University of South Carolina Libraries
Roos Co-eds Omit Sighs ( Campus Favorite M Rumors Are That The Walter's Sense Of Humc To the many admirers of Dr. T. Walter Herbert the following letter will doubtless be of interest: White House Washington, D. C. March 28, 1944 Dr. T. \Valter Herbert English Department University of S. C. Dear Dr. Herbert: This is to inform you that you are absolutely free from any demands that the U. S. Navy has heretofore inflicted upon you. When the Navy Dept. ordered you to report for duty, it was completely unaware of your position on the University campus, and of the range of your prestiege. Far is it from the inten tion of the government to incon venience any of the American de mocracy. It also feels that your gravest duty lies in instructing the Co-eds of the University of S. C., whose uncultured beauty is well known at the capitol. In grateful recognition of your - compliance with the harsh orders V-12 Boys Ar( Mayo's Style Hec FOR ALL GOOD Col. Jac Buy Your B ?e en *Prett *Cocai *Cigal *Horri And LAST Bi J. FURMAM *JOYE BUTTON CRUSI RUNNING 24 Emergency avelt F )f Relief As FDR Says fill Remain Civvie Draft Board Discovered r Keeps Up Co-ed Morale stemming from their Mistake and in view of the inconveniences oc casioned you the Navy Department has asked me to enclose a check for five hundred dollars ($500.00) which they feel you should accept. If you are ever in the city and can arrange your schedule, please drop by the White House for tea with Eleanor and inc. Very truly yours, Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the U. S. Looney Penny Invents Super Zipper Banana Proudly the Gamecock presents the first Ignoble prize to )r. James T. Penney, of the Biology depart ment. After hours of long and deep deliberation, the editors decided to confer this honor upon Dr. Penney, for his stupendous invention-the "zipper-banana". Welcome At O.P.O. idquarters LOOKING MEN k Griner reakfast At y Coeds -Cola rettes ble Music it Not LEAST SCAN NON BROS. HING MACHINE HOURS A DAY A. W.O. L tevisca Book Worms Somnambulate Library Staff Finds Sleep Contagious Sleep soundly, dear student, but, please, must youm snore ? I rccognizc part of the Battle I lymn of the Re public in your melodious whistling and groaning. No one is blaming you for falling asleep in the library ; in that air infested w% ith the smell of wisdom and bookworms the eye lids do grow mighty heavy. Different people will sleep in differ ent positiotns. The studious type rests his head on his book. If you are rather on the lazy side, you will put your skull and all the para fonclia tlt goes w%ith it on the back of your chair ; you w ill keep your tmonth wide qpe thtts creating the imtpression of greatest intelligence. If you lie rather than sit itt the chair and if you prefer the green easy cbair in the lobby yi'u will be known as "w hite rat." ( No offense meant.) ( Not tuch.) I f the idea has ripened in your brain that the library i- only used as a place for pcaceftal slumber, then an entirely % rong iupression has been created. The girls itt Wade Ilampton can tell you better. Three dates a w%eek is their measly ration, so what does one do when a good looking car-owning lieutenant asks for a date just after payday ? One signs out for the library, of course. Now, suppositg, there were no li brary ? The disastrous result would be that the freshman girl would stay home, cry and he untit to live with for anywhere between three weeks and four tnouths. Now, I hope that it is clear that we definitely need the library. Next time you hear soteone advocate the (lestrtction of thnt building, d1o not fail to mention the reasons stated why we must continue to have the library. In case you are a member of the "neck in the dark halls club" please hit anyone who says the li brary haint no good in de puss. UY AT THE ESSO No coupons needed Easy terms--or part ownership in your car-twenty gallons per wheel Ten for an engine. A Vote for Freeman is A IVote for Freeman (PAID ADVERTISEMENT) Eat SHACK'S MADE IN COLUMBIA * FRESH DAILY BETTER LIGHT BETTER SIGHT * South Carolina Electric & Gas Co. BEVERAGE COMPANY * ROYAL CROWN COLA 1211 ASSEMBLY STREET China & Gifts Columbia's Largest Hardware Store Lorick & Lowrance Draf Unpaid Ady! More Suckers; Pleads Paper, I)oes your cigarette taste dif ferent lately? Do peu awake with a jerk and feel groggy all day? Do your eyes jerk and your knec: buckle? If so, you are already one of our happy throng, but if you re tain your pristinc health then you are just what we are seeking eureka! It is your duty, enlist to day and release a reporter for the asylum. Just remember the words of that old Confederate War song, "If you want to have a good time, jiune the Gamecock!" Which goes on to say that "Life is swell if you keep well." Which all goes to show that the life of a Gamecock reporter is the life for you. The advantages of our little establishment are many. Our fixtures are the most modern, flourescent lighting, air-condition ing, easy chairs for all. All this among the most immaculate splen dor that can be achieved by a host of experienced slaves. Last but not by any means least, the social contacts which one can make by working with our select group is truly amazing. All the old names, printable or otherwise, are among us. So, be it male or female companionship that you crave, step right our way, and we'll fix you up. Dr. Penney stated that: "A pip of a zip and it's readly to eat. .If you don't want it all, a pip of a zip and it'll wait until next time." A Vote for Freeman Is A Vote for Freeman (PAID ADVERTiSEMENT) Capitol Bowling Palace Gervais at Marion 20 Sparkling New Alleys for your recreation and pleasure Open Daily 4 P. M. Till Midnight Saturday and Sunday 1 P. M. Till Midnight Our Luncheonette Where delicious sandwiches and salads, ice cream surndaes, and sodas are served-opens daily at 11 A. M. Always Open TODDLE HOUSE 1419 Gervois t Law Be Prepared! Simmites Cry And They Are Four pretty, virtuous maids werc sitting on the floor. Two wore pi jamas, two wore nighties, all wore curlers. They talked in hushed voices. Suddenly one of them shouted: "ElIEK, supposing SHi came in now. "Don't be so cheerful and hush up," another replied. "That's easily said, but do you want to get shipped? 'Cause that's what will happen if she walks in now.' "I know what to do," the tall one with the big feet replied, "We can have a practice raid." They agreed that this was a mar velous idea. The little brunette in pink took charge. "Now when I knock against the bed here, you Stinky, put your foot on the pot. Yes, you would be best, your feet are the biggest. I will sit on the stack of cards while you all grab a book or magazine and look innocent. All right here we go.' She knocked and every girl did her bit as she had been told. But the little brunette was not satisfied. "Why the hell can't you look inno cent. Here like me." And she really appeared like a daisy that blooms on the big wall-unseen and un loved. They tried their maneuver again and this time to the general satis faction of the gang. "Now let's get back to business," the blueyed maiden said. "1 bet 2 cents." "Raise you one." "0. K." And so they pursuited their happy pastime for the next three hours. Finally the pink little lady sighted: "Sorry I got to study some now." "0. K. Lets put the dough in the middle. I had twelve cents to stay with. I got it. See you, 'night." It is reported that Dr. Penney is working on a something with the fact that spinach contains a lot of phosporus. It seems that Dr. Penney believes that a man can be bright all day with a spinach diet. Roise the Jolly Roger And put V-12 on the deck, Forget the skull and crossbones We'll use Bainbridge ghosts by heck. A Vote for Freeman Is A Vote for Freeman (PAID ADVERTISEMENT) LORICK OFFICE EQUJ * Office * Office Architects and I Phone 6176 :-: COLUMI "Flowers E ISO I Florists an CORSAGES - 1428 Main St. Phon... 2462 For Hi "Frankie" Bradley Excuse Cards, Sing It Was On A Dark And Glowed Brilliantly In It was on a dark and storiy night the moon glowed brilliantly in the clear starry '~.. My heart was ripe for romance and on one side was a large rotten spot. Wcaring eight cards of hobby-pins in my hair, a plaid blouse of red and grcen ration stamps. and a full skirt of A, B3, C gasoline conpols, I knew I was superb. Also oil my good leg I wore a "run-proof" Nylon (the wooden one I had just shellaked with molasses and was hoping for the worst 1) The Information Center was de serted hnt for "Cap" Kncedhan, stretched out on a sofa %% ith his hat cocked over one eye. 1 felt a ua%e of compassion for hint w% hen I re inembered that he couldi't go nit with the other boys. lie'd becn t e stricted for using the pay 'dione on official husintess. I took the elevator dons n to the canteen and wastn't surprised to tin'I "Irankic" Bradley pclched un the picolo, singing Marescatoates and an tographing excuse cards. In one booth Zan I lcyw%ard w+.t sitting, telling " I inck" lialcock about his latest Iishing trip. "Ilnck" was at a loss for s ords ! Everyliody in the place was drink ing I)r. l'eppers and eating chicken salad sandwiches. Iromlt under a table I heard a voice ntnnling, "I won't tell you, I don't know. Suie yon can use my telephone !" I t w as Betty Crews wearing an identitication bracelet engraved "Misinfornatimn." Betty Coit and Cele Roberts walked by dressed respectively int Maxwell I louse and Chset' ant San born wrappers. Dot Johnsotn fo lowed looking stunning in a se.ect little Postuin rnmhter. Soft strains of a \ienesc melody Meriwether Col Secret of Rome Found; Prying Prexy Tells All An interesting bit of historical research is Professor Meriwether's revelation that human ears were once used by the ancient Romans for currency. Dr. Meriwether, after years of research among dusty and time tattered tomes, rose at a recent mettiti of the Caroliniana Society to reveal this fact. Thus it would seem that l ark Anthony wh'len lie voiced those memorable wvords: "Friends, Romanis, country men, lend me your ears" was only trying to float a loan I WVhat size are you r ears, dear readler? A Vote for Freeman Is A Vote for Freeman (PAID ADVERTISEMENT) -COUCH IPMENT CO. Equipment Supplies ~ngineers Supplies 924 Gervais St. 31A, S. C. That Last" 4I, I nc. ci Decorators CUT FLOWERS arbert. Autographing s Mareseatoats ;tormy Night, The Moon The Clear Starry Sky floated fromt the juke box and cotples paired off to waltz. Grace Swteeney" stood hatless in the door. way reqesting this and that passer by to translate a few lines of her French assiginment for her. l'ill \\ard was looking for Mary Beth Castles all over the place. Some one shtilfled a deck of cards noise. lessly and Iil I IIutchins crawled out from hiitdl the ace of spades. I low inue . that American youth could have such stimulatitig environ mecnt in wthich to thrive!I \\'ith satisfaction I lit tip a Mari wtanna and sat dow%n in the nearest V ifs lap. Cohol Cashes 'In On Assets \I iss Al Cohol was acclaimed "Miss K S K" in a recent meeting of the K5K Fraternity. Each mem I er of the fraternity submitted his Iet girl friend and a committee front the .ondon Observatory of the Stars chose the beauty. The "C" syrtemn wa Hs used in picking the n,o-t 'eautiftil, that is cash and curvc.. A Miss Cobdl, who attended Clem son College, is outstanding in the football world. It will be remem hered that she played in the Clem son-Carolina game in 1890 and was one of the outstanding players of the state that ycar. Other bags entered in the contest vcre Mis Iay Rum, Miss Black 'erry \\'ine, Miss Rot Ten Hops, and l iss Red Top Ale. After the crowning of the KSK t,ue en, reireslttents, consisting of milk and crackers, were enjoyed by I the i a mdl their guests. es Through Competitors COMMUNITY DRUG STORE 5214 - PHONES - 9498 625 Harden Street CEN TRAL DRUG CO. * 5197 -P HONES.-.5198e 1204 Main Street* ICapitol Pharmacy * PURE DRUGS 1213 Gervois Street %one 8177 COL.UMBIA, S. C. Capital Drug Store 1213 Gervois Phone 8177 * Excellent Fountain Service ECONOMY DRUG STORE CUT RATE DRUGS SODAS AND L.UNCH EONETTE Five Point s * Photcne 8119