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Tickh By SANDY "Darling," gushed the young swain ardently, "your eyes are so sparkling and bright that-well they make me dizzy." "Are you sure it's my eyes?" she inquired. The little old lady tried to con sole the heartbroken youngster. "Oh, come now," she urged him, "I wouldn't cry like that if I were you." "You can cry like you want to," he sobbed, "'cause I wanna cry my own way." Dentist: "You have acute pyor rhea." Patient: "Save the compliments for later, doc, and look at my teeth." Professor: "No, no, Miss Jones. It's 'all men are created equal,' not 'all men are made that way.' " Apparently no words were wasted in the old west. Either orally or in writing. A gravestone carried the following inscription: "He called Tom Brown a liar." Aunt: "James, I'm ashamed of you. Walking along the street half drunk!" James: "I'm sorry, Aunt Susan, but I ran out of money." The boss has reached the climax of his campaign to keep the office clean. He spied a smouldering ciga rette butt near a chair of one of USC Graduates Report To Duty With Air Force Eight former members of the university unit of the Air Force ROTC have received orders to re port for active duty. They have been assigned to Maxwell Field, Ala., for processing before report ing to their permanent stations. Reporting for active duty are 2nd Lt. Joseph B. Stringer, Yazoo City, Miss., who is assigned to Sandia Air Force Base at Albu querque, N. Mex.; 2nd Lt. James H. Wannamaker, Orangeburg, as signed to McDill AFB, Fla.; 2nd Lt. Charles H. Shealy, Rt. No. 1 Box 281, Columbia, Headquarters 9th Air Force, Pope AFB., N. C.; and 2nd Lt. Wayne L. Medlin, 43 Circle Street, Great Falls, assigned to Scott AFB., Ill. Also 2nd Lt. James A. Hicks, Rt. No. 3, Timmonsville, assigned to Brookley AFB., Ala.; 2nd Lt. James A. Harper, Rt. No. 3, Honea Path, assigned to Lackland AFB., Texas; 2nd Lt. Robert L. Dieter, 1136 Lullwater Rd., N.E. Atlanta, Ga., assigned to McDill AFB.; and 2nd Lt. Fred D. Morrison, 410 Main Street, Bennettsville, assigned to Lackland AFB. Law, Gradus Announce A With Testin The Educational Testing service at Princeton University has an nounced admission examinations for law schools and graduate schools will be given at various times during 1951 and 1952. Application forms for these ex ams may be obtained from the Edu cational Testing Service, P. 0. Box 692, Princeton, N. Y. For law school, the applicant must send a completed application at least ten days before the desired testing date and at least two weeks before time for graduate schools. The law school examination dates are November 17; February 23; April 26, and August 9, 1952. Ex ams for admission to graduate school will be given on Friday and Saturday, October 26 and 27 in COGBURN'! The Businessmen's Choice at A SATISFIED 181 aS.. Box RANFORD the workers and demanded if it was one of his. "No," said the worker, "you may have it." Dr. Turney-High, of the soci ology department, insists that a well-known English university held a debate on, "Resolved: That Columbus Went Too Far." An intoxicated gentleman asked a pedestrian, "I shay, which ish the other shide of the street?" "Why, over there," was the answer. "Strange. I was jus' over there an' a gen'l'm'n shaid it wash over here." "Too bad, old man!" "What is?" "I mean, I'm sorry to hear your wife ran away with the butler." "Oh, I was going to fire him, anyway." "Whenever I look at you, I'm re minded of a famous man," mur mured the coed. "You flatter me," said her boy friend. "Who was he?" "Darwin." Hotel page: "Telegram for Mr. Neidspondiavanci, Mr. Neidapondi avanci l" Mr. Neidspondiavanci: "What initials, please?" University Gives Outside Courses Throughout State The University is offering field :lass courses to students in 59 ex :ension division centers throughout ;he state, President Smith has an iounced. In most instances courses are l :aught by superintendents, prin yipals or teachers in public schools and are approved by the Dean of the School of Education of the Uni versity. ;Phe classes are given where sufficient demand arises. Education courses for under graduates include an Introduction to Education, Educational Psy chology and Materials of Instruc tion in the elementary school. Courses for juniors, seniors and graduates include Child Study, The El.cmentary School Program, The reaching of Reading, Teaching Science in the Elementary School, High School Administration, Ad ministration of Pupil Activities, History of Edue&tiua, General School Administration, Modern Methods in the Elementary School, Audio-Visual Education, Measure ment and Guidance in the High School, Mental Hygiene and Pupil Case-study. Other courses are taught in Art, Music and Health Hygiene. ite Schools dmission ; Service 1951 and February 1 and 2, May 2 and 3, and August 1 and 2 in 1952. Officials of ETS advise that not all law schools and graduate schools require students to take entrance tests. Also, a candidate must make separate application for admission to each law school. According to ETS the law school cannot be crammed for; it consists of objec tive questions measuring verbal aptitudes and reasoning ability rather than acquired information. For graduate school the test brings out general scholastic ability, tests of general achieve ment in six broad fields of under graduate study, and advanced level tests of achievement in various fields. Sample questions will he sent out for both examinations at request. GRILL andl College Boys' All Times CUSTOMER L.er Street Cardwell Names Field Secretary For University Miss Frances Cardwell of Co lumbia has been appointed field secretary of the university, Presi dent Smith has announced. A former member of the English department faculty and adminis trative staff at Columbia College, Miss Cardwell received her bache lor of arts degree from the univer sity in 1938 and her master of arts with a major in English in 1987. She has done advanced work at the University of North Carolina where she held an appointment as a graduate assistant from 1947 to 1949. Miss Cardwell is treasurer of the American Association of Univer sity Women. While attending the university she was a member of Alpha Kappa Gamma, women's honorary leadership fraternity and subsequently regional president. She is a recipient of the Algernon Sidney Sullivan award given an nually for service to the university. World History Recorded By Capitol Records In "Hark! The Years!" Capitol Records has created an album unique in the history of commer cial recording. This is a collection of voices and events recreating from actual sound tracks nearly a hundred years of history. Compiled from original cylinder discs, many of which were origin ally recorded by Thomas A. Edison himself, these clips are mounted on a commentary of the era narrated by Fredric March with the original music score composed and con iucted by Nathaniel Shilkret. It spans events beginning with he trumpeter blowing the bugle all that was sounded at Balaclava luring the Charge of the Light 3rigade in the 1854 Crimean War >attle and traces through the actual :ones of Big Ben ringing in the new century with the chimes playing "Auld Lang Syne" in London on December 31, 1899. Passing the turn of the century, voices of the great continue through the first world war period and up to the early thirties. A partial list of the voices heard in "Hark! The Years!" include Edison himself; the Great Com moner, William Jennings Bryan in an excerpt from his Crown of Thorns speech; Teddy Roosevelt; William Howard Taft; Eugene Debs; Woodrow Wilson, Henry Cabot Lodge. Famous theatrical and sports figures: the Floradora Sextette, Lillian Russell, Caruso (heard on his first record), Ray mond Hitchcock, DeWolf Hopper, Mine. Ernestine Schumann-Heink, Knute Rockne, Jack Dempsey, Bobby Jones, and Babe Ruth. Ad ditionally, colorful personalities who made the headlines in their times; W. C. Handy, Carrie Chap man Catt, Billy Sunday, Emile Coue, Gertrude Stein, Aimee Sem pIe MacPherson, Jimmy Walker, and Charles A. Lindbergh. "Our history professor talks to himself. Does yours ?" "Yes, but he doesn't realize it he thinks we are listening." "I've changed my mind." "Does it work any better ?" CANE Here's A 5 LADI ES' $14.95 1 There are three d of which will sati: need or desire. Air ROTC 1w Adds Flight Ta By WILLIAM D. HAY This fall marks the third year of existence for the Air ROTC unit at the university. In the beginning, thefe were three officers and three airmen. They undertook the task of training ninety-four cadets. Now, three years later, the unit has ex panded to include nine officers and ten airmen. The cadet corps con tains over six hundred students. Last year the unit offered com missions in administraition and lo gistics and armament. This, in ad dition to these specialized courses of study, training is being offered in the field of Flight Operation. This course is designed for those who expect to become pilots. Aside from normal classroom activity Air Science Cadets parti cipate in an extensive program of field trips extending to such places Mexican Program Gives Scholarships For 19 Students Nineteen fellowships for study in Mexico during the academic year beginning February 1952 are now open to U. S. graduate and under graduate students. Applications for these grants should be made im mediately to the Institute of Inter national Education, 2 West 45th Street, New York. The grants, which cover tuition plus a monthly living allowance, are offered by the Mexican Gov ernment through the Mexican United States Commission on Cul tural Co-operation. The fields in which awards are available are as follows: under graduate - physical anthropology, archeology, ethnology, Mexican History, architecture, philosophy and letters: graduate-physical an thropology, archaeology, ethnology, Mexican history, museography, painting, biological sciences, pedi atrics, tropical medicine, and cardi >Iogy. A few round-trip air travel rants between the Texas border nd Mexico City will be available, lso through the Institute of In ternational Education. Eligibility requirements include U. S. citizenship, knowledge of Spanish, good academic record, good health, and knowledge of the culture of the U. S. Encouraging applications from interested students, Mr. Kenneth Holland, President of the Institute, said that the fellowships are of fered as a gesture of good-will to the U.S. from Mexico. Applications, on forms to be se cured from the U. S. Student Pro gram of the Institute of Interna tional Education must be filed, with all supporting documents, not later than October 15, 1951. COED OFFICERS New officers of the Coed associa tion were installed last week at the association's first meeting of this semester. They are Helen Coggeshall of Darlington, president; Jeannette Dickson of Darlington, vice-presi dent; Joyce Woodell of Hollis, N. Y., secretary; and Anne Darsey of Columbia, treasurer. Question: What could be worse than a man without a country? Answer: A country without a man! Marriage is a mutual partner ship. The husband is the mute. peal . .. LUGGAGE o $21.95 ifferent sizes, any ify a yongn lnay' Anniversary, -aining Class as the Congaree Air Base and Shaw Field. During the field trips they acquire first-hand knowledge of practically every phase of Air Force, operation. Juniors and seniors take training flights at Shaw Field. A particular aspect which makes the Air Force training program unique among college subjects is that it gives active training to de velop leadership ability among the cadets. These students have com plete charge of the Cadet Corps. They are given courses in teaching methods which will prove invalu able in later life. Junior and senior cadets are paid ninety cents a day for their partici pation. Upon completion of the course and graduation they receive a Reserve Officers Commission in the United States Air Force. Babcock Prints. New Sports Book On Outdoor Life Another book by Dr. Havilah Babcock, head of the English de partment, will be published next month. Dr. Babcock's latest work is titled Tales of Quails and Such," And is being published in New York. It is a collection of outdoor stories and essays. The sportsman-professor-author has written nearly 200 stories and articles that have appeared in lead ing outdoor sports magazines dur ing the last 16 years. He has had a similar book, "My Health is Bet ter in November," published pre viously in addition to the word manual used in his popular English 129 course. He is now writing an English textbook. "Tales of Quails and Such" con tains 28 essays and stories based upon the author's hunting and fish ing experiences in South Carolina. It is illustrated by William Shal dach, nationally known outdoor artist. McMaster Authorized To Accept Application For Marine Program Major R. G. McMaster, U.S. Marine Corps, has been authorized by the Commandant of the Marine Corps to accept applications from college seniors interested in en rolling in the Marine Corps Officer Candidate program. College seniors who graduate after the first semes ter or in June 1952 are eligible. Interested students are requested to contact Major McMaster at Hamilton College. Candidates who are accepted will not be called into military service until after they have graduated and received their degrees. University Band Plays Marches In Opening Game The 45-piece University Band opened the season at the Duke. Carolina game playing march music throughout the game and marching at half time. In the drill the band formed the letters USC and played the Caro lina fight song, then formed a D and played the Duke Fight Song. Richard Zimmerman, band di rector, announced that the band this year is of a higher caliber of instrumentation than previously. Officers of the band are: Mar chant Lesley, president; J. T. Maudlin, vice-president; Heyward Moore, assistant conductor; Harriet Whisenhunt, secretary and drum major; Roy Moody, librarian; and Watson Murphy, property man ager. Buzz Saw Fills In As Period Ender For Stunned Class There may be a run on buzz saws. A university professor was lec turing on the necessity of law. He referred to our university and its rules and regulations in getting his idea over to his students. He leaned forward, pointed his finger, and said, to stress a point, "That bell's going to ring in a few minutes!" Across the campus a buzz saw rang out. The professor straightened up, "There it is now. Class dismissed." The puzzled students stood up, glanced at their watches (twenty three minutes till ten), and walked hesitantly from the room. The professor gathered his papers and books. He looked down at his watch and was heard to nutter, "Must get this thing fixed." Students! For the and Food, COLLEG COMPARE ( Breakfest - Plate (Meat and 4 Vege Steaks, .75 Up - San Complete Fou Special A La Serviug Carolina Sti 1015 Sumter smost modern . 8SLAC K leD' 1229MA eOLMnaa Guides Distribute To Ease Troubles _ In Library Work The university library has issnsd a guide in order that the facilltie of the various libraries ' on the campus may be used with greatw ease, President Norman M. Smith has announuoed. A twenty page pamphlet, the guide describes the procedure for obtaining books, magasines, Mal scripts and reference materia>, from the five university librarie,. Acrobat: "W h e r ei s t he trapese?" St. Peter: "You missed it, as, You missed it." "Takes guts td do this," s"id the little bug as he splashed agah*a the windshield. 3-Hour Dry Cleaning Service Press While You Wait 1-Day Dry Cleaning and Laundry Service ARROW CLEANERS 1209 Gervais Best in Service Visit the E SHOP OUR PRICES -.30 Up Lunch .tables) - .50 Up dwiches of All Types ntain Service Carte Orders dent. For 25 Yeoa Genuine Home Atmosphere IA. dO. c. y.