action. He is also be cut to limit publication to 1 has wanted to manipulate ilate the GAMECOCK. ent the desires and needs of ol by the administration. It is of the student body. 3ny potential threat to their lay Monday - Few civil ser'Vants showed up for work today. There seemed little point. -Abbie (Che) Hayden, now clean shaven, crew cuti and wearing the Boy Scout unilorm he had donned to -direct the car pool operation, was asked how he'd managed to* bring the Government to -a standstill. Heck,' he said modestly, everybody reads .Iamnes Reston." (( 'tpyritt ('hrnicle Publshing ('i. 1971) tent cit izenship for three hundred years.' And then when the North'Viet namese decide to show some films oh those servicemen they have, we call it 'propaganda." What do you call it when the government uses these same men as a rallying point, in an excuse to fight a war? There is such a thing as American P'ropaganda, Aunt Martha. And while the POW's are waiting to -he pulled out or all this dtecation, remember \Who put them there to he captured in the I irst place. (,J Kdgar Hoover, pay close attention.) lI you can get us out of this mess, mdice Spiro. I won't doubt the inlinite -wisdom which leads this nat ion an.vmore. And if you'll keep -v'n- monflr shut," -UncleSpho - -- will he indehted tn you.