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"Whaddaya mean a haking foul?" A.P. Top Ten 1. UCLA 6. Duke 2. Michigan 7. Kansas 3. St. Joseph's 8. Providence 4. Vanderbilt 9. Bradley 5. Minnesota 10. USC ot etip11 to WU (By te author of "Rally Round the Flag, Boys!", "Dobie Gillis," etc.) THE BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS HAS FLOWN THE COOP Can education bring happiness? This is a question that in recent years has caused much lively debate and several hundred stabbings among Ameri can college professors. Some contend that if a student's in tellect is sufficiently aroused, happiness will automatically follow. Others say that to concentrate on the intellect and ignore the rest of the personality can only lead to misery. I myself favor the second view, and I offer in evidence the well-known case of Knut Fusco. Knut, a forestry major, never got anything less than a straight "A," was awarded his B.T. (Bachelor of Trees) in only two years, his M.S.B. (Master of Sap and Bark) in only three, and his D.B.C. (Doctor of Blight and Cutworms) in only four. Academic glory was his. His intellect was the envy of every intellect fan on campus. But was he happy? The an swer, alas, was no. Knut-he knew not why-was miser-. able; so miserable, in fact, that one day while walking across campus, he was suddenly so overcome with melan choly that he flung himself, weeping, upon the statue of the Founder. By and by, a liberal arts coed named Nikki Sigafoos came by with her Barby doll. She noted Knut's condition. "How come you're so unhappy, hey?" said Nikki. "Suppose you tell me, you dumb old liberal arts major," replied Knut peevishly. "All right, I will," said Nikki. "You are unhappy for two reasons. First, because you have been so busy stuffing your intellect that you have gone and starved your psyche. I've got nothing against learning, mind you, but a per son oughtn't to ne- 9 glect the pleasant, gentle amenities of life-the fun things. ". Have you, for in stance, ever been to a dance?" Knut shook his head. "Have you ever ".. and thento ajustice of the peace." watched a sunset? . Written a poem? Shaved with a Personna Stainless Steel Blade?" Knut shook his head. "Well, we'll fix that right now," said Nikki, and gave him a razor, a Personna Stainless Steel Blade, and a can of Burma Shave. Knut lathered with the Burma Shave and shaved with the Personna and for the first time in many long years he smiled. He smiled and then he laughed-peal after peal of reverberating joy. "Wow-dow!" he cried. "What a shave! Does Personna come in injector style, too?" "It does," said Nikki. "Gloriosky!I" cried Knut. "And does Burma Shave come in menthol, too?" "It does," said Nikki. "Huzzah!" cried Knut. "Now that I have found Personna and Burma Shave I will never have another unhappy day." "Hold!" said Nikki. "Personna and Burma Shave alone will not solve your problem-only half of it. Remember I said there were two things making you unhappy?" "Oh, yeah," said Knut. "What's the other one?" "How long have you had that bear trap on your foot?" said Nikki. "I stepped on it during a field trip in my freshman year," said Knut. "I keep meaning to have it taken off." "Allow me," said Nikki and removed it. "Land's sakes, what a relief!" said Knut, now totally happy, and took Nikki's hand and led her to a Personna vendor and then to a justice of the peace. Today Knut is a perfectly fulfilled man, both intellect wise and personalitywise. He lives in a charming split-level house with Nikki and their 17 children and he rises steadily in the forestry game. Only last month, in fact, he became Consultant on Sawdust to the American Butchers Guild, he was named an Honorary Sequoia by the park commis sioner of Las Vegas, and he published a best-selling book called I Was a Slippery Elm for the FBI. e ee,u.sw. T he makera of Personna* Stainless Steel Blades and Burma Shave* are pleased that Knut is ninally out of the woods-and so will you be If your goal la lux Mike Groi Will Be Si By RANDY LANEY Sports Writer The USC Freshman basketball squad has yet to lose a game but have already suffered what may prove to be their greatest loss of the season-the loss of pivotman Mike Grosso. Following Monday's 106-74 rout of N. Greenville Jr. College, Grosso sustained a wrist injury that will keep him out of action for six weeks. Big Mike, "The Face" to his teammates, was clos ing a window in the dressing room when his hand slipped and crashed Locke TERRY Now that the scene has changed to the basketball eourt (at. nkp' expense), the size of the Field House once again becomes the topic of conversation. "Better get there early, or you won't get in at all," is a familiar warning. One fellow planned to take food, a radio, and playing cards to a game, arriving hours early. It seems that everyone considers our hardwood home a pain in the neck -and seat-and a real shame. Oh, yes. it would be nice to arrive at game time and find room. And it would be nice to have a bit more freedom of movement once seated. But. . . . We started our imagination reeling (again?) and 'visions of glory danced in our head.' . . . According to reports, the new Memorial Hall is at least an other season away. Thus, what has been called the "snakepit" by visiting coaches might very well be the scene of our great awakening. (We tossed and turned a little Monday night.) Casi L.uxury has shirts are sir from wine tc OPEl FREE PARKIIb Street, with so Injures Idelined Si through the glass. A tendon controlling the lateral movement of his right hand was severed as well as the nerve feed ing the dorsal surface of the hand and little finger. The tendon was repaired, but only time will tell how quickly the nerve will regen erate. Trainer Jim Price added that prognosis for recovery is "very good," but the arm will be in a cast for about five weeks. Several dozen stitches were re quired to close the wound. Grosso is taking this setback in excellent fashion and is more than r Talk PRICE - . . So think of the possibilities for a legend: "After decades of mediocre play in the diminutive Field House, the burgeoning, battling Gamecocks began lur ing the nation's finest to snake pitiful defeat. Then, finally bursting the walls, they took the throne in a great new hall from which they built a dynasty." . . . Well, anyway, Gamecocks, do your best and Good Luck. Frosh center Mike Grosso has a couple of younger brothers-twins -back home in New Jersey. Fu ture stock ? . . . Our splendid spark plug, Jack Thompson, has a reserve talent. The sophomore guard can sing with the best of them. (lie likes a bass line, but can hit the high chords from the top of the key. How's that for a foulI line ? . . . National scene One year ago: The Cleveland Browns ran over the New York Giants 52-20 to clinch the NFL Fastern title. . . . Five years ago: Navy halfback Joe Bellino was awarded the Heisman Trophy as top college player. A CIF OF EECANC For Th mer ConnoiA Fondoor Themie at 1337 Main St. I MON. THRU FRI. 'TIL 9 iritton' IG at Allright Parking Lot, 1110 su rchmae Wrist; x Weeks eager to return to the line-up. The 6-8, 235-lb. center from Rari tan, N. J., expressed his attitude 'oward the mishap at practice 'uesday; "I'm all right now. I'm oing to work on my left-hand play and run some. My left's weak, and I have to stay in shape." Mike's importance in the line-up was expressed in the reactions of his teammates. Hank Martin, starting guard from Cardinal Newman in Columbia, said of the Monday night victory, "Wonder ful, until we got to the dressing room. It 's really terrible about Mike." Charlie Vacca, 6-4, 200-lb. for ward from New York has come off the bench since the opening game to hit nore than 20 points in each game. He summed up the feelings of the entire squad. "I was real glad to get the oppor tunity to play," he said, "and it's great playing with Grosso. You really miss a guy who rebounds and scores as he does." In the season opener with Chem strand, Mike got identical totals for points and rebounds-23; and in Monday's contest he pulled down 28 missed shots and scored 25 points-22 in the first half. The big man's shoes will be hard to fill (no pun intended), and the task will be left to 6-8, 210-lb. Clyde Lewellen from Fairview Ifigh in Dayton, Ohio. "Mike is not only the best I've ever played against," commented Lewellen, "he's the best I've ever zeen. Ile's second only, perhaps, to Lew Alcindor (UCLA frosh sensation), and his loss to us is like the Uclans losing Alcindor. Mike has great spirit and keeps Aro(ing when everyone else stops. I'll try to do what's he's done. If I can't, I'll have to compensate. Taking Mike's place is one thing loing the job he's been doing iE another." shmere polo lion of colors P.M. S Washintonn (G FOLLOW TE LEADER! Ca Th1omnpson go up for two bucketi guards amazed a capacity crowd and more than holding their owr date, Bob Verga and Steve Vacer USC Upsets (Continued jumper that made it 68-69 with 2:10 left and forced Blue Devi Coach Vic Bubas to call time oul to try to stem the stampeding 'Cocks. Each team then missed chances and Al Salvadori grabbed the games' key rebound, passed off t< Thom pson who once more threaded the Duke defense. thiq time to hit Salvadori underneath for the layup. Salvadori, foule< on the play by Duke's Bob Reidy stepped to the line, added the free hrow and put the Gamecocks out in front 71-69 with 52 seconds t< IJINTIRA-1 FRATERNITY FOOTBALL By MALCOLM FRANK On a date to be announced latei Kappa Sigma Kappa will sponso an All-Star game between th Fraternity All-Stars and the In dependent All-Stars. These team have been picked on the basis o ballots circulated by the Sport Dept. of The Gamecock and Kapp Sigma Kappa. Balloting was clos for most p)ositions, and man players received votes for mor than one po~sition. In the case of tie, the player receiving the great est total number of votes wa 'chosen, the other player receivinj Hionorable Mention. Here is th F"raternity line-up: Name Position Fraternit L.ang Foster (tie) End SN Tom Player PK Jim Meyers End AT' ttobby Northcult G;uard SN Ilaick (Christolilher G uard SN John Iteuer (enter P'K Itonmnie P'hillipa kiuarterback SN P>ickle Lester Hlaifback SC I 'uck Mathis Htalfback SN lIebfense Hill LaMotte Tcl A Il>oug t)ent Tcl T lielmar Rivers ide;iad S Ileniry Birens Lieaer S Bionahli (Chastain liutakr s .leff Stafford Libakr P Hilly HillSfey S Warren Simmington aey Thes p Tyer cwee seetdA: honraleMeTn:kJe Bel T P One mn Ltenhbyalke mikc God hig orL lickertPK ~IUSafetyIPK. anecock Staff Photo by Itockholz) rolina backcourt aee% Ilarlicka and that helped beat Duke. The USC by breaking Duke's fearsome press i against Duke's All-America candi dak. Duke rrom Page 1) play in the game. A Steve Vacendak basket tied it at 71 all and with 29 seconds left and amid a deafening roar USC called time. Coach McGuire then used the same play that beat N. C. State in 1957, one in which Thompson with three options on the play, drove to the basket and hit the open man, Frank Standard, with 17 seconds remaining, for the winning basket 73-71! Thompson and Standard added 17 apiece to the S. C. point total to trail larlicka's 19. Thompson also was credited with nine assists. IJRA-LS I and Bill Pollock, PiKA: Ed Lamb and Forbes Patterson, Sigma Nu; and Charley Peake, Kappa Sigma. r INDEPEN DENTS By TOMMY DAVIS Now that the Independent foot fiball season has drawn to a close, s it now becomes dutiful to recog nieth utstand(ing Independent perform1ers who excelled in the ~,int.ramural Sport. To the below All-Star performers go congrat Sulations. - Name I'osition Zone ratf Tackle 18 Tlaylor M 'ide G;uard 15 Watkins Taekle 15 NelonLnebacker 6 Whiton ieacker 5 sw-Ink inIebacker 5 Mirando Safety 15 Warford Safety T *offense lb lands (tie) End 5 Rabowskt 1g Faulkner Guard I wvest (Center 3 Zanzltis (;uard 5 T. Davis End 14 Partyka Halfhack 15 Moultrie Quarterback 5 Reitmoler Halfback 18 Jones 6 Honorable M e n t i o n :Bender, H~Iandback, Zone 14; Leardo, Fer guson, Zone 1; Berry, Zone 15; and Metz, Zone 5. This independent All-Star Team will meet the Fra iternity All-Star Squad this Wed nesday. 1/Women are Schizos uocolate the next dark chocolate. passortment.