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Students Too Good; No More Work Bradley May Be. Placed On Termite Watcher's Group In a radical departure from the system of the last few years, the faculty yesterday abolished the Discipline Committee. The reason given for the change was set forth in the following state ment issued by the faculty spokes man after the momentous meeting: "Our President, Dr. J. Rion Mc Kissick, has time and again told the public that the student body of the University is second to none in the world as far as morals and good conduct are concerned. It has been the experience of the faculty that his words and assertions are entire ly true. Conduct of students at all times and in all situations has ever been, and continues to be, exem plery. "Since this has been the case, the Discipline Committee has been an entirely non-functioning body. It has not had occasion to call a meet ing since Dr. McKissick took over the presidency of the University of South Carolina. "It is the opinion of the faculty that keeping such a non-functioning committee on the books is very in efficient, and therefore detrimental to the efficient organization of the University." No reaction was seen among the students after the faculty's action became known. Many of the stu dents who had not read the catalog did not even know that there was a "discipline" committee. Dean Bradley, who has headed the nythical committee, will be shifted to some other committee, it was understood. It was reported that he might be placed on the committee investigating the activi ties of termites on the University caipus. X-ray Machine R On Student Of (( Startling facts were revealed lastl week in a class of the X-ray course, conducted by Prof. Tr. F. Ball: Accidentally stepp)ing in front of one of the machines, the stomach of a student was seen to be filled wvith old razor blades, nails, and broken bottles. Immediately the student was rushed to a hospital, where doctors proceeded to b)egin to remove the debris. The student, wvho begged that his name not to b)e revealed, confessed that he had once been a sword swallower and razor-blade cater for a circus sideshowv, but had quiit his occupation to gain a higher edluca tion at the University, in ordler that he might someday become a truck driver, or maybe even a filling sta tion operator. At first he refused to divulge the reason wvhy lhe had again taken to Diamonds .:. Watches.: ESTABLISH P. H. LACHICO 1424 MAIN STREET WACH AllV 'PHOS For i Most] In 17281/ Hoy To Pla6 Poker In One Easy Lesson Smoke-Filled Room Provides Atmospheie . "How to play stud Poker" by Check Locks. First, in- order to get . the real >oker game atmosphere, send two >r three freshmen with four cigars to fill the room to be used with amoke. Now the doors of the room ;hould be thrown open and all the :ontestants run for a seat. If it s found that there are not enough :hairs in the room,.the unfortunate players should go across the hall or lown stairs and borrow some. One iust always remember that Emily Bost states that "when you borrow - chair for use in a poker game, al ways promise to return it, even though you never do." Now we are ready to proceed with the game. * If the deck of cards to be used is not a new one, everyone should be given the op ortunity to inspect them to see that they are not marked-let me state here that these are honest boys. After the cards are mixed, one card is given to each contestant down and one up. The man with the highest card is r'equired to bet. For my benefit we will say that you have the highest card and the limit is a dime. Hence, you will bet a dime. If everyone calls, you use sone physcology-making some use of your college education-and call them suckers. Now by calling them that they will all drop out in the next three times the cards go around but one. By glancing at the cards of this "Black Sheep," you can see that you have him beat. So you check to him. He will bet you. Now you come back with a raise. When you do this you will receive a diploma from I Check Locks. eveals Effect ,ensored) Diet eating such indigestible materials, but later confessed that, as he was required to eat at the... ...(censored)... Doctors saidl that he has a fifty fifty chance to make a complete re covery, if he will stop eating. McGR EGOR'S .DRUG STORE 1308 Main Street PRESCRIPTIONS SODA - OIGARETTES' TOILET ARTICLES 'Call 2-3308 For Prompt Delivery Service Jewelry .:. Silverware ED 1883 [TE & CO., Inc. JE COLUMBIA, U. C. E L RY R E PA IRS ILES OLD [OGRAPHS Every Purpose Vlodern Studio Columbia ',MAIN STREET ammitt Thornwell T( Broadcasting Swing Sessions Crumble Walls By Edgar A. Phoo Quiet reigned supreme in the KA tenement; as I dodged a flyiig (milk) bottle, which passed on in to space, Announcer Patton cried oudly, "Quietl We're on the air." Then into the $500 microphone Announcer Patton went on: "This s the 500,001 watt transmitter of lhe University Broadcasting Con )any's station, KA, with studios lo :ated in the palatial suites of Thorn well Hotel and Country Club, on the campus of that great University md Grand Country Club, the UT. S. c. (Here Assistant L a w s o n raised the "Applause" card; a visit ing SAE from the top floor re iponded-he was the only one pres Mnt who could read.) Announcer Hawkins took over the microphone as Patton slowly slithered under the table. "Flashl" said he !"A bulletin from the Ex tension Division Press! Dr. Mc Kissick has just announced, in an address before the Hickville Ladies' Aid Society, that the University is the greatest spot on earth, and that the University Student Body was the best-behaved on earth-11aving just nosed out Clemson by a single pint-er, pardon me, I mean point . . . Super-flash! We have just re ceived word from Mr. John Nichol son at the Senate that the Legisla ture has appropriated an unlimited I Zucke Through the commendable efforts of Heil-Hitler Zuckerman, Buster Spann has been secured to play for the June Ball. Announcement was made by Dave Baker, president of anti-German Club. "Mr. Spann" he said "has one of 'Wrestling With Y goverandg th h4& AAa. AI anwy no o-B CapsF Is Y4 o' hv ob CapsFsinPae wern4 pae n dfyu oiencel' begis toeingt goov rd s of the oboe. quli t a ve atisac be tion. asio lae ee Die mement T.op] Station Caus Lady With Knife ;um for University expenses, as a -esult of Dr. McKissick's announce nent . . ." Here Hawkins went un ler the table; he had fainted, and so iad eveVybody else within hearing istance of that great super-station, KA. About that time Jitterbug Ira [ones wandered in, on his way up to hear his favorite jam sessions on the victrola on the third floor. See ing a,phonograph pickup and rec :>rds, his face leaped with joy. He :lashed over and put on "Jellybean Jump"; at this the*KA's began to rman Scores the best known orchestras ever to be brought to this campus. His Gamecocks will spur even the dull -st dance to success. And this will be the biggest dance we have ever put on. We are expecting visitors from Berlin and Limberger our Conscience? AA t mih noPep u o a r, hion.Plate ..mi .ionare.t.be Not...if...you...buy...yourV ecsore at Tapp's. Il teach.you..thatii seso'smot mpr o, that.our.price.tag I r1isse( )les As K. A. es Panic Fall Destroys Milk Bottles revive. L. T. Lawson tolled over on his feet and flew into a delicate ballet dance which was picked up on the seismograph in LeConte and thought to be an earthquake in China. Then Fred Webb in thc next room started doing the "Holy Rol ler Roll"; and just above, Mel Us sury got in the swing of things with "The Little Grapefruit" in a big way. Also on. the second floor Paul Sansbury took down his hair and let fly with the "Darlington Hotfoot." The SAF's about this time tuned in on KA, and started swinging along with the rest. Jiminmy'"Butch" Fant and Honeybunch Hughes tripped a not-so-light fantastic while Long Lang Long Lang Long (somebody stop me) did the double hula like nobody else could. By this time 241 was jumping. Suddenly it tore loose from the Phi Sig house, and jumped out toward the Wall. But alack, alas! The curse of Doubleyou Pea Yea was upon the ancient time-honored structure, and suddenly, as it took the third jump, it fell into a hcap of stones, sand and milk bottles, into which were mixed a few KA's, SAE's, and second floor boys. Roosevelt laughed heartily; "Some thing else for my boys to dol" Thus fell 24V, the one-time pride of the campus. Again on-the-Rine and all the A. T. O's. The crowd is sure to be a record one. Fortunately we secured the lobby of the new womans building for the affair." In speaking of the good fortune of the group in securing the out FOR SAL] ONE SLIGHTI See Bill Bochman, THE APPREC NORR S sanar packages 5750t Jundven kc Baskets, 1.0eo 5c Silk Plush Rabbits, handsomely dress NOR RIS standard packages, $5.00, $3. Gingham Rabbits, 51.00 and 50c. All NORRIS standard packages ar< wrapped or decorated with flowers am for Easter, $1.00 and $1.50 the pound E as ie r i s A'p E CKI 158O MAID Byl Who Is This M 4P Senior Snaps The present administration is a New Deal; uIotj!sodojd CAddils c si pa apr1i V A slippery proposition is hard to hang onto Ergo: the present administration is bound to get out of hand. S-OrN P~S -([Od standing orchestra, Mr. Baker said further, "Not only is this one of the best orchestras ever brought to this campus, but it is the only one." E CHEAP Y USED CAR Sigma Chi House IATED GiFT NORRIS G XQUISITE ~CAN DIE S EASTER uiring ed, carrying , 50 &~ $2.50. double 1 ribbons - r1 9th, 1939 ''T~ RBD'S rAul rannm Faculty an? R Daffynitions Quote: an article of clothing worn lo keep warm P?aw mup~ uoou :;)Bun-I sl;)31 UO lis 0) : punbS Chump: to leap into the air au solnu aiaim aauld le : a2pnao kept Policy Or Price IT'S 0P. AT MAYO'S 1426 MAIN ST. "Flowers For All Occasions" CAROLINA'S FLORIST Corsages - Plants - Cut DeLoAche, Inc. Florist INext Door,To Western Union-Phone 2-2187 0/ e betse1acoI I cOSC o re tCe ~I ega\tchbevae~ e est,)net Seth i lection 105Ii"' LACNE E IAteseun choseNtaIete snatchab