The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1944, Page Page Too, Image 2
Roos
Co-eds Omit Sighs (
Campus Favorite M
Rumors Are That The
Walter's Sense Of Humc
To the many admirers of Dr. T.
Walter Herbert the following letter
will doubtless be of interest:
White House
Washington, D. C.
March 28, 1944
Dr. T. \Valter Herbert
English Department
University of S. C.
Dear Dr. Herbert:
This is to inform you that you are
absolutely free from any demands
that the U. S. Navy has heretofore
inflicted upon you. When the Navy
Dept. ordered you to report for
duty, it was completely unaware of
your position on the University
campus, and of the range of your
prestiege. Far is it from the inten
tion of the government to incon
venience any of the American de
mocracy. It also feels that your
gravest duty lies in instructing the
Co-eds of the University of S. C.,
whose uncultured beauty is well
known at the capitol.
In grateful recognition of your
- compliance with the harsh orders
V-12 Boys Ar(
Mayo's
Style Hec
FOR ALL GOOD
Col. Jac
Buy Your B
?e en
*Prett
*Cocai
*Cigal
*Horri
And LAST Bi
J. FURMAM
*JOYE
BUTTON CRUSI
RUNNING 24
Emergency
avelt F
)f Relief As FDR Says
fill Remain Civvie
Draft Board Discovered
r Keeps Up Co-ed Morale
stemming from their Mistake and
in view of the inconveniences oc
casioned you the Navy Department
has asked me to enclose a check for
five hundred dollars ($500.00) which
they feel you should accept.
If you are ever in the city and
can arrange your schedule, please
drop by the White House for tea
with Eleanor and inc.
Very truly yours,
Franklin D. Roosevelt,
President of the U. S.
Looney Penny
Invents Super
Zipper Banana
Proudly the Gamecock presents
the first Ignoble prize to )r. James
T. Penney, of the Biology depart
ment. After hours of long and deep
deliberation, the editors decided to
confer this honor upon Dr. Penney,
for his stupendous invention-the
"zipper-banana".
Welcome At
O.P.O.
idquarters
LOOKING MEN
k Griner
reakfast At
y Coeds
-Cola
rettes
ble Music
it Not LEAST
SCAN NON
BROS.
HING MACHINE
HOURS A DAY
A. W.O. L
tevisca
Book Worms
Somnambulate
Library Staff Finds
Sleep Contagious
Sleep soundly, dear student, but,
please, must youm snore ? I rccognizc
part of the Battle I lymn of the Re
public in your melodious whistling
and groaning. No one is blaming
you for falling asleep in the library ;
in that air infested w% ith the smell
of wisdom and bookworms the eye
lids do grow mighty heavy.
Different people will sleep in differ
ent positiotns. The studious type
rests his head on his book. If you
are rather on the lazy side, you will
put your skull and all the para
fonclia tlt goes w%ith it on the back
of your chair ; you w ill keep your
tmonth wide qpe thtts creating the
imtpression of greatest intelligence.
If you lie rather than sit itt the chair
and if you prefer the green easy
cbair in the lobby yi'u will be known
as "w hite rat." ( No offense meant.)
( Not tuch.) I f the idea has ripened
in your brain that the library i- only
used as a place for pcaceftal slumber,
then an entirely % rong iupression
has been created. The girls itt Wade
Ilampton can tell you better. Three
dates a w%eek is their measly ration,
so what does one do when a good
looking car-owning lieutenant asks
for a date just after payday ? One
signs out for the library, of course.
Now, suppositg, there were no li
brary ? The disastrous result would
be that the freshman girl would stay
home, cry and he untit to live with
for anywhere between three weeks
and four tnouths.
Now, I hope that it is clear that
we definitely need the library. Next
time you hear soteone advocate the
(lestrtction of thnt building, d1o not
fail to mention the reasons stated
why we must continue to have the
library. In case you are a member
of the "neck in the dark halls club"
please hit anyone who says the li
brary haint no good in de puss.
UY AT THE
ESSO
No coupons needed
Easy terms--or part ownership in your
car-twenty gallons per wheel
Ten for an engine.
A Vote for Freeman is A
IVote for Freeman
(PAID ADVERTISEMENT)
Eat SHACK'S
MADE IN COLUMBIA
* FRESH DAILY
BETTER
LIGHT
BETTER
SIGHT
*
South Carolina
Electric & Gas Co.
BEVERAGE COMPANY
* ROYAL CROWN COLA
1211 ASSEMBLY STREET
China & Gifts
Columbia's Largest
Hardware Store
Lorick & Lowrance
Draf
Unpaid Ady!
More Suckers;
Pleads Paper,
I)oes your cigarette taste dif
ferent lately? Do peu awake with
a jerk and feel groggy all day? Do
your eyes jerk and your knec:
buckle? If so, you are already one
of our happy throng, but if you re
tain your pristinc health then you
are just what we are seeking
eureka! It is your duty, enlist to
day and release a reporter for the
asylum. Just remember the words
of that old Confederate War song,
"If you want to have a good time,
jiune the Gamecock!" Which goes
on to say that "Life is swell if you
keep well."
Which all goes to show that the
life of a Gamecock reporter is the
life for you. The advantages of our
little establishment are many. Our
fixtures are the most modern,
flourescent lighting, air-condition
ing, easy chairs for all. All this
among the most immaculate splen
dor that can be achieved by a host
of experienced slaves.
Last but not by any means least,
the social contacts which one can
make by working with our select
group is truly amazing. All the old
names, printable or otherwise, are
among us. So, be it male or female
companionship that you crave, step
right our way, and we'll fix you up.
Dr. Penney stated that: "A pip
of a zip and it's readly to eat. .If
you don't want it all, a pip of a
zip and it'll wait until next time."
A Vote for Freeman Is A
Vote for Freeman
(PAID ADVERTiSEMENT)
Capitol Bowling
Palace
Gervais at Marion
20 Sparkling New Alleys
for your recreation and pleasure
Open Daily 4 P. M. Till Midnight
Saturday and Sunday 1 P. M.
Till Midnight
Our Luncheonette
Where delicious sandwiches and
salads, ice cream surndaes, and sodas
are served-opens daily at 11 A. M.
Always Open
TODDLE
HOUSE
1419 Gervois
t Law
Be Prepared!
Simmites Cry
And They Are
Four pretty, virtuous maids werc
sitting on the floor. Two wore pi
jamas, two wore nighties, all wore
curlers. They talked in hushed
voices. Suddenly one of them
shouted:
"ElIEK, supposing SHi came in
now.
"Don't be so cheerful and hush
up," another replied.
"That's easily said, but do you
want to get shipped? 'Cause that's
what will happen if she walks in
now.'
"I know what to do," the tall one
with the big feet replied, "We can
have a practice raid."
They agreed that this was a mar
velous idea. The little brunette in
pink took charge.
"Now when I knock against the
bed here, you Stinky, put your foot
on the pot. Yes, you would be best,
your feet are the biggest. I will
sit on the stack of cards while you
all grab a book or magazine and
look innocent. All right here we go.'
She knocked and every girl did her
bit as she had been told. But the
little brunette was not satisfied.
"Why the hell can't you look inno
cent. Here like me." And she really
appeared like a daisy that blooms
on the big wall-unseen and un
loved.
They tried their maneuver again
and this time to the general satis
faction of the gang.
"Now let's get back to business,"
the blueyed maiden said.
"1 bet 2 cents."
"Raise you one."
"0. K."
And so they pursuited their happy
pastime for the next three hours.
Finally the pink little lady sighted:
"Sorry I got to study some now."
"0. K. Lets put the dough in the
middle. I had twelve cents to stay
with. I got it. See you, 'night."
It is reported that Dr. Penney is
working on a something with the
fact that spinach contains a lot of
phosporus. It seems that Dr.
Penney believes that a man can be
bright all day with a spinach diet.
Roise the Jolly Roger
And put V-12 on the deck,
Forget the skull and crossbones
We'll use Bainbridge ghosts by heck.
A Vote for Freeman Is A
Vote for Freeman
(PAID ADVERTISEMENT)
LORICK
OFFICE EQUJ
* Office
* Office
Architects and I
Phone 6176 :-:
COLUMI
"Flowers
E ISO I
Florists an
CORSAGES -
1428 Main St. Phon... 2462
For Hi
"Frankie" Bradley
Excuse Cards, Sing
It Was On A Dark And
Glowed Brilliantly In
It was on a dark and storiy night
the moon glowed brilliantly in the
clear starry '~.. My heart was ripe
for romance and on one side was a
large rotten spot.
Wcaring eight cards of hobby-pins
in my hair, a plaid blouse of red and
grcen ration stamps. and a full skirt
of A, B3, C gasoline conpols, I knew
I was superb. Also oil my good leg
I wore a "run-proof" Nylon (the
wooden one I had just shellaked with
molasses and was hoping for the
worst 1)
The Information Center was de
serted hnt for "Cap" Kncedhan,
stretched out on a sofa %% ith his hat
cocked over one eye. 1 felt a ua%e
of compassion for hint w% hen I re
inembered that he couldi't go nit
with the other boys. lie'd becn t e
stricted for using the pay 'dione on
official husintess.
I took the elevator dons n to the
canteen and wastn't surprised to tin'I
"Irankic" Bradley pclched un the
picolo, singing Marescatoates and an
tographing excuse cards.
In one booth Zan I lcyw%ard w+.t
sitting, telling " I inck" lialcock
about his latest Iishing trip. "Ilnck"
was at a loss for s ords !
Everyliody in the place was drink
ing I)r. l'eppers and eating chicken
salad sandwiches. Iromlt under a
table I heard a voice ntnnling, "I
won't tell you, I don't know. Suie
yon can use my telephone !" I t w as
Betty Crews wearing an identitication
bracelet engraved "Misinfornatimn."
Betty Coit and Cele Roberts
walked by dressed respectively int
Maxwell I louse and Chset' ant San
born wrappers. Dot Johnsotn fo
lowed looking stunning in a se.ect
little Postuin rnmhter.
Soft strains of a \ienesc melody
Meriwether Col
Secret of Rome Found;
Prying Prexy Tells All
An interesting bit of historical
research is Professor Meriwether's
revelation that human ears were
once used by the ancient Romans
for currency.
Dr. Meriwether, after years of
research among dusty and time
tattered tomes, rose at a recent
mettiti of the Caroliniana Society
to reveal this fact.
Thus it would seem that l ark
Anthony wh'len lie voiced those
memorable wvords:
"Friends, Romanis, country men,
lend me your ears" was only trying
to float a loan I
WVhat size are you r ears, dear
readler?
A Vote for Freeman Is A
Vote for Freeman
(PAID ADVERTISEMENT)
-COUCH
IPMENT CO.
Equipment
Supplies
~ngineers Supplies
924 Gervais St.
31A, S. C.
That Last"
4I, I nc.
ci Decorators
CUT FLOWERS
arbert.
Autographing
s Mareseatoats
;tormy Night, The Moon
The Clear Starry Sky
floated fromt the juke box and
cotples paired off to waltz. Grace
Swteeney" stood hatless in the door.
way reqesting this and that passer
by to translate a few lines of her
French assiginment for her.
l'ill \\ard was looking for Mary
Beth Castles all over the place. Some
one shtilfled a deck of cards noise.
lessly and Iil I IIutchins crawled out
from hiitdl the ace of spades.
I low inue . that American youth
could have such stimulatitig environ
mecnt in wthich to thrive!I
\\'ith satisfaction I lit tip a Mari
wtanna and sat dow%n in the nearest
V ifs lap.
Cohol Cashes
'In On Assets
\I iss Al Cohol was acclaimed
"Miss K S K" in a recent meeting
of the K5K Fraternity. Each mem
I er of the fraternity submitted his
Iet girl friend and a committee
front the .ondon Observatory of
the Stars chose the beauty. The "C"
syrtemn wa Hs used in picking the
n,o-t 'eautiftil, that is cash and
curvc.. A
Miss Cobdl, who attended Clem
son College, is outstanding in the
football world. It will be remem
hered that she played in the Clem
son-Carolina game in 1890 and was
one of the outstanding players of
the state that ycar.
Other bags entered in the contest
vcre Mis Iay Rum, Miss Black
'erry \\'ine, Miss Rot Ten Hops,
and l iss Red Top Ale.
After the crowning of the KSK
t,ue en, reireslttents, consisting of
milk and crackers, were enjoyed by
I the i a mdl their guests.
es Through
Competitors
COMMUNITY
DRUG STORE
5214 - PHONES - 9498
625 Harden Street
CEN TRAL
DRUG CO.
*
5197 -P HONES.-.5198e
1204 Main Street*
ICapitol Pharmacy
* PURE DRUGS
1213 Gervois Street %one 8177
COL.UMBIA, S. C.
Capital Drug
Store
1213 Gervois Phone 8177
*
Excellent Fountain
Service
ECONOMY
DRUG STORE
CUT RATE DRUGS
SODAS AND
L.UNCH EONETTE
Five Point s * Photcne 8119