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G1 iVye The Plas after the Furman I game: Jack Morgan got the follow 4 ing telegram from his sister and his father (A Furman man) from Greenville: "Deep, sympathy, sobs, tem condolences, lamentations, big fowi teen, little seven.", To which the younger Morgan returned the following telegraphed rhyme: "Tears and bruises, Humiliation a plenty. Am seared to come home Carr you send twenty?" Jack won, anyway. -The Columbia Record The stadium during the last quarter:. "I hear the Chapel Hill game has been canceled." Friend: "You did? How aw ful." "We are going to play Coker instead." In front oZ Sims: Boy: "Got a date tonight?" Girl: "Noo-o-o." Boy: "Hope you get one." (dreamer) A young and comely hostess was passing out cocktails and tom ments and doing her level best to make everyone feel at ease. She smiled sweetly at a middle-aged guest and said, "I won't offer you a cocktail, Mr. SchInk, since you're the chairman of the Tem perance League." "No," he corrected, "I'm the president of the Anti-Vice League." She nodded, "Oh, yes, I knew there was something I shouldn't offer you." "Now gentlemen," said the presi dent of the Honey Child baby bottle company, "we have 50,000 of these feeAing bottles in stock, and it's up to you salesmen to create a de mand for them." Jim: Do you serve women at the bar? Mel: Nope, you have to bring your own. Cinderella: If I'm not back at midnight my beautiful coach and horses will turn into a pumpkin. Prince Charming: Oh, gourd! -Technology News A girl standing on the street cor ner and wearing a low V sweater, was approached by a wolf. He asked: "Is the V for vic tory?" She said: "No, that's for virtue ---but it's an old sweater." CNMI Up! There was a very young PiKA lodge who, upon answering the leeri hurried to the back -to con Ult spme actives. "Bir, there's a roman peddler at the door." "Well," said the active, "tell him Ve got plenty." * * * * * King Arthur: "I hear you're nisbehaving, knight." Knight: "In what manor, sire?" * * * * . Huchinmire: Terribly sorry you ouried your wife yesterday. Vandereleare: Had to. Dead, rou know. A friend was week-ending with kn Englishman and his wife. En Irely by accident, he happened ipon the Englishman's wife in her >ath. Making a hurried retreat, is sought 6ut the host and profer Ad an apology. The Englishman, who was reading at the moment, rought his head up out of his book and regarded his friend for a moment. "Skinny old thing, isn't she," he said. -The Blue Stocking 1st. sow: Heard from your boar friend? 2nd. sow: Yes, I got a litter from him. -The Enterprise I think I shall never view a girl so sweet as you. Indeed! the longer I gaze at ye the sweeter yet you seem to be. You're surely an eye sweet tease, and I surely shall have diabetes. -Anonymous In a little head one day a curious brain thought, "why are storks so shy?" Many days passed, still the query was sought and found by and by. And in a wiser head one day a wiser brain thought, "Oh! wasn't daddy sly!" -Anonymous Heighth of Conceit: Flea float ing down the river on his back shouting "raise the drawbridge!" -Anonymous A resolution banning drinking at football games was adopted by the student body of Carolina on Octo ber 13, 1937, just prior to the 35th annual game with Clemson. A proposal by the trustees in De cember of 1944 to move the USC campus to another site was vigor ously opposed by the student body. The IBM acconting machines installed at Carolina in February of 1946 greatly facilitated the pro eessing and release of semester grade reports. Webbs Art Store Artist Supplies--Shaeet Picture. Picture Frames Made to Order Photo Frame. -- Mirror. Portraits and Old Frames Worked Over PHONE 2-4940 Post Office Block 1209%j Gervale Street Columbia, S. C. mwu haMn *Prinsgle CASHMERES ... t.he finest sweaters in the whole world. Pringle label is exclusive with us. i t WUSC Radio Log MONDAY 7:00-Sign On - Five Minute Devotions - 7:05-Sunset Serenade 7:30-Here's to Veto 7:45-Guest Star 8:00-Buddy's Bop 8:80-T B A 9:00-Light Classics 9:80-Late News Summary 9:85-Evening Reverie 0:00-Sign Off - TUESDAY 7:00-Sign On - Five Minute Devotions 7:05-SunsetAerenade 7:80-Stewart's Hall 8:00-Stewart's Hall 8:30-There Is Music in the Air (Classical) 9:16-Harry James Show 9:30-Smoky Felder at the Pian< LO:00-Sign Off WEDNESDAY 7:00-Sign On - Five Minut< Devotions 7:05-Sunset Serenade 7:30-WUSC Presents 8:00-Adventures in Be-Bop 8:80-Campus Doings 8:85-T B A 9:00-Proudly We Hail 9:30-Late News Summary 9:36-Evening Reverie LO:00-Sign Off THURSDAY 7:00-Sign On - Five Minut< Devotions 7:05-Record Roundtable 7:30 -Stewart's Hall 8:00-Stewart's Hall 8:25-Bob Carpenter 8:30-There Is Music in the Ali (Classical) 9:15-Navy Band 9:30-Smoky Felder at the Piani 10:00-Sign Off FRIDAY 7:00-Sign On - Five Minutt Devotions 7:05-Sunset Serenade 7:30-Marine Band 7:45-Here's to Vets 8:00-Musically Yours 8:30-Record Revue 9:00-Light Classics 9:30-Late News Summary 1:3" Evi;ng Reverie 10:00-Sign Off SATURDAY 12:00-(PM) Sign On-Midnigh Jam Slam 2:00-Sign Off Three Instructors Return Following Work On Degrees Three former instructors havy returned to the English departmen from leaves of absence, and on, additional appointment to this de partment has been made. John R. Welsh, Miss Irene La Borde and Mrs. Douglas Carlisli have returned from work on Ph.D legrees and Mrs. Sarah McClaii raas been added to the departmen is part-time instructor. Mr. Welsn spent the last tw< rears at Vanderbilt University ii NTashville, Tenn. During this time de served as student teacher an< worked on a thesis on William Gil nore Simmis, noted South Caro ina author. Mr. Welsh graduated from th4 [Jniversity of the South at Se wanee, Tenn. and received his M.A legree at the University of Syra :use in New York. Miss Irene LaBorde received hel A.B. and M.A. degrees here. Shi ias been working at Duke Univer, ity in Durham, N. C., the pasi rear. Mrs. Douglas Carlisle graduatec 'rom Wesleyan College in Macon 3a. where she achieved the high, ast scholastic record ever mad4 here. She and her husband )ouglas Carlisle of the politica cience department here, have beer working for Ph.D. degrees at the Jniversity of North Carolina al )hapel Hill, N. C. The subject of CHJARIE STORK 0. 1415 Gervais St. QU A One Day Servi< Two Blocks: SUN|SHINE LAUN Tat. ODK POIN'] (Coat. from Vice-President and Recording Social Fraternity President of Men's Independer Treasure of Men's Independeni Vice-President and Secretary oj President of Interfraternity C Minor officer and Rush Chairn Council . . ........ ....... Member of Interfraternity Cou President and Treasurer of the Other officer of German Club President and Treasurer of Col Other officer of Cotillion Club (Not more tha 7. Gei Head cheerleader ... ....... Cheerleader, assistant . . Chairman of Honor Council . Member of Honor Council ... Member of Honor Board .. Chairman of committee of Lav Honorary awards .......... President of honorary profess Minor officer of honorary prol Member of honorary professic President of KSK .... Recording Secretary of KSK Other member of KSK Lieutenant in Naval ROTC Lieutenant (jg) in NROTC Ensign in NROTC . Membership in Championship Captain of Pistol and Rifle te Membership in Pistol and Rifl President and Treasurer of Co President of Literary Society Vice-President, Secretary and Literary Society ........ Program Chairman of Literar President of International Rel Membership on Debating Teai Membership on Debating Tea! President of University Chori Business manager of Universi President of Boosters Club . Vice-President, Secretary and' Chairman, Student-Faculty R( Elected member of Student-Fa (Not more th Marine Career Proves Exciting For Montgomery By BARBARA McSWAIN Sgt. T. B. Montgomery, instruc tor of Naval Science at Carolina, has had a short but full life. He was in the Philippines with Wainwright when the Japnncsc at tacked the Islands. After the un successful battles to defend them t he was taken prisoner by the Japa nese and held in a concentration camp for forty months. When the war ended the Ser geant stayed in the Marines. He was stationed in Washington, D. C., and Quantico, Va., before com ing to South Carolina. He has been a Marine for ten years, having joined immediately after graduating from high school b in West Virginia. SBesides the Philippines, Sergeant . Montgomery has served in China and Marine outposts in the Pacific. He was born in Oklahoma, but claims West Virginia as home. The Sgt. is beginning his third Syear of instructing the NROTC units at Carolina. He "likes it fine, particularly when the Powder Bowl season rolls around.". Last year Sergeant Montgomery ,helped train the Kappa Delta drill I platoon, the Corsettes, which marched at the half of the Powder Bowl football game. "Those girls," grinned the Sergeant, "were a lot easier to teach than boys are." -Of all the exciting things that have happened to him, one thing stands out in his memory over all others. His wife "just presented me with a bouncing baby boy this spring." Two Gamecock columnists of 1940 are credited with originating Ithe idea for the annual "Powder Bowl" football game between rival sororities at Carolina. her thesis is William Shakespeare. Mrs. McClain and her husband recently moved to Columbia. Pre vious to her present position at the university, she taught in Mercer, Ga. wm LLOYD HAMITER Columbia, S. C. ~ee-By Request Pirom Campus ~RY & CLEANERS 6667 r SYSTEM page two) Secretary of . . . . . . . . . ... . 1 0 ts .. . . 25 a 20 Men's Independents 10 Dunci ... 10 ian or Interfraternity' . . . ....... . 5 ncil .. .... . . ... 5 German Club . . 10 5 Illion Club 10 5 in 40 points) teral .... 25 15 30 15 5 Federation . 10 15 ional group 15 essional group 10 nal group 5 30 20 10 25 20 15 drill platoon 5 am 10 e team 5 npass and Chart 15 25 Treasurer of 10 y Society .15 itions Club 10 n (first year) 15 n (after first year) 10 84 .. ... 20 ty Chorus 20 . .. . 15 r'reasurer of Boosters Club 5 lations Committee 5 culty Relations Committee 5 in 60 points) WITI Football, Politic Hid -Semester E To Annoy Squir By JIM NEWBURY as New students walking across the to horseshoe to and from classes in the early morning may be sur- he prised to see squirrels leaping from m limbs, chewing on pieces of dis- sl: carded cinnamon buns or sidestep- ar ping people who invade the pri- h( vacy of their domain. d< These squirrels are just as much w a part of the spirit of the campus co as the students themselves. Dur- li: ing football season, when everyone fr is running around in a dither try- ci ing to secure tickets for that friend _ or relative who arrived unexpect edly or at the last minute, the squirrels content themselves with chewing on a broken acorn or re clining in the forks of the trees and "just thinking." When political campaigns take their ghastly toll of broken friend ships, the squirrels are taking their daily dozen-sailing from branch to branch, hiding in clumps of leaves and laughing at each other. While mid-semester examinations are causing students to huddle for THE RICE DINING 1619 Greet Lunch - 12:1 Dinner - 5: Meal Tickets Avail SMOKERS WHO KNOW.. Yes. Camels are SO MI L test of hundreds of men and w - and only Camels- for 30 throtspcilitsmaking weel NOT ONE SIIWI *RMTATUO DUI Page Three al Elections, xams Faid rels Here uistance, squirrels are beginning cuddle. No resistance. When spring comes and eyes get avy and yawns take over the tjority of lips, the little squirrels ake the lead out of their claws d poke their heads out of their low houses. They always climb wn for a short stroll even if the ather does look like rain. People uld take a lesson from the Caro ia squirrels. Squirrels don't die om over work- or worry, that's a nch! ZESTO "IT'S GOOD" BIGGEST AND BEST MILK SHAKE IN TOWN 539 Harden Street 2418 Main Street H0 USE ROOMS 1 Street )0 -to 1:45 15 to 7:30 ible At Discount UT'S D that in acoast tocoast men who smoked Camels consecutive days, noted ly examInatins, repouted S CASU@OPTIR@AT TO SMOKING 4AMI .4 1 e