University of South Carolina Libraries
KERNEL MY-KISSES - - - - - - - - - Eggior-in-Chisf SUPPLIERS Tomm Rake ..................................................Rooster Lames Dixon .......................................Assistant Rooster She-Are-A-Lot Perch .....................................Setting Hen I'd-A-Laid Bibscomb ...................................Cackling Hen --- Hen Po'Lays ..................................Just In With The Hens HAVE-A-LAY BLABCOCK - - - - - - - - Hatcher-Upper E Coaching Situatio _.. El r IAuM l pa aKJ i Pictured here is the architect's conception of Carolina's new swimming pool. Th The plans here shown were released for publication by Prof. R. L. Somewhate. The maidens in the picture are Try Delta, Dot Bratt, extreme lefa, Thomasine Gr Graveyard, Martha Whither, and Caroline Myteeth. Above is a view of Jane Crout interviewing Dr. Blabcock about her mid SI semester grades. The golden haired lad behind is Johnny Campbell, who agai totes a chest of big apples which Janie is about to give teacher. Dean Nestle Fireside, above, is shown in the vehicle that he used prior to the purchase of his present modern horseless carriage, one S This iormal shot was taken in Steward's Hail at mealtime. Soup was on exp< the menu. por SMOKELOBETTLE lad tocnic Word' bigsyelr YEL-BL THE NKYBAITER -FOUND TWO MINUTES AGO Hen-ry The Egg-th, Original Rooster stored As Very Little Matter At Nieggra Fowls, N. Y., 668 B. C. fi At A Glance II e above picture was taken during an exciting moment in the Law Federa moot court. "You stole my love," Leanie Lea shouts to cowering Irvini ndup. iN Lown here is Lean John Chaste, preparing to defend his czarist regirr nst a student insurrection. ene in Miss Messall's art class shows a student at work on a tapestry. TI in the other room is hard at work on a totem pole. napped by the candid camerman just as he was setting out on a hunth~ edition was Prof. Blabcock. At right is Dean Hardly with "Bobo," ir ted lapdog. ROLLS DEVELOPED I Any .ine roll kodak fim developed,A eight noee-fadeVelox prints for only - MMN. YOUR FIL.MS TO WMARTANSURG. S. C. LEAN JOHN CHASTE - - IN THE 1 J. Rubber Nest .................. Caught Hen-lay .................. Chick Little ...................... Shimmy Blitch ................... Albert Goslin ..................... MARSHAL CAN'T-HE - - - Pre q_ C By EXPOSED: Mad Inventor McCall caused rumors to sound like tremors this t< week when his Mechanical Student was s discovered in the dark basement of the v Extension building. This Robot, it is pre- u dicted, will replace one million human s college students in the United States. For a the sum of two bits the complex machine c: may be rented for a four-year period. It, f by means of very intricate apparatus, - (and my imagination) wakes up at eight n in the morning meets classes and takes all quizzes. If machine gives wrong answer o and brings in a report less than A, the s buyer may send the Student Robot back s to the factory for repairs. A nefarious h note was brought into the situation when c one observer remarked that the first i5 Robot resembled Jimmy Joyner, McCall's tI assistant. And Joyner has been missing t< for weeks. n Commenting on the invention. McCall said: "Oh, it was nothing at all. I at tribute my success to Wheaties. But let it be remembered that my invention is not original. We have had mechanical professors for more than a hundred years -especially at Carolina. UNKNOWN UNTIL T O D A Y: Slugg DePass is really the late Chicago reporter, Jake Lingle .... Huh Babcock writes love confessional stories for pulp magazines . . . . Librarian Kennedy is a close relation to Bernarr MacFadden ... . Prof. Wienefeld is a scout for the New York Yankees. . ..Dean Bradley did not win the World War.... Dutch Wag ener has memorized a thousand risque poems . ...Professor Bass is really Charley McCarthy in disguise . Registrar Chase has ambitions of being dictator . . . . Colonel McKissick uses canned speeches which slip out when he sees more than three persons together .. . Doctor Law is not a physician; he is a horse doctor .... African dominoes out ranks the Carnegie records as the favor ite Student Union amusement .... Reed Smith makes a enormous profit from his text books .... Prof. Wauchope is real ly the American Mr. Clips . . . . Gin will be used instead of water in the new swimming pool . . . . The new library will contain Esquire, New Yorker, and 1 Fortune . ... There are no honest cam pus politicians . . . . The May Queen will be beautiful for a change . . . . This column is very very lousy. FOREIGN AFFAIRS: Discovered in the Melton Field press box this week was a Clemson espionage man, detailing the progress of Enright's Gamecocks, who recently finished digesting a heavy diet of catfish. On being caught, the Tiger spy said: "I was only seeing if the boys had photographic possibilities." Immediately the uptown signal callers, troop No. 2, came on the scene and sen STOP for the pause that refreshes now you may continue. tenced spy to be shot. Against the wvall -after removing the Greeks--was the place the spy and the battalion of down town quarterbacks, upon hearing the word, shot-but as usual they shot blanks. And the spy escaped through the wilder ness of LeConte College. Rock Smith, always a minute man, (a minute late,) threwv the entire million dollar collec tion of fossilized rocks at the fleeing Tiger. Rock Smith missed all the way and was given his release by the Pitts burgh Pirates. But the day was saved by Professor Penney, who suggested that a rock gardlen be constructed in the rear of LeConte in honor of the Daughters of Burney College Association. VQuestion-Of-Th WHAT GETS YOU 0 Snary Snixon: "Love--and love without the man I love."' Sqrewie Di11ad: "Blitzen's Beer I cent in taste, satisfaction, perfo: ""- Skdneretta Hlailey: "Well, I usua .. next bus. Generally, I tell the fatuation and convince them th Seat Joter: "I sit and think and ti to get over. Not a soul seem and finally the last time I laid key and crawled under." Sin Whyman: "Mother's apron a Snarl Butch Ha.rknnss: "I heavi sional ease over not only your a: of life. The mighty brain can . - '- Czar of the Bar 3REEDER ...................Unhatched Egg ....................Scrambled Egg ........................Fryed Egg ......-..............Stewed Egg ................-------.....Cracked - - Setting Rooster s Pants ollect G. 8. G. Whis SENSATION: Rumor reared its dis. rted countenance on the placid Univer ty campus this week when it was re ealed that Propagandist Dink Gaines 'as using her "natural appeal" to bring :udents to South Carolina. Parading > the "typical Carolina girl, Miss Gaines lIed community meetings where she per. )rmed the "Dance of the Seven Whales -being accompanied by six corpulent embers of Enright's gridders." Said Propagandist Gaines, speaking in ne of the swamp districts which vamped her: A number of times each mester we have lovely dances which st right through the eight o'clock asses of the next day. Ith. plumbing excellent ; instead of hot and cold on e faucets, we have gin and rye. Dormi. ry conditions are ever on the improve ent. -U. S. C. Soliloquy In Space Blank Verse By Albert Ooulin e-Week VER THE FENCE? alone. I could never attempt it Nothing like it. A hundred per 'nmance. It beautifies the breath." Ily walk around or wait for the boys that I am aware of their in at I am really not in the market." y to study out an intelligent wvay a to ever care about helping mne down my little Phi Beta Kappa trings always pull me through" my heavy carcass with profes Lily fences but over all the hurdles alsn work and no female barrier