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Dyed In Yellow ;:!fl ~?rr | The DOMI w NECKER |~rr-11 UNIVERSITY OF I SOUR CAROLINA I \M. xx.iin . no. iq One Bag Bnper Ohlcken Feed COLUMBIA, 8. 0., THE YELLOW TOWN Eggntablished April 1, 1938 Huey Faculty ? Barefoot Day If For Freshmen1 Made Easier Other Affairs Settled Friendly Game Follows Meeting; Short Circuit Morse Shines Brightly A special meeting of the University faculty was called last Wednesday to discuss the matter of giving freshmen the right to wear one shoe on barefoot day, it having been suggested that if one shoe were worn the freshmen would have one foot to limp on the next day. After this matter was settled, the learned gentlemen drifted off into pairs? until Hot Man Derrick livend things up with the simple question: "Who's got a deck of cards?" It seemed that there were several in the crowd, Short Circuit Hoy, the 1 number one bug man, coughed apologetically and admitted that he had brought a pack "to play solitaire with if the meeting got tiresome." Strangely enough, no one wanted to play solitaire, but Dr. Weinefeld, the Baltimore Yankee with the Big Bank Roll, said he had a few odd pennies he would like to build into eighty cents. This was ] (Continued on Paga I; Column I) Murch Throws Jeff Shin Dig i Dr. Abraham Merchison will enter- | tain his bible students with a dance | at the Jefferson, Monday night, the t eveni.ig being given in honor of several students who will go as mission- j aries to foreign fields in June. Among these who will enter into active duty | is William Howey who will go to the j jungles of Lancaster, and Mercedes i Hartzell who will carry the light to ' the darkest spots of Africa. The dancing will begin at 2:00 1'. M. and last until 4:00 P. M., during which time cocktails will be served on the J mezzanine. The Lamecock Sex-tette will furnish the music. GAINES NEW BEARD \ OF GIGANTIC GIRTH * _____ 5 Amid the cheering and rioting of t the students last night, Dink Gaines f was crowned the beard-growing chain- c pion of the University. Madam Sweeny was a close runner upper but j, failed by a hair to tie the bristling 0 young girl from Columbia. Other con- p testants, Cornelia Jackson, Katherine n Bush, Helen Townsend, Anne Ehrlich, j, Hamilton Warren, Sara Chandler, Betty Carlisle and Bessie Cheatham. ^ The race had been going on for several weeks but Miss Gaines began l to nose out the other contestants soon after the contest began. Catherine Taylor made a good start but her I chance of winning went up in flames when her beard was set afire by a cigarette. 1 With her flowing red beard waving S in the gentle breeze she accepted the reward of $5 from Dr. Babcock, who delivered an address on the weekness I of the weaker sex. "It is all a secret," declared the winn?r, "I have been drinking Lydia Pink- t ham for the last twenty years. It is \ good for children too. Try it on ^ yours too." (Continued on P?o? $| Column 3) Hoist; Port det Understudy ! *si IBs f :V: ^H^^hH^^^^B|^HB^^SsxIHSB|^ ' H Hk vHRflH Richard Kay Fauster understudy of Huey Long. Fauster played prominent part in faustering Huey Long. Debators Bull All Way Out Ropes Lone State Stars Big John And Rubio Cuts Loose? Bradsher Gets Jaw Broken Whistling The neuter bull session team, composed of Bruce Bigjohn and Layman Rubio, out-bulled the artists from the lone star state in a thrilling verbal lashing in the information bureau at the canteen recently. The query was: Resolve that more ?raft be gotten from debating trips. The vocal duet of Carolina pointed jut that in order for a debater to do iiis worst he must be paid at least 12c ier trip, while the lone star state agitation contended that a bull-artist anly needed 10c for a trip, that being the amount they received. Arguments continued until finally (Continued on Page 3; Column 3) HOWEY HAS HONORS HEAPED ON HIS HEAD Announcement was made yesterday hat "Wild Bill" Howey has been seected by the faculty and trustees of he University as dean of the graduate chool, to succeed Reed Smith, who is iufTering the effects of a thesis subinited by Richard Thompson in partial ulfilhnent of the degree of master of arts. The selection of Howey to this post las met with the unanimous approval if the student body. Jontiie Bowdic, resident of the student body, has anounced that a mass meeting will be ell sometime in the very near future o honor the gentleman from Heath prings. \ Poet Becomes Laden On Thoughts Of Maiden Jnder a streetlight?glimmer, glimmer, saw a maiden shimmer, shimmer. Ihc wore false teeth and her hair was peroxide, ,ook a little closer and you'll sec she's cross-eyed. he wore sandpaper 'tween her kneeses fade it sound like the gentle breezes, row that's the wiles that women use ( 'o woo men on to love. f s Nel "s One Can tey Causes FranticSearch Missing From Office Chief Sitting Still Wanders Fai From Usual Haunts Success capped the feeble efforts oi a committee of students and facultj ast Friday midnight to locate the miss ing Soft Seat Cantey, according tc Fly In My Ointment Chase, appropriate chairman of the searching party Once again enclosed in the foui walls of tenement 5 that have known Chief Sitting Still since he opened hi< peepers in this lazy world, the infirrc Marshall spoke of his adventures ir a frightened voice. "The other day I saw a cigarette gc by my office window. Not having one myself at the time, I stuck my head out the door and asked the fag tc let me drag. It didn't stop, so I followed in the hope that I would catcli it before it went far. Walk as fast as I could I was not able to overtake the weed, and twilight caught me in some (Continued on Puge 4; Column 3) Co-Ed Enthu m m v fRMjiV ' W| wQKSfl' ' Jennee Claarksen, sitting in Long' Share-Our-Health propoganda. The ' and Hooey's daughter belonging in th Pamby Poetry Poeti A four block sprint * then a shower Kevin now knows * * lysol has power Freshman Moor * "its a girl up stirs" Ah "go to bed * and say your prayers" Bring your pennies * to luck 7 Bruce You'll soon find out * it ain't no use I. Am. A. Berry * * and O. U. Stiff Out last night * to get a lift J. Wyley Brown * with his hat on top Parading around * like a circus cop Chase Balks B Battle Oi Rin g?a?1 i n g?a?li n g?a?1 ing. "Hallo" "Is that you?" "No, this is his secondairy." "Well, limine talk with the big shot I" "Oke doke." "You said it kid; it's my nickle." "Hello." (Very, very dingyficd) "Is this you Bake, old kid." "Yea, Man. Is that you Jack?" "Yep." "Whatcha want?" "Fooey Long is just B4 shooting >ff a lot of wind at the Clariosophic iociety. Did'ya hear about it?" lie To Shoe P Bugs Boggled f~ By Bottle I Causey Assailed Alone * Bed Bugs Vanquished In Battle Of Century. Corn Comes To Aid ' Bangl Bangl Bang! Thus began ' the battle Sunday night in Warper - College in which the Hon. Tommy> Rot Causey received the serious wounds which are confining him to the . veterinary horse-pital. He was awakened from the peaceful i sleep by his assailants. 3 He looked around and found noth> ing, so he took another swig and went i back to sleep. Again he was awakened. But alas?it was too late!! He ? was surrounded on all sides. Whipping : out his trusty bean-shooter; he quickly I mowed down the advance guard. He > had never seen so many bed-bugs in S( . all his life. g i He lost his head. Reaching under fii i his pillow he withdrew his bottle of ? : corn which lie mistook for insecticide : and sprayed the on-marching troops J (Continued on Page 4; Column )) sed Over Long ^ U 9L 1 ujjmSS ; Hk \ \Jpp|B ' fa s chair, reading up on deer Kingfish. it Tri-Delts will be glad to know Jennee ? le three Delts. , I raying Personalities R James Walsh * of the B Boys gang Joins Sotters Club now ain't that A hang Gcddncy How ** under banquet cloth Someone yelled dean * and was he off A Big Business Stricklin * just the same \\ Always working to make a dame T You know Clyde Gaffney girl Miss ^ Moore The one that waits * and waits some more? ? ? ? ^ aker In u c Bull-Shooting 1 "Yea, so what? You want to make something out of it?" ^ "What you gonna do about it?" N "Nothing." . "Oke dokel" itj "One of my stool-pigeons just told jia me that the mudfish was throwing a no mullet feed at the hotel. Let's go." "Can't make it. Got a date with the faculty to play tiddle-ti-winks." af) "Come to think of it I've got ten A] cents to lose." th "Well, I'll see you at the game." an '"Bye." wi (The receiver is slammed). be High 'roblem\ Long's Aide I Sn 11 Dcen N. Fryerson, who has been elected as Long's state organizer of hare-Our-Health Clubs. The Kingsh was influenced in his decision. Riot Ensues Over Quarter | Veinefeld Bites Dustj [orse's Timely Appearance Saves Babcock From Probable Manslaughter Quite a stir was created on the camlis the other day when Windy BabDck and Shiek Weinefeld tried to ex rniinate each other from the face of ie earth. The fight ended when Sheik I ot a bit of dust on one of his pre ason white shoes, but the noted au-1 lor, critic, dramatist, poet, teacher, I nd erstwhile fisherman was also the orse for wear after the struggle. It seems that the two were walking owly down one of the campus side-1 alks when they ran across a quarter at someone (probably one of the iotball boys) had dropped. Both saw simultaneously, and their heads met j (Continued on Paflo 4; Column 3) IOUND HARASSES HOLM AN HABITAT Are Jimmie Holman, May his tribe I increase! Woke THursday Morning from a deep dream of Pee-ce? NI) found within the sunlit expanse of his room, hound, ready, like a lilly in Bloom. I ' HAt-ho, he cried, lookin Round in despair, He odor of winter is still in the air. I Nd scratching his head, evidently I befuddled, \W on his floor a quite in a puddle, ud that is why his diet consists of today, og Buscuits?Just ASk Jack Killca. .eg Hunt Lends Color To Easter Celebration One of the most outsitting social nctions of the year?the Sigma uer's caster leg hunt?is now being aimed by the officials of that soror- I1 according to Clarko Jinks, whol1 s started from the bottom and is iw working his way up. (He was ought up on a sox). No dates will be admitted to this Fare?they will have to be prunes, implications will have to be made ree weeks in advance, the officials I( nounced, due to the fact that there i 11 be few vacancies. All girls will L formerly attired. r I Post I $ - Dean Favored With Position From Senator Becomes Chief Advisor . tx Friarson Finally Fulfills Fervor For Furthering Kingflsh's Fame Dean Nellie Fryerson, of the University, was recently elected State Organizer for Senator Hooey P. Long's Share-Our-Health program of South Carolina, in which one hundred or n.ore Share-Our-Health clubs will be organized, it was learned today from a hot telegram from the Kingfish at his Washington headquarters. It was further learned that Richard K. (Dick) Fauster, prodigy in law, was selected as Hooey's understudy, and otherwise right hand man. It came as a great surprise to most of the Campus when the dean produced a wire from L,ong this morning acknowledging acceptance of the new honor. It is understood that Father Cauthen and William Randolph Hurst have also wired congratulations; however, these were withheld because of the warm personal feelings conveyed. Father Cauthen, heads the Eastern Division of the country while Hurst heads the west. Immediate plans for the champagne could not be learned but it is rather certain that the dean will appoint I. AM. A. Berry, one of Ivong's first supporters on the Campus, as her first man and probably Swingo A. Mozingo as Secretary. (Continued oik Pmat ; Column 1) U. 8. C. Beaux Arts Ball May Be In Pen Plans are now being made with Guvner Johnstown to let the Beauzartz brawl be hell in the state penitentiary next winter. The only trouble with this scheme would be that some of the high powered students might like the grub out there so good that they would not want to return to their usual diet at the mess hall. The music will be played by the Lamecock orchestra, the members of which organization, will at that time only have ten more years to serve. The reason for the selection of this place as a location for the shin dig is that most members of the Reauzartz club won t have to buy costumes. If there are any speeches made, the speakers won t have to worry about their listeners leaving. HANDSOME HE-MEN 1 SEEK NEW HONORS Non-sorority girls met in the chapel some time ago and selected G. Stanley Bryant and Wilmot Hutto as their representatives for the fourthcoming May Queen peauty contest. They think that they are about the bestest lookin girls 011 the campus. Ted Nine-times and Dave Gallopway were the runner-ups but they didn't win on account of they have what their best friends won't tell them about. Pink tooth-brush, athlete's foot, and other honors were not considered, but if these features had been taken, there is no doubt that the latter two would have been selected without competition. Vivian Lomas and Kent Starvingpillar are the choice of I Felta Thi, popular girl's supporter. Lomas was chosen for his rare ability to walk in a feminine way, and Starvingpillar was selected because of his waving locks 1 (Continued on Pao? Si Column 9)